1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land, always was, always 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey chicks, I'm out and I 3 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,319 Speaker 1: am and this is two broad Chicks, the show that 4 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help make you rich 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: in life. Sorry, I made it funny right before we 6 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: started recording. I like when we have the little off kilter, 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: off kilter intros, you know, real speaking of real for 8 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: a juicy episode today, because we're back with another Chicks 9 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: Chat advice with the chicks. You chick sent in your 10 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: diabolical dilemmas, and we're going to be reacting giving our 11 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 1: two cents and advice were needed not to be followed 12 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: for legal reasons. Absolutely, don't take a grain of salt. 13 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 1: Have a whole bag. Yeah, ready to go. First you 14 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 1: get the sugar, then you'll get I don't know what 15 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: the quote is, but we haven't read these, so they 16 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:05,680 Speaker 1: will be fresh reactions. I'm scared excited. I'm titilated. One 17 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: might say titilated, one might say to eighty. Certain Harold 18 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: styles might say stop, we already spoke about it. Anyway, 19 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:18,119 Speaker 1: last episode, before weing back, before we get into the dilemmas, 20 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: shall we kick things off with our life lessons of 21 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: the week. Oh wish, all right, what do you learn? So? 22 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: A new study has found that Ossie's now believe earning 23 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 1: less than one hundred and forty thousand dollars a year 24 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: makes you poor. Yep. A new study from Finder has 25 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: found Ozzie's believe you have to earn at least one 26 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: hundred and forty thousand a year for it to be 27 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 1: considered a good salary, mostly thanks to the rising cost 28 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: of living. And that's obviously a fair bit more than 29 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: the typical Australian income of ninety k. How we helped 30 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: the restaurant. Yeah, I just hope that that helps people 31 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 1: realize that if you are feeling overwhelmed by the cost 32 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: of living, you feel like you might be behind, you're 33 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: not earning enough, like you are not alone one thousand nationwide. 34 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: Feel like that is a stupidly high number for that 35 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: to be like, that's a good salary. I remember like 36 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: a six figure salary being like whoaha, whoa, whoa, wha, 37 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: wha what And now I'm like, that's the media, that's crazy. Yeah, 38 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 1: I don't understand how we're not treating this gossip living 39 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: crisis as a crisis Helleu. But yeah, I thought that 40 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: was one a very sobering study, but to a good 41 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,680 Speaker 1: reminder to be like, if you feel like you're bad 42 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: with money, if you feel like you're behind, if you 43 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: feel like shit, is this only me that I'm like 44 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: stressing over by engroceries. It's not just you. Like, You're 45 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: not alone exactly what you just said. My life lesson 46 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: of the week is how to remove ai slop from 47 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: your Pinterest. Are you excited? I'm titillated. So I'll put 48 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: a credit link to the Instagram reel that I saw 49 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: this from in the show notes. But it's actually really easy. 50 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 1: So in Pinterest, go to your account, then go to 51 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: refine your recommendations, and then click gen ai interests and 52 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: you can unselect all of the categories so like fashion categorize. Wow, 53 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: that's how much there is. Yeah, do you know what? 54 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: I had an AD blocker running on my desktop and 55 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: I was on Pinterest, and I kid you fucking not, 56 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: the whole page was white because ads. Yeah, all ads, 57 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: So you can still use the hack as well. I 58 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: rechecked it. I said it that if you hide five 59 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: or more ads using like the three dots that are 60 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: under the image and you click the three dots and 61 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: you click hide, and you do that for like five 62 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: or more and then reload. You won't get ads for 63 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 1: a little bit until it reads cases and then you 64 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: just do it again. 65 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. 