1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. 2 00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:12,601 Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. 3 00:00:12,681 --> 00:00:14,081 Speaker 1: I'm Ashley and I'm Tiana. 4 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 3: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 5 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 3: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 6 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,281 Speaker 1: We'd help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 7 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 8 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 9 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,761 Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self. 10 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, Welcome back to She Rises. So excited to 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,961 Speaker 1: be here. Today's a very interesting episode and we've got 12 00:00:37,001 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: a bit of a different take on it. 13 00:00:38,801 --> 00:00:39,561 Speaker 2: We're going to talk. 14 00:00:39,441 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: About what it is, and then we're going to actually 15 00:00:41,161 --> 00:00:44,681 Speaker 1: break down things that have been said to us, which 16 00:00:44,681 --> 00:00:45,321 Speaker 1: is going to be cool. 17 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,121 Speaker 3: Get your popcorn. 18 00:00:46,161 --> 00:00:47,001 Speaker 2: Get your popcorn. 19 00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:50,961 Speaker 3: It's all about projections, Yes, essentially what people have projected 20 00:00:50,961 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 3: on to us in the past, which have been really interesting. Now, 21 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,961 Speaker 3: some of you might be able to resonate with a 22 00:00:54,961 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 3: few of these projections and maybe have felt this in 23 00:00:57,961 --> 00:01:01,481 Speaker 3: the past from people around you who maybe have done 24 00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,801 Speaker 3: this to you. Yeah, so let's break it down. What 25 00:01:04,081 --> 00:01:06,921 Speaker 3: is a projection? In simple terms, this is my belief, 26 00:01:06,961 --> 00:01:10,601 Speaker 3: at least in my opinion, a projection is essentially something 27 00:01:10,721 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 3: that you are thinking, feeling, or a belief that you 28 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,641 Speaker 3: have that you are projecting onto someone else as if 29 00:01:17,681 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 3: it's their own. Now, just for a quick example, the 30 00:01:20,601 --> 00:01:24,441 Speaker 3: easiest one to be able to understand is projecting what 31 00:01:24,441 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 3: somebody else is thinking. So let's say, for example, you 32 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 3: meet somebody in the gym and you're having a conversation 33 00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:33,521 Speaker 3: and automatically your mind goes, oh, oh my god, are 34 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,521 Speaker 3: they thinking about what my hair looks like right now? 35 00:01:36,521 --> 00:01:40,481 Speaker 3: That is a projection of what you are thinking about yourself. 36 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 2: Oh yes, So. 37 00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:46,121 Speaker 3: We automatically put out what we're thinking, our thoughts, our feelings, 38 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,401 Speaker 3: our beliefs about ourselves onto the other person as if 39 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,641 Speaker 3: it's their own, and then we freak out as if 40 00:01:51,681 --> 00:01:54,721 Speaker 3: it's true. Yeah, because in the moment it feels so 41 00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:58,761 Speaker 3: very true that we take it for truth, and then 42 00:01:58,801 --> 00:02:01,201 Speaker 3: we automatically get to push that person away. 43 00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:01,921 Speaker 1: Yeah. 44 00:02:01,961 --> 00:02:02,481 Speaker 3: Wow. 45 00:02:03,161 --> 00:02:05,721 Speaker 1: It's very interesting in the online world too, because it's 46 00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,601 Speaker 1: such an easy way for people to try and get 47 00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:11,481 Speaker 1: it out of their body and the spotlight off them 48 00:02:11,521 --> 00:02:14,281 Speaker 1: and put onto someone else. And it can be everything 49 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:17,081 Speaker 1: from oh they're so disgusting and cringe, or how much 50 00:02:17,081 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 1: they're kissing what a gross looking couple. Is that actually 51 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,801 Speaker 1: something that you're wanting? Or that person's being braddy and 52 00:02:22,841 --> 00:02:26,841 Speaker 1: showing off her amazing body. Hmm, that's a projection. Maybe 53 00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,241 Speaker 1: you're actually wanting to work on your body. It's almost 54 00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 1: like a shiny mirror back as to what is coming 55 00:02:32,601 --> 00:02:33,121 Speaker 1: up for you. 56 00:02:33,401 --> 00:02:36,401 Speaker 3: Yes, almost like maybe there's this woman that you follow 57 00:02:36,441 --> 00:02:39,321 Speaker 3: on Instagram and she's very sexually embodied, right, and she 58 00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 3: maybe loves to dance on her social media stories, and 59 00:02:43,401 --> 00:02:45,081 Speaker 3: a part of you is like, why the fuck is 60 00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:45,601 Speaker 3: she doing that? 61 00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: Why does she feel the need to put that out 62 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,761 Speaker 1: for everyone to see. I would never do that, yes. 63 00:02:49,361 --> 00:02:51,601 Speaker 3: That I would never do that, And like why would 64 00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:54,481 Speaker 3: I objectify myself? I don't need to do that. That 65 00:02:54,761 --> 00:02:57,361 Speaker 3: is a part within yourself that you are not giving 66 00:02:57,401 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 3: yourself permission to experience. 67 00:02:59,761 --> 00:03:01,361 Speaker 2: Yourself so beautifully put. 68 00:03:01,721 --> 00:03:04,321 Speaker 3: Yeahha, And it's a really challenging thing. It's a really 69 00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:07,401 Speaker 3: icky feeling. But what we get to do when it 70 00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:10,081 Speaker 3: comes to projections, right, because there's two things that we do, right, 71 00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:13,321 Speaker 3: there's projections and then there's a trigger that comes after 72 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:14,841 Speaker 3: most people. 73 00:03:14,721 --> 00:03:18,441 Speaker 2: What fun sounds like a good time, What. 74 00:03:18,361 --> 00:03:20,881 Speaker 3: Happens is most people they get triggered by something and 75 00:03:20,921 --> 00:03:23,441 Speaker 3: then they project They feel the trigger, which is, oh, 76 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 3: I would never do that, and then they project it 77 00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:27,401 Speaker 3: onto the other person and they make it about the 78 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,481 Speaker 3: other person instead of looking at where can I take 79 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,001 Speaker 3: responsibility for this myself? 80 00:03:32,001 --> 00:03:32,801 Speaker 2: Why is it triggered me? 81 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,001 Speaker 3: Why is it triggered I feel when she does that? 82 00:03:35,201 --> 00:03:35,641 Speaker 1: Exactly? 83 00:03:35,681 --> 00:03:37,761 Speaker 3: Why is this coming up for me? What is this 84 00:03:37,841 --> 00:03:39,881 Speaker 3: showing and teaching me about myself? 