1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: Hi guys, Happy Thursday. Welcome back to part two of 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 1: how would you approach It? 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 2: Would you approach it? Yes? I feel like I learned 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 2: myself in situations like this. Do you know what I mean? 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 3: Because I'm like, oh okay, Like that's the mature way 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 3: to approach things. Oh okay, Like what would I do 7 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 3: with myself if I was in this situation? 8 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, so you guys are helping us. Yeah, I 9 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 2: really like it. 10 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: That's probably one of my favors. 11 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,920 Speaker 2: It's fun to do it more often. 12 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 1: Yeah. 13 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 3: So we've got a couple more scenarios that you guys 14 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 3: have sent in from Tuesday's episode of you know, how 15 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 3: would we approach certain situations? 16 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 2: And we're just gonna read a couple more for you. Yeah, okay. 17 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 3: At number one, I'm currently talking to this guy, which 18 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 3: I think could become serious. We've been friends for a 19 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 3: few years, but never thought anything of it until a 20 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 3: couple of months ago when we started talking more and 21 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 3: things picked up from there. My dilemma is that I'm 22 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 3: heading off to UNI next year and he will be 23 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 3: in a different state to me. Although I know so 24 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 3: many people do long distance and make it work, I 25 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 3: just think I might have some underlying issues as my 26 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 3: ex of two years broke up with me to move 27 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 3: to Melbourne a few years back, completely blindsided me because 28 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 3: he didn't want to try a long distance as it 29 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 3: would just be too hard. 30 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:06,839 Speaker 2: So I'm just not. 31 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 3: Sure how I even bring this up with him, as 32 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 3: I don't want it to come off as I'm not 33 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 3: over my ex or anything. Is it worth getting into 34 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 3: a relationship before this new chapter of my life? I 35 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 3: feel like things my friends have been saying about not 36 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 3: getting into a relationship before UNI and getting to me 37 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 3: would love some advice on how you guys would approach it. 38 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: I think if you need to look up this girl 39 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 1: on Instagram. Her name's Melita. She's one of our good 40 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: friends and she moved from Adelaide to go to Bond University. 41 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,479 Speaker 1: She was dating her boyfriend and they've been doing long 42 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: distance now and they've been together for like six years. 43 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: If someone is right for you, and you guys have 44 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: seemed like you guys have been friends for so long, 45 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,960 Speaker 1: why not fucking give it a go. Like relationships aren't 46 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: easy in general. Long distance does make it hard, But like, 47 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 1: if you give it a go and it doesn't work, 48 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: you gave it a red hot shot and it didn't work, But. 49 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 3: Why would you not give it a go if you 50 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 3: like this, Like, yeah, that's the point of breaking up 51 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,720 Speaker 3: if you like them long distance. 52 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's constantly going to be on your mind 53 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: and everything like that, Like, it doesn't have to be 54 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: as hard as it is. Like, if you want to 55 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: make it work, you will, And if it doesn't work 56 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: a couple months down the line, you could say, Okay, 57 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 1: well I gave it a go. 58 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. It seems like you're 59 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 3: not over your ex by bringing it up. That's a 60 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 3: situation you went through. 61 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 2: It was hard. You broke up because of long distance. 62 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 3: So I think you and if he's a good guy 63 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 3: and he clearly likes you, like, that's not gonna He's 64 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 3: not gonna go. Oh, you're not over your ex and 65 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 3: you didn't like. 66 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: You guys now, so you didn't like it that your 67 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: exitit to you. So I think you deserve to give 68 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: him a go. If he's being really nice. 69 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 2: Just talk about it. I'm sure he wants to probably 70 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:36,920 Speaker 2: give it a go too. 71 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: So he knows what's coming up. 72 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no harm in trying, especially if you like someone. 73 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 3: Don't break up just because you think it could maybe 74 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 3: not work out. 75 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, don't make decisions off of what if. 76 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 2: Give it a go, give it a crap all right. 77 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: Number two my boyfriend of four years. Mum is obsessed 78 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:57,799 Speaker 1: with him. 79 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 2: That is the exhausting, fucking situation. 80 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: She already doesn't like me because I stole her only baby, 81 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 1: and now it's making it worse. We move over to 82 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 1: seas and now she hates me more. 83 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 2: Oh, I can't deal with that, honestly, It fucking pisces 84 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 2: me off. 85 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: He forgot to call her on her birthday. I texted 86 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: her and she blocked me on Facebook for three months potent. 87 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: She didn't block me and message me on Facebook. Sorry 88 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: I blocked you both. She only blocked me and then 89 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: proceeded to call him once they sorted it out. 90 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 2: Why would she block either of you because she's being petty. 