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Speaker 1: My guest today is a powerhouse boxer, a Commonwealth Games

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Speaker 1: and Olympic medallist, a man who came to speak with

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Speaker 1: me only a month after he returned from the twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty four Games in Paris, after just missing out on

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Speaker 1: what he went there to get.

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Speaker 2: So I believe masculinity, and people think that here masculine,

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Speaker 2: They instantly think man. Of course, masculinity comes in many forms.

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Speaker 2: I know a lot of women who have really strong

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Speaker 2: masculine traits, and they're strong, powerful. My mum is one

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Speaker 2: of them. She's a really powerful right. But I think

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Speaker 2: masculinity is the stabilizing trunk in a tree. It's the

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Speaker 2: one where all the wind pushes it, but they stand

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Speaker 2: there strong. They do the things underneath the surface, like

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Speaker 2: the acts of service they provide, they protect, they get

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Speaker 2: the things. The feminine energy is the leaves, the beauty

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Speaker 2: to flow. And we see that. We look at the

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Speaker 2: leaves and we love the leaves. They look so good,

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Speaker 2: but they need both in order to be there right.

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Speaker 2: And the log of a tree cries, it bleeds when

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Speaker 2: it needs to write. And I think that, I think

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Speaker 2: that masculinity, whether that be a man, whether that be

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Speaker 2: a woman, is that stabilizing trunk who does a lot

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Speaker 2: behind the surface, underneath the ground that we don't see.

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Speaker 2: What do you see on movies growing up? You see

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Speaker 2: these action figures Clint Eastwood, Rambo, like these these big

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Speaker 2: strong characters. Right, That's what man is, as being a

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Speaker 2: man is. And I just I feel like my man,

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Speaker 2: who constantly was questioned by myself and probably by if

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Speaker 2: I had that belief, I collected the evidence if that

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Speaker 2: was true. And then at the age of nine, I

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Speaker 2: decided to do something different. I played basketball quite competitively

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Speaker 2: and a few other sports. But I told my mom,

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Speaker 2: She's like, you want to start boxing? Like you can

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Speaker 2: see in her eyes think you're like the softest one

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Speaker 2: in the family. What do you want to start boxing for?

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Speaker 2: And then yeah, I walked into a boxing gym and

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Speaker 2: fell in love with the sport almost instantly. I think

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Speaker 2: that when I started the journey of my Olympic stardom

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Speaker 2: or wanting Olympic stardum, it was from potentially a negative place,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but it was from a place of like,

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Speaker 2: maybe when I get there, it's like everyone will think

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Speaker 2: that I'm good enough, I'm worthy enough. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 2: it's so interesting. I went on a twenty year journey,

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Speaker 2: and through that journey, I finally realized that I'm good enough.

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Speaker 2: And then in that it's like I don't actually care

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Speaker 2: too much about like achieving a goal. It's like, of course,

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Speaker 2: I think it's really important to set a massive whatever.

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Speaker 2: My next goal is set a big, audacious goal that

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Speaker 2: feels unachievable. But I become a better version of myself

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Speaker 2: even if I don't get to that destination. But I

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Speaker 2: will try my hardest to get there, and I hope

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Speaker 2: I achieve it. But if I don't, it doesn't impact

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Speaker 2: who I am as a person. I know who I am.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy with who I am. I'm a curious, loving, caring,

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Speaker 2: deeply flawed, complex human who is always striving to get better.

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Speaker 2: And I love that about myself.

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Speaker 1: Harry is an immensely powerful young man, very comfortable in

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Speaker 1: his skin and very comfortable challenging the norms of masculinity,

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Speaker 1: from wearing nail polish on his fingernails to absolutely serving

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Speaker 1: on a red carpet wearing a skirt and a jacket.

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Speaker 1: I truly relished speaking with Harry about what it means

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Speaker 1: to be a man A lot younger than me. He's

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Speaker 1: twenty two years younger than me, so it was fantastic.

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Speaker 3: Speaking with him.

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Speaker 1: Hearing the way he describes masculinity as mature or immature

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Speaker 1: has given me such a wonderful new lens to look

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Speaker 1: at the men around me and even look at myself.

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Speaker 3: Harry's written a book. It's freaking good.

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Speaker 1: It's called The Good Fight. I'll put a link in

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Speaker 1: the show notes so you can snap up a copy

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Speaker 1: because it's well worth it.

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Speaker 3: I know you're going to love this chat. It's fantastic.

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Speaker 1: Before we get there, though, I've got a play some

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Speaker 1: mats back after the break. Gooday, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: This is better than yesterday, helping you make today better

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Speaker 1: than yesterday. Since twenty thirteen, my nam Zoshia Ginzburg.

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Speaker 3: I am a.

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Speaker 1: Podcaster, I'm a best selling author. I'm a documentary maker

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Speaker 1: and an award winning documentary maker. I'm a TV host.

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Speaker 1: I'm a new gym explorer. I'm a cargo bike commuter.

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Speaker 1: I'm very glad that you'll hear. So let's get to

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Speaker 1: Harry Garside. He's an absolutely brilliant man, someone i'm.

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Speaker 3: So glad exists in a world. This world that I

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Speaker 3: live in with you.

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Speaker 1: He's a person who really does think quite deeply and

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Speaker 1: with a huge amount of empathy for other people. He

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Speaker 1: and I speak about masculinity, personal growth, and the power

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Speaker 1: of mentorship for young men. If you've never stepped into

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Speaker 1: a boxing ring, hearing Harry speak of the primal nature

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Speaker 1: of combat sports and the transformative power of pushing yourself

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Speaker 1: outside of a comfort zone, it's just mesmerizing you hear

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Speaker 1: what he he doesn't think called the uncomfortable challenge. Just

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Speaker 1: wait till you hear it. It's just really something. Harry

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Speaker 1: is a very special man, and for somebody who's just

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Speaker 1: so successful already in his athletic career, I truly believe

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Speaker 1: that his best work is yet to come. He's a boxer,

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Speaker 1: he's a thinker, he's a poet.

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Speaker 3: He's a true.

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Speaker 1: Leader of men. I loved having this conversation. I know

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Speaker 1: you're going to dig it too. This is the magnificent

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Speaker 1: Harry Garside Banks Man.

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Speaker 2: Ready to rumble.

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Speaker 1: Now, normally, when you're getting ready to do something like

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Speaker 1: I would say, all right, let's do this, you just

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Speaker 1: use the words let's get ready to rumble. It's actually

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Speaker 1: in my vein and there's something beautiful about that.

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Speaker 2: So true. Boxing never escapes me.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for coming, Harry, how you feeling.

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Speaker 2: I'm grateful to be here. I've obviously seen you growing

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Speaker 2: up on the TV shows and stuff like that. So

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Speaker 2: it's a bit of a pitch myself. But I've had

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Speaker 2: a busy few days, but I love to talk, so

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Speaker 2: I'm this one.

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Speaker 3: How long have you been back?

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Speaker 2: Good question. I think it's about just on two weeks

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Speaker 2: now and I spent most of that time with family

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Speaker 2: in Melbourne, so we've just been really nice.

