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Speaker 1: We were just talking for a month before he asked

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Speaker 1: me to be his girlfriend in June. Yeah, same, like

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Speaker 1: quick or you'll lose me.

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Speaker 2: Byde Right now, we are in America, so as we

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Speaker 2: spoke last week, this episode is just going to be

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Speaker 2: a continuation of our dilemmas.

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Speaker 1: You we would have just finished coach Ola, so we

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Speaker 1: would have been like, we're dying.

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Speaker 3: We are in very rustling dying.

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Speaker 2: So hopefully we can give you guys something to make

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Speaker 2: you feel a little bit better than we do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, both go straight into cool question of the week

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Speaker 1: is he what is the worst piece of advice you followed.

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Speaker 2: That my exes were worth pursuing. Honestly, I don't regret it.

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Speaker 2: I just think it's take me a long time to

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Speaker 2: get back to a place where I feel like myself.

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Speaker 3: You know, yeah, I have a few. Actually, to be fair,

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Speaker 3: I don't really think anyone told me to pursue that.

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Speaker 2: I think I did that all on my own.

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Speaker 1: A psychic once told me, oh, to not go no contact.

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Speaker 3: Oh why would they ever say that?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, fair boog back a message in

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Speaker 1: whenever I want a psychic.

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Speaker 3: That's fair. That's And then you're thinking the psychic told

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Speaker 3: me something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, its just that Wad hates Ti mich Oh, I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't replied, and I'm oh, well, the psychic told me

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Speaker 1: not to like funny.

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Speaker 2: Side note, not funny. Actually, I saw a psychic on Sunday.

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Speaker 2: I've been seeing a lot of psychics.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I just think they're interesting.

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Speaker 2: And she mentioned that La was going to fall and

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Speaker 2: that she assumed it would be the fires, but obviously

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Speaker 2: it wasn't. And then it's going to be an earthquake.

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Speaker 1: How'd you say that?

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Speaker 3: Well, why would I say that?

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Speaker 1: Hate earthquakes?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so do I and that I will be fine,

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Speaker 2: like I will live. But she doesn't know when it's

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Speaker 2: going to happen, just that it will happen this year.

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Speaker 2: So obviously we're only there for a month and three weeks.

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Speaker 2: So it's like, you know, let's just hope that it's

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Speaker 2: not all way there if it happens at all.

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Speaker 1: All right, we're going straight into your dilemmas. We're wasting

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Speaker 1: no time around here, so get away, girl, buckle up

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Speaker 1: for this dilemma. Apparently, she's saying, So, I've been dating

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Speaker 1: this guy, let's call him Jack, since May twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 1: so coming up on two years. But we were just

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Speaker 1: talking for a month before he asked me to be

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend in June pattern I rate that yeah, same,

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Speaker 1: I like, or you'll lose me yeah, one hundred literally.

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Speaker 1: The next month I drove to Port Stevens, Newcastle with

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Speaker 1: him that's where he's from, his family and friends. Stayed

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Speaker 1: for a week and then drove back home to the

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Speaker 1: Gold Coast. In January twenty twenty four, so eight months

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Speaker 1: into our relationship, Jack somehow convinced me to move to

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Speaker 1: Newcastle as he wants to save some money for twelve

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Speaker 1: months then go back to the Gold Coast. It took

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Speaker 1: a lot of convincing as I went in June. It

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Speaker 1: was nice for a week, but I could never see

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Speaker 1: myself living there.

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Speaker 3: Nice for a week, but your expectant to live there.

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Speaker 1: But for a boy. I'm dumb, and I thought I'd

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Speaker 1: give it a go. Anyway, fast forward to about seven

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Speaker 1: months of living in the Bay that's where they call

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Speaker 1: her where I live. I had this gut feeling. He

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Speaker 1: always tells me a little white lies that I would

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Speaker 1: catch him on, but this felt different. Jack had his

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Speaker 1: phone connected to his old iPad, so when he went

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Speaker 1: out for a surf, I looked on his iPad.

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Speaker 3: As one does.

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Speaker 2: All I'm hearing is he's a surfer. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: How am I giving advice to people?

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Speaker 1: You're good at giving advice, but when you listen to.

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Speaker 3: You take your own advice. Ever, yeah, I should though.

