WEBVTT - #2088 A Functional Delusion - Bobby Cappuccio 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:02.480 I get a groove as it's the You Project, It's Tiff, 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:06.200 Tiffany and Cook, It's Robert, Joseph Capuccio, Craig Anthony Harp 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:07.680 of the bloke in the middle of the screen. If 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:10.000 you happen to be one of us three. If not, 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:15.120 just trust me. Let's start with the real man on 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:16.920 the podcast tiff Good Morning. 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:20.480 Top of the Morning, Craig Anthony Harbor. 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:25.640 How are you? How's how things? How's your leprosy? How's 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:29.080 your future husband? How's your cat? How's your dog? Let's 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:30.320 just tick all the boxes. 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:34.640 Things are tickety boo, as one of my great friends says, 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:38.560 tickety boo, tickety shelder, little leprosy on the shoulders. Starting 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:40.760 to calm down today, it doesn't feel so horrific. 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:44.440 Oh, thank goodness for that. Does that mean I don't 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:49.400 need to train in a hazmat suit anymore? Or that 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:56.600 you's that tif? Exactly good question, Robert. 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:01.680 I have got a I am treating a skin cancer 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:04.959 lesion on my shoulder with some of that horrific cream 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:11.360 that causes chaos. So yeah, it's gross, isn't it. 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.400 I think you and I spoke once about skin cancer 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.480 and you said you'd never been checked, Bobby, No, I 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:21.280 never been checked. Yeah, no, fuck it, you don't want it. 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:25.200 I mean, whats me. Well, because you did grow up 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:28.480 in Brooklyn, you probably had like, I don't know, snow cancer, 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:29.880 not fucking the skin cancer. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.199 So oh no, when I was when I was younger, 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:34.679 it's so weird because like now, like I don't go 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:35.199 to the beach. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:35.920 I hate the beach. 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.759 I was always out on the beach in the summertime 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.640 when I when I was working out at sixteen, I 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:44.240 couldn't keep my clothes on, so middle of summer I 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.399 would be outside like. 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.400 Half naked all day. I mean, I feel like the 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:54.760 beach at Coney Island is probably a bit more dirt 0:01:54.800 --> 0:02:00.360 and grain and grit than white sands. Yeah. 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:02.560 I mean we have syringe needles in the water, or 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:06.320 we did, so it's pretty colorful. It's different than your 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:09.440 typical beach. It's more exciting, a lot more things going on, 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:11.280 you know, broken glass on the sand. 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:14.280 You gotta watch where you're walking. I still think they 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:19.280 still comb the foreshore in Melbourne anyway, or syringes, So 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:23.360 I don't think that's a totally an historical thing. Not 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:28.360 in Australia anyway. But it's definitely, thankfully definitely. How the 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:30.720 fuck do I know? I've done zero research? So this 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:33.640 is just my fucking hypothesis, you know, when you go 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.639 it's absolutely this, and then you're like, as it's coming 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:38.520 out of young God, you go and the fact do 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:41.480 you know have you done any research? No? I haven't. 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:45.600 It seems to me that's better. That's I don't know. 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:47.760 Tif does it seem like it's less of a thing 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:49.160 than it used to be to you? 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:51.440 Yeah, I feel like it's not on my radar. 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.440 Yeah, we get we used to get quite a bit 0:02:55.480 --> 0:03:00.120 of quite a bit of info and warning and you know, 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.480 be careful if you're going to the beach, wear shoes 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:05.240 or songs, and you know, don't don't walk in the 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:08.640 sand in bare feet, especially in certain areas that I 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:13.920 won't mention. But ah, dear, and you had a gig 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.520 today and you said to me you'd hopefully get back 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:20.200 at eleven thirty, which is now just after eleven thirty. 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:22.720 So you said you're in ninety you said you're a 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:28.119 ninety percent chance, and it looks like that's one hundred percent. Now, 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:29.520 how did your gig go. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.120 I'm almost sure I'm going to make it to this 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:35.480 podcast it went Okay, it wasn't. It's not like a 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:39.200 public speaking gig. It's a group coaching gig. I facilitate 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:44.560 with a group of para professionals and teachers. 