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Speaker 1: People can have disappointments in their life. I've been divorced.

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Speaker 1: That's an example. You know, people knew about it, but

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Speaker 1: you know, I got to most for the most part,

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Speaker 1: got to go through it fairly privately. But you know,

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Speaker 1: it's what makes what you do so incredible that you're

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Speaker 1: putting it out there to the world, literally the world.

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Speaker 1: This is what I'm going to achieve and you have

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Speaker 1: achieved that in the past, and sometimes you don't achieve that.

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Speaker 1: You don't really get to go through it by yourself, though,

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Speaker 1: do you.

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Speaker 2: M It's so true and it's I think like that.

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Speaker 2: So when I lost at the Olympics and that feeling

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Speaker 2: of like it's like the embarrassment, and I really reflect on,

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Speaker 2: like what was I embarrassed of? And it's like I

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Speaker 2: think it's putting yourself in the arena and sort of

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Speaker 2: falling on your face in front of everyone. Everyone's watching.

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Speaker 2: But I'm so unbelievably grateful to be Australian right now.

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Speaker 2: It's like crazy for my wildest nightmare to come true

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Speaker 2: and then to get a big hug from Australia. It's

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Speaker 2: a weird reality because you're like, I didn't anticipate this

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Speaker 2: out thought everyone online people are going to think this.

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Speaker 2: They're going to be saying this, I'm a failure, I'm

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Speaker 2: a drop kick, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, but

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Speaker 2: everyone's just going coming bay give me fail. So it's

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Speaker 2: been unbelievably It's just it's I can't even put like

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Speaker 2: articulate what it's felt like. It's a really weird reality

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Speaker 2: that I'm in right now.

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Speaker 1: Ye imagine the you know, the snow globe has still

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Speaker 1: got all the stuff falling. You know, there must be

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff still still kind of storthing around.

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Speaker 1: So let me just kind of ask you, like what's

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Speaker 1: it like to go all right, nutrition players out the window. Here,

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Speaker 1: what's that first meal?

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Speaker 2: Like it's real dirty and greasy and trashy, and I

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Speaker 2: love it. We all love it. And it's so funny.

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Speaker 2: All boxes do the same thing. So obviously boxing isn't

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Speaker 2: making sport. And like I was on a diet for

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Speaker 2: pretty much all of this year, right leading into the Olympics,

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Speaker 2: and I was on the edge of like really struggling

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Speaker 2: to make that way and I made it, felt good,

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Speaker 2: felt competitive. And then to have ten days in Paris

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Speaker 2: where I just got some time with family and a

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Speaker 2: couple of friends that come over. I just got like

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Speaker 2: to eat. It was actually beautiful food France.

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Speaker 1: It's got people food.

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Speaker 2: But like I was still going into macas so I

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Speaker 2: never go there, but like you just want, Like I

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Speaker 2: was just thrashing my body with food. And then after

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Speaker 2: about three days you put on ten teen kilows almost.

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Speaker 2: It's wild how quickly it goes on mostly just fluid,

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Speaker 2: and your body holes on the fluid because it's in survival.

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Speaker 2: And then like to just feel yourself like a bit

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Speaker 2: of a bowling ball. I'm like, oh, I've had enough

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Speaker 2: of this. But three or four days, it's just like

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Speaker 2: demolishing as much food as I can do.

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Speaker 1: You have two sets of clothes.

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Speaker 2: That's so interesting because I always think that when well,

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Speaker 2: boxes always are conscious of this. So when we do,

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Speaker 2: like the sizing for the Olympic uniform, it'd be months

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Speaker 2: in advance, and we are so much bigger than what

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Speaker 2: we're going to be when we fight, And then you

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Speaker 2: got to be conscious of like do I take that

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Speaker 2: into consideration or do I want to wear the little

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Speaker 2: bit closed after I'm going to be bigger. It's like

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Speaker 2: you don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: Can you do two for us guys? Yeah, like we

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Speaker 1: have a budget. It's just such an extraordinary, extraordinary sport.

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Speaker 1: You know, in the last number of years, MMA has

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Speaker 1: shown up as like this is the thing. But I

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Speaker 1: don't care who you are. You're not you don't know

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Speaker 1: your angles for Brazilian jiu jitsu sleeper holds, but you're

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Speaker 1: pretty much born knowing what a fist does. So it

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Speaker 1: seems like such more relatable sport.

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Speaker 2: It's quite interesting. Obviously we don't want to highlight this

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Speaker 2: sort of stuff, but if you ever see two bucks

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Speaker 2: fighting at the pub, it's like they always start in

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Speaker 2: the boxing sense. I don't know if it's an animal

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Speaker 2: instinct becomes out, or it's because they've watched too much boxing.

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Speaker 2: It's been around for so long, and then eventually it

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Speaker 2: gets split up. All the end up on the ground wrestling.

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Speaker 2: But it always seems to starth like that, and it's

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Speaker 2: like you watch I always think that if you really

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Speaker 2: pay attention to how humans operate, it's like you can

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Speaker 2: pick an animal that they're doing very similar things. That's

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Speaker 2: like you walk through a train station, you see how

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Speaker 2: we walk like ants behind each other. You watch certain

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Speaker 2: things and you look at kangaroos. Look what they do

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Speaker 2: back on the back tail. They're throwing hands, they they fights,

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Speaker 2: and it's beautiful to watch. I just rock on the

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Speaker 2: head bag. Oh my god, it's intense, right, it's intense.

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Speaker 2: But I think we always forget that we disconnect ourselves

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Speaker 2: from the animal kingdom. But I always think that that's

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Speaker 2: all we are at the end of the day, is animals.

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Speaker 2: And that's why I really like boxing, because it enabled

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Speaker 2: me to control that animal instinct a lot better.

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Speaker 3: And this is something I'm quite fascinated by.

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Speaker 1: With a youngest he's just turned five, and we go

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Speaker 1: to jiu jitsu on a Saturday morning, and it's it's

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Speaker 1: something I want to do for him because I never

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Speaker 1: learned what to do.

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Speaker 3: When the lion.

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Speaker 1: Showed up, all right, I was about fourteen or so.

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Speaker 1: Is the only time I've ever hit anybody. This guy

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Speaker 1: was boiling me in the touch up line. I smashed

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Speaker 1: him so hard to split my knuckles, and then I

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Speaker 1: ran and started crying because A I was hurt so

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Speaker 1: much to hurt somebody else, and B I was so

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Speaker 1: scared that this thing happened without me even thinking about it.

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Speaker 1: And I was kind of lucky that it happened. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't as big as I am now, but I wasn't

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Speaker 1: far off. At fourteen, I was pretty big. A young

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Speaker 1: man has this capacity for lethal violence at the age

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Speaker 1: of thirteen fourteen, and if they're not taught how to

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Speaker 1: control that. The choice made when you've got no literally

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Speaker 1: no impulse control because there's not in your brain in

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Speaker 1: this stage, can end your life, ruined your life.

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Speaker 2: I always think that like it's we of course we

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Speaker 2: are disconnected. As I just mentioned from the Animal Kingdom.

