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Speaker 1: Why have we made it so hard for ourselves? Why

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Speaker 1: are we trying to be geniuses? Have podcasts, be uberfit,

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Speaker 1: eat the right things, drink the right amount of coffee?

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Speaker 2: Do you know? Genuinely?

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Speaker 1: I think the best I can do now is get

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Speaker 1: find things that put me in a flow state so

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Speaker 1: I can forget I exist.

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Speaker 2: I'm sick of me.

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Speaker 3: Comedy, stand up comedy particularly, there is this idea of material,

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Speaker 3: So when you go to see a comedy show, you

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Speaker 3: think of the material as the joke, but is it

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Speaker 3: really when you really think about it, it's not what

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Speaker 3: the person's saying. It's who they are. It's their life,

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Speaker 3: their thoughts, their experiences, their perspectives, their goals, who they are,

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Speaker 3: what they've been through, and then using the method of

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Speaker 3: stand up comedy to communicate that to you, because that's

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Speaker 3: what got them to where they are on stage, and

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Speaker 3: it got you there to go and see them, and

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Speaker 3: you feel you could relate to that person on stage,

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Speaker 3: and that's how you laugh. And that's just not true

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Speaker 3: for comedy. It's true for everything we do, no matter

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Speaker 3: what other tools are involved or what we're making, the

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Speaker 3: lives we live, that's the material. That's the stuff that

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Speaker 3: we're working with and that can help us or it

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Speaker 3: can hinder us in our careers. And then my guest today,

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Speaker 3: she has some amazing material and many great thoughts. I

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Speaker 3: adore this person. I know you will too. It's coming

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Speaker 3: up right after the break. Welcome to the show. This

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Speaker 3: is better than Yesterday. Useful tools and useful conversations to

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Speaker 3: help make your day better than yesterday. Every episode since

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Speaker 3: since twenty thirteen. I've been here twelve years. You think

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Speaker 3: I could say that date right? Probably not good. My

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Speaker 3: name's Oshi Ginsburg. Thanks for being here. The pre orders

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Speaker 3: for the book are pumping along. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 3: Books out the fifth of August. Please, if you want

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Speaker 3: to pre order the book, there's a link in the

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Speaker 3: show notes when you bought it, screenshot your proof of purchase,

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Speaker 3: email it to me. Send us your email at gmail

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Speaker 3: dot comment. I will send you something special. Going to

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Speaker 3: be talking about this quite a bit. I'm going to

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Speaker 3: talk about it every week, so I think I should

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Speaker 3: probably at least try to write a jingle to help

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Speaker 3: you want to buy this new book. The book's called

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Speaker 3: So What Now What? You can get it right now

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Speaker 3: pre order. It's out on the fifth foregust, hang on,

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Speaker 3: how's it go? Let me just just pick up my ukulele.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so your labs cut it shit right now, and

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Speaker 4: you think you've missed your shit, Grab a copy of

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Speaker 4: my new book I wrote and Cabal Walker illustrated.

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Speaker 3: It's called So What Now? What got a career in

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Speaker 3: advertising ahead of me? Oh? Well, I think it has

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Speaker 3: been an advertising. Story Club back. We took June off

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Speaker 3: because we did a show on the Central Coast, and

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Speaker 3: we are back sixth of July at the Factory Theater

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Speaker 3: in Marrickville, cracking lineup. Last week's guest Merrick Watts and

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Speaker 3: Marley Silvera who they're both of me guess on the show.

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Speaker 3: They'll be joining us, as will actress Nadia Townsend, actress

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Speaker 3: and dramaturg Nadia Townsend, She's fantastic. And Phil O'Neil. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Phil O'Neill, you may know him as Ugly Phil will

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Speaker 3: be joining us at Zoe Norton Lodge and myself story

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Speaker 3: clublive dot com for tickets. Speaking of tickets to fun things,

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Speaker 3: because story Club is a live comedy storytelling show that

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Speaker 3: I do once a month and I love you to

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Speaker 3: come along. It's a lot of fun. Speaking of live things,

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Speaker 3: there is a twenty percent discount for you to get

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Speaker 3: along to Chris Ryan's show this Friday night in Melbourne

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Speaker 3: at the Basement. We've got a promo code. I'll give

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Speaker 3: it you a little later on, because you know I

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Speaker 3: started in commercial radio. What am I gonna do not

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Speaker 3: tease the promo code the links in the show notes.

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Speaker 3: But if you want the promo code, we'll keep listening

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Speaker 3: because my guest today is the amazing, wonderful comedian Chris Ryan.

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Speaker 3: I've had the great pleasure of working with her. She

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Speaker 3: wrote on the news show that I did at the

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Speaker 3: Comedy Festival for a couple of years and the show

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Speaker 3: that we piloted TN and and N A lot of fun.

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Speaker 3: She's just fantastic. Chris Ryan won the Best Newcomer Award

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Speaker 3: a couple of years back, but despite that, her dive

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Speaker 3: into comedy came later than it does for many other people.

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Speaker 3: It only came after a year's long struggle with post

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Speaker 3: natal depression. However, it is those circumstances, those circumstances of

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Speaker 3: her life that make her voice on stage so very valuable. Today,

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Speaker 3: Chris is going to talk about the challenges that we

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Speaker 3: can present to ourselves, and also how we try to

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Speaker 3: deal with those challenges, her love of storytelling, the pressure

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Speaker 3: she feels to always do more, her advice to aspiring comedians,

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Speaker 3: and fitting with the name of her brand new show,

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Speaker 3: it's called Extreme Tenant. There's a bit of work there

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Speaker 3: on how much it sucks to be a renter in Australia.

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Speaker 3: If you've never known of Chris Ryan before, I'm so

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Speaker 3: happy for you because you get to meet this extraordinary

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Speaker 3: woman right now. I'm happy to have you here, Chris Let. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: how are you?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm good mate, Yeah, you're right yea

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Speaker 1: and bits three to walk to you.

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Speaker 2: House.

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Speaker 3: You walked here from Heggy.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But then at the last minute, I just jumped on

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Speaker 2: a tram just.

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Speaker 1: A couple of stops, just to quicken it up a bit,

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Speaker 1: just in time to get a beautiful coffee.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. This isn't Canberra, dude, Like.

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Speaker 2: It's quite far everywhere, isn't it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Camber' is like oh no, But it wasn't like.

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Speaker 1: I invented the idea of walking. Luke Keggy, who literally

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Speaker 1: lives here.

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Speaker 2: It was like, yeah, you can walk there, And I

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Speaker 2: was like Okay, well, then I guess I.

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Speaker 3: Better walk Heggy's Heggy is a he is a self

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Speaker 3: propelled transport now is from way back. And I know

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Speaker 3: for a fact that, yeah, I know I have that.

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Speaker 2: Effect on people perrimenopause.

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Speaker 3: No, I know for a fact that at one point

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Speaker 3: you thought it was a really good idea to finish

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Speaker 3: a gig at the factory in Marrickville and go Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Heggy said, yeah, you can walk to Couljie. And so

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Speaker 3: when yeah, I walked Coulgie, not realizing it was like

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Speaker 3: a fucking forum.

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Speaker 1: Like that's the literal walk I did in twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know you did that walk from the

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Speaker 1: truck shop a miracle in any more road that truck shop.

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Speaker 1: I walked to Couldie with a really heavy backpack full

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Speaker 1: of stuff. I'd done four gigs that night, including an

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Speaker 1: hour solo, and I just listened to podcasts and music

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Speaker 1: and I walked and walked and walked and walked because

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Speaker 1: I thought, oh, this is too easy. I've had it

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Speaker 1: too easy. I need to suffer a bit. What Yeah, seriously.