85 00:03:40,361 --> 00:03:40,521 Speaker 2: Right? 86 00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:43,521 Speaker 3: What we get to do is we get to acknowledge 87 00:03:43,521 --> 00:03:46,841 Speaker 3: the trigger and put time and space between the trigger 88 00:03:47,241 --> 00:03:47,921 Speaker 3: and the projection. 89 00:03:48,881 --> 00:03:50,001 Speaker 2: It's a freaking skill. 90 00:03:50,161 --> 00:03:52,761 Speaker 3: It takes time and effort, but not as hard as 91 00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:55,001 Speaker 3: you think when you can just be willing to let 92 00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:57,681 Speaker 3: it all in love, because it takes a whole lot 93 00:03:57,681 --> 00:04:00,641 Speaker 3: of level of responsibility. Doesn't because it's easy to project, 94 00:04:00,681 --> 00:04:02,081 Speaker 3: it's easy to go I would never do that. I 95 00:04:02,081 --> 00:04:03,921 Speaker 3: would never behave that way. Oh my god, why is 96 00:04:03,961 --> 00:04:06,841 Speaker 3: that person fucking doing that? Instead of looking at what's 97 00:04:06,841 --> 00:04:09,601 Speaker 3: coming up within me? Why am I thinking and feeling this? 98 00:04:10,081 --> 00:04:13,281 Speaker 3: What about myself? Am I actually rejecting within myself? So 99 00:04:13,401 --> 00:04:15,401 Speaker 3: this is why today's episode it's all about that. 100 00:04:15,601 --> 00:04:16,161 Speaker 2: I love it. 101 00:04:16,801 --> 00:04:18,681 Speaker 1: Even the sexual comment about a woman being on her 102 00:04:18,681 --> 00:04:21,361 Speaker 1: Instagram page. When I was doing heels dancing. I had 103 00:04:21,401 --> 00:04:24,961 Speaker 1: a really cool conversation with a woman who swiped up 104 00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: and said, like, this is disgusting. You should be posting 105 00:04:27,521 --> 00:04:29,241 Speaker 1: this kind of dancing. This is only meant to be 106 00:04:29,281 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: for your husband. I would never wear that, I would 107 00:04:31,761 --> 00:04:34,041 Speaker 1: never do that. Why do you need to dance like that? 108 00:04:34,961 --> 00:04:38,561 Speaker 1: So many projections in one And I remember responding to 109 00:04:38,641 --> 00:04:40,721 Speaker 1: her through voice and I can't remember exactly what I 110 00:04:40,761 --> 00:04:42,521 Speaker 1: said it, but it would have been something along the 111 00:04:42,561 --> 00:04:46,481 Speaker 1: lines of where along the way have you been shamed 112 00:04:46,841 --> 00:04:51,721 Speaker 1: for expressing your sexuality and your true sexual self? And 113 00:04:51,761 --> 00:04:55,561 Speaker 1: she was awesome. I was expecting a white back, but 114 00:04:55,641 --> 00:04:57,241 Speaker 1: I just wanted to test the waders and see if 115 00:04:57,241 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: I could open her mind up and see if she 116 00:04:58,961 --> 00:05:00,881 Speaker 1: could reflect on what came up for her in that moment, 117 00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:02,161 Speaker 1: because it was nothing to do about the way I 118 00:05:02,281 --> 00:05:05,001 Speaker 1: danced or what I wore yah or my facial expression, 119 00:05:05,281 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: all the music or anything. It was her stuff. Now 120 00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: we had there's like a half an hour back and 121 00:05:09,401 --> 00:05:12,521 Speaker 1: forth conversation. She was like, well, my Mum's always said 122 00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:14,281 Speaker 1: if I wear something short and tight, then I'm a 123 00:05:14,361 --> 00:05:16,401 Speaker 1: slut and I'm drawing attention for the wrong reasons and 124 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,521 Speaker 1: I should be respectful. Just all this stuff came out 125 00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: for her, and in the end she was like, oh 126 00:05:21,481 --> 00:05:22,561 Speaker 1: my gosh, I think I need a book in a 127 00:05:22,641 --> 00:05:23,361 Speaker 1: heels class. 128 00:05:23,961 --> 00:05:25,841 Speaker 2: I was like, yes, you do, And even if you 129 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:26,241 Speaker 2: don't go. 130 00:05:26,161 --> 00:05:29,121 Speaker 1: To all class, do it at home. Move your body 131 00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: in a more sexual quote unquote slutty way, drop and 132 00:05:32,801 --> 00:05:35,681 Speaker 1: spread your legs. Whatever you need to do, but explore 133 00:05:35,761 --> 00:05:39,481 Speaker 1: that and like, experience the shame come up, let it 134 00:05:39,561 --> 00:05:41,601 Speaker 1: sit there, let it be there, and then love on 135 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:44,761 Speaker 1: it and move through it. It was the most coolest conversation. 136 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: I just loved how you brought that up because it 137 00:05:46,401 --> 00:05:49,041 Speaker 1: just resparked my memory of I get that projection when 138 00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:49,721 Speaker 1: I post. 139 00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:50,601 Speaker 2: My dancing videos. 140 00:05:50,401 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 3: That's incredible. 141 00:05:51,361 --> 00:05:53,841 Speaker 1: And when I first saw Misha dancing. Misha owns the 142 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,281 Speaker 1: studio on the Gold Coast, and we first started going 143 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: to her when she wasn't as big as what she 144 00:05:57,841 --> 00:06:00,801 Speaker 1: is now, and I remember seeing her dance on socials 145 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: and I felt something. It wasn't a negative thing, but 146 00:06:04,121 --> 00:06:06,561 Speaker 1: I remember it was probably jealousy that I couldn't move 147 00:06:06,641 --> 00:06:08,801 Speaker 1: like that. But I remember thinking, oh, does she really 148 00:06:08,841 --> 00:06:10,681 Speaker 1: need to post all of those dancing videos, there would 149 00:06:10,721 --> 00:06:13,641 Speaker 1: have been something there. But I caught myself very quickly 150 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,561 Speaker 1: because I was like, I would love to be that 151 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: confident to post those videos, and I caught it straight away, 152 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,280 Speaker 1: and then I just wanted to lean into her more. 153 00:06:21,561 --> 00:06:24,281 Speaker 1: And I'd love getting to know Mesha and learn about 154 00:06:24,281 --> 00:06:26,041 Speaker 1: her confidence and what it's done for her to be 155 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,161 Speaker 1: able to move like that and express like that and 156 00:06:28,641 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: be into it with her partner like that. 157 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,081 Speaker 2: And I've just found it so. 158 00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: Inspiring and empowering. So now I want to leave with that. 159 00:06:34,801 --> 00:06:36,961 Speaker 1: When I post my dancing videos, it's more like that's 160 00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,881 Speaker 1: why I post them. Yeah, I kind of hope those 161 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,041 Speaker 1: comments come in. I invite them in so that I 162 00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: can invite that conversation. 163 00:06:42,161 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 3: Oh that's beautiful. 164 00:06:43,121 --> 00:06:45,201 Speaker 1: So today we're going to unpack a few different assumptions 165 00:06:45,201 --> 00:06:47,641 Speaker 1: that have come our way and our thoughts around them, 166 00:06:47,681 --> 00:06:49,121 Speaker 1: just in case you can relate to them more in 167 00:06:49,161 --> 00:06:53,161 Speaker 1: cases ever thrown your way. This might give you a 168 00:06:53,161 --> 00:06:55,441 Speaker 1: little insight on how to look at it from a 169 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:56,241 Speaker 1: different perspective. 