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Speaker 2: It's like what you just said. You watch a situation

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Speaker 2: happen where it's like a mum who's a grown adult

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Speaker 2: is in between a dangerous situation and her kid. You

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Speaker 2: watch that prime or mother nature come out and it

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Speaker 2: is beautiful to watch, but she will move mountains to

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Speaker 2: get in that way or it's a beautiful thing. And

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Speaker 2: it's like I think combat sport, not just boxing, but

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Speaker 2: combat sport does that for people, right doesn't matter of

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Speaker 2: your boy, it doesn't matter. Or it gives you a

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Speaker 2: space where you can find out what your body is

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Speaker 2: capable of what your body Isn't you learn a bit

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Speaker 2: of self confidence, but of self love because you know,

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Speaker 2: I know right now I I'm not flexing, but I

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Speaker 2: know right now that we're living in a beautiful country.

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Speaker 2: It's very unlikely. But if someone coming right now and

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Speaker 2: was like dangerous or deadly, I would feel like I

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Speaker 2: would run straight at it, like I will put myself

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Speaker 2: in the firing line and go at it. And I

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Speaker 2: have noticed this with say someone like my dad, right

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Speaker 2: this happens inevitably, like he's fifty five, fifty six, he's

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Speaker 2: coming towards he's getting towards past middle age now and

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Speaker 2: it's like I feel like he doesn't feel like he

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Speaker 2: can protect his feeling anymore. And then in that he's

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Speaker 2: getting more pessimistic. He can like because he body isn't capable.

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Speaker 2: He's he's lived a hard life and his body is

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Speaker 2: incapable of Like if in true to come, he would

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Speaker 2: be very fearful, right, And I notice his mindset changed.

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Speaker 2: I think it's really important for humans to be able

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Speaker 2: to protect themselves. It's in us, right, And I feel

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Speaker 2: way more secure because I know I can. I know

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Speaker 2: I can right now, and I think it's really important

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Speaker 2: for humans to feel that.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes people get into boxing in different ways.

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Speaker 3: How did you get into it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I started boxing at the age of nine,

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Speaker 2: and I'm the youngest of three boys. And I felt

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Speaker 2: really soft and different to them. They were quite masculine,

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Speaker 2: they were quite fearless. They I don't know. They seemed

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Speaker 2: to run a dangerous situations, no worries right where I

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Speaker 2: had all this like fear. I felt my head noise

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Speaker 2: and I've sort of let my head noise get the

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Speaker 2: better of me a lot. And I didn't run at

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Speaker 2: things head on. And what do you see on movies

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Speaker 2: growing up? You see these action figures Clint Eastwood, Rambo,

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Speaker 2: like these these big strong characters. Right, that's what man

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Speaker 2: is that's what being a man is, and I just

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Speaker 2: I feel like my man who constantly was questioned by

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Speaker 2: myself and probably by if I had that belief, I

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Speaker 2: collected the evidence that that was true, and then at

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Speaker 2: the age of nine, I decided to do something different.

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Speaker 2: I played basketball quite competitively and a few other sports,

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Speaker 2: but I told my mom, She's like, you want to

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Speaker 2: start boxing? Like, like you've seen her eyes, Like the

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Speaker 2: softest one of the family. What do you want to

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Speaker 2: start boxing for? And then Yeah, I walked into a

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Speaker 2: boxing gym and fell in love with the sport almost instantly. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Wow, you keep using the words soft. What are you

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Speaker 3: talking about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting because I was. I look back in

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Speaker 2: my life and I probably was in the sense of

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Speaker 2: like I would probably tear up a lot more. I would,

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Speaker 2: as I said, wasn't fearless. I wasn't this. But it's

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Speaker 2: so interesting that I think that what I've realized over

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Speaker 2: the last couple of years is like, masculinity comes in

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Speaker 2: many forms, and I have compared myself to this Rambo

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Speaker 2: type character, right right, this real strong. But it's like

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Speaker 2: I also know that I'm strong in my own way,

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Speaker 2: and I loved that, right, and I'm not soft. I

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Speaker 2: know that I'm hard, I know that I'm stoic, and

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Speaker 2: I know that I can get through anything. But I

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Speaker 2: didn't feel that at the age of seven, eight nine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, look at it. I understand that.

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Speaker 1: I asked thank you for explaining that, because I definitely

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Speaker 1: understand that you can't be what you can't see. And

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Speaker 1: there were so many men in the community. Men would

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Speaker 1: bring people together and they would lead, and there was

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Speaker 1: a benevolence and you needed to have an empathy to

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Speaker 1: understand what's going on with this person here.

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Speaker 3: All right.

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Speaker 1: You might call that soft because you're feeling a bit teary,

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Speaker 1: but if you're feeling another person's pain, it doesn't make

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Speaker 1: you weak. It makes you understand what's going on. I

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Speaker 1: am now a protector. If I'm choosing to put resources

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Speaker 1: or my body or whatever towards protecting this person, that

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Speaker 1: puts me in a position of power, right, But I

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Speaker 1: never really it was never really in the zeitglast essentially

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Speaker 1: that version of masculinity. It was sports dudes. It was

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Speaker 1: you know, VHS's with blokes or DVDs and you're okay,

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Speaker 1: floats shooting up stuff, break it up with girlfriends because

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Speaker 1: they couldn't get a hug.

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Speaker 2: It's so interesting. So I've been thinking about this is

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Speaker 2: my own analogy, and I haven't told anyone this before.

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Speaker 2: Emphasizes my partner, but I so I believe masculinity, and

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Speaker 2: people think they hear masculine, they instantly think man. Of course,

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Speaker 2: masculinity comes in many forms. I know a lot of

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Speaker 2: women who have really strong masculine tree, and they're strong, powerful.

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Speaker 2: My mum is one of them. She's a really powerful right.

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Speaker 2: But I think masculinity is the stabilizing trunk in a tree.

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Speaker 2: It's the one where all the wind pushes it, but

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Speaker 2: they stand there strong. They do the things underneath the surface,

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Speaker 2: like the acts of service they provide, they protect, they

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Speaker 2: get the things. The feminine energy is the leaves, the beauty,

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Speaker 2: the flow, and we see that. We look at the

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Speaker 2: leaves and we love the leaves. They look so good,

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Speaker 2: but they need both in order to be there right.

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Speaker 2: And the log of a tree cries, it bleeds when

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Speaker 2: it needs to write. And I think that I think

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Speaker 2: that masculinity, whether that be a man, whether that be

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Speaker 2: a woman, is that stabilizing trunk who does a lot

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Speaker 2: behind the surface. Underneath the ground that we don't see.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't you know.

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Speaker 1: I love that, man, I absolutely love that, and it

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Speaker 1: provides shelter, provides shade. You give your life, but you

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Speaker 1: build a house out of it.

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Speaker 2: It's a beautiful thing, right. I think we both each other.

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Speaker 2: I think right now the world is in a really

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Speaker 2: strange place. We've almost over complicated things. But I love

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Speaker 2: challenging ideas. But I also think that humans needag other

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Speaker 2: more than anything right now, and genders need each other

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Speaker 2: more than anything right now. And it's like, I think

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Speaker 2: we both need to look out for each other. And

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Speaker 2: most people are heterosexual like in this society, and it's

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Speaker 2: like we need each other more than anything. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: just part of it, right. I love my female count advice.

