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Speaker 1: Apogae Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to am I a Bad Mum Podcast. I

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Speaker 2: feel like mom's nationwide are all in the thick of

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Speaker 2: it at the moment, and it's that battle of going, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm trying my best, but I'm also human. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I'm also I didn't have a manual. I'm just trying

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Speaker 2: to navigate it from being a human being. I actually

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Speaker 2: saw a counselor last week. Rage and I started a

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Speaker 2: conversation about an argument i'd had with the girls, and

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Speaker 2: I gave her, like their heads up. I said, just

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Speaker 2: to let you know, you're not going to agree with

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Speaker 2: any of what I did, and I don't agree with

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Speaker 2: any of what I did or said because none of

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Speaker 2: it is what i'd be telling someone else to be

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Speaker 2: doing in that situation. She went, I've got no judgment,

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Speaker 2: she said, I can write down what I think you

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Speaker 2: should have done, but at the end of the day,

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Speaker 2: you're a human being, yeah, with a human experience in

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Speaker 2: the moment, So you did what you needed to do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So there you go, everyone, you did what you needed

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Speaker 2: to do. Whatever in the moment, yelling you did this

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Speaker 2: morning or saying things that you regret, it was what

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Speaker 2: you needed to do.

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Speaker 3: I think it's how you resolve it. For me that

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Speaker 3: it's the resolution process. Everyone's going to have anger, Everyone's

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Speaker 3: going to have fights, Everyone's going to have a disagreement.

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Speaker 3: That's natural part of it, including us with children. This

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Speaker 3: is where I'm going with it. I think it's the

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Speaker 3: resolution part. Yeah, still with your child, Like so if

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Speaker 3: your child is old enough, even the ones that still

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Speaker 3: just understand big feelings. So it's like acknowledging and you know, apologizing.

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Speaker 3: It's the resolution part that changes because that also educates

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Speaker 3: our kids to understand that there are going to be

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Speaker 3: hard times. There are going to be times where you're

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Speaker 3: going to disagree with each other. It's how you resolve

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Speaker 3: it that's the important part. And be willing to resolve it.

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's probably if I'm being really honest, that's

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Speaker 3: where I struggle. Struggle big time is to go in

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Speaker 3: and say sorry and explain it in a way that

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Speaker 3: they understand that you're human, that you did explode, But

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Speaker 3: do you understand where I got to and how I

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Speaker 3: got there. For them to be able to understand and

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Speaker 3: see what their actions were a part of it, And

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Speaker 3: it's really interesting to listen sometimes harder said that. You know,

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Speaker 3: I find it hard to just sit and listen to

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Speaker 3: them grill you on how they were feeling about.

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Speaker 1: It about the situation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because Elsa and I that's a constant thing we

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Speaker 3: blow up. But the resolution part is she's so articulate

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Speaker 3: with how she feels.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 3: You also said to your counselor, please don't judge me

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Speaker 3: on this.

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Speaker 1: If you're going to start all that, he's going to

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Speaker 1: judge you the wrong one.

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Speaker 2: I knew she wasn't going to, but I just wanted

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Speaker 2: to give you the heads up. I know this is

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Speaker 2: not the right thing to do, is what I was

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Speaker 2: basically saying.

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Speaker 1: I know, like I'm going to say.

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Speaker 3: It out loud now, and I know how fucking crazy

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Speaker 3: this is going to sound out a loud when I

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Speaker 3: say it, So just don't judge me on okay, just

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Speaker 3: hold space for me.

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Speaker 1: Well, I told you about how crazy I am.

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Speaker 2: But do you know what she said, I should absolutely

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Speaker 2: think you did the right thing. You did what you

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Speaker 2: needed to do in the moment, and that was a

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Speaker 2: human experience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 3: You know what, speaking to another mum over the weekend

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Speaker 3: and I had gone over sort of like the a

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Speaker 3: four piece of paper that.

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Speaker 1: I had left for what my kids were doing.

