WEBVTT - A RELATIONSHIP UPDATE... 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:02.640 I want the fairy tale, I want the prince charming. 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.000 She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:07.800 my kissing style with. 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:11.000 A boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.760 a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching them mu. 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:17.239 I love being love, I love love. 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:20.360 On today's episode of Where's Your Head Out, we are 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:24.480 finally addressing what's been happening in our relationships. You guys 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.400 have been asking and we've been listening, so let's address 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:34.360 the elephant in the room. Where's Your Head At is 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:38.720 a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:41.240 trending shows, and everything in between. 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.239 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:46.560 intimate details, advice, and much more. 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.560 Hello, Matthew, going today. 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:57.160 I'm good. This is a bit of a different episode 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:57.720 for us. 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:02.240 This has kind of been We've almost done this episode 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:05.240 so many times, and then we've kind of been holding off, 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:06.759 and well, we've. 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:08.600 Had things going on in the podcast. Obviously, we had 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:12.800 Harry come on, then we had Claudia and and they 0:01:12.880 --> 0:01:14.920 stirred the pot, so we had to fall up on them. 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:17.160 We had a lot of guests coming into the end 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:20.320 of last year as well. Yeah, we've been focusing on them. 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:23.560 But we also realize that you guys tune into us 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:25.280 because you want to hear about what's going on in 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:29.880 our relationships. And for so long we did every week 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:34.480 basically we talked about what's been going on with our relationships, 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:38.600 and then there was obviously something that happened and we 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:44.000 kind of stopped basically addressing our relationships because we were 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:47.280 kind of just playing it by year. As you said, 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:50.000 we focus more on guests, but we have been listening 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.480 to you guys, and we do want to address what's 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:53.160 been happening. 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:55.440 So how has your life been then, Anna. 0:01:56.160 --> 0:01:58.160 So my life's been really good. 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:03.480 We just booked our engagement venue, we've booked our wedding venue, 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:07.760 so yeah, we're just kind of like doing all the planning. 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:10.240 The invites went out for our engagement party in April, 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:13.200 which we're getting super excited about. On the weekends, we 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:16.400 were actually at an engagement party and it was really nice. 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:17.720 There was a lot of love in the room, and 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.720 I was just I just felt really excited because, you know, 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:23.600 I was a little unsure if we were going to 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:26.600 do an engagement party because it is you know, another expense. 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:29.320 It's more more saving to do. 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:32.440 But yeah, we're going to have our wedding in Greece, 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.480 in Corfu, so we know that a lot of people 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:37.520 aren't going to be able to come because it is 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.799 far away. So I think we made the decision to 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:45.680 basically do kind of a little bit bigger engagement party 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:48.880 and we're going to have a really small, very intimate 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:51.720 wedding with our close friends and family. 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:53.160 Obviously you're going to be there. 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:58.639 Four Matt started saving, already ready to go. 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:00.560 So what's your engagement part? Are you going to have 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:01.680 a bit more people there? 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:04.600 Yeah, so I think like about eighty to ninety people. 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:09.720 What ship That reminds me? I don't know if I 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.480 can make it. Ben's fight? Is that night to what 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:14.240 for your engagement party? 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:15.679 Ben's fight? 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:16.639 Yeah? 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:20.320 No, it's not. You're lying to God and. 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:21.920 He really wants me to come and like, you know, 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:23.720 it's been my best mate for life and all that shit. 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:30.040 Are you taking the piss? You're taking the piers. 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.239 I forgot to tell you you're. 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:35.000 Not You're actually not going to come to my engagement party. Look, 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:40.080 I'm actually shook. I can't come. 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:42.280 We'll just cut that bit it's fine. 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:45.080 What do you mean you can't come? You have to come? 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:48.960 It's a fight, Like, who cares if you get come 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:49.320 to watch me? 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:50.960 So what. 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:54.520 You are taking the piers, aren't you? 0:03:56.680 --> 0:03:57.840 Oh god? 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:00.600 Why would did you do this? 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:02.880 I forgot I was going to do that, and then 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:04.520 as he was talking about it, I was like, oh, fuck, 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:06.120 I've got to do that. 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:07.760 That's what you planned to trick me? 