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Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land, Always was, always

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Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.

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Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm out and this is

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Speaker 2: Two Broke Chicks to show that shares life lessons and

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Speaker 2: tips to help make you rich in life. And welcome

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Speaker 2: to another fabulous episode of Two Broke Chicks, our second

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Speaker 2: last of the year, and today we are sharing the

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Speaker 2: worst investments from twenty twenty four as sent in by

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Speaker 2: you chickies. We're talking purchases, we're talking relationships, we're talking jobs,

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Speaker 2: we're talking at.

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Speaker 1: All the things that wasted your time money are mental

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Speaker 1: health in twenty twenty.

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Speaker 2: Four, honestly, and it will be a good reminder to

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Speaker 2: not let them waste your time, money or mental health

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Speaker 2: in the new year. But first we will start with

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Speaker 2: our obsessions of the week. So what's yours?

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Speaker 3: L Okay, mine's a bit spicy ooh, but I don't

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Speaker 3: mean it to be okay, And it is that imitation

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Speaker 3: is the highest form of flattery, So our Black Friday

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Speaker 3: cheat sheets should be very.

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Speaker 4: Flattered this year. Looped uh huh.

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Speaker 1: You probably saw it on our Instagram stories over the weekend,

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Speaker 1: and we're not going to get into it because it's

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Speaker 1: not worth drama or anything like that. But I want

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Speaker 1: to just say that my obsession is how proud I

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Speaker 1: am of our cheat sheets and the work that we

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Speaker 1: put into them. We've been creating cheat sheets for sale.

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Speaker 4: Events for over three years.

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Speaker 1: We started in twenty twenty one Black Friday, and we

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Speaker 1: have just grown and developed and the work that we

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Speaker 1: put into these is incredible. Like I'm going to back

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Speaker 1: us here, and you know, we start working with brands

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Speaker 1: on exclusive deals months in advance. Our cheat sheet this

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Speaker 1: year not only had exclusive deals the cash back column,

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Speaker 1: but we also were supporting small this year. We asked

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Speaker 1: for small brands to reach out and send in what

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Speaker 1: their offers were, and of course, we are donating all

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Speaker 1: of our revenue to charity. And I am so so

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Speaker 1: happy to announce and say that we've raised over five

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars for victims of domestic violence, Citney Dogs and

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Speaker 1: Cats Home and the people of Palestine. And regardless of

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Speaker 1: whether or not people want to rip off or copy

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Speaker 1: or do whatever they want to do, that has been

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Speaker 1: such an achievement for us this year and we're just

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Speaker 1: so proud. And maybe next year people can maybe lift

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Speaker 1: that up and that charity initiative rather than you know,

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Speaker 1: making and ripping stuff. But I think at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, I'm really really proud of the work

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Speaker 1: that we've done, and so should you be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, And also thanks for all of your nice

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Speaker 2: messages to recognizing that and you know, being like O

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Speaker 2: G cheat sheet, I'd never use another one straight. We

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Speaker 2: appreciate the loyalty, but also even the empathy and that

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Speaker 2: you chicks, you know, understood why we would be upset

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Speaker 2: by something like this or frustrated by something like this,

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Speaker 2: and you know, also sending them tools as well and

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Speaker 2: being like have you seen this? I love that people snitching. Yeah, yeah, Like,

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Speaker 2: we would never condone anybody, you know, sending hate to anyone,

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Speaker 2: but we do appreciate the kind messages that you chicks

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Speaker 2: send to us. And that's all we've seen, and we

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Speaker 2: haven't seen any nastiness, So you chicks are just the best.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and again we don't want to condone any nastiness

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Speaker 1: or like anything like that.

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Speaker 2: Of course, never. Okay, My obsession of the week is

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Speaker 2: actually something that I've seen on the internet become an obsession,

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Speaker 2: and I'm not necessarily obsessed with it just yet. But

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Speaker 2: I'm interested. My interest has been.

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Speaker 4: Picked, if you will. She's titillating.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's that pins straight hair is coming back in.

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Speaker 4: I was thinking about this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you want to know why why the air straight?

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Speaker 1: The dice and air straight.

