WEBVTT - The internet thinks we’re doing motherhood wrong 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.880 Heyat's las quick one before we get into it. Like 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:05.400 many of you, we are in the depths of school holidays, 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:07.880 so we're rerunning a couple of our absolute favorites for you. 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:10.119 If you miss these the first time around, you're in 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:12.040 for a treat. And if you didn't trust me, they 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:13.320 more than hold up for a second. 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:17.360 Listen, enjoy, and just a quick note from my laptop 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:20.480 microphone with Spider Man playing in the background. 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:23.520 This show used to be called Witching Hour, so. 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:26.680 You'll see just how far the production value has come 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:30.000 from this episode to the ones we now produce today. 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:33.560 But as Law said, I think the conversation still holds. 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:36.400 This podcast was recorded on the lands of the boon 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.320 Warong people of the Kulin Nation, the land on which 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:42.479 we're lucky enough to raise our sons and daughters, always was, 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:44.720 and always will be Aboriginal Land. 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.760 Hello and welcome to Witching Hour, the show by Ready 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:53.320 or Not, the looks at what's exciting, delighting, intriguing, and 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:55.520 frustrating us when it comes to making work. 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:57.080 Well, I'm Lou. 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:00.000 And I'm Loz. Kicking things off with a good news story. 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:03.160 I actually saw a very funny start this week that 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:08.640 said means nothing in relation to work or motherhood really, 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.160 but it did say if you leave parties without saying goodbye, 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:16.240 you can save two days per year. Research suggests that 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:19.280 average goodbyes at a party take around two to three 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:22.399 minutes per person. At a gathering with ten to twenty people, 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:25.559 you're looking at twenty to sixty minutes just to say 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:29.039 bye by multiple events per year, and skipping farewells could 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:31.360 save you up to forty eight hours annually or two 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:32.120 full days. 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:35.560 That does relate to mums, because I will take anything 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:38.160 I can get, just quickly. I got a little bit 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.440 drunk on Saturday night and people are at my house, 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:42.880 and I smoke smoke bombed from my own house and 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:46.480 went to bed without saying. I was so tired. I 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:49.720 couldn't keep up with conversation. Hads was there, and I thought, 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:51.520 even though it was all the girlies and none of 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:53.960 his mates, I thought, I'm sneaking off. 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:54.680 I'm so tired. 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:57.320 You do it, You go go. You've just saved yourself 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:01.720 probably what twenty minutes. It's time to wrap things up. 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:07.280 And kicking them out, So I just left. I love 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:08.799 that lossy. 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.800 You mentioned that Siena hadn't been listening to you tell 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:13.679 me what happened on the hearing test. 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:14.720 I want to know all about it. 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.960 For anyone that thinks, like genuinely that maybe they're not 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.200 listening is more than a not listening problem. 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:25.120 Okay, So just to preface it by saying, I booked 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:27.720 center in for a hearing test, and when I went 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:30.520 to actually get the hearing test for Siena, they said 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:33.840 eighty percent of people that book hearing tests wanting to 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:37.560 do it before either school starts kinder starts. More as 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:40.840 like a I don't want to say tickbox thing, but 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:44.520 more as a peace of mind thing. So even if 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:47.160 you're like, oh, my child's pretty good, if you have 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:50.520 any concerns, couldn't recommend more highly just to put your 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:54.200 mind at ease. Secondly, I just think that the school 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:56.320 holidays really got to me this time around. They were 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.919 really long and over the course of like, oh, it's 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.600 six weeks, eight weeks, I just don't even know how long. 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:05.320 It was a freaking long time. Sienna would ask me 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:09.239 multiple times, what did you say? What I can't hear you? 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.120 Can you turn the tava up? I can't hear it? 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:13.919 And I was like, okay, She's actually usd so many 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:17.440 times now that I'm getting to the point of frustration. 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:19.799 I'm just going to book in a hearing test. Went 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:23.280 to the hearing test, took three minutes, was so quick. 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:27.120 They were so great with kids. There are no problems. 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:30.720 So the problems are in the house, not in the yst. 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:33.239 Problems. 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:36.240 Do you sit down with Siena and get the prognosis 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.120 and you go, Now, your hearing is great? 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:42.600 So what the fuck are we going to do about communication? Sweetie, stylist? 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:44.440 I know you're only four, but we need to have 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:44.920 a talk. 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:48.760 Yeah, And I said to write my husband Ry. I 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:50.320 was like, okay, so there's nothing wrong me. He's like, 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:52.200 all right, so we just spent one hundred and sixty 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.840 five bucks for nothing. I'm like, no, not for nothing. 