66 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, Pinterest needs to sort that out. I fucking love Pinterest, 67 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: but like it can be when you're looking for hair 68 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: in spo, well, the makeup in spo. That was exactly 69 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: the trouble I was having. The thing is you take 70 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: a hair and spo pick to the salon or to 71 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: do your makeup, and the amount of times hairstyles have 72 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 1: to go that's AI. Yeah, Mama, that's weird. That's weird, 73 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: as we said, Mama's but yeah, you're welcome. I love that, 74 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: thank you, because as well with books as well as 75 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: heaps of AI stuff, and I really try to like 76 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: avoid it in terms of pulling in like fan art 77 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: and stuff, but it's really fucking hard to tell. I know, 78 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 1: I'm ashamed to admit I'm probably one of the worst 79 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:53,359 Speaker 1: AI spotters in the fucking world. I fall for every 80 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: fucking AI video that exists. There was one like a 81 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 1: Golden Retriever but recently and I was like wow, and 82 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: then Rob like that's AI, and I was like what. 83 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: And I go to the comments and everyone's like, oh, 84 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: I'm like ah love that love that kind of stuff. 85 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: Should we get into our diabolical the Letts locked in 86 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: the Lemon Number one. My bestie and I have been 87 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: besties since we were eight years old. We lived overseas together, 88 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 1: holiday together, our families love each other, and we share 89 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 1: so many friends. They've introduced me to so many people 90 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 1: and opened my world completely. The problem is I cannot 91 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: stand their new other best friend locked in. This person 92 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: actually is not a new friend, as they went to 93 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: high school together, but I feel like they're best friendship 94 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: blossomed a few years ago. I would like to make 95 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 1: it clear that I'm unbothered that they're besties. The more 96 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: besties in life, the merrier, I say, that's not what 97 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: this is. I've not really vibed this person since high 98 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 1: school and just find them hard to be around. To me, 99 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: they can be really rude and give crazy, spoiled brat 100 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: self important. I get whatever I want energy. They only 101 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: ever speak to me when they want or need something 102 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 1: just not my vibe. Really sums it up. The reason 103 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: I can't confide in anyone is because we all run 104 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: in very similar circles, and all of my closest friends 105 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: seem to like them, which makes me think I'm the problem. 106 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: My friends in other circles agree with me, though, and 107 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: think they're really rude. I've gotten to the point now 108 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: where I will actively avoid hangouts with my bestie when 109 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 1: I know this person will be there. There have been 110 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: times where I've said yes, I'm free, and then when 111 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: I found out they'll be there, I've made up an 112 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 1: excuse not to go. The worst part is that I 113 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 1: fear my bestie is changing and sometimes acting obnoxiously. I 114 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,600 Speaker 1: love them with my whole heart, and I would die 115 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: if I lost this friendship. I don't know what to do. 116 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: I can't pretend I enjoy their company for the rest 117 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 1: of my life. But am I risking my friendship with 118 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 1: my bestie not to mention my entire group beaking up? Oh, 119 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:06,040 Speaker 1: that is a tricky one. That is really tricky. I 120 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 1: do like that she has acknowledged that people can have 121 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: more than one best friend. Yeah. I feel like she's 122 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: got a very good thread of self awareness running. Yeah, 123 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: because if she hadn't said that, I'd be like, is 124 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: there a bit of jealousy seeping in, which also would 125 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: be completely normal if you've had a best friend since 126 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: you were eight and then you have a shared friend together, 127 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: and then in recent years they've had their friendship has 128 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,679 Speaker 1: grown and has changed into something new. This is really 129 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 1: tough though, because it's sad, because she's kind of isolating 130 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: herself from her friend and their group of friends to 131 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: avoid this one person. I do think this trajectory would 132 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: if you stayed on this course, would potentially evolve into 133 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: distance between you and your bestie. Yeah, because you're actively 134 00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:00,040 Speaker 1: avoiding her and maybe your bestie doesn't realize this. I 135 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: feel like the first step would be confiding in like 136 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: a safe person, because sometimes sometimes all you need is 137 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: a good rant, yeah, and you can kind of get 138 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: over it, like if you've got if you can get 139 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: it out of your system with a good rant or something. 