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Speaker 1: I looked on his Instagram and found messages between him

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Speaker 1: and his ex that only broke up because she moved

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Speaker 1: to Hawaii for surfing. It's kind of hot. There were

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Speaker 1: messages between them all the way back to June twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three, like to know when I came back to

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Speaker 1: visit the bay, saying how much they miss each other

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Speaker 1: with red love hearts and saying that she was in

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Speaker 1: the bay at the same time that they were there

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Speaker 1: for a week. To this day, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: they're actually caught up, because he went out for a

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Speaker 1: surf every day and she does two. But he denies it.

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Speaker 1: When I called him to say I wanted to talk

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Speaker 1: to him about something when he got home, Miraculously, the

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Speaker 1: whole conversation between him and then was deleted before he

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Speaker 1: got home. No talk about guilty conscience. Wow. Fast forward

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Speaker 1: a few months, another one of his ex's messages him

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Speaker 1: on Instagram asking if we're still talking because she's still

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Speaker 1: interested and doesn't want to waste her time, and he

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Speaker 1: replies to her having a conversation with her, but it

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Speaker 1: ends in saying it might not look like it, but yes,

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Speaker 1: I guess we're still together.

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Speaker 3: Fuck that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you are not moving your life to the Bay

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Speaker 2: for this man. You are breaking up with him, as

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Speaker 2: she already lives back to Gold Coast. I know, but

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Speaker 2: she's moving back to Gold Coast.

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Speaker 1: And again when I question him about it, miraculously, the

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Speaker 1: whole conversation is deleted again. Ever since this, I've been

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Speaker 1: so put off and never felt the same towards him.

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Speaker 1: I still have so much love for him, but I

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Speaker 1: don't want to hug or kiss him or anything. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you're disgusted by him, Yeah, you're done, girl. He's

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Speaker 1: been love bombing me ever since because he knows I

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Speaker 1: treated him so well and he doesn't want to lose me.

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Speaker 1: He brings me coffee every morning after his search with

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Speaker 1: a note on it. He would literally wipe my ass

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Speaker 1: if I ask.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it brings you coffee and textas X. Coffee

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Speaker 2: doesn't matter that much.

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Speaker 3: About way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and he should be like he's doing that now

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Speaker 1: because he lose you. That's not innately in his being.

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Speaker 3: And the moment you forgive him, he'll stop doing it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. We've now been here for a year and two

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Speaker 1: munchs and there's no sign of any money saved or

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Speaker 1: moving back time any anytime soon, like he promised. I

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Speaker 1: miss home and I want to move back for all

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Speaker 1: my money that I had saved to go home towards

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Speaker 1: my puppy twenty one thousand dollars that bill in January

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Speaker 1: to save his life. That's another story. So my day,

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Speaker 1: La Mirry is I'm kind of stuck. I don't have

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Speaker 1: any savings now to move home, and I'm living in

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Speaker 1: his space room. We don't pay rent as we live

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Speaker 1: at his dad's house. We aren't together and haven't been

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Speaker 1: for about five months, and I'm just not feeling it.

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Speaker 1: But I kind of have no choice but to stay

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Speaker 1: here until I save up again. I can't move in

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Speaker 1: with my mum or dad as though with their partners

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Speaker 1: and kids, so there's no room. I don't have a

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Speaker 1: job right now because my crippling anxiety and I've just

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Speaker 1: started medication for it. I do a little bit of

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Speaker 1: online work, which gets me by. At the moment, I

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Speaker 1: feel so flat and unmotivated every day, and there's nothing

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Speaker 1: here for me. I have two dogs and that's the

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Speaker 1: only thing keeping me happy at the moment. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what to do, and I feel so lost right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm almost twenty three, and I feel like I should

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Speaker 1: have my life on track. Send help. First of all,

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Speaker 1: you're only twenty three, so you don't have to.

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Speaker 3: Have your life on track twenty three.

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty four and hunt, I've got no fucking idea

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Speaker 2: what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

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Speaker 2: But honestly, I think, look, starting anxiety men's will be

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Speaker 2: a great thing for the anxiety mm hmm. So hopefully

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Speaker 2: that gets under control soon, I honestly reckon it takes

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Speaker 2: probably a month a month maybe for things to go

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Speaker 2: back to normal. But I think for Port of callers

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Speaker 2: to start looking for work, I think that is step one.

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Speaker 2: Do something chill, something like work as a receptionist or something.