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Speaker 1: And I also didn't have enough money for an uber

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Speaker 1: that in my like in my business comedy account at

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Speaker 1: the time, which had like twenty cents in it. So

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Speaker 1: and I was too proud to use the family's money

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Speaker 1: to get an uber, so I thought, no, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to walk or so I was drunk.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of fact a lot of factors there,

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Speaker 3: and somewhere along the way there would have been a

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Speaker 3: very interestingly balanced wae M front lawn.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe that there was. I believe that there was. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: I did that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you've just reminded me of it.

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Speaker 1: Although there was no one around, absolutely no one around,

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Speaker 1: there was parts where there were no.

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Speaker 3: One not sketchy as sketchy bits going from where you were.

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Speaker 3: You've got to walk across the back of botany and stuff,

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Speaker 3: which is.

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Speaker 2: I was also listening to the podcast serial.

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Speaker 3: Great like that'll you know that'll get your step count up?

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Speaker 3: I think Ryan that.

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Speaker 2: Day, I think I did twenty five thousand steps.

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Speaker 3: Need you done? Then you're done? Coolly year Coo. I'm

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Speaker 3: so happy that you are here on this show. You

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Speaker 3: and I have known each other for a while now, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I am all my work is better for knowing you.

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Speaker 3: I have to say that people may not realize though

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Speaker 3: I talk a bit about it doing this news show

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Speaker 3: for the Comedy Festival two years in a row. I

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Speaker 3: needed help writing it, and you came on board as

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Speaker 3: a writer for that with unbelievable credibility, because not only

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Speaker 3: are you a highly successful stand up you also have

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Speaker 3: background of journalism.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, this is extremely kind.

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Speaker 1: I'm very uncomfortable with it because I don't think I

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Speaker 1: did a good enough job for your show.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm glad you're happy.

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Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? Your stuff? What I loved about

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Speaker 3: doing that show? And in the words of Ron Bergundy's

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Speaker 3: boss and and command, diversity is not an old old

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Speaker 3: ship and I have slightly different views of the diversity

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Speaker 3: to what may be the common views of diversity. I

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Speaker 3: am far more about diversity of ideas and diversity of

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Speaker 3: economic background. Interesting for me, those two things will take

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Speaker 3: care of all of the other things, but those ideas

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Speaker 3: are where for me is most important to have diversity

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Speaker 3: because I am a straight white man boy who grew

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Speaker 3: up in the suburbs of Brisbane, and I will miss

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Speaker 3: every joke that someone like you can see because I

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Speaker 3: simply can't see them. They are invisible to me, all right.

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Speaker 3: Like when Audrey first ever took Wolfgang for a bushwhee.

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Speaker 3: I had to shout to her, honey, honey, back to

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Speaker 3: the wind. She's like, oh, of course it didn't occur

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Speaker 3: to her because because she's never had to. Yes, of course,

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Speaker 3: worry about that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah we have gravity.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, you're like ladies, it's just as long as

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Speaker 3: your feet are along the full wine, you're fine. You know,

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Speaker 3: all on for downhill right with fellas, You've got to

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Speaker 3: think about.

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Speaker 2: That and wind we jumped to a different.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes getting that ven diagrammed crossover is difficult. The stuff

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Speaker 3: you write about wage inequality and workplace conditions and stuff

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Speaker 3: like that was so fucking excellent.

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Speaker 2: Thanks man, that's so kind.

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Speaker 3: It was real cool. But also knowing that you'd been

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Speaker 3: in a newsroom and you've done that as a as

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Speaker 3: a job was also really useful for us, I think,

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Speaker 3: because it really made the whole thing authentic.

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Speaker 1: I remember I first learned journalism a small regional town

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Speaker 1: called Maria down the south coast of New South Wales,

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Speaker 1: and one of my first tasks was as a cadet.

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Speaker 1: I was in charge of the property section and I

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Speaker 1: had to find verbs for headlines about property. Every headline

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Speaker 1: had to have a verb in it. Now, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: sound that hard, but if you think about it, it is.

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Speaker 2: You know, luxury villa escapes road noise.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, like I don't know, you know,

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Speaker 1: grabs views, family home.

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Speaker 2: Delights viewers. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: One bedroom, moldy fiber transports from the bustle and bustle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah transformed into yeah, yeah, So it's fun. It's I

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Speaker 1: loved being a journal being in a newsroom with other

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Speaker 1: people who had to to turn a story into as

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Speaker 1: little as possible, be very economical with words, and learn

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Speaker 1: to do that upside down triangle thing, imagining that no

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Speaker 1: one's going to read past possibly the headline, but if

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Speaker 1: they do, you better have the guts of the story

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Speaker 1: in the first line, or even lost them.

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Speaker 3: And all of that stuff is exceptional training for stand

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Speaker 3: up It.

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Speaker 1: Is, actually, in my view, yeah, I think it is.

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Speaker 1: And it was fun being around people who were always

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Speaker 1: looking at all the different angles of something. As a

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Speaker 1: journal you were not meant to really have an opinion,

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Speaker 1: you know. Like, I know that sounds so naive and

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Speaker 1: ludicrous in this world, but honestly, when I started journalism,

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Speaker 1: I was so earnest and I truly wanted to have

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Speaker 1: no opinion. I wanted to just give all the facts

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Speaker 1: and try and present it without any influence or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And I remember at the time, well, a friend of

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Speaker 1: mine was very cynical and he was like, the media

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Speaker 1: it's just toxic and it's broken, and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: And I took it really to heart. Well, I said, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm the media and that hurts dear.

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Speaker 1: But there were journos and they were telling stories from

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Speaker 1: regional Australia. And now I ran into a journo actually

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Speaker 1: from down there at a gig. She said, they're all gone.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's no there are no journos. There are

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Speaker 1: no independent papers anymore, really not many. And it's such

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Speaker 1: a shame those stories aren't being told anymore except perhaps

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Speaker 1: by one journo that's maybe a scout for all of

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Speaker 1: the region. Or you can imagine those stories just start

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Speaker 1: to go away.

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Speaker 3: What happens to us as a country when we start

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Speaker 3: to lose that lens on life that isn't in the

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Speaker 3: lens of the major news organizations.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know, and I don't think it's

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Speaker 1: good though.

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Speaker 3: What was the noise of the newsroom, like.

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Speaker 1: Very a lot of chatter. There was a lot of

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Speaker 1: people on phones doing interviews. There was sometimes there was

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Speaker 1: this lovely old.

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Speaker 2: Woman called June.

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Speaker 1: She would have been like seventy five. I think she

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Speaker 1: retired at seventy eight or something like. And she was

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Speaker 1: the court reporter and the council report, and she's tough

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Speaker 1: as nails. She had a big helmet of white blonde

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Speaker 1: hair and makeup perfection and a suit every day. And

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Speaker 1: June didn't take any shit, and she was always having

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Speaker 1: loud conversations. There was always the people taking phone calls

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Speaker 1: for people wanting to put stuff in the what's it

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Speaker 1: called classifieds, selling a bike or selling a house or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Lots of laughter as well. God, we laughed. I remember

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Speaker 1: I wanted to try out TV journalism at one point

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Speaker 1: I thought, oh maybe I could get into that. And

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Speaker 1: this is something that happened that I later turned into

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Speaker 1: a joke. So sorry doing bits on you, but it's

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Speaker 1: when the art is life, you know. Like I had

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Speaker 1: to film a show real which you would understand, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't have anything obviously, so I hired a bloke

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Speaker 1: to film this and I made up a bullshit story

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Speaker 1: about crime inn hourur I was living an hour at

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Speaker 1: the top, but I wanted to I got it.

