WEBVTT - #141 Turia Pitt's Unbreakable Mindset: Inspiring Lessons in Resilience for All 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:01.880 Hi, my boris, and this is straight talk. 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:05.960 I could just hear the fire coming closer and closer. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.959 My hands and arms they were on fire. I got 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:15.440 this huge rush of elation because I was still standing, 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:19.840 still alive. Helicopter came and then I woke up a 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:22.560 month later in a hospital in Sydney. 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:24.560 Dory, Welcome to straight talk. 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:26.640 Thank you, Mark, Thank you for having me. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:29.040 Just talking today, Tory, Like, what I'm getting from you 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:31.920 is discipline, structure, self belief. 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.360 A good support group is that what you want to 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:35.320 leave people with. 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:39.360 A Relationships are the most important thing. So maybe being 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.560 a bit vulnerable and not being afraid to tell people 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:43.760 how much they mean to you, because I know I 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:46.800 was never good at that before this accident, and I've 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.960 gotten so much better at letting people know how much 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:55.000 they mean to me. I always struggled to explain how 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:57.960 I did it, and I think it was every day 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:01.480 I just got up and I just kept going. 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:05.240 Dory bit, Welcome to straight talk. 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:07.679 Thank you, Mark, Thank you for having me. 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:10.199 Where am I? Where are you? Where are we talking 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:11.679 to each other? From one riverside at. 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:17.039 The moment, I'm in Aladullah, South Coast. I was going 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:18.880 to say, God's caun't you? But then I thought, no, 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:20.240 that's going to make me look like a bit of 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:22.840 a bogain, So I won't say that, but. 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:25.720 I said it. So I said it, so I looked 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:30.559 like one exactly. Well. But by the way, happy birthday, 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.240 I think for tomorrow. Yeah, that's right. 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:37.640 Birthday, Yes, thirty seven. 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:38.120 Happy birthday? 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.559 Thank you? How old? How old are you? 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:41.000 Oh? 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:42.440 My god, don't ask me how old? 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:42.720 I have? 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:46.679 Sixty eight, sixty eight, sixty nine? Next birthday? 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.560 Yeah, you've lived a lot of life, and I know 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:53.360 you've got lots of lessons of people totally, including melding. 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:55.680 I guess I'm nearly double your age. I'm nearly double 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:59.160 your age. How's the world treating you for at thirty seven? 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:00.320 Hey you? Hey, you going? 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.200 You know what, It's been pretty good. It's been really 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:08.200 good so living. My husband's a helicopter pilot. We've got 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:12.919 these two beautiful little boys doing a bit of work. 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:15.640 Like I know you do a bit of speaking, Mark, 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:20.760 so do I my running program writing. So all of 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:22.920 that keeps me really busy, as well as my kids. 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:25.880 I think, to summon up, life's pretty good. 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:27.440 So you've just come back from Indo. 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:30.560 Yeah, I went to Indo and you commented on my 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.160 surfing post, which I. 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:36.880 Was really yeah, I did so, so I just look 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:37.240 at my notes. 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:40.560 I didn't realize this, but you're born in Tahiti before. 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:46.480 Yeah, so my mom's tai Haitian, my dad's Australian. I 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:49.480 was born in Tahiti and then I think I was 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:52.679 I've got another brother, Genji, So I was around six months. 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.480 They decided to move back to Australia, and I think 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:59.800 they made that decision just for I think a better 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:02.959 life for us kids. They thought they would have in Australia, 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:06.359 Like you know, it's a bigger country, there's more opportunities. 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:10.040 So yeah, we moved here when I was really little. 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:12.600 But I've still got family all over there. And my 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:17.560 mom has actually moved back to Tahiti. Now. She doesn't 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:20.160 actually live in Tahiti. She lives on a different adult 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:25.760 called Renguiaa. I went and visited her last year with 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:31.679 the boys. She lives in a really remote spot. She's 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:37.080 got no electricity, no water, living in a little hut, 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.320 kind of like I suppose what people did back in 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.600 the day, and she's so happy. I think it's the 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:47.080 happiest I've ever seen her, which I think was a 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:49.440 really good lesson for me because after a week there, 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:51.840 I was so Boardmark. I was like, I want to go, 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:55.080 Hime and get me out of Here's there's nothing to do. 