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:58.560 The sanity for me knowing that I wasn't going insane 0:03:58.600 --> 0:04:01.200 because I genuinely thought to myself, does she have a 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:04.400 hearing problem? At least now I can confidently say no, 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.480 it's not not a specific issue. There's nothing wrong with 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:09.600 her ears or her hearing. It's just selective. 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:13.600 Yeah, it's very selective. Once the TV out wants the 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:14.600 mummy down. 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:19.920 Imagine if our kids had volume buttons for us, I'd. 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:23.040 Just go back at the kitchen, my mummy. 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:24.840 I want you to cook for me, but I don't 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:26.960 want you to talk exactly right. 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:28.800 And I also want to just follow up on last 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.440 episode where I complained about parts because so many people 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:35.280 have kindly suggested alternative studios, of which I have already 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:37.360 tried it. Three of your recommendations and I'm trying another. 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.280 Guess so efficient you are nuts? How have you already 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:41.080 gone to three? 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:43.760 Because I couldn't help myself. I feel like when people 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:46.800 recommend something, and also people should know this about me, 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.720 I jump on stuff immediately, like I don't have any 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:54.279 rationale when it comes to trying stuff. If someone gives 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.280 me a recommendation, I'm like, oh, try it, that's all 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.560 I need, just a quick little you should do. 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:00.400 So if someone says I went to the best sex 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.720 club on the weekend, you're all right, Well, I. 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:04.599 Guess I give it a crack. 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:08.080 Pregnant with my third what could possibly go wrong? Oh 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:08.640 my god? 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.040 Maybe not that far. But thank you for all your recommendations. 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:15.520 Some have been excellent. I have a front runner at 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:18.000 the moment, but I'm going to try another two and 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:20.400 then I feel like five is enough for me. There 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:22.840 was lots, so sorry be thanks so many. 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:25.000 What do you think was the I feel like universal 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.200 Practice was one of the most mentioned. 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.640 What else was most mentioned? Do you remember bump in Maulvin? 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:33.240 I think was bump in Maulvin was mentioned. I did 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:37.240 try their be Active was also mentioned. I've also tried 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:41.400 their Core plus was another one, yeah, which I tried 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:43.880 the other day, which was really good. And then another 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:46.080 one called Bumps. There's been heaps, like, there's so many, 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:47.440 and peaches I think another. 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:48.960 One patrees, Yes, that was another thing. 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:52.040 Yes, so there's quite a few. I sadly won't be 0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:54.560 able to do all of them, because what. 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:56.320 Do you mean, You've got so much time on your 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:56.720 hands with. 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:59.920 You you're one day a week ready or not, job, 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.240 your two children, and your pregnancy. 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:03.520 Why aren't you fitting that in? 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:05.680 I don't know, Like I would actually love to trial 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:07.520 them all just so that I can offer other people 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.040 advice and be like this, I was not good, this 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.800 time is great, go to this instructor whatever. But I 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:13.520 have tried quite a lot, So I've got two more 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.400 to go and then I'll make my final decision. 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:17.120 Maybe come back to us. 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:19.719 We won't rank them, because I'm sure they're all great businesses, 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.240 but just come back to us with what personally for 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:26.599 you ends up being the one. Okay, Okay, next time 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:30.360 I will So today, what are we talking about? When 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:33.560 will we stop judging the mums? I've seen a bit 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:36.880 of discourse on my Instagram this week about dms coming 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:40.880 in to mums very unsolicited. They might be mentioning that 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:42.920 things have been a little bit hard lately. They might 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:45.880 be mentioning that they're wanting to rip out their eyeballs 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:47.800 a bit. Most of it is said in jest, a 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:50.040 bit of a laugh, bit of fun. We all love 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:52.600 our kids, but every now and then it's hard. Let 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:54.800 the mum speak what I say, why can't we stop 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.359 judging them? I will give you a few stories, and 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:59.400 then I'll ask you why you still think that we 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:01.960 do this so much and what can we do about it? 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.839 And then secondly, you're bringing to me the hidden bias 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.040 in job applications, why women are being turned off by 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:10.840 the questions we don't ask men. 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:12.840 Take it away, my friend. 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:16.080 Or you're taking it away. I know that we often 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:19.120 do this, We often do this, but in fact, today. 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:23.080 You ate it when I do this, take it away. 