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Speaker 2: I had a suit, a lilac suit. It was the nineties.

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Speaker 1: But I wanted a haircut, like I wanted a good

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Speaker 1: I went into this is the bit, and it's just

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Speaker 1: what happened, But this is the bit.

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Speaker 2: I went into naraw Just Cuts, came out looking like

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Speaker 2: Ray Martin. I did. I wanted a short haircut, but

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Speaker 2: this guy cut me a Ray Martin.

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Speaker 3: And I'm going for a news journal. But it was terrible.

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Speaker 2: It was so terrible.

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Speaker 1: And I went into the bathroom at the South Coast Register,

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Speaker 1: the paper that I worked at, and I wouldn't come out.

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Speaker 1: I was just standing there looking in the mirror, pulling

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Speaker 1: at my hair, hoping it would get longer quicker than

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Speaker 1: it's humanly possible for it to do. And they were

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Speaker 1: my colleagues, my mates, were standing on the other side

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Speaker 1: of the door, going, you've got to let us see it. Eventually,

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Speaker 1: you can't stay in the bathroom.

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Speaker 3: You're lucky you went into Just Cuts then, because after like,

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Speaker 3: they only had two haircuts at that point, you know,

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Speaker 3: they had the Jamo and the Ray Martin. That was it,

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Speaker 3: and now it's and then for like ten years. It

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Speaker 3: was a Danya that was all you got. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: because Daniel was there, you know, he had it on

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Speaker 3: his race car. Yeah. And it was a little life

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Speaker 3: styleed cardboard card out of Grant Denya. And I don't

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Speaker 3: mean that injo like it was. Actually, that's how big

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Speaker 3: he is. That's no, it's not a joke. That's how

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Speaker 3: big grand Jenuar is. Yep, there he is. Most people

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Speaker 3: bothered when they see him for the first time, like,

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Speaker 3: are you're not a jockey? No? No, no, he's an

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Speaker 3: incredibly talented game show most Yeah, and the caramean love

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Speaker 3: him beause they could sit down.

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Speaker 2: Oh come on.

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Speaker 3: I don't want us to romanticize too much about it,

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Speaker 3: but the idea of the journalist hero, the one who's

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Speaker 3: there to save us from shitty democracy going in shitty

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Speaker 3: directions is I don't know if that's really there anymore,

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Speaker 3: because now it's I'm aligned with this political party and

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Speaker 3: we're at the lefties, or we're at the workis, or

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Speaker 3: we're at the you know, the right wing it is,

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Speaker 3: rather than you and me together and everyone is after us,

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Speaker 3: which it was.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you're right, that's exactly that's the change

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Speaker 1: that's happened. And I think whilst I never had that

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Speaker 1: bravado of like, yeah, I'm going to be deceivior.

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Speaker 2: I did want to do the right thing, and you know,

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Speaker 2: in my tiny little way.

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Speaker 1: I got to tell a few people's stories with them

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Speaker 1: and it was brilliant.

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Speaker 2: I love that job. It was a great job.

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Speaker 3: And that kind of journalism, which is with the public

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Speaker 3: interest at heart, I think we just we cannot we

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Speaker 3: can't lose it. We miss it so important.

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Speaker 1: There are individuals I think online and social media and

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Speaker 1: stuff who I notice are you know, they say things

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Speaker 1: and they do things by themselves, and they write their independent.

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Speaker 2: Stories and such. But yeah, the era of thinking you

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Speaker 2: can trust the media is over, and that's sad.

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Speaker 3: With your kids when they're watching news, did you talk

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Speaker 3: to them about this is how you can tell truth,

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Speaker 3: fact whatever.

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Speaker 2: To be honest, we didn't watch the news with our kids.

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Speaker 2: We didn't. We just didn't watch the news because it

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Speaker 2: was all.

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Speaker 1: Car crashes and political intrigue and celebrity breakups. And I

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Speaker 1: don't care and I didn't feel the need to push

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Speaker 1: that on them.

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Speaker 3: Do they keep themselves informed about.

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Speaker 1: The way, Oh, my kids are very smart. You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't need to worry about, you know, whether they're

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Speaker 1: getting information. They've got it sort of, I don't. That's

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Speaker 1: past I'm past it, you know, like my kids are. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have a new bit in my show this year

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Speaker 1: about how green they are. They're just so green that

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Speaker 1: if I go to the shops, I feel like an oligarch,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I can't even enjoy going to shops

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Speaker 1: anymore to relax because they'll be like, you can get

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Speaker 1: that at Vinears, you know, and I love going to you.

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Speaker 1: I go off shops all the time. I've got too

351
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Speaker 1: much stuff from off shops. But just this idea that there,

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Speaker 1: even though I'm trying to do the right thing, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's never enough. And you know, they're they know what's

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Speaker 1: happening out there, and it worries them. And I, you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously I worry too. Environmental stuff is huge in our family,

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Speaker 1: and even having purpose and not just wanting to live

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Speaker 1: a life where you make money. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: young I'm going to say from my experience, there are

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Speaker 1: a lot of young people coming out of school and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to say private school, but hey, maybe it's

361
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Speaker 1: both that are just sort of they want to somehow

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Speaker 1: skim money out of society without very much effort, and

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Speaker 1: they want that to be their life. And they can't

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Speaker 1: really understand why that's not a real thing and not

365
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Speaker 1: something you should aspire to because you have a very

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Speaker 1: unhappy life. You should be wanting to contribute to society.

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Speaker 1: What can I do?

368
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Speaker 3: Not?

369
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Speaker 1: What can I get? I don't know my kids are.

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Speaker 1: I'm very proud of where they are, you know, mentally

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Speaker 1: and emotionally, and you know, within the community.

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Speaker 3: How old were they when you realized, oh shit, they're

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Speaker 3: real smart.

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Speaker 2: Oh, very young.

375
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Speaker 3: And were you at the same time proud and real

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Speaker 3: annoyed because oh no, no authority.

377
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Speaker 2: Now I wasn't. I wasn't annoyed.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: One bit that I've always had.

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Speaker 1: Which is pretty much to the you don' I never

381
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Speaker 1: wrote much about my kids, not a lot, because because

382
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Speaker 1: you write about dumb stuff, right, and my kids are dumb.

383
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Speaker 2: So it was kind of like I missed out on that.

384
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Speaker 1: But my son always loved reading from a young age,

385
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Speaker 1: and he'd read vaciously, you know, And one day he

386
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Speaker 1: was probably about five or six even I don't know, younger,

387
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Speaker 1: and he was he was talking about this book he

388
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Speaker 1: was reading where the character wielded his tried and magnificently,

389
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Speaker 1: and I looked at him. I went, and this is

390
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Speaker 1: just verbatim. I just said, Wow, I'm like forty eight.

391
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Speaker 1: I've never used the word whatever, forty I've never used

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Speaker 1: the word wield in a sentence. Pretty good on the

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Speaker 1: old word his son, and he goes, Mum, I have

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Speaker 1: a good vocabulary, you know.

395
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Speaker 2: And that was it, and that was the punchline.

396
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Speaker 3: Back up, mum, back it up. I recall I think

397
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Speaker 3: I was about I was forty. I'm thirty years older

398
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Speaker 3: than ge my step daughter, she was eleven, so i'd

399
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 3: only I've been living with her and her mum for

400
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Speaker 3: less than a year, and she was doing something that

401
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,479
Speaker 3: probably shouldn't be doing, she shouldn't have been doing, and

402
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 3: I was annoyed at it, and I was trying to

403
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Speaker 3: do my very best to let her know that, look,

404
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,919
Speaker 3: that's not okay, what's happening right now, there's ways to

405
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,399
Speaker 3: do this, and that's not it. And she was coming

406
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Speaker 3: with some very strong logic and really well put together

407
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:32,679
Speaker 3: points yea, and very reasonable justifications for behavior, and I

408
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 3: was real pissed off because in my head I'm like, fuck,

409
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 3: this argument was one you are don't ever stop being.

