1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: I get a groove as it's the You Project, It's Tiff, 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook, It's Robert, Joseph Capuccio, Craig Anthony Harp 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: of the bloke in the middle of the screen. If 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: you happen to be one of us three. If not, 5 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: just trust me. Let's start with the real man on 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: the podcast tiff Good Morning. 7 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 2: Top of the Morning, Craig Anthony Harbor. 8 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: How are you? How's how things? How's your leprosy? How's 9 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: your future husband? How's your cat? How's your dog? Let's 10 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: just tick all the boxes. 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 2: Things are tickety boo, as one of my great friends says, 12 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 2: tickety boo, tickety shelder, little leprosy on the shoulders. Starting 13 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 2: to calm down today, it doesn't feel so horrific. 14 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: Oh, thank goodness for that. Does that mean I don't 15 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: need to train in a hazmat suit anymore? Or that 16 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: you's that tif? Exactly good question, Robert. 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 2: I have got a I am treating a skin cancer 18 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 2: lesion on my shoulder with some of that horrific cream 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 2: that causes chaos. So yeah, it's gross, isn't it. 20 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: I think you and I spoke once about skin cancer 21 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: and you said you'd never been checked, Bobby, No, I 22 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: never been checked. Yeah, no, fuck it, you don't want it. 23 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: I mean, whats me. Well, because you did grow up 24 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, you probably had like, I don't know, snow cancer, 25 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: not fucking the skin cancer. 26 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,199 Speaker 3: So oh no, when I was when I was younger, 27 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 3: it's so weird because like now, like I don't go 28 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,199 Speaker 3: to the beach. 29 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: I hate the beach. 30 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 3: I was always out on the beach in the summertime 31 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 3: when I when I was working out at sixteen, I 32 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 3: couldn't keep my clothes on, so middle of summer I 33 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 3: would be outside like. 34 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: Half naked all day. I mean, I feel like the 35 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: beach at Coney Island is probably a bit more dirt 36 00:01:54,800 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: and grain and grit than white sands. Yeah. 37 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 3: I mean we have syringe needles in the water, or 38 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 3: we did, so it's pretty colorful. It's different than your 39 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 3: typical beach. It's more exciting, a lot more things going on, 40 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 3: you know, broken glass on the sand. 41 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: You gotta watch where you're walking. I still think they 42 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: still comb the foreshore in Melbourne anyway, or syringes, So 43 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: I don't think that's a totally an historical thing. Not 44 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: in Australia anyway. But it's definitely, thankfully definitely. How the 45 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: fuck do I know? I've done zero research? So this 46 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: is just my fucking hypothesis, you know, when you go 47 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: it's absolutely this, and then you're like, as it's coming 48 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: out of young God, you go and the fact do 49 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: you know have you done any research? No? I haven't. 50 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: It seems to me that's better. That's I don't know. 51 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: Tif does it seem like it's less of a thing 52 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: than it used to be to you? 53 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like it's not on my radar. 54 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, we get we used to get quite a bit 55 00:02:55,480 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 1: of quite a bit of info and warning and you know, 56 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: be careful if you're going to the beach, wear shoes 57 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: or songs, and you know, don't don't walk in the 58 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 1: sand in bare feet, especially in certain areas that I 59 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: won't mention. But ah, dear, and you had a gig 60 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: today and you said to me you'd hopefully get back 61 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: at eleven thirty, which is now just after eleven thirty. 62 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: So you said you're in ninety you said you're a 63 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:28,119 Speaker 1: ninety percent chance, and it looks like that's one hundred percent. Now, 64 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: how did your gig go. 65 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 3: I'm almost sure I'm going to make it to this 66 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 3: podcast it went Okay, it wasn't. It's not like a 67 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 3: public speaking gig. It's a group coaching gig. I facilitate 68 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 3: with a group of para professionals and teachers. 69 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 1: Oh cool group. I love this group. They are a 70 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: lot of fun to be with. I've got an interesting 71 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: group that I'm chatting to. As I said to you 72 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: before off air, both you in what is now about 73 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: eighty minutes from now, which is a group of people 74 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: who work in the addiction space. So a whole lot 75 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: of kind of counselors and facilitators and workers in that space. 76 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm excited because it's only like I think 77 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: it's eight people or nine people just sitting in a 78 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: boardroom around the table. Where. I love that, Like it's 79 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: very you know, it can almost be wherever you guys 80 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: want me to go, that's where we'll go. What do 81 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: you want to know? Okay, so this is kind of 82 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 1: my area of I guess expertise. What in the context 83 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: of that would you like to talk about? You know? 84 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: So I like those ones where it's it's almost like 85 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: a meeting and you just happen to be chairing the 86 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: meeting and doing the bulk of the talking. But it's 87 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 1: sometimes you get way more kind of achieved in small 88 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: group and you do a bit of that, don't you 89 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: a bit of that kind of group coaching stuff? 90 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 3: Now, actually do quite a bit of that, you know, 91 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 3: I don't know if it's group coaching or it's more 92 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 3: like a conversational facilitated workshop. 