1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,880
Speaker 1: Hi, my boris, and this is straight talk.

2
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,960
Speaker 2: I could just hear the fire coming closer and closer.

3
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:11,959
Speaker 2: My hands and arms they were on fire. I got

4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,440
Speaker 2: this huge rush of elation because I was still standing,

5
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,840
Speaker 2: still alive. Helicopter came and then I woke up a

6
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,560
Speaker 2: month later in a hospital in Sydney.

7
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,560
Speaker 1: Dory, Welcome to straight talk.

8
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,640
Speaker 2: Thank you, Mark, Thank you for having me.

9
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,040
Speaker 3: Just talking today, Tory, Like, what I'm getting from you

10
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,920
Speaker 3: is discipline, structure, self belief.

11
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,360
Speaker 1: A good support group is that what you want to

12
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:35,320
Speaker 1: leave people with.

13
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:39,360
Speaker 2: A Relationships are the most important thing. So maybe being

14
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,560
Speaker 2: a bit vulnerable and not being afraid to tell people

15
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,760
Speaker 2: how much they mean to you, because I know I

16
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,800
Speaker 2: was never good at that before this accident, and I've

17
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,960
Speaker 2: gotten so much better at letting people know how much

18
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:55,000
Speaker 2: they mean to me. I always struggled to explain how

19
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,960
Speaker 2: I did it, and I think it was every day

20
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,480
Speaker 2: I just got up and I just kept going.

21
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,240
Speaker 1: Dory bit, Welcome to straight talk.

22
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,679
Speaker 2: Thank you, Mark, Thank you for having me.

23
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,199
Speaker 1: Where am I? Where are you? Where are we talking

24
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:11,679
Speaker 1: to each other? From one riverside at.

25
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:17,039
Speaker 2: The moment, I'm in Aladullah, South Coast. I was going

26
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,880
Speaker 2: to say, God's caun't you? But then I thought, no,

27
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:20,240
Speaker 2: that's going to make me look like a bit of

28
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,840
Speaker 2: a bogain, So I won't say that, but.

29
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,720
Speaker 1: I said it. So I said it, so I looked

30
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:30,559
Speaker 1: like one exactly. Well. But by the way, happy birthday,

31
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 1: I think for tomorrow. Yeah, that's right.

32
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,640
Speaker 2: Birthday, Yes, thirty seven.

33
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:38,120
Speaker 1: Happy birthday?

34
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,559
Speaker 2: Thank you? How old? How old are you?

35
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:41,000
Speaker 3: Oh?

36
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,440
Speaker 1: My god, don't ask me how old?

37
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:42,720
Speaker 2: I have?

38
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:46,679
Speaker 1: Sixty eight, sixty eight, sixty nine? Next birthday?

39
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've lived a lot of life, and I know

40
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,360
Speaker 2: you've got lots of lessons of people totally, including melding.

41
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,680
Speaker 3: I guess I'm nearly double your age. I'm nearly double

42
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,160
Speaker 3: your age. How's the world treating you for at thirty seven?

43
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,320
Speaker 1: Hey you? Hey, you going?

44
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,200
Speaker 2: You know what, It's been pretty good. It's been really

45
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:08,200
Speaker 2: good so living. My husband's a helicopter pilot. We've got

46
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:12,919
Speaker 2: these two beautiful little boys doing a bit of work.

47
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,640
Speaker 2: Like I know you do a bit of speaking, Mark,

48
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:20,760
Speaker 2: so do I my running program writing. So all of

49
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,920
Speaker 2: that keeps me really busy, as well as my kids.

50
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,880
Speaker 2: I think, to summon up, life's pretty good.

51
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,440
Speaker 1: So you've just come back from Indo.

52
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I went to Indo and you commented on my

53
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,160
Speaker 2: surfing post, which I.

54
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,880
Speaker 3: Was really yeah, I did so, so I just look

55
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:37,240
Speaker 3: at my notes.

56
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,560
Speaker 1: I didn't realize this, but you're born in Tahiti before.

57
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:46,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, so my mom's tai Haitian, my dad's Australian. I

58
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,480
Speaker 2: was born in Tahiti and then I think I was

59
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,679
Speaker 2: I've got another brother, Genji, So I was around six months.

60
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,480
Speaker 2: They decided to move back to Australia, and I think

61
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:59,800
Speaker 2: they made that decision just for I think a better

62
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,959
Speaker 2: life for us kids. They thought they would have in Australia,

63
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,359
Speaker 2: Like you know, it's a bigger country, there's more opportunities.

64
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,040
Speaker 2: So yeah, we moved here when I was really little.

65
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,600
Speaker 2: But I've still got family all over there. And my

66
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:17,560
Speaker 2: mom has actually moved back to Tahiti. Now. She doesn't

67
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,160
Speaker 2: actually live in Tahiti. She lives on a different adult

68
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:25,760
Speaker 2: called Renguiaa. I went and visited her last year with

69
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:31,679
Speaker 2: the boys. She lives in a really remote spot. She's

70
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:37,080
Speaker 2: got no electricity, no water, living in a little hut,

71
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,320
Speaker 2: kind of like I suppose what people did back in

72
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,600
Speaker 2: the day, and she's so happy. I think it's the

73
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,080
Speaker 2: happiest I've ever seen her, which I think was a

74
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,440
Speaker 2: really good lesson for me because after a week there,

75
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,840
Speaker 2: I was so Boardmark. I was like, I want to go,

76
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,080
Speaker 2: Hime and get me out of Here's there's nothing to do.

77
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,600
Speaker 2: But I think it was a really good lesson because

78
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,600
Speaker 2: I think, particularly now in modern world, we're so busy,

79
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 2: we're always going, we always want to keep achieving and

80
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,160
Speaker 2: doing and being productive, and it was a really good

81
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,960
Speaker 2: insight into you know, whether that stuff, whether all that

82
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:16,599
Speaker 2: achieving and all that producing, actually makes us fulfilled and happy,

83
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,000
Speaker 2: or if whether we get that sense of happiness and

84
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,839
Speaker 2: purpose by connecting to our land, connecting to our culture,

85
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,880
Speaker 2: connecting to our family, looking after others, that type of

86
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,359
Speaker 2: thing that's interesting.

87
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,000
Speaker 1: You should say that.

88
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,720
Speaker 3: So maybe you could explain to me, because I'm not

89
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:38,559
Speaker 3: that familiar with Tahiti or Tahitian culture, or for that matter,

90
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,280
Speaker 3: Tahitians as such. I mean, it's, to be honest, a

91
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:47,000
Speaker 3: bit of a mystery to me. So Taititian people are

92
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,560
Speaker 3: I guess are Polynesian. Is that top Polynesian in terms

93
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,240
Speaker 3: of genetics.

94
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,080
Speaker 2: So they're Polynesian, So they're part of the Polynesian Triangle,

95
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,719
Speaker 2: which is from Hawaii to which is New Zealand, and

96
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:05,120
Speaker 2: then Rapuanui, which is Easter Island. So Polynesian people colonize

97
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:11,119
Speaker 2: the whole Pacific Ocean. Thousands and thousands of years ago Europeans,

98
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,760
Speaker 2: you know, discovered Polynesia, and so Tahiti was colonized by

99
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:21,440
Speaker 2: the French. So everyone speaks French over there, but they

100
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:26,040
Speaker 2: also still speak their traditional language, which is Tahitian. But

101
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,600
Speaker 2: where my mom lives, it's I don't even know how

102
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:33,960
Speaker 2: to say it right, it's poor motu. Don't know if

103
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,800
Speaker 2: I've said that right. So it's a slight variant to Tahitian.

104
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:41,320
Speaker 3: So your mom sounds like she's like full full on

105
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,320
Speaker 3: as a Tahitian. Is she Is she like full blooded Tahitian,

106
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,360
Speaker 3: No person by genetically.

107
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:53,480
Speaker 2: No, she's not full blooded genetically. And I think as

108
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:58,160
Speaker 2: well Mark, you know, with colonization, I'm not sure if

109
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,479
Speaker 2: many people would say that they're full blooded. And I

110
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:06,720
Speaker 2: think for a lot of people that question can come

111
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:11,360
Speaker 2: across as being a bit a little bit denigrating. Maybe,

112
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,760
Speaker 2: So she's not full blooded. Her mom is Tahitian. Well,

113
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,880
Speaker 2: her mom is from Ranguia and her dad is French.

114
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:24,000
Speaker 2: So her dad was a soldier who went to Tahiti,

115
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,800
Speaker 2: I think in the around in the seventies. But my

116
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,280
Speaker 2: mom grew up she never knew her dad. She never

117
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:30,880
Speaker 2: knew him.

118
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,600
Speaker 3: Because I'm trying to work out, I'm trying to see,

119
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,800
Speaker 3: look at the influences on yourself. Obviously, her parents are

120
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,599
Speaker 3: and always big influences on all of us, particularly mums.

121
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,480
Speaker 3: I'm talking about it in my case at least, because

122
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,800
Speaker 3: I can only talk about her survey one. That's me

123
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,800
Speaker 3: and my I guess my owin kids. But if your

124
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:57,840
Speaker 3: mom's influences are her mother and culturally Tahitian, especially given

125
00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:00,000
Speaker 3: what she's going to done now gone there to live there,

126
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:04,240
Speaker 3: and it sounds like like it's living off grid, how

127
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,240
Speaker 3: much of that is actually influenced you.

128
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,160
Speaker 2: I think a lot of it mark and growing up,

129
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,680
Speaker 2: you know, I would say that she was always so

130
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,240
Speaker 2: proud to be Tahitian. Her mom was a single mom,

131
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:22,600
Speaker 2: she raised four kids. She fought the French government for

132
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,120
Speaker 2: decades to get her traditional land back. So again in

133
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,000
Speaker 2: Australia may be a little bit like you know, land

134
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:34,160
Speaker 2: rights for our First Nations people. So my grandmother is

135
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:39,520
Speaker 2: incredibly strong and determined. My mom just as much. You know,

136
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,680
Speaker 2: she moved toward different countries, she didn't speak English. She

137
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,800
Speaker 2: ended up having four kids here. She wrote a best

138
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:50,040
Speaker 2: selling trilogy about life in Tahiti. She learned Tahitian as

139
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,400
Speaker 2: an adult because when my mom was growing up in Tahiti,

140
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:58,440
Speaker 2: no one spoke Tahitian. It was frowned upon, so everyone

141
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:03,280
Speaker 2: spoke French. And so as an older person, she's learned

142
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:08,080
Speaker 2: Tahiti and started reconnecting to her culture that way. So

143
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,760
Speaker 2: I think definitely there's a lot of influence on me.