410
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,360
Speaker 3: You are standing up till forty one year old man

411
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Speaker 3: with very very clever logic, and this is a really

412
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 3: good argument on your behalf. And I'm really so proud

413
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 3: of you because you're so small and I'm much taller

414
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 3: than you, and here you are holding your own and

415
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 3: I'm very proud of you, and you're really annoying because

416
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Speaker 3: at the core of it, it was like still not

417
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 3: okay was a right? It's not, you know, but you're

418
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 3: you're figuring stuff out. I'm so proud of it. And

419
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 3: Wolfe's the same, he's so fucking smart like you.

420
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 1: It's ford, isn't it that you want the next generation

421
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 1: to be better.

422
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Speaker 3: Than you have to? That's all you're here, It's all.

423
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Speaker 2: We're here for.

424
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Speaker 1: The worst outcome I think as a parent would be

425
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:22,119
Speaker 1: to raise a child that you love but you don't like.

426
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you know that you care for but

427
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 1: you don't understand that you do not share values. I

428
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 1: reckon that would be the worst outcome. Yeah, And it's

429
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 1: easier for that to happen these days with social media.

430
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Speaker 1: I fear that young people are seeing so much.

431
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Speaker 2: Of stuff that's not real.

432
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Speaker 1: So, for example, young people who are influencers and paid

433
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: to be trying products on Insta or whatever, and they've

434
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 1: got this lifestyle where they're just having fun. I finished

435
00:21:54,880 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 1: school and whatever, and it's not real. You know, Like

436
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 1: when I finished school, I was a loser.

437
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 2: I knew I was.

438
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 1: At the bottom of the friggin ladder. I would have

439
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: to work. I had no money, even though I had

440
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 1: wealthy parents. Let me tell you, I came from privilege.

441
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 1: But I was told they didn't say these words, but

442
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 1: this was my understanding. Look, you're basically a dead shit

443
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 1: now you finish school, hippie parae. But this is where

444
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: it starts. You become a person now. You don't deserve anything.

445
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 1: You are not entitled to party and have a gap.

446
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.

447
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: You are not entitled to stay in my house, piss

448
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: away your weekends, save up money for your trip overseas

449
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 1: while I'm paying a motherfucking mortgage.

450
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 2: Sorry if that's bad language.

451
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 1: I think there are too many young people who think

452
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: they should be having this sick life when in fact,

453
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: all they can do is get a job working in

454
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: a restaurant right now, and it's going to suck shit.

455
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's how it is.

456
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 3: Yeah. Part of the problem I feel, oh, is the yes,

457
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,880
Speaker 3: you see the footage of this person. I haven't that gap. Yeah,

458
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 3: you don't see the hundreds of hours of shit restaurant

459
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 3: work or whatever that person has done.

460
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 2: The mum and dad gave them money.

461
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 3: That's also that you don't see that. You don't see

462
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 3: that part. You don't see all that work. You know.

463
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 3: When I started on idol, people are like, oh my god,

464
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 3: you just turn up overnight. I've been working six days

465
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 3: a week since I was seventeen and I'm now twenty nine. No,

466
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 3: I haven't turned up over night. No, I've just worked

467
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 3: my fucking asshole. Yes's and that's how like, that's what

468
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 3: it is. And I'm sure you know I talked to

469
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 3: Luke about this quite a bit. And this is what

470
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 3: open mic nights are four and this is what you know.

471
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 3: Lineup shows are for. Is for people who just get

472
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,200
Speaker 3: out there and take it in the face and stand

473
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 3: up comedy is one of the, if probably the most

474
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 3: hardcore job to willingly walk into. It is willingly walking

475
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 3: up to a firing squad every night knowing you're going

476
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 3: to get shot. Some people just don't have the guts

477
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 3: to get up and do it again after they get

478
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 3: done once right, And I hear look talk about it

479
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 3: then that there is an expectation that I will get

480
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 3: up and you all will laugh at me, because that's

481
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 3: what I've seen the video on TikTok about and next

482
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 3: stop enmore and why isn't happening now?

483
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone wants to kill a five minute set so

484
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: they can win raw comedy and become a national hero overnight.

485
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 2: That's what's happening.

486
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: I get a few people every now and then reach

487
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: out to me and ask, oh, can we have a

488
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 1: coffee and we talk about my career and I want

489
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: to have a career in comedy. And I'm like, oh fuck,

490
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: here we go. And I'm quite judicious about who I

491
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: will talk to. And I always said there no shortcut,

492
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: and Hegge says this too, There's no shortcut. You just

493
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,439
Speaker 1: have to keep going. And it doesn't make it. It's

494
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 1: not rational. You won't make money, you'll be disappointed, it'll hurt.

495
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 1: You'll see people that you think are shit doing better

496
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: than you, and you'll be like the world is unfair.

497
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 1: Why am I doing this? So be prepared if that's

498
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 1: what you're after. But if you're after some shiny spotlight immediately,

499
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: you might even get that once. But even after you've

500
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,440
Speaker 1: had that, it won't come again necessarily.

501
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 2: Ever.

502
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 1: You have to just want to keep going by yourself.

503
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 1: And it's sort of like life, really, isn't it.

504
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,120
Speaker 3: All Right, We're going to take a break from Chris

505
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 3: ryan By now you're like, I've got to go see

506
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 3: this show on Friday night. She's at the Basement Comedy

507
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 3: Club in Melbourne and you can get tickets for that.

508
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 3: The link is in the show notes and if you

509
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 3: want twenty percent off, you just click Unlock in the

510
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 3: top of the little green page. There. You can see

511
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 3: unlocked right in the word Extreme, like the metal band

512
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 3: that I really love that when did a soft rock

513
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 3: song called more than Words, which ended up being their

514
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 3: biggest hit, but it made me sad, but they were

515
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 3: really fun bad. Yeah, Extreme is the offer code you

516
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 3: get twenty percent off thirty five dollars tickets becomes twenty

517
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 3: eight and you're welcome because I said, hey, can we

518
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 3: do an offer code? I said sure, So there you go.

519
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 3: That's just for you. Nobody else is getting that. The

520
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 3: links in the show notes back in a minute with

521
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 3: more from Chris Ryan. The only thing I think you

522
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 3: can really control, and I tell you this was told

523
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 3: to me by my old manager when I lived in

524
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 3: the States. He said, only you know how hard you

525
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 3: work to make your dreams come true. All you can

526
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 3: control is your effort. A right. You can't control how

527
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 3: much talent you've got.

528
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,479
Speaker 2: God, sometimes you can't even control your effort. Oh so

529
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 2: that's probably where I fall down.

530
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 3: It takes a lot of effort to walk from and

531
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 3: water couldie, that's a lot of effort.

532
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 2: I was thinking about this, thinking about talking to you, like,

533
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 2: I think one.

534
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: Of the greatest challenges is yourself right in life obviously

535
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: if you've got any brains yet. All Yeah, unfortunately, is

536
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 1: like what is it that you're running from? You know, like,

537
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: what is it that you run from? And I spent

538
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: a lot of time touring and look just quietly in

539
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 1: case I sound miserable and depressed and like ungrateful.

540
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 2: I fucking love my life. It's a fucking best I

541
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 2: can't believe this is a job. I can't believe my luck.