93 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 94 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 3: I find it really rewarding because when you're dealing with 95 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 3: people who work with individuals with addiction, or people that 96 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 3: are in the social work domain, or any type of 97 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 3: special needs of special populations, these are people that are 98 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 3: beautifully compassionate people that get into work like this, but 99 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 3: they tend to find themselves I mean, you know, there's 100 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 3: exceptions to the rule, but they tend to find themselves 101 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 3: overworked and under resourced. And when you work with a 102 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 3: group like that, I think it's highly impactful. Like you 103 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 3: have eight people in the room. You know, let's assume 104 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 3: four couldn't care less like what you spoke about a 105 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 3: week from now right, and two of them care but 106 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 3: they don't have the bandwidth. And another two of those 107 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 3: eight really go out and do something different given the 108 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 3: population that they're working with that's going to have a 109 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 3: long term residual effect that's quite meaningful for more people 110 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 3: than you'll ever realize. So I'm grateful that you know 111 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 3: we can do that type of work in that environment. 112 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: I think it's also like you say, it's like you 113 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: might just think in a room full of eight people 114 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: or me and eight, but an audience of eight, if 115 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: you really resonate with one, that's twelve and a half 116 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: percent of the audience, If you really connect with two, 117 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: that's twenty five percent of the audience, and so on. 118 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: And then you know, I wouldn't mind if I had 119 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: one hundred people in a room. If I really really 120 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: connected with twenty five, that's not a terrible outcome, you know, 121 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: in terms of having an impact where they go do 122 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 1: something with that. That's what I mean by that. 123 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 3: I always had this thing where you never know who's 124 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 3: in the room, and I learned this so oh god. 125 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 3: Rewinding back to two thousand and two, it was the 126 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 3: NESM International Conference and we had about memory serves me correct, 127 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 3: roughly about five hundred people. 128 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: Just tell our audience what NASM is. 129 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 3: Oh so a NESM is a certification company. It's one 130 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 3: of the largest and most reputable like globally I would imagine, 131 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 3: and we put we put together this conference. 132 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: You didn't finish that certification for what? Oh I'm sorry, personally, 133 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: where's my head out today? I must be talking to it. 134 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: You're not talking to a fitness industry audience. 135 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's the health and it's the health and 136 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 3: fitness space. So working I would assume, still haven't been 137 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 3: affiliated with NSM in a while, but working with you know, 138 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 3: fitness professionals, working with personal trainers like that group. But 139 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 3: this conference was open to talk to leadership at multiple 140 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 3: levels of the organization, from the c suite all the 141 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,239 Speaker 3: way down to the trainer. And sitting in that room 142 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 3: was Michael Ducourt, was ian O Dwyer, was Richard Boyd. 143 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 3: Was Peter Hood who's very sadly no longer with us. 144 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 3: Matt Coulson, Paul Taylor, not our Poultail or a different 145 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 3: Paul Taylor or who has shockingly similar personality traits, and 146 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 3: also from Northern Ireland. Small world anyway, And so all 147 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 3: these people were in this room, and that one conference 148 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 3: created multiple deals that put us in front of thousands 149 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 3: of people in multiple countries. So you have people in 150 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 3: the room. But a few of those people, you don't 151 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,199 Speaker 3: know the influence. You don't know how you're going to 152 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 3: inspire them. They might become speakers themselves. They might go 153 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 3: out and do something that they never thought of doing before. Right, 154 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,319 Speaker 3: They may go out and become someone they never would 155 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 3: have been before they were sitting in that audience, and 156 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 3: they might impact tens of thousands of people. 157 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 1: So you never know who's sitting in front of you. Well, 158 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: Jesus did all right, I mean it, he started off 159 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: with twelve, didn't he. He's like he bikes. Just gather around. 160 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: They've got some stuff, all right, So God right, got 161 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 1: that me s o g Son of God, lean in, Judas, 162 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: you can lean back, Peter, You're going to come in 163 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: real handy. And they just went, this is good. We 164 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: might go tell others and bibbity bobbedy boo. So that 165 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: seemed to work. That's not the worst model. Not that 166 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: you or I or tif are the Messiah, but we 167 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: could be Messianic in our own little kind of Do 168 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: you like that words of Messianic in our own little 169 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: kind of you know, tunnel? 