WEBVTT - #2074 I Hate Myself - Dr. Blaise Aguirre 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:02.800 I'll get a team. Welcome to another installment of the 0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:05.520 Youth Project. It's Harps, it's doctor Blaze, who we're going 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:07.600 to meet in a moment, but Firs Tiffany and Cuck, 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:10.719 who is of course the life force, the blood that 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:15.000 flows through the typ veins and keeps us all in check. 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:17.639 Because like Melissa, who's the other boss, she's a little 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:21.120 bit terrifying. How are you this morning, Queen of the world. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:23.880 It is a big, exhausting job, Harps, And as we 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.280 near the end of the year, I'll be ready to 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:28.720 take a breather from that big job you give me. 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:33.000 Oh wow, how good will it be for you? It'd 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.880 be like somebody pulling a thorn out of your side 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:39.320 for you not to have to talk to me, for like, 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:43.800 do you fantasize about having time away from me? 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:47.360 That is not true, That is not true. You are 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:50.680 a breath of fresh air. And I do love to laugh, 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:53.080 which happens one hundred percent of the time. 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:56.000 So do you know what's great is that you love 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.560 to laugh? Melissa loves to laugh, and I think I'm 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:01.360 mildly amusing, which is my mostly not true. But you 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:05.000 two are so fucking easy to make laugh that you 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:07.600 build my self esteem in a way that you probably shouldn't, 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:09.160 and I get a little bit ahead of myself. Then 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:15.880 I get out with real humans realize how unfunny I am. Right, Ah, 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:22.919 doctor blaize a Geary, Sorry for mangling that. Hi buddy, 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:24.640 how are you good? 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:28.240 How's it going? We're in the middle of We're in 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:31.399 the middle of winter or just starting winter. You're going 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:32.800 to you're starting your summer now? 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:36.480 Well, dude, it was in Melbourne yesterday. It was thirty 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:41.000 eight degrees which is fahrenheit somewhere around one oh five 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:45.480 or something. So it's gone. But the thing about Melbourne 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:49.720 is Melbourne could be can be in Celsius. It can 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.720 be literally sixteen or seventeen one day and then thirty 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.520 five the next. It's just a city of extremes. But 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:01.080 nonetheless it's a beautiful place live. And you've been here, 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.280 You've been here a few times I have. 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.960 I loved it. There was a I first went in 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:11.920 twenty eleven when I went to actually I went to 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:14.920 the Sydney Olympics and then I shot over to Melbourne, 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:17.240 and that was in two thousand and then twenty eleven 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.280 I went to the National Associate International Association for the 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:25.160 Study of Personality Disorders. That was in Melbourne, and then 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:26.920 and then I don't know why I went a third time, 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:31.360 but I loved it. I loved the botanical gardens, and 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:36.520 I loved the restaurants. Of food was just crazy. And 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:40.600 then the wine was was criminal. 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:44.840 Really Yeah, Melbourne prides itself on being the best place 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:48.320 in Australia for restaurants and bars and coffee and wine 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:52.720 and food and fine dining and ti as Tiff will 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:58.640 tell you the best cookies in the world. Is that right, Yeah, 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:02.520 you are. Tiff is the best cook No, she's the 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:05.359 best cookies as in the best you know, like. 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:09.080 Tell cookies, you know, cookies like biscuits. 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:10.720 I love pistachios. 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:15.239 Oh my god, they'll change your life next time here. Yeah. 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:18.680 No, for somebody who allegedly works in the space of health, wellness, 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:21.320 fitness and high performance, she's a very bad influence on 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:24.760 a lot of people. A lot of people with with 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:28.480 with pre diabetes are being fed cookies bytes if so, 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.280 I don't know, do you try to get people sick 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:33.440 so you can then charge to get them? Well, Tiff, 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:35.000 it's not. 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:36.600 It's not a bad business. 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:40.839 Plan is it. It's not. It's probably a moral one, 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:44.480 but could be profitable. There's a lot of issues going 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:48.000 on here. Prof. Now, I was listening to you on 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:52.760 dak Shephard. What a great conversation that was, and I 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:57.240 went down by the way two hours. You're killing me, 0:03:57.480 --> 0:04:00.480 but it was amazing. So I went down the rabbit hole. 