91 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,519 Speaker 3: She needs to regard Yes she does, she has a husband, 92 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 3: she doesn't. 93 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: He then asked why she blocked me, and she went 94 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: on to say it was my fault. I should have 95 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: reminded him it was her birthday and they were never 96 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: actually friends on Facebook. She onlied. She unfriended me on 97 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: Central with several occasions. 98 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 3: For the story, if your own son doesn't remember her birthday, 99 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 3: why the fuck do you expect your son's girlfriend to 100 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 3: remember and remind him? 101 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 2: That's the problem that your son should have remembered your. 102 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: Yes, ninety nine percent of the time, he's super good 103 00:03:59,400 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: about defense. 104 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 2: Except this time. 105 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: My boyfriend hardly stood up for me and just said 106 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: she's a crazy bitch and there's nothing we can do 107 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: about it, and I should let it go. What should 108 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: I do about the crazy mum? How do I apply 109 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: with a one liner apology? Let me be honest, you're 110 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: fucking leading a horse to fucking a dead horse to water, 111 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: like honestly, just fucking pull in the reins and just go, well, 112 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: she's fucking crazy, can't be fucked Try not. 113 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:23,599 Speaker 3: To let it get in between you, guys, because you 114 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 3: do have to understand that being stuck in between your 115 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 3: mom and your girlfriend can be really challenging. And I 116 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,359 Speaker 3: can understand that. So, yes, he's probably he sees it, 117 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 3: he's on your side. But I also think it's presumptuous 118 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 3: to assume that someone's gonna like yell at their mum 119 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 3: for something like that, because he probably wants to keep 120 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 3: the relationship civil good. I think there are times when 121 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 3: if it like something really bad happens, he'll hopefully defend you, 122 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 3: and that's great. But I just think, but the more 123 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 3: you came out, yeah, like she's gonna try and ruin 124 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 3: the relationship because she's in. 125 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: Love with her son. 126 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 3: I think as long as you two can kind of 127 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 3: not really worry about her, move past it, focus on 128 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 3: yourselves and not her get in between the relationship you go. 129 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,719 Speaker 1: The more you keep on poking the bear akay her, 130 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 1: the more she's gonna keep on doing these fucking petty 131 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 1: little actions because she's getting a reaction out of you, 132 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 1: and she knows that it's affecting you. So just be 133 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: really agreeing, that's what I okay, yeah, okay, you can 134 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: block me. 135 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 3: I was just nice, agreeable, okay, babe, whatever you want. 136 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: Like you live in another country. You're barely gonna see her, 137 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. 138 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 3: Like, it's not she's just trying the energy best to 139 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 3: fuck things up from a distance, so you just you 140 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 3: know what, she's on the phone. 141 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 2: You can just put your phone on D and D 142 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 2: and not talk to her. 143 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: Block her. 144 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 3: You could, but she seems really immature, so I think 145 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 3: the best way to go about it is actually just 146 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 3: to be like, oh, well, yeah, I was really close 147 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 3: to this girl, let's say Sasha, and we were all 148 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 3: in a close knit group. I'd say earlier this year. 149 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 3: Sasha just stopped talking to me out of nowhere, and 150 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 3: I felt really cut off. A few weeks later, she 151 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 3: then sent me a huge paragraph saying she basically doesn't 152 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 3: want to be my friend and doesn't like how I've 153 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 3: been treating her, and says all these things that I've 154 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 3: done I did a quotation. 155 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 2: Marks for done. 156 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 3: I felt like all of her reasons were really small 157 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 3: and not plausible at all, and even me saying I 158 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 3: felt cut off was so unfair after how she's felt right, 159 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 3: some part of me really felt like it had some 160 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 3: intent to become closer with my best friend. 161 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 2: Oh, that would piss me off. 162 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 3: During this time, I was working a full time career 163 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 3: job over forty hours a week and was still a 164 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 3: full time unique student. 165 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 2: When she talked to me. 166 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 3: I went on to try and explain that I was 167 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 3: so unhappy in this job and was just struggling to 168 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 3: balance it all. In the end, it wasn't good enough, 169 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 3: and we're no longer friends moving on to now my 170 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 3: old best friend and I no longer talk and haven't 171 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:43,359 Speaker 3: in months, which is really heartbreaking. I found myself become 172 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 3: so completely depressed, struggling to do my daily tasks and 173 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 3: feel so miserable as I've lost so many people close 174 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 3: to me. 175 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:50,679 Speaker 2: That's really hard. 176 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 3: I wonder, is that old best friend and that girl 177 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 3: now best friends? 