170 00:06:57,161 --> 00:07:00,681 Speaker 2: So let's go with one of yours. First, What has 171 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 2: someone said to you? 172 00:07:01,761 --> 00:07:04,241 Speaker 3: I was actually having a conversation with a client of 173 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 3: mine and we were having a conversation around physical insecurities, 174 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,841 Speaker 3: specifically to do with like facial features. And we were 175 00:07:11,881 --> 00:07:14,001 Speaker 3: having this conversation, I was holding space for her. Obviously 176 00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:17,761 Speaker 3: I can't share anything, it's all confidential. However, what the 177 00:07:17,841 --> 00:07:22,561 Speaker 3: projection was was that you wouldn't understand what it feels 178 00:07:22,601 --> 00:07:26,721 Speaker 3: like to be insecure or feel insecure about the way 179 00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 3: that you look. 180 00:07:28,401 --> 00:07:31,441 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what projections do as well, quickly, it 181 00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:34,601 Speaker 1: keeps you in victim mentality, doesn't it. It does, She's 182 00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:35,881 Speaker 1: a victim to her own thoughts. 183 00:07:35,961 --> 00:07:38,721 Speaker 3: Then, yeah, you wouldn't understand what this feels like, which 184 00:07:38,761 --> 00:07:43,561 Speaker 3: is really interesting because I was so insecure, Oh my god, 185 00:07:43,641 --> 00:07:47,281 Speaker 3: so insecure. I just remember being so young and just 186 00:07:47,361 --> 00:07:51,801 Speaker 3: feeling probably around eighteen to twenty mark, feeling so unworthy, 187 00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:56,241 Speaker 3: so insecure, like wanted to get you know, surgeries done, 188 00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:58,361 Speaker 3: all the things. I mean, I've got implants, for God's sake. 189 00:07:58,441 --> 00:08:00,801 Speaker 3: I got these when I was eighteen, right, And so 190 00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:04,121 Speaker 3: that's a visual representation of an insecurity that I had. 191 00:08:04,561 --> 00:08:07,361 Speaker 3: And so it's interesting when I do get projections like 192 00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:09,401 Speaker 3: this of like, you would never understand what it feels 193 00:08:09,441 --> 00:08:11,081 Speaker 3: like because of the way you look or whatever. 194 00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:13,281 Speaker 2: Actually you understand it because you've fully been there. 195 00:08:13,321 --> 00:08:15,641 Speaker 3: I'm actually it's the opposite. I'm like, oh my god, 196 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:17,241 Speaker 3: I was so deep in it, you wouldn't have any idea. 197 00:08:19,441 --> 00:08:20,961 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I. 198 00:08:20,961 --> 00:08:25,761 Speaker 3: Remember feeling so insecure and unworthy within myself when I 199 00:08:25,761 --> 00:08:28,041 Speaker 3: would have a moment of feeling unworthiness and the feeling 200 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,441 Speaker 3: would come up. At first, I wasn't conscious of this, 201 00:08:30,561 --> 00:08:32,721 Speaker 3: but I became aware of it. I would get dressed 202 00:08:32,801 --> 00:08:34,601 Speaker 3: up and I would put on a nice outfit. I 203 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,961 Speaker 3: would do my makeup, do my hair, and I would 204 00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:39,481 Speaker 3: go to the middle of somewhere where it was so 205 00:08:39,521 --> 00:08:42,161 Speaker 3: fucking busy, just so that I could get validation for 206 00:08:42,201 --> 00:08:45,721 Speaker 3: people looking at me, because I needed to seek validation 207 00:08:45,761 --> 00:08:48,041 Speaker 3: outside of myself because I didn't know how to give 208 00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:51,201 Speaker 3: it to myself, you know. And so it's just a 209 00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:54,281 Speaker 3: cool thing of like what you may think somebody may 210 00:08:54,321 --> 00:08:57,961 Speaker 3: not experience or struggle with is just a projection of 211 00:08:58,001 --> 00:09:01,721 Speaker 3: what you think that they're experiencing. But we're all human, 212 00:09:02,121 --> 00:09:05,681 Speaker 3: we all have fears, we all have insecurities, a struggle 213 00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:07,721 Speaker 3: with certain things that you know, what I see in 214 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:11,721 Speaker 3: myself and I feel insecure about. You might not even notice, yes, right, 215 00:09:11,761 --> 00:09:14,041 Speaker 3: but it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. It's not 216 00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:15,801 Speaker 3: the first time that I've had that insecurity from a 217 00:09:15,801 --> 00:09:18,521 Speaker 3: client and being like you wouldn't understand, I'm like, well, 218 00:09:18,561 --> 00:09:20,921 Speaker 3: actually I do like more than what you think. 219 00:09:21,801 --> 00:09:22,721 Speaker 2: So interesting, isn't it. 220 00:09:23,241 --> 00:09:25,361 Speaker 1: I got one that said, you pretend like your kids 221 00:09:25,401 --> 00:09:28,441 Speaker 1: are perfect and you only post the good things about parenting. 222 00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:30,441 Speaker 2: That was interesting. 223 00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:33,401 Speaker 1: First of all, my kids are having a tantrum, or 224 00:09:33,441 --> 00:09:36,401 Speaker 1: they're disregulated, or they're emotional, or they're having a hard day. 225 00:09:36,881 --> 00:09:40,081 Speaker 1: The last thing I would ever think about doing or 226 00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:43,601 Speaker 1: do is pull out my camera. I'm not going to 227 00:09:43,681 --> 00:09:46,001 Speaker 1: do that. That is so disrespectful. But when you hear that, 228 00:09:46,361 --> 00:09:49,041 Speaker 1: what do you think that parent is feeling. Do you 229 00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:52,881 Speaker 1: think she's projecting that because she's feeling insecure about her 230 00:09:52,961 --> 00:09:54,321 Speaker 1: kids being bratty that day? 231 00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:56,321 Speaker 2: What do you think would be going through her head? 232 00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:59,641 Speaker 3: The first thing that comes to mind is that she's 233 00:09:59,761 --> 00:10:02,961 Speaker 3: triggered that your life seems like a highlight reel. Maybe 234 00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:05,321 Speaker 3: she's potentially lacking the good. 235 00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:08,201 Speaker 1: Stuff, the good stuff you've been using that word good Yeah. 236 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:08,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, good stuff. 237 00:10:09,081 --> 00:10:11,041 Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe feeling I don't know. 238 00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,601 Speaker 1: That's the first thing that popped into my mind, like 239 00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:15,121 Speaker 1: feeling like my life's put together because my kids always 240 00:10:15,121 --> 00:10:18,041 Speaker 1: seem well behaved. It brings up stuff for her that 241 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,081 Speaker 1: maybe she's feeling a little bit out of control. And 242 00:10:20,081 --> 00:10:22,561 Speaker 1: by the way, this is us unpacking it as we go. 243 00:10:22,841 --> 00:10:24,921 Speaker 1: There's no structure here and there's no wrong or right, 244 00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:27,041 Speaker 1: and you might disagree, and that's totally fine. We're literally 245 00:10:27,121 --> 00:10:29,121 Speaker 1: unpacking this as we would if we didn't have cameras 246 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,001 Speaker 1: and microphones in front of us. But yeah, what I 247 00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:33,001 Speaker 1: hear from that is similar to what I was thinking, 248 00:10:33,081 --> 00:10:34,921 Speaker 1: is that she looks at my kids and my life 249 00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:37,081 Speaker 1: and it looks like it's all structured and in control. 