170 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be that would be a massive disaster. Yeah, 171 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 3: he's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy. That 172 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 3: is that is nothing but chaos and despair, and. 173 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe a little bit hilarity along the way. 174 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: One hundred. I so many times, like I have, well, 175 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: I think not so many times recently because I think 176 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: I'm better at it, but I will put up my 177 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: hand and say by periodically been terrible at reading the room, 178 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: and like both of you, I'm sure at times created 179 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: you know, not chaos globally, but at least with part 180 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: of the audience. But I also remember lots of times 181 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 1: when and we've spoken about this a bit, so I 182 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: won't remember, I won't mention the same specific story, but 183 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: at least twenty times in my life, and this is 184 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 1: over thousands of presentations, but at least twenty times I 185 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 1: was sure that some person in the room hated me, 186 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: because that was the vibe and the energy I was getting. 187 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: They hate me. They can't wait for this to be over. 188 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,719 Speaker 1: They think I'm a fucking idiot or something. So I'm 189 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: up there concentrating on the one, not the ninety nine, 190 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: and I'm telling myself a story, and I'm just struggling 191 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 1: through to try to not completely fuck it up. And 192 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 1: then the one comes and tells me how much they 193 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: loved me or how much they loved it, and you know, 194 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,199 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh god, I have no idea, like sometimes 195 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: especially if someone who's doing what I'm and in research, 196 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: but yeah, that it's so easy to get that. How 197 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: do people see me, experience me, understand me. It's so 198 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: easy to get that wrong because you just misinterpret a 199 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: facial expression and you don't know they could be that 200 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: could be their version of I'm really fucking concentrating, but 201 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: you read it as I'm really fucking mad at you, 202 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 1: you know, or whatever, and then you run with that 203 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: and that becomes your narrative for the next thirty minutes. 204 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,959 Speaker 1: And by the time you finish the thing, you're scared 205 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: to walk to your car because you think they're going 206 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 1: to kill you in the car park. 207 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 3: So you know they may that could happen. You know, 208 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,559 Speaker 3: it's an atlandish thought, but it very well could happen. 209 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 1: Statistically probably not high, not high, but possible. 210 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 3: So you know what I've been thinking about talking about, 211 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 3: like delusion, because we're you're your own multiverseign to yourself, 212 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 3: aren't you. You're living in multiple realities at any given point. 213 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: I mean, they're not. 214 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 3: Actual realities, but perceptually it feels pretty real. And I 215 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,640 Speaker 3: was thinking about the podcast you did with Chris Evans, 216 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 3: not Captain America, the Psychology Chris Evans. 217 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: And I actually got his name wrong. It is Chris, 218 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: but it's not Evans. It's not Evans. It's French. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 219 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: it's very different. That's very different than Evans. But anyway, 220 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 1: he was great, wasn't he. Well, I thought he was great. 221 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: I love that episode. 222 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 3: I love that he's, you know, good mates with Richard Wiseman, 223 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 3: who's absolutely brilliant. 224 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: And something he said caught my attention. It's come up. 225 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 3: It's kind of like what you focus on is what 226 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 3: you notice, and it brought my attention to a healthy 227 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 3: level of delusion. We're all delusional for better or for 228 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 3: worse about something. And I'm not talking about delusions to 229 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 3: the point of megalomania, which is highly destructive to yourself 230 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 3: and others. But there is a healthy level of delusion 231 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 3: that I think is important, not for just like life trajectory, 232 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 3: but for your own sanity, your own mental health. 233 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 1: Give us an example, like, when I think of delusion, 234 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: I think of somebody that's just kind of fucking out 235 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:19,079 Speaker 1: of their mind or they just have a very unhealthy 236 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: version of reality. 237 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 3: Okay, So just the other night, in the middle of 238 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 3: a rainstorm, I'm walking completely naked down the road and 239 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,839 Speaker 3: this corpor. Oh wait, now that's a different story. That's 240 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 3: not the one I wanted to tell anyway. So I'm 241 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 3: driving down the road fully closed, middle of the day, 242 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 3: very very different already, right, stories literally night and day. 243 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 3: And I'm listening to an audio program from one of 244 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 3: my fam my favorite speakers at the time, and I 245 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 3: hear them talk about the Yale Study of nineteen fifty 246 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 3: three where in nineteen fifty three they did study where 247 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 3: they got the entire graduating cloud of Yale University and 248 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 3: they asked them one specific question, how many of you 249 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,079 Speaker 3: have clearly defined goals and written plans for their achievement? 250 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 3: And they followed these people over a span of twenty years. 251 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 3: Nineteen seventy three, they interviewed the surviving. You know, not 252 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 3: a couple of people died tragic accidents, unlikely, possible, and 253 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 3: they basically tracked them. And what they found that in 254 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 3: nineteen fifty three, only three percent of the graduating class 255 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 3: of Yale had clearly defined goals and written plans for 256 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 3: their achievement, which I kind of thought, stay with me, 257 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 3: was a little bit odd that you would go to 258 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 3: an Ivy League school and not have a clear goal 259 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 3: about where you're going in life. But that's what they found. 