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.680 Oh cool group. I love this group. They are a 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:50.800 lot of fun to be with. I've got an interesting 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:53.120 group that I'm chatting to. As I said to you 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.960 before off air, both you in what is now about 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:59.400 eighty minutes from now, which is a group of people 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:01.520 who work in the addiction space. So a whole lot 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:07.000 of kind of counselors and facilitators and workers in that space. 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:12.320 And yeah, I'm excited because it's only like I think 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:14.960 it's eight people or nine people just sitting in a 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:18.760 boardroom around the table. Where. I love that, Like it's 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:23.000 very you know, it can almost be wherever you guys 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:24.560 want me to go, that's where we'll go. What do 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:27.039 you want to know? Okay, so this is kind of 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:31.039 my area of I guess expertise. What in the context 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:32.960 of that would you like to talk about? You know? 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:37.880 So I like those ones where it's it's almost like 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:40.040 a meeting and you just happen to be chairing the 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:43.160 meeting and doing the bulk of the talking. But it's 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:47.599 sometimes you get way more kind of achieved in small 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:49.520 group and you do a bit of that, don't you 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.520 a bit of that kind of group coaching stuff? 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:54.080 Now, actually do quite a bit of that, you know, 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.480 I don't know if it's group coaching or it's more 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.440 like a conversational facilitated workshop. 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:00.400 Yeah. 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:03.159 I find it really rewarding because when you're dealing with 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.880 people who work with individuals with addiction, or people that 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.880 are in the social work domain, or any type of 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:13.560 special needs of special populations, these are people that are 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:17.800 beautifully compassionate people that get into work like this, but 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:21.320 they tend to find themselves I mean, you know, there's 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:23.599 exceptions to the rule, but they tend to find themselves 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:26.640 overworked and under resourced. And when you work with a 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:30.440 group like that, I think it's highly impactful. Like you 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:32.880 have eight people in the room. You know, let's assume 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:35.839 four couldn't care less like what you spoke about a 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:38.760 week from now right, and two of them care but 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.200 they don't have the bandwidth. And another two of those 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:44.440 eight really go out and do something different given the 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:47.560 population that they're working with that's going to have a 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:52.200 long term residual effect that's quite meaningful for more people 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:56.839 than you'll ever realize. So I'm grateful that you know 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:59.560 we can do that type of work in that environment. 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:02.960 I think it's also like you say, it's like you 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:05.520 might just think in a room full of eight people 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.320 or me and eight, but an audience of eight, if 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:11.279 you really resonate with one, that's twelve and a half 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:14.000 percent of the audience, If you really connect with two, 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.200 that's twenty five percent of the audience, and so on. 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:19.680 And then you know, I wouldn't mind if I had 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:22.240 one hundred people in a room. If I really really 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:26.800 connected with twenty five, that's not a terrible outcome, you know, 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:30.640 in terms of having an impact where they go do 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:32.599 something with that. That's what I mean by that. 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:36.080 I always had this thing where you never know who's 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.440 in the room, and I learned this so oh god. 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.960 Rewinding back to two thousand and two, it was the 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:49.360 NESM International Conference and we had about memory serves me correct, 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:51.360 roughly about five hundred people. 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.279 Just tell our audience what NASM is. 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:59.040 Oh so a NESM is a certification company. It's one 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:04.120 of the largest and most reputable like globally I would imagine, 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:08.280 and we put we put together this conference. 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:12.480 You didn't finish that certification for what? Oh I'm sorry, personally, 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:15.800 where's my head out today? I must be talking to it. 