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Speaker 3: It was full an a four piece of paper nuery

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Speaker 3: Thursday to Sunday, And she went, don't you feel like

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Speaker 3: term three is one of the busiest terms out of

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Speaker 3: the whole year. I just can't keep up, Like I

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Speaker 3: genuinely have no calendar.

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Speaker 1: They have it all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all about them. It's all about them.

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Speaker 3: There's a really old group of men that are playing

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Speaker 3: like futsal, and they're like in their sixties and seventies.

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Speaker 3: On a Sunday morning as I'm sitting on my ass

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Speaker 3: just drinking coffee watching my child.

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Speaker 1: Train for netball, and I was like, I'm just going

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Speaker 1: to go out there. I'm going to reverse them.

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Speaker 3: I can't play any form of soccer or footsool, just

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Speaker 3: for the record, but I was like, look at you

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Speaker 3: lazy sod, get off your ass.

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Speaker 1: Look at the men they're running around. There's seventy do

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: Just going back to the it being all about the kids,

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Speaker 2: is that I was getting ready for work the other

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Speaker 2: day and I didn't have any meetings or anything really

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Speaker 2: important going on, and I went, I'm just going to

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Speaker 2: wear active where today and then I feel to myself,

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Speaker 2: what am I doing after work?

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Speaker 1: Kids?

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Speaker 2: I was like, doesn't really matter if I look good

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Speaker 2: or not. Like I'm literally it's all about them. I

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Speaker 2: can wear whatever, just be comfortable. Am I bad mum

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Speaker 2: for not realizing what I was feeding them?

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Speaker 1: Is this like an ongoing thing? Is this like just

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Speaker 1: for one weekend sort of vibe?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: So this was evening dinner I had made. And we

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Speaker 2: know about this, right, I've talked about it a lot.

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Speaker 2: My kids are vegetarian. They don't eat meat, so I'm

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Speaker 2: often making different dinners for us. And then and the

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Speaker 2: other thing is, and even if your kids aren't vegetarians,

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Speaker 2: we know that kids need carbs and they need, you know,

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Speaker 2: the stuff that we don't necessarily all want to be

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Speaker 2: eating that much of.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when we get to me or any type of

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Speaker 1: carp that's physically possible. But yeah, I get it.

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Speaker 2: But you work out like a machine. So I have

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Speaker 2: to change my eating because I don't do what you

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Speaker 2: do in terms of exercising like a crazy person.

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Speaker 1: It's how I can cope with my mental health.

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Speaker 2: So I did dinner for them, and I didn't actually

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Speaker 2: have that much. I needed to go shopping and I

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Speaker 2: was like, in the freezer, I had noodles for them,

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Speaker 2: and I was going to do like vegetables noodles, kind

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Speaker 2: of like a stir right, and then I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I only had one pack of noodles. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's stretching a little thin. And so I looked in

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Speaker 2: the freezer and I was like, great, guyoser.

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Speaker 1: So I was like perfect.

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Speaker 2: So I cooked the dioser, did the noodles. The sauce

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Speaker 2: was all nice, and then vegetables and I was like,

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Speaker 2: this is a great this is a great dinner.

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Speaker 1: For look at me. Go I pulled this out. I'm

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Speaker 1: nailing it.

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Speaker 2: They had something on that's right. So I was trying

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Speaker 2: to do it quickly as well, because we needed to

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Speaker 2: get to somewhere for their acting thing that they're doing,

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Speaker 2: drama thing, and then I'm quickly trying to do mine.

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Speaker 2: And they're eating and they sat at the kitchen bench

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Speaker 2: and they like, Mum, is there meeting this. I was like,

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Speaker 2: of course they're not meeting it, Like no, why would

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Speaker 2: I do that? And I was like I was offended,

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Speaker 2: and the fact that they even suggested that I might

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Speaker 2: have not been doing what I thought I was doing

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Speaker 2: making them a vegetarian dinner, as I have done.