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Speaker 1: You know, work at a cafe where you're around people.

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Speaker 1: I feel like you feel very isolated at the moment

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Speaker 1: because you obviously only have.

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Speaker 3: Here someone you can make friends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think get a job at a cafe. I

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Speaker 1: know you say you have crippling anxiety, but I think

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Speaker 1: at the moment, you're in survival mode and you need

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Speaker 1: to like make ends meet, get on fairy Floss in

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Speaker 1: the Gold Coast and just move. You need to like

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Speaker 1: work hard, put your head down, bump up for.

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Speaker 3: A few weeks. By the way, is somewhere you can

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Speaker 3: buy a roommate.

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Speaker 2: Even if you have a friend that has a spare

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Speaker 2: room or a couch, they'd be willing to let you

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Speaker 2: stay on for a couple weeks until you find a place,

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Speaker 2: just because honestly, the situation right now you obviously know

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Speaker 2: isn't sustainable, It isn't ideal. But I think port of

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Speaker 2: call one is to start saving some money. So you

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Speaker 2: need to get a job.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's like literally your only solution. Or

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Speaker 1: you could go to your parents and say, I really

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Speaker 1: need to get the fuck out of here. I understand why,

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Speaker 1: Like I obviously I can't live with you guys. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure they will be able to help either way, and

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Speaker 1: just like get you out of there so then you

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Speaker 1: can be relocated back in the Gold Coast. Your anxiety

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Speaker 1: will go down, you'll feel much more happier, much more stable,

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Speaker 1: you're not in this toxic cycle. That then we'll help

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Speaker 1: you get a job and then earning some money, and.

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Speaker 2: Then things will start looking up. But remember you are

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Speaker 2: twenty three, so don't feel like you need to have

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Speaker 2: your life on tracks just yet, like you need to

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Speaker 2: get rid of that guilt because standard yeah.

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Speaker 3: Very okay. Number two.

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Speaker 2: I've been friends with this one girl for a while

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Speaker 2: since about year nine. We became super super close and

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Speaker 2: you're eleven, and then she and I started to go

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Speaker 2: through some mental health struggles around the same time. We

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Speaker 2: were originally in a group of five, but as she

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Speaker 2: and I became closer and closer, we started to distance ourselves.

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Speaker 2: My mum used to tell me at the time that

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Speaker 2: she and I had an unhealthy attachment rooted in the

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Speaker 2: fact that we were both a little unstable and suffering mentally.

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Speaker 2: We would lean on each other for reassurance that what

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Speaker 2: we were feeling was normal and we were simply outcasts

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Speaker 2: who were different. She ended up getting diagnosed with OCD,

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Speaker 2: which in turn made me feel like I had to

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Speaker 2: When I write this out now, it sounds crazy, but

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Speaker 2: at the time I just felt super misunderstood and thought

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Speaker 2: she was the only person who got me and was

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Speaker 2: there for me. So the last two years of high

206
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Speaker 2: school we were both basically inseparable, really low in terms

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Speaker 2: of mental health and just.

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Speaker 3: Not doing well.

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Speaker 2: But she became like a sister to me. Now it's

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Speaker 2: my first year of UNI. I've finally started on an

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Speaker 2: antidepressant as of December, which has helped me so much.

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Speaker 2: I feel normal again. I can function in everyday life,

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Speaker 2: talk to people, look after myself, and enjoy living. I've

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Speaker 2: made heaps of friends at UNI, and I have been

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Speaker 2: putting myself out there socially, going on dates and partying.

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Speaker 3: This girl is the opposite.

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Speaker 2: She's still stuck in the mental right she's been in

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Speaker 2: for the past three years. She's not working or studying

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Speaker 2: or going out. I'm her only friend. It makes me

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Speaker 2: so so upset as we talked about how much better

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Speaker 2: life would be once we got out of high school

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Speaker 2: and how we can't wait to do everything together. I'm

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Speaker 2: at that point of freedom, but she's not. The dilemma

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Speaker 2: is that she's very upset about this. She feels like

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Speaker 2: I'm abandoning her simply because I'm making new connections and

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Speaker 2: doing things without her. When I do invite her to

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Speaker 2: go out, ninety nine percent of the time, she tells

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Speaker 2: me she doesn't feel well enough. She's also an insane,

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Speaker 2: compulsive liar, which I think stems from mental struggles. She's

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Speaker 2: lied about crazy things like having cancer as for six

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Speaker 2: years as a child, having a stillborn brother, being related

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Speaker 2: to random celebrities like The Rock, coming from poverty Okay,

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Speaker 2: Anna Paul, and her mum having.