144
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,440
Speaker 2: And even if you look at my kids' names, you know,

145
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:18,200
Speaker 2: hkaa Rahiti, both of those are Polynesian names. So it's

146
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,800
Speaker 2: something that I'm very, very proud of to be Polynesian.

147
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:27,520
Speaker 2: I don't speak Tahitian. I sound, you know, pretty Australian,

148
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,760
Speaker 2: my accents pretty strong, so I'm told. But I still

149
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,720
Speaker 2: think you can be connected to your culture even though

150
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,160
Speaker 2: you might not. You know, I never even lived in Tahiti.

151
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 2: I moved here when I was six months old, but

152
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 2: I still feel pretty connected to it.

153
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:47,160
Speaker 1: And then when you're this is about you, by the way,

154
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,320
Speaker 1: but I'm actually can tree about your mom. Now, your

155
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,679
Speaker 1: mum moved back to.

156
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,679
Speaker 3: Tahitian, back to this remote, more and more remote place,

157
00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:01,000
Speaker 3: and made a decision to sort of live this more

158
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,360
Speaker 3: natural life is probably better way, probably good way for

159
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:08,640
Speaker 3: me to describe it. What was her objective? I'm trying

160
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:09,080
Speaker 3: to achieve.

161
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and that's what all of us kids

162
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,520
Speaker 2: were doing, because no shit, when she first moved there,

163
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,920
Speaker 2: she was living in a tent like she wasn't it

164
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,480
Speaker 2: wasn't bougie, nothing about it was easier or nice. My

165
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,959
Speaker 2: mom is what like, maybe's close to sixty. Her mom

166
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:34,240
Speaker 2: is maybe eighty. So my grandma won her traditional land back,

167
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,440
Speaker 2: and my mom and my grandma went to the land

168
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,120
Speaker 2: set up tents and we're like, cool, we're here, this

169
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,959
Speaker 2: is our land, and we're going to turn it into something,

170
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,840
Speaker 2: you know, a little bit nicer or a little bit easier.

171
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,600
Speaker 2: So I think that might have been my mom's objective.

172
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:57,480
Speaker 2: I think she obviously wanted to reconnect to her culture.

173
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,880
Speaker 2: She really liked Australia. She always says it's given all

174
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,560
Speaker 2: of us kids such a great life, and that's that

175
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,360
Speaker 2: is true. But I think probably a part of her

176
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:12,800
Speaker 2: was always homesick when she was in Australia. So yeah, Mark,

177
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,400
Speaker 2: my mom is the most fascinating woman you would ever meet.

178
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:21,040
Speaker 2: She's so bad us and she's someone that decides she's

179
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,480
Speaker 2: going to do something and then she just goes and

180
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:28,040
Speaker 2: fucking does it. And I've always really admired that about

181
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,240
Speaker 2: my mom. And if you think about you know, when

182
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,960
Speaker 2: I was growing up, I had three brothers. My mom

183
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 2: worked full time and every night she would write, she

184
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,520
Speaker 2: would work on these books that she was writing, and

185
00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,120
Speaker 2: I just think the amount of self belief she had

186
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,000
Speaker 2: was amazing. I don't know if I've got that same

187
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,040
Speaker 2: amount of self belief.

188
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,520
Speaker 3: In no way, I want to ask more about your mom,

189
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,439
Speaker 3: because I actually think these things inform us, because these

190
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,240
Speaker 3: things inform us about ourselves. And I've been a big

191
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,559
Speaker 3: student of my own family, my own parents, and because

192
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 3: everything I do, I have to be honest, like pretty

193
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:11,920
Speaker 3: much most things that I initiate in my life have somewhere,

194
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,120
Speaker 3: somehow found their way into my life as a result

195
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:14,679
Speaker 3: of something my.

196
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,160
Speaker 1: Parents have done. Which is I.

197
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,079
Speaker 3: Feel like sometimes I've never had an original idea, and

198
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,240
Speaker 3: I think maybe that probably applies to most people who

199
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,160
Speaker 3: have had a nice, good relationship with their family. Probably

200
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,800
Speaker 3: people had bad relationships to the family to some extent

201
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,360
Speaker 3: of formed ideas as a result of the bad relationship too.

202
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,480
Speaker 3: So if your mum right now she's living sort of

203
00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,960
Speaker 3: on the land that her grandmother, sorry, your grandmother, her

204
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:39,760
Speaker 3: mother won back.

205
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,200
Speaker 1: How long a does your grandmother?

206
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,440
Speaker 3: How long did it take your grandmother to get this

207
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,400
Speaker 3: land back to her into her family.

208
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:51,040
Speaker 2: It took decades, Mark, it took decades and decades and decades,

209
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:56,439
Speaker 2: which is crazy. And I think the thing is, it's

210
00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:00,800
Speaker 2: wine buggling to me that you have to, you know,

211
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,400
Speaker 2: you've got to prove that something that always belonged to

212
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,880
Speaker 2: you and your family was actually yours. So it was

213
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:13,800
Speaker 2: decades going through the French court system. Everyone in the

214
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,199
Speaker 2: family helped out with lawyers, fees. My grandma now says

215
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 2: that that's what gave gave her breast cancer. Just this

216
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,000
Speaker 2: the stress, the stress, and that I guess the length

217
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:30,200
Speaker 2: of that fight. And so like, my grandma's happy, you know,

218
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,280
Speaker 2: she did it, she got a land back. She feels

219
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:38,440
Speaker 2: like she's done something really special for her kids, but

220
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,320
Speaker 2: also for you know, for for everyone in the family.

221
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,320
Speaker 2: And I really think, I really think she has and

222
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:50,240
Speaker 2: I think for for one person. It's kind of like

223
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,800
Speaker 2: that David and Goliath battle, right, you know, to go

224
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:59,520
Speaker 2: to go up against the court system, which I presume

225
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:04,280
Speaker 2: would be pretty intimidating. But she, yeah, she did. It

226
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,360
Speaker 2: took her decade though, it took her a really long time.

227
00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:10,400
Speaker 3: So are we're talking about like something that's worth a

228
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,640
Speaker 3: shitload of money or is it not about the money,

229
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,520
Speaker 3: It's about the thing that defines somebody, you know, like

230
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,200
Speaker 3: if this is my land sort of thing you should

231
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,000
Speaker 3: never have taken on the back, or.

232
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,920
Speaker 1: Is it sort of something really really valuable?

233
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,760
Speaker 2: You know what I think, if I'm to be honest,

234
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:34,280
Speaker 2: I feel like if there was some economic benefit to

235
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,760
Speaker 2: the French for having that land, So for example, if

236
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:42,040
Speaker 2: there was you know, minerals underneath the land or all

237
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,199
Speaker 2: of that type of stuff that we see play out

238
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,280
Speaker 2: in Australia, I don't think it would have been as

239
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,760
Speaker 2: as easy for my grandma to to win her land back.

240
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:58,920
Speaker 2: But it wasn't you know, it wasn't agricultural land. There's

241
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,600
Speaker 2: nothing there, just like a few you know, a few

242
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,200
Speaker 2: palm trees and a few coconut trees and it's it's

243
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,360
Speaker 2: a limestone at all, Like nothing grows there. So it's

244
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:15,199
Speaker 2: pretty you know Barron in terms of it being not

245
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:19,120
Speaker 2: really producing anything. But I think for my grandmother it

246
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,000
Speaker 2: wasn't really about you know, winning this land back because

247
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,400
Speaker 2: it was going to be at a certain value that

248
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,920
Speaker 2: they could then sell and then split between the family.

249
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,480
Speaker 2: It was she wanted it back because she felt that's

250
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,520
Speaker 2: how she feels connected to her culture.

251
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,080
Speaker 1: And so it's a matter of principle too.

252
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:38,600
Speaker 3: So yeah, so how how does that if I was

253
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,920
Speaker 3: looking at by the ways, is your first name your

254
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,960
Speaker 3: maid not your maid name, your Christian name or whatever

255
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,960
Speaker 3: your first name is, I should say, is that a

256
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,840
Speaker 3: Polynesian word?

257
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,400
Speaker 2: Yeah? It is so Turia and it means goddess of

258
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 2: the ocean. Oh wow, but most Assies can't pronounce it,

259
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:01,920
Speaker 2: so I just say Terria. That's fine, just to Rea.

260
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,440
Speaker 2: But yeah, well done.

261
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 1: That's lovely, thank you, thank you very much.

262
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:12,400
Speaker 3: And so therefore principles, because I always say, is about

263
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,960
Speaker 3: my own kids, and I guess this applies to me too.

264
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 3: Is growing up whatever I was told is not something

265
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,360
Speaker 3: that I really necessarily adopted or did. But generally speaking,

266
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,200
Speaker 3: what we see is what we end up doing. So

267
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,000
Speaker 3: what we see in our parents or our grandparents in

268
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,280
Speaker 3: your case, your parents and grandparents. And what I saw

269
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,400
Speaker 3: in my parents and grandparents for that matter, and what

270
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,640
Speaker 3: my kids have seen in their father, I think largely

271
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,680
Speaker 3: can represent how we.

272
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,440
Speaker 1: Live our lives.

273
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:42,080
Speaker 3: So you saw your your grandmother and to a largely

274
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,280
Speaker 3: sent to your mother too, never giving up on a principle.

275
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,520
Speaker 1: How much of that is parleyed back into your life?

276
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 2: I think I think all of it.

277
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:52,520
Speaker 3: Mark.

278
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 2: You know, you think about the journey that I've been on,

279
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,200
Speaker 2: and I always hate using that word journey because it

280
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,960
Speaker 2: feels so woo wo, But you know, the past, you know,

281
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 2: the past decade I was so, particularly in those early

282
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:14,120
Speaker 2: years were really really fucking hard, and I I always

283
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 2: struggled to explain how I did it, and I think

284
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,560
Speaker 2: it was every day I just got up and I

285
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 2: just kept going. And I think that's what my grandmother did.

