Speaker 1: This is the Chrissy Swan Show. Hey, welcome to mitvok.
Speaker 1: That's German for Wednesday. Oh hello, say midweek. Isn't the
Speaker 1: German language wonderful? I won't hear a bad word about it.
Speaker 2: No, I'm with you.
Speaker 1: I've been so busy today, Jack, It's been really amazing,
Speaker 1: and I've been You'll be proud of me because I've
Speaker 1: been ticking off the boxes that you set for me
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the year, and I just want
Speaker 1: to know I feel like this is still serving a Look.
Speaker 2: Yes, you absolutely have today.
Speaker 1: Great and I wanted to get it across the line
Speaker 1: in case you were going to nege it because this
Speaker 1: top I bought from a fantastic flea market in Tokyo.
Speaker 2: I love that top.
Speaker 1: Okay great, so it wins.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: And guess what else I did today? What might have
Speaker 1: eaten at a restaurant? I went to a cafe.
Speaker 2: For breakfast and a solo.
Speaker 1: No. I had a zoom meeting with this girl for
Speaker 1: nine am. And I texted her last night and I went,
Speaker 1: let's go irl, Oh good, yeah, and she said that
Speaker 1: would be wonderful. And then she picked this amazing cafe
Speaker 1: and I had a beautiful lunch and I didn't have
Speaker 1: to cook it, or clean up after it or anything.
Speaker 2: You really are ticking off those inns I gave you.
Speaker 2: I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1: And how about you? You look busy.
Speaker 2: I had went back to personal training this morning, and
Speaker 2: then I had to go to Henny to get you
Speaker 2: my Chris Jenner An outfit for the fashion show tomorrow night,
Speaker 2: because I want you to be saying this, You're doing amazing.
Speaker 2: We'll be doing jack to vip seeds before three o'clock
Speaker 2: if you'd like to come and watch me, hopefully not
Speaker 2: fall over on the runway. Next though, Misted Chrissy thirteen
Speaker 2: twenty four to ten. If you'd like your mind read.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show. Let's get spooky.
Speaker 2: Mister Chrissie should know who she is. Correct, Speke Savors
Speaker 2: is helping Chrissy with her mystical visions. Should have gone
Speaker 2: to Specsavers.
Speaker 1: Christy. I want to take this opportunity to just do
Speaker 1: a Blanketmmunity service announcement. Every time my face is featured
Speaker 1: on my personal Instagram, Chris, someone follow me if you
Speaker 1: like for Lady Madness. Yeah, I get at least five
Speaker 1: to ten messages. Oh my god, I love your glasses.
Speaker 1: Where are they from? I'm going to answer this once
Speaker 1: here Spec Savers. No matter what is on my face,
Speaker 1: it's from Spec Savers.
Speaker 2: So stop asking and commenting.
Speaker 1: Every pair of glasses I own are from Spec Savers.
Speaker 2: I keep meaning to ask you where do you get
Speaker 2: those weight Lo's Coumany's from? Keep seeing your face all
Speaker 2: over there?
Speaker 1: From Oprah Colby?
Speaker 3: Hello col.
Speaker 1: Hi, Good Now, I'm not going to do it again.
Speaker 2: No, that'd be annoying.
Speaker 1: Kobe. You like a curvy girl.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, Oh she's on the man.
Speaker 3: You're getting there.
Speaker 1: You like a like a bumb good juicy bobbin as
Speaker 1: my kids used to call it.
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, that sounds out right.
Speaker 1: You've got a family member who mysteriously disappeared, Kobe.
Speaker 3: I had a cat that ran away one.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about, pets of family members. You've
Speaker 1: got a few gray hairs and you shouldn't have, and
Speaker 1: you're concerned about it because you're a little bit vain.
Speaker 1: Definitely not, are you sure? Have you checked today?
Speaker 3: Not today? But I hope not. I'm only twenty.
Speaker 2: Four, Kobe. I'm twenty eight, and I'm going gray already,
Speaker 2: and I'm kind of into the Sultan Pepper vibe.
Speaker 3: Yeah you like it?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I reckon if you start to go gray, embrace it, brother, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'll take that.
Speaker 1: Do you ride bikes or something? Because I can feel
Speaker 1: spiky legs, like you know, rubbing a shark the wrong
Speaker 1: direction on his skin.
Speaker 3: I ride dirt bike.
Speaker 1: You know someone very close to you whose hot beverage
Speaker 1: order includes half a sugar half a sugar? Very specific?
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Can I ask mister Chrissy? What would Kobe's drink of
Speaker 2: choice be if he was on a night out?
Speaker 1: He likes beer.
Speaker 3: I don't drink alcohol, Hey.
Speaker 1: N neither. How good is it? Kobe?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I know it's great.
Speaker 1: Why don't you drink? I, for.
Speaker 3: One, don't like the taste of her, and I'm just not.
Speaker 3: I don't like the influence that it has on a
Speaker 3: lot of people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also the hangovers kill me now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but man, it's worth it after a fun night.
Speaker 1: It's actually not. Hey, Kobe, you got very very seasick
Speaker 1: and everyone was laughing. Oh ha ha, look at Kobe.
Speaker 1: He's so sick. But you didn't find it funny?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I recently had a really saw stomach and I
Speaker 3: didn't really want to go to work and I had to.