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Speaker 3: To ment her at fifty.

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Speaker 2: She uses these things to manipulate me and make me

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Speaker 2: feel guilty, like a real victim complex. She's also quite

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Speaker 2: sensitive and immature, so any type of conflict results in

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Speaker 2: me always having to be the bigger person and just

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Speaker 2: apologize and move on. I love her so much, but

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Speaker 2: I think it's a toxic type of love. When I

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Speaker 2: distance myself, I find myself missing her. I also try

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Speaker 2: to look for the good parts of her personality and

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Speaker 2: other people when making friends. It almost feels abusive in

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Speaker 2: a way, and I'm so stuck on what to do.

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Speaker 2: I'm now eighteen and in UNI and have the whole

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Speaker 2: world at my hand, so I don't want to be

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Speaker 2: held back.

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Speaker 1: The complex of like her not taking she still feels

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Speaker 1: so isolated, but like, you can't live your life to

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Speaker 1: make her happy. And you guys were there for each

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Speaker 1: other when you both needed her, and you've kind of

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Speaker 1: grown up and you just need to leave that in

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Speaker 1: the past. And obviously she's still stuck in that and

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Speaker 1: that's not your responsibility to get her out of that anymore.

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Speaker 1: She's not willing to change.

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Speaker 3: Your shoes or whatever is your responsibility, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like you've taken the leap and it

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Speaker 2: wasn't easy to like get out of that rut and

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Speaker 2: allow yourself to enjoy life a little bit.

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Speaker 3: And hopefully she will.

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Speaker 2: Feel like that again one day when she feels like

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Speaker 2: there is no other options. But right now she knows

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Speaker 2: that she can just suck you back into it. I

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Speaker 2: think she's being a bad friend by not being happy

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Speaker 2: for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that you're.

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Speaker 3: Now out of that stage of life.

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Speaker 1: You know, like you're doing all the right things by

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Speaker 1: like offering to her to go and everything like that,

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Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, you can't really

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Speaker 1: control her and what she's doing. I think you need

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Speaker 1: to just like really walk away. I know it's so hard.

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Speaker 1: I had a girl in high school had a lot

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Speaker 1: of mental problems and it weighed so heavily on me,

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Speaker 1: and like I took her problems on as my own,

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Speaker 1: but I ultimately have to step away from that because

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Speaker 1: it was dangerous to me and like my wellbeing. And

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Speaker 1: I know that that's super selfish, but like, you do

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Speaker 1: need to put yourself first and the only person that

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Speaker 1: you have in your life is you.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like therapy is something that might be

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Speaker 2: beneficial to this go. I'm not sure if that's something

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Speaker 2: you could get her talk her into maybe giving it

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Speaker 2: a go of talking to someone a psychologist, just because

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Speaker 2: she also needs to start now taking steps to get

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Speaker 2: out of that right And I almost feel like maybe

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Speaker 2: she not that she doesn't want true, but she's not

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Speaker 2: actively trying to. She's just hoping she can get you

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Speaker 2: back in it. And I feel like that is an abusive,

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Speaker 2: toxic kind of love, and you need to stay focused

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Speaker 2: on the path ahead of like you wanting to enjoy life,

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Speaker 2: and hopefully she'll one day feel that same way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it might take her a little longer, but I

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Speaker 1: think you always say, like I'm always here to support you,

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Speaker 1: and I'm always here for you, but you really need

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Speaker 1: to like, start doing things for yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeap, because that hole she has on you isn't going

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Speaker 2: to benefit either of you in the long run.

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Speaker 3: Agreed. But that sounds really, really, really fucking hard.

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Speaker 1: It's very shitty. I'm so sorry. SUBII number three. My

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00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,079
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I have been together for two and a

302
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Speaker 1: half years, but we haven't had sex for a month.

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Speaker 1: When I finally pushed for an answer, he told me,

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Speaker 1: Oh my fucking god, oh no. When I finally pushed

305
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,880
Speaker 1: for an answer, he told me, is because I've gained weight.