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Speaker 2: I love them like they're so beautiful. I've always connected

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Speaker 2: better with females because I feel like I've got that

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Speaker 2: side to me. But I also know a lot of

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Speaker 2: men aren't really like that. They wouldn't open up like

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Speaker 2: I would. And I get that and I respect that too.

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Speaker 1: Just a moment away from Harry to say that if

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Speaker 1: this show is bringing you value at all, please do

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Speaker 1: tell a friends, share this episode with someone or for

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Speaker 1: the article on the newsletter about this episode with someone

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Speaker 1: who you think would appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: Your final link in the show notes be right back.

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Speaker 1: If you were presenting as a kid, like you would

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Speaker 1: describing what was school like. They were really formative years.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting because I felt like I was

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Speaker 2: quite soft compared to my brothers. But I entered school

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Speaker 2: at the same prim school my brothers went to, and

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Speaker 2: then the same high school my brothers went to, and

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Speaker 2: they were real rough around the ages. They were like

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Speaker 2: class clowns, wrap bags, doing like they did, heaps of

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Speaker 2: naughty stuff, and always getting kicked out of class. I'm

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Speaker 2: pretty sure my brother held the record for being suspended

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Speaker 2: the most times, and brothers were like wild, right, but

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Speaker 2: just it was. It was wild. But I entered school

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Speaker 2: and I instantly felt I'm a gas side. I felt

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Speaker 2: like I had to play this role being a gas side, right,

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Speaker 2: So I started playing what they were doing. I started

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Speaker 2: acting like them, and I felt like this most of

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Speaker 2: my life until about the age of fifteen sixteen, where

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Speaker 2: I was like, I was like quite tense, but I

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Speaker 2: was just being them. It wasn't being myself. And then

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Speaker 2: I was lucky that at the age of sixteen, some

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Speaker 2: youth organization come to my school and gave me an

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Speaker 2: opportunity on that day, but then also the years to

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Speaker 2: come after that where I could just delve into myself

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Speaker 2: and what happened?

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Speaker 3: What was that?

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Speaker 2: So the refoundation you may have heard of, Jimmy Sins

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Speaker 2: Paul Curry, they started this foundation years ago and they

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Speaker 2: did a male workshop and a female workshop, but they

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Speaker 2: just did a male workshop obviously for myself and for

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Speaker 2: all my mates in the year level. On that day,

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Speaker 2: the thing they challenged most was masculinity. There's so many

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Speaker 2: beautiful traits in masculinity right and manhood, but there is

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Speaker 2: a lot of things that we need to look at

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Speaker 2: and challenge and question. And I guess the video they

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Speaker 2: showed I never forget it. It was just like all things

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Speaker 2: that men men do right in our society. It's like fights,

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Speaker 2: jumping off at the time, I was like jumping off

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Speaker 2: the roof onto tables with heaps of bottles, winning sports

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Speaker 2: things like. There were some positive things of some negative things,

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Speaker 2: but it's like what does it mean to be a

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Speaker 2: man in our society? And it was a really interesting topic.

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Speaker 2: And I think that day was a day where I

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Speaker 2: could actually delve into myself and ask myself more questions

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Speaker 2: about who I am. And as I said, it wasn't

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Speaker 2: just that day. I eventually become a crew member and

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Speaker 2: learned a lot becoming a crew member, and then went

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Speaker 2: out to school with myself and run run workshops.

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Speaker 1: What is it like, what's it like to, you know,

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Speaker 1: run a workshop. I'm assuming by this point you're like

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Speaker 1: you're in your twenties or something like, if finish school,

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Speaker 1: what's it like to run a workshop? And see, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, fourteen fifteen, sixteen year old boy and seeing

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Speaker 1: that want to go all right.

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Speaker 2: There's always someone in the room that holds a lot

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Speaker 2: of power, and it's often that rap bag kid who

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Speaker 2: can say at the age of fifteen sixty and they

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Speaker 2: can sort of pick on people, and they're tough, they're strong,

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Speaker 2: they're usually quite big, and they're the ones that like

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Speaker 2: it's so interesting because they're the ones who I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: say they have the biggest story, but they have a

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Speaker 2: rich story as well. And then there's like a hook

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Speaker 2: and there's a moment where you check a few hooks

433
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 2: out and they it's like that that Carter adventure, they

434
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 2: get the opportunity to go on the hero's journey, and

435
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 2: if they take that hook, there's a lot of resistance.

436
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 2: But often if you get them early in the day,

437
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: it gives everyone else the permission to be vulnerable.

438
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 1: Such as, right, what kind of hook you're talking?

439
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 2: So you ask them a question right, and it'll be

440
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 2: more real and now often so in a situation, you'd

441
00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,920
Speaker 2: ask them a personal question like what's home like like

442
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 2: for you? And often it's a males, they would take

443
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 2: the piss At that age, they take the piss and

444
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: make a joke. All their mates are laugh and think

445
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 2: how good is this? And you ask a couple of

446
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 2: other follow up questions right, you pay more attention, and

447
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 2: then eventually they will get slower to the service. Doesn't

448
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 2: always happen, but I would say eight times out a

449
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 2: tenant does, and they give They take that chance right

450
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,880
Speaker 2: because no one they have most likely felt in their life,

451
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 2: no one has listened to them, no one has cared

452
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 2: about them. Once you start hearing their home situation, you

453
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 2: start realizing they've got a story and they need someone

454
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 2: to be there for them, to care for them, to

455
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 2: listen to them, to actually validate them, and then in

456
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 2: that moment, all the other people in the class or

457
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 2: the year level looking at them like, whoa. We never

458
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 2: realized this because kids, we don't as young people, we

459
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 2: don't realize that, right, there's people who are bullying and

460
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 2: picking on other people. They've also got a hectic story, right,

461
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 2: they probably had to look after their parents or look

462
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,879
Speaker 2: after their brothers who are injecting drugs or doing this,

463
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 2: doing that, Like it's a wild story for something people

464
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 2: in our societ worldwide. And I just I love those

465
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 2: moments because they take and it doesn't always happen, but

466
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 2: they take the chance and they step to it, and

467
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 2: they're often great leaders when they do. Oh man, I've

468
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:11,959
Speaker 2: got technles.

469
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just thinking about you know, I've had There's

470
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: a point as we go up where we start looking

471
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 1: for someone who's a father rish kind of figure, but

472
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: not our dad. Usually it's someone around their age, but

473
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: it could be someone younger in a mentor space. And

474
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 1: you know, it's a classic. You know, your own father

475
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: will say, buddy, you're going to study otherwise you won't

476
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 1: even get into day.

477
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 3: What the fuck?