286
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 2: And if I think about my mom, you know, having

287
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,280
Speaker 2: full four kids, running a household, putting food on the

288
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,040
Speaker 2: table every night, I had a dad as well, So

289
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,040
Speaker 2: I don't want to make out that my mom was sinking. Mom.

290
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:38,840
Speaker 2: I had a dad. But this was back in the

291
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,000
Speaker 2: nineties where you know, topics like the mental lid probably

292
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 2: weren't discussed as as regularly. They weren't really part of

293
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 2: our conversation. So Dad worked, Mum worked, but their mum

294
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 2: also did cooking, the cleaning, the running of the house.

295
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 2: So my mom did all of that, and then at night,

296
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 2: when all of us kids were asleep, she would find

297
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 2: this time to write on these books were inside of her.

298
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,840
Speaker 2: So again I saw my mom every day just doing

299
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 2: those little steps, making those hard choices, not taking the

300
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:13,080
Speaker 2: easy way out, having this really high expectation of herself.

301
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,800
Speaker 2: And so I think all of those lessons and all

302
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:20,360
Speaker 2: of those things I saw growing up formed the person

303
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 2: that I am today.

304
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,880
Speaker 3: So when you were if I go back to when

305
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 3: you were a teenager, when did you sit in the

306
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:34,639
Speaker 3: sibling tree, like in terms of I've got Genji the youngest, youngest, oldest, Genji's.

307
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:39,439
Speaker 2: Eldest, then me, then Haimnu and then t Ricky, So.

308
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 1: You're sort of the second eldest.

309
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 2: Second eldest. Yeah, only girl.

310
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,880
Speaker 3: So when you were growing up in your teenager period,

311
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,240
Speaker 3: you were living so you're living down the South coast.

312
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 2: Then living in Alida.

313
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:51,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh the whole time.

314
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,239
Speaker 3: Okay, So just what we like as a student, like

315
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,840
Speaker 3: we're into it, or didn't give a shit about school

316
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,880
Speaker 3: or more interest in what was your deal?

317
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 2: Mark? I was a complete nerd. I loved school. I

318
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:15,200
Speaker 2: loved the challenge. I loved applying myself. And I feel like, I,

319
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,560
Speaker 2: you know, and this is such a this is such

320
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 2: a small memory. But you know when you're going for

321
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 2: those careers sessions and you tell your careers advice or

322
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 2: what subjects are you going to pick in your HSC?

323
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 2: And so I said, you know, I'm thinking about doing

324
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,879
Speaker 2: physics and chemistry and maths. And he looked at me

325
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 2: and he said, I just don't think you're smart enough.

326
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,680
Speaker 2: And I felt really demoralized in that moment. I went

327
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 2: home and I told I told my mom, and I

328
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 2: told my dad and I told my brothers, and I said,

329
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 2: oh no, no, the teachers don't think I'm smart enough.

330
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,959
Speaker 2: And I remember my dad being completely outraged and he

331
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 2: was like, no, fuck him. He's he doesn't know who

332
00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,920
Speaker 2: you are. Like if you if you want it, if

333
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 2: you want to do those subjects, you can do them,

334
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,119
Speaker 2: but you've you're gonna have to work really really hard.

335
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 2: And so I ended up coming first in physics and

336
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 2: chemistry and maths. And maths extension. I won the math medal.

337
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,880
Speaker 1: Wow, And it.

338
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 2: Was a real Yeah, it's a strong, it's a it's

339
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,560
Speaker 2: a formative memory for me because it was it was

340
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 2: I guess, it was proof that no one else knows

341
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 2: what you're capable of. You know, no one else has

342
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:32,879
Speaker 2: your has your wind, has your abilities, has your beliefs,

343
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 2: and and and no one can tell you what what

344
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 2: is possible or what is not possible. And in that,

345
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 2: in that moment, I realized, well, even though people around

346
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 2: me told me that I wouldn't be able to do

347
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 2: those subjects, I fucking did them and I did really

348
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,439
Speaker 2: well in them. So that that you know that that

349
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 2: was a little bit of proof for me in myself.

350
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 3: That's this sort of theme of self belief seems to

351
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 3: sort of be strong in and again, I don't want

352
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 3: to diminish the effect of your father, but it seems

353
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 3: to be a strong theme between the women in your

354
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 3: family grandmother, mother, and yourself like self belief to the

355
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 3: extent that you need to get a little bit of

356
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 3: a pick up every now and then, a little bit

357
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 3: of a lift.

358
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 1: From your dad.

359
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:24,640
Speaker 3: Like as you said, he reacted strongly to the assertion

360
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 3: of the vocational guidance person where we call them careers

361
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,239
Speaker 3: people telling you that you weren't good enough. But at

362
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 3: the end of the day, it had to be your

363
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 3: self belief. It had to be Toria's self belief in

364
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 3: a self And I guess it probably gets influenced these

365
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,640
Speaker 3: things that at least get influenced by what you saw

366
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 3: prior to that, everything you saw prior to that. And

367
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 3: I presume we're talking about you about seventeen or eighteen

368
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 3: at this time, but no, you know, when you had

369
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 3: to go into your HC.

370
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: Do you talk about the HRC now, aren't you?

371
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:58,159
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't know what they call it these days, whatever.

372
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 1: Called yeah your final year? Yeah, yeah, your final year though.

373
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 3: And the that self belief thing is something that I

374
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,120
Speaker 3: think forms in us when we're like from a young

375
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 3: age like you, right from you know, ten to twelve

376
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 3: right through and it's obviously stuck with you because clearly

377
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,239
Speaker 3: you know when you had when you went through that

378
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 3: tough period that in your life, you still have to

379
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 3: have some self belief in yourself. That doesn't really matter.

380
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, you got you know,

381
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 3: you're responsible for yourself. You've got to get up yourself.

382
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 3: People might help sort of, you know, give you a

383
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 3: bit of encouragement stuff like that, but you know it's

384
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 3: up to you at the end of the day. It's

385
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 3: just like when you did the year twelve or the

386
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,159
Speaker 3: last two years of school. It's your self belief to

387
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 3: do extension masks and do physics and all those other

388
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 3: sciences and all those other things that you did and

389
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 3: you did well in. But because it's not enough to

390
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 3: believe yourself that you've got to do something, You've got

391
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 3: to actually drive yourself to do the work.

392
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you can have all of the self belief

393
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 2: in the world that you're going to do extremely well

394
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 2: in a math test, but if you don't look at

395
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: the notes, if you don't do any study, if you

396
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 2: don't do anything, and you just loaf around the whole year,

397
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if that self belief is going to

398
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 2: translate into a very good result. So I think you

399
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: know you need obviously you need self belief, You need

400
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 2: that that that desire to do well, right, because if

401
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 2: you don't want to do well in what you're doing,

402
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 2: or if you you know, whether that's in your work

403
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 2: or in your relationship or whatever it is, if you

404
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 2: don't want to do well, you won't be able to right.

405
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 2: So you need that. I think you need that desire

406
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 2: to do well. But I also think you do need

407
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 2: people around you. I think, I really think you need

408
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 2: a support system because I could have had all of

409
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 2: the self belief in the world, but in hospital, if

410
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 2: no one came to visit me, if my mom didn't

411
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 2: bring me meals, if my boyfriend at the time, Wiker,

412
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 2: wasn't there every day. You know, if you don't have

413
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 2: those people in your corner, I think that would be

414
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 2: really difficult as well to do well or to exceed expectations.

415
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 1: Because it's interesting, You're right.

416
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 3: Self belief it's an important greeting, it's a necessary ingrediing,

417
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,959
Speaker 3: but it's not sufficient to succeed at whatever is you're

418
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 3: trying to achieve.

419
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 1: And then I even.

420
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 3: If I just look at your year twelve period, it's

421
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 3: not enough to be someone who believes in the self

422
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 3: and the outcomes that you want to. But you have

423
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,239
Speaker 3: to have a sort of a structured life. I mean,

424
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 3: you have to get up at a certain time. You

425
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 3: have to you know, if you're doing extension maths, you

426
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 3: have to go to extra classes which probably started at

427
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 3: seven in the morning or seven thirty in the morning.

428
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 3: Some people may have tutors, but at least the schools

429
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 3: most of them put in an extra class for those

430
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 3: extension maths kids and etc. And you have to be

431
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,159
Speaker 3: the sort of kid who can get up and get

432
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 3: dressed and have breakfast and go to do the thing,

433
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 3: and you have to do the homework around it.

434
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 1: So where did this structured bit come from?

435
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 3: That let's call it discipline structure in your life, because

436
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 3: you know, it's all very well to be motivated, but

437
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, it's discipline.

438
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: That succeeds, you know.

439
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 2: And you.

440
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 1: We'll just talk a little bit later. I'd like to

441
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: park the.

442
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 3: Support system that we all need to have to I think,

443
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 3: because unfortunately some people do not ever get a support system.

444
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 1: But I want to talk about that in a minute.

445
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: I'll park that for a moment.

446
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 3: But this structured process, this process of being able to

447
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 3: structure yourself and discipline yourself to actually execute on that structure,

448
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 3: where that come from?

449
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 2: I don't know, Mark, I don't actually know. I'm a

450
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 2: very logical person, you know, I eventually became an engineer,

451
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 2: So I think I just I just I just really

452
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 2: liked it. I liked having a structure. I liked having

453
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 2: I liked being able to show up. I liked being

454
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 2: at my class, you know, prepared, being able to put

455
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 2: my best foot forward. I liked having the right pencils.

456
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 2: You know, some kids would walk in and they'd have

457
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 2: a you know, kaok, they'd have a purple pencil or

458
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 2: are I like to have the right pencil for the

459
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 2: class that I was in, Because I think if you

460
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: or all of those little things right, it's just like

461
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 2: they're so easy. It's easy to do. Like it's easy

462
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 2: to have the right materials for the class. Like, that's

463
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 2: not hard. You don't need anything special to be able

464
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 2: to do that. You don't need to be smart. You

465
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 2: just need to make sure you have the right pencils

466
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 2: for the class, have your notes that are for that class. Again,

467
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 2: that's easy to do. You pack them in your bag.