260 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 3: And in nineteen seventy three, twenty years later, what they 261 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 3: discovered was the three percent that had clearly defined, written 262 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 3: goals were earning more than the other ninety seven percent combined. Yeah, 263 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 3: and then in another audio program, I was listening to 264 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 3: the Harvard study which pretty much did the same thing, 265 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 3: and they had very similar findings. Now, the problem with 266 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 3: that is neither of those studies ever took place. 267 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 1: It's an urban legend. 268 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 3: Yale or Harvard have no record of any of that 269 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 3: research ever being done. And that was exposed in a 270 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 3: Fast Company article by Lawrence Taybeck. And what's interesting about 271 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 3: that is I didn't know that that was false, and 272 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 3: I thought, wow, So all you really need to do 273 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 3: is have a clearly defined goal and have detailed plans 274 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 3: for the achievement of that goal, and being willing to 275 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 3: work really hard and put in the effort. And it's 276 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 3: not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. 277 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,760 Speaker 3: Look at these two studies, and I went from being 278 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 3: this kid with brain damage, no real impressive educational background 279 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 3: to achieving the top goals on my life in just 280 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,239 Speaker 3: a few years. And I was basing that on a delusion. 281 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 3: It was a completely delusional belief. But like we've talked 282 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 3: about Tiff and I manifesting, like what does it mean? 283 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 1: Was it not mean? 284 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 3: And say every time something would happen that would get 285 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 3: in the way of my trajectory, I just thought, oh, well, I'm. 286 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 1: Learning from this. 287 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 3: I could adapt, I can learn new skills. I never 288 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 3: for a second took it as oh, well, maybe I'm 289 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 3: not cut out for this, because I thought, I'm amazing 290 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 3: at this. If anybody else can do it, I can 291 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 3: do it. And you know, this is just math. Look 292 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 3: at the studies, complete bullshit. But that healthy dose of 293 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 3: delusion served me really well until I was as company 294 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 3: it is. 295 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 1: That is a great story and a great explanation. Thank you, 296 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: It really is. And it's a it's kind of a 297 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: plus a boat. It's almost like a career plus a 298 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 1: boat because you believe, if I'm taking this pill of 299 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: goals and structure and process and timeline, and I keep 300 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,400 Speaker 1: taking this pill, then this will be the outcome. 301 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 3: Well yeah, yeah, so and it was even because of that, 302 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 3: I had a major setback. So this I had just 303 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,199 Speaker 3: been I had just left the military. And when I 304 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 3: say left the military, I had just been asked to 305 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 3: leave the military because of Tourette's. So and I got 306 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 3: out and I had no job, and a friend of 307 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 3: mine said, you know, I've got this perfect position. 308 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 1: It pays exceedingly well. 309 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 3: And it was this really high profile CEO, and so 310 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 3: like I didn't have a call to drive out to 311 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 3: this place. I spent hours on a bus getting out 312 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 3: to this guy. Finally made it over there, sat down 313 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 3: in the interview and he was asking me a little 314 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 3: bit about my life goals. And I had on me 315 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 3: my briefcase and in there I had like ten pages 316 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 3: of written out plans. He took a look at my 317 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,479 Speaker 3: goals and the plans and the strategies. I looked up 318 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 3: and he said, there's no way I'm going to hire you. 319 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: This is just not the job for. 320 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 3: You, because you are so clear on what it is 321 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 3: you want. Nah, you shouldn't be working for anybody else 322 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 3: right now. 323 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,400 Speaker 1: You should be focusing on. 324 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 3: Making this happen, and I was like dead broke, Like 325 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,360 Speaker 3: I had just about enough money to get home that day, 326 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 3: buy myself a cup of coffee. And Tuesdays were my 327 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 3: favorite days because it was ninety nine cent whopper day, 328 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 3: so for a dollar ninety eight I could buy two whoppers. 329 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 3: I didn't have to eat for another twenty four hours. 330 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 3: So I was in dire straits and losing that job 331 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:42,880 Speaker 3: for me, I was like, oh my god, this is 332 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 3: this is perfect evidence. He said I'm doing so well 333 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 3: with this goal setting thing, He's not even going. 334 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 1: To hire me. 335 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 3: And so like this epic failure somebody needed desperately inspired 336 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 3: me somebody, and all of these failures where like nothing 337 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 3: was going my way, I misinterpreted that evidence. 338 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,959 Speaker 1: I was completely on the right track. How old were 339 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 1: you at this How old were you at this stage, 340 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: very early twenties. Yeah, when you said you got kicked 341 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,120 Speaker 1: out of the military for having turettes, I just pickeded 342 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: you walking around the yard with your with your rifle 343 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: above your head gun, fucked the enemy, fucked the enemy, 344 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 1: you know something like that. That would have been right. 345 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,360 Speaker 1: That's I don't know that that doesn't really. 