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Speaker 3: What the fuck? Drop him?

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Speaker 2: Puberty blue style, Get your friend to tell him that

308
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Speaker 2: he's been dropped.

309
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Speaker 3: This guy's done though.

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Speaker 1: At the start of twenty twenty four, I was sixty

311
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Speaker 1: two kilos and now I'm seventy. But last year I

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00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,319
Speaker 1: broke my back in Europe and I've only just gotten

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Speaker 1: back to the gym in the last twelve weeks.

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Speaker 2: Brother, The fact that you're even going to the gym

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Speaker 2: after having broken your back, like.

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Speaker 1: Babe, congratulate yourself on this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, be proud of yourself, and he should be proud

318
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Speaker 2: of you as well. And understand that being probably stagnant

319
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Speaker 2: for a while because of a broken back I'm not

320
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,080
Speaker 2: going to look like a fuck and supermodel hunt, but

321
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Speaker 2: if you love me, it shouldn't matter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. When we met, I was nineteen and struggling with depression.

323
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,319
Speaker 1: I wasn't eating enough and overtraining. While I might have

324
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,679
Speaker 1: looked better on the outside, I actually wasn't happy. I

325
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,800
Speaker 1: can completely relate to on that. Then he also admitted

326
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,600
Speaker 1: that he's been curious about sleeping with other people since

327
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,520
Speaker 1: he's only been with two other people before me. I

328
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,000
Speaker 1: understand to degree, but after two years together it feels brutal.

329
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,240
Speaker 1: We got to the point of almost breaking up, talking

330
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,600
Speaker 1: about splitting furniture what would happen with that dog? Before

331
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,760
Speaker 1: he suddenly changed his mind and didn't mean any of

332
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 1: it and wanted to stay together. I've been wanting to

333
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,040
Speaker 1: move to Melbourne for such a long time, but I've

334
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 1: held off because of him. Now I feel like I've

335
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 1: lost my confidence. I hate my body. I see myself

336
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,120
Speaker 1: the way he sees me. I don't have anyone to

337
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,880
Speaker 1: talk about it too, as my mom passed away recently.

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Speaker 3: I'm so sorry to hear that guy.

339
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,760
Speaker 1: And I'd love to hear your advice. Would you stay

340
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,280
Speaker 1: and try work things out or leave? To see what's

341
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,720
Speaker 1: out there. Are his reasons about my weight valid? No, no,

342
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 1: always is a big issue. No no, no.

343
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,560
Speaker 2: You congratulate yourself that you are feeling better mentally, that

344
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:08,240
Speaker 2: you're eating better, that you're functioning as a better person,

345
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,040
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Literally, that is amazing

346
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,560
Speaker 2: in its own right, So you should just be glad

347
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,320
Speaker 2: of that. Anyone making you feel like that isn't such

348
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,200
Speaker 2: a great thing, does not need to be in your life. Firstly,

349
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,240
Speaker 2: always gonna say you need to break up with this woman,

350
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,480
Speaker 2: You need to move to Melbourne and just experience it.

351
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,240
Speaker 2: If you want to move to Melbourne, don't let someone

352
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,400
Speaker 2: hold you back. And if you feel better inside then

353
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,720
Speaker 2: that is literally all that matters, and you probably look

354
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:31,160
Speaker 2: better too.

355
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. For someone to outly admit that you have gained

356
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,120
Speaker 1: weight and he's not having sex with you because he's

357
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,280
Speaker 1: not attracted to you is literally a self projection that

358
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,960
Speaker 1: he is insecure about himself and he needs to find

359
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 1: a reason with you to obviously put you down and

360
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 1: to make you feel shit about yourself. If someone truly

361
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,240
Speaker 1: loved you, they should not care about how much you

362
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,640
Speaker 1: weigh or what you look like, because love isn't a

363
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,960
Speaker 1: physical thing. Love is an emotional attachment to someone and

364
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 1: they should be able to look past it. And it's

365
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,520
Speaker 1: disgusting that he has that otherwise.

366
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,600
Speaker 2: And I think he's scared to lose you when he

367
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,760
Speaker 2: finally was faced with that reality. But he's the type

368
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:08,640
Speaker 2: of guy that will the moment he thinks someone better

369
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,680
Speaker 2: comes along, someone that he thinks is better, I'll go

370
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,520
Speaker 2: to someone. You'll go to someone else. I'm not saying

371
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,960
Speaker 2: she will be better than you, but in his mind,

372
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 2: he's just marting his time, I think.