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:57.600 But I think it was a really good lesson because 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:01.600 I think, particularly now in modern world, we're so busy, 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:04.000 we're always going, we always want to keep achieving and 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:07.160 doing and being productive, and it was a really good 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:11.960 insight into you know, whether that stuff, whether all that 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:16.599 achieving and all that producing, actually makes us fulfilled and happy, 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:21.000 or if whether we get that sense of happiness and 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:24.839 purpose by connecting to our land, connecting to our culture, 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:28.880 connecting to our family, looking after others, that type of 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:30.359 thing that's interesting. 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:31.000 You should say that. 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.720 So maybe you could explain to me, because I'm not 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:38.559 that familiar with Tahiti or Tahitian culture, or for that matter, 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:43.280 Tahitians as such. I mean, it's, to be honest, a 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:47.000 bit of a mystery to me. So Taititian people are 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:51.560 I guess are Polynesian. Is that top Polynesian in terms 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.240 of genetics. 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.080 So they're Polynesian, So they're part of the Polynesian Triangle, 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:59.719 which is from Hawaii to which is New Zealand, and 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:05.120 then Rapuanui, which is Easter Island. So Polynesian people colonize 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:11.119 the whole Pacific Ocean. Thousands and thousands of years ago Europeans, 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:16.760 you know, discovered Polynesia, and so Tahiti was colonized by 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:21.440 the French. So everyone speaks French over there, but they 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:26.040 also still speak their traditional language, which is Tahitian. But 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:29.600 where my mom lives, it's I don't even know how 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.960 to say it right, it's poor motu. Don't know if 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.800 I've said that right. So it's a slight variant to Tahitian. 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:41.320 So your mom sounds like she's like full full on 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:45.320 as a Tahitian. Is she Is she like full blooded Tahitian, 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.360 No person by genetically. 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:53.480 No, she's not full blooded genetically. And I think as 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:58.160 well Mark, you know, with colonization, I'm not sure if 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:01.479 many people would say that they're full blooded. And I 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:06.720 think for a lot of people that question can come 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:11.360 across as being a bit a little bit denigrating. Maybe, 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:15.760 So she's not full blooded. Her mom is Tahitian. Well, 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.880 her mom is from Ranguia and her dad is French. 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:24.000 So her dad was a soldier who went to Tahiti, 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:27.800 I think in the around in the seventies. But my 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:30.280 mom grew up she never knew her dad. She never 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:30.880 knew him. 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.600 Because I'm trying to work out, I'm trying to see, 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:37.800 look at the influences on yourself. Obviously, her parents are 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:41.599 and always big influences on all of us, particularly mums. 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:44.480 I'm talking about it in my case at least, because 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:46.800 I can only talk about her survey one. That's me 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:51.800 and my I guess my owin kids. But if your 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:57.840 mom's influences are her mother and culturally Tahitian, especially given 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.000 what she's going to done now gone there to live there, 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:04.240 and it sounds like like it's living off grid, how 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:07.240 much of that is actually influenced you. 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:10.160 I think a lot of it mark and growing up, 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:13.680 you know, I would say that she was always so 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:17.240 proud to be Tahitian. Her mom was a single mom, 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:22.600 she raised four kids. She fought the French government for 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:26.120 decades to get her traditional land back. So again in 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:30.000 Australia may be a little bit like you know, land 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:34.160 rights for our First Nations people. So my grandmother is 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:39.520 incredibly strong and determined. My mom just as much. You know, 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:42.680 she moved toward different countries, she didn't speak English. She 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:44.800 ended up having four kids here. She wrote a best 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:50.040 selling trilogy about life in Tahiti. She learned Tahitian as 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:53.400 an adult because when my mom was growing up in Tahiti, 0:07:54.640 --> 0:07:58.440 no one spoke Tahitian. It was frowned upon, so everyone 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:03.280 spoke French. And so as an older person, she's learned 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:08.080 Tahiti and started reconnecting to her culture that way. So 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:10.760 I think definitely there's a lot of influence on me. 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:13.440 And even if you look at my kids' names, you know, 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:18.200 hkaa Rahiti, both of those are Polynesian names. So it's 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:21.800 something that I'm very, very proud of to be Polynesian. 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:27.520 I don't speak Tahitian. I sound, you know, pretty Australian, 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:31.760 my accents pretty strong, so I'm told. But I still 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.720 think you can be connected to your culture even though 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.160 you might not. You know, I never even lived in Tahiti. 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:40.600 I moved here when I was six months old, but 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.240 I still feel pretty connected to it. 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:47.160 And then when you're this is about you, by the way, 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:50.320 but I'm actually can tree about your mom. Now, your 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:51.679 mum moved back to. 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.679 Tahitian, back to this remote, more and more remote place, 0:08:56.679 --> 0:09:01.000 and made a decision to sort of live this more 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:03.360 natural life is probably better way, probably good way for 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:08.640 me to describe it. What was her objective? I'm trying 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:09.080 to achieve. 