1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,521 Speaker 1: Apogae, production, life stuff, life, parenting. 2 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,441 Speaker 2: We're doing life together and we're just going to tell 3 00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:17,161 Speaker 2: you all about it. 4 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:22,041 Speaker 1: I hate the word perimenopause. I can't We're not in menopause. Like, 5 00:00:22,081 --> 00:00:23,041 Speaker 1: it's making me angry. 6 00:00:23,761 --> 00:00:28,041 Speaker 3: What Welcome back. 7 00:00:27,921 --> 00:00:31,921 Speaker 1: To another episode of Who Even Are? We just want 8 00:00:31,961 --> 00:00:34,041 Speaker 1: to take a moment as well, actually, because last week 9 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,521 Speaker 1: we released an episode on grief and we had some 10 00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:41,721 Speaker 1: really nice feedback around it. A comment in particular that 11 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,881 Speaker 1: we got was just listen to you guys for years. 12 00:00:45,881 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: Today it was the first time your potty made me 13 00:00:49,281 --> 00:00:52,801 Speaker 1: cry because I resonated with what you were talking about. 14 00:00:53,081 --> 00:00:55,961 Speaker 1: Grief looks so different for everyone, but I'm just trying 15 00:00:55,961 --> 00:00:59,081 Speaker 1: to sit with what you said. It's because we've loved 16 00:00:59,121 --> 00:01:01,841 Speaker 1: so hard. Yeah, so that's something that you brought up 17 00:01:01,881 --> 00:01:03,601 Speaker 1: in that particular episode. 18 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:07,241 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean nice like moments like that and 19 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:12,041 Speaker 2: having like such an amazing community, you know, that ability 20 00:01:12,081 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 2: to be able to connect in with each other is 21 00:01:14,321 --> 00:01:17,681 Speaker 2: it's so important. And when you hear that something lands 22 00:01:17,761 --> 00:01:20,561 Speaker 2: for someone else, I think it's just I don't know, 23 00:01:20,721 --> 00:01:24,041 Speaker 2: makes this whole podcast worth it. Just that one person, 24 00:01:24,681 --> 00:01:28,041 Speaker 2: you know, that one piece of feedback to say Hey, 25 00:01:28,081 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 2: that helped, and you just go, oh, you know, like 26 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,401 Speaker 2: I say it to my girls all the time, if 27 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:37,281 Speaker 2: you help one person, just one person, in this like 28 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,041 Speaker 2: entire world, you've done your job, because when you think 29 00:01:40,081 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 2: about this whole scheme of things in and how many 30 00:01:42,721 --> 00:01:45,961 Speaker 2: people in this world, helping one person means a hell 31 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:46,321 Speaker 2: of a lot. 32 00:01:46,521 --> 00:01:50,601 Speaker 1: And sometimes it's scary being that vulnerable as well. I 33 00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: feel like I can talk about anything on the podcast, 34 00:01:54,841 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: but then when I see it in a social video. 35 00:01:57,841 --> 00:02:01,881 Speaker 1: If anyone seen the video that we posted on our 36 00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:04,801 Speaker 1: personal pages but also on who even are we on 37 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:08,961 Speaker 1: Facebook and Instagram? I couldn't even watch that video rag. 38 00:02:09,241 --> 00:02:12,681 Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, I can't see myself talking 39 00:02:12,761 --> 00:02:17,761 Speaker 1: like that. So I don't know about having MS, and 40 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:23,161 Speaker 1: it's almost like I'm still in that place where I 41 00:02:23,201 --> 00:02:24,641 Speaker 1: feel like it makes me look weak. 42 00:02:25,641 --> 00:02:31,481 Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, I used to, like, obviously, we've talked 43 00:02:31,481 --> 00:02:36,561 Speaker 2: about it a lot around my postnatal depression, and I 44 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:42,001 Speaker 2: would view my own no one else again, this is 45 00:02:42,081 --> 00:02:47,161 Speaker 2: like hand on heart, my own postnatal depression. 46 00:02:47,281 --> 00:02:48,641 Speaker 3: I saw it as a weakness in me. 47 00:02:49,721 --> 00:02:52,281 Speaker 2: Then therefore, if I gave it light, or if I 48 00:02:52,321 --> 00:02:54,321 Speaker 2: looked at it, or if I talked about it or 49 00:02:54,361 --> 00:02:57,481 Speaker 2: if it would be a sign of weakness. So I 50 00:02:57,561 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 2: completely understand that feeling. But to say that, I mean, 51 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,441 Speaker 2: on the other side of it, there's got so much 52 00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:08,841 Speaker 2: more attack it. There's all other stuff that goes with it. 53 00:03:08,881 --> 00:03:10,681 Speaker 2: But I have done that much work around it, So 54 00:03:10,761 --> 00:03:15,321 Speaker 2: I completely understand what you're saying in that sense. I 55 00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:19,201 Speaker 2: just think that there's definitely no signs of weakness in 56 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,481 Speaker 2: you by sharing that with other people, because like, even 57 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,601 Speaker 2: in that space of your MS, Katie, it is super 58 00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:31,561 Speaker 2: important that people also understand your story because you're really 59 00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:34,761 Speaker 2: great at asking me all the questions, and you're really 60 00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:38,481 Speaker 2: great at like getting there when we talk about things. 61 00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:40,641 Speaker 2: But at the same time, you even said it yourself 62 00:03:40,641 --> 00:03:43,201 Speaker 2: to me. You said, I don't like talking about myself, 63 00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:46,481 Speaker 2: and I get that, But you've come from a background 64 00:03:46,481 --> 00:03:47,161 Speaker 2: of like radio. 65 00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:49,881 Speaker 3: You just ask all the big hitting questions. 66 00:03:49,921 --> 00:03:52,601 Speaker 2: Right, And it's nice to see you in the hot seat, 67 00:03:52,641 --> 00:03:55,801 Speaker 2: and it's nice to see you sharing because it's important. 68 00:03:56,161 --> 00:03:58,841 Speaker 3: Your story is just as important as everyone else is. 69 00:03:59,521 --> 00:04:01,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a funny one, isn't it, Because I always 70 00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:04,121 Speaker 1: feel like, oh, yeah, I can talk about everything, and 71 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:08,241 Speaker 1: then I'm like, ah, shit, nah, I don't feel comfortable. Now. 72 00:04:10,361 --> 00:04:14,121 Speaker 1: This episode is an interesting one. This episode we're going 73 00:04:14,201 --> 00:04:15,761 Speaker 1: to be talking about alcohol. 74 00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,601 Speaker 3: This is a topic that's come up. 75 00:04:17,641 --> 00:04:19,721 Speaker 2: And like I think, I said to you, I get 76 00:04:19,761 --> 00:04:22,681 Speaker 2: to this time of year, this whole like New Year, 77 00:04:22,761 --> 00:04:28,361 Speaker 2: knew me dry, January dry, February dry, this and you're like, what, 78 00:04:29,161 --> 00:04:34,801 Speaker 2: people really require big restrictions on themselves and heavy pressure 79 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 2: to have to get over the hurdle of not having 80 00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:41,001 Speaker 2: a drink at night. Yeah, And this is where it 81 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,921 Speaker 2: led us into a conversation which we then thought, well, 82 00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:45,481 Speaker 2: let's just share it with everyone. 