478
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 1: And but then that same person, similar age maybe but younger,

479
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 1: says Hey, has go man, have you heard about that

480
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: cirt course you're like, yeah, yeah, I should really do

481
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,640
Speaker 1: hard work. You know, if it's not the dad telling you,

482
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: they'll listen, right, And it's such an important point in

483
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: a young man's life to have that guy, have that

484
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: guy around, and you know, previously the way we evolved,

485
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 1: that guy would always be there. Because we're a smaller

486
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 1: community now, and that guy sometimes someone on their phone

487
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: selling him a fucking PDF for some weird pill or

488
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: some shit. You know.

489
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 2: I always think that, like, obviously, right now, with the

490
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: world we're living in, it's like, right now teenage boys

491
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 2: are going to the stage of that Andrew Take guy.

492
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 2: It's like they're turning towards someone like that. It's like,

493
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 2: if that isn't a clear sign that they're being misunderstood

494
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 2: right now, they're turning to someone like that. It's like

495
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 2: societies should probably pay attention to that a bit more, Yeah,

496
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 2: a bit more closely.

497
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 1: It's difficult sometimes to talk about because I don't want

498
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: to self edit, right, but I think we actually have

499
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 1: to have a bit of a think about just blindly

500
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: making young men wrong without any investigator. H they're idiots,

501
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 1: have no idea how to drive this fucking tractor they're in.

502
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 1: But there's suddenly this big, powerful machine and that can

503
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 1: do and say stuff, and they've got no idea what

504
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: to do with it. And if there's no one around

505
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 1: to help them, how could they possibly know.

506
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 2: I wrote a book personally and it's just been released,

507
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 2: and I talk about don't call it toxic masculinity, saying

508
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 2: that's the term at the start, I get it and

509
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 2: actually come from a good place and started a while ago.

510
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: Come from a good place because there is one hundred

511
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 2: cent as I just mentioned, there's things in the masculine

512
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 2: trait that we need to look at and question. And

513
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,400
Speaker 2: manhood is a really interesting thing. But I I think

514
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 2: if you're continuously telling someone who's eleven, twelve thirteen, they've

515
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 2: got phone, they're constantly saying men are toxic, men of this,

516
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 2: man of that, it's like inevitably, surely they're thinking these

517
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 2: things inside myself. They don't fully know themselves yet the

518
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: thing inside myself, I'm toxic if I show this anger, aggression,

519
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,959
Speaker 2: this competitive nature. It's like if I show that I'm toxic,

520
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: so then I suppress it and then online when no

521
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 2: one's looking out look at someone like Andrew D's like, yeah,

522
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 2: he's speaking to me, he's validating me. Society's not. It's

523
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 2: like it's like it's obviously so clear to see, Like

524
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 2: how do we not realize this? It's a society, you know.

525
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 2: I just think I don't know. I don't think. I

526
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 2: don't want to sit here and say that young boys

527
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 2: have it harder than young girls because they've got their

528
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: own struggles, right, Young young people have their own struggles like.

529
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 3: You can have you can have two, like it can

530
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 3: both can be hard.

531
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 2: I told just realities, of course. Yeah, yeah, it's it's

532
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 2: an interesting thing. I just think we it's a really

533
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 2: weird reality. And I know every generation probably said this.

534
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 2: I know, like back when I was younger, that the

535
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 2: generation we're like, oh jeez, a younger generation this or that.

536
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 2: Like I think it is inevitable that we do that

537
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 2: because it is a different reality. But I just do

538
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 2: believe right now, young people waking up have a phone

539
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: at eleven years old, this in primary school, and they

540
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 2: look and they see what's going on in the Middle East,

541
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 2: they see what's going on in the USA.

542
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 3: It's like, what the hell.

543
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,479
Speaker 2: They're eleven, They're eleven years old. I don't know. I

544
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 2: just I have generally have empathy for them. I genuine

545
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 2: have care.

546
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it changes the way your brains are wirde

547
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: and it changes your threat response. So it changes your empathy,

548
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: changes your ability. If you've become desensitized, it's almost it

549
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: gets weird.

550
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 3: It gets pretty pathological, your inability.

551
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: To feel empathy, like we get born.

552
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 3: It's funny we're talking about boxing, but.

553
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 1: If I watch boxing match, I know what it's like

554
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 1: to get here in the head right, and you see

555
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: people can take a big one.

556
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh, oh my god.

557
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 3: You know.

558
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: But if you get so desensitized you want to you know,

559
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 1: even if I talk about kicking you in the nuts,

560
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 1: you just flenched. Yeah, anyone listening that's got nuts has

561
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: just done that. But could you imagine geting to a

562
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: point where you're so desensitized to the pain of another

563
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: that just passes by you, like watching a seagull fly

564
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 1: by whatever, pigeon, something that doesn't matter to you. Like,

565
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 1: that's not okay, that's that's the deconstruction of our ability

566
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 1: as humans to interact. You don't like the word toxic.

567
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: I don't like it either. How do you refer to

568
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 1: how do you talk about musculinity that is perhaps not

569
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: conducive to help.

570
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, immature and mature masculinity.

571
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 3: Oh, talk to me about that.

572
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I would say like immature masculinity was that

573
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 2: once to prove? Was that beat my chest? You to

574
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 2: look how strong I am? Look at my arm I

575
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 2: look at look at me? The warrior, right, the one

576
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 2: who runs in and I'm so tough. Yeah, that's immature masculinity.

577
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: I think secure masculinity is I don't know, the one

578
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 2: working behind the scenes, you mean, providing for the family. Yeah,

579
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 2: the one who's stable, secure, the one that everyone turns

580
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 2: to when I mean there's a storm and everything's been

581
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 2: knocked down. Yeah. Yeah, that's mature masculinity.

582
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: Mature masculinity and immature masculinity.

583
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 3: That's uh.

584
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: I like that better than I was previously referring and

585
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 1: talking about it as healthy and unhealthy, very much the same. Yeah,

586
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 1: but I like the idea, the idea of it's a

587
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: little more aspirational to put immature and mature.

588
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:37,679
Speaker 3: I really like that.

589
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: I did seal it. I would just love to say

590
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 2: that it's my but it's not. I got a podcast.

591
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 2: I can't remember what.

592
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.

593
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,159
Speaker 3: This is how ideas are. This is what happens with

594
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,360
Speaker 3: ideas matter, Like ideas.

595
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 1: Someone invented a limerick and now there's a billion of them,

596
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: like someone a foundand years ago dead going, that's my

597
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 1: fucking line and that's my rhymings. Game doesn't matter, you know.

598
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: Once the idea is, it's a toothpaste out of the tube.

599
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 3: It's out, man. But I like the idea of immature.

600
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 1: Masculinity and mature masculinity because nobody wants to be a

601
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: little boy making childish decisions or treating people like that.

602
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: We obviously what it's like to be a toddlers pretty

603
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: hard though, when those kind of choices get made by

604
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,719
Speaker 1: twenty three ron blokes with neck hats and you know,

605
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 1: they got a friend with a bum bag down the

606
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,119
Speaker 1: gym and they are just massive. Next thing, you know,

607
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: they make a decision in the blink of an eye

608
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 1: that changes everyone around them.