Speaker 3: Missus wasn't too happy, so I just pretended that I
Speaker 3: broke my toe. So I ended up telling her that
Speaker 3: that actually wasn't the case, and they were all laughing.
Speaker 2: That was a very good finale. Hey, Kobe, you have
Speaker 2: one yourself, a VIP Specsaviors voucher for one pair of
Speaker 2: glasses or sonnies and two hundred and fifty dollars cash.
Speaker 1: And luckily that don't double his beer goggles for you, Kobe.
Speaker 2: Do they know.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, give us a buzz? If something
Speaker 1: has hitched a ride that shouldn't have. Maybe it was
Speaker 1: in your car and you found it a long way
Speaker 1: from where it lives.
Speaker 2: Maybe it was in your suitcase or on your suitcase.
Speaker 1: Correct, let's go to Boston, shall we. A woman has
Speaker 1: been stung by a scorpion.
Speaker 2: That would sting?
Speaker 1: Would it literally would sting?
Speaker 2: I imagine it being like a nip, like a really
Speaker 2: really painful, harsh nip.
Speaker 1: But you know how they work. They've got their stings
Speaker 1: at the back and they go whip. They get some
Speaker 1: velocity from the back.
Speaker 2: Does it just prick you in and out? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But does it clean it which is a hideous thing
Speaker 1: some force? Did you know that that's how they do it?
Speaker 1: So she was at Boston's Logan Airport and she went
Speaker 1: to pick up her bag and bang, the scorpion struck
Speaker 1: and there was a camera crew there. She was rushed
Speaker 1: to hospital. It was not good, but the camera crew
Speaker 1: recorded some reactions from other passengers. Have a listen to this.
Speaker 6: Those interminally at Boston Logan Airport talking about the scorpion
Speaker 6: that appears to have hitched a ride here too.
Speaker 4: I think that's possibly one of the most exciting things
Speaker 4: I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: I think that guy needs to get out more to you.
Speaker 4: I think that's possibly one of the most exciting things
Speaker 4: I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: Is he referring to the sentence someone was bitten by
Speaker 1: a scorpion and that's the most exciting thing is ever had.
Speaker 2: There mustn't be much happening in Boston.
Speaker 1: He mustn't be listening to what we talk about during
Speaker 1: the song.
Speaker 2: Right, What do they do? I guess in Boston they
Speaker 2: just run marathons.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're just like you know, Ben affleck Ye,
Speaker 1: Matt Damond. Also, this woman was like really rattled, trooper.
Speaker 6: Say the woman was your chieving luggage in the baggage
Speaker 6: claim area of customes when it happened, it's too much scary.
Speaker 1: My body now is and listen for that scorpion. They came,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it's too much.
Speaker 1: But what does she say? It's too much scary, too
Speaker 1: much scary, love, it's too much scary.
Speaker 2: I wonder if that woman's going to make it. Can
Speaker 2: you pass from a scorpion? Boy?
Speaker 1: You can, but I don't. There are different levels of it,
Speaker 1: again my experience in the jungle. There are ones that
Speaker 1: won't kill you. Okay, there's quite a few that won't
Speaker 1: kill you like a snake.
Speaker 2: There's all the different types of exactly thirteen twenty four
Speaker 2: to ten. What hitched a ride that shouldn't have. Let's
Speaker 2: go to kill it?
Speaker 7: Hi, kel, Hello, how about you?
Speaker 1: Look? I was all right until I realized that you're
Speaker 1: about to tell a story about it.
Speaker 2: Bird.
Speaker 7: The bird was fine. So I was driving to work
Speaker 7: and I was pulling up at some traffic and these
Speaker 7: birds came flying in front of me, and then I
Speaker 7: didn't know what happened, and then when I got to work,
Speaker 7: I parked my car and got out and then this
Speaker 7: bird came flying out from underneath my car.
Speaker 1: Oh how long had it been in there?
Speaker 7: For about ten minutes?
Speaker 2: Oh my, do you have a phobia of birds? Calorie
Speaker 2: or good with them?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 8: I love birds.
Speaker 1: Oh I won't tell you my cocker two story.
Speaker 2: We should set you up with our like as mates,
Speaker 2: with our digital producer Marco, because he goes bird watching.
Speaker 1: Him loves bird and he's a parent man.
Speaker 2: He's a parent man. What's your favorite bird?
Speaker 7: Rainbow lorikeet?
Speaker 1: Oh, they are special, beautiful.
Speaker 7: We seed them at home, they come here and we
Speaker 7: feed them. They're beautiful.
Speaker 1: Well, look I can say a rainbow lorikeet like flew
Speaker 1: straight into my window at home and we nursed it
Speaker 1: back to help.
Speaker 2: Really, so they're pretty but not very smart.
Speaker 1: I have also walked through glass doors.
Speaker 2: That's Baker's Delight voucher for you.
Speaker 1: Kel Hello, Claire Beart, Hi, I'm sorry, what a spider
Speaker 1: in the car?
Speaker 9: No, yeah, so I was. We were doing our drive
Speaker 9: from Sydney to Melbourne for a holiday. So it's about
Speaker 9: a ten hour drive and as soon as we arrived,
Speaker 9: I basically pulled the blanket off me to get out
Speaker 9: of the car, and they're a massive consense spider literally
Speaker 9: sitting on my leg.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, how long had the blanket been on you? Claire?