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:01.960 I went on. I'm just going to listen to twenty 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:05.680 minutes of the prof talk to these guys, and it 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:10.200 was a great conversation. And give us, give my audience 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:13.520 a little bit of a snapshot of your background, because 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:15.880 it's like you grew up in thirty two different countries 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:20.239 and I think your mom was Spanish and your dad 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:22.760 was Irish, but you grew up for a while in 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:27.039 South Africa, and yeah, give us some insight into childhood. 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:30.680 Yeah, oldest of eight children. I was actually born in 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:36.640 the States. I left when I was tiny, I am. 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:41.039 We then moved to London. My brother was born there. 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:43.960 I moved to Spain, four siblings born there, and then 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.200 South Africa where I grew up and I went to 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:51.840 medical school in South Africa, and then after that I 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:56.640 came to the States and I actually played rugby and 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:59.680 so I played rugby from my high school, a Catholic boys' school, 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.160 and I was tight head prop So then I came 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:11.880 to the States in nineteen ninety and I've joined the 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:17.440 Harvard faculty in two thousand and I've been with Harvard 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:21.200 ever since, and you know, and I've lived in the 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:26.440 Boston area for the last yeah, since then, so thirty 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:27.320 five years. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.839 We always fascinated with human behavior in the mind and 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:34.600 the brain, and like that was that I was always 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:39.080 fascinated with that. I didn't necessarily, I didn't start researching 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:40.760 until much lighter, but you. 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.760 Yeah, no, I always was. And I think that maybe 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:50.000 because I traveled so much, I just saw different people 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:53.200 in very similar circumstances, doing very very different things. I 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.599 just sort of like, what is going on? And I 0:05:55.640 --> 0:06:00.880 was also very interesting in philosophy, and you know, so 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:03.640 I just I loved questions of the human mind and 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:10.440 how the world sees things. And I think it's just 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:16.599 been remarkable, you know, living in Spain, living in South Africa, 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:19.600 living in the United States, living in England, different places, 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:22.800 just how how people interact with each other and react 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.920 to each other, and in some situations, uh, the very 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:30.800 same behavior that we pathologize in one country is just 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:34.960 normal in another country. For instance, on my mother's side, 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:38.640 all my cousins are Spanish, and I was trying to 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:42.360 explain borderline personality disorder to them as like a disorder 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.880 of like high emotions and high reactivity and a lot 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:50.000 of like intensity and everything that sounds like that sounds 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:52.960 like every single Spaniard on the planet, you know, and 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:57.320 so like in the one situation, it's you know, but 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:01.880 in in countries where you expected to have like super 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:05.839 control of yourself, you know, high expressions of emotions, especially 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:09.720 if they're paired with self destructive behaviors obviously problematic. So yeah, 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:13.720 So I was always interested in in human nature and 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:14.600 human behavior. 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:18.960 Do we know a lot more now than we did 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:21.480 fifty years ago? Do we know a lot more than 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:24.400 two thousand years ago when the Stoics were talking about, 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:28.280 you know, to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom? 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:28.920 Probably not. 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.960 I mean, I think you know, we've we've evolved technologically, 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:37.240 you know, but a lot of our basic instincts and 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:40.520 a lot of our prime fears and all of that. 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:42.720 I'm still the same. You know. We still get jealous, 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:46.360 we still get angry, we still get scared. You know, 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:51.360 we're still very very non reflective. We still don't look 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:55.520 inwardly to understand ourselves very much. So a lot of 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:57.400 that stuff. But yeah, on the other hand, you know, 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:01.560 and understayd aage we don't even need to because we 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:04.880 can ask chat GPT who we are and it'll tell us. Yeah, 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:07.360 So that. 