609
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: I must have been and I'm such a flawed human

610
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 2: and I always have coexistent realities inside myself. I actually

611
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 2: I I've got some personality, but I'm like, I've just

612
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 2: got so many facets to myself and I I always

613
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 2: know that inside of me, there's like that judgment. There's

614
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 2: like that, oh, look at them, like there's that critique, right,

615
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: But then there's also this this one to like I

616
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 2: don't have compassion and empathy. And I try and sit

617
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 2: there as much as I can, and I don't always

618
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 2: live up to them. But it's like I always think,

619
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 2: I see those people. I grew up in an area

620
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 2: where there's a lot of bikeis and stuff like that.

621
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, they're grown men acting like little boys. I'm like,

622
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 2: what is what is going on right now? That's just

623
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: like what what do they need? Like what do they need?

624
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 2: Do they need? Is that what they're looking for? Connection?

625
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,719
Speaker 2: And they're looking for certain things like what do they

626
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: actually need from society? I guess not to be like

627
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 2: that or are they happy? Like I don't know, Like

628
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 2: I don't know what's right. I don't know if it's

629
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 2: me being arrogant pushing my way of my world onto

630
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 2: them like they should live like other people. It's like,

631
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,719
Speaker 2: am I right to say that? I don't know.

632
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: Walking down the street as a man in my you know,

633
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: late teens or early twenties, I feared that Brisbane and

634
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: so you know, he saw violence on the street, and

635
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: I see guys possibly they might have seen John Wick

636
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 1: and thinking this is how it's going to go, you know,

637
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: and they wade into something and then about two seconds flat,

638
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: someone who's forty centimeters shorter than them.

639
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 3: It's just, you know, that's it.

640
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: You're You're in rehab for them five months trying to

641
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: swallow again.

642
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wild when it's wild, how quickly that stuff

643
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 2: can happen, right, Yeah, it's a wild thing. And that

644
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 2: just shows like that primitive nature that animals, animalistic instincts.

645
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 2: It's like if you can't control it, it will control you.

646
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: You mentioned before if someone came in here and it

647
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: was a threat, you know, but what is it walking

648
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: through the world knowing that you've got this. I can

649
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: only imagine having that do everything you possibly can to

650
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,479
Speaker 1: never ever ever use it.

651
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's one of those things. Like one of my

652
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 2: one of my good friends in Sydney, we went for

653
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 2: lunch and I was walking through everywhere in I think

654
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 2: it was glib and it was just like there was

655
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 2: some interesting characters walking around and I'm always aware of

656
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: what's going on, and I think it's like it's making

657
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 2: it makes me hyper aware. I feel like I'm I

658
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 2: don't know what it is, but it's like the protective nature, right,

659
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 2: I just want my friend to be safe. And of

660
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 2: course nothing's happened to us, and most of the time

661
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 2: nothing does. We live in a great society. But yeah,

662
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 2: it's a weird thing, and I yeah, definitely. There was

663
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 2: times in my childhood are teenage years where I feel

664
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 2: like I was still very insecure and I had to

665
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: beat my chest, and yeah, I'm just grateful now that

666
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 2: I guess most of the time I don't need to.

667
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I need to. I know that

668
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 2: it push on the shove, watch what I do.

669
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: I've seen guys who I swear with security, guys who

670
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: like x SA s kind of I think I kill

671
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 1: you with the fingernail if they wanted, and they just

672
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: have something.

673
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 3: In their voice.

674
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: You know, they walk up to whoever's being a diet

675
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: and they just do we have a problem. I don't

676
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: think you want us to have a problem.

677
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 3: Think about what you're doing.

678
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: And I just watched these guys turn to water because

679
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: I have the thing in their voice that says I've

680
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 1: done shit in Northern Africa that I can't sleep at

681
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: night because of and they hear it. They hear it

682
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: enough enough, he is it in their voice, and these

683
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: guys just fall at the knees. Sometimes mentioned I trained

684
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 1: a little bit. It was an interesting guy. It was early,

685
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,479
Speaker 1: so early, kind of UFC days. One of the guys

686
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: he lived in Los Angeles. He's his job was to

687
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: teach the jiu jitsu guys how to punch, all right,

688
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: and I want to go train with him. I was

689
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: in him a couple of months. I was still drinking

690
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: at the time. It was useless but far out.

691
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: Man.

692
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 3: The conditioning stuff was just nuts, man. And I remember this.

693
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: Kid that I but eventually got to the point where

694
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 1: I was putting on the head gear and sparring this

695
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: like a fourteen year old.

696
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 2: Right.

697
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: This guy didn't even like, didn't even break a sweat,

698
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 1: and he moved so fast I couldn't see him, and

699
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: I was like, holy fuck me. He occasionally tapped me

700
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: on the head gear and just get the shit out

701
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: of me. Right as you're going into like a big fight,

702
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: I can't. You would know more about what it is

703
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: to face pretty certain pain than anybody. What do you

704
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: want people to know about literally stepping into the ring

705
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: and testing yourself like that.

706
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I'm moving my body the way

707
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to as an animal. Yeah, I think it's

708
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 2: the most pure I can go. I've wrote a poem

709
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 2: if I remember lines, if it was like it's act

710
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 2: as the world begins to feel ever so quiet, as

711
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 2: my mind begins screaming war cries. Never do I feel

712
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 2: so alive, Never do I feel so in my body

713
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 2: man verse man ego versus ego. Grateful to be reminded

714
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 2: all that we are is barbaric animals try to act civilized.

715
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 2: I think it's so true. I don't know. And boxing

716
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 2: is a week in combat sport in general, Like I

717
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 2: think most combat athletes would probably agree, Like, there's times

718
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: that it hurts, but it's like that primal nature comes

719
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,479
Speaker 2: out and it's like you're adrenaline's pumping. You probably get

720
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 2: hurt more on a quirky from AFL than what you

721
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 2: would in in boxing at times, most of the time

722
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 2: night times out of ten, you will get hurt more

723
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 2: from a football game than you were boxing. But of

724
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 2: course it's a beautiful sport because it is that pure

725
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,479
Speaker 2: nature of combat, which I think we've all done to

726
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 2: survive or our ancestors did to survive so.

727
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 1: Many people, and I've certainly done this myself. What happened

728
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: to me the other day at the gym, turn away

729
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: from truly testing ourselves. I really want to do this,

730
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 1: but then if it doesn't work, then I'll know that

731
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 1: I've I'm not good enough to get that job, or

732
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: I'm not good enough to date that person, or I'm

733
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: not a great parent. Because ultimately, when you step through

734
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: those robes, you are it's you against you. You're testing

735
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: yourself and the other person who's trained as hard as you,

736
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 1: they want it just as much as you.

737
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 3: What do you get out of doing that?

738
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: What do you get out of testing yourself willingly walking

739
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: towards that test.

740
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: I think I've turned myself into the man that my

741
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 2: young bought my young younger self didn't think he was.

742
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm quite proud of that. Like I know,

743
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 2: I've been doing this weird challenge that I do one

744
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,359
Speaker 2: challenge of months for the last five and a half years.