Speaker 9: The whole spider was there the whole time.
Speaker 1: It was freaking, I mean, very smart spider, because that
Speaker 1: is a very decent uber rite and did not hate
Speaker 1: an absolute penny.
Speaker 2: Let's finish with Sam.
Speaker 1: Hey, Sammy, what happened? What was in the back of
Speaker 1: your van hitch hiking? A tiger snake?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not?
Speaker 5: No, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 4: I was a pissed controller and that snake was in
Speaker 4: one of the breath boxes and I opened it up
Speaker 4: and it jumped on.
Speaker 9: Me six in the morning.
Speaker 1: And what did you say? Actually no, you couldn't imagine
Speaker 1: what I said. Oh my god. Well, lucky you survived,
Speaker 1: at Sammy, Sorry, lucky you survived. Are we going to
Speaker 1: give you a Baker's to life about chat the chrisy
Speaker 1: Swan Show. The Chrisy Swan Show. For me, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm in a good mood. If I'm singing to pit,
Speaker 1: I'm raising my glass.
Speaker 2: I've got a.
Speaker 1: Coffee and you've got an asked latte. Obviously like that
Speaker 1: because of what we're going to talk about next.
Speaker 2: Australia's the largest fashion the Papal Meldon Fashion Festival, is
Speaker 2: back into March.
Speaker 1: PayPal MFF still comment at you Jack's v VCS. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited. It's only one more sleep until I see you.
Speaker 1: I can imagine you know that the lights go down
Speaker 1: and then they come up again, and you and all
Speaker 1: your newly personal trained magnificence are at the top of
Speaker 1: the catwalk. I'm going to be sitting in the audience
Speaker 1: with with our beautiful listeners who we've been inviting and
Speaker 1: paying for their flights and everything all week. We're about
Speaker 1: to add another one, but you've got a bag there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Before we get to our listener today, I want
Speaker 2: you to be full Chris Jenna amazing. So we've said
Speaker 2: that you need a black pair of specks Savors Sonnies.
Speaker 1: Yes, Am I getting them? Are they on?
Speaker 2: Tom?
Speaker 1: Tom's sorting that out right, because I don't have any
Speaker 1: plain black ones at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, No, Tom sorted that with our friends. Great,
Speaker 2: and then I've stopped by Henny this morning to get
Speaker 2: you a full black.
Speaker 1: Look great because I don't have a black suit.
Speaker 2: So there are two pairs. I wasn't sure on siding
Speaker 2: because you know how stuff's weird. So I got you
Speaker 2: two pairs of black pants, decide which size you'd like. Okay, great,
Speaker 2: and then the most important piece, a black oversized blazer.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I am so excited. I can't believe
Speaker 1: that I'm going theme dressed. And it's not even my show.
Speaker 2: No, it's gonna be about you as well, because you'll
Speaker 2: be with our beautiful christis one show listening.
Speaker 1: You think we could get glasses for our listeners as well,
Speaker 1: at least some dark sonnies so that everyone like, as
Speaker 1: soon as you come out, you'll know exactly.
Speaker 2: Where we are. That's a thumbs up from Tom.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's see who we are going to welcome
Speaker 1: into the front row, second row, wherever, up close and personal.
Speaker 1: Hello Isabella, Hi, Crispy, you're coming.
Speaker 9: I thought, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: So am I How proud of you were about boy?
Speaker 1: We haven't even seen him.
Speaker 2: Yet, undred percent.
Speaker 9: I'm excited for it all, especially to meet you, Isabelle.
Speaker 1: I know I can't wait. When we meet. We have
Speaker 1: to do the double air kiss. Okay, but because it's fashion,
Speaker 1: all right, and you need to watch Jack's moment and
Speaker 1: have absolutely no register of joy or happiness.
Speaker 2: You need to be smiling. Do you have any trips
Speaker 2: or tips for me? Isabella?
Speaker 9: Oh, just rock yourself and be confident.
Speaker 1: That's it. Be confident.
Speaker 2: Great, we love this. You can do that.
Speaker 1: I mean, he was born confident. Isabella.
Speaker 2: This is very exciting. We'll see you tomorrow night, Isabella.
Speaker 2: I look forward to meeting you and Australia's largest fashion event,
Speaker 2: PayPal Melbourne Fashion Festival is back until March eight. For tickets,
Speaker 2: head to PayPal dot MFF dot com dot au will
Speaker 2: be doing this once more tomorrow, registered via the Nova
Speaker 2: Player app.
Speaker 1: Do I need to call Narnia Bartel and say what
Speaker 1: do I wear under this? Or do I just go
Speaker 1: titties out?
Speaker 2: I was going out h the Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: Let's go click in Chrissy's clique fait belly Bobby Brown.
Speaker 1: She's upset. She's upset at Matt Lucas And it's a
Speaker 1: weird sort of you know, combination of two names that
Speaker 1: you would think that wouldn't have beef with each other.
Speaker 1: But what happened was Mellie Bobby Brown, who we got
Speaker 1: to know on Stranger Things when she was a kid,
Speaker 1: tiny little kid. She has since grown up and married
Speaker 1: John Bon, Jovie's son.
Speaker 2: What a cool couple, so good.