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:10.440 Is terrifying, and I wish that that was a joke, 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:14.640 but I think that is more true than we want 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:19.960 to believe. I remember about before I started my PhD, 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:24.320 which is in psych but about seven years ago or something, 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:27.520 I did a presentation and it just happened to be 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:30.400 to a room full of psychologists, which was hilarious because 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:33.480 I was I was talking. So a friend of mine 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:36.400 is a psychologist, who organized for me to do this 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:40.120 talk to this group. And so I spent you know, 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.000 the first kind of thirty years of my working life 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:46.640 helping people get in shape, whatever that means. But getting 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:51.840 in shape physically is a psychological, emotional, sociological, behavioral, practical, 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:55.880 multi dimensional process. It's almost like it's not even about 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.320 your body. It's like your body is the consequence. It's like, 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:03.280 you know, and so I often talked to her about 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:06.320 how I would help people change, because everyone that comes 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:09.360 to a trainer, personal trainer, or a gym owner, like 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:11.599 I owned multiple gyms and I worked with I was 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.600 an excise physiologist all that, but everyone came for the 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.000 same reason, and that is they wanted to be different. 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:20.680 They wanted to look different, or feel different, or function differently, 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:24.600 or see the world or see themselves differently. And so 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:27.720 I got to a point where I realized how much 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:30.680 I knew about anatomy and physiology and energy systems and 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:35.680 nutrition was almost irrelevant unless I understood the human living 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:41.360 in the body so much of like and so anyway, 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:43.160 I did this talk to all of these syches, and 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:45.000 they're like, how do you know all this stuff? You 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:49.480 haven't studied psychology. I go, but I've been having conversations 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:52.720 with humans for thirty years about the same stuff, and 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:56.000 so you end up you know. So there's this academic process, 0:09:56.040 --> 0:10:00.360 but there's also there's this experiential classroom where for me 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:02.840 and I've been in both a fair bid. It's like, 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:05.600 I think I almost learned more out in the world 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:08.240 at the coal face of change. 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:14.560 I mean, some of the most brilliant psychologists I've ever 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:25.480 met are car mechanics, physical trainers, musicians, artists, because they 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:34.120 they pay very very careful attention to human nature and 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:39.120 to and to how things interact with each other and 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:41.440 how they impact each other. And actually I think that 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:43.800 in some ways, I mean I remember a lot of 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:47.600 my psych training early on was you know, when did 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:51.920 Pierre J develop his stages of data? Okay, so you 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.480 know I could recite all those things, but it didn't 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:57.440 teach you anything about like human nature and psychology. So 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:03.280 I mean anybody who is psychologically minded emostly intelligent as 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:07.079 a person who can can see the way that there 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:13.880 that the circumstances and biology interact with each other to 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:21.240 two to cause something, so that there's there's there's a cause, 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:24.120 and that there's effect to that course, and if you 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.360 pay careful attention, you don't need a degree in psychology 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:28.800 to be able to do that. You just need to 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:32.079 be someone who pays attention. And you know, and I 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:33.800 think that most of us don't want to do that, 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:36.360 or we're not trained to do that, or we try 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:40.440 to to to just follow you know. 