346 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:31,959 Speaker 3: Work very well, I'm standing I'm standing at GQ in 347 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,119 Speaker 3: General Quarters. Everybody silent and attention, and I'm just go 348 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 3: shitt know that, Yeah that that that kind of stuff 349 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 3: doesn't work. That wasn't my issue in the military. It 350 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,960 Speaker 3: was that my rate was Corman. I was in the Navy, 351 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 3: so Corman's kind of like a medic, and there's just 352 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,199 Speaker 3: so much attention to detail, Like if you put a 353 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 3: tourniquet on somebody, you've got to write that time, like 354 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,520 Speaker 3: somewhere visible on their body, like their forehead, so people 355 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 3: know when that tourniquet needs to be removed or you're 356 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 3: going to cross somebody their limbs. 357 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 1: It was like you are a walking liability. Really why yeah? 358 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 1: Why why? Because with touretts you have lack of impulsivity. 359 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:19,600 Speaker 3: Obsessive compulsive disorder comes along with that very serious ADHD. 360 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: Would you said lack of impulsivity, I would say you 361 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: would be lack of impulse control, like increased impulsivity. Yeah. Sorry, 362 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: I'm a little. 363 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 3: Bit a little bit foggy today, but yeah, So there's 364 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,239 Speaker 3: a whole suite of symptoms that come with turettes that 365 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 3: are just not ideal when you need to be like 366 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,400 Speaker 3: highly focused for a long period of time with extreme 367 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 3: attention to detail, which is what was required at my rate, 368 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 3: and like, yeah, you're you're out. 369 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 1: So what a grid idea that you become a spiker 370 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: who stands in front of audiences and needs to be 371 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 1: calm and clear and articulate and make sense and not 372 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:03,159 Speaker 1: lose your shits and be assessed by five hundred people 373 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:07,919 Speaker 1: in a moment that doesn't seem naturally. You've seen me 374 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:13,400 Speaker 1: present to an audience before you of these things. No 375 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: you no, no, no, you're very good. But you know, 376 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: the funny thing with you is, and this is a compliment. Yeah, 377 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,399 Speaker 1: you can be scatty as fuck and then get on 378 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: stage and you're the opposite. It's like you're just a bit, 379 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: or you can be just a bit. You know, all 380 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 1: the things that you are, you know, a bit distracted, 381 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: a bit, a bit caught up in the moment, or 382 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 1: a bit worried, or a bit anxious or a bit 383 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,359 Speaker 1: and then you get called out and you go out. 384 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: And usually nearly every time I've seen you, especially the 385 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: time where I flew you out and you did some 386 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: work for me or work with me, I should say, 387 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 1: at one of my weekends yeah, where you. Yeah, every 388 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: time you were just you would get into flow pretty 389 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,080 Speaker 1: quickly and you're just in state, and everybody knew you 390 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: by that. You know, there's one hundred and thirty people 391 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: on the weekend, and by the end of the first 392 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 1: night everyone knew you. By the second day, everybody was 393 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,640 Speaker 1: chatting to you and you were chatting everyone else. And yeah, 394 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 1: like you just really have this capacity to turn on 395 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 1: that switch whatever it is. 396 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 3: Well, that environment is the perfect environment for someone with 397 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 3: TARATS because when you are focused single mindedly on something 398 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 3: that you were interested in, and that's combined with physicality, 399 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 3: like exerting physical effort and like you now, it feels 400 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 3: like you're around a marathon at the end of training day, 401 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 3: you're putting out a lot of energy. It's the perfect 402 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,400 Speaker 3: environment to bring your brain online when you have TUATS. 403 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 3: So sitting down and doing a spreadsheet is horrible. Standing 404 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 3: on stage a lot more conducive. 405 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. So Tiff, like in the you've 406 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: been doing getting in front of audiences for a while, 407 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: but in the last year, especially if focused, I would 408 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,680 Speaker 1: say almost on a professional level, your primary focus has 409 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 1: been building that developing skills. You know, figuring out what 410 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: you're going to talk about and not talk about, and 411 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: building connection and rapport and brand and like what have 412 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,120 Speaker 1: you learned? Like what are you better at now than 413 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: say three years ago, or what did you need to 414 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: learn and perhaps unlearn from a perspective of connecting with 415 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: an audience, whether it's three or three hundred. 416 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 2: Maybe a different or a better view of the container 417 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 2: of what I'm presenting my content, what and how I'm 418 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 2: presenting content. 419 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: Okay, I think, yeah. 420 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 2: Having a better plan around that, having a better idea 421 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,480 Speaker 2: of how to communicate it, what to link it to, 422 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 2: just all that, I think, Yeah, I think maybe an 423 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 2: outside view of that of how I am experienced. 