178 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 2: Probably me? Yeah? 179 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 3: All social events are now awkward, and I found myself 180 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 3: no longer going and no one seen. 181 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 2: To ask if I am going. 182 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 3: That is really challenging when you feel like no one 183 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 3: cares if you're there or not. Yeah, let me just 184 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 3: say that that is a universal experience. 185 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:09,119 Speaker 2: Yeah. 186 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 3: I understand I may have upset her, and I never 187 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 3: intentionally meant to have heard sas just say she wants 188 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 3: to forget about it and sweep it under the carpet. 189 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 3: But I feel like that isn't the case for me 190 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 3: because no one has asked my side the story or 191 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 3: how I am. 192 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 2: I feel like I've lost so much for this. 193 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 3: I don't know what to do or how to approach this, 194 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 3: even if I want to approach it, I just want 195 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 3: to be heard. 196 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 2: It's really upsetting. 197 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: I know, it's so upsetting, and you're obviously a US student, 198 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: so you're young. People come into your life for a 199 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: reason and people exit in your life, and like these people, 200 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: it just seems like you're going through a hard time, 201 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: but you're in a massive time of change, and like 202 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: these girls have made a big issue out of nothing. 203 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: I feel like it's time to just go. You're going 204 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: into the end of the year. It's so hard. But like, 205 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: I don't think they're worth your time by making things 206 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: like that and like being not giving you the time 207 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: of day to keer you out, or like wanting to 208 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: know your side of the story. I don't think they're 209 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: as good as people as you're making them out to be. 210 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 3: Fantasizing them like we always do with the bad and stuff. 211 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 3: Like bottom line is, if she's come to you with 212 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 3: a bunch of really little, small reasons that she doesn't 213 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 3: want to be your friends anymore. I know this is 214 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 3: going to be brutal to you, but she just doesn't 215 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 3: want to be your friend and was trying to find reasons, 216 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 3: yeah to say that to you, you know, and. 217 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 2: So therefore you don't need her. You're better off without her. 218 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 3: And if she's poisoning your best friends, and they're now 219 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 3: both against you. I know it seems hard and dark 220 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 3: and lonely, but you will find better people in time. 221 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,079 Speaker 3: Don't give them the time of day, don't give them 222 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 3: the light. They're probably not like. 223 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 2: They want to treat day. 224 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: They're going to get the satisfaction that they really upset you. 225 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 1: And I think that you just need to like pick you, 226 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: like as hard as it is, pick yourself up, be 227 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,840 Speaker 1: like what's meant to be will be, and just like 228 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: focus on yourself maybe, like I don't know if you 229 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,960 Speaker 1: have moved jobs by now, just like focus on your 230 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: uni and everything like that. Like everyone goes through lonely 231 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: periods of time, and you're just going through a lonely period. 232 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 3: Move to a job that's maybe a bit more enjoyable. 233 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 3: Like I've groveled after friends before, and it's only left 234 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 3: me feeling really small, really unimportant, really sad to tell 235 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 3: them how I felt and let no result, do you 236 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 3: know what I mean? So if they don't want to 237 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 3: be your friend, fuck them. Yeah, they love better people. 238 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 3: And I know it's easier said than because friendships are 239 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 3: brutal and they still are fast, you know, but. 240 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,319 Speaker 2: I feel like that all the time. 241 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: And I think it's easy to look at easy and 242 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: I on the internet and go, oh my god, you 243 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 1: have all these amazing friends and everything like that, which 244 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: we do, but like we've also had our own issues 245 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: with friendships. 246 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 2: We also feel left out. 247 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: We also feel extremely lonely sometimes, Like I am lonely sometimes, 248 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: and that's okay, but you go the best when you're alone, 249 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: and like you're just gonna continue working in yourself and 250 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna keep your head high and then you're gonna 251 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: find even better people. 252 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 3: Is just a distant memory, the best version of yourself, 253 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 3: and people flock to you people, you know, I'm sure 254 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 3: if you have a couple of friends that maybe you're 255 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 3: not that close with but you think are like really 256 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 3: nice girls, maybe put a bit more effort in that. 257 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, to do it on a weekend. 