373
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,800
Speaker 3: And you need to get out before.

374
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, he'll have something like Yeah, it's the typical thing

375
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,640
Speaker 1: of like he once he finds someone to line something

376
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,440
Speaker 1: up to to like jump to the next he will.

377
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,840
Speaker 2: And if you try to work, do you want to

378
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,280
Speaker 2: work it out with a guy that treats makes you

379
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,400
Speaker 2: feel that way? Do you want to marry a guy

380
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 2: that makes you feel that way? What about when you

381
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,400
Speaker 2: gain weight when you're pregnant? Yeah then what Yeah? No,

382
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,800
Speaker 2: this guy sucks and he needs he needs to go.

383
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,000
Speaker 2: So I'm sorry you're experiencing that. That sounds allo. If

384
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 2: you want to Melbourn, move to Melbourne. People are great.

385
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 2: Here's everything's fun here. You will love it, and I

386
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 2: feel like it will only be the start of your

387
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 2: life when you come here.

388
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Speaker 1: Ye take the dog and fucking run, babe, Yeah, take

389
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:51,680
Speaker 1: the dog.

390
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,840
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, So this has been a doozy. So I

391
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 2: broke up with my boyfriend of nearly four years just

392
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 2: over a month ago. I've been emotionally checked out of

393
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 2: their relationship for a lot longer than I realized. I

394
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 2: met this guy during the final weeks of me and

395
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,359
Speaker 2: my boyfriend dating and I had just moved to university.

396
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 2: We were just friends and he was very flirtatious. Nevertheless,

397
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,440
Speaker 2: this is where it gets messy. A few days after

398
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,200
Speaker 2: breaking up, I got with this guy. I started seeing

399
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,720
Speaker 2: him most nights, but mainly just talking all night about

400
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,400
Speaker 2: what makes us tick and just deep stuff. I feel

401
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 2: like I was finally receiving what I longed for for

402
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 2: so long in.

403
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,360
Speaker 3: My previous relationship.

404
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,160
Speaker 2: The problem is not many of either of our friends

405
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 2: or family trust either of us or think it's a

406
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 2: good idea, as he didn't long ago break up with

407
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,400
Speaker 2: his girlfriend of a few years, and people are believing

408
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 2: it's just going to be a spark in the wind

409
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 2: and going to be very short lived basically, so hold up.

410
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,360
Speaker 1: She got out of a relationship a month ago.

411
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:48,760
Speaker 2: Met a guy he also had just broken up with

412
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 2: his girlfriend, and they're like connecting really well, but it's

413
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 2: really quick. I basically found out that this boy got

414
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 2: with another girl the same night we had our first kiss,

415
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,400
Speaker 2: and he had multiple chances to tell me but didn't.

416
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:01,360
Speaker 3: I don't care that he kissed the girl.

417
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,320
Speaker 2: I care that he withheld that info from me, as

418
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 2: he knew stuff like that was very triggering for me

419
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,879
Speaker 2: from past trauma. He was very apologetic, and we decided

420
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,240
Speaker 2: to go on a break to both better ourselves and

421
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,640
Speaker 2: figure out what we wanted before jumping into something so soon.

422
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:14,480
Speaker 3: I think that's fair.

423
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,520
Speaker 2: I think if you've both come out of relationships, jumping

424
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,200
Speaker 2: straight into another one I think is never particularly wise.

425
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 1: Because it's all going to hit you one day.

426
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 2: Because then you use that person to fix the issues

427
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,679
Speaker 2: of your last relationship when you need to fix them yourself. Yeah,

428
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 2: he says he's going to rebuild my trust with his

429
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,920
Speaker 2: actions rather than words, and says.

430
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,120
Speaker 3: He's not going to get with anyone.

431
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 2: I feel fucking crazy and don't know what to do

432
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 2: because everything kind of just happened so quickly, But I

433
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,320
Speaker 2: think I really like him. But I've lost trust in

434
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 2: myself since I believed I was going to marry my

435
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 2: previous boyfriend before, and I'm scared of changing my mind

436
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 2: down the track and inevitably hurting both of us.

437
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 3: Help. I'm so confused.

438
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if I should work on myself or

439
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 2: take the rest and try things with this boy.