468
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 2: And I keep saying it it's easy to do, and

469
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 2: maybe it was just easy for me to do. And

470
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 2: I also want to say, you know, I didn't. I

471
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 2: was liking that how my brain works, the structure that

472
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 2: schools are and my brain work really well together, or

473
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 2: at least they did when I went through school, and

474
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 2: I know, if you're neurodivergent or you know, even if

475
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 2: you're a kid, if you're a kid and you don't

476
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 2: have a safe place to sleep at night, and you're

477
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,640
Speaker 2: waking up in the morning and there's no food for breakfast,

478
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 2: it's it's going to be really hard for you to

479
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 2: have all your stuff squared away, isn't it for the

480
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 2: maths class that you're doing later that day? Like that's

481
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 2: that's not even on your priorities list. So I think

482
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 2: just want to call out that I was. I was

483
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 2: able to put my best foot forward because I had

484
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 2: all of that stuff. I had a safe space to sleep,

485
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 2: I had a you know, a relatively straightforward relationship with

486
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 2: my family. There was food on the table, We had electricity, like,

487
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 2: we had all of those basic things which made it

488
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 2: easier for me to be able to go, yep, I'm

489
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 2: going to have the right pencils for this class.

490
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: It's very interesting.

491
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 3: So you mentioned earlier on right at the very beginning,

492
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,880
Speaker 3: you said you were a new I'm always curious when

493
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 3: someone says that, because I was a bit of a

494
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 3: nerd at school too. But being a nerd doesn't mean

495
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 3: I didn't get up to mischief because I did. But

496
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 3: at the same time, when it comes to my school work,

497
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 3: I was nerdy, and what I mean by nerdy and

498
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,719
Speaker 3: I'd like to know what you mean by nerdy?

499
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,159
Speaker 1: It just doesn't matter what I mean by nerdy. I

500
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: don't you know what you mean by nerdy?

501
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 3: Do you mean that you were actually very curious about

502
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:28,360
Speaker 3: the topics that you were studying and actually loved it,

503
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 3: loved maths, loved physics, or you were nerdy in the

504
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: extent that you just did anything you had to do,

505
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 3: no curiosity.

506
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 2: And I genuinely loved it. I genuinely loved it. So again,

507
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 2: I think that's part of that, that desire to learn

508
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,879
Speaker 2: about the subject, Right, I was invested in it. I

509
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 2: wanted to learn about it. I was curious about it.

510
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 2: I probably drive some of my teachers up the wall

511
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 2: with my incessant questioning about things. So I genuinely loved it,

512
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 2: even like I found an afternoon doing calculus, I found

513
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 2: it relaxing. I found it so I found it a

514
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 2: great a great way to spend my time. So that

515
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 2: I think that obviously helps. Right, if you're if you're

516
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 2: liking what you're doing, or you're interested in it, or

517
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 2: you're curious about it, it's going to be easier to

518
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 2: develop that discipline to do it right. Whereas if it's

519
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 2: something that you're knowledgested about, couldn't give a shit about,

520
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,439
Speaker 2: I don't want to know about. To strap yourself to

521
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 2: your desk for a couple of hours and learn about it.

522
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 2: I think that's going to be really really hard for

523
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 2: you to do.

524
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 3: You're a bright person of me, and so I don't

525
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 3: want to look like I'm getting too deep into the

526
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 3: weeds here. But if I might just put this to you,

527
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 3: because you're making me think about my own school journey

528
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 3: as well.

529
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 1: Was it the chemical do you think it was in hindsight?

530
00:28:58,960 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: Do you think it was the.

531
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 3: Reward of or was the brain rewarding with a release

532
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 3: of chemicals for you getting things right? That actually was

533
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 3: a thing that makes you become really let's call it

534
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 3: like addicted in a good way, addicted to hard work

535
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 3: and curiosity, because for me it was always like I

536
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 3: used to get an adrenaline rush or a rush when

537
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 3: I calculated something correctly, and particularly if it was difficult,

538
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 3: and particularly if other kids my peers might have been

539
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 3: having some difficulty with it, just getting the outcome correct

540
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 3: or doing well in an exam, et cetera. I used

541
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 3: to get a bit of a bit of a hit,

542
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 3: a bit of a rush from that, and then over

543
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,239
Speaker 3: time I didn't realize it any time, but yeah, it

544
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 3: was good. Yeah, I am dopamin and serotonin hits, Like

545
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 3: it's just hormonal releases that your brain is giving you

546
00:29:56,040 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 3: as a reward for achieving an outcome. So achievement was

547
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 3: a driver for me, and I didn't positively think about that.

548
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 3: So was that something for you?

549
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: Was that or was.

550
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 3: It is just your academic nerdness? If there's such a

551
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 3: word that was driving you?

552
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: What was really driving you? Deep down? What do you

553
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:18,719
Speaker 1: think it really was?

554
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,959
Speaker 2: What was driving me? I wanted to I wanted to

555
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 2: prove to people that I was, that I was smart.

556
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 2: I wanted I obviously my brain obviously liked those little

557
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,719
Speaker 2: hits of dopamine and serotonin. So I liked that. You know,

558
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 2: when you work out a difficult maths problem, that that

559
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 2: that smug sense of satisfaction you get, like that's pretty

560
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: fucking good. Not there's not many things that that. Well,

561
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 2: Probably much I've done, really big, you've done lots of

562
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 2: big deals, so you're probably thinking, yeah, there's heaps of

563
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 2: stuff that beats out, but you know that that is

564
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 2: an amazing feeling when you work out something that's really difficult,

565
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 2: and probably that you know that that academic nerdness, as

566
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 2: you so eloquently put it before. I think maybe all

567
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 2: of the above.

568
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 3: How about because one of the big drivers for me

569
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 3: too was I used to like to please my parents.

570
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 3: I used to like coming home with, you know, a

571
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 3: good report card. That was a big deal for me.

572
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 1: I don't know why.

573
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 3: I wasn't a goodie two shoes by no stretch of imagination,

574
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 3: especially when I went to school. Yeah, I mean, was

575
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 3: that sense of people big?

576
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: Probably Mark, And I think maybe it was a bit,

577
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 2: a little bit to my detriment because my brother was

578
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: a really, really good surfer growing up, so he had

579
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 2: lots of my parents' time and attention, which I didn't

580
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 2: articulate at the time, but resented him because you know,

581
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 2: all of our spare money would go into his his

582
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 2: his surfing career. And I realized that through achievements in academia,

583
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 2: I also got some time and attention from my parents.

584
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: And when I say my parents I'm mainly meeting my dad,

585
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 2: but also my dad had really high expectations of me.

586
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 2: So I remember once I got, you know, ninety seven

587
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: percent on a math's extension exam, and my dad, instead

588
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 2: of being happy, he said, well, he said, well, why

589
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: wasn't it. Why wasn't it a hundred? You know? And

590
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 2: I think the next time I did get one hundred percent.

591
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 2: So it's kind of hard for me to talk about.

592
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 2: And you know, I'm not trying not to denigrate my dad,

593
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 2: because of course I love him, but it was, you know,

594
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 2: he had really high expectations for me. I don't know

595
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 2: if that was just what, you know, the style of

596
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: parenting that he learned from his parents as well.

597
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 3: But do you think that to some extent was maybe

598
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 3: a good thing in any event, because it gave you

599
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 3: a high barble chief, I mean, may perhaps if it

600
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 3: wasn't there, you might not have actually pushed that hard.

601
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's what I don't That's what I get

602
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 2: confused about myself. But I don't know if it made

603
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: If I reflect on that last year of school, all

604
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 2: of that achievement, all of that hustling, all of that grinding,

605
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 2: all of those late nights. I can't say I was

606
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 2: very happy. You know, it wasn't a fulfilling year for me.

607
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 2: But I also think when you're working really hard on

608
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: a goal, you're not going to be happy all of

609
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: the time, right, You're going to be stressed, annoyed, tired, cranky,

610
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 2: pissed off because stuff's not going your way sometimes. So

611
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 2: I don't I don't. I don't know if happiness is

612
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 2: the end goal. And I don't know if you can,

613
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 2: at least for me, I don't know if you can

614
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 2: be you know, happy with what you've got, grateful for

615
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 2: your life, in that sort of reflective mode, and simultaneously

616
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 2: really working hard towards something. I don't know that.

617
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: It's very insightful. That's very insightful.

618
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 3: Like it's funny, you should say, because and i'd like

619
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 3: to know what you think about this. But I have

620
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 3: a concept in my life which you know, take me

621
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 3: sixty eight years to develop it, but it's called It's

622
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 3: not happiness as such. It's about peacefulness is probably the

623
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 3: most important thing. But on that happy, on that, on

624
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 3: on the h level, it's about happy enough. And I

625
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 3: think that you need to just need to be in

626
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 3: like to know what you think about it. So, I

627
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 3: just like to be happy enough in the in the

628
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,479
Speaker 3: pursuit of what I'm doing at any one particular time,

629
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 3: knowing well that quite well that there's going to during

630
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 3: that pursuit there's going to be periods where I'm not

631
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 3: going to be feeling great. I mean, you know, then

632
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 3: the world of an entrepreneur, the world of a startup,

633
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 3: et cetera. That's that's your world. It's it's a shitty world.

634
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 3: But you have moments of highs, and you have lots more,

635
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 3: many more moments of lows. But if you can manage

636
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 3: to have an attitude of I'm happy enough, then you

637
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 3: can get through it. Now, what do you think about

638
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 3: that as a concept, Because you've obviously been challenged a

639
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:25,760
Speaker 3: lot in your life.

640
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: So is happy enough probably where you need to be?

641
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so. And I think there's so much

642
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 2: focus on being happy all of the time. And I

643
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 2: think that's part of our you know, I think our

644
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,760
Speaker 2: culture these days, it's it's a bit of a culture

645
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 2: of this fake positivity, right this, you know, like everything's

646
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 2: all rainbows and butterflies or you're almost it's almost like

647
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 2: you're not allowed to articulate that you're stressed, are you sad,

648
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 2: or you're going through something tough, are feeling anxious? And

649
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 2: I think most of us we want to feel all

650
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 2: those good positive emotions, right like being happy, excited, enthusiastic.