258 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: Give them an opportunity to become close to you and 259 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: give that stuff. Like I was sitting in bed with 260 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 1: my housemate Nelly, and she's a bit older than I am, 261 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: she's twenty eight, and she always has like the best advice, 262 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 1: and I was I'm not sure if you guys. I 263 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: had like a little rant on my second account TikTok 264 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: the other day and like, I'm just like going through 265 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: a shit mental health period of my life. She was 266 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: like talking to me about it because like I just 267 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: came home and I just like cuddled in her arms 268 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: and just like had to cry. 269 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 2: And she's nice that she's older. 270 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 3: It feels not mummy, and she's humming to hear that, 271 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 3: but it's like bit comfident. 272 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like she's gone through a lot and she's had 273 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 1: great life experience. She's moved from Germany, like she has 274 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,800 Speaker 1: had a lot of experience in life. And I like 275 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: was like speaking to her about it, and she was like, 276 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: do you know the best thing that makes me confident? 277 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,079 Speaker 2: And I was like what? 278 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: And she was like knowing that all my friends are 279 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 1: good people, every person I surround myself with. And she's like, 280 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: and you too, Sam, Like doesn't matter what you look like, 281 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what's on the outside, it doesn't matter 282 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: what you do for work. It's the people that are 283 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: around you that shows you how good of a person 284 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,199 Speaker 1: you are. And Sasha is not a good person. So 285 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: her removing herself from your life, it's only going to 286 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: make your is only going to make your life better, 287 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 1: because why would you surround yourself with people that do 288 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 1: that to you and that. 289 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 3: Don't care enough about your feelings to even ask what 290 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 3: your side of the story, ask how you're feeling, to 291 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 3: check on you. 292 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: So her removing herself from your life has done you 293 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: a service because then allows you to actually meet genuine, 294 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: good people that care about you in your life. So 295 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 1: not having those surface level friendships is going to do 296 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: you good at the end of the day, because you 297 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,440 Speaker 1: don't need those type of people in your life, and 298 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: it doesn't reflect you as a character because they're now 299 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: not in your life. 300 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 3: Like, my friendship group's changed and shifted a lot when 301 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 3: I just came out of school, which is probably right 302 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 3: where you are. Like, my whole friendship group changed, and 303 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 3: I had this one girl who I loved and she 304 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 3: put a lot of time and effort into me, and 305 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 3: so I kind of clung to her, hung out with 306 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 3: her friends, spend a lot more time with her. And 307 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 3: now it led me to my whole new friendship group 308 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 3: who I adore, and they're all amazing and they treat 309 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 3: me so well, nothing like what I was experiencing before. 310 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 3: But never would I ever have looked at them before. 311 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 3: I'm gone they'll be my friendship group one day, do 312 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 3: you know what I mean? But I'm so glad that 313 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 3: I lost all those people that I thought were big 314 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 3: parts of my life. 315 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 2: It was brutal. I felt so alone. 316 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 3: But now I've got this beautiful friendship group that I 317 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 3: couldn't be more lucky to have. So things were I 318 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 3: will say, it's all the cows come home. But everything 319 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,959 Speaker 3: happens for a reason. No, truly, that's like the truest 320 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 3: thing I believe that. Yeah, I always well, even when 321 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 3: I was doing that gratitude thing. On the Pea Nation trip, 322 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 3: everyone got a card and it was like she like 323 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 3: put it face down and we all had a mat 324 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 3: and we did like this meditation guided thing and it 325 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 3: was really good. And then at the end we got 326 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,719 Speaker 3: a card and it was a prompt and everyone was 327 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 3: next to me was like you're worthy, you're beautiful and 328 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,959 Speaker 3: everything like that, and I turned my card around in mind, 329 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,320 Speaker 3: was everything happens for a reason. 330 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 2: Ah, it's such a good one. And I was. 331 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 3: Lastly so true literally though, And it's like it keeps 332 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 3: you sane. I think, Yeah, when things go to shit, 333 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 3: you're like calm as a fucking bitch and everything happens 334 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 3: for a reason. 335 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 2: Other dud saying that you live by and what will 336 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 2: be will be. 337 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: Yeah know what, while we say if it's meant for you, 338 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 1: it will never pass you. 339 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, So just keep saying those mattress girl, I promise 340 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 3: it will turn in a way that makes you wonder 341 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 3: why you ever stuck around those. 342 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 2: Girls in the first place. And then you'll laugh in 343 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 2: the face as you should. 344 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: All right, all right, we love you all and we'll 345 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: see you guys next week for a fun little guest episode. 346 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 2: Can't wait. Love you Aye Bye.