Speaker 1: Anyway, she posted some VIDs to Winsta where she had
Speaker 1: sort of dyed platinum hair and she was wearing a
Speaker 1: pink top. And Matt Lucas, who you may remember from
Speaker 1: years ago you may not as well. He was half
Speaker 1: of the writing and performing team of Little Britain show
Speaker 1: What a Show, and he had a character called Vicky
Speaker 1: Pollard who was sort of, you know, a council flat girl,
Speaker 1: and she would say yeah but no, but yeah, but no,
Speaker 1: but yeah. That was the game. That was the catchphrase. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Matt Lucas saw the photograph and commented, underneath the photograph
Speaker 1: of Millie Bobby Brown, yeah but no bit right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Millie Bobby Brown has a problem with that.
Speaker 10: I started in the industry when I was ten years old.
Speaker 10: I grew up in front of the world, and for
Speaker 10: some reason, people can't seem to grow up with me. Instead,
Speaker 10: they act like I'm supposed to stay frozen in time,
Speaker 10: like I should still look the way I did on
Speaker 10: Stranger Things season one, And because I don't, I'm now
Speaker 10: a target.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what he meant.
Speaker 2: I don't either, Swanny, I think because in the video
Speaker 2: is about two and a half minutes and she goes
Speaker 2: on to sort of read out other awful headlines about her, yeah,
Speaker 2: which most of them are terrible, and they're attacking her books.
Speaker 2: Of course, this thing with Matt Lucas, I feel like
Speaker 2: it's the straw that broke the camel's back.
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 2: I don't think he would have been trying to be
Speaker 2: malicious about it.
Speaker 1: Or so I'm going to read you what he responded.
Speaker 1: He said, Dear Milly, I saw your post and I
Speaker 1: want wanted to respond because she said that he's bullying
Speaker 1: her because of that. He explains about who Vicky Pollard
Speaker 1: was and that she had blonde hair and wore a
Speaker 1: pink top, and he said, I pointed out the similarity
Speaker 1: by posting one of Vicky's catchphrases. I think you're brilliant.
Speaker 1: I would never have posted it if I thought it
Speaker 1: would have upset you. Here's the thing. No one wants
Speaker 1: to be told they look like Vicky Pollard, who is
Speaker 1: a notoriously unattractive character. So while I think that you
Speaker 1: know Matt Lucas may be very apologetic. I do think
Speaker 1: that any comparisons made to a really unattractive, stupid character,
Speaker 1: it's never going to end well because he's saying, you
Speaker 1: look like this stupid woman.
Speaker 2: And had she not been already copy in it from
Speaker 2: the media, she probably would have just let it go
Speaker 2: exactly because she has been seen such negative things every day.
Speaker 2: I get that it's gonna upset you, agreed, But I
Speaker 2: also I really don't think Matt Lucas was trying to
Speaker 2: believe her. Yeah, but it's like, oh, I want to know,
Speaker 2: I don't What.
Speaker 1: If what if you posted a picture or if I
Speaker 1: posted a picture of myself and someone wrote, oh bird
Speaker 1: saying that I look like snuffle Upagus from Cetin Street,
Speaker 1: Don't you know what I mean? And then it's like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to offend you. Snuffle Upgus is a
Speaker 1: really kind and lovely creature with beautiful big eyelashes, and
Speaker 1: you know, I just didn't want to offend you. No,
Speaker 1: don't do that, or you know how your billion's going.
Speaker 1: Gina Rohnhut, you know what I mean I'm saying. You're
Speaker 1: saying I think, Yeah, I think it's too little, too elite.
Speaker 1: Justin Bieber, I said last week, I'm officially worried. I
Speaker 1: said months ago to you there's something up with Justin Bieber, and.
Speaker 2: I said, I think he's got a rap career when
Speaker 2: he posted this video guy goes high like a bad guy.
Speaker 1: I have serious concerns and they are getting bigger by
Speaker 1: the day. He's posted a photograph to his Instagram on
Speaker 1: a big old bong.
Speaker 2: S weird because I think it was only like a
Speaker 2: few days ago his management came out and said that
Speaker 2: he's definitely not on drugs and that everything's okay.
Speaker 1: I feel like there needs to be some sort of
Speaker 1: maybe a Microsoft teams meet between him and his management
Speaker 1: to try and get their story straight, because that man
Speaker 1: is spiraling. Yeah. Oh hey, we've got another hour to
Speaker 1: go before before regularly Tim and Joel take over, and
Speaker 1: only one more sleep to go before you make your
Speaker 1: triumphant debut on the catwalk in the Papal Melbourne Fashion Festival. Now,
Speaker 1: we've been giving away spots next to the runway. If
Speaker 1: you were seats all week, We've only got one more spot,
Speaker 1: So if you want to come tomorrow night, you hit
Speaker 1: us up on the Nova player app, I have received
Speaker 1: my outfit.
Speaker 2: Yes, I scurried into Henny today. Our good friend Nadia
Speaker 2: has sorted you out with a black Chris Janna look. Yes,
Speaker 2: and you're going to look fantastic.
Speaker 1: I have tried it on. It's amazing. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to wear it. I feel like we need to call
Speaker 1: up Tom. Should we call all of our winners and
Speaker 1: say you have to come in a black jacket or
Speaker 1: a black jumper or a cardigan, something black? Yes, if
Speaker 1: possibly can, even a T shirt, will do a black
Speaker 1: tea and we are going to be that little fashion
Speaker 1: gang there to support you tomorrow night.