250 00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:40,961 Speaker 1: My kids are perfect and everything's rosy and amazing. So 251 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:42,801 Speaker 1: that brings up her that my kids are out of 252 00:10:42,801 --> 00:10:45,281 Speaker 1: control and they're having tangents all the time, and my 253 00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:46,921 Speaker 1: work's a mess, my house is a mess. Why does 254 00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:48,961 Speaker 1: it look so easy for her? I'm going to put 255 00:10:48,961 --> 00:10:50,401 Speaker 1: that on her and bring her down to my level, 256 00:10:50,881 --> 00:10:52,001 Speaker 1: and then we're going to connect on that. 257 00:10:52,161 --> 00:10:55,361 Speaker 3: Yes, Like it's triggering for her to see that you 258 00:10:55,401 --> 00:10:59,161 Speaker 3: don't have the moments of yes, regulation, tantrums, all of 259 00:10:59,161 --> 00:11:01,361 Speaker 3: that stuff. She's like, well, why don't you have that 260 00:11:01,481 --> 00:11:03,841 Speaker 3: kind of al Why aren't you showing that because that's 261 00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:06,401 Speaker 3: the reality that maybe she's experiencing, Yes, and she. 262 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,081 Speaker 1: Wants to know it's relatable alone and there. Yeah, so 263 00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:10,721 Speaker 1: I can fully see her on that. But I need 264 00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:13,041 Speaker 1: to tell any mom that is listening my kids to 265 00:11:13,081 --> 00:11:18,681 Speaker 1: have tantrums. Oh my goodness, Tala girl, Taj he's very 266 00:11:18,681 --> 00:11:21,001 Speaker 1: sweet and calm. He still has his moments, but Tala, 267 00:11:21,121 --> 00:11:23,641 Speaker 1: holy moly. She will tell me when she's not happier, 268 00:11:23,681 --> 00:11:25,601 Speaker 1: when she wants something. But I just will never pull 269 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,921 Speaker 1: the camera out. It's not something I would ever disrespect 270 00:11:27,961 --> 00:11:30,201 Speaker 1: my kids and do. Although the other day she was 271 00:11:30,241 --> 00:11:32,201 Speaker 1: crying on my real did you see the smoothie time one? 272 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:35,481 Speaker 1: And she was like, oh, they get smoothie. I think 273 00:11:35,481 --> 00:11:37,401 Speaker 1: that's the only time I've showed her crying because I 274 00:11:37,401 --> 00:11:39,361 Speaker 1: believe when she grows up she will laugh at that. Yes, 275 00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:41,761 Speaker 1: But otherwise, if they're disregulated or upset or having a 276 00:11:41,761 --> 00:11:44,001 Speaker 1: tough day, there's no fuck on way open my camera out. 277 00:11:44,281 --> 00:11:46,281 Speaker 1: It does not mean I don't experience the same things 278 00:11:46,361 --> 00:11:49,721 Speaker 1: you do. Yes, parent can feel so lonely, but at 279 00:11:49,761 --> 00:11:52,041 Speaker 1: the end of the day, we all experience the same thing. 280 00:11:52,441 --> 00:11:53,161 Speaker 2: In our own way. 281 00:11:53,361 --> 00:11:56,441 Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope any parent's listening me reassuring you that 282 00:11:56,481 --> 00:11:57,921 Speaker 1: I go through what you do as well, that we're 283 00:11:57,961 --> 00:11:59,521 Speaker 1: not alone in this journey. And that's why, once again, 284 00:11:59,561 --> 00:12:03,201 Speaker 1: it's so important to bring mothers together and sister together 285 00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:05,601 Speaker 1: and to connect and to share and be vulnerable because 286 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:06,801 Speaker 1: it helps us not feel alone. 287 00:12:06,881 --> 00:12:08,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, what's your next one? 288 00:12:09,081 --> 00:12:11,161 Speaker 3: The next one for me is it's easy for you 289 00:12:11,241 --> 00:12:13,881 Speaker 3: to be confident around other people because it comes so 290 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:14,841 Speaker 3: naturally for you. 291 00:12:14,921 --> 00:12:16,601 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this one. 292 00:12:16,761 --> 00:12:18,801 Speaker 3: It kind of makes me giggle a bit because I 293 00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:21,041 Speaker 3: just think you just don't know, like you know, the 294 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,681 Speaker 3: projections that come through you just you never really know 295 00:12:23,721 --> 00:12:26,041 Speaker 3: what somebody's past has been like, her experience has been, like, 296 00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:28,281 Speaker 3: I'd be curious, what do you think It's easy for 297 00:12:28,321 --> 00:12:30,641 Speaker 3: you to be confident around other people because it comes 298 00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:31,361 Speaker 3: naturally for you. 299 00:12:32,161 --> 00:12:35,201 Speaker 1: They think that you haven't had to work hard, and 300 00:12:35,241 --> 00:12:37,041 Speaker 1: then they're in victim that it's not fair that they 301 00:12:37,081 --> 00:12:38,841 Speaker 1: have to work so hard and they're still not there. 302 00:12:38,961 --> 00:12:42,241 Speaker 1: It looks so easy for her. They're being a victim, 303 00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:43,441 Speaker 1: which I am not judging. 304 00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:44,881 Speaker 2: I'm been a victim honestly. 305 00:12:44,961 --> 00:12:47,641 Speaker 1: One of my biggest victim stories was that everyone else 306 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,401 Speaker 1: has it easier than me. Yep, and I've got it 307 00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:51,321 Speaker 1: ten times harder. I'm a queen of victim when I 308 00:12:51,321 --> 00:12:54,081 Speaker 1: was younger, So no judgment here, but I think she's 309 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,681 Speaker 1: looking at you as if you haven't had to try. 310 00:12:55,761 --> 00:12:57,921 Speaker 1: You've just been born with this natural gift of being 311 00:12:57,961 --> 00:13:00,521 Speaker 1: able to speak and be confident and be beautiful. And 312 00:13:00,561 --> 00:13:02,601 Speaker 1: it's so hard for her that maybe she's wanting to 313 00:13:02,601 --> 00:13:05,441 Speaker 1: show up on camera or wanting to show up anyway 314 00:13:05,441 --> 00:13:07,321 Speaker 1: in her life, and she still doesn't have the courage to. 315 00:13:07,801 --> 00:13:11,321 Speaker 1: But what we forget is we haven't seen everyone seasoned 316 00:13:11,361 --> 00:13:13,281 Speaker 1: in chapters to get to that point where they are 317 00:13:13,601 --> 00:13:16,081 Speaker 1: even meeting on camera. It looks like I'm so natural 318 00:13:16,081 --> 00:13:18,121 Speaker 1: on camera. Yeah, I've always wanted to be on stage. 319 00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:20,681 Speaker 1: But you should have seen the tantrums and fights that 320 00:13:20,721 --> 00:13:22,761 Speaker 1: Steve and I used to have when we first started 321 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:25,201 Speaker 1: out business. He would push me in front of the camera. 322 00:13:25,401 --> 00:13:26,921 Speaker 1: I was like a two year old having a tantrum. 323 00:13:26,961 --> 00:13:29,281 Speaker 1: I did not want to be seen. If I stuffed up, 324 00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:33,041 Speaker 1: I would cry, Literally, I would cry. There's been a 325 00:13:33,281 --> 00:13:36,321 Speaker 1: long journey, in so much persistence and practice to get 326 00:13:36,321 --> 00:13:38,641 Speaker 1: to this point where I'm so comfortable with who I 327 00:13:38,681 --> 00:13:40,321 Speaker 1: am and I know I've got a voice to share. 328 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,881 Speaker 1: But yeah, there's a journey for someone to get to 329 00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:45,361 Speaker 1: where you are right now, but people don't see that, 330 00:13:45,401 --> 00:13:47,801 Speaker 1: and that's where the projections come out, and you're always 331 00:13:47,841 --> 00:13:49,321 Speaker 1: feel like you're in that victim energy. 