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:18.240 You're not talking to a fitness industry audience. 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:20.120 Yeah, it's it's the health and it's the health and 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:24.120 fitness space. So working I would assume, still haven't been 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:27.840 affiliated with NSM in a while, but working with you know, 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:34.120 fitness professionals, working with personal trainers like that group. But 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:38.280 this conference was open to talk to leadership at multiple 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:40.840 levels of the organization, from the c suite all the 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:44.239 way down to the trainer. And sitting in that room 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:49.760 was Michael Ducourt, was ian O Dwyer, was Richard Boyd. 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:54.840 Was Peter Hood who's very sadly no longer with us. 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:59.440 Matt Coulson, Paul Taylor, not our Poultail or a different 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:05.840 Paul Taylor or who has shockingly similar personality traits, and 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:11.920 also from Northern Ireland. Small world anyway, And so all 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:16.640 these people were in this room, and that one conference 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:23.800 created multiple deals that put us in front of thousands 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:28.280 of people in multiple countries. So you have people in 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.240 the room. But a few of those people, you don't 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:33.199 know the influence. You don't know how you're going to 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:36.120 inspire them. They might become speakers themselves. They might go 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:38.880 out and do something that they never thought of doing before. Right, 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:41.319 They may go out and become someone they never would 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.960 have been before they were sitting in that audience, and 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.640 they might impact tens of thousands of people. 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:50.439 So you never know who's sitting in front of you. Well, 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:53.640 Jesus did all right, I mean it, he started off 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:57.800 with twelve, didn't he. He's like he bikes. Just gather around. 0:08:57.800 --> 0:09:01.640 They've got some stuff, all right, So God right, got 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:06.559 that me s o g Son of God, lean in, Judas, 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.480 you can lean back, Peter, You're going to come in 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:13.600 real handy. And they just went, this is good. We 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:17.840 might go tell others and bibbity bobbedy boo. So that 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:21.720 seemed to work. That's not the worst model. Not that 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.800 you or I or tif are the Messiah, but we 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.240 could be Messianic in our own little kind of Do 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.760 you like that words of Messianic in our own little 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:31.600 kind of you know, tunnel? 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:36.720 Yeah, that would be that would be a massive disaster. Yeah, 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:40.280 he's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy. That 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:46.080 is that is nothing but chaos and despair, and. 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:48.600 I don't know, maybe a little bit hilarity along the way. 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:53.920 One hundred. I so many times, like I have, well, 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.520 I think not so many times recently because I think 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:58.040 I'm better at it, but I will put up my 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:02.840 hand and say by periodically been terrible at reading the room, 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:06.400 and like both of you, I'm sure at times created 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:11.160 you know, not chaos globally, but at least with part 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:14.160 of the audience. But I also remember lots of times 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:16.240 when and we've spoken about this a bit, so I 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:19.640 won't remember, I won't mention the same specific story, but 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:22.800 at least twenty times in my life, and this is 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:26.440 over thousands of presentations, but at least twenty times I 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:28.960 was sure that some person in the room hated me, 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:32.160 because that was the vibe and the energy I was getting. 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.920 They hate me. They can't wait for this to be over. 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:38.719 They think I'm a fucking idiot or something. So I'm 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.320 up there concentrating on the one, not the ninety nine, 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:45.240 and I'm telling myself a story, and I'm just struggling 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:48.440 through to try to not completely fuck it up. And 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:50.439 then the one comes and tells me how much they 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:54.800 loved me or how much they loved it, and you know, 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.199 I'm like, oh god, I have no idea, like sometimes 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.800 especially if someone who's doing what I'm and in research, 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:05.360 but yeah, that it's so easy to get that. How 0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:08.800 do people see me, experience me, understand me. It's so 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.480 easy to get that wrong because you just misinterpret a 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.120 facial expression and you don't know they could be that 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:18.640 could be their version of I'm really fucking concentrating, but 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:22.640 you read it as I'm really fucking mad at you, 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.200 you know, or whatever, and then you run with that 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.160 and that becomes your narrative for the next thirty minutes. 