83 00:04:45,961 --> 00:04:46,321 Speaker 3: Yeah. 84 00:04:46,361 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: And the reason why I wanted to talk about it 85 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: as well is because I feel like the more I 86 00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:59,001 Speaker 1: talk to women of our age about alcohol, the more 87 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:05,081 Speaker 1: I realize that actually there's quite a big shame around it, 88 00:05:05,401 --> 00:05:10,041 Speaker 1: and it's also quite common. I feel like, yeah, for 89 00:05:10,401 --> 00:05:15,881 Speaker 1: women of our age to have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. 90 00:05:16,401 --> 00:05:18,561 Speaker 1: I'm going to hold my hand up and say I'm 91 00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: the first one to say I don't think my relationship 92 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: with alcohol is healthy. And don't get me wrong, I 93 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:29,721 Speaker 1: find it so fun. That's the problem. That's one of 94 00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:32,681 Speaker 1: the problems. I find it fun. I find it relaxing. 95 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:37,761 Speaker 1: I reward myself with alcohol in the evening when I 96 00:05:37,801 --> 00:05:40,001 Speaker 1: know I've had a big day or a stressful day. 97 00:05:40,161 --> 00:05:41,961 Speaker 1: And actually it doesn't really matter. Like it could be 98 00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: a big day in a stressful day. Equally, it could 99 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,001 Speaker 1: be an amazing day where great things have happened. Then 100 00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:48,081 Speaker 1: it's celebratory. 101 00:05:48,521 --> 00:05:48,721 Speaker 2: Yeah. 102 00:05:48,761 --> 00:05:49,161 Speaker 3: Yeah. 103 00:05:49,241 --> 00:05:51,801 Speaker 1: It could be summer and the sun shining and we're 104 00:05:51,801 --> 00:05:54,001 Speaker 1: going to have a barbecue, so it'd be nice to 105 00:05:54,081 --> 00:05:58,001 Speaker 1: have a glass of bubbles. It could be winter and oh, 106 00:05:58,241 --> 00:06:00,681 Speaker 1: let's get cozy, have a glass of red. 107 00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:00,721 Speaker 3: You know. 108 00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:05,721 Speaker 2: And there's a reason and excuse for everything, right. 109 00:06:05,841 --> 00:06:09,041 Speaker 1: And look, I've just done two weeks of no alcohol 110 00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:13,401 Speaker 1: because I wanted to reset after Christmas. I can do it. 111 00:06:13,561 --> 00:06:17,041 Speaker 1: I know I can do it. It's not like I can't. However, 112 00:06:17,521 --> 00:06:21,321 Speaker 1: there's still a part of me, especially on the weekend 113 00:06:22,201 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: or Friday in particular, where I went, what am I 114 00:06:25,481 --> 00:06:27,601 Speaker 1: going to do tonight? Oh, drink water? 115 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 3: Does it become a part of your identity? 116 00:06:30,121 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's a big part of it is habit, 117 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,561 Speaker 1: it's that whole I always call it the witching hour. 118 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:42,481 Speaker 1: Is that when you're driving home from work, thinking about dinner, 119 00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:46,521 Speaker 1: putting dinner on that kind of I would say five 120 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:52,561 Speaker 1: to seven pm time. Once it's past that, I'm like, oh, yeah, 121 00:06:52,561 --> 00:06:55,641 Speaker 1: I'm fine now, and I'm great. I'm going to watch 122 00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 1: a show, read my book. I'm really happy that tomorrow 123 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,161 Speaker 1: I'm going to wake up feeling good. Yeah, I'm going 124 00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:05,281 Speaker 1: to get up early and I'm going to walk and whatever. 125 00:07:05,921 --> 00:07:10,801 Speaker 1: It's still those the evenings, especially during that two hour period, 126 00:07:10,841 --> 00:07:14,561 Speaker 1: where I'm battling with myself to the point where i 127 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,641 Speaker 1: feel like maybe that's more unhealthy than actually having a wine, 128 00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:22,281 Speaker 1: because in my head, I'm going you deserve a wine. 129 00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:25,841 Speaker 1: It's relaxing, you're going to really enjoy it. And then 130 00:07:25,841 --> 00:07:28,761 Speaker 1: there's the other voice in my head that goes, don't 131 00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:31,801 Speaker 1: have it, You're week it's unhealthy. 132 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:38,361 Speaker 2: All right, let's backdrag. Let's backtrack a little bit. You 133 00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:41,681 Speaker 2: mentioned it. It's five to seven pm. It's witching our 134 00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:44,761 Speaker 2: Where do you think that habit was started? At? 135 00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:45,321 Speaker 3: What age? 136 00:07:46,561 --> 00:07:48,441 Speaker 1: It's definitely been since having kids. 137 00:07:48,521 --> 00:07:50,521 Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I can make a joke of it. We've 138 00:07:50,561 --> 00:07:52,481 Speaker 2: spent years going am I a bad mom? Is it 139 00:07:52,521 --> 00:07:54,601 Speaker 2: too early to have a wine? I'm going to throw 140 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:58,121 Speaker 2: it out there and absolutely say that that habit, because 141 00:07:58,121 --> 00:08:00,441 Speaker 2: we all know and we can all talk about habits. 142 00:08:00,641 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 2: How long it takes to create a habit, how long 143 00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:06,961 Speaker 2: it feels like it takes to unpick a habit. 144 00:08:07,841 --> 00:08:09,561 Speaker 3: But where did the habit start? 145 00:08:10,481 --> 00:08:15,761 Speaker 2: I would say you unconsciously set it around witching hour. 146 00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:18,281 Speaker 2: Witching hour for me is five to seven pm. You 147 00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:20,161 Speaker 2: didn't even have to tell me the times I knew 148 00:08:20,161 --> 00:08:21,121 Speaker 2: exactly what it was. 149 00:08:21,441 --> 00:08:23,401 Speaker 3: Do you want to know why I. 150 00:08:23,401 --> 00:08:26,081 Speaker 2: Do the same thing. I do exactly the same thing. 151 00:08:26,641 --> 00:08:30,801 Speaker 2: I have that element of reward. Yeah, I also have 152 00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 2: an element of like, just one. I have the ability 153 00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:35,841 Speaker 2: and this is where you and I have spoken about. 154 00:08:36,321 --> 00:08:38,801 Speaker 2: I have an ability of being able to go just one. 155 00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:42,441 Speaker 3: That's enough. I don't need anything more. Yeah, just one. 156 00:08:42,721 --> 00:08:45,441 Speaker 3: But it's still a reward, and it's still alcohol in 157 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:46,001 Speaker 3: your system. 