Speaker 2: Jack Anna Wintour would hate to see you coming.
Speaker 1: Why does she not like black?
Speaker 2: No, because you guys are going to out out anaha,
Speaker 2: Yes we are like you guys are going to.
Speaker 1: Be try and find a little blunt bob wig. But
Speaker 1: no I won't. I'll just wear my normal hair.
Speaker 2: We found out as well. Miguel Maestra, the celebrity chef.
Speaker 1: Yes, he is going to be talking as well.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 1: I wonder if he's nervous. I think he might have
Speaker 1: some tips for you, because he's a very confident man.
Speaker 2: He is.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk to him tomorrow. I think you'll
Speaker 1: see what we can loosen you up.
Speaker 2: He'll join us live in the studio now swenty before
Speaker 2: four o'clock in clickbait, we need to talk about these
Speaker 2: photos of Jen Garner and Ben Affleck love it.
Speaker 1: They're not back together.
Speaker 2: I reckon they are.
Speaker 1: They're not. They're co parenting, you idiots. Next, the Chrissy
Speaker 1: Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show, and two Chains.
Speaker 2: Do not forget that two Change is the hero in
Speaker 2: that song.
Speaker 1: Let's give away bad Chrissy's quizzy. I mean, making everything
Speaker 1: better is two Chains with the Zander. Hello Ma, Lauren? Hi,
Speaker 1: how are you? How is this Lauren from Maths?
Speaker 7: No, it's not.
Speaker 1: Are you watching Maths? Married at her Son?
Speaker 5: I am? I am?
Speaker 1: Actually what do you make of that whole situation? Let's
Speaker 1: not going gosh?
Speaker 10: Yeah, no comment?
Speaker 2: Wait, come are you keeping up with Its one? I
Speaker 2: was going to say, not even I can anymore. I
Speaker 2: watched the first week and then I was like, I
Speaker 2: can't do it.
Speaker 1: There was some very awful stuff that happened this week.
Speaker 1: Though I know that much.
Speaker 2: It's just all a bit gross, very bad.
Speaker 9: Hello Britney, Hi, guys, how are you good.
Speaker 1: You get sick of people referring to you as Britney
Speaker 1: spears or like, you know, hey, why are you dancing
Speaker 1: with a knife? All that sort of stuff.
Speaker 8: I just don't like when they fill my.
Speaker 1: Yeah me neither see you're you. You're spelled correctly on
Speaker 1: my screen, bri double t A N Y.
Speaker 7: Yes, the correct way, all right.
Speaker 1: Brittany and Lauren, your names are your buzzes? Best of five.
Speaker 1: First person to get three answers correct wins. Bum Bag
Speaker 1: Question number one tropical cyclone Alfred is currently affecting which Yes,
Speaker 1: Britney Queensley. Yeah, it was major Australian city.
Speaker 2: But I'm going to give it to Brett.
Speaker 1: In what season do leaves fall off? Brittainentry, Yes, Brittany Autumn. Gee,
Speaker 1: you're quick, Brittany, you are like a whirling dervish with
Speaker 1: you know, smudge eye liner in a travetine foyer.
Speaker 2: Question number three Brittan's business. Yeah, there's no like, there's
Speaker 2: no band, there's no time for small Tours's.
Speaker 1: Not stuffing around here. Sixteen years ago today, Miley Cyrus
Speaker 1: released this song What's it called.
Speaker 2: Britney Again?
Speaker 6: It's the quorum?
Speaker 2: Should we just listen to it for a second.
Speaker 1: Can we just enjoy it? You're right, but the club, yes,
Speaker 1: you forget how good sixteen years Brittany, you've got yourself
Speaker 1: a bum bag. Lauren, you didn't stand a chance, not
Speaker 1: unlike Lauren from Married at First Sight, who was matched
Speaker 1: with an idiot.
Speaker 9: Actually actually call tickets the fashion tickets, and I've ended
Speaker 9: up doing the quit so I wasn't quite ready.
Speaker 1: You got neither.
Speaker 2: I'm going to send your Baker's Delight voucher for trying
Speaker 2: to come along to see me walk. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Thank you, appreciate it.
Speaker 2: And Brittany, enjoy that bum bag. And you're very matter
Speaker 2: of fact and I love that for you.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Guys, how fun? Gosh, that was very business slide, wasn't it.
Speaker 1: Let's do something unhinged.
Speaker 2: Let's do something cute ce next, Yes, let's talk about
Speaker 2: being cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah? Can we the Crissy Swan show? Great music today.
Speaker 1: I'm loving it, sick.
Speaker 2: This song still slaps.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, do o D. It wouldn't be
Speaker 1: half the song it was without do o D.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not even taking the PI doubles here. Do
Speaker 2: D has some tunes I've got DoD on my playlist.
Speaker 1: I'm just d D.
Speaker 2: I want to tell you the song that d produces
Speaker 2: that is that slaps stand for all Mine is a
Speaker 2: song by look, this is DoD. I'm just wait till
Speaker 2: it gets good at ready it's a manis.
Speaker 1: It sounds like a free song that you can use
Speaker 1: even it doesn't get it. You don't get in trouble
Speaker 1: on Instagram, leave alone. Listen to the Crisis Show on Nover.
Speaker 1: I mean we digressed, we went down a DoD wormhole there.