651
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 2: But I don't think that's reflective of normal life. And

652
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 2: I think just as we feel, you know, happy and

653
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 2: excited and energetic and motivated, it's going to swing the

654
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 2: other way at some points and we're going to wake

655
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 2: up irritated, stressed, annoyed at our partner, you know, cranky.

656
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: You know, if in your case market you're working with

657
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 2: startups and things like that, there's going to be shit

658
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: that happens which really really annoys you, really gets to you.

659
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 2: So I do really like your how you look at

660
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 2: it as being happy enough.

661
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 3: I guess post your year twelve, the next the next

662
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 3: stage of life is as a university student, you did engineering?

663
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 1: Which which engineering you do? Which? Which facet of engineering

664
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: did you do?

665
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 2: Did mining engineering?

666
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: Why? Mining engineering? Why did you choose that?

667
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 2: Why did I choose mining? I looked up some mining

668
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 2: blasts on the internet on YouTube, and I thought, wow,

669
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 2: that looks really that looks really cool. That looks that

670
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: looks that looks awesome.

671
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 1: As in like you just went on YouTube and you

672
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:15,319
Speaker 1: looked up.

673
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 2: Like so when they're like when they're mining coal, for example,

674
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 2: they'll blast that top layer they call it the overburden.

675
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: They blast that so they can remove it away with

676
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 2: with diggers and trucks and what's left behind is like

677
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 2: the scene of coals.

678
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 1: To do mining engineering, I just thought it was cool.

679
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 2: I was also like, it's been a little bit flexible

680
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 2: right those first couple of years. I thought I could

681
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 2: do mining, but if it doesn't work out, I could

682
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 2: do something else.

683
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 1: So you graduated as a mining engineer.

684
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, so engineering is a very male dominated industry. So

685
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 2: I think when I graduated as a mining engineer, there

686
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 2: was like five girls in my class and about you know,

687
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 2: fifty boys.

688
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: And did you manage to get a job in mining?

689
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? I got a really really great you know, when

690
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 2: you finish Uni, there's all of these graduate positions that

691
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: go out and I got a really one one that

692
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 2: was held in high regard because I was, you know,

693
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: I was still a nerd at university as well. So

694
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 2: I got this job in Karanara, in the Kimberly region

695
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 2: of Australia at the Agile Diamond Wine, which was I

696
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 2: don't know if it still is, but it was operated

697
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 2: by Rio Tinto.

698
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 3: Yeah that's where the pink diamonds.

699
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 2: The pink diamonds. Yeah, that's right.

700
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,319
Speaker 1: And how long did you work in mining for?

701
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 2: You know, I only got to work in mining for

702
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 2: nine months. Then I entered that Ultra marathon, which you know,

703
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 2: drastically changed the course of my life.

704
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,280
Speaker 3: Can you tell me about the ultramarathon. Why you've decided

705
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 3: to enter my ultra marathon? What?

706
00:38:58,600 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: What was the deal?

707
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,720
Speaker 2: I think it's just I like, you know, maybe it's

708
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 2: evident from my life so far, but I like challenges.

709
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,280
Speaker 2: You know. I did winning engineering, which was quite maldominated.

710
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 2: I loved running. When I was in Kananara, I was

711
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:17,839
Speaker 2: away from the surf, so I just, you know, kept

712
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 2: kept running and kept running a little bit more. There

713
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 2: was like a local half marathon which I won, and

714
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 2: then I did this Ultra Ultra marathon and I emailed

715
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: them about it, and then they came back with the

716
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 2: registration fee and I thought, no, that's a rip off,

717
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 2: that's too expensive. You know, I'll look at something later.

718
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 2: And they emailed me, you know, I think maybe twelve

719
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 2: twelve days before the race, and they said, oh, we've

720
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,479
Speaker 2: got a couple of free entry spots, would you like one?

721
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: So I thought, yeah, cool, that sounds good. No worries.

722
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 2: Entered the ultra marathon really excited at the start of

723
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 2: the race, you know, feeling excited, feeling nervous, feeling a

724
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 2: little bit anxious. And I only got a So this

725
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 2: ultra marathon was one hundred kilometers. I got about twenty

726
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 2: five kilometers into the race and I just passed another checkpoint.

727
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 2: So when you do an ultra marathon, they have things

728
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: called checkpoints at you know, maybe ten or fifteen k's

729
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 2: through the race for everyone to check in and make

730
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 2: sure everyone's going okay. So we'd all passed the second checkpoint,

731
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,240
Speaker 2: and I say we because there was there was five

732
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 2: I think five other people who were with me on

733
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 2: that day. We were at the bottom of a gorge

734
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 2: and we could see fire fastly approaching. Now we had

735
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 2: two choices marked, so we could go back the way

736
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: that we'd come, but there was really dry spin effects

737
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: up to about my shoulder, so you know, perfect fuel

738
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 2: for the fire. Our other choice was to run up

739
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 2: the side of the gorge, which had less vegetation, so

740
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 2: less feel for the fire, but fire goes faster going uphill,

741
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:11,240
Speaker 2: So those were our options in that moment. At that time,

742
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:13,919
Speaker 2: we all decided to run up the side of the hill,

743
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,280
Speaker 2: tried to cover ourselves, you know, in amongst the rocks.

744
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,760
Speaker 2: I could just hear the fire coming closer and closer

745
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 2: and closer. It was, of course extremely hot for me,

746
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 2: and I just remember like looking down at my hands

747
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 2: and arms and they were aflame, they were on fire.

748
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 2: And in that moment I thought about one person. I

749
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 2: thought about my boyfriend, my boyfriend at the time, Michael.

750
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 2: I think we'd only been together for like a year

751
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 2: and a half at that stage, and I thought about,

752
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 2: you know, when you're a young person and you fall

753
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 2: in love, you have all of these hopes and dreams

754
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 2: with this person that you've fallen in love with. I

755
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:07,720
Speaker 2: just remember thinking how how unfair it was that Michael

756
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't be able to, you know, lived this life,

757
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 2: live this life of adventure that we that we talked

758
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 2: about and that we'd planned. Now the fire passed side.

759
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 2: I don't actually know how long it was around for

760
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 2: how long I was burning for might have been five seconds,

761
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 2: might have been a minute, I don't know, but it

762
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 2: moved through us, and I remember I got this huge

763
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 2: rush of elation because I was still standing, still alive,

764
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 2: and I thought, fuck, I've done it, Like I've survived.

765
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 2: This is amazing. Now. He ended up having to wait

766
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 2: four hours on that hillside, on that side of the

767
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 2: gorge for help, yeah to arrive. I wasn't very lucid

768
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 2: at the time, didn't know what was going on. Helicopter

769
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 2: came and picked us up, took us to the local

770
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,360
Speaker 2: hospital and kind of I I remember saying to the nurses,

771
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 2: can someone just please call my boyfriend because he's going

772
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 2: to be worried about me? And then I woke up

773
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 2: a month later in a hospital in Sydney, and I

774
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 2: always get asked, like, you know it was it was

775
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 2: the fire? Painful? Was it scary? And like, yes, it

776
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 2: was painful, Yes it was scary. But at the same time,

777
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 2: I think your your body's protective mechanisms kick into play.

778
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: So I had all of this, you know, adrenaline surging,

779
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 2: and for me, I had no concept of time on

780
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 2: that day, didn't really know what was going on, and

781
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 2: so I always say like yes, it was painful, Yes

782
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:47,280
Speaker 2: it was scary. But for me, the real work the

783
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 2: biggest challenge of my life so far, and I really

784
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 2: hope it is it is the biggest challenge of my

785
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 2: life because it was it was really bloody. Big was

786
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 2: when I woke up in hospital and I had to

787
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:05,800
Speaker 2: go through that process of rehabilitating my life, rehabilitating myself

788
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 2: and my body.

789
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 3: That's pretty crazy sort of.

790
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: The rehabilitation process, which we'll talk to you about it.

791
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 3: But is it because you're in a coma for that

792
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 3: period or is it in duced come or did your

793
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 3: body just go and or coma?

794
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 2: So they put you into an induced coma so they

795
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 2: you know, they're doing operations on you while you're asleep,

796
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 2: doing skin grafts and all types. I was burnt to

797
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:35,760
Speaker 2: sixty five percent of my body, so that's a pretty

798
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 2: large surface area. So they put you in an induced coma,

799
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,959
Speaker 2: I think, so you're not in an excruciating amount of pain,

800
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 2: I suppose, and so that they can carry on and

801
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 2: do the work that they that they the doctors and

802
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,240
Speaker 2: the surgeons and all of you know, the medical stuff,

803
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:57,319
Speaker 2: do all of the work that they need to do

804
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 2: to be able to save say, of your life. And

805
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 2: then I think when everything's looking a little bit, the

806
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 2: outcome is looking a little bit better, and that you know,

807
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,800
Speaker 2: you're alive, and they think they've saved your life, and

808
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 2: you're you're good, you're good to go for one of

809
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: a better phrase. They pull you out of the induced.

810
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 3: Coma, and what was the first thing you remember when

811
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 3: you I mean, I don't know how this works, but

812
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 3: do you actually just wake up in the hospital somewhere

813
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 3: in Sydney or something, and then you look around and

814
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 3: is there someone there in front of you?

815
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 1: And what was the first thing you saw?

816
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 2: Yeah? You know what. The first memory I have is

817
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 2: of my my boyfriend Michael. You know, he's looking at

818
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 2: me in my eyes and he's like, terree, my darling,

819
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 2: you're alive. Like so, you know, I could see in

820
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 2: his face he was overjoyed that I was still on

821
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 2: this planet, you know he was he was so so

822
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 2: happy that I was still there. And I was in

823
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 2: so much pain. I was in so much like physical

824
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 2: physical pain that I was like, no, I'm actually not

825
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 2: happy to be you know. I couldn't talk at the time,

826
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 2: but that's what I was thinking, like, I'm not actually

827
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 2: happy to be alive. I don't want to be here,

828
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 2: and I didn't realize the extent of my injuries at

829
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 2: the time. It was just because you know, if you

830
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 2: talk to any burns patient, pain and you know, maybe

831
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 2: this isn't just reserved for people in the burns unit,

832
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:34,760
Speaker 2: but for a burns patient, pain is an essential element

833
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 2: of your day to day for you know, if you've

834
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 2: got a big burn like me for months.