158 00:08:46,281 --> 00:08:50,961 Speaker 1: Yes see. The difference for me is that, yes, if 159 00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:54,001 Speaker 1: I'm driving, then I will just have one. 160 00:08:54,081 --> 00:08:57,081 Speaker 3: But most often rache not fast driving. Just no. 161 00:08:57,081 --> 00:08:59,921 Speaker 2: No. I need to clarify that because I know that 162 00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:03,001 Speaker 2: Katie will get to the editing process and go, oh 163 00:09:03,081 --> 00:09:06,081 Speaker 2: my god, I said I drink no. 164 00:09:06,321 --> 00:09:09,041 Speaker 1: So if say you're at dinner and I have I 165 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,641 Speaker 1: will have only one. If I know I have to 166 00:09:11,721 --> 00:09:15,041 Speaker 1: drive home, but more often than not, Rache, I will 167 00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:21,121 Speaker 1: rather have nothing. I would rather have water than just one. 168 00:09:21,281 --> 00:09:24,241 Speaker 1: And so this is where I am trying to understand 169 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:28,561 Speaker 1: my relationship with alcohol, because this differs to you in 170 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:33,401 Speaker 1: that when I have one and you start getting that 171 00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:38,361 Speaker 1: oh that little buzz, then I want another. And I 172 00:09:38,361 --> 00:09:41,641 Speaker 1: always have a limit, and I'm always very aware what 173 00:09:41,721 --> 00:09:44,801 Speaker 1: I need to do the next morning. So if I 174 00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:49,601 Speaker 1: am up super early and have things going on, or 175 00:09:49,681 --> 00:09:53,921 Speaker 1: I'm doing a really difficult hard workout, or then I 176 00:09:54,081 --> 00:09:59,961 Speaker 1: do have the restraint to understand my day the next day. 177 00:10:00,161 --> 00:10:01,361 Speaker 3: Yeah. 178 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:05,001 Speaker 1: However, Friday night, if I don't have to get up 179 00:10:05,161 --> 00:10:08,841 Speaker 1: on Saturday, I'm like, oh, Ye'll have another one. 180 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:13,321 Speaker 2: And I still have a limit. Yeah, but the limit 181 00:10:13,441 --> 00:10:17,481 Speaker 2: is pushed for me to get rid of the Friday night. Yeah, 182 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:21,601 Speaker 2: that itch like that Friday night. Fuck it, it's Friday night. 183 00:10:22,561 --> 00:10:25,601 Speaker 2: I started a new gym that had Saturday morning classes 184 00:10:25,601 --> 00:10:29,881 Speaker 2: at six am. Yeah, because why I couldn't just get 185 00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:33,881 Speaker 2: rid of it myself, Which is telling in itself, But 186 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,881 Speaker 2: the other part of it is I'm going to create 187 00:10:35,881 --> 00:10:38,121 Speaker 2: a different habit that's going to have to counteract that 188 00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:40,041 Speaker 2: because I'm going to do a few sessions with a 189 00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:42,201 Speaker 2: couple of drinks under my belt on Friday night. 190 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:45,801 Speaker 3: And fuck it's hard. Yeah, it's so much harder. 191 00:10:46,041 --> 00:10:48,401 Speaker 2: And like trying to do that skiogg after you've had 192 00:10:48,401 --> 00:10:51,761 Speaker 2: a few glass of bubbles, they don't calculate well together 193 00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:54,361 Speaker 2: the next morning at six am. So I've had to 194 00:10:54,441 --> 00:10:58,681 Speaker 2: learn taught myself almost like creating a habit on the 195 00:10:58,721 --> 00:11:02,561 Speaker 2: other side of the habit that you know I look to, 196 00:11:03,361 --> 00:11:05,001 Speaker 2: it's sort of counterbalanced itself. 197 00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:07,041 Speaker 3: So now like I'll. 198 00:11:06,841 --> 00:11:09,201 Speaker 2: Have you know, like for me, now I go, okay, 199 00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:11,681 Speaker 2: Saturday night, I might be able to have a glass 200 00:11:11,761 --> 00:11:15,681 Speaker 2: or two. Also, I think for you and me, which 201 00:11:15,721 --> 00:11:19,121 Speaker 2: is interesting because you're saying that is I don't get 202 00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:23,401 Speaker 2: the buzz, So I'm not looking for a buzz on 203 00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:25,961 Speaker 2: any night that I'm going to get a drink. Mine 204 00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:29,281 Speaker 2: is like a complete pole. Opposite is I'm looking for 205 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:33,521 Speaker 2: something to bring me down. I need it to turn 206 00:11:33,561 --> 00:11:37,921 Speaker 2: me down a notch. I am looking for a relaxant 207 00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,281 Speaker 2: rather than a stimulant. 208 00:11:39,881 --> 00:11:42,521 Speaker 3: And yeah, I think it's super interesting that. 209 00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,361 Speaker 2: Like when you just said that, I was like, oh, 210 00:11:44,401 --> 00:11:48,201 Speaker 2: how cool. I mean, if I have a champagne and 211 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,801 Speaker 2: it's a Saturday at midday, we're going in the races. 212 00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:54,321 Speaker 3: I know that I'm on a buzz, do you know 213 00:11:54,361 --> 00:11:56,041 Speaker 3: what I mean? Yeah, that makes sense to you. 214 00:11:56,201 --> 00:11:58,721 Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't even mean that I'm drinking something that 215 00:11:58,921 --> 00:12:02,441 Speaker 2: is more of a relaxant than a stimulant, because we 216 00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:05,201 Speaker 2: all know there's different alcohols that do different things for us. 217 00:12:05,281 --> 00:12:07,721 Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, let's go back to Shane. 218 00:12:07,841 --> 00:12:10,441 Speaker 2: I want to unpack shame with you because that's a 219 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,481 Speaker 2: big part and also that's a big key player without 220 00:12:13,521 --> 00:12:17,401 Speaker 2: you know, taking out male counterparts in this mix. It's 221 00:12:17,481 --> 00:12:20,881 Speaker 2: just really interesting to hear a female's perspective of like 222 00:12:21,081 --> 00:12:23,681 Speaker 2: shame around drinking, shame for me, shame. 223 00:12:23,441 --> 00:12:24,321 Speaker 3: Around not drinking. 224 00:12:24,881 --> 00:12:27,961 Speaker 2: I've had both extremes from it, not from like close 225 00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,961 Speaker 2: friends or anything like that, but that, oh you're not 226 00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:33,641 Speaker 2: drinking tonight, Oh what's wrong with you? Like, and you 227 00:12:33,721 --> 00:12:35,881 Speaker 2: sort of get the nose turned up at you a 228 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:40,041 Speaker 2: little bit because you're choosing not to do what everyone 229 00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:42,801 Speaker 2: else is doing. And usually for me, Katie, I'll take 230 00:12:42,841 --> 00:12:45,521 Speaker 2: on the peer pressure and go, oh, I'll just have 231 00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:48,601 Speaker 2: one and I'll just conform to the group. 232 00:12:48,961 --> 00:12:52,441 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's interesting because I've definitely been the person who's 233 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,761 Speaker 1: done the shaming too, then, because I've definitely been the 234 00:12:55,801 --> 00:12:58,041 Speaker 1: person that's gone. If you're not going to drink, don't 235 00:12:58,041 --> 00:13:05,881 Speaker 1: even bother coming. But the shame for me is more 236 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:14,801 Speaker 1: around going. I'm a high functioning female mum who's running 237 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:20,121 Speaker 1: a household and raising two children, and I feel like 238 00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:22,681 Speaker 1: I can't tell people how much I like to drink. 