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:30.959 And by the time you finish the thing, you're scared 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:32.320 to walk to your car because you think they're going 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:33.439 to kill you in the car park. 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:38.240 So you know they may that could happen. You know, 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:41.559 it's an atlandish thought, but it very well could happen. 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:46.320 Statistically probably not high, not high, but possible. 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:50.680 So you know what I've been thinking about talking about, 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:55.760 like delusion, because we're you're your own multiverseign to yourself, 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:59.760 aren't you. You're living in multiple realities at any given point. 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:00.640 I mean, they're not. 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:05.000 Actual realities, but perceptually it feels pretty real. And I 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:08.640 was thinking about the podcast you did with Chris Evans, 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:13.800 not Captain America, the Psychology Chris Evans. 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.360 And I actually got his name wrong. It is Chris, 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:21.040 but it's not Evans. It's not Evans. It's French. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:24.480 it's very different. That's very different than Evans. But anyway, 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:26.679 he was great, wasn't he. Well, I thought he was great. 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:28.880 I love that episode. 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:32.040 I love that he's, you know, good mates with Richard Wiseman, 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:35.760 who's absolutely brilliant. 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:39.280 And something he said caught my attention. It's come up. 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:41.400 It's kind of like what you focus on is what 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:44.480 you notice, and it brought my attention to a healthy 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.760 level of delusion. We're all delusional for better or for 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:51.040 worse about something. And I'm not talking about delusions to 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:55.000 the point of megalomania, which is highly destructive to yourself 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:59.960 and others. But there is a healthy level of delusion 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:04.520 that I think is important, not for just like life trajectory, 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.560 but for your own sanity, your own mental health. 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:12.080 Give us an example, like, when I think of delusion, 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.280 I think of somebody that's just kind of fucking out 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:19.079 of their mind or they just have a very unhealthy 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:21.120 version of reality. 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:25.199 Okay, So just the other night, in the middle of 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.559 a rainstorm, I'm walking completely naked down the road and 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:31.839 this corpor. Oh wait, now that's a different story. That's 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:34.880 not the one I wanted to tell anyway. So I'm 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:39.480 driving down the road fully closed, middle of the day, 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:44.040 very very different already, right, stories literally night and day. 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:47.520 And I'm listening to an audio program from one of 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:50.920 my fam my favorite speakers at the time, and I 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:54.400 hear them talk about the Yale Study of nineteen fifty 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:57.760 three where in nineteen fifty three they did study where 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:01.360 they got the entire graduating cloud of Yale University and 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.800 they asked them one specific question, how many of you 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.079 have clearly defined goals and written plans for their achievement? 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.600 And they followed these people over a span of twenty years. 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:14.280 Nineteen seventy three, they interviewed the surviving. You know, not 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:19.080 a couple of people died tragic accidents, unlikely, possible, and 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:24.440 they basically tracked them. And what they found that in 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:30.920 nineteen fifty three, only three percent of the graduating class 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:36.040 of Yale had clearly defined goals and written plans for 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:39.080 their achievement, which I kind of thought, stay with me, 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:40.840 was a little bit odd that you would go to 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.440 an Ivy League school and not have a clear goal 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:45.880 about where you're going in life. But that's what they found. 