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:09.320 Yeah I did, I just didn't know when I was 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.480 going to do it. Obviously Ben's having a fight and 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:13.080 I really want to watch him. I'll live stream it 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:14.280 from your engagement party. 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:17.360 So your live streaming from my engagement party, I reckon 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:17.840 know you won't. 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.799 You'll be enjoying and embracing the love that I share 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:21.520 with Michael. 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:23.479 Yes, I would be doing that as well. I have 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:25.560 it in my pocket watching it. But yeah, Ben's fighting, 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:27.760 so I thought, yeah, I forgot all about that till 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:29.240 you started talking about it, and I was like, that's 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:29.640 why I'm going. 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:30.120 To pray it. 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:31.680 Lucky. 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:34.640 My reaction wasn't bad there. I could have really gone. 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:37.600 That's what I was thinking as well. I was like, fuck, 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.520 Like if she reacts like bad, mad, I was like, 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:42.320 this is going to be turned fucking. 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:48.640 So yeah, we have the engagement party, very excited and 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:49.839 that's definitely coming. 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:52.760 I am. That was my little just joke there also. 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:53.400 Coming to the wedding. 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:56.800 And also one other thing that's just happened is we 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:59.640 booked flights to Europe this year. We've put a deposit 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:02.880 on a wedding venue in Corfu. But Michael and I 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:06.440 have both never been to Corfu, so we've obviously never 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:09.440 seen the wedding venue, so like we could be getting 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:10.640 catfished on this location. 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:12.240 It looks beautiful. 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.440 I said that last time. Man, if you rock half 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:16.600 and it's like some real do you know like those 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:18.320 I'm picturing. I know it's a different country, but you 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:21.760 know those like old Italy sort of like houses. Yeah, 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:24.920 it's nice from Afar and then commun. 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:27.320 Yeah, well it is on an estate and the estate 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.760 has been like renovated over the years, so there will 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:31.720 be parts of it that will be a little bit older. 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:35.800 But I'm just hoping that it looks beautiful, that's all, because. 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:38.039 It does look beautiful on the photos. Let's hope I'm 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:41.120 not getting catfish, because I'll be sad and I still 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:42.240 will be having my wedding there. 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.160 Because the deposit's gone. 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:47.039 Now, so regardless of if it's good or shit, we 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:48.160 will be getting married there. 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:50.440 Fair. That is brave to pay a deposit on some 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:52.920 way you haven't visited or seen before, But I guess 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:54.440 that's the nature of the beast, isn't it. 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:57.320 Well it's weird though, because I've done so much research 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.920 on wedding venues in Greece, I actually thought there was 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:03.520 going to be way more that I would love, But 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:06.360 to be honest, there was only like maybe two or 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.960 three that I really loved, and this one that I 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:10.760 did end up booking was one of the ones that 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:11.279 I loved. 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.000 So, I mean, what's the accommodation? 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:18.080 Like, so basically we're getting married on an estate. It's 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:21.040 a nine bedroom estate so close. Family will stay there. 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:24.320 But then there's also like there's a five star hotel 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:26.560 like five minutes away, or you can. 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.760 Stay at the little backpackers down the road. Matt, let's 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:30.560 cut your name on it. 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.360 Remer backpackers there, what's survive that I've had some of 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.080 my best times in backpackers hostile? 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:37.480 No, it's actually not a backpacker. 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:40.200 It's just like it looks like this Greek guy's house 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:41.480 that he's renting out rooms. 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:44.279 So that's why I kind of said that anyway, he's. 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:50.880 There where I'm saying, well, that's all exciting, it's all moving, 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:51.880 everything's moving. 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:55.919 Yeah, for the wedding obviously, you know there has been 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:59.360 a little bit of speculation from people who listen to 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:04.719 the podcast that you have recently gone through a breakup. 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:07.080 That was something that. 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:10.160 We've actually we've kind of been going back and forth 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:11.760 and kind of bickering a little bit. 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:13.200 Do we tell people do we not? 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:17.680 Like obviously, we've signed up to share our relationships with 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:20.840 you guys having a relationship podcast, So it's really tricky 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:23.760 and it's such a balance when there is things going 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:28.400 on in your personal life and when things aren't one 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.760 hundred percent set in stone, you don't want to like 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:34.600 tell things too early or too late or whatever. So 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.320 I guess the question that I have for you, Matt, 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:40.520 is what is going on in your relationship? 