440
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,360
Speaker 3: Work on yourself, worken yourself.

441
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,480
Speaker 2: This boy will still be there in a couple months

442
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,440
Speaker 2: or a year if you if he's the right one

443
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 2: for you. But I have always said to my friends,

444
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 2: my sister, everyone, that you do need that time to

445
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 2: be single, or it's never gonna work hard.

446
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 1: You need time to process everything that happened in your

447
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,719
Speaker 1: last relationship. You do not know who you are like

448
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 1: outside of a relationship. You were in a relationship for

449
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 1: four years. Discover and fall in love with yourself before

450
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 1: you were fall in love with another person. And that's

451
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 1: all I'm gonna say. Just don't be with him.

452
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 2: I think you need to give it a break for

453
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 2: at least a couple of months.

454
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,719
Speaker 1: Okay, last submission. How do you go about friends who

455
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 1: sweep everything under the rug and throw digs at you

456
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 1: weeks a month after incidents. I have a friend who

457
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 1: doesn't like conflict unless we're with certain people. We went

458
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 1: out for her birthday one night and conversations were had

459
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,240
Speaker 1: where I mentioned something that she had said to another

460
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 1: group of girls about in which she denied and I

461
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 1: got a little defensive A because I know you said

462
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 1: it and b fucking owner babes. Anyway, the day after,

463
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,680
Speaker 1: she said it was all good, no bad feelings, let's

464
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: leave the conversation we had in the past. A week later,

465
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: she texts to say she doesn't think she can be

466
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: around me when I'm drunk because I'm the worst person

467
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 1: on earth, and then proceeds to laugh it off. At

468
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 1: this point, I'm annoyed because I asked the other day

469
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 1: if she wanted to clear the air and if there

470
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 1: was anything about my behavior that night that didn't resonate

471
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 1: with her, and she said, no, I had the best

472
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,159
Speaker 1: night with you girls, Honestly, best night I've had in

473
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 1: a long time. I think, especially from my perspective as

474
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 1: I've gotten older, the more I hate conflict.

475
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,919
Speaker 2: I just think if there's an issue at hand, and

476
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,119
Speaker 2: you really care about your friend and you want things

477
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 2: to work out in a way without drama. It needs

478
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 2: to be confronted immediately. So I think the fact that

479
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:47,919
Speaker 2: this girl lies about having issues is a problem from

480
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 2: the drum, I think, yeah, in order to keep a

481
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 2: happy friendship, I think you need to be always honest

482
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,959
Speaker 2: about each other when you have an issue immediately, like

483
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 2: nip it in the bud and get it sorted. And

484
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 2: this girl clearly thrives I think off the drama of it.

485
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,639
Speaker 1: I think she maybe is waiting for her but she

486
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: says she's avoiding the.

487
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 3: Conflict she gives off short term friendship.

488
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, because anyone that makes you feel bad, even in

489
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 2: the sense of like I can't fucking be around you

490
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 2: when you don't you're a fucking nightmare. Yeah, I don't know, girl,

491
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 2: maybe you could be a bit of a nightmare, but

492
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 2: it could be handled better, do you know what I mean?

493
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 2: You can have a friend say that to you nicer.

494
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 2: I just feel like it's all just a bit immature

495
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:22,919
Speaker 2: and dramatic.

496
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think maybe just say to her like, oh okay,

497
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 1: Like if we're truly over it and you had a

498
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 1: nice night, like I wouldn't like this being mentioned again.

499
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 2: You just need to talk to her about being honest

500
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 2: and saying, like a poll, if I did do something

501
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 2: wrong like that's fine, but I would always rather you come.

502
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 3: And tell me immediately so I can fix it for you.

503
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 2: Verse it kind of growing into a resentment thing of

504
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 2: like her never wanting to be around you when she drinks.

505
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,360
Speaker 1: That's a good you know, I agree?

506
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 2: All right, my loves, once again, we're going to be

507
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 2: bedrotten in Palm Springs right now.

508
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 3: And we love you all, love you so much.

509
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 2: And hopefully you enjoy the next best ofs over the month,

510
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 2: but we got to yell get fucked up in La.

511
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: Make sure you're watching are tiktoks for.

512
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 3: All the everything, all the food reviews? Guys. All right,

513
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 3: we love you.

514
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 1: Bye,