745
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,479
Speaker 2: I'm actually kind of been doing my sixty eighth months

746
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 2: in a row now. It's called the Uncomfortable Challenges, and

747
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 2: I've done things like fifty hours no talking, improv class,

748
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 2: warm makeup, full face and makeup for a day. I

749
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 2: begged for money for a couple of hours. I've washed

750
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,719
Speaker 2: windows at lights, Like, I've done a number of things right.

751
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 2: Some are fun, some are hard, some are physical, some

752
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 2: are emotional. But each challenge I've learned something from. And

753
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 2: I think the world we live in right now, the

754
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 2: Western world, it's almost like our ancestors did too well.

755
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 2: That it's like we've got it real good in Australia,

756
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 2: most people. I've got it real good in Australia. And

757
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 2: it's like in that our body is naturally hardwired to

758
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 2: protect itself as much as it can. So if we

759
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 2: can conserve energy and be in a comfortable place, we

760
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 2: can conserve energy for the time that we're going to

761
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 2: be in stress, right, because that's how we're hardwired. And

762
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 2: it's like right now, it's like the comfort is the Netflix,

763
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: the couch, the clothes, the heat up, the warm showers,

764
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: like these are all things we didn't have one hundred

765
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 2: years ago. Right. It's wild to think that not that

766
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 2: long ago we didn't have that. And it's just like

767
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 2: I think there is so much in our society pulling

768
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: us in a way of comfort so that it keeps

769
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: is stuck, It keeps us small. And I think the

770
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 2: more that you can consciously push yourself, whether that be

771
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 2: a hard training session, whether that be having a cold

772
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 2: shower in the morning, whether that be you know your poison,

773
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 2: You pick your poison and make sure you do it

774
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 2: and feel that elation when you achieve it, and feel

775
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 2: how you shed your skin and you get a little

776
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 2: bit bigger. And you continuously do that day after day

777
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 2: after day.

778
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: You watch that transformation, because there's there's our body has

779
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: an an adaptation response to stress.

780
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:31,720
Speaker 3: But I got quite sick.

781
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: A large part of it was turning away from the

782
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: thing that I was terrified of. I want to scroll

783
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: past those stories, and I know, no, man, you got

784
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,280
Speaker 1: to read it. You got to read it, So click

785
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: on it. I read it, I feel all the shit

786
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,359
Speaker 1: in my body, like, Okay, there it is. Take couple

787
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 1: of risks, and then it's not as scary as it

788
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 1: was five minutes ago. But if I scroll past it,

789
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: it's even scarier the next time, you know, and it

790
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 1: gets harder.

791
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 2: That's why I generally have empathy for people that if

792
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 2: they've lived a certain way for so long, it's so

793
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 2: hard to bite the bullet and change that thing. Whatever

794
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:09,879
Speaker 2: you want to change yourself yourself. That's why I think

795
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 2: it's always like start small, start small, cold shower in

796
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 2: the morning, just do it, and even just finish in

797
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 2: a cold you have to start on it. But just

798
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 2: do something right, Just do something that's you could have got,

799
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: like mow the lawns out the front. But just say

800
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 2: you're going to do something that you don't want to

801
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 2: do and do it and then feel that actually sitting

802
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: in it for five seconds ago. I did that, Like

803
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 2: I did that for myself. I chose to do that, Like,

804
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 2: oh what a feeling? What a feeling?

805
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 1: What do you get to take with you from the

806
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 1: rest of your life after your time in Paris because

807
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 1: you didn't get the thing you wanted.

808
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really interesting. I definitely don't think I'm calling

809
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 2: it quits on boxing, but it's it's quite fascinating to

810
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 2: really have. I think when I started the journey of

811
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 2: my Olympic stardom or wanting Olympic stardom, it was from

812
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: potential a negative place I don't fully know, but it

813
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 2: was from a place of like maybe when I get there,

814
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 2: it's like everyone will think that I'm good enough, I'm

815
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 2: worthy enough. Yeah, and I it's so interesting. I went

816
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 2: on a twenty year journey, and through that journey, I

817
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 2: finally realized that I'm good enough. And it's like I'm

818
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 2: I'm in the sense of like. And then in that

819
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't actually care too much about like

820
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 2: achieving a goal. It's like, of course, I think it's

821
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 2: really important to set a massive whatever. My next goal

822
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 2: is set a big, audacious goal that feels unachievable, that

823
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 2: feels out of my grasp whatever. That's like being a

824
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 2: CEO of a company. It's just an example, right. And

825
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,360
Speaker 2: then in the process of that, it might take fifteen years,

826
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 2: but I become a better version of myself. Even if

827
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 2: I don't get to that destination. But I will try

828
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 2: my hardest to get there, and I hope I achieve it.

829
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 2: But if I don't, it doesn't impact who I am

830
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 2: as a person. I know who I am. I'm happy

831
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 2: with who I am. I'm a curious, loving, caring, deeply flawed,

832
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,919
Speaker 2: complex humor and who is always striving to get better.

833
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 2: And I love that about.

834
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: Myself, and I love that you're also somebody that you

835
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: know where's now polish sometimes wears closing up pants, does ballet.

836
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 3: People struggle.

837
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 1: What's the thing I think people struggle with the most

838
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: about the kind of you know, alternate ways that you

839
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 1: show yourself to the public.

840
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 2: I think it's just and I felt this most of

841
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 2: my life. When I was in high school, I felt

842
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 2: I had to play the role that was pushed on

843
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,760
Speaker 2: me by society that was being more like my brothers

844
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 2: play the role of a Garside. And I'm guilty of

845
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 2: this in many environments in my life. So it's I

846
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 2: think the biggest thing is it's just like we've been

847
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 2: told stories upon stories upon stories about how to live

848
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 2: our life from generations and generations before, and no one

849
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 2: really knows. And I don't think we spend too much

850
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 2: time questioning those things. And I heard this story and

851
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 2: I absolutely love it. It's like this this man's story's

852
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 2: wife cooking a roast, and she chopped half the roast

853
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 2: in half and then put it in the oven. He's like,

854
00:39:58,560 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 2: what the hell's she doing that for? So we asked,

855
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 2: so why did you do that? It's like my wife,

856
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 2: my mom did that. So when I was older, and

857
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: then when I was younger storry, and then they went

858
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:08,360
Speaker 2: to the mom. They asked her, why do you do that?

859
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 2: And she's like, Grandma used to do that. And Grandma

860
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 2: is still alive. She's in the retirement village. And they

861
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,879
Speaker 2: went to her and they said, back in my day,

862
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 2: we had to chop the lamb in half to fit

863
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 2: into the oven. And she's like, we live stories upon

864
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 2: stories upon stories, and some of them don't service anymore, right,

865
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 2: But it's like we live in this archaic world of

866
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 2: what does it mean to be a man? It means

867
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 2: to be stoic and strong, and some of them are

868
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,959
Speaker 2: really good traits. There's also some traits and I'm like, oh,

869
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 2: we probably could look at that and maybe evolved that

870
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 2: a little bit more. I'm not sure that's what I

871
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 2: think anyway. I'm just trying to challenge it and question

872
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 2: it and do it with like honor and pride and

873
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 2: come from a pure place. I never try and disrespect anyone.

874
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 2: I'm not right, I'm not wrong. I'm just doing it

875
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 2: how I want.