239 00:13:23,401 --> 00:13:29,441 Speaker 2: Yeah, right, And do you think that is like from 240 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:31,401 Speaker 2: a place of judgment. 241 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:38,641 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's judgment. I think it's weakness. And 242 00:13:38,721 --> 00:13:43,081 Speaker 1: I also am somebody that tries to be so super healthy. 243 00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:46,281 Speaker 1: My girls laugh at me because they're like, oh, mum, 244 00:13:46,361 --> 00:13:49,801 Speaker 1: you're always having some kind of supplement, or of course 245 00:13:49,841 --> 00:13:53,241 Speaker 1: you bought that organic, or of course you're not letting 246 00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:56,001 Speaker 1: us have macas, And so. 247 00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:58,561 Speaker 2: In every other angle of your life you're trying to 248 00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:02,041 Speaker 2: take on that role of like wellness, wellness, wellness, But 249 00:14:02,121 --> 00:14:05,641 Speaker 2: the one undoing is with alcohol. 250 00:14:05,841 --> 00:14:09,201 Speaker 1: And then I justify it because of that. My head 251 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:12,801 Speaker 1: is a very noisy place to be because then I 252 00:14:13,281 --> 00:14:18,041 Speaker 1: justify it because I go, oh, you don't have dessert, well, 253 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:21,881 Speaker 1: you don't eat fast food very often? Yeah, well, you 254 00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:26,481 Speaker 1: don't have sugar or hot chocolate, or you know, and 255 00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:29,641 Speaker 1: I joke. Sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah, I drink water 256 00:14:29,761 --> 00:14:32,241 Speaker 1: or wine depending on the time of day, nothing else. 257 00:14:32,281 --> 00:14:33,881 Speaker 1: I don't drink hot drink. I don't drink coffee. 258 00:14:33,921 --> 00:14:36,401 Speaker 3: I know that's weird everybody. 259 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:40,881 Speaker 1: But then friendship, but I do rage because then I go, well, 260 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,721 Speaker 1: I don't have dessert. I exercise, I do this, that 261 00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:47,041 Speaker 1: and the other. So why can't I have the one 262 00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:50,081 Speaker 1: thing that I enjoy having, that makes me feel good 263 00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:53,201 Speaker 1: and that I sit and enjoy in an evening? 264 00:14:53,321 --> 00:14:54,201 Speaker 3: Yeah. 265 00:14:54,281 --> 00:14:56,401 Speaker 2: I heard this other podcast and he was like, but 266 00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:58,881 Speaker 2: would you if I had a cup of poison here? 267 00:14:58,921 --> 00:15:00,721 Speaker 2: Would you sit here and drink the cup of poison 268 00:15:00,841 --> 00:15:03,561 Speaker 2: if I gave it to you? For me, I sat 269 00:15:03,561 --> 00:15:06,041 Speaker 2: there and I don't know why that particular thing landed 270 00:15:06,161 --> 00:15:09,081 Speaker 2: for me. I was like, there's now something that goes 271 00:15:09,121 --> 00:15:11,161 Speaker 2: through my head going, why are you choosing to put 272 00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:12,001 Speaker 2: this into your body? 273 00:15:12,321 --> 00:15:13,161 Speaker 1: Yeah? 274 00:15:13,321 --> 00:15:18,241 Speaker 2: Every afternoon and like Katie, honestly, the Monday to Friday, 275 00:15:18,241 --> 00:15:20,161 Speaker 2: for me, the way that I get out of witching 276 00:15:20,201 --> 00:15:23,641 Speaker 2: hour an hour is my kids. Not even joking, I 277 00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:26,441 Speaker 2: can get out of witching hour and feeling that itch. 278 00:15:26,561 --> 00:15:30,641 Speaker 2: Like last night, I genuinely like you hand on heart 279 00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:33,521 Speaker 2: was like, fuck, just want to drink, can't wait, looking 280 00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:34,401 Speaker 2: at my clock. 281 00:15:35,241 --> 00:15:37,761 Speaker 3: And then I was like, oh. 282 00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:39,401 Speaker 2: But I'm like I've got to go from netblele training, 283 00:15:39,801 --> 00:15:44,481 Speaker 2: not me, but netble training to dance, from dance to 284 00:15:44,641 --> 00:15:46,041 Speaker 2: home back to dance. 285 00:15:46,281 --> 00:15:48,281 Speaker 3: There's no ability. So I literally got home. 286 00:15:48,321 --> 00:15:51,521 Speaker 2: I couldn't get this like soft drink into a cup 287 00:15:51,721 --> 00:15:56,841 Speaker 2: fast enough. I just needed I was looking for something else, 288 00:15:57,401 --> 00:15:59,001 Speaker 2: and I also do the same as you. 289 00:15:59,121 --> 00:16:01,281 Speaker 3: I'm a coffee drinker, I'll. 290 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:03,721 Speaker 2: Admit that, but for the rest of the entire day, 291 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:07,961 Speaker 2: I'm drinking water, sparkling water for the entire day. So 292 00:16:08,081 --> 00:16:10,441 Speaker 2: then for me, I've created a habit around five to 293 00:16:10,481 --> 00:16:14,561 Speaker 2: seven going I literally can't wait to drink something else 294 00:16:14,721 --> 00:16:17,521 Speaker 2: other than water. Yeah, but it seems to be my 295 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:21,161 Speaker 2: fault is I go to an alcoholic beverage and then 296 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:25,201 Speaker 2: I'm like everything is you know, okay, and that's not right. 297 00:16:25,721 --> 00:16:29,561 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's definitely an element of fun for me as 298 00:16:29,601 --> 00:16:33,521 Speaker 1: well in it, Like I appreciate how sad it sounds 299 00:16:33,801 --> 00:16:37,001 Speaker 1: to go. I wouldn't want to go to a party 300 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:41,081 Speaker 1: without drinking, Like I know very hones though I know 301 00:16:41,161 --> 00:16:43,601 Speaker 1: how that sounds, and I know that there will be 302 00:16:43,641 --> 00:16:46,481 Speaker 1: so many people who don't drink, going, what do you 303 00:16:46,521 --> 00:16:48,481 Speaker 1: mean you can't have fun without a drink. It's not 304 00:16:48,601 --> 00:16:50,601 Speaker 1: that you can't have fun without a drink, It's just 305 00:16:50,681 --> 00:16:54,201 Speaker 1: that that's the habit that I'm in in that I 306 00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:58,721 Speaker 1: associate parties and New Year's Eves and things like that 307 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:04,561 Speaker 1: as being a fun time to drink and in the evenings, 308 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,201 Speaker 1: even though home I'm like, oh, should we have a 309 00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: wine tonight. 310 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 3: It's habit. 