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:44.640 Yeah, yeah, And I guess is that a challenge because 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.400 when you when you went to through your training, And 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:51.000 I think you said, Dax something like you were just 0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:54.960 talking about how one of the one of the lenses 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:59.360 through which you were viewing human behavioral, one of the 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.160 fields or one of the areas you've got training was 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:04.200 I think it was fraudy and psychology, right, or whatever 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:07.760 it is. You know, It's like then, which is great, 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:11.800 and you're trying to understand Freud or Jung or Whoever's 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:16.000 theories or but then at the same time, you don't 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:19.480 want to live in that echo chamber of ideology or philosophy, 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:21.920 like you want to know that, but also you want 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:25.640 to be able to think critically outside of somebody else's ideas, 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.920 right you as you know you as Blaze, I'm like cool. 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.040 I want to know what they think and what they taught. 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:35.240 I want to understand this approach to borderline personality disorder 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:38.400 or whatever it is. But I also want to know 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.800 just what you instinctively and intuitively think, because I know 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:44.720 one of the things I heard you saying you've treated 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:51.080 over five thousand people with bb bp D and a 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:53.640 lot of those are suicidal. And but I would I'm 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:56.640 more interested in just what you've learned than what the 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:57.640 textbooks sell me. 0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:03.600 Yeah, you know, I think you know, if you think about, like, 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:07.280 you know, whatever car you're driving that you drove to work, 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:09.880 and you could say, you know, it'd be interesting to 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:14.160 know what Ford did when he made the model T 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.760 forward and you know what a car looked like then, 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:18.520 and all of that sort of stuff. It's sort of 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:23.240 interesting stuff. And obviously things built on each other to 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:27.360 get to where you are now. And so so some 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:30.040 of these ideas and some of these theories are you know, 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:33.240 you don't want to throw everything out and sort of interesting. 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:37.160 But at the same time, you know that that as 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.160 we understand the brain a little bit better, as we 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:47.800 understand the nature of you know, neurons that fire together, 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:51.040 wire together, as we understand the nature of transmitters, but 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:55.480 also as we understand behavior isn't better. As we understand 0:13:57.200 --> 0:14:02.880 interconnectedness better, as we understand and you know, the way 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:05.559 that the mind works better, we have to continue to 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:10.800 adapt our technology and behavioral technology and therapy technology to 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:16.160 what's going on. But you know, so that on the 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.880 one hand, which which talk me about critical thinking, on 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:24.160 the one hand, is offset with that that you know, 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:26.760 when I was young, there was a thing and you know, 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:29.760 you're a young man yourself, but so you wouldn't know 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.720 about these things. But there's a thing, a thing called 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:36.000 a map. A map was a thing for the young listeners. 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:40.800 It was a paper. You would like look at it 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:43.240 and then you would calculate how far it took, you know, 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:45.480 to go from point A two point b, and how 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:48.360 long it would take and all sorts of things. And 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:51.320 you know, you had to use that part of your brain. 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.880 Now you just put on your you know, Google Maps 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:57.000 and it says, you know, in three one hundred meters 0:14:57.000 --> 0:15:00.840 at your next McDonald's, take a ride. And yeah, so 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:06.680 you don't have to think critically in some ways. But 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:09.760 then at the same time, human beings are suffering and 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:13.640 we don't have a roadmap for every single brain to 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:15.880 tell us when to turn right and when to turn left. 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.560 So you know, you have to understand the very nature 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:23.800 of the person. And then how you know that you 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:26.360 don't have that much time to get them on the 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.880 right track. You know, Freudian psychoanalysis was like twenty years 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.200 of sitting there, you know, four times a week in 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:36.440 therapy talking about yourself. No one has that kind of 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:42.920 time anymore. And and but yeah, somebody's suffering. Somebody's suffering 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:47.560 right now. And by suffering, I mean there's psychological suffering, 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:49.720 but there's this kind of suffering that you're talking about. 