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:25.360 I am friends with myself, so take it away. My 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:29.920 friend Planning from Little Label, a children's and women's wear brand, 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:33.720 recently posted a real In it, she shows the utter 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.600 chaos that is being a working mum during the school 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.320 holidays and make some jokes about wanting to get a 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:42.000 one way ticket to Fiji I would like one also, 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:45.240 and wanting to rebout her eyeballs. It's linked in the 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.800 show notes, so go there for further context. But it's 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.520 just meant for a bit of fun. Someone came into 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:54.280 her DMS with some unsolicited advice saying that she should 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:55.320 be a bit more grateful. 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:56.960 And while some. 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.080 Of the people that did come into a DMS were 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:02.840 able to have roba conversations and offer reasons why they 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:05.920 think she shouldn't share it, some people were just downright mean. 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.600 Another example came up in my social media stories very 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:13.080 shortly after this from Bridget Gaiale. She's been interviewed on 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.320 Ready or Not before, and her first Instagram story was 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:20.000 a selfie of her child cuddling her, saying that her 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:21.720 daughter sort of didn't want a bar of her she'd 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.680 picked her up from daycare or wherever, and her daughter 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:27.720 didn't really want much from her she had in her 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:31.440 DM someone responding saying, I hope you can repair your 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:34.360 relationship with your daughter. That would never happen with me 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.800 and my daughter. Bridget and I went on to have 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.520 a conversation about this, saying as if that person has 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:42.000 never had their child speak badly to them or not 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:43.760 win a bar of them, and that. 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:45.040 It's all just part and parcel. 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:47.320 The next day she was absolutely loving her mum sick 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:49.000 as we know, light and. 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:50.800 Shade and motherhood in all these situations. 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:53.959 Third example happened I reckon about a year ago, Lozzie, 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:56.560 when I told you you sent me a video of 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.720 Sienna just having one of those windy days the way 0:08:58.800 --> 0:08:59.440 kids always do. 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:01.880 Yeah, and you sent me a video of you walking 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:02.439 down the street. 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:04.840 Me like, oh look, I'm looking forward to getting in 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:08.199 the office today. For anyone that knows you, you absolutely 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:10.719 love being a mum. You'll always talk about the positivity. 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.400 But on that day you needed a break. When I 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:15.680 told you to whack that on the radio ho Arts story, 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:19.960 someone replied, poor child, I'm unfollowing, and we well, you 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.400 mostly had a laugh about it. I was upset because 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.600 I take a thing to heart and this happens all 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.880 the time. These are not three ISO loaded incidents, but 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:32.040 it did spark something inside of me. And my question 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:35.880 for you is why do we still judge mums so much? 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:39.760 And how do we stop doing it? Well, I don't 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:43.040 know the answer to either. Mat we all do it, 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:46.320 and anybody that says they don't would be lying. I 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:48.080 think we're all trying to do our best at doing 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:54.120 it less. Obviously, judgment creates conversation when you are judging someone, 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:58.640 When you have a strong opinion on something, when something bothers, 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:02.040 you speak about it, whether it's in a positive or 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.960 a negative light, creates connection because there'll be people that 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.520 agree with you and people that don't. And more importantly, 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.000 it creates conversation. It gives you something to talk about. 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:16.559 Where I think society is really polarizing is genuinely about 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:21.520 topics like parenting or mums and what we should and 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.640 shouldn't be doing. Because traditionally there was this view that 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:26.640 everybody's still trying to break or a stigma that like 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:29.520 being a mom means you're like really nurturing and warm 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:32.360 and always available to your children, and that's kind of 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:38.439 a concept that I think has become more so prevalent butt. 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:41.080 Because there's more options, but like society hasn't caught up yet, 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.000 Like is it a s yes, do you think? 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:48.240 Yeah, it's really odd. It's so bad, it's really sad. 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.439 Back in the day, Like I remember my parents when 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:52.439 I was younger, I used to go out for dinner 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:54.240 with them and they would genuinely just ignore me, and 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.079 I would sit under the table, like looking at chewing 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:58.839 gum on the table, sometimes eating it when I was 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:02.520 like four, and just like coloring in under the table, 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:05.439 and that was acceptable. No one ever said to them, oh, 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:07.320 my gosh, that it is so disgraceful, Like how could 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:10.280 you take your children out and not engage with them? 