140 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: I feel like this is probably beyond that point potentially, 141 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 1: but confiding in someone is important here, whether it's a parent, 142 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: a sibling, a cousin family member. She mentioned that she 143 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,559 Speaker 1: had a separate group of friends that you know also 144 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: kind of see some of the traits you want to 145 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: be conscious of. Not getting ramped up though, Yeah, that's 146 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: what I would just someone like egging you up. Yeah, 147 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,960 Speaker 1: like if you went to your other group of friends 148 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 1: and they're like, yeah, we fucking hate gets a gap. 149 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: I hate it. I'm going to buy Jessica. But yeah, 150 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 1: you want to be conscious that someone's not gonna kind 151 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: of be like yeah, get it, you're so right and 152 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: then you end up really amped. Yeah, but I think 153 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: talking to others who also know your best you can 154 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: kind of give a temperature check on the situation and 155 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 1: your bestie's behavior too, to kind of give you a 156 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 1: look in, to kind of give that objective point of 157 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:16,479 Speaker 1: view with something that's not too close to the situation. Yeah, 158 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: because my only concern is that, like the other piece 159 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 1: of advice would be to like speak to your best 160 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,439 Speaker 1: friend about it and like actually share how you're feeling. 161 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: But if they're really close, you would just have to 162 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: tread very very carefully about how you approached that. You know, 163 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 1: you would really need to lean into the this is 164 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: how this makes me feel exactly and because really not 165 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: using any like accusatory tones. So let's say this person 166 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,199 Speaker 1: she doesn't like. His name is Megan. Megan, thank you, 167 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: So your best friend's name is Bronwin. Yeah, and the 168 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: person that we don't like is Meghan. Yeah, so you 169 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 1: could go to Bronwin and you could say, I just 170 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: feel like when I spend time with Megan, I end 171 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 1: up feel kind of bad about myself, Like when Meghan 172 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 1: says this, it makes me feel like this and those 173 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 1: kind of situations. And really, so I would really appreciate 174 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: it if maybe we could spend a bit more one 175 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 1: on one time together. Yeah, I do. I think it's like, 176 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 1: you can't control who bron Win is friends with, but 177 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: you can control your friendship with her. Like looking at 178 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 1: the situation, Okay, what can I control? What can't I control? 179 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: And what you don't want to do is you don't 180 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,719 Speaker 1: want to lose your friend. That person does exist in 181 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: friendship groups, but people can coexist, like we're all adults 182 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. And like she mentioned that, 183 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: you know other people don't have that issue with Megan, 184 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,679 Speaker 1: So maybe trying to have that one on one and 185 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:45,079 Speaker 1: close time with your friend is helpful. Yeah, And because 186 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: if you have more time with your friend as well, 187 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: more one on one quality time, you'll probably also have 188 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: less resentment towards Megan, which means that when something comes up, 189 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: like a birthday or a group situation, you'll probably be 190 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: able to put some of those feelings aside and suck 191 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: it up a little bit and still go because you 192 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: don't want to be saying no to every single thing 193 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 1: when you love ninety percent of the people that are there, 194 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,079 Speaker 1: and then there's one person who you don't because you're 195 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: really myself at that point. Yeah, And of course it 196 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,680 Speaker 1: would be a different situation if maybe this person was 197 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: like truly toxic, you know, made you feel like genuinely 198 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: unsafely and uncomfortable. Yeah, it seems more. It seems more 199 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: along the vibe of exactly what she said, just not 200 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: my vibe really sums it up. It doesn't sound like 201 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 1: it's super super toxic, which is where I think we're 202 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: coming from. It's just a personality clash. Yeah. And then yeah, 203 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,200 Speaker 1: so have the conversation with somebody who can be a 204 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 1: bit of a safe space that's maybe a bit of 205 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 1: a third party potentially. Then have a chat with your 206 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: best friend and try and put in some more one 207 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: on one time with them. Continue to include yourself in 208 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: the group's situations, and figure out whatever that coping mechanism 209 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: is for you. So that you aren't excluding yourself. And 210 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 1: then maybe after you've tried those things and you feel 211 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 1: like your friend is continuing to change, like your relationship 212 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: with your best friend with Bronwyn is continuing to change 213 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: because she is becoming more and more like Megan, then 214 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: maybe you need to reassess what you're getting from that friendship. 