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.960 And in nineteen seventy three, twenty years later, what they 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:52.680 discovered was the three percent that had clearly defined, written 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:59.400 goals were earning more than the other ninety seven percent combined. Yeah, 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:03.440 and then in another audio program, I was listening to 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.480 the Harvard study which pretty much did the same thing, 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:11.640 and they had very similar findings. Now, the problem with 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:13.800 that is neither of those studies ever took place. 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:14.880 It's an urban legend. 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:18.800 Yale or Harvard have no record of any of that 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:22.480 research ever being done. And that was exposed in a 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:27.880 Fast Company article by Lawrence Taybeck. And what's interesting about 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.360 that is I didn't know that that was false, and 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:34.160 I thought, wow, So all you really need to do 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:40.520 is have a clearly defined goal and have detailed plans 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:43.840 for the achievement of that goal, and being willing to 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.480 work really hard and put in the effort. And it's 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.600 not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.760 Look at these two studies, and I went from being 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:58.280 this kid with brain damage, no real impressive educational background 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:00.560 to achieving the top goals on my life in just 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:04.239 a few years. And I was basing that on a delusion. 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:08.240 It was a completely delusional belief. But like we've talked 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:10.880 about Tiff and I manifesting, like what does it mean? 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:11.800 Was it not mean? 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:14.880 And say every time something would happen that would get 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.320 in the way of my trajectory, I just thought, oh, well, I'm. 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:17.880 Learning from this. 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:21.000 I could adapt, I can learn new skills. I never 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.960 for a second took it as oh, well, maybe I'm 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:26.360 not cut out for this, because I thought, I'm amazing 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.920 at this. If anybody else can do it, I can 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:31.720 do it. And you know, this is just math. Look 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:36.880 at the studies, complete bullshit. But that healthy dose of 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:41.360 delusion served me really well until I was as company 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:41.720 it is. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.560 That is a great story and a great explanation. Thank you, 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:51.400 It really is. And it's a it's kind of a 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:54.000 plus a boat. It's almost like a career plus a 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:58.560 boat because you believe, if I'm taking this pill of 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:02.480 goals and structure and process and timeline, and I keep 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:05.400 taking this pill, then this will be the outcome. 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:10.639 Well yeah, yeah, so and it was even because of that, 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:15.000 I had a major setback. So this I had just 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:18.199 been I had just left the military. And when I 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.119 say left the military, I had just been asked to 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:28.280 leave the military because of Tourette's. So and I got 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.840 out and I had no job, and a friend of 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:32.840 mine said, you know, I've got this perfect position. 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.000 It pays exceedingly well. 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:39.560 And it was this really high profile CEO, and so 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:41.720 like I didn't have a call to drive out to 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:44.720 this place. I spent hours on a bus getting out 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.840 to this guy. Finally made it over there, sat down 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:50.720 in the interview and he was asking me a little 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:53.720 bit about my life goals. And I had on me 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:56.920 my briefcase and in there I had like ten pages 0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.320 of written out plans. He took a look at my 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:03.479 goals and the plans and the strategies. I looked up 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.520 and he said, there's no way I'm going to hire you. 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:09.600 This is just not the job for. 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:13.919 You, because you are so clear on what it is 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:18.080 you want. Nah, you shouldn't be working for anybody else 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:18.560 right now. 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:20.400 You should be focusing on. 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.879 Making this happen, and I was like dead broke, Like 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:26.360 I had just about enough money to get home that day, 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:29.320 buy myself a cup of coffee. And Tuesdays were my 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:32.600 favorite days because it was ninety nine cent whopper day, 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:35.840 so for a dollar ninety eight I could buy two whoppers. 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:38.000 I didn't have to eat for another twenty four hours. 