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:12.320 Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I had fun, 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:14.280 they had fun. If I was to do that today, 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.680 the amount of looks that I would get, I'm not 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.080 putting my child in an unsafe environment under a table. 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:22.040 They're safe. Okay, maybe they're eating some stale old chewy, 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:23.080 but they're not going to die. 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:25.040 Oh they've done that before probably. 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:27.680 Yeah, absolutely, But the amount of looks that I would 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:29.839 get would be out of control. And I don't know 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.240 if it's social media or like what it is, but 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:36.080 it's like there's this heightened sense of judgment towards everything, 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:38.240 not just that but everything. 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:41.000 It's almost like the blessing and the curse of more 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:43.640 choice because we are in this sticky period where we're 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:46.280 getting more choice, but we're like in a transition period. 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:49.079 I feel like women and mums had less choice back 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:51.800 in the day for the vast majority. Do you think 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:55.400 almost that there's so much choice means our decisions feel 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.079 so loaded because we're always. 0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:59.160 Trying to get it right, but we don't actually know 0:11:59.200 --> 0:11:59.920 what is right. 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:02.959 Everything's right, and everything's wrong. 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:05.080 Yes, that is so true. 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:09.160 And for all these people that say things like, oh, 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.679 you know, my child would never do that, maybe they wouldn't. 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.680 But what I will say is that at some point 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.600 in your life you are going to face a situation 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:22.640 with your child where they disagree with what you are doing, 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:26.360 unless you run a militant operation at home, of which 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:27.880 there's all sorts of problems with, right. 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:30.240 Yeah, yeah, like that society would be like a child 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:32.160 never backlashes against. 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:35.160 You, exactly. So there's like two different views on the 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:39.680 same behavior. Where I think I find it, honestly bizarre, 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:46.280 is the courage of people to leave negative comments so 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:49.040 publicly and openly. I would never. 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:51.920 Imagine dming a mum that you didn't agree with looszi, like, 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.600 unless I would just never about like leaving a gun 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:57.520 in her child's bedroom, which even still I wouldn't respond, 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:00.000 But you know, unless it was a very obvious, blome, 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:03.680 black and white version of like, you know, negligence, I'm 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:04.439 not going there. 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:06.320 And even then I'm still probably not going there. 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:11.559 I find it unbelievable that people feel so empowered and 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:17.520 so politically correct that their opinion is the rolid yeah, 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.400 and they really stick by it. Like if someone's posting 0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:21.680 a reel of their day and what their life looks like, 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.839 and you're navigating the complexities of having a tantrum and whatever, 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.640 let them be. If you don't like the content, don't comment, 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:28.800 just go to. 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.120 The next Oh a way. 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:32.920 I have something else that semi relates to this, and 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:35.240 this is that Mama Maya put up a piece that 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:38.040 I saw that the title was along the lines of 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.360 if this feels like the longest school holidays you've ever had, 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:44.280 it is because they have been the longest, Like maybe 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.439 it was a few days longer than last year or whatever, 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:50.439 compared to you know, in relation to how the days 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.040 of the week are full, and maybe it's like, you know, 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:52.800 two days longer. 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:53.199 Whatever. 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:55.440 Anyway, I didn't really read the article, but I was 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:58.600 interested in the comments because there were a lot, and 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.640 I noticed something batter within myself. So a lot of 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.320 the people wrote back, very peacefully, just saying they actually 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.280 haven't felt long. To me, I am dreading them ending 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.880 and that's lovely, that's like a nice opinion. 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:12.800 No backlash tied to it. 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.000 Then there was, of course the people that are like, 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:18.320 reality check, if you have kids, you're going to have 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.760 to parent them, like don't hate spending time with your child, 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:23.480 or don't even bother having children. 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:24.720 Now that's what we're going to do. 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:28.840 Which is absolutely not about But I find myself, even 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:32.480 though I haven't entered school holidays yet, I feel like 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.360 by the end of school holidays, I will be one 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:36.880 of those moms that's like, WHOA, love you so much, 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:39.280 had the best time with you, but I also need 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:40.120 you back in school. 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:40.440 Now. 