332 00:13:49,561 --> 00:13:51,521 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I feel for her, but it's just not 333 00:13:51,561 --> 00:13:51,921 Speaker 2: the case. 334 00:13:52,161 --> 00:13:54,081 Speaker 3: I feel for her too, but I'm also like, honey, 335 00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:54,801 Speaker 3: if only you knew. 336 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,441 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we get to do this work, just like 337 00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:59,841 Speaker 1: whoever's listening, who wrote that in or has said that 338 00:13:59,841 --> 00:14:02,201 Speaker 1: to you. She gets to choose to work on it 339 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,441 Speaker 1: and to see it from a different perspective. Now, when 340 00:14:04,481 --> 00:14:07,681 Speaker 1: I see some inspiring years ago, I would have made 341 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:08,601 Speaker 1: a projection like that. 342 00:14:08,641 --> 00:14:11,001 Speaker 2: It's so much easier for them now. 343 00:14:11,281 --> 00:14:13,361 Speaker 1: My mind goes, oh, they must have done a lot 344 00:14:13,401 --> 00:14:15,721 Speaker 1: of work to get there. Yeah, what courses did they do? 345 00:14:16,001 --> 00:14:18,881 Speaker 1: Who's their coach? How much practice have they had? They've 346 00:14:18,881 --> 00:14:21,081 Speaker 1: been a stage for three years, five years, ten years. 347 00:14:21,321 --> 00:14:25,001 Speaker 1: I'm inquiring and almost s talking what they've done and 348 00:14:25,041 --> 00:14:27,001 Speaker 1: how they've done it to get there. Yes, that's where 349 00:14:27,161 --> 00:14:29,241 Speaker 1: my mindset's at now. Yeah, so it's cool when you 350 00:14:29,241 --> 00:14:29,961 Speaker 1: can turn it around. 351 00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:33,081 Speaker 3: Oh absolutely, And you know what's interesting, I was once 352 00:14:33,521 --> 00:14:38,041 Speaker 3: just so the opposite of confident, anything but confident, And 353 00:14:38,121 --> 00:14:41,201 Speaker 3: I vividly remember, just like this experience has popped into 354 00:14:41,241 --> 00:14:44,561 Speaker 3: my head of trying to fit in around this group 355 00:14:44,601 --> 00:14:46,201 Speaker 3: of people that I met in Bondi when I was 356 00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:48,641 Speaker 3: living in Sydney, and I was trying so hard to 357 00:14:48,641 --> 00:14:52,281 Speaker 3: fit in, and I just remember feeling so hard to 358 00:14:52,801 --> 00:14:55,681 Speaker 3: have a conversation flow, yeah, being like I had to 359 00:14:55,721 --> 00:14:57,921 Speaker 3: think about what I was saying, I had to try 360 00:14:57,961 --> 00:15:01,241 Speaker 3: to find topics to talk about, and I just was 361 00:15:01,281 --> 00:15:03,281 Speaker 3: so in my head that I was the person who 362 00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:04,801 Speaker 3: sat in the back corner and was mute. 363 00:15:05,761 --> 00:15:07,401 Speaker 1: And it has been. 364 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:11,241 Speaker 3: A conscious effort for years. I'm talking like years and 365 00:15:11,281 --> 00:15:14,201 Speaker 3: years have I've been doing personal development. Now has it 366 00:15:14,241 --> 00:15:17,121 Speaker 3: taken me to be able to feel so natural when 367 00:15:17,121 --> 00:15:19,761 Speaker 3: I'm talking or to just yap and be comfortable that 368 00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:23,041 Speaker 3: I feel comfortable yapping because I'm comfortable in myself now. 369 00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:26,881 Speaker 3: But it took really facing all those parts of myself 370 00:15:27,201 --> 00:15:30,401 Speaker 3: that I wasn't confident in, that I didn't love, that 371 00:15:30,521 --> 00:15:33,641 Speaker 3: I was rejecting within myself for me to be able 372 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,641 Speaker 3: to go, hey, I feel comfortable owning all of who 373 00:15:35,641 --> 00:15:39,001 Speaker 3: I am now really sitting with the anxious part of 374 00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:42,201 Speaker 3: me too? You know, it takes a lot of you 375 00:15:42,321 --> 00:15:44,081 Speaker 3: being able to be okay with that part of you, 376 00:15:44,481 --> 00:15:47,481 Speaker 3: not judging it, not judging the part of you that 377 00:15:47,521 --> 00:15:51,321 Speaker 3: wants to be accepted or loved or valued by other 378 00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:54,201 Speaker 3: people so much that you're in your head while you're 379 00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:54,881 Speaker 3: sitting in front with. 380 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,321 Speaker 1: Somebody going up, do they talk like me? Moment? What 381 00:15:57,361 --> 00:15:58,081 Speaker 1: am I going to say? 382 00:15:58,241 --> 00:15:59,921 Speaker 3: What should I say to make them like me? Like, 383 00:16:00,281 --> 00:16:02,921 Speaker 3: not judging that part of you so that you can 384 00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:05,281 Speaker 3: go okay, cool, How can I just have a how 385 00:16:05,321 --> 00:16:06,801 Speaker 3: can I get to know this person better? 386 00:16:06,881 --> 00:16:07,721 Speaker 2: Yeah? 387 00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:09,161 Speaker 1: Well, could I learn about this. 388 00:16:09,121 --> 00:16:11,601 Speaker 3: Person that might deepen our friendship? I want to get 389 00:16:11,641 --> 00:16:14,921 Speaker 3: to know this person. It just shifts from you to them. 390 00:16:15,281 --> 00:16:15,681 Speaker 1: Yeah. 391 00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:18,001 Speaker 3: And then also with time and practice, like what you 392 00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:20,401 Speaker 3: were saying, some more connection with you doing this for 393 00:16:20,441 --> 00:16:21,881 Speaker 3: fifteen years on camera. 394 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,361 Speaker 1: It's the same thing. 395 00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:25,441 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so cool what you got for us? 396 00:16:25,841 --> 00:16:27,601 Speaker 1: This son's been a more recent thing, which I have 397 00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:30,721 Speaker 1: spoken about before on the podcast of For years, I've 398 00:16:30,721 --> 00:16:34,481 Speaker 1: never wanted to show anything to do with finances because 399 00:16:34,521 --> 00:16:37,001 Speaker 1: I wanted to stay relatable. I wanted other people to 400 00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:40,161 Speaker 1: not think I was bragging or rubbing in their face 401 00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:41,041 Speaker 1: or anything like that. 402 00:16:41,161 --> 00:16:42,241 Speaker 2: So now I've. 403 00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:43,721 Speaker 1: Started to just show a little bit more of that, 404 00:16:43,801 --> 00:16:46,921 Speaker 1: whether it's buying a bag that's celebrating a milestone, or 405 00:16:47,201 --> 00:16:50,321 Speaker 1: going on business class flights with my son or whatever 406 00:16:50,361 --> 00:16:52,281 Speaker 1: it might be. There's been a few projections that have 407 00:16:52,361 --> 00:16:54,961 Speaker 1: come in You're bragging by showing us how much I earn. 408 00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:58,761 Speaker 1: And this one particularly came around I uploaded a photo dump. 409 00:16:58,841 --> 00:17:00,961 Speaker 1: I upload one of the photos a screenshot of how 410 00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:01,841 Speaker 1: much high do I made? 411 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:02,681 Speaker 2: Last year? Yeah? 412 00:17:02,681 --> 00:17:03,321 Speaker 1: You fucking did? 413 00:17:03,881 --> 00:17:04,081 Speaker 3: Yeah? 414 00:17:04,121 --> 00:17:07,201 Speaker 1: And that was so for me because you I uploaded 415 00:17:07,321 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: straight away you messaged me and you're like, fuck, yes, 416 00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: this would have been hard for you. 417 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 3: Yes. 418 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: And I remember even saying to Steve, do you mind 419 00:17:13,561 --> 00:17:16,801 Speaker 1: if I upload this? And he was like, Oh, go 420 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: for it. You're gonna get a lot of hate for that, 421 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,521 Speaker 1: and I said, I know, I'm going to invite it 422 00:17:20,521 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: in because I want to practice how I respond and 423 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 1: I want to practice being okay, to be proud of myself. 