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:41.040 So I was in dire straits and losing that job 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:42.880 for me, I was like, oh my god, this is 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.520 this is perfect evidence. He said I'm doing so well 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:48.440 with this goal setting thing, He's not even going. 0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:48.960 To hire me. 0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:53.800 And so like this epic failure somebody needed desperately inspired 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:57.040 me somebody, and all of these failures where like nothing 0:18:57.160 --> 0:19:00.680 was going my way, I misinterpreted that evidence. 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:03.959 I was completely on the right track. How old were 0:19:04.000 --> 0:19:05.960 you at this How old were you at this stage, 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:10.680 very early twenties. Yeah, when you said you got kicked 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:14.120 out of the military for having turettes, I just pickeded 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:18.760 you walking around the yard with your with your rifle 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:21.240 above your head gun, fucked the enemy, fucked the enemy, 0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:24.400 you know something like that. That would have been right. 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:27.360 That's I don't know that that doesn't really. 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:31.959 Work very well, I'm standing I'm standing at GQ in 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:35.119 General Quarters. Everybody silent and attention, and I'm just go 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:37.840 shitt know that, Yeah that that that kind of stuff 0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:40.960 doesn't work. That wasn't my issue in the military. It 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:43.960 was that my rate was Corman. I was in the Navy, 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:46.280 so Corman's kind of like a medic, and there's just 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:49.199 so much attention to detail, Like if you put a 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:52.600 tourniquet on somebody, you've got to write that time, like 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:55.520 somewhere visible on their body, like their forehead, so people 0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:58.000 know when that tourniquet needs to be removed or you're 0:19:58.000 --> 0:19:59.600 going to cross somebody their limbs. 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:05.639 It was like you are a walking liability. Really why yeah? 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:13.639 Why why? Because with touretts you have lack of impulsivity. 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:19.600 Obsessive compulsive disorder comes along with that very serious ADHD. 0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:23.280 Would you said lack of impulsivity, I would say you 0:20:23.280 --> 0:20:29.800 would be lack of impulse control, like increased impulsivity. Yeah. Sorry, 0:20:29.800 --> 0:20:30.520 I'm a little. 0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:33.520 Bit a little bit foggy today, but yeah, So there's 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:37.239 a whole suite of symptoms that come with turettes that 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:41.280 are just not ideal when you need to be like 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:44.400 highly focused for a long period of time with extreme 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:47.240 attention to detail, which is what was required at my rate, 0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:48.480 and like, yeah, you're you're out. 0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:51.440 So what a grid idea that you become a spiker 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:54.240 who stands in front of audiences and needs to be 0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:59.040 calm and clear and articulate and make sense and not 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:03.159 lose your shits and be assessed by five hundred people 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:07.919 in a moment that doesn't seem naturally. You've seen me 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:13.400 present to an audience before you of these things. No 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:15.960 you no, no, no, you're very good. But you know, 0:21:16.040 --> 0:21:21.520 the funny thing with you is, and this is a compliment. Yeah, 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:25.399 you can be scatty as fuck and then get on 0:21:25.480 --> 0:21:28.800 stage and you're the opposite. It's like you're just a bit, 0:21:29.480 --> 0:21:32.320 or you can be just a bit. You know, all 0:21:32.359 --> 0:21:34.760 the things that you are, you know, a bit distracted, 0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:37.040 a bit, a bit caught up in the moment, or 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:38.960 a bit worried, or a bit anxious or a bit 0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:42.359 and then you get called out and you go out. 0:21:42.520 --> 0:21:47.000 And usually nearly every time I've seen you, especially the 0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:49.520 time where I flew you out and you did some 0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:51.960 work for me or work with me, I should say, 0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:56.920 at one of my weekends yeah, where you. Yeah, every 0:21:57.000 --> 0:21:59.320 time you were just you would get into flow pretty 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:03.080 quickly and you're just in state, and everybody knew you 0:22:03.119 --> 0:22:05.080 by that. You know, there's one hundred and thirty people 0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:07.560 on the weekend, and by the end of the first 0:22:07.640 --> 0:22:10.919 night everyone knew you. By the second day, everybody was 0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:14.640 chatting to you and you were chatting everyone else. And yeah, 0:22:15.119 --> 0:22:19.240 like you just really have this capacity to turn on 0:22:19.359 --> 0:22:20.800 that switch whatever it is. 0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:24.480 Well, that environment is the perfect environment for someone with 0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:30.240 TARATS because when you are focused single mindedly on something 0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:34.960 that you were interested in, and that's combined with physicality, 0:22:35.359 --> 0:22:39.240 like exerting physical effort and like you now, it feels 0:22:39.280 --> 0:22:42.200 like you're around a marathon at the end of training day, 0:22:42.480 --> 0:22:44.879