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.520 Well, yes, so I understand that obviously, and I appreciate 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:46.960 everyone that listens to the podcast, and I understand that 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.400 you guys want to hear about our relationship and that's 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.560 why we signed up to do this podcast. And I 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.520 completely understand and respect that. But at the same time, 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:59.080 like we are, we are still humans. We still are, 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:02.040 we still have life and what's going on, and as 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:04.200 open as I am and love to be, I still 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:08.440 need privacy in that respect to figure shit out. I'll 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:12.960 start from the beginning. So late last year, obviously, Jen's 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:17.760 older sister had a kid, Gus. Beautiful kid, you know, 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:23.080 just good kid or gorgeous. Yeah, I And if you 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:26.160 listen to this story, guys, you'll understand why. Like it's 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.960 not as easy as coming on a podcast each week 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:33.520 and just sharing your things. So she obviously sees Gus, 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:36.480 it's her nephew. She's in love with this kid. And me, 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:41.800 from my position and the pardicument, I'm in see Jen 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:44.520 pushing thirty. I'm not going to beat around the bushes. 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:48.440 Women have body clocks. I understand that she's thirty. She 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:52.240 sees Gus, her ovaries are tickling. I can't give her that. 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.840 So I like sat around for a bit on it. 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.400 It was sort of eating me from the inside. I 0:08:58.480 --> 0:08:59.560 was sort of like, you know what, Like I see 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:02.080 him hanging out and it sort of almost made me, 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:05.680 in a weird way, disconnect from Gus. When we would 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:08.280 see him and the family like because it's weird, it's 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:11.240 hard to explain. And then it was sort of called out, 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.160 why don't I care like about dust stories or photos? 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.280 And I just said, I said, look, I'm gonna be 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.600 frank with you, like I can't give you that. And 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:20.960 it's something that's sort of like playing on my mind. 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:24.600 And I know Jen said that she's happy to not 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:26.760 have kids with me, and I understood that she said that, 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:28.480 but that was it. The next day or two days 0:09:28.480 --> 0:09:32.720 into seeing me, right, things have changed since then, and 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.920 we had just a serious chat about it and we 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:38.280 just said that's something, and then it just flowed into 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:41.000 like other chats like I said, look, people, your sister 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.920 getting engaged, my sister getting engaged, Anna getting engaged, because 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.160 she said I started acting weird since NICKI got engaged, 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.600 and I said, it just triggered something in me that like, 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.160 I don't think that I want to get engaged anytime soon. 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:55.360 And I know that Jen and God love her and 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:58.760 I love her, wants to get engaged. Every day I 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.160 feel is like a day too that she isn't engaged 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:03.240 to me, and I'm like, well, I don't don't. I 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:06.200 don't want to be engaged. And how I keep saying 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:08.880 it to her is I put this hypothetical thing right. 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:11.360 I still want to travel, I still want to do Europe, 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:12.600 and I still want to do a marry her again. 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:14.040 And don't get me wrong, I'm happy to do this 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:15.760 all with her. I'm happy to do this all with her. 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:17.920 I still I want to buy a house, I want 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:19.680 to do this podcast, I want this to take off. 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.280 I've I've got career goals. I've got like all this stuff. 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:25.320 I want to do all this stuff that is going 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.280 to cost money, and then you've got to put on 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:30.160 top of that the IVF, like all that sort of 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.880 stuff like weddings, honeymoons, all this stuff. And I said, 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:35.959 like when will I be financially ready to have all 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:38.520 this money to do this? I said, I'm like another 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:40.640 six to seven years off, plus like my career that 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:42.360 I want to I still want to invest into that. 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:45.200 My time and energying stressful. It's very stressful. 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:46.400 So that's sort yeah, that's sort of what I was 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:47.960 trying to say to her that like, and I know 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:50.840 that you're on a bodycock. I know you're on like 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.280 you're and I don't want to waste her time, and 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.840 I don't want to waste my time. So late last 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.480 year we took some time just swiss sales. I think 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.720 it was pretty evidence through the podcast, yeah, to just 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:03.120 think what we wanted. Back to the kid thing as well, 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:05.520 something that was flagged with me as well was obviously 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:09.840 Nicky's engaged and so she's planning with her other sister 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:13.400 Sam to have a joint like a pregnancy to try 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:16.640 FA pregnant at the same time, and Jen was slack, 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:17.800 and I was like, fuck lack. 