424 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,121 Speaker 1: And the reason I did it was I actually saw 425 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: someone else do it and they're in the same industry 426 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 1: as what I am, and I saw them and I 427 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:36,400 Speaker 1: was like, hell, yes, I was so excited for this 428 00:17:36,441 --> 00:17:38,561 Speaker 1: person that I didn't even know. I was like yes, 429 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,481 Speaker 1: And I remember seeing all these tiktogs is around Black 430 00:17:40,481 --> 00:17:43,160 Speaker 1: Friday of small business owners setting up their phone and 431 00:17:43,201 --> 00:17:44,961 Speaker 1: they push launch and you hear their ding ding de 432 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 1: stopify sales and then crying and them excited. 433 00:17:47,681 --> 00:17:49,521 Speaker 2: I got one hundred orders, I got a thousand orders. 434 00:17:49,761 --> 00:17:52,401 Speaker 1: We smashed up Black Friday by times free from last year. 435 00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:54,880 Speaker 1: I just I get so excited people, I get so 436 00:17:54,921 --> 00:17:57,041 Speaker 1: happy for them, for everyone to be financially free, that 437 00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:59,321 Speaker 1: it's just like the goals. By doing something that you 438 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,321 Speaker 1: love well that makes positive impact, it just makes me 439 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 1: so happy. So anyways, sorry, I. 440 00:18:05,201 --> 00:18:06,160 Speaker 2: Can really excited about that. 441 00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:08,561 Speaker 1: I really wanted to start showing a bit more of 442 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: that because I didn't want to just be relatable. I 443 00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 1: wanted to show women that they too can come from 444 00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: nothing and make something of themselves. They can come from 445 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,561 Speaker 1: no money and earn a lot of money and live 446 00:18:19,561 --> 00:18:21,801 Speaker 1: a life they're really proud of and provide their kids 447 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,920 Speaker 1: with really cool experiences and be able to buy the 448 00:18:23,921 --> 00:18:27,041 Speaker 1: shiny things they've never been able to buy. To celebrate something, 449 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 1: or just not even to celebrate just because you fucking 450 00:18:28,921 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: want it. 451 00:18:29,721 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 2: I want to show women that you can do that. 452 00:18:31,681 --> 00:18:34,201 Speaker 1: So it's felt very edgy, and that projection comes out 453 00:18:34,241 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 1: a lot, and I understand it because I used to 454 00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:39,841 Speaker 1: think like that if I saw women uploading their come 455 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: with me to pray to buy a bag, Like, why 456 00:18:41,801 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: do you have to show that? Just go buy it? 457 00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 2: Yes? 458 00:18:43,761 --> 00:18:45,801 Speaker 1: Can you hear that in my tone? Yeah, it's a projection. 459 00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:48,641 Speaker 1: I'm triggered because I can't afford to go and buy 460 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,321 Speaker 1: that bag, and now you're rubbing in my face that 461 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,360 Speaker 1: I can't afford it. It's got nothing to do with 462 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,041 Speaker 1: her celebrating being able to buy a handbag. It's all 463 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,561 Speaker 1: to do with my insecurities and me not feeling enough 464 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 1: and upset that I haven't got that money or I 465 00:19:00,721 --> 00:19:02,521 Speaker 1: haven't worked as hard as what maybe she has. 466 00:19:02,721 --> 00:19:03,801 Speaker 3: That's the biggest one, isn't it. 467 00:19:03,801 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 1: It brings it all up. 468 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:05,321 Speaker 3: Yeah. 469 00:19:05,441 --> 00:19:08,561 Speaker 1: So I understand this trigger because I've been there, But 470 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,281 Speaker 1: like I said, I want to keep inviting it in 471 00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 1: because it's a really important conversation to have. See what 472 00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: money wounds and triggers you have. 473 00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:15,921 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what you. 474 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 3: Just said is so powerful and something that I resonated 475 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,121 Speaker 3: with with that specific trigger is oh, maybe I haven't 476 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 3: worked as hard as she had. Oh, like one of 477 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,920 Speaker 3: my old friendships, she was awesome business owner, like a 478 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,400 Speaker 3: very successful, very impressive human being. And I remember at 479 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,481 Speaker 3: the time I couldn't hold my jealousy and I couldn't 480 00:19:34,681 --> 00:19:38,001 Speaker 3: hold that projection. I would be like, oh, it's easy 481 00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:39,881 Speaker 3: for her. I'd had that projection. It was easy for her. 482 00:19:39,921 --> 00:19:42,401 Speaker 3: But what I was refusing to look at within myself 483 00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 3: was I'm not doing the things that she's doing to 484 00:19:44,521 --> 00:19:47,561 Speaker 3: get there. And it was having to really admit that 485 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,041 Speaker 3: to myself, which was very hard to do because it 486 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 3: was so much easier for me to project onto her 487 00:19:52,761 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 3: about how much easier it was for her, and just 488 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,160 Speaker 3: you know, maybe it was who she was as a 489 00:19:57,201 --> 00:19:59,561 Speaker 3: person and she was more aligned for something like that, 490 00:19:59,721 --> 00:20:01,561 Speaker 3: or she just had the skills that I didn't have. 491 00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:04,681 Speaker 3: But it's not about that at all. It's about owning 492 00:20:05,201 --> 00:20:06,841 Speaker 3: the part of you that you don't want to sit with, 493 00:20:06,921 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 3: which is part of me specifically that wasn't working for 494 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,001 Speaker 3: what I wanted. It was like I was saying I 495 00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:15,441 Speaker 3: wanted all the things, but I wasn't doing the actions, 496 00:20:15,521 --> 00:20:18,161 Speaker 3: at least not consistently. For me to get the results 497 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,281 Speaker 3: that I wanted to have. 498 00:20:19,561 --> 00:20:21,961 Speaker 1: Oh so, oh so crazy. 