835
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 3: So it's very hard for me to understand for obvious

836
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,879
Speaker 3: reasons because I haven't experienced it. But I'm just going

837
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 3: what you're saying, but I'm trying to imagine it, which

838
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 3: is virtually impossible to do. I think I might can

839
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 3: empathize with it, but that's sort.

840
00:46:58,760 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: Of not real.

841
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 3: When you say the pain for the that you were

842
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 3: feeling when you first woke up and you're saying to

843
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:06,720
Speaker 3: yourself like, I'm not really.

844
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: Happy to not that happy to be here.

845
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 3: Is that as a result of you thinking yourself, I'd

846
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 3: rather not put up with this pain, therefore not exist anymore.

847
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 1: Is that actually a full process?

848
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 2: I don't know, and I don't know, like, have you

849
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 2: ever been so sick, mark or like so physically unwell

850
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 2: that that sounds of bit grim, but like you almost

851
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 2: wish you were dead, Like if you're like violently ill,

852
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 2: has that ever happened to you? Or you know, it

853
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 2: doesn't happen to people.

854
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 3: Like Mark thankfully no, thankfully no, Or if it has happened,

855
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 3: maybe my brain is eliminated out of my.

856
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 1: Head over the years.

857
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 3: I mean, I've had some terrible accidents in my life,

858
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 3: but you know, I don't think I've ever thought that,

859
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 3: so therefore I haven't been at that chronic point.

860
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. So is even just like even even breathing with

861
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 2: the ventilator, you know, my ribs expanding and contracting, that

862
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 2: was painful, like the process of just breathing. So it

863
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,320
Speaker 2: was just I was in my whole my whole world

864
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,240
Speaker 2: was just blinding pain.

865
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 3: How long did you experience this extraordinary painful Yeah?

866
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it was there a point in which it

867
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 1: started going I should have feel a bit better.

868
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it does. It does go like that, you

869
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 2: do start to feel you know. So that was obviously

870
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 2: in the earlier days, and as the months progressed, I

871
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 2: started to feel less pain and then they you know,

872
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 2: they they wean you off the pain meds. So there's

873
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 2: that kind of balance to consider as well. But the

874
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 2: you know, because I've got such a big burn, one

875
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,239
Speaker 2: of the you know, but one of the things I

876
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 2: have to do every day is I have to change

877
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 2: ad bandages. Right So, because I had such a big

878
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 2: burn sixty five percent of my body, this process of

879
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 2: changing my bandages would go like no ship for hours

880
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 2: and hours and hours, and I would get so anxious.

881
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 2: I'd been such turmoil thinking about this excruciating bandage change

882
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 2: that I would have to have the next morning. I

883
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 2: would lie awake at night, I'd be I would be,

884
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 2: I would be, you know, sweating thinking about this this

885
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 2: pain that I was going to have to endure the

886
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 2: next day. And I got really lucky in hospital that

887
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 2: you know, I had an amazing medical team and one

888
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 2: of the nurses, you know, I came into my room

889
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 2: one day she said, look, we've got to watch a

890
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 2: Ted talk. I waited to watch this Ted talk by

891
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:46,359
Speaker 2: this guy called Dan Ariali. He's a I think he's

892
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 2: a psychologist, but he's also a burned survivor. So we

893
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 2: watched this Ted talk. I learn a little bit about

894
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,280
Speaker 2: his you know, he did some studies on pain. Basically,

895
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 2: what I got out of it is that if you

896
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 2: start with the most painful area first, and you progress

897
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 2: through the dressing to the areas that are less painful,

898
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:10,319
Speaker 2: it's going to make your experience, or your perception of

899
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 2: that dressing change, of that bandage change feel less painful.

900
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 2: So what I decided to do was I volunteered to

901
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 2: be the first burns patient to get their bandages changed.

902
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 2: And it was I think that was part of, you know,

903
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 2: developing That was a start of me developing that little

904
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:37,479
Speaker 2: bit of discipline, you know, doing eating the frog, doing

905
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 2: the worst first. So I asked ask the nurses to start,

906
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 2: you'd be the first patient to get their dressings changed.

907
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 2: And then I also asked the nurses to start with

908
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 2: the most painful areas of my body first as well,

909
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,760
Speaker 2: because then for me, like like I learned that Ted talk,

910
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 2: and probably like I'd learned throughout my life, you know,

911
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 2: when the worst is done, it when you've got the

912
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 2: hardest stuff of the way, the rest of your day,

913
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 2: in comparison, feels a little bit easier or a little

914
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 2: bit lighter.

915
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 3: It's interesting you even started structuring your thinking process at

916
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 3: that point. You know, you're actually not too dissimilar to

917
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,240
Speaker 3: what you do in the year twelve. It's about structured thinking,

918
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 3: which is very much an engineer an engineer's process. But

919
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 3: you know, like perhaps all that period of study and

920
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 3: work and also you developing your own brain allows you

921
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 3: to sort of build better understanding of perception, because pains

922
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,400
Speaker 3: about perception, and you know, it's your brain telling you

923
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 3: something that you perceive it perceives, and it sounds like

924
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 3: that you were sort of not manipulating but sort of

925
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 3: train your own brain around what you wanted it to do.

926
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, if you think about your perception of pain

927
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:58,319
Speaker 2: and anticipating the pain, that makes it so much worse. Right,

928
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 2: so far, was lying bed the night before the bandage

929
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 2: change was going to be done, and I was already

930
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 2: stressed about it. And then in the morning, when I

931
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 2: could hear the nurses in the hallway pull it, you know,

932
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 2: pushing their little trolleys, that would make me even more

933
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:17,839
Speaker 2: anxious about it. And then when I would hear, you know,

934
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 2: a burns patient next door screaming about their bandage change,

935
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 2: I would, you know, my heart would my heart would

936
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 2: already be racing. And there was no one in the room.

937
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 2: There was no nurses in the room, no one was

938
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 2: trying to change my bandages, but I was already in

939
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 2: this state of being worked up and anxious and stressed

940
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 2: and worrying about all of this pain that I was

941
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 2: about to endure. So I don't know if at the

942
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 2: time I could have said, you know, I'm doing this

943
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,359
Speaker 2: because I want to be more discipplined and I want

944
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 2: to have some structure to my day. I just watched

945
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:53,800
Speaker 2: that Ted talk. I chatted about it with the nurse,

946
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 2: and you know, we decided, or maybe she even suggested

947
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:01,399
Speaker 2: to me that going first might be a really good

948
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 2: way for me to manage my pain. But it was

949
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,439
Speaker 2: really a really good lesson for me at that time

950
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 2: because it reminded me that I still had agency. See,

951
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 2: when you're a patient in a hospital in you're a

952
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 2: patient in a hospital for months, and every day you've

953
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,319
Speaker 2: got people coming into your room, you know they want

954
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 2: to they want to poke you and prod you, and

955
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,879
Speaker 2: totally get that they're that they're just doing their job,

956
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 2: and they do a really bloody good job as well.

957
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 2: But you I think I became a little bit passive

958
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 2: in that I didn't and then I didn't realize or

959
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 2: I didn't I didn't recognize that it was still in

960
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:42,280
Speaker 2: my body. I still had agency, I still had control

961
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 2: over it. So I think it was a good lesson

962
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 2: and reminded me of that. But it also reminded me

963
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 2: that how I thought about things, or how I how

964
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 2: I executed things had a big impact onto how I

965
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 2: to how I felt about them, if that makes sense, said,

966
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 2: I think that was the start of me realize.

967
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: It's very interesting.

968
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 3: It's funny because today, I mean, we hear it on

969
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:10,960
Speaker 3: social media light about people getting triggered by something or other,

970
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 3: and off the back of that, I mean, especially younger

971
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 3: people talking about it, and off the back of that,

972
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:20,359
Speaker 3: we have you know, a lot of people will say

973
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 3: how they experience some anxiety off the back of the trigger.

974
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 3: In your case, it might have been hearing the trolley

975
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 3: coming along, or without actually them actually removing the bandages,

976
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 3: you actually experience anxiety. To me, you're actually someone who

977
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 3: probably a black belt in anxiety in terms of experience,

978
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 3: in terms of you know, like a tenth damn black

979
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 3: belt in terms of experiencing anxiety.

980
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:40,879
Speaker 1: What would you say?

981
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 3: You obviously talk about these things on your talks. I mean,

982
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 3: you do a lot of talk and a lot of

983
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 3: circuits around, around your experience, et cetera. What would you

984
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 3: say to people today, particularly younger people, who are troubled

985
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 3: by things that they hear or their sensory perception of

986
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:00,720
Speaker 3: what's going on around them that might be actually trigger

987
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 3: triggering or creating a lot of anxiety in them about

988
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 3: something that could be about to happen. What do you

989
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 3: say to these people? I mean, and obviously that's part

990
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 3: of your job these days, but what do you say

991
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:11,879
Speaker 3: to them?

992
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:17,800
Speaker 2: I don't actually speak to that many young people these days,

993
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 2: not because I don't want it, but just because life

994
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 2: with the kids and the family is a bit busy.

995
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 2: I do wonder if we're if we are maybe coddling

996
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 2: younger people. And so, for example, if you go on

997
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:42,399
Speaker 2: social media, if you jump on Instagram and you find

998
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 2: yourself triggered by what you see, For sure, that might

999
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 2: be because of the algorithm, but I think also you

1000
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:53,239
Speaker 2: do have some agency, right You could remove Instagram from

1001
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 2: your phone, you could follow different people, you could you know,

1002
00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:59,919
Speaker 2: you could leave your phone at home, so you can

1003
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 2: take all of those actions to to make that that

1004
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:07,759
Speaker 2: you know, that triggering or that anxiety that you feel

1005
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 2: about what you're seeing a little less. That's not to

1006
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 2: say that everyone who says that they feel triggered by

1007
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 2: saying something on social media is just, you know, it's

1008
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 2: all in their head, because you know, we don't know

1009
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 2: what's what's gone on in someone else's life, how they've

1010
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 2: been brought up, what their family life is like. We

1011
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 2: don't know any of that. But I do think that

1012
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 2: there's a little bit of a balance. I think we

1013
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 2: there may be a bit of danger that where that

1014
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 2: we might be cuddling people as opposed to encouraging them

1015
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:42,920
Speaker 2: to take some responsibility.