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:12.760 Yeah, you know, and that's what all of us kids 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:15.520 were doing, because no shit, when she first moved there, 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:19.920 she was living in a tent like she wasn't it 0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:23.480 wasn't bougie, nothing about it was easier or nice. My 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:27.959 mom is what like, maybe's close to sixty. Her mom 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:34.240 is maybe eighty. So my grandma won her traditional land back, 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:38.440 and my mom and my grandma went to the land 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:42.120 set up tents and we're like, cool, we're here, this 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:44.959 is our land, and we're going to turn it into something, 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.840 you know, a little bit nicer or a little bit easier. 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.600 So I think that might have been my mom's objective. 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:57.480 I think she obviously wanted to reconnect to her culture. 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.880 She really liked Australia. She always says it's given all 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:05.560 of us kids such a great life, and that's that 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:08.360 is true. But I think probably a part of her 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:12.800 was always homesick when she was in Australia. So yeah, Mark, 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:16.400 my mom is the most fascinating woman you would ever meet. 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:21.040 She's so bad us and she's someone that decides she's 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.480 going to do something and then she just goes and 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:28.040 fucking does it. And I've always really admired that about 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:31.240 my mom. And if you think about you know, when 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:33.960 I was growing up, I had three brothers. My mom 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:38.880 worked full time and every night she would write, she 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:42.520 would work on these books that she was writing, and 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.120 I just think the amount of self belief she had 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.000 was amazing. I don't know if I've got that same 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:51.040 amount of self belief. 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.520 In no way, I want to ask more about your mom, 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:58.439 because I actually think these things inform us, because these 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:01.240 things inform us about ourselves. And I've been a big 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:04.559 student of my own family, my own parents, and because 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.160 everything I do, I have to be honest, like pretty 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:11.920 much most things that I initiate in my life have somewhere, 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.120 somehow found their way into my life as a result 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:14.679 of something my. 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.160 Parents have done. Which is I. 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:20.079 Feel like sometimes I've never had an original idea, and 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:23.240 I think maybe that probably applies to most people who 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:26.160 have had a nice, good relationship with their family. Probably 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:28.800 people had bad relationships to the family to some extent 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:32.360 of formed ideas as a result of the bad relationship too. 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:35.480 So if your mum right now she's living sort of 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.960 on the land that her grandmother, sorry, your grandmother, her 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:39.760 mother won back. 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:41.200 How long a does your grandmother? 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:43.440 How long did it take your grandmother to get this 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.400 land back to her into her family. 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:51.040 It took decades, Mark, it took decades and decades and decades, 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:56.439 which is crazy. And I think the thing is, it's 0:11:56.679 --> 0:12:00.800 wine buggling to me that you have to, you know, 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:04.400 you've got to prove that something that always belonged to 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:07.880 you and your family was actually yours. So it was 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:13.800 decades going through the French court system. Everyone in the 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:18.199 family helped out with lawyers, fees. My grandma now says 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:21.520 that that's what gave gave her breast cancer. Just this 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:25.000 the stress, the stress, and that I guess the length 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:30.200 of that fight. And so like, my grandma's happy, you know, 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:33.280 she did it, she got a land back. She feels 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:38.440 like she's done something really special for her kids, but 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.320 also for you know, for for everyone in the family. 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.320 And I really think, I really think she has and 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:50.240 I think for for one person. It's kind of like 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.800 that David and Goliath battle, right, you know, to go 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:59.520 to go up against the court system, which I presume 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:04.280 would be pretty intimidating. But she, yeah, she did. It 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:06.360 took her decade though, it took her a really long time. 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:10.400 So are we're talking about like something that's worth a 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:13.640 shitload of money or is it not about the money, 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:17.520 It's about the thing that defines somebody, you know, like 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:19.200 if this is my land sort of thing you should 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.000 never have taken on the back, or. 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:22.920 Is it sort of something really really valuable? 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.760 You know what I think, if I'm to be honest, 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:34.280 I feel like if there was some economic benefit to 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:36.760 the French for having that land, So for example, if 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:42.040 there was you know, minerals underneath the land or all 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:44.199 of that type of stuff that we see play out 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:48.280 in Australia, I don't think it would have been as 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:52.760 as easy for my grandma to to win her land back. 