499 00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 3: But it's uncomfortable things to look at, which is why 500 00:20:24,721 --> 00:20:28,161 Speaker 3: you can understand why we all at some point project 501 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,561 Speaker 3: that onto the people who are doing really well. 502 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 1: Be There's a girl I follow, I've showed you her before, 503 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,241 Speaker 1: Georgie Stevenson. She's a local Goldcoast influencer, and she was 504 00:20:34,241 --> 00:20:35,400 Speaker 1: the one that kind of led the way for me 505 00:20:35,481 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 1: because she was showing her buying a bag, she was 506 00:20:38,201 --> 00:20:40,241 Speaker 1: showing her new Tesla, and then she bought a Porsche 507 00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:42,521 Speaker 1: six months later, and then she's bought this beautiful, big 508 00:20:42,561 --> 00:20:44,441 Speaker 1: mansion on the beach, and she was proud to show 509 00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:47,561 Speaker 1: it all and I was so stoked for her. Fuck yeah, 510 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: and if I felt so inspired by that and lifted 511 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,961 Speaker 1: up by that and like, wow, that's possible. Or like 512 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,481 Speaker 1: you know, when we see podcast hosts make x amount 513 00:20:57,481 --> 00:21:00,521 Speaker 1: of money or hit their tenoon downloads, I don't see 514 00:21:00,561 --> 00:21:03,761 Speaker 1: that as a jealousy projection anymore of it. It's easy 515 00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:06,120 Speaker 1: for them. I'm like, wow, that's possible. Look at what 516 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,481 Speaker 1: they thank you for showing me that that's possible. Because 517 00:21:08,481 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 1: I don't want to be a victim thinking that I 518 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,201 Speaker 1: can't achieve that because I had a hard childhood or whatever. No, no, no, 519 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 1: thank you. That's amazing and now I want to be 520 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:16,521 Speaker 1: that for other women. 521 00:21:16,721 --> 00:21:17,321 Speaker 2: That for me. 522 00:21:17,521 --> 00:21:20,121 Speaker 3: I love that There's these two best friends who run 523 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,961 Speaker 3: businesses together. I can't even remember their names, but I 524 00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:23,880 Speaker 3: remember the ones that had their cars. They pulled up 525 00:21:24,481 --> 00:21:27,920 Speaker 3: the Porsches, they got matching Porsches, and I was just like, oh, 526 00:21:28,201 --> 00:21:31,281 Speaker 3: that's the callst shit. Ever, Like I remember seeing that 527 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:33,440 Speaker 3: being like, we can make a video like that, Like 528 00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:35,360 Speaker 3: we can do that when we, you know, get to 529 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,761 Speaker 3: that place as well. And when I see women who 530 00:21:37,761 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 3: buy themselves like a g wagon or something, they got 531 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,921 Speaker 3: a big bow on it, and I'm just like, you're 532 00:21:41,961 --> 00:21:45,001 Speaker 3: about us. You've got created that for yourself, Okay, cool. 533 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:49,121 Speaker 3: Like I've always believed this, maybe not pre victim mentality, yeah, 534 00:21:49,561 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 3: not pre victim mentality, but post of victim mentality. I 535 00:21:53,281 --> 00:21:56,201 Speaker 3: always thought you only need one person to be evidence 536 00:21:56,281 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 3: that what you want gets to be possible for you, 537 00:21:59,241 --> 00:22:01,241 Speaker 3: because you only need one person ahead of you to 538 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 3: proven that it can be done for you to go. 539 00:22:04,241 --> 00:22:06,041 Speaker 3: Of course I can have this if I work for it. 540 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to take radical responsibility you do at 541 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:09,641 Speaker 1: the end of the day. 542 00:22:09,761 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so cool. It's a powerful conversation, the best. 543 00:22:12,681 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 3: So the last one that I have is you wouldn't 544 00:22:15,241 --> 00:22:17,241 Speaker 3: understand what it feels like to have no choice? 545 00:22:17,521 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: Oh, oh yeah, the no choice thing. Yeah, so always 546 00:22:22,201 --> 00:22:22,680 Speaker 1: have choice. 547 00:22:22,721 --> 00:22:25,360 Speaker 3: I won't share where this came from, just confidentiality and 548 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:29,721 Speaker 3: all the things. However, it was just a really interesting conversation. 549 00:22:29,761 --> 00:22:33,041 Speaker 3: There were many projections in this conversation that had around 550 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 3: a situation that she had been in in terms of 551 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,041 Speaker 3: financials and things like that. 552 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,681 Speaker 1: I haven't related to money, and yeah. 553 00:22:38,561 --> 00:22:40,360 Speaker 3: It was you don't understand what it's like to have 554 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,801 Speaker 3: no choice, And I just remember having so much compassion 555 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,761 Speaker 3: for where she was. At course, however, it just allowed 556 00:22:46,801 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 3: me to see really where on her journey she was, 557 00:22:49,441 --> 00:22:50,721 Speaker 3: you know, and there's nothing wrong with. 558 00:22:50,681 --> 00:22:52,041 Speaker 2: That how she viewed the world. 559 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,400 Speaker 3: Oh, there's nothing wrong with that. But it's just the 560 00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:56,360 Speaker 3: projection of you not knowing what it feels like to 561 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 3: have no choice. Yeah, and it is very poor me. 562 00:23:00,001 --> 00:23:00,401 Speaker 2: It is. 563 00:23:00,521 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 3: It is, like, I'll be honest, it is very poor me. 564 00:23:03,041 --> 00:23:05,521 Speaker 2: And true, Yeah, I've been there. 565 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 3: I understand what it feels like to feel like you 566 00:23:08,481 --> 00:23:10,641 Speaker 3: have no choice and to feel like all of your 567 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 3: options are gone and that there is actually nothing that 568 00:23:13,201 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 3: you can do. However, I have also experienced that and 569 00:23:17,321 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 3: have been in that victim mentality where I thought that 570 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 3: there was no way out. But at the end of 571 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,761 Speaker 3: the day, it is a choice, and you will have 572 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,360 Speaker 3: to be faced with that victim mentality of feeling so 573 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,880 Speaker 3: victimized by your life until you decide that you're fucking 574 00:23:31,961 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 3: sick of it. 575 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,561 Speaker 1: And until side you've had enough of your own shit. 576 00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 3: You couldn't have said it better. You've had enough of 577 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 3: your own shit and you're going to find a way out. 578 00:23:40,281 --> 00:23:41,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, and there no choice thing. 