215 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: I don't think that we're there yet. I don't think 216 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: so either, but I think it's a good thing to 217 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: note that. You know, friendships can be a reason a 218 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:27,080 Speaker 1: season or a lifetime. Hmmm. So yeah, even if you 219 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: were friends since you were eight, it doesn't mean you 220 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 1: have to be friends forever if it's no longer serving it. Yeah, 221 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 1: I think the most important part is keeping a support 222 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 1: system around yourself. What's the saying It's like biting the 223 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: hand that feeds your spitting in your eye, it cost yourself. 224 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: What's that one? Biding the hand that's something despite yourself? 225 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: Does anyone know that saying? Oh? Just yeah, don't cut 226 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: off your nose to spite your face. I've been informed. 227 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,079 Speaker 1: Yeah have you heard not heard that one? But I 228 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 1: don't know if I have. I like it. It's giving 229 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: Vincent Van Goh in a way there you go. Don't 230 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 1: bring the children into this. There were two of us 231 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: in this marriage. I hope that helps, but I know 232 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: I just want to send you a hug and a 233 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: kiss on the full head. Love you, Chicky. Correct, sit 234 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: on Mommy's lemon number. Don't make it weird the lemon 235 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 1: number two. I'm due to return to work next year 236 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: after three years of maternity leave. The schedule will be 237 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 1: three days a week. I'm not going back for money, 238 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: more to hold my job as it's a really good 239 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 1: job that I love. I work from home with amazing pay. 240 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 1: I'm worried They've offered three days for one year and 241 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 1: after that it will be full time, which I won't 242 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 1: be doing as I have two kids under two and 243 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 1: the hours just won't work and I'm a parent first. 244 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: Now should I go back and work the year seeing 245 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,320 Speaker 1: if they can extend the part time hours for the 246 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: following year since I was always a top performer at work, 247 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: or just resign as money isn't an issue and I 248 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: don't want to lose that time I'll have with my kids. 249 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 1: Or should I put them in daycare for ten hours 250 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: a day, five days a week. Once going full time, 251 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: I had quite a fertility journey and a hysterectomy, so 252 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: we'll never get this time again. Holy shit. So hysterectomy 253 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:13,640 Speaker 1: is when you have your right Yeah. Wow, wow, that's huge. 254 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: First of all, congratulations on your beautiful family, so exciting 255 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: after everything that you've gone through, especially and I do 256 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: think that a lot of people who like neither of 257 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 1: us have had children. Baby, Yeah exactly, you are mestern 258 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: So the perspective that we'd be giving would be really 259 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 1: different from say, somebody who's had children, But from my 260 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: friends who have had kids, they've all returned back to 261 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 1: work right and are very career oriented people, Like it 262 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: sounds like this person is too, But it is amazing 263 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: how your priorities do change, and that being a parent 264 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: is your first priority. Yeah, And I think that is 265 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 1: a very very normal and natural feeling. So I just 266 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 1: want to like say that first off, that I hope 267 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: you're not feeling any sort of shame or judge man 268 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: or pressure to not have that be your priority, because yeah, 269 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: that is definitely the like women do it all. Women 270 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: can do it all. You don't have to, ye and 271 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: you can, yeah, but it's to I do think in 272 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: this like this is obviously a very deeply personal decision 273 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,480 Speaker 1: to make, especially with her fertility journey. Definitely at the top, 274 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: she says, I really love the job and I'm really 275 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 1: good at it. Obviously different because like I don't know kids, 276 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 1: blah blah blah, but like this is such a fucking 277 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: me thing to a way of thinking, what if this happens, 278 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 1: and then this happens, and then I'll do this, which 279 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: absolutely you need to do once you have kids, because 280 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: you've got to kind of figure that out exactly. But 281 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: like my knee jerk thought for this was like, well, 282 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 1: if three days works for you now and you enjoy 283 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 1: it and you like the job, do the year and 284 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: kind of like what you're saying, like show them being 285 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 1: like I can get five days worth of work done 286 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: because I excel in this role. I'm really good at 287 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 1: this role. What my take someone, five days I can 288 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: get done in three days without obviously like overworking yourself 289 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: or burning out, and see if that works out. And 290 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: if it doesn't, you're kind of already contemplating not even 291 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: going back. Yeah, so you're kind of option one is 292 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: you go back and they renew it and they're like, yep, cool, 293 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: you can do three days. Option two is you go 294 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 1: back and they say no, you have to go full time. Well, 295 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: then you're kind of already in the position you were 296 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 1: at the start of the scenario where you're like, money's 297 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: not really that much of a pressure for us, So 298 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 1: I don't have to go back to work because you 299 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: very evidently sounds like you don't want to put your 300 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: kids in daycare five times a week. Yeah, And I 301 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: think you know when we spoke from that episode of 302 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: what other highest values for people when they get to 303 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: the end of their lives, and it's spending time with kids, 304 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 1: And it sounds like that's such a value for this 305 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: mum and that that's where she wants to be. So 306 00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: that do that, And because obviously not everybody has that 307 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 1: flexibility or option, Like some people do have to put 308 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 1: their children in daycare five days a week, and I 309 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,199 Speaker 1: don't think that that would mean for them, that that 310 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: means that they value that time with their children any 311 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 1: less or any more. It really is just like everybody's 312 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,719 Speaker 1: circumstances is so different because you're not locked into it. 313 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: I don't think so, Like, obviously, if it's she has 314 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: to sign on for the next two years, then that 315 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 1: is a different situation. But it's like you can do 316 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,199 Speaker 1: the first year and then assess be like, Okay, do 317 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 1: I want because who knows so much can change in 318 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 1: a year that you might get halfway through and go, 319 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: you know what, three days is too much? Yeah? Not 320 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,920 Speaker 1: for me, and like you might do three days ago, 321 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: do you know what? I actually feel like a lot 322 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 1: of purpose and I'm really enjoying being back in the workplace. 323 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 1: I want to actually come in for more days. Like 324 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: you don't really know yet, yeah, because you haven't done it. Yeah. Yeah, 325 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 1: And keep that conversation open with your employer because you've said, 326 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: I'm worried. They've offered three days for one year and 327 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 1: after that it will be full time. So it sounds 328 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: like this is very much like a hypothetical, right, like you, 329 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: it sounds like they've offered three days, but you don't 330 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 1: really know what the future will hold and if there 331 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:15,400 Speaker 1: has been a conversation around returning full time after twelve months, 332 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: So keep that conversation open and maybe ask about the 333 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: flexibility to give yourself an idea, and then that way 334 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,919 Speaker 1: you can also prepare regardless of which option you choose, 335 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,920 Speaker 1: if you do decide to go back full time or 336 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 1: if you do decide to quit. With your friends that 337 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: have had children, have they kind of had a bit 338 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,959 Speaker 1: of la a mental battle or struggle or even guilt 339 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: about going back to work. Yeah, definitely, because I think 340 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 1: there's a guilt that there's so many layers to it. Yeah. One, 341 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,440 Speaker 1: there's the guilt of going to work and leaving your 342 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: baby either at home with your partner or at daycare 343 