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:58.920 But it wasn't you know, it wasn't agricultural land. There's 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:02.600 nothing there, just like a few you know, a few 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.200 palm trees and a few coconut trees and it's it's 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:09.360 a limestone at all, Like nothing grows there. So it's 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:15.199 pretty you know Barron in terms of it being not 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:19.120 really producing anything. But I think for my grandmother it 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.000 wasn't really about you know, winning this land back because 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:23.400 it was going to be at a certain value that 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.920 they could then sell and then split between the family. 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.480 It was she wanted it back because she felt that's 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:31.520 how she feels connected to her culture. 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:34.080 And so it's a matter of principle too. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:38.600 So yeah, so how how does that if I was 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.920 looking at by the ways, is your first name your 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.960 maid not your maid name, your Christian name or whatever 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.960 your first name is, I should say, is that a 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:48.840 Polynesian word? 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.400 Yeah? It is so Turia and it means goddess of 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:57.280 the ocean. Oh wow, but most Assies can't pronounce it, 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:01.920 so I just say Terria. That's fine, just to Rea. 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:04.440 But yeah, well done. 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.440 That's lovely, thank you, thank you very much. 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:12.400 And so therefore principles, because I always say, is about 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.960 my own kids, and I guess this applies to me too. 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.120 Is growing up whatever I was told is not something 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:22.360 that I really necessarily adopted or did. But generally speaking, 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:25.200 what we see is what we end up doing. So 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:28.000 what we see in our parents or our grandparents in 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.280 your case, your parents and grandparents. And what I saw 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:32.400 in my parents and grandparents for that matter, and what 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.640 my kids have seen in their father, I think largely 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:36.680 can represent how we. 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:37.440 Live our lives. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:42.080 So you saw your your grandmother and to a largely 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:46.280 sent to your mother too, never giving up on a principle. 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.520 How much of that is parleyed back into your life? 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:52.040 I think I think all of it. 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:52.520 Mark. 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:55.120 You know, you think about the journey that I've been on, 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:58.200 and I always hate using that word journey because it 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:02.960 feels so woo wo, But you know, the past, you know, 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:06.200 the past decade I was so, particularly in those early 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:14.120 years were really really fucking hard, and I I always 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:18.680 struggled to explain how I did it, and I think 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:21.560 it was every day I just got up and I 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:25.960 just kept going. And I think that's what my grandmother did. 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.320 And if I think about my mom, you know, having 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:32.280 full four kids, running a household, putting food on the 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:35.040 table every night, I had a dad as well, So 0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.040 I don't want to make out that my mom was sinking. Mom. 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:38.840 I had a dad. But this was back in the 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:42.000 nineties where you know, topics like the mental lid probably 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.560 weren't discussed as as regularly. They weren't really part of 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.960 our conversation. So Dad worked, Mum worked, but their mum 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.720 also did cooking, the cleaning, the running of the house. 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:55.400 So my mom did all of that, and then at night, 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.200 when all of us kids were asleep, she would find 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:00.920 this time to write on these books were inside of her. 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:03.840 So again I saw my mom every day just doing 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:08.240 those little steps, making those hard choices, not taking the 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:13.080 easy way out, having this really high expectation of herself. 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.800 And so I think all of those lessons and all 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:20.360 of those things I saw growing up formed the person 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:22.040 that I am today. 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:24.880 So when you were if I go back to when 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:28.320 you were a teenager, when did you sit in the 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:34.639 sibling tree, like in terms of I've got Genji the youngest, youngest, oldest, Genji's. 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:39.439 Eldest, then me, then Haimnu and then t Ricky, So. 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:41.920 You're sort of the second eldest. 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:43.520 Second eldest. Yeah, only girl. 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.880 So when you were growing up in your teenager period, 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:49.240 you were living so you're living down the South coast. 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:50.560 Then living in Alida. 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:51.800 Yeah, oh the whole time. 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:55.239 Okay, So just what we like as a student, like 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:58.840 we're into it, or didn't give a shit about school 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:00.880 or more interest in what was your deal? 