424 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: Because initially I. 425 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 2: Have been walking into rooms where I am already known, 426 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 2: already have relationships and I know or I am speaking 427 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 2: to a particular theme in regards to that. And then 428 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,920 Speaker 2: when you work more in the professional space, you're stepping 429 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 2: out with your own content to rooms that you have 430 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 2: not yet developed any rapport with. So I think it 431 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,159 Speaker 2: takes there's a lot more to be aware of. 432 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: Yes, it's a lot called that. We call that a 433 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 1: warm room and a cold room. 434 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just said that, wouldn't it yeah, yeah, yeah. 435 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: So when I go into a warm room, I could 436 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 1: take a dump on stage and people be like, oh, look, 437 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,520 Speaker 1: how well is shits? That's fucking amazing. Yes, I'll buy 438 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:59,239 Speaker 1: three books. Right of course, I'm exaggerating, And just if 439 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 1: you're coming to a fewre event, I probably won't do that. 440 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: But in it like a corporate cold audience, especially a 441 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 1: big group like a conference where it's a bunch of 442 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: businesses and you're speaking to lots of people in a 443 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: big room and four people know you, or you know, 444 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 1: like less than one percent maybe of the audience know you. 445 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 1: Oh yeah you. It is just a completely different energy 446 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 1: and you have to do all of this work to 447 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 1: begin to get to the point that you have instantly 448 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: with a warm audience, you know, to get that energy 449 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,160 Speaker 1: and that rapport and that trust and that respect. Because 450 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: I'm just a six year old, you know, fucking buffhead 451 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 1: with a shaved head on stage, and you know, it's like, 452 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,360 Speaker 1: I don't if I saw me walking up, I'd be like, yeah, 453 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. Let's see, let's see. 454 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 2: What do you need to know about me in order 455 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 2: for me to speak on this the way I want 456 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 2: to speak about it. People are going to need to 457 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 2: know things about me because they don't already know me. 458 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, that's that's so true. What about you 459 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: with a cold audience, Bobby, or a warm audience? Uh yeah. 460 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:14,119 Speaker 3: Traditionally I would say it doesn't it didn't make a 461 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 3: difference for me because you said it did not or 462 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 3: it did did not make a difference. I didn't care, 463 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,719 Speaker 3: like I was just happy to be, you know, speaking 464 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 3: in front of an audience, and a lot of times 465 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,400 Speaker 3: a cold audience, it's it's brand new because there's always 466 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 3: this communication between you and the audience, even if even 467 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 3: if the audience is not speaking, they're just sitting there silently, 468 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 3: they're communicating and you feel it, Like you talk about 469 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 3: that all the time now, sometimes you misread the communication 470 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,000 Speaker 3: like Okay, these people think I'm a complete muppet and 471 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 3: they're just loving it. But there is communication happening there. 472 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,160 Speaker 3: One of the best speakers I have ever worked with 473 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,199 Speaker 3: is a guy in the name of You probably know 474 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,639 Speaker 3: this guy, Tom Plumber, Thomas Plumber and the health and 475 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 3: Fitness industring. 476 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,320 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't know him personally, 477 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 1: but I know who he is. Yep. 478 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 3: Like there was a rumor going around that Tom's like 479 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 3: a vampire, Like well into his sixties, he would be 480 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 3: up all night entertaining students, entertaining participants, Like he'd go 481 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 3: to bed at two o'clock in the morning, he'd wake 482 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,199 Speaker 3: up at five am, go for a run, get on 483 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 3: stage first thing in the morning, be on stage all day, 484 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 3: and just mesmerize people. 485 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: And he was saying once that you know. 486 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 3: He has this belief I am the best, Like I 487 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 3: am the best speaker in my space. Now is that delusional? 488 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 3: I mean maybe, like how would you even determine who's 489 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 3: the best? Like what would be what would be the 490 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,360 Speaker 3: method of evaluation for that? 491 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: And there's always someone better for you, better than you. 492 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,560 Speaker 3: But he is extraordinarily good at what he does because 493 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 3: it's that belief system that he has that allows him 494 00:27:55,560 --> 00:28:01,200 Speaker 3: to bring all of himself, with no hesitation, no insecurity whatsoever, 495 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,879 Speaker 3: into the front room and that really connects with people. 496 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,360 Speaker 1: And then the irony. 497 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 3: Is because he so holds that belief it's not about him. 498 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:15,040 Speaker 3: He's lost in himself and disappears within a few minutes. 499 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 3: He is totally connected to that audience, and it's that 500 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 3: belief system that's the connector and if he walks into 501 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 3: an audience and you know, he's not creating that effect 502 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 3: in a room. Him believing that he is the best, 503 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 3: he's able to be resilient and adapt to that, you know. 504 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 1: Relatively quickly. 505 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 3: So it goes back to that what is a healthy 506 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 3: like what do you believe about yourself? 507 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:42,240 Speaker 1: That's something that's dawning on me increasingly. That's a really 508 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 1: interesting thing that that what you just did push so 509 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 1: many buttons in me, good and bad. Well not good 510 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 1: and bad. But just like if I thought in my 511 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 1: field I was the best speaker in Australia, which, for 512 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 1: everyone's clarity, I do not, right, I for sure would 513 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 1: not say that. I yeah, I just think which he 514 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,480 Speaker 1: does it and it seems to be working for him, 515 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 1: and that's cool. I feel like in Australia, if you 516 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 1: went I am the best in Australia at what I do, 517 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 1: I think more people would disrespect you than respect you 518 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 1: and think you're a narcissist. Which I'm not saying. I'm 519 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 1: not saying he shouldn't do that. 520 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 3: I reason, but here's here's something that here's something that 521 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 3: has happened to me in my journey. First of all, 522 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 3: like Tom was sharing that with me. He doesn't get 523 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:41,320 Speaker 3: up in front of an audience say I am the best, 524 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 3: different he is the best, or it's about him. He 525 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,480 Speaker 3: just understands that there is an internal priming and a 526 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:53,960 Speaker 3: belief about who you are that essentuates all of your 527 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 3: attributes and gets all of the background noise and just 528 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 3: and insecurities out of the way, because that's a veiled. 