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:54.320 Let's just say that somebody's overweight and they come to 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:56.240 you and they say, I want to change my body. 0:15:56.480 --> 0:16:00.720 I want to change my aerobic capacity. I start working 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.320 out a lot. Yes, you know, they're suffering in a 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:07.200 different kind of way, but they're presenting the problem of 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.560 what it is that they want to change. So maybe 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:14.360 it's how they interact with with lovers, how they interact 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:17.120 with food, how they interact with their physical body, how 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:20.640 they interact with government, how they interact with the environment, 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:24.360 how they interact with you know, stingrays. I mean, I 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:26.320 don't know whatever it is that they want to change. 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:32.760 Yeah, yeah, so yeah, And I guess also, like I 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:36.360 would have five people come and they would want let's 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.640 just say, in this hypothetical, they'd want the same outcome. 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.000 They want to build muscle, they want to lower body fat, 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:43.640 they want to be stronger, they want to change their shape. 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:48.440 Very common. Well, even those five people with almost identical 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:52.880 desired outcomes goals, well, it depends on a bunch of 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.200 variables as to how I would train them and how 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:57.400 I would treat and manage and guide and educate and 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:02.760 inform them, because the producers say, outcome might require five 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:05.800 different paths even though they want to achieve the same thing, 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:12.360 because everybody's genetically different. So exactly, I'm wondering with mental 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:16.600 health challenges and conditions and disorders, even if somebody shows 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:18.639 up with the exact same what seems to be the 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:23.800 exact same challenge or disorder, might it be true that 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.480 there are a myriad of different paths to achieve a 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:31.480 good outcome with that person beyond just the straight diagnosis 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:32.159 of the condition. 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.800 Yeah, absolutely, Because you know, you can say there's a 0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:44.119 person who is suffering with a lot of suissidality and 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:47.600 they have said borderland personality or call it whatever, depression, 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:52.200 they're suicidal. But okay, so then you said, what I'm 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.960 going to do is this is the treatment approach that 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:57.040 that I'm going to recommend. Now, let's just say you 0:17:57.119 --> 0:17:58.800 had ten people in the same way that you have 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:06.360 showing up to your gym wanting similar outcomes, but without 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:09.399 exploring the context under which those people are living in. 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.280 You know, you don't have a fighting chance because one 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:15.520 of them is in an abusive relationship, the other one 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:19.600 has five children who are all struggling. The other one 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:22.720 has alcoholism in the family. The other one is just 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:25.160 about to lose their job. The other one has had 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:29.639 horrible side effects to antidepressant medication. And so, you know, 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:33.320 I think that we can become very, very formulaic, and 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:37.959 many of those cases formulas do work. But you know, 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:40.280 I think that when we're talking about life and death 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:44.120 without really deeply understanding where a person is coming from 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:47.480 and what the true want is, I don't think you 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:50.080 have a fighting chance of helping them. 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.520 I don't know if this is true, but it seems 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:55.240 to me that somebody in your position, like I know 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:58.359 that you're academically brilliant and very qualified and your knowledge 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:00.320 is vast. I listened to you for two hours. It's 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:03.320 fucking amazing. By the way, everyone have a listen to 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.000 that conversation. It's so good. It's on the armchair expert 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:11.320 with Blaze. But clearly you are a gifted human, like 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:16.119 you have high emotional intelligence, social intelligence, situational awareness. Like 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:21.920 I feel like, yeah, you're good, your world class amazing good. 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:25.840 But I also think you're pretty gifted as well, right. 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:32.120 I mean, look, I so I have a second degree 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:35.920 black belt in judo, and I trained with until I 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:40.080 was fifty seven with a lot of members who were 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:43.240 training for the Olympic judo team. I was a little 0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:46.440 bit too old, because you know, when you're fifty seven 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:48.800 and these guys are twenty five. But why did I 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:52.000 do that? I did that because my coach, Jimmy Petro, 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:56.200 who actually won a bronze medal in the Sydney Olympics, 0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:01.560 is a very talented, gifted, in so full intuitive person. 