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: or with a family member, right and not being with them. 344 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,119 Speaker 1: And because obviously, especially in the first few weeks or 345 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: months that you do like your baby really misses you 346 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: and it's a big adjustment for them, and so you 347 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,359 Speaker 1: feel a lot of guilt there. But then also there's 348 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,639 Speaker 1: guilt of if you only go back part time and 349 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: your partner is back full time, for example, and if 350 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: you feel like you're not bringing in the same amount 351 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,399 Speaker 1: of money as your partner who's gone back full time, 352 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 1: and what your role is at home because you work 353 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,159 Speaker 1: less than that person. But of course the unpaid labor 354 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 1: conversation comes into that, and that is genuine work, yes, 355 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,439 Speaker 1: And then there is also I think guilt that a 356 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 1: lot of women, like you said, have this idea of 357 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,440 Speaker 1: like women can do it all and we can, of course, 358 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: but I think a lot of people who have kids 359 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 1: as well, like I don't want to go back to 360 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 1: work full time. I want to spend time with my 361 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: children and with my family and with people that I 362 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: care about. And there's guilt there too that if you 363 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,719 Speaker 1: don't want to go back full time and you do 364 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: want to spend time with your kids, and it's like, oh, 365 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 1: like you're not a feminist, career oriented woman and if 366 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: career isn't your number one priority, there's guilt there too. 367 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:04,120 Speaker 1: So it's so layered, especially for women in comparison to men. 368 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 1: I seriously so. The Instagram page Female invest actually calculated 369 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 1: how much it costs to be a stay at home mum, 370 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,719 Speaker 1: which I was like, wow, this is so interesting, and 371 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,160 Speaker 1: I believe they're based in the US, so this isn't 372 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 1: an aud so like then add some right, Yeah, So 373 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 1: they broke down being a private chef, housekeeper, childcare provider, 374 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 1: driving laundry, grocery shopper, personal assistant, event planner, and twenty 375 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: four to seven availability that goes into being a mum. 376 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 1: It came out to two hundred and forty seven four 377 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:41,160 Speaker 1: hundred and forty four dollars per year. Well, it's incredibly 378 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: valid to also have that thought of if I go 379 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: back to work, am I going to have time to 380 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,360 Speaker 1: get everything else done that I need to get done 381 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 1: for my kids as well? And childcare is expensive, very expensive. 382 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: Like there are subsidies from the government, like there's the 383 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,880 Speaker 1: additional childcare subsidy available for families with incomes under eighty 384 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 1: five thousand dollars or so, so there is support available, 385 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 1: but regardless from what I've heard, it is so expensive. 386 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,119 Speaker 1: So even though you're going back to work full time 387 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: and making more money, the money that you then have 388 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 1: to pay for full time childcare is very, very expensive, 389 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: I think, no matter what it's about. Really also remembering that, 390 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: like you're a person I know, and this might be 391 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,200 Speaker 1: easier for me to say because I don't have children, 392 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: but like I know, speaking to you, know, my mom, 393 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: she always had such a strong value of keeping her 394 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: own identity, and she really enjoyed her work and she 395 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,239 Speaker 1: wanted to make sure she didn't lose herself in just 396 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 1: becoming the role of a mother, which is obviously such 397 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: an important role, but she also wanted to keep her identity. 398 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,360 Speaker 1: So knowing what you want to do for you. If 399 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 1: that is staying at home with your kids, it's beautiful, 400 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 1: it's amazing. If it is also working in your career, 401 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 1: I don't think there's a wrong answer within that. And 402 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: it's more about keeping the relationship with, you know, your 403 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,360 Speaker 1: workplace civil. And because even if you do do three 404 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 1: days a week, you get to the end of it 405 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,120 Speaker 1: and they go, we want you to do a year, 406 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: you can politely decline and always keep the door open 407 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 1: and ask, like, is it possible? Can I continue to 408 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,199 Speaker 1: do three? Or like, ask the question, speak up for 409 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: yourself and if they say no, we can only do five, 410 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 1: you know they could also be a role at another place. Yeah, 411 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 1: work's better. Yeah, you're not locked in no matter which 412 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 1: pathway you choose. Yeah. Yeah, love it. Moving on to 413 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: dilemma number three. I'm angry. My god, this is the 414 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: shortest dilemma I've ever seen in my life, and I 415 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 1: actually think I'm about to kick off. What the fuck? Okay, sorry, 416 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: Dilemma number three. My boyfriend of almost five years just 417 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: asked if we could talk about going back to friends 418 00:22:55,880 --> 00:23:01,160 Speaker 1: with benefits. Everyone in the rooms their mouth dropped. That 419 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:08,680 Speaker 1: is so unhinged. I mean, come here, if you don't 420 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: dump he's fucking ass, call me and we'll do it 421 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,720 Speaker 1: for you. What the fuck? Yeah? What the fuck? That 422 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 1: is so oh my gosh, I feel so fucking bad 423 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,920 Speaker 1: for her because my partner did that to me. If 424 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 1: he came to me and said, do you think we 425 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: could go back to being friends with benefits? I think 426 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: I would throw up. I think I would be physically ill. 427 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,479 Speaker 1: I don't even know what's that. My palms are getting sweaty. 428 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: But the audacity of men, that man, the audacity of man. 429 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:48,879 Speaker 1: So because the thing is, the wording of this is 430 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: that he isn't asking like, can we try an open relationship? 431 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 1: Can we you know, maybe have a threesome with somebody 432 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,400 Speaker 1: else's easiest. Lemma, I've evident you know what I mean. 433 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 1: He's asking to essentially downgrade you from being a girlfriend 434 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: to friends with benefits. What do you get from that scenario? Cool, 435 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: he gets to go and fuck other people. Great, he 436 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 1: wants to be the boyfriend and get his dick wet too? Yeah, Like, 437 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 1: fuck off? Because I know there's a point of it 438 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: that like, own't key, If we were going to be 439 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 1: responsible about this, it would be like, you know, we 440 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 1: had Stephanie on the show Who Is a Relationship Coach, 441 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: We spoke about can you come back from cheating? And 442 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: her response was, you know, it normally happens for a reason. 443 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 1: My number one advice is to break up with him, 444 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 1: but two, if you really love this person, it would 445 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 1: probably be the discussion of like, how did we get here? 446 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: What's fueling this? Like, have you guys been fighting a lot? 447 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:53,920 Speaker 1: Is there an issue with No, just break up with him, sorry, yeah, 448 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,640 Speaker 1: just break up with them. I think like you could 449 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 1: have the conversation to get yourself some closure because from 450 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,200 Speaker 1: that conversation probably realize that it's not about you, it's 451 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 1: about him and that he is no longer or maybe 452 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: never was, like ready for the commitment, wants something else, 453 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 1: and like that's fine. I just think came to me 454 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: with this, Oh yeah, I'd say I would say break yeah. 455 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 1: I just don't want this person to break up and 456 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 1: then be left with the questions being like why or no, no, no, no, no, 457 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:22,800 Speaker 1: you're so right, you're so right. 458 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 3: Maybe like they just don't want to sit here and 459 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,640 Speaker 3: be like listen to him, and and then as well, 460 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:29,119 Speaker 3: it's like. 461 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: No, fuck him because the difference diclosure of like what 462 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,679 Speaker 1: happened exactly, and to realize that this isn't about her. 463 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 1: This is about him absolutely, Because the difference between like 464 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,879 Speaker 1: a friends with benefits situation, especially going from being in 465 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:49,159 Speaker 1: a five year long committed relationship and potentially like an 466 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:54,360 Speaker 1: open relationship, is that typically, in like an open relationship, 467 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: you have boundaries and rules set, but you are still 468 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 1: committed to one another, yes, But in a friends with 469 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,440 Speaker 1: benefits situation, he isn't asking to be open. That's what 470 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: I'm meaning to be. Fuck buddies, How could you be 471 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 1: friends with somebody? Do you know what I mean? How 472 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,159 Speaker 1: could you even physically go even if you were like 473 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 1: I'm Kane, How could you physically go from being in 474 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:18,680 Speaker 1: a five year long committed relationship with someone exclusive