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.440 Why did I get triggered by even the peaceful versions 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.240 of people saying, oh no, I've really enjoyed this, Like 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.400 the ones they weren't being nasty, they weren't being judgment 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:51.000 or they were just saying, oh, no, I've loved this period. 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:52.520 Why does even that trigger me? 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:56.200 Because I think it comes back to potentially me thinking 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:58.600 that's what makes a perfect mum as opposed to wanting 0:14:58.640 --> 0:14:59.920 your kids to go back to school. 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:01.000 What did you think got on? 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:04.360 No, I think you've nailed it. That's exactly right. Innately, 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.920 you're gonna feel like some form of guilty in some way, 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:10.000 and it could be like I catch myself sometimes I'm like, 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:11.920 oh my god, it seems just driving me mad today, 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.280 you know, like yesterday I had a really long day 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.080 with the kids, Like, yeah, it's one day, I get it. 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:20.040 And it was a really nice morning. But then in 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:24.360 the afternoon, Zay found a tomato sauce bottle. He literally, 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.120 I don't even know how it happened. He squeezed into 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:31.600 the storiere. Yeah, there was just everywhere, And all I 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:33.360 could think to myself is I took my eyes off 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:36.880 you for two minutes to unload the laundry and hang 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:40.320 it on the line, and now I have to clean 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:43.920 this Crap's like the next ten minutes. It's so fuch 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:45.800 to use carve it in soores. I'm like, don't touch anything. 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.040 And in that split moment, I was like, oh, this 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:51.560 is so frustrating. And I did catch myself and I 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:52.920 spoke to a girlfriend. I'm like, oh my god, I'm 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:55.920 just so peeved, like I've fucking got tomato sauce everywhere. 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.840 She's like, yeah, kids are just hard, man. I'm like yes, 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:00.760 And in that moment, that's what I need somebody to 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.640 say to me. Kids can be really hard. I love 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:05.520 being a mum, but if that friend it turned around 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:09.040 a meeting laws, you should be grateful. You've got amazing kids. Mate. 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:11.200 I know I am every day. That's a given. I 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.960 just need to vent and everybody's entitled to do that, 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:17.720 whether it's about your kids, your work, your body. Sometimes 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:20.400 I don't know the chair that you're sitting in, whatever 0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:24.040 it might be. We are humans. We have fluctuations in 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:29.000 mood and tempereds in needs. Like, come on, let's just 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:30.720 give each other a little bit of grace and stop 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.600 the negative comments when people do say something that maybe 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:34.640 isn't picture perfect. 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.280 I think that is a beautiful way to end this segment, 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.480 is that kids can be hard, and you are okay 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:44.560 if you don't love every single moment. So if you 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.400 crawl to the end of the finish line of those 0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:48.480 school holidays, you do bloody good. 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:49.600 Mum, well done. 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:53.880 The hidden bias in job applications Why women are being 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:57.560 turned off by the questions we don't ask men. A 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:00.360 recent news story made headlines when a female up of 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.520 the Defense Force was asked about her menstrual cycle as 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:07.720 part of the recruitment process. I see your face. Yes, 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:12.240 while this is extreme, it raises a larger issue. So 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:16.120 the subtle and not so subtle ways the application process 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.040 still isn't designed with women in mind. Now, I want 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.639 to say, yes, this is an extreme situation, and of 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:23.879 course I'm very aware that there are some professions that 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:29.200 do need like a medical documental medical records when you apply. 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:34.120 I am slightly confused by the menstrual cycle thing. 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:36.040 Is it an interesting one? 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:40.200 I'll just quickly almost go against my initial reaction. Part 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:44.200 of me wonders, is it like we want the workforce 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:47.840 to understand more what happens with menstrual cycles and menopause 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:48.760 and all of those things. 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:51.320 Is there any way in which this is a positive 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:52.080 I don't. 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:56.439 Know unless they're doing training based on the phase that 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:58.280 you're in of your mental instrumental. 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:01.720 Sitting you in a classroom while you're during your period, 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:03.720 but then when you're lout tealing. 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.560 You are out there running. Like, if it's something like that, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:08.879 maybe you can get around it. But you're going to 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:09.440 tell me more. 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:14.000 It's definitely odd. And I will say, in this particular instance, 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.800 this person was applying for a photography job, like, how 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:21.840 is this relevant taking photos? I don't really understand, but 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:23.320 it has raised the questions. 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:26.480 So a photography job in the Defense Force? Is that 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:29.120 what you're saying? Yes, okay, that doesn't make any sense. 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:30.280 Yeah, it's odd. 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:34.640