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:06.280 Mark? I was a complete nerd. I loved school. I 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:15.200 loved the challenge. I loved applying myself. And I feel like, I, 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:17.560 you know, and this is such a this is such 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:21.760 a small memory. But you know when you're going for 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:25.200 those careers sessions and you tell your careers advice or 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:27.320 what subjects are you going to pick in your HSC? 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:29.800 And so I said, you know, I'm thinking about doing 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:33.879 physics and chemistry and maths. And he looked at me 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.080 and he said, I just don't think you're smart enough. 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:41.680 And I felt really demoralized in that moment. I went 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:44.240 home and I told I told my mom, and I 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:45.960 told my dad and I told my brothers, and I said, 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:47.880 oh no, no, the teachers don't think I'm smart enough. 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:52.959 And I remember my dad being completely outraged and he 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.280 was like, no, fuck him. He's he doesn't know who 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:57.920 you are. Like if you if you want it, if 0:18:57.960 --> 0:18:59.720 you want to do those subjects, you can do them, 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:02.119 but you've you're gonna have to work really really hard. 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.159 And so I ended up coming first in physics and 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:09.840 chemistry and maths. And maths extension. I won the math medal. 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:11.880 Wow, And it. 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:16.160 Was a real Yeah, it's a strong, it's a it's 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:19.560 a formative memory for me because it was it was 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:24.160 I guess, it was proof that no one else knows 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:27.800 what you're capable of. You know, no one else has 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:32.879 your has your wind, has your abilities, has your beliefs, 0:19:33.480 --> 0:19:36.520 and and and no one can tell you what what 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:39.520 is possible or what is not possible. And in that, 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:42.800 in that moment, I realized, well, even though people around 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:44.560 me told me that I wouldn't be able to do 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:47.600 those subjects, I fucking did them and I did really 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.439 well in them. So that that you know that that 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.200 was a little bit of proof for me in myself. 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:58.399 That's this sort of theme of self belief seems to 0:19:58.600 --> 0:20:02.000 sort of be strong in and again, I don't want 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:06.639 to diminish the effect of your father, but it seems 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:09.560 to be a strong theme between the women in your 0:20:09.560 --> 0:20:13.800 family grandmother, mother, and yourself like self belief to the 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:16.720 extent that you need to get a little bit of 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:18.359 a pick up every now and then, a little bit 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:19.200 of a lift. 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:19.879 From your dad. 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:24.640 Like as you said, he reacted strongly to the assertion 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.840 of the vocational guidance person where we call them careers 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:31.239 people telling you that you weren't good enough. But at 0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:32.280 the end of the day, it had to be your 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:36.000 self belief. It had to be Toria's self belief in 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.760 a self And I guess it probably gets influenced these 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:41.640 things that at least get influenced by what you saw 0:20:42.600 --> 0:20:45.040 prior to that, everything you saw prior to that. And 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:47.200 I presume we're talking about you about seventeen or eighteen 0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:49.800 at this time, but no, you know, when you had 0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:50.680 to go into your HC. 0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:52.359 Do you talk about the HRC now, aren't you? 0:20:53.040 --> 0:20:58.159 Yeah? I don't know what they call it these days, whatever. 0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:04.000 Called yeah your final year? Yeah, yeah, your final year though. 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:10.639 And the that self belief thing is something that I 0:21:10.680 --> 0:21:13.120 think forms in us when we're like from a young 0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:15.520 age like you, right from you know, ten to twelve 0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:19.800 right through and it's obviously stuck with you because clearly 0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:23.239 you know when you had when you went through that 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:26.040 tough period that in your life, you still have to 0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:29.280 have some self belief in yourself. That doesn't really matter. 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:30.520 At the end of the day, you got you know, 0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:33.680 you're responsible for yourself. You've got to get up yourself. 0:21:34.320 --> 0:21:35.920 People might help sort of, you know, give you a 0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:37.760 bit of encouragement stuff like that, but you know it's 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:39.360 up to you at the end of the day. It's 0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:41.600 just like when you did the year twelve or the 0:21:41.800 --> 0:21:44.159 last two years of school. It's your self belief to 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:46.800 do extension masks and do physics and all those other 0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:48.840 sciences and all those other things that you did and 0:21:48.920 --> 0:21:52.159 you did well in. But because it's not enough to 0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:54.000 believe yourself that you've got to do something, You've got 0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.440 to actually drive yourself to do the work. 0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:59.560 Yeah. Yeah, you can have all of the self belief 0:21:59.560 --> 0:22:03.200 in the world that you're going to do extremely well 0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:06.520 in a math test, but if you don't look at 0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:09.080 the notes, if you don't do any study, if you 0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:13.600 don't do anything, and you just loaf around the whole year, 0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:16.800 I don't know if that self belief is going to 0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:21.600 translate into a very good result. So I think you 0:22:21.640 --> 0:22:24.520 know you need obviously you need self belief, You need 0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:28.919 that that that desire to do well, right, because if 0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:30.560