542
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,360
Speaker 2: It's unbelievable.

543
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that being what's really hard, That being said

544
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: it never really feels like I work that hard anyway.

545
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,239
Speaker 1: I'm sure I do. It's evident I have, apparently, but

546
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: it never really I never really feel like I'm truly

547
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,919
Speaker 1: doing the enough work. And and I do feel like

548
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time fucking going to op

549
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: shops and faffing about on tour, you know, like I

550
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: could spend my days gruelingly stuck to the desk and writing.

551
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: Do I nope, you know, do I go for random

552
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 2: walks and look in op shops at the things I

553
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: don't need to buy?

554
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 4: It?

555
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm an idiot. We all are.

556
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: It's like I'm scared of my capacity, right. I don't

557
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: know if even that's true. I don't know what the

558
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: truth is. I just think I could work harder, and

559
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 1: I'm not sure where to point that energy direction.

560
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 3: I would argue to you that the act of wandering

561
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 3: around an op shop in a town that you're doing

562
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 3: a gig at is actually work, because your job is

563
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 3: to have your subconscious put together raw information, run it

564
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 3: through the filter of the lens of which you look

565
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 3: through life new information, and then pop that out to

566
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 3: bring a new idea on stage. And combining these two

567
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 3: unknown things hither too. There is the joke. And unless

568
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 3: you have walked around the op shop at the back

569
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 3: of Port Lincoln and gone, holy fuck, yeah, the how's

570
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 3: that board game that is terrible? Oh yeah, that's right,

571
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 3: that's somewhere at the beach house. Bang bang bang, there

572
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 3: you are.

573
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: However, that is very kind of you to be so

574
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: generous to me. However, you're not doing that, osha. You're

575
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: doing podcasts and television things, and you're working your face off.

576
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: I'm out looking at bloody opshops getting another pair.

577
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 3: Of jeans that I don't I mean, you've got a

578
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 3: gig that night. I'm not. Oh you must, no, dude, like,

579
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 3: come on, no, you want to talk about my career uncertainty.

580
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 3: Oh dear god, I haven't done a contracted TV just

581
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 3: in two years.

582
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: I find that so hard to believe it's true. I

583
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,959
Speaker 1: feel like you're not even speaking English right.

584
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 3: No, really, I've been nominated for a Gold LOGI and

585
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 3: went to unemployment. That sucks balls, man, Great Daniel won

586
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 3: one when he had no job. It's a fuck industry

587
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 3: audio guys that are mowing lawns right now. No, your gig,

588
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 3: your job is secure. I am busy trying to fucking

589
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 3: figure something else to do, because no one's making the

590
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 3: kind of TV that I'm good at making. It's too expensive,

591
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 3: it's real hard, So I'm busy. I'm fiendishly reinventing. But

592
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 3: it's okay.

593
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: But you're also you're actually doing the thing have to.

594
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 3: That's all I can do. All you can do is

595
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 3: control your effort. I'm not mortalent than anybody else. I

596
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 3: just will just keep working.

597
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 2: That is a great quality, But there's really.

598
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 3: Something about I would love to be able to do

599
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 3: it properly, to be standing on stage and dropping a line.

600
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: And it was just that one person who makes the

601
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 3: kind of laugh that you know, tickle the darkest part

602
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 3: of them that they're embarrassed about it. I'm like, I

603
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 3: don't care if everyone else in this room is silent.

604
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 2: That guy got it me mate.

605
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: But I really enjoyed when we did that true storytelling

606
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: night together.

607
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 3: Oh yeah up at the Central Coast.

608
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, people's stories are extraordinary.

609
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: I mean, this is why journalism appealed to me, because

610
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: I know everyone has stuff going on at all times,

611
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 1: and it changes all the time.

612
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, you never run out you know of stories, really and.

613
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 3: It's just humans trying to remember that the ship I'm

614
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 3: going through, it's not just me. Yeah, that's really it's

615
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 3: always about not getting up sleep, not getting enough sex,

616
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 3: not eating, you know, not having a connection, making a mistake,

617
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 3: dropping something, and allah.

618
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 2: And that's comedy too, it is.

619
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 3: It's just that moment of oh, it's not just me,

620
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 3: it's not just me, and the lens of which you

621
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 3: come to comedy through is and I understand why the

622
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 3: economics of it. There's not very many people in your

623
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 3: position that can take four nights a week away from

624
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 3: a family to go and test five ten minutes at

625
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 3: a time, you know, for a couple of hours, and

626
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 3: then come back after everyone's gone to bed. And so

627
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 3: the diversity of jokes of life for a you know,

628
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 3: a mum of some kids who's you know, this is

629
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 3: another part of their career and telling jokes about getting

630
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 3: older and stuff like that. It's a surprise to people

631
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 3: because I just don't hear it. It's twenty one year

632
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 3: olds who going to afford to just you know, abuse

633
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 3: their ADHD medication and stay out late.

634
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: I do remember when I started, because like I started

635
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: in twenty twelve, I did comedy for seven years in Canberra,

636
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: not going anywhere because I had young kids and I

637
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 1: didn't want to, you know, I wanted to be in

638
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: camera with my kids and.

639
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 2: I would write.

640
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 1: I remember I wrote probably a couple of shows that

641
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: I own a full hour that I only did once

642
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 1: in Canberra.

643
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.

644
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 1: When I finally did go to Melbourne, a reviewer of

645
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: my first show there, where I was nominated for Newcomer,

646
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: said something like, well, there's there's already heaps of middle

647
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: aged people talking about kids and families and stuff. She

648
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: doesn't really you know, contribute anything to or you know,

649
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 1: we don't need any more of them kind of thing.

650
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: It's the most ageist, frickin' comment and it feeds into

651
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 1: your greatest fear is, which is, oh, I'm not relevant.

652
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: Nothing I have to say matters. This is not edgy

653
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: and new and exciting. They don't want this, you know.

654
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: But I've actually recently been opening for the brilliant comedian

655
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: Jen Brister, who's fifty. She's from England. She's been doing

656
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: it for decades and it was only in the last

657
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 1: couple of year years that she's gone to a million

658
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: follows on Instagram.

659
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 2: And it is.

660
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: Simply because she's brilliant and she's saying stuff that so

661
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 1: many people want to talk about, which is being a parent,

662
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: which is how hard it is all And you know,

663
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: like this, it's hard when you are doing something that

664
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 1: your own family, you know, like my mom you know,

665
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 1: in her.

666
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 2: Way is proud of me, but honestly looks at what

667
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 2: I'm doing is like.

668
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 3: Like a journalism job. Remember when you had a job

669
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 3: at a.

670
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: Year you know, comedy really and and you know, in

671
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: many ways that's the voice in my head going, yeah,

672
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 1: I mean it's all good and well, but one day

673
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 1: you probably have to fall back on your writing or

674
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: something else. You know, there is a big part of

675
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: me just because yeah, it's all bullshit. Really, this is

676
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: all la la land stuff. That's why I never really

677
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 1: leaned into comedy until it was like I'd gone through

678
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: a dark period of depression and stuff. I thought, No,

679
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: it's all frivolous, you know, And that's not a real

680
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 1: job a parent, be a decent person, get a real job.

681
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 1: And that's something that's deep in me.

682
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 2: And it's not very helpful to say the least, is it.