Speaker 1: But I want to bring you back. I want to
Speaker 1: talk about thirteen twenty four to ten. What have you
Speaker 1: got for free? Because you're kid?
Speaker 2: Are you super?
Speaker 1: Are you a cutie? Because cute people get free stuff?
Speaker 1: And I know that because I had a I've got
Speaker 1: three very cute children, but one of them in particular,
Speaker 1: just got free stuff all the time. It's the most
Speaker 1: unbelievable charisma I've ever seen.
Speaker 2: Kit leo Ah.
Speaker 1: Really, yes, I know, I've always I've never seen anything
Speaker 1: quite like it. Free stuff for cuteness. Yeah, And then
Speaker 1: I see this story. A toddler at home was playing
Speaker 1: with an old cell phone and you've got to be
Speaker 1: careful because even if it's a dumb phone, you know,
Speaker 1: which means that it doesn't you know, browse the internet
Speaker 1: or whatever, it can still make phone calls and it
Speaker 1: can still call NIM on one or you know, triple zero.
Speaker 2: Heregency.
Speaker 1: So this three year old has picked up the phone
Speaker 1: called nine one one because there is a significant and
Speaker 1: relatable emergency going on. It's sort of hard to understand.
Speaker 1: So I'll give you the hint. It's an emergency donut call.
Speaker 7: One.
Speaker 2: What's the address of your emergency.
Speaker 1: On one?
Speaker 2: What? Yes?
Speaker 1: Do you have an emergency?
Speaker 4: Like sag.
Speaker 1: He wants donuts donuts?
Speaker 5: I want donuts, donut.
Speaker 11: It's just.
Speaker 1: Emergency donuts, that's all.
Speaker 6: I want some donuts. Are you going to share your
Speaker 6: donuts standards?
Speaker 5: Can you tell me what kind of donuts you have?
Speaker 5: Do you have blueberry donuts?
Speaker 1: What a s.
Speaker 5: An emergency.
Speaker 7: Donuts?
Speaker 1: Emergency donuts?
Speaker 2: The operator clearly wasn't having a busy day because she
Speaker 2: was happy to chat and ask about flavors, and also.
Speaker 1: Has the operator ever eaten the donut? What is a
Speaker 1: blueberry donut? Get out with your blue but they don't exist.
Speaker 2: Blueberries belong on Greek yogurt, not in my donut.
Speaker 1: There is a blueberry muffin. Short, there are blueberry pancakes.
Speaker 1: There are not blueberry donuts. What is the superior donut?
Speaker 2: But original krispy Kreme originally original glazes?
Speaker 1: Agreed. If you can't get that though, the cinnamon donut,
Speaker 1: I'm dead.
Speaker 2: Yeah, true number two, but krispy Kreme original glasses.
Speaker 1: I did notice though, for years and years chrispy Kreme
Speaker 1: did not do the cinnamon donut. And I was in
Speaker 1: the serv yesterday getting some krispy Kreme original glaze and
Speaker 1: they've got cinnamon donuts now, and I didn't realize krispy
Speaker 1: Kreme do And I didn't get any no.
Speaker 2: Because they're just not required. If the glazings there.
Speaker 1: It's a hard choice. Thirty twenty four ten. What if
Speaker 1: you got for free because you're cute? Because this toddler
Speaker 1: put in that nine one one call, and guess what happened.
Speaker 1: The police turned up to his house with a dozen
Speaker 1: donuts from Duncan Donuts.
Speaker 2: Wow, they must have been busy, purely because.
Speaker 1: It must be a very safe part of America, purely
Speaker 1: because he was cute. And I have seen this before
Speaker 1: Leo when he was born. The cutest thing you've ever seen. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course every mother says that. But I would not
Speaker 1: be able to walk more than three meters if I
Speaker 1: took him shopping with me or something without a shopkeeper
Speaker 1: giving that kid something free. Really, he wouldn't even have
Speaker 1: to ask. People would come out of their little, independent
Speaker 1: run supermarkets and give him a Fredo frog. It was
Speaker 1: like they were caught in his track to be or
Speaker 1: he would be sitting, you know, on my hip, and
Speaker 1: the butcher or the deli person would be, you know,
Speaker 1: slicing off bits of mortadella to put in his chubby
Speaker 1: little hand, and I'm like, what is going on here?
Speaker 2: Actually, I can see how this would happen, casting my
Speaker 2: mind back to him entering the jungle when you're on
Speaker 2: I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: would give that kid anything.
Speaker 1: He really was, and he got all this stuff purely
Speaker 1: because he's a cutie.
Speaker 2: Thirteen twenty four to ten. What do you get because
Speaker 2: you're cute? Just for telling us, We're going to give
Speaker 2: you a double pass to the movies.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, Jack Dean Lewis is like an
Speaker 1: up vibe at a dinner party. Or just spit like
Speaker 1: shit's sad. You're listening to the Christy Swad Show. Oh no, Iver,
Speaker 1: I reckon. He gets free stuff because he's a cuty.
Speaker 2: He is a cute he remember we had him in
Speaker 2: last year. So cute, such a gentle, nice, tall gude.
Speaker 1: So well, this is the thing. I'd like that to
Speaker 1: be reflected in his music. There you go. A toddler
Speaker 1: in the US has called nine nine one with what
Speaker 1: I consider is a very legitimate emergency. It's the donut emergency. Yes,
Speaker 1: And off the back of that, the police turned up
Speaker 1: to his house with a dozen donuts from Dunkin Donuts
Speaker 1: because he's.