579 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,521 Speaker 1: I think we have all been there where we think 580 00:23:43,561 --> 00:23:45,721 Speaker 1: there's no way out of the situation that we're in, 581 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,801 Speaker 1: even if it's not in that moment, You've got a 582 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,841 Speaker 1: choice to change your perspective on it. Yes, you've got 583 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,761 Speaker 1: a choice as to what you do the next day 584 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,001 Speaker 1: to help get you out of that situation, out of 585 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: that job, out of that relationship, whatever it is. You 586 00:23:56,801 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 1: can make micro steps, Yes, that will help you get 587 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:00,241 Speaker 1: out of it. 588 00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:01,641 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's powerful. 589 00:24:01,721 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 3: And you know what, there's nothing wrong with like, you know, 590 00:24:03,521 --> 00:24:08,001 Speaker 3: you have a bit of a victimy, You're just like, 591 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:12,041 Speaker 3: but it's what you do after you said it's some 592 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,281 Speaker 3: micro moments. It's what you choose after you have that moment. 593 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:17,801 Speaker 3: Do you choose to stay in the victim mentality or 594 00:24:17,801 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 3: do you choose to do something about it? Because you 595 00:24:20,201 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 3: will forever feel victimized by your life if you are 596 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 3: constantly projecting that no one experiences hardship and you were 597 00:24:26,761 --> 00:24:29,761 Speaker 3: the only person, like the universe or whatever. It is 598 00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:32,120 Speaker 3: like playing a sick fucking joke on you, Like this 599 00:24:32,201 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 3: bitch is going down, Like you know, if we tell 600 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,961 Speaker 3: ourselves that that's what you're going to create and that's 601 00:24:36,961 --> 00:24:40,041 Speaker 3: what you're going to see and experience every single time, 602 00:24:40,441 --> 00:24:43,761 Speaker 3: and everyone will always be on this pedestal of it's easier, 603 00:24:44,001 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 3: it's easy for them. They would never understand when in 604 00:24:47,001 --> 00:24:51,561 Speaker 3: actual fact, anyone who's ever received or achieved something incredible 605 00:24:51,961 --> 00:24:54,481 Speaker 3: has worked phenomenally fucking hard. 606 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,561 Speaker 1: So many times where they've fallen over and picked themselves 607 00:24:57,561 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 1: back up, so many failures and lessons. No one successful 608 00:25:00,921 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: I know has had a smooth journey. Yeah, they've actually 609 00:25:02,921 --> 00:25:05,721 Speaker 1: probably lost a lot more than what you realize either 610 00:25:05,801 --> 00:25:09,441 Speaker 1: just haven't shared it, which is obviously fine privacy. They've 611 00:25:09,521 --> 00:25:11,801 Speaker 1: risked a lot and they've learnt a lot, and they've 612 00:25:11,921 --> 00:25:14,360 Speaker 1: chosen Instead of being like, oh that's over for me, 613 00:25:14,481 --> 00:25:16,321 Speaker 1: or that didn't work for me, it's like, Okay, that 614 00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 1: path didn't work. I'm to try again over here, and 615 00:25:18,441 --> 00:25:19,801 Speaker 1: I'm going to risk it and I'm going to try 616 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,440 Speaker 1: again and I'm going to step up again. It is 617 00:25:21,481 --> 00:25:22,440 Speaker 1: a choice to do that. 618 00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,880 Speaker 3: It's been willing to look for the options. 619 00:25:24,961 --> 00:25:28,761 Speaker 1: Yes, that's exactly right. Hard to see sometimes it's curiosity. Yeah, 620 00:25:28,801 --> 00:25:29,321 Speaker 1: we love that. 621 00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:29,841 Speaker 3: We do. 622 00:25:30,921 --> 00:25:34,201 Speaker 1: Really hope this episode helped you all as we unpacked them. 623 00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:36,360 Speaker 1: And you will have people project on you all the time. 624 00:25:36,441 --> 00:25:38,041 Speaker 1: It's a part of life. We all have to deal 625 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 1: with it. But it's cool when you can have a 626 00:25:40,281 --> 00:25:42,321 Speaker 1: deeper understanding as to where it's come from, because then 627 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,561 Speaker 1: one you don't take it personally, and two you can 628 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,761 Speaker 1: maybe help them see from a differspective as well and 629 00:25:46,801 --> 00:25:49,681 Speaker 1: take some responsibility to make changes in their life, which 630 00:25:49,721 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: is cool. 631 00:25:50,241 --> 00:25:51,321 Speaker 3: We love the growth, We love it all. 632 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 1: We love the growth, growth seekers. 633 00:25:53,561 --> 00:25:55,761 Speaker 3: Growth seekers. I love that, you know what I love 634 00:25:55,801 --> 00:25:58,881 Speaker 3: about the growth seeking? Every time I overcome a challenge, 635 00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 3: I've become a better version of myself. 636 00:26:00,521 --> 00:26:01,360 Speaker 2: Oh beautiful. 637 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:05,561 Speaker 3: And I love knowing what I'm capable of. And I've 638 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,601 Speaker 3: proven myself so many times before and the challenges I've overcome, 639 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,241 Speaker 3: things that I would have never thought that I would 640 00:26:10,241 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 3: have had to overcome. I've become a better person, and 641 00:26:12,761 --> 00:26:14,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, that's what I think this journey is about. 642 00:26:14,721 --> 00:26:17,041 Speaker 3: It's not about the destination, it's not about the goal 643 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,840 Speaker 3: the achievement. It's about who you become on the journey. 644 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,281 Speaker 3: And that's what I'm addicted to. I'm addicted to just 645 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 3: proving myself who I am time and time again, and 646 00:26:25,761 --> 00:26:27,400 Speaker 3: I just I love that fulure. 647 00:26:27,241 --> 00:26:29,160 Speaker 2: Way to live. It's so awesome, so big. 648 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,041 Speaker 1: Oh thanks for joining us, guys. If you're not in 649 00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:33,161 Speaker 1: our Facebook forum, please go and add yourself in there. 650 00:26:33,321 --> 00:26:36,041 Speaker 1: We chat, we continue yapping, you can throw our suggestions. 651 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,281 Speaker 1: You get access to all of our events for twenty 652 00:26:38,281 --> 00:26:39,481 Speaker 1: four hours before we release. 653 00:26:39,281 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 2: To the public. 654 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,640 Speaker 1: So ex that is so cool. Just search sheame Rises 655 00:26:42,681 --> 00:26:44,921 Speaker 1: on Facebook otherwise we'll see you in the next episode. 656 00:26:45,001 --> 00:26:45,401 Speaker 3: Bye.