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:06.240 And I've had many, many, many coaches in different sports 0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:10.520 who who you know, who go through the formulas, but 0:20:10.640 --> 0:20:14.320 they don't have that wisdom that sort of allows them 0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:20.159 to differentiate, differentiate you from another judoka or you know, 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:25.200 or run you know, fifty seven marathons and including one 0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:27.920 in Melbourne where I did a six hour track race. 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:30.800 We ran three hours one way and then three hours 0:20:30.880 --> 0:20:33.199 the other way. But the thing is in all of 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:36.719 those conditions were very, very different. And the thing about 0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:39.560 you know, what you want is you want somebody who 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:43.600 knows how to follow the book and understands the physiology 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:45.439 and the anatomy in the way that you do. If 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:47.840 you're working the rear delts, that's one thing. If you're 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:51.919 working the the abs, that's another thing. And who can say, okay, 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:53.600 this is how we go into work the you know, 0:20:53.680 --> 0:20:57.359 the different this head of the delta and then versus 0:20:57.359 --> 0:20:59.560 this or whatever it is. You want to have someone 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:02.679 who has but at the same time, somebody might have 0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:07.280 rheumatorial arthritis, somebody might have fibromiologist, somebody might have the 0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:11.560 eating TIFFs cookies, the one that she's poising everybody with, 0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:15.159 and you know, and have different kinds of problems. So 0:21:16.440 --> 0:21:20.280 the so I think that understanding those kinds of things 0:21:20.280 --> 0:21:23.960 in context and then and that the person that you're 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:27.760 looking for is somebody who does know the techniques but 0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:30.160 also can see you in the context. And I think 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:33.719 that's the blend. And I've tried to shape my understanding 0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:36.439 of people to sort of say, Okay, I get it, 0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:40.280 you're depressed, you're anxious, you bipolar, your substance using, but 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:43.760 this is also the context under which you live. And 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:46.560 it seems to me, Craig that that that's one of 0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:49.560 the things that you do. You know, when you're talking 0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:51.280 about you know, the people that you would meet in 0:21:51.320 --> 0:21:54.280 your gym's just like there aren't just five people who 0:21:54.320 --> 0:21:57.560 want the exact same outcome, is that you're you're understanding 0:21:57.640 --> 0:21:59.359 them in context. And I think that that's what the 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:00.080 difference is. 0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:04.760 To what extent I'm just opening the theory of mind 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:08.040 or to what extent do you think people can understand 0:22:08.080 --> 0:22:12.160 someone else's reality? And I know that's a very messy 0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:16.320 broad but I feel like it's something most people don't 0:22:16.359 --> 0:22:19.920 even really think about, like what is Blaze's experience right 0:22:19.960 --> 0:22:22.840 now in this conversation on this podcast with this Australian 0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:25.439 guy and this Australian girl. You know, I try to 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:28.800 be at least aware of that. To what extent do 0:22:28.880 --> 0:22:30.840 people have that capacity? Do you think? 0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:36.600 Yeah? I mean I think, like with almost any talent 0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:39.399 and ability, there are things that can be trained. You 0:22:39.400 --> 0:22:41.320 know that there's ways in it which we can pay 0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:46.399 attention to each other and sort of you know, in 0:22:46.480 --> 0:22:48.760 terms of theory of mind saying oh, I wonder why 0:22:49.000 --> 0:22:51.679 he did this, or I wonder why that joke, or 0:22:51.720 --> 0:22:54.919 I wonder why the sort of engagement. I think that 0:22:54.960 --> 0:22:58.000 we all have to a certain degree some capacity to 0:22:58.040 --> 0:23:00.719 do it. I think that there are certain conditions you know, so, 0:23:00.800 --> 0:23:05.320 for instance, in people with autism, it seems that that 0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:08.760 that ability to understand somebody else's mind is can be 0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:13.280 somewhat compromised. But I'll, you know, look, in as much 0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:15.719 as I've done some really great work, I have a 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:20.280 friend who's got significant obsessive compulsive personality disorder o CPD, 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:23.480 who are very very rigid, and we were going to 0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:29.320 go to a restaurant and you know, and on the 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:32.280 way there, I said, oh, they said, like, I'm really 0:23:32.280 --> 0:23:34.240 really hungry. And I said, oh, what about this restaurant 0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:36.640 that was over there, just thinking, okay, if you're that hungry, 0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:38.720 maybe we could stop somewhere else. And they got really 0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:41.520 angry at me, and then I got pissed off at them, 0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:43.159 like why are you getting so angry at me? You know, 0:23:43.160 --> 0:23:44.760 I thought you said you were hungry, and I was 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:49.800 making this other recommendation. So even somebody who understands the mind, 0:23:50.240 --> 0:23:53.639 you know, I have my own reactions and then, you know, 0:23:53.760 --> 0:23:55.720