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Speaker 1: For years and year. It's like your first time you've

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Speaker 1: ever been cooking for them. No, like, I know what

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Speaker 1: I was doing.

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Speaker 2: And then kept saying and then the other one kept

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Speaker 2: saying it, and they were doing that like, oh, it

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Speaker 2: tastes really like it tastes me.

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Speaker 1: I was like, it doesn't taste meaty. No, it's vegetarian.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can't believe I'm going through this.

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Speaker 2: Let us see the packet.

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Speaker 1: Oh and oh my god. It was the end.

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Speaker 2: They were the last ones, the packets in the well.

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Speaker 2: You want me to go through the bin. They're like

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Speaker 2: looking at me. They're both complaining that. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I am going to be so mad if I go

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Speaker 2: through the bin and find the packet and show you

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Speaker 2: it's vegetarian. I'm going through the bin, raache, because I'm

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Speaker 2: determined to prove them that it was absolutely not to

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Speaker 2: carry on eating your fucking dinner that I've made. There's

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Speaker 2: nothing wrong with those vegetarian dioses.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I'm looking through the bin. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's right. It was in cardboard box, so it's where

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Speaker 2: the recycling goes under the sink.

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Speaker 1: So I was like wash my hands, was like fox sake.

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Speaker 1: It was really like putting me out.

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Speaker 2: I'm like looking at the girls like, oh, you're really irritating.

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Speaker 2: I've gone down to the cupboard under the sink where

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Speaker 2: the recycling is. I've looked at the box that says

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Speaker 2: pork cooser, and I have hesitated, So I'm squatting down

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Speaker 2: so they can just like see that I'm squatting down,

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Speaker 2: but they can't see my face, and I'm looking into

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Speaker 2: the cupboard and I'm pretending I'm looking around thinking lie

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Speaker 2: about it, just lie, And then the other part of

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Speaker 2: my brain's going, you can't lie. They're going to see

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Speaker 2: it in a second. You go, I have to show

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Speaker 2: them it clearly says pork and chive. So then I

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Speaker 2: have I'm like, look, rip the band aid off, do

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Speaker 2: this quickly.

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Speaker 1: Just put your hand over pork and chibe.

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Speaker 2: And then I have just done it so quickly, Rach,

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Speaker 2: I just went, oh yeah, pork and chive. Sorry, like

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Speaker 2: reaching they've eaten too each I've gone straight into like

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Speaker 2: damage control. Fuck, then now they're not going to want

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Speaker 2: to eat the rest of the dinner. I was like,

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Speaker 2: just do the two left, give them to me, and

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Speaker 2: you can eat the rest of the.

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Speaker 1: I was like, the rest of it was ve though,

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Speaker 1: wasn't it. Yeah?

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Speaker 2: But then they're like, what, but what's it touched? Where's

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Speaker 2: their been meat? We feel sick now? Was all of that,

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Speaker 2: and then there was a part of me in my

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Speaker 2: brain that then went, did you cook them long enough

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Speaker 2: for pork? Because I just assumed they're vegetable rate. So

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, yeah, that'll do. I'm sure they're warm enough.

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Speaker 3: I think they would have turned it on for you,

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Speaker 3: whether it was cooked for ten minutes or twenty five minutes,

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Speaker 3: they would have turned it on for you.

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Speaker 1: Just absolutely grilled you over it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah they did. And then they were like they can't

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Speaker 2: believe how I glazed over it so calmly, oh yeah pork,

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Speaker 2: and sorry about and then they like kept looking at me.

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Speaker 1: Mom.

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, sorry, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: You're not trying to like. I get that you don't

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Speaker 1: like me. You're not allergic, so we don't need an

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Speaker 1: epipenan for this situation. You're going to be okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be fine.

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Speaker 2: My god, bit of pork, I said, how did you

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Speaker 2: feel a bit of protein pork on your fork. Then

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Speaker 2: the next night they went Mum, what's for dinner.

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Speaker 1: I went porkork,