683
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 3: No, I don't think you're alone in that, though I

684
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 3: certainly yeah, I struggle with that as well. Certainly at

685
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 3: this point in time when I'm looking at my mortgage repayments,

686
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 3: eat my offset alive like a fucking orca and a

687
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 3: little baby seal on an ice flow, you know, where

688
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 3: they take a half a white and go, I might

689
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 3: have the rest of it. I'm just look. I've got

690
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 3: a spreadsheet at home that I stare at and the

691
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 3: Google ally is rather good. It's made me a god

692
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 3: of spreadsheets now because I just ride in. I need

693
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 3: this cell to you know, take out of that every

694
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 3: two weeks and then output a date as to when

695
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 3: it hits zero. I look at it every day and go,

696
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 3: that's when that's where my runway runs out. I've got

697
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 3: to get some shit happening here. But this is important.

698
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 3: It's important to look at that stuff, and it's hard

699
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 3: to look at it. It's an important look at and

700
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 3: so every day that I'm not you know, meaningfully contributing

701
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 3: to that, I'm like, what am I doing to my family?

702
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 3: What am I doing fucking you know, strapping a motion capture?

703
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 3: Think to my head and trying to make a thing.

704
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 3: What am I doing trying to you know, make this pocket?

705
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,439
Speaker 3: What fucking should I reactivate my LinkedIn account and start

706
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 3: going hey guys looking for what?

707
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 4: Yeah?

708
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 2: I know, I know.

709
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 3: I can't do it, Chris, I know I can't do it.

710
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 3: I know.

711
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 2: I keep thinking I can.

712
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 1: But then when push comes to shove and I'm looking

713
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: at the jobs and thinking yes, super would be nice,

714
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: I think.

715
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: Oh, gone in the office, yuck.

716
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 5: You know, imagine having to I remember once starting a

717
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 5: job and on the very first day, and I was

718
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 5: in my thirties, I remember taking my first toilet break

719
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 5: and just.

720
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 2: Looking in the mirror, just saying, how long before I

721
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 2: can leave this job?

722
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 3: I quit a job after three and a half hours.

723
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 2: Oh did you?

724
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 3: Yeah? I could. I was like, I couldn't do it.

725
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 3: This is not for me.

726
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 2: Do you remember the football play Melmoninger?

727
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 3: Do I ever I'm from Queensland? Are you kidding me?

728
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 3: Of course? I remember Melmaninger.

729
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: Do you remember that gorgeous interview in I think it

730
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: was ABC Canberra Studios when he was running for parliament.

731
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: He tried to be a politician and he sat down

732
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: for his very first interview and within minutes, I can't

733
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,720
Speaker 1: remember the exact question.

734
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 3: Oh they got his they got him announcing his political

735
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 3: candidacy and resigning from politics in the same break.

736
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 2: He's my hero. That is just full of integrity.

737
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 3: Actually, now I'm experiencing this part of it.

738
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 2: You know what, No, didn't he say something like, oh

739
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 2: I'm screwed or not screwed? What did he say?

740
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 1: Oh I'm done here? Yeah, he took off the headphones,

741
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 1: just got up and left. And I thought, I still

742
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: think about that, like what integrity?

743
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 3: But that mate, But in those moments, we kind of

744
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 3: think he would have fully committed to doing it. He

745
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 3: would have told everyone do this. But he's still got

746
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 3: a broadcast career. He's still relevant, it's very important, and

747
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 3: the baby league is still scouts people. He's really important.

748
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 3: But in that moment, he might have thoughtated it's all over,

749
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 3: but that reality is far from the case.

750
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 2: And also, it's not a police matter.

751
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 4: You know.

752
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: I've got a really lovely friend who I used to

753
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,800
Speaker 1: work for and his favorite. He's an events manager and

754
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 1: he's brilliant. He can handle everything, even if things are

755
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 1: falling apart.

756
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 2: He'll just take a moment.

757
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 1: He will never show the client the terror, you know,

758
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 1: and his philosophy is it's not a police matter. You know,

759
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 1: we can he would never spend any time being angry.

760
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: He would just spend his energy trying to fix the problem,

761
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: and oh god, I love him his best.

762
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,959
Speaker 3: You've got these gigs in Melbourne, coming on Melbourne. People

763
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 3: are hard hard to crack sometimes. Do you ever get

764
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 3: up and feel like, come on, that's a fucking good joke.

765
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 2: Oh look, I'm not that much of an edge lord.

766
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,479
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, if people are coming to my show,

767
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: they know what they're getting, you know. Finally, I think

768
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: I'm starting to find the people who actually want to

769
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:07,399
Speaker 1: hear what I've got to say.

770
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 3: You say you're not an edge lord, but I have

771
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 3: seen an red material from you that really can put

772
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 3: people in us start conversation with their own.

773
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 1: Oh, it can be uncomfortable. I'm not afraid of making

774
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 1: people go quiet. Yeah, I don't do it a lot.

775
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 1: I mean it's mostly laughs. Let's not pitch me as

776
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 1: a terrifying person. But I am not afraid. I'm actually

777
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 1: more afraid of not saying the thing, you know what

778
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: I mean. Like last show, I had some stuff in there.

779
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: There's bits where I'm just telling it as it is and.

780
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 2: People will go a little bit quiet.

781
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 1: It won't necessarily be the laugh bit, you know, And

782
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 1: I stand by that because I'm more scared of never

783
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: talking about hard things than I am of silence. I'm

784
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 1: more scared of silence and never talking about the thing,

785
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 1: you know. So this bit that I'm thinking of Last year,

786
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: I used to have this bit on you know, how

787
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 1: I love other people's problems because they're easier to solve

788
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: and they don't affect you.

789
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 2: Plus they can be fascinating, you know.

790
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: And then I talk about how we deal with problems

791
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: like some people, and this was the bit. It was

792
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 1: sort of like, prefer to focus on things outside their control,

793
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: you know, rather than fix the things in their life,

794
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: so they'll make their entire social media personality the war

795
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 1: in the Middle East, then deal with their dead bedroom marriage,

796
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean?

797
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 2: And that would just flaw the.

798
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: Audience and it got to the point where it was

799
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 1: so silent that it was uncomfortable. And I had to

800
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 1: just really lean into that because I filmed that show,

801
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: and for the filming I actually just like, hmm, I

802
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: sort of just simmered in it, and I went, hmmm,

803
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: that silence just speaks truth to me, you know, And

804
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,760
Speaker 1: I don't know that's not that edgy, but the truth

805
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: can be scary.

806
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and yet this is for me. I think the

807
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 3: real gift of stand up a good one or two

808
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 3: line joke from you like that, particularly one about the

809
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 3: social media profile rather than facing yourself, that can really

810
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 3: change someone's life. It can't. They might not realize it,

811
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 3: but it'll sit in the back of their head for

812
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 3: a little bit, permeate around.

813
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: I don't know, can lose me friends probably, I don't know,

814
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 1: you know, because it's all based in real life and stuff.

815
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 3: So you've got to be careful as a sober person.

816
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 3: I had to understand that the people who stopped texting

817
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 3: and calling me once I stopped drinking, they probably weren't

818
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:52,280
Speaker 3: my friends.

819
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 2: Yes, right, so yeah, yeah.

820
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 3: It's that. It's when I always say when I talk

821
00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 3: about mental health and the workplace, so like, if you're

822
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 3: working for a place that is going to discriminate against you,

823
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 3: you're probably working in the wrong place. You know, speak

824
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 3: of mental health, like you're not afraid to speak about that.

825
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 3: What do you think Australia kind of really gets wrong

826
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 3: about mums who face mental health challenges after kids.