529 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 3: So imagine you've got your audience in front of you, 530 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 3: You're standing on stage, every thought that you have about you, 531 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,400 Speaker 3: Oh my god, do they like me? Is this audience 532 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 3: did that joke? 533 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 1: Land? Am I getting accepted? What are the evls like? 534 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:22,640 Speaker 3: All that shit is thickening that veil. You got to 535 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,480 Speaker 3: find a way to remove that veil. And I used 536 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 3: to get up in front of audiences, and I believe 537 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 3: that I was very, very good because I believe that 538 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:37,400 Speaker 3: nothing was coming from me, like it wasn't my talent 539 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 3: or my ability. I felt that I was so committed 540 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 3: and passionate about what I was doing that I was 541 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 3: in antenna. I was just transmitting and as long as 542 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 3: as long as that channel was open, somebody in that 543 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,680 Speaker 3: room was going to be profoundly impacted. Not by what 544 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 3: I had to say, but by the environment I created 545 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 3: and the insights that emerge from my mouth and inside 546 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 3: the minds of the people in front of me, and 547 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 3: then I'm very much of that mindset where I could 548 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 3: spoil it's nothing of this is about you. You know, 549 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 3: you're not the best, You're not this. Just get up there, 550 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 3: do your job. You know, don't like, don't read your 551 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:24,200 Speaker 3: own headlines. And sometimes what's really weird is it decreased 552 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 3: my connection to the audience because. 553 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,240 Speaker 1: I would walk out. 554 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:33,959 Speaker 3: I would be walking toward the stage thinking something along 555 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 3: the lines of Okay, here I am, and that would 556 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 3: remove all of that internal noise, so that the second 557 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 3: I got on the stage, that shift went from here 558 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 3: I am to looking at my audience and going, oh, wow, 559 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 3: there you are. And that is where I believe you 560 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 3: need to be. And it's about like, what do you 561 00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 3: believe about your ability? It's not it's not thinking you're 562 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 3: better than anyone else you're or you're worth more, or 563 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 3: what you have to say is more important. It's about 564 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 3: what do I have to do to kind of increase 565 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 3: this connection to where I can disappear and just completely 566 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,080 Speaker 3: trust the process. 567 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, uh yeah, I think I understand that, and I 568 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 1: think I don't know that that's going to work for 569 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 1: the average punt to though, who's trying to figure out 570 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 1: what the fuck am I talking about? How long have 571 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,720 Speaker 1: I got to go? Have I covered this yet? Have 572 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: I covered that? Like I think for a lot of 573 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 1: people who are not where you are, which is at 574 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: a high level that you know, just becoming an antenna 575 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 1: or a conduit and it's not coming from me, it's 576 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,240 Speaker 1: coming through me and all that. I understand that because 577 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 1: I have the same experience at times where I feel 578 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,000 Speaker 1: like this is happening despite me, not because of me. 579 00:32:56,040 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 1: But I don't know that that is like you can't 580 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 1: teach people to be that or do that because you 581 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: have a lot of people getting up who lack confidence, 582 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: lack skill like experience, lack stage presence, lack situational awareness. 583 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,240 Speaker 1: They have all of these things going on, so they're 584 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: just you know, trying to figure it out in real time. 585 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 1: And I think the like, how do we build rapport, connection, trust, 586 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,960 Speaker 1: deliver a good presentation, make a difference, you know, connect 587 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,760 Speaker 1: amazingly with the one percent or the five percent. I 588 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 1: just think that there's so many ingredients in that recipe 589 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: that what you're what you're saying is true, and also 590 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 1: in other news it's not true for these people, perhaps 591 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. 592 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,520 Speaker 3: And in my mind, that's all the more reason why 593 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 3: it's important because then their structure, there's how do you 594 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,960 Speaker 3: go out and research the information? How do you put 595 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,720 Speaker 3: it together in a framework that makes sense when. 596 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: You deliver that? How do you make why how do 597 00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 1: you test. 598 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 3: To understand whether or not you're audience isn't even getting 599 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:05,280 Speaker 3: the point? So there's all this stuff around building content, 600 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,360 Speaker 3: and then there's all this stuff around how you deliver content. 601 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 1: And if you're thinking about all of these. 602 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 3: Things when you're trying to like organize all this information 603 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,720 Speaker 3: in your head, you're gonna choke. It's just too much. 604 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,360 Speaker 3: So there's one why am I here? What am I 605 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:23,360 Speaker 3: looking to give? 606 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:28,560 Speaker 1: Right? Two? What's the objective? Like when I step on 607 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:29,280 Speaker 1: on that stage? 