1016
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 3: That's a very good point, and especially coming from someone

1017
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:49,239
Speaker 3: like you, as opposed to say, someone like myself, et cetera.

1018
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 3: Coming from someone like you who's actually really experienced deep,

1019
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 3: deep trauma, physical trauma and probably the mental trauma as

1020
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 3: well that went with it.

1021
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 1: You know, that's a to me. I find that to

1022
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: be a deeply.

1023
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:09,240
Speaker 3: Not any insightful, but deeply interesting to me, deeply interesting

1024
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 3: commentary from you.

1025
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:14,840
Speaker 1: Could you do you think.

1026
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 3: In an advisory way that for any of us, probably

1027
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 3: not so much more.

1028
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 1: It could happen to me. It doesn't matter how old I.

1029
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,800
Speaker 3: Am, but for any of us should make sure that

1030
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 3: we do not undervalue the importance of.

1031
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 1: Support structures around us. And I said I was going

1032
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 1: to park that earlier.

1033
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 3: On I'm now unparking or driving this into the driveway.

1034
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 3: Do you think that making sure that we build good

1035
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 3: support around us family friends, in your case, your family friends,

1036
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 3: but also your boyfriend to become your husband? How important

1037
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 3: is that as a a prospective process that we should

1038
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:06,840
Speaker 3: get undertake, whether or not we whether or not we

1039
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 3: end up experiencing the source of trauma that you experienced.

1040
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 1: Anyway, but how important is that? And how important was

1041
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: it for you?

1042
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 3: Because obviously you pre you pre did all this, Touria,

1043
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 3: you did this earlier without knowing that what was going

1044
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 3: to happen to you.

1045
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 1: How important was it?

1046
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 2: But I think I think the most it is the

1047
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 2: most important thing. Relationships that are the most important thing.

1048
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 2: And I think that's your relationship with your spouse, your

1049
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 2: relationship with your family, your relationship with your friends, your

1050
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 2: relationship if you know, if you're lucky enough to have

1051
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 2: a mentor whatever it is. I think it is the

1052
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 2: most important thing. And it's not you know, it's not

1053
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 2: surrounding yourself with people who blow smoke up your ass

1054
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:55,439
Speaker 2: and tell you how amazing you are and how good

1055
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 2: you are. And cheerleaders, yeah, and I like cheerleaders are

1056
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 2: great as well, because sometimes you feel fragile. You just

1057
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 2: want someone to say you're doing a good job. Right,

1058
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 2: you do need cheerleaders. But if I think about, you know,

1059
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 2: the constructive feedback, I've got. The person who will always

1060
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 2: give it to me straight is my husband, Michael. He'll

1061
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 2: always tell me if something is shit, if something's not good,

1062
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 2: if I haven't done a good enough job. My dad

1063
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 2: will tell me as well. I remember the first the

1064
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 2: first time I did a motivational speech, my dad came

1065
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 2: with me and afterwards, I said, oh, Dad, how do

1066
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 2: you think I went? And he said, Terria, that was shitouse.

1067
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 2: You should be embarrassed. You should be embarrassed that you

1068
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:53,120
Speaker 2: are charging people money for that, because he said that

1069
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 2: was terrible. And he said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to

1070
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: tell you. I'm sorry to be so blunt. But he

1071
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 2: said basically like, if it's something that you want to pursue,

1072
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 2: you're gonna have to get better at it. You're gonna

1073
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 2: have to go see other people how they do it.

1074
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 2: You're gonna have to get some training because that performance

1075
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 2: was like terrible, absolutely terrible, absolutely shit out. But I

1076
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,920
Speaker 2: think I think you need and I think that's the

1077
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 2: other thing too. We've you know, and maybe even myself,

1078
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 2: you become your ego become so fragile that you don't

1079
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 2: like it if someone says, well, that wasn't good or

1080
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 2: that wasn't a good enough job, or you need to

1081
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 2: do better, or have you thought about doing it this way?

1082
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 2: And I know, you know, if Michael, my husband, says

1083
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:39,120
Speaker 2: stuff that like that to me, it really hurts my

1084
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 2: ego because I'll be like, well, no, everyone everyone else

1085
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,920
Speaker 2: likes it, so why don't you? Why don't you? But

1086
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 2: I think as well, sometimes you need that that close

1087
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:52,160
Speaker 2: relationship with someone, that trust with someone for them to

1088
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 2: be able to tell it straight to you. And you're

1089
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 2: not always going to like what they have to say.

1090
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 2: But I think it's no, I'm not good at this either,

1091
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 2: but I think it's really good to try and be

1092
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,959
Speaker 2: open winded, try and take what they've told you on board.

1093
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 2: So cheerleaders are great, but I think you also need

1094
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 2: people who are gonna who are going to be able

1095
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,600
Speaker 2: to give you that be able to tell you the

1096
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 2: stuff that you don't want to.

1097
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:21,880
Speaker 1: Hear, well, that's a I mean I often get criticized.

1098
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:24,240
Speaker 1: I have been often criticized in my life.

1099
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 3: For being a bit direct, especially I'm probably more direct

1100
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 3: to those people and close to.

1101
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 1: Is there a way that someone like me, who probably

1102
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:39,880
Speaker 1: a bit like your dad's I just say it as

1103
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 1: it is?

1104
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:43,880
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't really have many filters in my system.

1105
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 3: Is there a better way to do it? Or is

1106
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:48,880
Speaker 3: it just just say it as it is? And I

1107
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 3: know you might I might crush someone's ego similar to

1108
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 3: what your dad did with you on your first motivational talk.

1109
01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 1: Is that okay?

1110
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 3: Or is it maybe you know Dad and I we

1111
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 3: need to change the way. Is there a midway point

1112
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:08,360
Speaker 3: where we maybe need to change our way of talking

1113
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 3: to people?

1114
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 1: Are you?

1115
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 3: Because you know, at the same time, we don't want

1116
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 3: to crush you. You know, I wouldn't want to crush

1117
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,120
Speaker 3: my kids or my partner or whatever. I don't want

1118
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 3: to crush people. Is advisory advise me?

1119
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 2: I think? I think And this might not be right either, Mark,

1120
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 2: but maybe giving them some a bit of direction. So

1121
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 2: if you just say that was shit, you're awful, get out,

1122
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 2: that's probably going to crush someone. But if you say

1123
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 2: I didn't like that because of X, Y and Z,

1124
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,080
Speaker 2: here's where I or you know, you could say what,

1125
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:45,959
Speaker 2: you know, what do you think you could have done

1126
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 2: to do it a little bit better? You could put

1127
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:50,840
Speaker 2: it on them to ask, because I think as well,

1128
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:55,120
Speaker 2: sometimes sometimes we might lie to ourselves. We might like

1129
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 2: to think something's good, but I think deep down, you know,

1130
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 2: you do always know if you haven't done a good

1131
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,880
Speaker 2: job or if it's not up to scratch as well.

1132
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 2: But you know, just giving people some directions mark of

1133
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:10,760
Speaker 2: what they could try differently or where they could go to.

1134
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 2: Like my dad did after my speech, right, he said,

1135
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,960
Speaker 2: go see some other speakers in action, go and get

1136
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:20,160
Speaker 2: some training. You know you've got it. This has got

1137
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 2: to be a lot more polished.

1138
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 3: And I guess to some extent too in your case,

1139
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:31,360
Speaker 3: especially substance over form would be really important because you're know,

1140
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:34,000
Speaker 3: you don't really want to play the pity card, so

1141
01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:36,120
Speaker 3: to speak. You know, people clap because you know, we

1142
01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 3: feel sorry for career, like you'd rather. You're an intelligent

1143
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 3: person and a trained person, and not only that, persons,

1144
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 3: you've actually you have experienced the trauma, so you actually

1145
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 3: went through the trauma yourself, So you would rather be

1146
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:58,880
Speaker 3: applauded for your substance and content over and above the form.

1147
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:03,320
Speaker 3: And that's a pretty important thing. That would be an

1148
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:04,920
Speaker 3: important message to give to somebody.

1149
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 2: I think, I think so. But I think I think

1150
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 2: if I was, you know, if I was just relying

1151
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 2: on pity, that that probably would have all dried up

1152
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:19,760
Speaker 2: years and years and years ago. Yes, right, because there's

1153
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:23,960
Speaker 2: only short term pity someone for a short term. But

1154
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 2: I think you've got to be able to go beyond that.

1155
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 2: So I think, yes, substance is good. I can't remember

1156
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:37,560
Speaker 2: the other word you used, Mark, You said substances.

1157
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 3: Content, content and substance over form. You know, it's not

1158
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 3: it's not about you know, you know what I feel.

1159
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:43,880
Speaker 1: What it's about?

1160
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 3: What do you leave me with? What do I get

1161
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 3: out of what you just told me, the story you

1162
01:04:48,080 --> 01:04:50,400
Speaker 3: told me? What am I getting from it? Like I'm

1163
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,160
Speaker 3: like just talking today to get what I'm getting from you?

1164
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 3: Is you know, discipline, structure, beliefs of belief good. You know,

1165
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 3: I'm getting a lot important stuff like a good a

1166
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:06,680
Speaker 3: good support group, but probably beyond that, having people who

1167
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:10,560
Speaker 3: talk to me straight. And I think that that's probably

1168
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 3: all of those things are quite motivational in that they

1169
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:16,560
Speaker 3: sort of give me a direction.

1170
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 1: I mean, and I'm not me.

1171
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 3: I'm talking about me the listener, and I'm one of

1172
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 3: your listeners right now, but me the listener to you.

1173
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:28,840
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I go, I can't sit around

1174
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 3: feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to do something about it.

1175
01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:33,240
Speaker 3: And that's what I'm getting from the conversation. And that's

1176
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:36,080
Speaker 3: what i mean by content and substance. Is that what

1177
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:38,040
Speaker 3: you is that what you want to leave people with.

1178
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 2: I hope. So I hope if after you know, listening

1179
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:47,760
Speaker 2: to this chat, Mark, people feel, you know, they feel

1180
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 2: like maybe they can take on that extra project, or

1181
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:52,440
Speaker 2: maybe they can go back to UNI and do extra study.