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.880 So there's three sisters, and then you feel like Jen's 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.920 getting kind of left out almost yeah. 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.640 And I sort of was like, I don't want to 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:27.520 take that away from you. And I said to her, 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.680 I said to her multiple times, I'm happy to leave, 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:35.400 walk away and see you on Instagram or on social media, 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.280 or get told by someone that in like two years 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:39.079 from now or a year from now, that you've met 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.040 someone and you're pregnant and you're gonna have a kid. 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:43.720 And I said I would like it would actually bring 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:46.200 me joy. And then she was like, well, I don't 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:47.719 want to have a kid with anyone else. I love you, 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.040 And I said, yeah, I know, but I don't want 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.000 I don't know. I don't want you to give up that. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:53.760 And I think that she said, well, you knew that 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.240 what your position, And I said, but I think because 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.520 I came on this podcast and I spoke about my IVF, 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.040 I spoke about my infertility, and I was so open 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.959 about it, I think that people almost got a misconception 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:06.920 that I was okay with it. Yeah, where I don't 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:12.040 think that I have fully grasped the severity of the situation. Yeah, 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:14.880 like I said on that episode, twenty five year old 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.319 me doesn't care, but thirty five year old me, that's 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:19.760 who I'm worried about, and care about older men when 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:23.200 it's a serious situation. So we obviously took some time. 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:26.560 We thought about everything. Also, in this time, jen Struggle 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:30.760 was a bit with the public side of what comes 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:35.200 dating me, this podcast, the social media, she struggles. She's 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.720 you know that firsthand. She's a very private girl. One 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:42.480 thing that that was reported when people, this media person 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:45.120 said that we had broken up, said that I'd stopped 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:47.680 tagging her in photos old photos, which means were blocked. 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:49.600 We're not blocked. We still follow each other. She's just 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:53.360 never asked me to tag her in my post on Instagram. 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:56.240 Yes story, she says, Okay, so she can Reassember, but 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.040 she never wanted tiles to be tagged in them. Yeah, 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.439 so she was always a bit on that. She obviously 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:03.400 we constantly invited to come on the podcast. 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.440 We've tried to get on the podcast so many times, 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:09.040 and like you guys always ask us, and we obviously 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:12.000 want to respect Jen's privacy and it's our choice to 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.120 kind of share our lives, but it's not. 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.760 And then she and then she I said, like I've 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:18.679 gone with like you knew this when you start dating me. 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:20.360 I had a podcast, this is all you knew this. 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:22.719 And she said, well I didn't understand it then, and 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:25.800 I didn't get like what comes with it. Like for instance, 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:27.640 when the Psidekicks said that we were going to break 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:29.720 up and there was like media articles about it, she 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:32.360 cried for three days straight about that, and it's like 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.320 you understand that she's not in this, Like I can 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.720 see those articles. I can see people speculate we've broken up, and. 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:39.280 It doesn't affect it. 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:41.080 It doesn't affect me. No, it doesn't affect me. I 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.320 just don't have like funny like it. But then again, 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.640 like we chose to be here. I guess she chose 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.440 as well, but I don't think she understood what comes 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:50.320 with it. And some people say I haven't posted her, 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:53.200 we haven't spoken about it. Obviously, when you're trying to 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:57.199 figure out something that's so so big and isn't like 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.560 it isn't as simple as like, do you know what 0:13:59.600 --> 0:13:59.880 I mean? 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:01.760 Yeah, absolutely, it's. 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:04.240 Like something massive that we're trying to figure out. We 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.240 don't want to post us all over social media. I 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:08.839 don't want to put it out there. I just want 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:09.640 to like you're. 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:10.920 Trying to figure it out basically. 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:15.880 And also, my goal in twenty twenty three was my 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:20.880 news resolution was to be better. So I've obviously taken 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:24.360 that head on. I'm seeing a therapist, like I'm trying 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:26.400 to be better, I'm trying to work on myself, and 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:29.120 I'm going to talk to them obviously about the whole 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.360 infertility thing, the whole like try just fully wrap my 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:35.000 head around it so I understand it and I understand 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:37.120 what comes with that as well. 