311 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:13,041 Speaker 1: It's habit, and it's fun and it's enjoyable. Yeah, that's 312 00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: the problem. And so I would be really interested to 313 00:17:16,321 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: know going back to the difference between us, you being 314 00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:21,801 Speaker 1: able to have one and me preferring just to have 315 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,921 Speaker 1: a water. If I'm only going to have one, yeah, 316 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,401 Speaker 1: I'm really interested to know about that kind of addicted 317 00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:32,561 Speaker 1: part of the brain in that why if I was 318 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:36,001 Speaker 1: to have a glass of wine, and don't get me wrong, 319 00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:37,401 Speaker 1: it has to be nice. I'm not going to sit 320 00:17:37,441 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: and drink cat piss just because it gives you. 321 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:43,801 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, No, However, we're past that point. We're too old. 322 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:45,121 Speaker 1: We're too old for that. 323 00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 2: I'm forty and I have never consumed one ounce of 324 00:17:48,481 --> 00:17:51,921 Speaker 2: Passion pop in my life. But at the same time, Now, 325 00:17:51,961 --> 00:17:53,680 Speaker 2: if I'm going to have a drink, it's going to 326 00:17:53,721 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 2: be a good drink. 327 00:17:54,801 --> 00:17:57,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, But I do the same with you. I'm like, 328 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,681 Speaker 1: if I'm going to eat something that tastes like shit 329 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,281 Speaker 1: or isn't very nice, what wasted calories? 330 00:18:02,521 --> 00:18:04,281 Speaker 3: Oh no, I'm the same same with drinks. 331 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,921 Speaker 1: So feel like when we're in our forties, we've very 332 00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: much done our time with the shit tasting. 333 00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:14,360 Speaker 3: Oh no, No. And you know what that thing is. 334 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 2: I think with age also is that I look at 335 00:18:16,481 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 2: it and go now, I sort of have that moment 336 00:18:19,801 --> 00:18:22,401 Speaker 2: of going, like I asked myself the question why am 337 00:18:22,441 --> 00:18:26,121 Speaker 2: having the drink? Sometimes I have that willpower that goes yeah, 338 00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 2: why like, and we'll back myself one hundred percent and 339 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,681 Speaker 2: just be like, yeah, why are you? 340 00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:31,081 Speaker 3: Like? 341 00:18:31,281 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 1: But do you think we give ourselves too much of 342 00:18:33,521 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: a hard time over it? Why can't we just feel 343 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,321 Speaker 1: like a drink and have a drink and then that 344 00:18:39,441 --> 00:18:40,761 Speaker 1: be end of the head noise. 345 00:18:41,801 --> 00:18:43,521 Speaker 3: It can be if you choose for it to be. 346 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,561 Speaker 2: Okay, my whole thing is now I look at it 347 00:18:46,681 --> 00:18:50,401 Speaker 2: my girls that are obviously nearly teens, I can't preach 348 00:18:50,521 --> 00:18:54,681 Speaker 2: something to them that I don't believe. And the other week, Oh, 349 00:18:54,681 --> 00:18:56,281 Speaker 2: we sat down, we had some fish and chips, the 350 00:18:56,281 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 2: girls and I just made the fish and the chips, 351 00:18:59,201 --> 00:19:00,761 Speaker 2: and it was so young, and I was like, I 352 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,761 Speaker 2: might have a glass of wine with this. Haven't drank 353 00:19:03,801 --> 00:19:06,201 Speaker 2: all week. Pour the glass of wine. Sit down with 354 00:19:06,241 --> 00:19:10,721 Speaker 2: my girls. They've got like sparkling waters. Had a moment 355 00:19:10,761 --> 00:19:13,200 Speaker 2: of mum guilt, going like what kind of example are 356 00:19:13,201 --> 00:19:16,561 Speaker 2: you setting right now? And then one of them made 357 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 2: the comment, Mum, why do you have to have wine 358 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,200 Speaker 2: with dinner? I said, do you know what at this 359 00:19:20,281 --> 00:19:22,121 Speaker 2: point in time, I have not had a drink all 360 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,561 Speaker 2: week because I've made a conscious effort this week not 361 00:19:24,681 --> 00:19:27,801 Speaker 2: to drink. I was like, so I'm having one with 362 00:19:27,921 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 2: dinner and that's it. You haven't seen me drink before this. 363 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,561 Speaker 2: I'm not consuming. I don't sit here and finish off 364 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,681 Speaker 2: the bottle. I have the one glass with dinner. I'm 365 00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:37,681 Speaker 2: enjoying it with the fish that we're about to eat. 366 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,360 Speaker 2: And then when we like sort of drew that understanding, 367 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,441 Speaker 2: I thought, in my head, do I have to explain 368 00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:45,321 Speaker 2: that to them? Do I have to explain myself to them? 369 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 2: I'm not sitting here and polishing off a cotton. But 370 00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 2: then is one glass of wine just the same as 371 00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:53,521 Speaker 2: drinking a cotton because you've had a drink. 372 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,001 Speaker 1: No, but I don't feel like there's anything wrong with 373 00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:00,680 Speaker 1: having one glass of wine. Yeah, if you have a 374 00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: bottle of wine, the glasses that we would pour at 375 00:20:04,441 --> 00:20:07,041 Speaker 1: or any book, I feel like poor at home are 376 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,640 Speaker 1: very different to a standard measure. When you look at 377 00:20:09,681 --> 00:20:11,640 Speaker 1: what a standard measure is, you go. 378 00:20:12,481 --> 00:20:13,281 Speaker 3: There are you're paying? 379 00:20:13,561 --> 00:20:17,241 Speaker 1: There are eight standard drinks in a bottle of wine. 380 00:20:17,761 --> 00:20:21,601 Speaker 1: If I'm having wine four days a week and I'm 381 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:25,400 Speaker 1: drinking a bottle, that's thirty two drinks a week. 382 00:20:25,721 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you think your body is like weighing 383 00:20:28,201 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 2: up on that? You can't tell me that your body 384 00:20:30,041 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 2: is like nailing every other category just because you're eating clean, 385 00:20:34,281 --> 00:20:38,161 Speaker 2: you're drinking water, you don't consume caffeine, you don't do drugs, 386 00:20:38,521 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 2: So then therefore what the alcohol. 387 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,400 Speaker 3: Is null and void? No, it's not like that. That 388 00:20:43,561 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 3: still takes a score. 