1182
01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:56,240
Speaker 2: I think that's great. I also think if someone listens

1183
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:59,880
Speaker 2: to this conversation and thinks, you know what, there's some

1184
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:02,880
Speaker 2: one in my life that I really love and I

1185
01:06:02,920 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 2: haven't told them enough, and they pick up their phone

1186
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 2: and they call that person and they let them know

1187
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:10,680
Speaker 2: because I think, you know, I said it a little

1188
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:14,760
Speaker 2: bit earlier, but it's our it's our relationships, our relationships

1189
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 2: with each other, with our spouse, with our friends, with

1190
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 2: our family. I really think that's that is that is

1191
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:22,800
Speaker 2: the most important thing in our life, because if you

1192
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 2: if you take away all of those personal relationships that

1193
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 2: you've got with people, or that you know, that that

1194
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:32,360
Speaker 2: that network of people that you've got, if you take

1195
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:36,040
Speaker 2: all of that away, you're not really left with a

1196
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 2: whole bunch, are you. So I think, you know, maybe

1197
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:42,840
Speaker 2: being a bit vulnerable and not being afraid to tell

1198
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 2: people how much they mean to you or how much

1199
01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 2: they love them, because I know, for me, I was

1200
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 2: never good at that before this accident, and I've gotten

1201
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:55,960
Speaker 2: you know, I've gotten so much, so much better at

1202
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:58,320
Speaker 2: letting people know how much they mean to me.

1203
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:01,959
Speaker 3: It's funny like if I sometimes I'd like to sort

1204
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:09,360
Speaker 3: of this sounds like I'm putting things into categories, but

1205
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,560
Speaker 3: if I was to the words come to my mind

1206
01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:16,160
Speaker 3: when I'm doing interviews like this one, or just generally words.

1207
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:18,760
Speaker 3: The very first word that came into my mind when

1208
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:23,560
Speaker 3: we're first talking about your early years was curiosity and structure.

1209
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:26,600
Speaker 3: But curiosity was a big thing in terms of you know,

1210
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 3: the nerd, the nerd part of all the discussion. But

1211
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:31,600
Speaker 3: what I'm getting out of it now in terms of

1212
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:37,480
Speaker 3: one word is gratefulness versus bitterness, and gratefulness seems like

1213
01:07:37,520 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 3: to be an overarching thing that's coming out of the discussion,

1214
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:44,520
Speaker 3: even though you haven't used that word yet, But I'm

1215
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 3: getting a sense of gratefulness from you.

1216
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:50,800
Speaker 2: You know what, Mark, if I had had these injuries

1217
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:55,040
Speaker 2: in a developing country, I'd be dead, no question about it.

1218
01:07:55,800 --> 01:08:00,800
Speaker 2: And I think I've got all of these, you know,

1219
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:03,760
Speaker 2: all of these great things in my corner. I've got

1220
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:07,680
Speaker 2: this amazing spunking man. I've got these two beautiful children.

1221
01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 2: I get to do work every day that I enjoy doing,

1222
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 2: that I find meaningful, that gives my life structure and purpose.

1223
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:16,920
Speaker 2: I can go surfing when I want, you know, I

1224
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:19,960
Speaker 2: can spend time with my friends and family. I am

1225
01:08:20,439 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 2: genuinely grateful for this life that I live, and I

1226
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:29,120
Speaker 2: think you know I feel I even I feel really

1227
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 2: grateful to the Australian public right because you know, that's

1228
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,760
Speaker 2: why you've asked me to be on this interview today, Mark,

1229
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:40,040
Speaker 2: Because people know about me, people know about my story.

1230
01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:45,880
Speaker 2: People in Australia have supported me and my journey from

1231
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:48,519
Speaker 2: even though all of those years ago doing my first

1232
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:51,920
Speaker 2: sixty minute segment. You know, I've had nothing but love

1233
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:59,800
Speaker 2: and support from the Australian people, and so I don't

1234
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:02,400
Speaker 2: want to be better because I think, well, what have

1235
01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:04,240
Speaker 2: I got to be bitter about? Because you've got all

1236
01:09:04,240 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 2: of these amazing things, all of these amazing things, but

1237
01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:10,200
Speaker 2: all of these things that are working for you and

1238
01:09:10,280 --> 01:09:11,080
Speaker 2: not against you.

1239
01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:14,680
Speaker 3: Well, what you're doing is you're giving me, as part

1240
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:17,160
Speaker 3: of your audience right now, a great deal of perspective.

1241
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:20,200
Speaker 3: I mean, and I find that every now and then

1242
01:09:20,240 --> 01:09:22,000
Speaker 3: we all need a good uppercut. And I can wake

1243
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 3: up this morning feeling like a bit shit because I

1244
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:28,559
Speaker 3: might have something bothering me, and then you're just giving

1245
01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:31,760
Speaker 3: me perspective, which is basically me giving myself an uppercut.

1246
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 3: And I think that's important. I think we all need

1247
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:37,000
Speaker 3: to have that. I mean, I really do. I just

1248
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,960
Speaker 3: think we just need to get a copper sort of

1249
01:09:40,479 --> 01:09:42,840
Speaker 3: a clip every now and then and just think it's

1250
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:45,760
Speaker 3: just sit back for a second, mark. And I think

1251
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 3: our audens needs to do the same thing. So what's

1252
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,920
Speaker 3: the future, Toria? What's ahead of you?

1253
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:53,360
Speaker 1: Now? What's ahead of it from being a mom and

1254
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:54,160
Speaker 1: all that other stuff.

1255
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:58,200
Speaker 2: I am on deadline for my next book, which is

1256
01:09:58,240 --> 01:09:59,880
Speaker 2: a little bit about the mental lie, a little bit

1257
01:09:59,920 --> 01:10:03,719
Speaker 2: of about motherhood. So it's going to be really interesting

1258
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:06,080
Speaker 2: to see how that all turns out. That's due in

1259
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:07,840
Speaker 2: a couple of months, so that's pretty much what I'm

1260
01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:10,120
Speaker 2: working on at the moment. And then I've got my

1261
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:12,920
Speaker 2: running program. I've got a group of runners who are

1262
01:10:12,920 --> 01:10:16,559
Speaker 2: taking on Queenstown Marathon at the end of the year,

1263
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:19,320
Speaker 2: so i really want to make sure that I'm giving

1264
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:23,640
Speaker 2: them the you know, the support, the being a cheerleader

1265
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:25,760
Speaker 2: for them, but also giving them a bit of a

1266
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:28,080
Speaker 2: stern talking to when I think they need it.

1267
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:30,680
Speaker 3: And your your book. It'll be by sounds of it's

1268
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 3: going to be ready for Christmas? Is that about right?

1269
01:10:32,840 --> 01:10:35,120
Speaker 2: No to do this year? Won't It won't come out

1270
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:37,320
Speaker 2: till next year, won't come out till next year.

1271
01:10:37,360 --> 01:10:39,760
Speaker 3: It won't come out to next year. So maybe a

1272
01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:42,960
Speaker 3: good Mother's Day present or a good present. It's sort

1273
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:44,040
Speaker 3: of in twenty twenty five.

1274
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:46,679
Speaker 2: I think it's an excellent present in twenty twenty five

1275
01:10:47,120 --> 01:10:49,680
Speaker 2: for the women, but also for the men if they

1276
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:51,439
Speaker 2: want to, if they want to read my take on

1277
01:10:51,479 --> 01:10:54,760
Speaker 2: it as well, I'll send you a copy. Mark I'm

1278
01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:55,760
Speaker 2: to worry about it.

1279
01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:57,280
Speaker 3: I was going to ask you if you wouldn't and

1280
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:00,000
Speaker 3: please sign it. Will you say something on the inside

1281
01:11:00,160 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 3: of the book, because that makes it really valuable if

1282
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:03,559
Speaker 3: it comes from you personally.

1283
01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:07,040
Speaker 1: I'd love to I'd love to have something like that Tooria.

1284
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:11,360
Speaker 3: Like I, I've never met you before, I obviously know

1285
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 3: about your story. Not obviously, but I know about your story,

1286
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 3: and I pay attention to these things.

1287
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,719
Speaker 1: But I think as an.

1288
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:26,000
Speaker 3: Australian to me, you epitomize in a lot of ways anyway,

1289
01:11:26,680 --> 01:11:31,040
Speaker 3: what lots of a sort of dream about a strong woman,

1290
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:36,960
Speaker 3: a strong mother, a great partner, but a person who

1291
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:40,839
Speaker 3: actually sort of doesn't mind openly talking about the virtues

1292
01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:43,200
Speaker 3: that sort of keep her going. And as I said earlier,

1293
01:11:43,320 --> 01:11:49,840
Speaker 3: things like gratefulness, et cetera. They're things, and most of

1294
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:52,799
Speaker 3: those virtues they're old fashioned, but when we rarely ever talk.

1295
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:54,720
Speaker 1: About them, I really talk about them.

1296
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:57,760
Speaker 3: And I want to thank you for reminding me, and

1297
01:11:57,800 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 3: I guess probably the balance of our institute and all

1298
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:05,040
Speaker 3: those people who know to reappear reminding us of those

1299
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:07,960
Speaker 3: important things in life outside of Instagram, outside of social media,

1300
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:11,160
Speaker 3: outside of you know, all our anxieties and worries and concerns,

1301
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,840
Speaker 3: but reminding us of those important virtues that basically drive

1302
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:18,960
Speaker 3: us in our life. And I've had this whole discussion

1303
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 3: has been motivational and inspirationial to me. I'm so appreciative

1304
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,440
Speaker 3: of being able to do podcasts to meet people like yourself,

1305
01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:27,600
Speaker 3: like it's a big deal for me, and even at

1306
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:30,400
Speaker 3: sixty eight years of age, it's just the start of

1307
01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:30,800
Speaker 3: my life.

1308
01:12:30,840 --> 01:12:32,559
Speaker 1: And I thanks for being part of it.

1309
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:35,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks so much for having me Mark, I really

1310
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 2: appreciate it.

1311
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:38,320
Speaker 1: So cool, great, a great chat. I loved it.

1312
01:12:38,439 --> 01:12:40,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was good. I enjoyed it. Took