608 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 2: Like? 609 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,520 Speaker 1: Am I here to have fun? Am I here just 610 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:33,480 Speaker 1: to shit? Think about like. 611 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 3: Your best date you've ever had where you couldn't say 612 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 3: the wrong thing and the two of you were really laughing. 613 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 1: It's like, oh my god, where have you been all 614 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:41,120 Speaker 1: my life? 615 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 3: You didn't come in there with a ten point plan 616 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 3: like okay, this is my this is my plan and 617 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 3: my framework for a perfect date. And you weren't antenna. 618 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,400 Speaker 3: It wasn't coming from you. Was it was flowing through you. 619 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 3: Everything you have learned, every interaction you ever had, you 620 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:03,560 Speaker 3: weren't in in the way. And that's the problem. How 621 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,400 Speaker 3: do you get yourself out of the way is just 622 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 3: as important as how do you develop the skill sets 623 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 3: so that you deliver something of value. All that stuff 624 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 3: needs to be done off the stage, and I have 625 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,799 Speaker 3: to bring all that stuff on the stage with you 626 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:18,399 Speaker 3: all the time. 627 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 1: I think the juxtaposition is that, you know, on the 628 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 1: one hand, you want to be in flow, you want 629 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 1: to be authentic, you want to read the room, you 630 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 1: want to kind of just go where you go. But also, 631 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:36,799 Speaker 1: you know, we're we're taught at when you know, young 632 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 1: ish or young ish in the the kind of the 633 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:45,920 Speaker 1: space speakers are taught about structure and you know, come 634 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: up with five key messages, build on this, do that, 635 00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 1: do that, you know, which is all very cognitive, right, 636 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,840 Speaker 1: But then when I'm at my best, I'm less cognitive, 637 00:35:55,920 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 1: more creative. Yeah, you know, I'm more, I'm more and instinctive, 638 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,480 Speaker 1: but building a framework and building a process and a 639 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:08,719 Speaker 1: timeline and kind of a plan is the opposite of 640 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: being in flow. It's the opposite of, you know, of creativity. 641 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,480 Speaker 1: So I think it's that. And again I don't think 642 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 1: it's all about one or the other. It's that convergence 643 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,840 Speaker 1: of brain stuff and creative stuff left right brain. You know, 644 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,040 Speaker 1: it's definitely both or storytelling. 645 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,719 Speaker 3: I kind of feel like that both of that, the 646 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:33,360 Speaker 3: both of those domains are mutually dependent upon one another. 647 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 3: Like I've got to go through the structuring and that 648 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:42,360 Speaker 3: framework and that process, like cognitive process of organizing a 649 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:47,600 Speaker 3: talk and practice that enough in a relatively safe, but 650 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 3: you know, hopefully a little bit intimidating of an environment, so. 651 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 1: I can let that shit go. 652 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 3: Like if I want to get really good at skiing, 653 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,440 Speaker 3: I'm going to work with the ski instructor of ski coach. 654 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:04,719 Speaker 3: Hopefully that individual understands a lot about human biomechanics and 655 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 3: aerodynamics and they're going to pass that information onto me. 656 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:09,919 Speaker 1: And there is a. 657 00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 3: Very specific way I need to stand and hinge my 658 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,760 Speaker 3: hips and all that stuff. I don't know, I'm that scared, 659 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,040 Speaker 3: But when I'm on that black double diamond, I hope. 660 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 3: I'm not thinking about all that stuff because I'm going 661 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,120 Speaker 3: to die. I just I have to use all the 662 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:26,239 Speaker 3: stuff that I've trained for. 663 00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:31,239 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Unfortunately, I've got to pull the pin because 664 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to go and talk to some people. Tiff, 665 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 1: is there anything that you'd like to enlighten us with 666 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,040 Speaker 1: before we go? Any words of wisdom guidance for either Robert, myself, 667 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 1: the listeners. I mean, no pressure, but if you could 668 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:44,840 Speaker 1: share one gem, that'd be great. 669 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,359 Speaker 2: There's one gym slip slop slap herbs. 670 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,480 Speaker 1: Okay, slip slop slap. I will remember that I'm in 671 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,680 Speaker 1: the car, not on a motorbike, so I should be okay, Bobby, 672 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 1: tell people where they can find you, and by that, 673 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 1: I'm in electronically, not physically. I'm on the corner of 674 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: K streets. 675 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:07,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, don't know what I'm talking about. 676 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:13,000 Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram. Come find me on Instagram. I like Instagram. Also, 677 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:17,279 Speaker 1: you have a podcast, I do. I do think I 678 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:21,240 Speaker 1: knew that. So yeah, I've got a fucking pull teeth. 679 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,840 Speaker 3: I got it and it's called the Self Help bandidote 680 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 3: and I have a website called the Self hel band 681 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,960 Speaker 3: todote dot com. 682 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 1: And how ironic that you can't help yourself when I 683 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,640 Speaker 1: give you an opportunity to do so. At the end 684 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:39,319 Speaker 1: of the podcast, you fuck an idiot. We need most Yeah, 685 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 1: but you're my idiot. 686 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,319 Speaker 3: I love you, and it's a self help antidote, so 687 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,920 Speaker 3: basically I'm right on target. 688 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:53,440 Speaker 1: That's it for the antithesis of helping oneself. Love you, mate, Tiffany, 689 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:57,800 Speaker 1: and cook your ace. Thank you, will see you next time. Everyone,