827
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: I don't think. I actually don't. I don't think we

828
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: have the knowledge to understand how hard it is and

829
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 1: how different the reality is from this image of what

830
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: a mother is. I had no words or understanding for

831
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 1: the experience of going through post natal depressions such that

832
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 1: I had it for three years without being diagnosed. So

833
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 1: I had two children and I was just, you know,

834
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: white knuckling it, just getting through. And I love them

835
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 1: so much, but I was terrified of someone finding out

836
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: that I was not well. I didn't even I thought

837
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: I was crazy. I found it so hard to do

838
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:07,240
Speaker 1: basic things that it appeared other mothers did without even

839
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: thinking about it. They just seemed so light, you know.

840
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 1: I still find it hard talking about it because it

841
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: was so fundamentally challenging to who I thought I was

842
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 1: as a person. So I don't think Australia understands how

843
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 1: to even begin the conversation. I will forever be grateful

844
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 1: to my former pretty much mother in law. I was

845
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 1: never married, but I was in a long term relationship

846
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 1: and my partner's mum was a nurse, and I remember

847
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: when I was right in the guts of it, I

848
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 1: remember just sort of saying some things to her, and

849
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: she just quietly said to me, are you okay. And

850
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: she was not a threatening person. She was a good listener.

851
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,320
Speaker 1: And she because I'd had people say to me prior

852
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 1: to that, I think you'll probably postnatally depressed. You should probably,

853
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: you know. I don't think this is right, you know.

854
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 1: And I remember losing a friend over that because I

855
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 1: was like, you haven't had kids, you don't know, Oh

856
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,800
Speaker 1: you don't know, don't talk to me. I was terrified

857
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,319
Speaker 1: that people would say, oh, well you can't, you can't

858
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,359
Speaker 1: keep your kids because you're too mental or something. I

859
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: thought there was something deeply wrong with me. But Ginny

860
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: she was able to just ask me without judgment, are

861
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 1: you okay? And I was safe enough to say, god,

862
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,720
Speaker 1: I don't think so, you know. And she just three questions.

863
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: She asked, are you okay? Do you have a good GP?

864
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,399
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I do actually, And then she said

865
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: do you reckon? You can go see them? I went, yeah,

866
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 1: I probably could.

867
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 3: Actually.

868
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 2: That was it. She didn't try and solve my problem.

869
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 2: She didn't try and.

870
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: Say oh, yes, I experienced it, or belittle it or

871
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: make it smaller or change it or fix it. She

872
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: just let me admit I wasn't feeling okay, and I

873
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: couldn't understand it, but that was okay. I could talk

874
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 1: to a doctor about that.

875
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 3: Giving you the gift of the agency to do something

876
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 3: about it, that is in itself, is such an incredibly

877
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 3: important thing, because in my experience, if people are pushed

878
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 3: into treatment, it never worked because there's often that like, well, fuck,

879
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 3: I don't want to be here, but i'm here. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

880
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 3: So you're never willing to ask yourself those real questions.

881
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 1: Well, my GP also shared that view. He said to me,

882
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: I am so glad you've come to see me about this.

883
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,839
Speaker 1: He said, I think you've you know what you've got.

884
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 1: I said, no, I don't. He goes, we did the

885
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 1: test and everything, and he goes, you've got postonatal depression.

886
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 1: I think you've had it for three years. But if

887
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 1: I'd said anything to you, you never would have come

888
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: back to see me. So I'm glad you've come to me,

889
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 1: and that is a good GP. I said, you're right.

890
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, for people who might have be resonating with what

891
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 3: you're saying, what did treatment look like.

892
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 2: And what I had?

893
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 1: I was on antidepressants for a couple of years, but

894
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 1: that's not it like you have to do other stuffs.

895
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:55,439
Speaker 2: I went.

896
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 1: I did a positive parenting course that was free at

897
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: the local like parenting center or something in the act

898
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:03,720
Speaker 1: and that was useful.

899
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:09,720
Speaker 2: The antidepressants didn't make me happy.

900
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 1: They gave me distance from my anger and fear, and

901
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: I felt like I was watching my life and it

902
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 1: wasn't satisfying to feel that way. But at least I

903
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,320
Speaker 1: wasn't scared and angry. I felt like, Okay, well, I

904
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: can relax.

905
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 2: This is a thing.

906
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,839
Speaker 1: And as my children, you know, became grown up, and

907
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: as they could speak English, finally they we could communicate

908
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: and things became easier. But you know what, it's been

909
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 1: many many years now since then, and obviously I've tried

910
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,879
Speaker 1: to figure myself out. I've tried, you know, I've gone

911
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: to psychologists and stuff. But only a few years ago,

912
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: it was only probably two or three years ago I

913
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 1: got a diagnosis of ADHD, and being on the medication

914
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 1: for that, it makes me sort of look back and

915
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: wonder if all of that anxiety and depression was actually

916
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 1: just ADHD, a lack of dopamine in my brain. And

917
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 1: I know everyone's got a lot to say about ADHD,

918
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: and everyone who's got it. I was always diagnosing people,

919
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: and I look, I'm guilty of that too. But I

920
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 1: do feel like, especially for women of my age, we're

921
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,280
Speaker 1: the one's being diagnosed a lot at the moment because

922
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 1: we weren't in the studies.

923
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 2: Girls weren't in the studies. I'm relieved I still don't

924
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 2: have it. I'm not.

925
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: I'm not the person I would love to be. I

926
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 1: think that's a life journey. I don't think I will

927
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 1: be until i'm very old. Unfortunately, I'm trying my best,

928
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: and I'm getting better every year, like your podcast says,

929
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 1: but I certainly am not there yet. There's so many

930
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 1: things I wish I could do better.

931
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 3: But I disagree with this idea of I have arrived.

932
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 3: I think that is a great falsehood about life. No,

933
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:01,280
Speaker 3: it's not. It's always this is great, this is everything

934
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 3: I thought it would be. I am curious about what

935
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 3: would happen if I got a light aircraft license. Now

936
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 3: let's go see what that's like. You know, the idea

937
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 3: of no, I don't ever have to change that. You know,

938
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 3: lifelong learning is you want to be vital for your grandkids.

939
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 3: You want to be able to be malleable in your

940
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 3: thinking and the way you move and the way your

941
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 3: body works. Learning is a really important part.

942
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 2: Of that, you know.

943
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: I wish I could be more grateful for that attitude, right,

944
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 1: I know, But I look at my parents, who I adore.

945
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 1: They never put themselves through this shit osha.

946
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 3: They didn't have to.

947
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 2: They just lived their lives and did their Yeah.

948
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 3: But the promise of the society that was set up

949
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 3: for them delivered, all right. I was talking to Zoe

950
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 3: about this when we're driving up to your mina the

951
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 3: other day for their story club show up there. There

952
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 3: was a time where you could own a house in

953
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 3: Sydney within twenty minutes driver the city and a weekend

954
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 3: at your minor on one middle class wage. And that

955
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 3: was most people. And this was the life that people

956
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 3: like your parents did. The promise was, you work real hard,

957
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 3: here's a house you can buy. It's anywhere between three

958
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,399
Speaker 3: and six times your yearly wage. All right, interest rates

959
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 3: are going to be up there, but don't worry. The

960
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: principal is going to be Okay, you can handle it,

961
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 3: and there you go, and you were rewarded. I know,

962
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 3: but you know life's changed now.

963
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, But they had.

964
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 1: Other things going on. You know, women weren't allowed to

965
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,879
Speaker 1: have careers. My mum never had one.

966
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 2: She was told she was stupid and she finished school early.

967
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,800
Speaker 2: You know, like that happened to a lot of women.

968
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean, god knows how many were undiagnosed

969
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 1: ADHD back then.

970
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:53,240
Speaker 3: I think it was just you know, when you got engaged,

971
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 3: it was like, well, see you.

972
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 2: It's over for you.

973
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 3: It's over for you.