to 475 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 1: then being friends with benefits with them? Like, I don't know. 476 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: I don't want to speak for other people. Maybe some 477 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 1: people have different I hate him, but I hate him 478 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:32,879 Speaker 1: so much. Yeah, I love you. I love you and 479 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,160 Speaker 1: I just want to crawl through this microphone right now 480 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 1: and I want to come and hold your hand I feel. 481 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: Do you know what My recommendation for this cheek is, 482 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 1: get your fucking girls. Get to the pub, order a 483 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 1: bottle of rose. 484 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 2: Yeah you're not paying Oh no no no, no, no, 485 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:55,680 Speaker 2: no no no, some olives, cheese chips in a salami, 486 00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 2: and just go in literally call coven Etsy Witch and 487 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 2: just have a really fucking. 488 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,400 Speaker 1: Good night with your girlfriends and realize that like, men 489 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 1: come and go, but friendships are forever, because this man 490 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 1: can go. Ye and it's giving me my mistress. Bridgeton 491 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: has entered the chat. You're so right, oh my god, 492 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,920 Speaker 1: and you already have friends your coven. You don't need 493 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,440 Speaker 1: this man as a friend. You said that like a slur, 494 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 1: and I meant it seriously as someone who got fucked 495 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: around by someone for three years about like, oh are 496 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 1: we aren't we? 497 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,400 Speaker 3: That's three years of my good years. I can't get back. 498 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 3: And hey, my tits sat so well in those three years. Okay, 499 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 3: those are three good titties. Yeah, think about this. 500 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 1: Crime tits and we've got okay tits, and then we 501 00:27:54,960 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: got I'm glad, I'm in love tit ears. Okay, for 502 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 1: whatever stage you're in, I'm in the I'm glad I'm 503 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 1: in love. Fuck that. 504 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:13,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. 505 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: We're trying to be like mature and well rounded and 506 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 1: blah blah, but be my mistress. Get the fuck out. Yeah, 507 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 1: dump him, all right, dump him? Please send us an update. 508 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. 509 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:27,720 Speaker 1: And also for all of you chicks that have written in, 510 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 1: we will obviously be sending you your vouchers for sharing 511 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 1: your dilemmas. And for this chick, I needed to spend 512 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 1: that or something really good. Yeah, really, I want you 513 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 1: to if you want that, for you to go out 514 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 1: with your friends, or maybe you want something that'll make 515 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 1: you feel nice and hot, get a really sexy outfit. Yeah, 516 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 1: really sexy outfit. Yep, that was wild. I know this 517 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 1: might be like a little bit not like super relatable advice, 518 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,560 Speaker 1: and I know relationships have so much nuance and blah 519 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,840 Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. But as someone who's been in 520 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 1: relationships that okay, they had their issues but they were fine, 521 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 1: and a relationship that you know was not good, and 522 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 1: relationships that have not been healthy and then now in 523 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,840 Speaker 1: a very healthy relationship, I feel so strongly about the 524 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: fact that if your relationship does not make you feel 525 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 1: like sparkles, rainbows and unicorn farts, get it the fuck out. 526 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: Because that's not to say Rob and I have fights 527 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 1: like it's not perfect, but I feel nice in the relationship. 528 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 1: I'd never feel sad. Yeah, you know, and like that 529 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 1: is just bin get recycling, no compost red top bin gabbage, 530 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 1: straight to landfill, straight to landfill. Oh my word, love 531 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 1: you chick. Oh my god, call you chicks. Thank you 532 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: so much for sending in your submissions and the good 533 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: tips in there. I want to is it bad? Nah? Okay, 534 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 1: they keep it in and embrace those Yeah, the tears 535 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,880 Speaker 1: look tit. Ears are in the eye of the beholder. Yeah. 536 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,240 Speaker 1: I always said that, happy tit. You're the tear of 537 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: the tip. Thanks Jack so much. I'm genilated it is. 538 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:15,960 Speaker 1: Put that ship on the shirt, put that chick. Thanks 539 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,960 Speaker 1: for having a city. I love you, Love you, and 540 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: if you want to send in a diabolical dilemma for 541 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: a future episode, we'll put all the dates in the 542 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: show notes. Love you by love you. Dump him.