389 00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:47,120 Speaker 2: There is a score on the body every time we 390 00:20:47,201 --> 00:20:49,521 Speaker 2: decide to have a drink. Yeah. I think that the 391 00:20:49,721 --> 00:20:52,241 Speaker 2: first part of it would be the honesty with ourselves, 392 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,801 Speaker 2: and then with that, you know, making a conscious effort 393 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,521 Speaker 2: of what works for us individually. But just like asking 394 00:20:59,561 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 2: yourself that question as to why you're choosing to need 395 00:21:03,241 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 2: that drink when you are looking do it, like we 396 00:21:05,721 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 2: were saying with the five to seven Witching Hour, like 397 00:21:09,241 --> 00:21:13,441 Speaker 2: sit in the feeling of what you are looking for 398 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:16,561 Speaker 2: that drink for right then and there, and it might 399 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,121 Speaker 2: share some light on where you're at emotionally rather than 400 00:21:20,561 --> 00:21:24,201 Speaker 2: trying to like null and void it with alcohol. 401 00:21:24,281 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 3: Does that make sense to you? 402 00:21:25,281 --> 00:21:29,721 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like last week, I know, for instance, like by 403 00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:32,281 Speaker 2: the time I sat down with the glass of glass 404 00:21:32,281 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 2: of wine after dinner, like I was stressed to the 405 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:38,321 Speaker 2: eyeballs and then it was like all of a sudden 406 00:21:38,441 --> 00:21:42,400 Speaker 2: everything was okay. But it wasn't until like I was 407 00:21:42,441 --> 00:21:44,400 Speaker 2: sort of going to bed doing the head noise like 408 00:21:44,441 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 2: you talk about and going like I didn't register early 409 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 2: enough to then go why are you needing the glass 410 00:21:50,001 --> 00:21:52,961 Speaker 2: of wine? But I knew it was to just try 411 00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:59,081 Speaker 2: and counteract stress, like up tight. You know, the inability 412 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:03,241 Speaker 2: of being able to relax is probably one of mine, 413 00:22:03,481 --> 00:22:05,840 Speaker 2: But yeah, I get it. I think it's that's first 414 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 2: and foremost within ourselves in that honesty place of like 415 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,920 Speaker 2: why we're choosing to consume the alcohol. I think sharing 416 00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:15,440 Speaker 2: light on it is like how do I feel the 417 00:22:15,441 --> 00:22:15,961 Speaker 2: next day? 418 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 3: Why am I doing it? What am I trying to 419 00:22:18,721 --> 00:22:19,401 Speaker 3: mask with it? 420 00:22:19,961 --> 00:22:22,521 Speaker 2: Like these are all questions are kind of healthy around 421 00:22:23,681 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 2: the reason why. 422 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,720 Speaker 1: I think also going back to you talking about it 423 00:22:27,761 --> 00:22:30,721 Speaker 1: being like drinking a glass of poison, and I get 424 00:22:30,761 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: that it's a very extreme version, right, but even that 425 00:22:33,681 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 1: analogy doesn't make me go, oh, my goodness, I'm not 426 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,321 Speaker 1: going to have a wine tonight. Well, I'm probably not 427 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,841 Speaker 1: going to tonight, but because I'm trying to not do weekdays, however, 428 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 1: it doesn't stop the want to. So I'll go, oh, 429 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:49,920 Speaker 1: I'm not going to drink Three to four nights a 430 00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 1: week is the goal that I've got in my mind. 431 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,161 Speaker 1: And look, that's a lot better than what I was doing. 432 00:22:55,321 --> 00:22:57,881 Speaker 2: No, No, I have to say to you, that's awesome. 433 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,321 Speaker 2: If you can reduce it by like say, two to three, 434 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,721 Speaker 2: you're already steps ahead of where you were. 435 00:23:03,041 --> 00:23:08,641 Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't stop me from wanting it, though, so 436 00:23:09,001 --> 00:23:13,761 Speaker 1: I might go, Okay, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Possibly, So at 437 00:23:13,761 --> 00:23:17,041 Speaker 1: the moment, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays are like a maybe 438 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: day if I've got stuff on early on Friday and 439 00:23:20,241 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: I want to train and all the rest of it. 440 00:23:21,561 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 1: I can stop myself. However, it doesn't stop me on 441 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: a Monday going I feel like a wine tonight doesn't 442 00:23:28,481 --> 00:23:33,880 Speaker 1: stop that. No, I'm just being strict on myself because 443 00:23:33,921 --> 00:23:37,961 Speaker 1: I've given myself this goal of being a bit healthier 444 00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 1: with it. 445 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,841 Speaker 2: Yeah, so your willpower has to come into it, yeah, 446 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:43,561 Speaker 2: to a degree. 447 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:48,160 Speaker 1: But then I wonder whether the head noise of the 448 00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:52,640 Speaker 1: oh I want to but I shouldn't and all of that, 449 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 1: Like is that worse because I because then I feel 450 00:23:57,481 --> 00:24:00,721 Speaker 1: like mentally, there's the whole you're battling. 451 00:24:00,961 --> 00:24:05,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, the battle requires willpower. But then, like looking to 452 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,561 Speaker 2: people that have gone through the whole, like quitting, some 453 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:13,041 Speaker 2: people can do it cold turkey. Some people can cut 454 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,041 Speaker 2: it five days of the week and they might have 455 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,201 Speaker 2: a glass on the weekend and they're okay. Like that, 456 00:24:17,281 --> 00:24:20,161 Speaker 2: there is an element of willpower, like you know, maybe 457 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,641 Speaker 2: they're training for marathons and so then therefore the regime 458 00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:26,761 Speaker 2: of having alcohol in their system it doesn't work. So 459 00:24:26,801 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 2: then they'll just cut it for twelve months and then 460 00:24:30,041 --> 00:24:31,720 Speaker 2: they might come back to it. I think there's a 461 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 2: part of like, if there's a will, there's a way, 462 00:24:34,281 --> 00:24:37,041 Speaker 2: and if you need to, you would, And if the 463 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 2: habit was removed like handed to you, like you know, 464 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,400 Speaker 2: somebody literally handed your ass to you, you would find 465 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,761 Speaker 2: a way that would work. 466 00:24:46,321 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 3: Not to drink it. 467 00:24:46,961 --> 00:24:49,761 Speaker 2: Very again, if it was a really big thing where 468 00:24:49,761 --> 00:24:51,640 Speaker 2: they were like, if you ever drinking on this, you 469 00:24:51,681 --> 00:24:53,441 Speaker 2: would go cold turkey tomorrow. 