876
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 1: I couldn't I couldn't agree with you more. It's so

877
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,760
Speaker 1: it's a great way of talking about what's not really

878
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: serving us. What have we been doing without thinking about it.

879
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 3: It's kind of fascinating.

880
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 2: I've just noticed in my life just patterns after patterns

881
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 2: after patterns until you recognize the pattern and then hopefully

882
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 2: if you want to level up, you can level up.

883
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 2: If the pattern serves you, keep running it, right, Yeah,

884
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 2: But that's all I'm just trying to do is try

885
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 2: and recognize the patterns. Try and recognize. But I always do,

886
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 2: and it just it might look different because the same

887
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 2: emotions are coming up again and again and again. I

888
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 2: was just like, it's it's up to me. If it

889
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 2: doesn't serve anymore, then I'll try my best to evolve it.

890
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 2: If it does keep.

891
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 1: Going, mate, whatever direction it is, I don't know. Like

892
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: if you I don't know, if you go up a

893
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: weight class, if you become like you're tall man, you're tall,

894
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: tall than me, I don't know how to hell you're

895
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 1: sixty three and a half keel I was struggling.

896
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 3: You're tall than I am.

897
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: Like, you've got a lot of reach on you, but

898
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 1: you know I'm eighty one. Right, you put some meat

899
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 1: on you, then you change your divisions and go pro

900
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: what happens now?

901
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: You know, I'll probably get for breakfast and see what happens.

902
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's a lot of training that goes

903
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 1: into that. I can't really imagine, Like does a fight

904
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: ring off the hook when you're when you're you to promoters,

905
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 1: just go come on mate in eighteen months from now.

906
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,799
Speaker 2: Of course there's definitely some people pulling out, but it's

907
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 2: I've always lived with this intention like try and move

908
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: purer intentions, and I'll never be a popper in anyone

909
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 2: else's game. I'll always be a master of my own reality. Okay,

910
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 2: Slide Promotions launching.

911
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: Now, let's go be your own promoter, mate. You run

912
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 1: the whole ticket, You're on the whole book.

913
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,359
Speaker 2: You know flow where they did do it. He's one

914
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 2: of the most well off. If that's what you're chasing,

915
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 2: I'm not really chasing that, but yeah, this man a

916
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:29,800
Speaker 2: sports is weird.

917
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 1: You can be a real make some questionable choices in

918
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: your life, but if you kick enough girls, taking off wickets,

919
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 1: do take enough whatever, looks at everyone's like, yeah, but

920
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 1: he did that thing, rima.

921
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 2: I literally had this conversation with someone the other day.

922
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 2: I think I was on radio, and I was saying, like,

923
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: in our society, we we prop up these people, and

924
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 2: I've been that. I felt like when I was the

925
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 2: most successful, I was probably the most evil to the

926
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: people closest to me. I can reflect that for effect

927
00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 2: on that. It's like a weird I don't fully understand

928
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 2: quite young, but our society kind of props up these

929
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 2: CEOs of these successful athletes, these people who show success

930
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 2: in this paper. It's like there's people who work in

931
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 2: like child cans awards, work in long shifts like hearts

932
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 2: so pure, and we don't even that an I legitim

933
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 2: this world is toxic. The Western world is toxic. Doesn't

934
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: have to be, Yeah, it doesn't have to be. There's

935
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:25,439
Speaker 2: so much beauty in it too, because there's so many

936
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:26,520
Speaker 2: parts that are like, oh.

937
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,760
Speaker 3: The thing is the Harry. The beauty doesn't make the news.

938
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't care about it. We are.

939
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 3: We actually have a negativity bias.

940
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,879
Speaker 1: It's what kept our ancestors live. This is why things

941
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,359
Speaker 1: like gratitude practice is really important to almost offset at

942
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 1: negativity bias. It's why Look, the negativity bias has made

943
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,880
Speaker 1: reactive news organizations a lot of money, a lot of

944
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 1: money by playing on our you know what's happening. As

945
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 1: you mentioned with your dad playing on this, you know,

946
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 1: need for fear, and we kind of get into it.

947
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,839
Speaker 1: We kind of get a thrill off though, little heat

948
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 1: that we get and they're telling about it.

949
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 3: And so we want more of it, more of it,

950
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 3: more of it, more of it.

951
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 1: But that's not one point four million Australians, I think. No,

952
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: four million Australians will drive home safely today. You'll see

953
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: one car crash on the years and think, oh it's dangerous.

954
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, chuck the seabot on. Yeah that's true.

955
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:20,919
Speaker 1: So true we should wear a sleep old but yeah,

956
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 1: it's not representative.

957
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

958
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,320
Speaker 1: At that point, we as you mentioned a few times,

959
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 1: like wildly people are people are good. People really just

960
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: generally want to be good.

961
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 2: I've always thought that. I think like more often than not,

962
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 2: and I would say I would argue like ninety nine

963
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 2: percent of the time. It's like humans want very similar things.

964
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 2: They might vote for a different person, they might believe

965
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 2: different things. You might be left wing, they might be

966
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 2: right wing, but it's like they care about their family,

967
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 2: their friends to be well off, happy and healthy. We're

968
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: all the same, It's like, and we critique each other

969
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 2: so much. Yes, you can never fully get along with everyone.

970
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 2: But it's just like, if you really pin it down,

971
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 2: they just care about those things, right, And I.

972
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 1: Care about those things too. Maybe we can sit at

973
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: the table and figure out how we can all have

974
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: enough of what we care about to make us feel

975
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: like things are okay. It's not like if you have it,

976
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 1: I can't have it.

977
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 3: That's not what it works.

978
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 1: It's not like that we're very lucky. Harry is general

979
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 1: unbelievable to speak to you.

980
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 2: Man, it's been absolute pleasure.

981
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 1: And that was Harry Garside. It's not every day that

982
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: you'll hear a boxer look at the world like that.

983
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 1: Not every day you'll hear a boxer recite poetry that

984
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 1: they've written with such depth and wisdom.

985
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 3: My goodness, the man's amazing.

986
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 1: His books called The Good Fight, Get on It.

987
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,399
Speaker 3: It's a superbreed.

988
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: I do worry a lot about the young men in

989
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 1: our community, but I do know that if we support

990
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:51,319
Speaker 1: more leaders like Harry I Reckon, we could all worry

991
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,240
Speaker 1: a whole lot less. Thank you so much for listening.

992
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 1: If you have any questions at all, you find a

993
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,319
Speaker 1: link in the show notes to the newsletter. Just you'll

994
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: see a little button underneath it article and you can

995
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 1: just drop us a note. There'd be great to hear

996
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 1: from you. Here are the credits of the people who

997
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: help me make this show. Read by either an AI

998
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 1: or somebody who's not me.

999
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 2: This episode was brought to you by Andy Maer on

1000
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 2: audio post production, Beck said on video post production to

1001
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 2: Hyder on music.

1002
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 1: Asher's executive function assistant is Monica Chapman. Sign up to

1003
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,280
Speaker 1: the regular newsletter and get every episode ever at oshiginsburg

1004
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