974
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,280
Speaker 1: So there were other challenges. So I refute this idea

975
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 1: that they had it all good.

976
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 2: I do think.

977
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 1: Yes, I understand economically perhaps was slightly easier, but there's

978
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 1: different you know, they were raised differently, and their parents

979
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,399
Speaker 1: never fucking praise them with anything. There was no there

980
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 1: was no compliments. But it's a it is tempting to

981
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,959
Speaker 1: look at the way that they've lived and think, Fuck,

982
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 1: why have we made it so hard for ourselves? Why

983
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,879
Speaker 1: are we trying to be geniuses, have podcasts, be uber fit,

984
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 1: eat the right things, drink the right amount of coffee?

985
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 1: Do you know?

986
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:35,360
Speaker 2: Genuinely?

987
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: I think the best I can do now is get

988
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 1: find things that put me in a flow state so

989
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,439
Speaker 1: I can forget I exist. I'm sick of me. I'm

990
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: fucking sick of me. I'm sick of hearing my stories,

991
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 1: hearing my winges, worrying about my anxieties. I want to

992
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:55,240
Speaker 1: just pull out some fucking bamboo and no, I'm doing

993
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 1: no harm.

994
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 2: That's honestly.

995
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 1: I've started gardening, and that if any If there's anything

996
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 1: that puts me in a flow state, it's ripping bamboo

997
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:08,720
Speaker 1: out by the route, tearing ivy off the muldbew tree.

998
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 2: It's not talking about myself on stage. That's a joy.

999
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 1: I do have a lot of fun doing that, and

1000
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 1: there are times where it is a flow state, but

1001
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 1: they're getting to that.

1002
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 2: Fuck, what a pain in the ass.

1003
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 3: How good's gardening?

1004
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 2: Gardening's great.

1005
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 3: I learned about it from my wife. She's quite the

1006
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,920
Speaker 3: green thumb. Studied horticulture, brilliant, the best.

1007
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 2: My child studying or horticulture.

1008
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:29,439
Speaker 3: Real good.

1009
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:29,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1010
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, we eat food in our garden. It's so rare,

1011
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 3: you know.

1012
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 1: I always looked at gardeners, thought you guys have got

1013
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:39,919
Speaker 1: something going on. But I never was into it until now.

1014
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,760
Speaker 1: You know, I've moved into a rental and there's weeds everywhere,

1015
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: and we're allowed to do what we want. So I

1016
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,879
Speaker 1: go out there, no one tells me what to do.

1017
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,879
Speaker 1: I pull the book weeds out and I.

1018
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 2: Think, good on me.

1019
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 3: I really plants were just tree bush. Yeah, that was

1020
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 3: about my extent of botanical knowledge. And since then, oh man,

1021
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 3: there's names involved. But there's also something about like noticing

1022
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: the subtle differences in the eggplant bush out the front

1023
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 3: in the twenty four hours it's been since I've walked

1024
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 3: out the front to take wolfgangs again.

1025
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 1: Like something's happening. There go presence. That's it, ultimately presence

1026
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 1: watching life.

1027
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that'll be my first hour stand up show, will

1028
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 3: be me talking about gardening.

1029
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 2: Good on you. Why not?

1030
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 1: I'm bloody doing it. My show is called Extreme Tenant

1031
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 1: and I'm bloody talking about it.

1032
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, renting is fucked.

1033
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 2: I feel like a child asking mum for a biscuit.

1034
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 3: Really yeah?

1035
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 2: Yeah? Please?

1036
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: Can we have some fly screens? The Christmas beedles are

1037
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 1: landing in my hair in the shower. It's exactly what's happening,

1038
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: and you never know what the answer is going to be.

1039
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: Dry screens were approved, but I asked, can you get

1040
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: rid of the wasps nests around the front door?

1041
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 4: No?

1042
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 1: Do it yourself at night with a broomstick. Okay, once

1043
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: when we asked the landlord through the real estate agent, Oh,

1044
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:08,280
Speaker 1: would you mind getting rid of all this metal junk

1045
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: that you've left on the property, including your four lease

1046
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 1: sign that's been here since last August.

1047
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 2: They were cut. This is my suspicion.

1048
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 1: They got so cut at us for daring to post

1049
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: about that in the little app that we have for

1050
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: complaints that I got an email from the real estate

1051
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 1: agent saying it has come to our attention that you

1052
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 1: have a rolling chair in the study with no carpet

1053
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:39,720
Speaker 1: under it. Please get a carpet because it can damage

1054
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 1: I know from experience it can damage the wooden floors.

1055
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I haven't had an inspection for six months.

1056
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 1: Are you telling me someone's peering through the windows or

1057
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:49,760
Speaker 1: what's happening?

1058
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: Oh?

1059
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 1: No, I was just checking since I was seeing the

1060
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: old photos because you were of the metal stuff, seeing

1061
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 1: where that all was, and I noticed. I said, well,

1062
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: I've had a carpet under there for three months. I

1063
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,239
Speaker 1: have now gone out to office works and bought a

1064
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 1: plastic thing for under there. But I'm confused. You know,

1065
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: I genuinely love this house and would never do anything

1066
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 1: to hurt it. What are you doing and Honestly, it

1067
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:16,319
Speaker 1: was so destabilizing. I was wounded because I care so

1068
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 1: much for this fucking place. It was built in nineteen

1069
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 1: forty seven. Wow, it's beautiful. It's falling apart. There are

1070
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 1: not enormous cracks in the walls.

1071
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 5: But I adore it.

1072
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 1: But for having someone just out of the blue say

1073
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: something like I notice that you've got the wheelie chair

1074
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: on the wooden floor. It's probably trashing it.

1075
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 2: Like, what the from? What are you doing? Why are

1076
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 2: you being like this? I thought we were mates. I

1077
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 2: wished you happy Christmas.

1078
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 3: I adore you. Chris. You're the best. You're playing? Where

1079
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 3: are your novel? What's the gig you playing? Right?

1080
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 2: It's the Basement. I'm doing my show twice in Melbourne.

1081
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 3: Well may you have excellent, excellent fucking shows down at

1082
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 3: the basement, which I wish I could go to you

1083
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 3: and see you there. You're the best, Chris. Thanks gosh,

1084
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 3: that was Chris Ryan. You can find tickets to her

1085
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 3: show this Friday in Melbourne. The show is called Extreme

1086
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 3: Tenant twenty percent off. If you're write the code extreme

1087
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 3: at the top of the page. A link is in

1088
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:16,399
Speaker 3: the show notes. Also, that's where you'll find a pre

1089
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 3: order for the book. So what now?

1090
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 4: What?

1091
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 3: Please pre order it. It is enormous good for me

1092
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 3: because it is in the pre ordering that the publisher

1093
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 3: and the booksellers get an idea of how much appetite

1094
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 3: there is for this book. Pre order it right now.

1095
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 3: The link is in the show notes for that, as

1096
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 3: is link for the Story Club show on the sixth

1097
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 3: of the July Factory Theatre in Marckfield with Marley Silva,

1098
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 3: Merrick Watts Filler, Neil Naddia, Town's End, Zoe Norton Lodge,

1099
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:44,760
Speaker 3: and myself, and our theme is everybody needs good neighbors.

1100
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 3: Because we've all had good neighbors, We've also all had

1101
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 3: pretty terrible neighbors. I've got great neighbors right now. It's

1102
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 3: the best neighbors I've ever had in my life. But

1103
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 3: they're not the neighbors I'm going to talk about on

1104
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 3: the night. Thank you for listening. Thanks to Adam Bunch

1105
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 3: for producing this episode. I'll talk Jo Monday