Speaker 2: Cute and a busy day for the cops over there.
Speaker 1: And people get cute, but get good stuff, free stuff
Speaker 1: all the time because they're cute. I have seen it
Speaker 1: firsthand with my firstborn son. He just got stuff thrown
Speaker 1: at him because he was like a teddy bear that
Speaker 1: had come to life. People couldn't believe their eyes.
Speaker 2: Was such an adorable kid. Do you remember when it stopped?
Speaker 1: So adorable that hadn't stopped. I'm still getting it, it
Speaker 1: hasn't stopped. It's just there is something magnetic about him. Jealous.
Speaker 1: Everyone's grandmother loves him. Everyone's mother loves him. Wensley a
Speaker 1: coming over here. He comes home with like trays of
Speaker 1: bucklovar from his friends. Like just people give him stuff.
Speaker 2: I love that for him. He's a lovable guy, a
Speaker 2: lovable What do you get just because you're cute?
Speaker 1: Hello, Georgia, Hello, how are you guys? I'm so good.
Speaker 1: I'm like a lovely person. Is it you that's cute
Speaker 1: or is it somebody that you've given birth to?
Speaker 4: Well, I think it's two myself and my four year
Speaker 4: old son good or we both have a haircut for
Speaker 4: three because they thought he was such a cutie, and
Speaker 4: they must have thought I was cute too.
Speaker 1: My god, depending on the hairdresser, you went to two haircuts,
Speaker 1: they probably saved you about seven thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: It feels like it had a handful of lollipops as well.
Speaker 2: We got Georgia. I would dream for a free haircut.
Speaker 2: With the amount of times I'm having to book for
Speaker 2: a haircut. How often are you and your son going?
Speaker 4: Oh, we go about once every eight ten weeks.
Speaker 2: Ah See, I'm fortnightly. I'd love a free fortnightly haircut.
Speaker 1: I'm once a year.
Speaker 11: You are.
Speaker 1: I've got a terrible hair dress.
Speaker 2: Of phobia Georgia. We're going to send you a family
Speaker 2: past to the Lost Tiger, which is in cinemas now.
Speaker 4: Oh lovely, thank you?
Speaker 1: Going? Hey, Annie, are you a cutie patuti? I? I God,
Speaker 1: you are going to get something for free in the
Speaker 1: next sixty seconds. What have you received because you're a
Speaker 1: cutie PATUITI?
Speaker 11: When I was two, I started getting like really obses
Speaker 11: with like Chanel and then POKEM Mademoiselle. And then on
Speaker 11: my third birthday, the worker at the front desk gave
Speaker 11: me a three free Chanel cupcake and a Chanel perfume
Speaker 11: like hair perfume.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is a hair perfume.
Speaker 2: That's fat, that is bougie. Now Annie, you're eleven now yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: do you still love Chanelle?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 11: But it's left Davis near us, So.
Speaker 2: It's what it's left David Jones near them.
Speaker 1: Devo, you can't even visit you can't even visit the
Speaker 1: interlocking seas.
Speaker 2: Annie. We are going to send you.
Speaker 1: A Anything we've got is going to sound povi.
Speaker 2: No, this is pretty good. A two hundred dollars out
Speaker 2: you for door dash so Oh my god, you and
Speaker 2: Monk can order some food. Annie, Yeah, thank you, that's.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Good luck with your pirottes. Annie, let's go to Luke. Luke,
Speaker 2: you or is someone you know?
Speaker 8: Someone I know? When we were kids, we used to
Speaker 8: always go yaddying down at the local creek, damn sort
Speaker 8: of thing, and we used to always purposely send my
Speaker 8: sister into the butcher's to get a cow's heart. And
Speaker 8: because she was so little and cute, they used to
Speaker 8: just give it to her for free because apparently they
Speaker 8: aren't cheap, but through the butchers, but because she was
Speaker 8: a little girl, and we used to purposely send her
Speaker 8: in and was she ever like every time?
Speaker 2: Was she like?
Speaker 1: Luke, I don't want to go on us for the
Speaker 1: cow's heart?
Speaker 8: No, because the money that the folks normally gave us
Speaker 8: to buy we then sent our lolly.
Speaker 1: Ah, how much can you remember how much a cow's
Speaker 1: heart was?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 8: I think it was like plenty, like four or five bucks.
Speaker 2: When you're oh, that is a lot.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of mick. Slowly, so I've.
Speaker 8: Gone back twenty thirty years ago.
Speaker 2: How cute, Luke. We're going to send you a double
Speaker 2: past to No. No, the k No Pain in Cinema's
Speaker 2: April three.
Speaker 1: Let's finish with you, Michelle, what did your door to get?
Speaker 1: Because she's a cutie? Patuti Hi, Christy Hijack Hi.
Speaker 5: My daughter is really bubbly and smiley, and everyone thinks
Speaker 5: she's just the besnies as is. But we were recently
Speaker 5: in Japan and she was quite upset because she had
Speaker 5: really wet socks and didn't want to go out on
Speaker 5: the snow again. So she was five years old, so
Speaker 5: we went looking looking looking for socks, and we found
Speaker 5: this little store. This lady was in their really tiny store.