470 00:24:53,721 --> 00:24:56,561 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would. But when you say if there's a will, 471 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,841 Speaker 1: there's a way, I feel like for me, it's kind 472 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,881 Speaker 1: of not really much will. 473 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,920 Speaker 2: But again, Katie, I'm saying all of that, and I 474 00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,521 Speaker 2: can say it, and I can see it and I 475 00:25:07,561 --> 00:25:10,441 Speaker 2: can feel it. But at the same time, I'm with you, 476 00:25:11,001 --> 00:25:14,121 Speaker 2: like I can genuinely get to that place and go 477 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:18,001 Speaker 2: Mine comes down to like, you know, like, Okay, well, 478 00:25:19,321 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 2: I know those friends are coming over that'll have a 479 00:25:21,681 --> 00:25:24,041 Speaker 2: drink with me, you know, and it might be my 480 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,880 Speaker 2: one and only, but it still will have one. Yeah, 481 00:25:26,921 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 2: And then I'll have like you know, a couple of 482 00:25:29,721 --> 00:25:31,561 Speaker 2: family members will come over, and I know I'll have 483 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,321 Speaker 2: a very clean night because no one drinks. 484 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,321 Speaker 3: It's just like it's kind of like that. 485 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 2: So I completely get where you're coming from, and what 486 00:25:38,721 --> 00:25:41,921 Speaker 2: you're saying. I think we just, you know, like these 487 00:25:42,321 --> 00:25:46,400 Speaker 2: strict diets and fads, and unless someone comes to you 488 00:25:46,521 --> 00:25:49,801 Speaker 2: and says you are now Celiac and you can never 489 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,360 Speaker 2: have that ever again because you're going to be instantly 490 00:25:52,441 --> 00:25:54,961 Speaker 2: ill from the moment that you have it. Your whole 491 00:25:55,001 --> 00:25:58,360 Speaker 2: diet will change tomorrow directly because you don't want to 492 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:03,161 Speaker 2: go to that place of being ill from consuming it. Right. Yeah, alcohol, 493 00:26:03,321 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 2: if you really want to remove it, you can, and 494 00:26:06,001 --> 00:26:08,321 Speaker 2: there should be no shame around whether you do or 495 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 2: you don't. And I think it more starts with us 496 00:26:11,721 --> 00:26:13,041 Speaker 2: within ourselves. 497 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:17,801 Speaker 1: I've definitely had times Rach where and this is really honest, 498 00:26:17,961 --> 00:26:23,001 Speaker 1: but where I have not done certain things because I'm 499 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,041 Speaker 1: thinking about having a drink. So that might be driving 500 00:26:28,001 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 1: home late from somewhere, or it might be a kid's 501 00:26:33,521 --> 00:26:37,521 Speaker 1: activity at six am on a Sunday that I'm like, 502 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,761 Speaker 1: don't really want to do that because it means I 503 00:26:39,761 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: can't have a drink on Saturday night. And then the 504 00:26:42,241 --> 00:26:46,801 Speaker 1: shame around thinking you're changing things in your life and 505 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:51,761 Speaker 1: you're saying no to things, or you're revolving your thoughts 506 00:26:52,001 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 1: on certain activities nights, early mornings, whatever it is, because 507 00:26:57,761 --> 00:27:01,440 Speaker 1: you're working out when you can have a drink and 508 00:27:01,481 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: when you can't. There's a lot of shame in that. 509 00:27:04,561 --> 00:27:04,761 Speaker 3: Yeah. 510 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 2: But Katie, if you can spend that much time thinking 511 00:27:08,321 --> 00:27:12,961 Speaker 2: around and planning and strategizing with yourself around that amount 512 00:27:13,041 --> 00:27:15,640 Speaker 2: of like what you need in order to have a drink, 513 00:27:16,441 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 2: you can flip it on the other side of it 514 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:21,360 Speaker 2: and go. You could spend the same amount of time 515 00:27:21,481 --> 00:27:24,120 Speaker 2: strategizing and doing all of that why you shouldn't have 516 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,801 Speaker 2: a drink? Right? Yeah, again, will and away there's a 517 00:27:27,801 --> 00:27:30,360 Speaker 2: flip side to both of it. Again, if someone like 518 00:27:31,281 --> 00:27:34,761 Speaker 2: said to you you can you can never drink again? 519 00:27:34,921 --> 00:27:37,200 Speaker 2: Is it going to define who you are? Does it 520 00:27:37,321 --> 00:27:41,321 Speaker 2: change your personality? Are you not fun anymore? These are 521 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,881 Speaker 2: all good questions for each and every one of us. 522 00:27:43,921 --> 00:27:46,400 Speaker 2: And I'm not just throwing them on you. I'm saying 523 00:27:46,441 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 2: it from a place of going I've been doing the 524 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,360 Speaker 2: work myself, Yeah, asking myself the same questions. 525 00:27:52,761 --> 00:27:56,161 Speaker 1: The kid things really interesting because my kids definitely shame 526 00:27:56,281 --> 00:28:00,321 Speaker 1: me for drinking wine. They have always hated the smell 527 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,321 Speaker 1: of it. They even said to me, they said, Mum, 528 00:28:02,521 --> 00:28:04,761 Speaker 1: the smell of red wine reminds us of when we've 529 00:28:04,801 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 1: been on like long haul flights, and then I'm like, 530 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: oh jeez, that's not great memory to have a child, 531 00:28:12,201 --> 00:28:16,480 Speaker 1: Like you know, the trade table when you're trying to sleep, 532 00:28:16,521 --> 00:28:19,080 Speaker 1: and the wine would go over and you'd get out 533 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,241 Speaker 1: of the airport and you'd have red wine on your pajamas. 534 00:28:22,921 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 2: Honestly, if I started on all the smells that have 535 00:28:25,761 --> 00:28:29,041 Speaker 2: memories totach them from my childhood, we'd be here all day, 536 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 2: like red wine. 537 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 3: I think they're getting out easy. 538 00:28:31,681 --> 00:28:34,561 Speaker 1: The more I talk to other people, the more I 539 00:28:34,721 --> 00:28:38,681 Speaker 1: hear about all the kids seem to hate alcohol. Yeah, 540 00:28:38,761 --> 00:28:40,841 Speaker 1: they hate the smell of it. They hate the taste 541 00:28:40,881 --> 00:28:43,401 Speaker 1: of it. As they get older, they hate definitely a 542 00:28:43,521 --> 00:28:50,081 Speaker 1: shift seeing you perhaps a little intoxicated. Kids hate that. 543 00:28:50,161 --> 00:28:51,801 Speaker 1: I was talking to a friend the other day. She said, 544 00:28:52,041 --> 00:28:54,401 Speaker 1: my child doesn't speak to me when I've had a 545 00:28:54,401 --> 00:28:59,321 Speaker 1: few drinks. That's another interesting thing when your kids are younger, 546 00:28:59,521 --> 00:29:02,801 Speaker 1: and I'm very aware I'm about to say something that 547 00:29:03,561 --> 00:29:07,401 Speaker 1: raises a red flag in that you can hide it 548 00:29:07,601 --> 00:29:12,161 Speaker 1: from them better. And I absolutely did. Rate I would 549 00:29:12,161 --> 00:29:14,521 Speaker 1: have wine in the evening sometimes if they were going 550 00:29:14,521 