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:39.960 Firstly, I want to start by saying that I'm so 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:43.360 sorry you're feeling this way because obviously, you know we've 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:48.720 spoken about your infertility on the podcast and offline, off 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:52.160 the podcast many times. But it is as a friend, 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:55.960 super difficult to hear that you're really struggling with this 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:59.040 at the moment. And I guess it's really the first 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:04.640 sign of you struggling with your infertility is basically seeing 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:06.680 Jen with her sister's. 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:09.240 Baby, and that's got to be really difficult for you. 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:12.320 Oh yeah, it was because I love Jen and I 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:15.760 still do. I do, and I'm seeing her like with 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.400 the baby and then knowing that I can't give her that, 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:20.840 Like I said to her, like the one thing that 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.320 I've put on this earth to do, I can't do, 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.000 Like as a male, the one thing that I was 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.000 meant to do, I cannot do. What would hurt me 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:32.840 and what would piss me off is if we continue 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:36.680 today and then in three years from now, you know, 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:39.080 like she sees her sisters get pregnant at the same 0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:42.120 time her twin sister has a kid for crying out loud, 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:43.680 do you know what I mean? And it's basically half 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:47.720 her and then she grows to resent me, Like I. 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:49.760 Just want to say as well, I think that you 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:53.760 have a much bigger purpose than to have kids on 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:54.400 this planet. 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:57.320 And I think that genuinely. 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:01.400 Even you sharing your infertility struggles as a guy, Like 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.520 there's no other guy even still that has come out 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:07.880 with that. Like you are like a face of infertility 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.080 almost to a lot of people, and like you've helped 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:13.840 so many people even just with that episode, and like 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.400 we have so many goals that we're going to smash 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:20.320 this year, and your purpose isn't just to have kids. 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.920 Yeah, So I don't want you to ever feel that, you. 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:26.800 Know, that's yeah, but it's more like that's my cross 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:30.080 to bear. Yeah, I mean, like I don't want to 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.720 take it away from anyone else. And like, and I 0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:36.320 know that Jen can say like now she says she's okay, 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:38.560 and I do believe her that she's okay with it 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.640 right now, but it's in the future. 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:45.200 You're also twenty seven that like, oh that's the thing. 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:47.880 Yeah, that's and that's a good point. So like she 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.120 was like, well, what do you want because I've always said, 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:51.440 like I want to be a dad, like of a son, 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:53.080 Like that's what I want. I want to have a son, 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:54.840 and I won't be there for my son. And then 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.080 she was like you said all this stuff. She's like, 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.120 what do you want? And I said Jen, I'm twenty seven. 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:01.720 I'm like, I don't need to know what I want, 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:05.119 and that's okay to not know what I want. I 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.760 put a hypothetical, I've said it to you, like thirty 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:10.080 fourths like thirty five, Like I don't like you know 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.040 what I mean, Like so you can see yourself like 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.720 wanting to maybe go down the path of like IVF 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:17.960 at like thirty four which isn't anytime sex anytime soon. 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:20.119 Like you need a financial backing to do it. You 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.959 need to be in a place I think where you 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:27.680 have achieved a lot that you want to achieve because 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:29.119 it's going to put a lot of your energy and 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:30.719 a lot of your time into it. And I just 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:32.560 stressed that to Jen, and I said that I don't 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:36.240 think that's the same timeline for you. We're still together, Jen, 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:38.720 and I like, I don't want to be fake. I 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:40.680 don't want to jump on this podcast and be like, oh, 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:42.960 like tiptoeing on tulips, you know what I mean? Like 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:47.480 I want to give the audience me and the honest truth. 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:53.000 But I don't feel like I can when behind closed doors, 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:54.600 You've still got to figuring this out. 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.960 You know, there's a lot of complexities that come with 0:17:57.040 --> 0:17:59.840 this situation. It's not a case of like two p 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:01.240 people falling out of love. 0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:03.400 Yeah, exactly. Yeah. 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:06.560 Is it maybe that like you're twenty seven and she's thirty, 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:08.800 and maybe like the timing is off. 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.200 There is a lot about that as well. Yeah, yecause, 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.679 like I said, did women have a body clock? And 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:17.120 then we spoke about freezing some eggs. Trust me, We're 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:21.119 talking about every avenue, every option about this. I just 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.280 want to figure it out and just you know, like 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:25.480