Speaker 5: She didn't speak much English, but we were trying to
Speaker 5: explain that her socks were wet.
Speaker 9: So she took off the boots.
Speaker 5: She tries to look at them, she drives them out.
Speaker 5: Then she actually removed the footbed, she cut new footbeds.
Speaker 5: She put the new footbed beds in these rental boots.
Speaker 5: She got these socks, she put the socks on her.
Speaker 5: She gave her some gloves as well because her hands
Speaker 5: were wet, and then she didn't want.
Speaker 7: Any money for her.
Speaker 5: My husband felt so bad that he actually ended up
Speaker 5: buying some wax because.
Speaker 1: The shore ki.
Speaker 5: You know, one dollars worth of stuff because she was.
Speaker 2: How good is that? Miss? We're going to send you
Speaker 2: a two hundred dollars vout for door dash. I love
Speaker 2: that word. Kawai way the.
Speaker 1: Chrissy Swan Show. We're nearly out of here, but first.
Speaker 2: Chrissy's click fait.
Speaker 1: All right, So we're going to talk about Ben Affleck
Speaker 1: and Jennifer Garner.
Speaker 2: You're back together, ridiculous.
Speaker 1: They used to be together, split up. She's been a
Speaker 1: very supportive partner. They're still very good friends. They've got
Speaker 1: three kids together. You're about to show me a video
Speaker 1: that is going to change my mind.
Speaker 2: Well, they were attending their son's birthday party at a
Speaker 2: normal at a paintball place, all normal.
Speaker 1: Sam is his name Sally.
Speaker 2: And the paparazzi caught a video of them right now.
Speaker 2: Jen goes to shoot her gun, her paintball gun, and
Speaker 2: he hugs her, but the way he hugs herts sort
Speaker 2: of friendly hug man. Look at this.
Speaker 1: Okay, so they're standing together. He looks great, by the way, and.
Speaker 2: Then her okay, look there's a little hump there.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, he's steadying her so that she
Speaker 1: can shoot properly.
Speaker 2: Nah, they're doing it.
Speaker 1: I can tell you reckon, they're act together.
Speaker 2: I really want them to be. I love them as
Speaker 2: a couple, so I'm manifesting it.
Speaker 1: I must say that does look very very intimate, doesn't it.
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: For exus having said that, they're probably like brother and sister.
Speaker 2: Now, you know, look at the way I'm showing you
Speaker 2: another photo now of them leaving the paintball sense they
Speaker 2: look so happy, so happy. I haven't seen ben Affleck
Speaker 2: smile like that in years.
Speaker 1: They actually look alike. They look like the same person.
Speaker 2: Siblings are dating siblings.
Speaker 1: Look, you know, maybe it is on again.
Speaker 2: Would you not be happy to see that?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, of course I would. I love them. I
Speaker 1: love those two and they've really managed I think mainly
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give all the cutos to her,
Speaker 1: even though I think that's probably where it belongs. They've
Speaker 1: really done a great job in maintaining their kindness, you know,
Speaker 1: because of their three beautiful children.
Speaker 2: We'll put that footage on our Instagram at the Christy
Speaker 2: Swan Show so that people can see for themselves and
Speaker 2: make up their own mind.
Speaker 1: Did you read last week that Violet their eldest daughter,
Speaker 1: she's the eldest one I don't know has cut all
Speaker 1: ties with Jennifer Lopez. They used to be very Yeah,
Speaker 1: they used to be very very close, but then something
Speaker 1: happened and she's sort of gone no contact apparently.
Speaker 2: Maybe she read her newsletter on the j LO.
Speaker 1: Maybe Hey, you know, we were all really sad that
Speaker 1: Demi Moore didn't win the Oscar, but we don't have
Speaker 1: to beat. She was seen by a lip reader at
Speaker 1: the moment of defeat when Mikey Madison did win it
Speaker 1: saying nice and I did believe that from her because
Speaker 1: she's got daughters same age as he, and I feel
Speaker 1: like when someone really clever and the same age as
Speaker 1: your child wins something, you've got like pride by proxy.
Speaker 2: Yeah you put yourself in that mother's shoes instantly, or yeah,
Speaker 2: yes shoes.
Speaker 1: You can't feel bad, you just can't. It doesn't feel
Speaker 1: like you're losing. And I think that's that's a vibe
Speaker 1: I've gott and I think I'm right. And Mikey Madison
Speaker 1: has said that she texted with Demi after the oscars
Speaker 1: said I adore her. She is one of the sweetest,
Speaker 1: kindest women I've ever met, and I'm so grateful that
Speaker 1: I was able to meet her and witness her brilliance
Speaker 1: and talent in person. I adore her, and I can't
Speaker 1: wait to see what she does next, what kind of
Speaker 1: character she brings us. I think we're also ready and
Speaker 1: excited to see that.
Speaker 2: Yes, Queenie, I love that. I also think Demi is
Speaker 2: going to get another major blockbuster I do this year,
Speaker 2: and I feel like in the next few years she'll
Speaker 2: win an Oscar. The next one's got to be It
Speaker 2: is got to be Tim and jol her up next.
Speaker 2: What's today? It's Wednesday. They'll be spinning a wheel. I
Speaker 2: reckon show, will have a great night. Swadding Bye Chet.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more
Speaker 1: great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com.
Speaker 7: Do you