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 1: to bed at seven at that whatever. Like young they 551 00:29:18,081 --> 00:29:20,881 Speaker 1: they were, I wouldn't have a drink before then, then 552 00:29:20,921 --> 00:29:21,960 Speaker 1: they didn't have to see it. 553 00:29:22,241 --> 00:29:23,801 Speaker 3: Yeah, then I wouldn't. 554 00:29:23,441 --> 00:29:27,001 Speaker 1: Have the you know, little eyes looking over what. 555 00:29:27,241 --> 00:29:28,641 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've done. 556 00:29:28,681 --> 00:29:32,241 Speaker 1: Whereas many times now they're older, my kids are seventeen, 557 00:29:32,441 --> 00:29:33,801 Speaker 1: they go to bed later than I do. 558 00:29:34,081 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 2: If I have a cider, I'll feel like sometimes I 559 00:29:36,281 --> 00:29:38,001 Speaker 2: have to tip the cider into a glass so it 560 00:29:38,001 --> 00:29:41,161 Speaker 2: looks like I'm having a soft drink. Yeah, like the 561 00:29:41,241 --> 00:29:43,361 Speaker 2: glasses still see through, and you kids still see it. 562 00:29:43,401 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 2: And then else will like at different times, go, I 563 00:29:45,961 --> 00:29:49,801 Speaker 2: can smell that that's alcohol, and I'm like, yep, but 564 00:29:49,841 --> 00:29:53,281 Speaker 2: I'm an adult. Yeah, that's not the right answer, you know, 565 00:29:53,441 --> 00:29:56,521 Speaker 2: like that is absolutely not the right answer, And as 566 00:29:56,561 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 2: it rolls off my tongue, I absolutely know it's not 567 00:29:59,281 --> 00:30:02,041 Speaker 2: the right answer. But at the same time, like I've 568 00:30:02,321 --> 00:30:04,601 Speaker 2: you know, if I stand there and beat myself up 569 00:30:04,601 --> 00:30:07,841 Speaker 2: over everything, like I just might as well be in 570 00:30:07,881 --> 00:30:08,521 Speaker 2: a straight jacket. 571 00:30:08,601 --> 00:30:09,041 Speaker 3: Katie. 572 00:30:09,801 --> 00:30:11,881 Speaker 2: There's so much to it. I think it all starts 573 00:30:11,881 --> 00:30:14,681 Speaker 2: within us. I think it starts within you. If you 574 00:30:14,761 --> 00:30:19,041 Speaker 2: start to already have that honest moment in time about 575 00:30:19,081 --> 00:30:23,401 Speaker 2: it with yourself, you'll start to raise your own red flags. 576 00:30:23,601 --> 00:30:25,801 Speaker 2: You just said one you'll start to raise your own 577 00:30:25,801 --> 00:30:27,241 Speaker 2: red flags. That's just my opinion. 578 00:30:27,881 --> 00:30:30,161 Speaker 1: I definitely have a lot of red flags over it. 579 00:30:30,521 --> 00:30:34,161 Speaker 1: I did a couple of weeks no, how cohol after Christmas? 580 00:30:34,161 --> 00:30:36,001 Speaker 1: Did I enjoy it? Not really? Did I go to 581 00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:37,521 Speaker 1: bed earlier than I normally would? 582 00:30:37,721 --> 00:30:39,281 Speaker 3: Yes? Did it change your sleep? 583 00:30:39,561 --> 00:30:40,041 Speaker 1: Not really? 584 00:30:40,441 --> 00:30:42,480 Speaker 3: Yeap? Did it change your moods? 585 00:30:43,121 --> 00:30:44,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was in worse of a mood. 586 00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:46,161 Speaker 3: Did it change your behaviors? 587 00:30:46,561 --> 00:30:50,921 Speaker 1: I would say I ate better and exercised more. 588 00:30:50,841 --> 00:30:53,761 Speaker 3: Because of it. Yeah, he's fucking grumpy. Yeah. Do you 589 00:30:53,761 --> 00:30:55,281 Speaker 3: have any feelings attached to it? See? 590 00:30:55,281 --> 00:30:58,161 Speaker 2: Straight away you're like, yeah, I was grumpy. Now, like 591 00:30:58,321 --> 00:31:00,201 Speaker 2: you say, you did two weeks off? 592 00:31:00,281 --> 00:31:03,641 Speaker 1: When did you start drinking? What age it's binge drinking? 593 00:31:03,961 --> 00:31:05,921 Speaker 1: Probably like sixteen? 594 00:31:06,201 --> 00:31:10,321 Speaker 2: Yeah, so sixteen through to Now do you think that 595 00:31:10,441 --> 00:31:13,561 Speaker 2: within two weeks you can feel a direct change and hit? 596 00:31:14,601 --> 00:31:14,841 Speaker 1: No? 597 00:31:15,121 --> 00:31:18,881 Speaker 2: Right, I don't do any longer though, I'm not making 598 00:31:18,881 --> 00:31:21,521 Speaker 2: you do any longer. I'm just asking the questions for 599 00:31:21,641 --> 00:31:23,761 Speaker 2: you to spend time to look into. 600 00:31:24,321 --> 00:31:28,801 Speaker 1: I think if I did six months, then I would 601 00:31:29,001 --> 00:31:33,441 Speaker 1: notice a real difference and the habits would be changed. 602 00:31:33,601 --> 00:31:36,041 Speaker 1: And I want to be really honest here, I don't 603 00:31:36,041 --> 00:31:37,960 Speaker 1: feel like I want to do that at the moment. 604 00:31:38,041 --> 00:31:39,681 Speaker 3: That's good, that's honest. 605 00:31:39,961 --> 00:31:40,681 Speaker 1: Yeah it's not good. 606 00:31:40,681 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 2: And you could sit here and lie to me and 607 00:31:42,801 --> 00:31:44,481 Speaker 2: tell me exactly what I want to hear. 608 00:31:44,641 --> 00:31:46,161 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that will get us nowhere. 609 00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:49,201 Speaker 1: Like we like when I say we, I'm hoping that 610 00:31:49,201 --> 00:31:52,681 Speaker 1: there's other people do the same thing. But when you 611 00:31:52,761 --> 00:31:55,161 Speaker 1: fill out a form at the doctors and ask how 612 00:31:55,161 --> 00:31:57,721 Speaker 1: many standard drinks you have a week and you say 613 00:31:58,561 --> 00:32:00,121 Speaker 1: I'm pretty having like four or. 614 00:32:00,161 --> 00:32:04,881 Speaker 2: Five, and your voice changes and cracks Yeah, no bottles. 615 00:32:06,121 --> 00:32:06,921 Speaker 3: I mean we laugh. 616 00:32:07,081 --> 00:32:08,361 Speaker 1: It's a serious topic. 617 00:32:08,561 --> 00:32:09,081 Speaker 3: It is. 618 00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 2: It is serious, but the laughter comes from a place 619 00:32:12,081 --> 00:32:16,881 Speaker 2: of uneasiness in truth. Yeah, between you and I right here, 620 00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:21,921 Speaker 2: right now, and sharing such huge topic that is very 621 00:32:21,961 --> 00:32:23,881 Speaker 2: relevant in so many households. 622 00:32:24,041 --> 00:32:27,681 Speaker 1: I do think that as women and as mums, we 623 00:32:27,801 --> 00:32:31,561 Speaker 1: need to remove the shame, be a bit more honest 624 00:32:31,641 --> 00:32:34,641 Speaker 1: and understand that there are other people in the same boat. 625 00:32:35,001 --> 00:32:37,281 Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a big topic and it is very 626 00:32:37,321 --> 00:32:40,361 Speaker 2: relevant in our society and especially in our age group 627 00:32:40,521 --> 00:32:43,841 Speaker 2: and within our demographic. But yeah, there's a lot of 628 00:32:43,841 --> 00:32:47,001 Speaker 2: help out there, and it does start with us being 629 00:32:47,001 --> 00:32:48,041 Speaker 2: honest with ourselves. 630 00:32:48,201 --> 00:32:53,121 Speaker 1: It's a very millennial thing because I feel like our 631 00:32:53,161 --> 00:32:56,561 Speaker 1: gen zs aren't drinking like we did. We've talked previously, 632 00:32:56,881 --> 00:33:00,761 Speaker 1: we fat that bottle shops alcohol companies are now trying 633 00:33:00,761 --> 00:33:04,921 Speaker 1: to find a way of targeting new drinks at gen zs. 634 00:33:05,121 --> 00:33:06,561 Speaker 1: Is they're not drinking like we did. 635 00:33:07,081 --> 00:33:10,401 Speaker 2: And because there's other stuff, Yeah okay, and there's something 636 00:33:10,641 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 2: always new and available, and it might mean it's not 637 00:33:13,641 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 2: drinking for that particular generation, but there's other stuff. 638 00:33:17,441 --> 00:33:19,281 Speaker 1: So what are you saying drinking is not that bad? 639 00:33:22,961 --> 00:33:26,761 Speaker 2: I really want to create like a wine that has 640 00:33:26,801 --> 00:33:29,161 Speaker 2: like protein in it, and I'll be just like kicking 641 00:33:29,201 --> 00:33:30,041 Speaker 2: goals everywhere.