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Speaker 2: I really want to try it, but you don't wear

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Speaker 2: your hair straight, but maybe I would. I used to, though,

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Speaker 2: for I never ever used to curl my hair or

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Speaker 2: wear my natural curl, and I don't think I'll stray

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Speaker 2: away from that because I do. I have enjoyed embracing

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Speaker 2: my natural hair color a little bit more in my

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Speaker 2: natural curls and everything, but it'd be nice to play

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Speaker 2: with something new, maybe, So I'm like, maybe I'll give

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Speaker 2: it a go. You can go in store and try it,

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Speaker 2: but giving Avril Levine, I also.

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Speaker 4: Know what you'll like. And you are a ride or

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Speaker 4: die for your hair straightener.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, in my GHD, it's kind of all I

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Speaker 2: need at this point.

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Speaker 4: But I'd be.

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Speaker 2: Interested to try because I guess it takes your hair

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Speaker 2: from wet to wet to try and see how that looks. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: not an ad on an ad, but yeah, I was

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Speaker 2: using my GHD to straighten my hair back in the day,

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Speaker 2: and I'll probably continue to use something.

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Speaker 1: You'll be like, I'll be lowering you into your grape

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Speaker 1: being like, fuck, there's a kink at the back of

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Speaker 1: her head.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, just straightening the hair.

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Speaker 2: There always is. The back of my head is none of.

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Speaker 1: My business and it never ever will be no one's business.

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Speaker 4: The back of your own head is no one's business.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't look.

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Speaker 4: I love that. Don't lak God.

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Speaker 2: Should we get into the worst investments of twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 4: Let's go.

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Speaker 1: So the first worst investment of twenty twenty four from

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Speaker 1: the Chicks.

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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna say names. We'll make up names. Oh great, okay,

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Speaker 4: So this one's from Gabriella.

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Speaker 3: Ooh.

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Speaker 4: I stated at a job.

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Speaker 1: Even though my body was rejecting my decision, I should

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Speaker 1: have seen the signs. Literally was breaking out so badly,

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Speaker 1: stressed all the time, lost my spark, and for so

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Speaker 1: long while I was there, it was death's a lesson

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Speaker 1: to listen to my gut and my body. There is

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Speaker 1: so much power in listening to your body and what

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Speaker 1: your body is telling you. And I was listening to

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Speaker 1: Florence Given's new book, and it was saying how women

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Speaker 1: are so much more closely aligned to intuition, and they

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Speaker 1: arguably have more intuition, which is why it's been deemed

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Speaker 1: such a wishwashy thing, because the patriarchy or people don't

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Speaker 1: want us to trust our intuition and don't want us

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Speaker 1: to trust that gut feeling that is quite often telling

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Speaker 1: us when something is wrong, and we'll ignore it because

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Speaker 1: we'll put up with it, we'll deal with it, we'll

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Speaker 1: get over it. Whereas trusting your intuition, listening to your gut,

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Speaker 1: trusting your body is going to help you make so

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Speaker 1: much more decisions in life that will save you time, money,

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Speaker 1: or a headache. There was a list that I saw

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Speaker 1: of signs that your body is rejecting your job, and

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Speaker 1: I'll leave a link to the source in the show

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Speaker 1: notes as well. Number One, you get the Sunday scaries,

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Speaker 1: whether or not it's on a Sunday, or you just

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Speaker 1: have anxiety the night before you're ever supposed to go

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Speaker 1: to work whenever. That is, if you are filled with

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Speaker 1: dread about going to work, that's like physically manifesting in

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Speaker 1: your body.

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Speaker 4: It's a sign.

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Speaker 1: Dreading even on your days off, one that we've talked

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Speaker 1: about previously, but revenge procrastination. So if you're staying up

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Speaker 1: super super late just to get some time just for you,

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Speaker 1: and then the next day you're really really tired, and

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Speaker 1: then you're in this toxic cycle of staying up late

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Speaker 1: just to have time for yourself and then being tired,

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Speaker 1: random aches or throwing up from anxiety, crying before, during,

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Speaker 1: and after work. I think it's natural to have moments

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Speaker 1: of heightened emotion during stressful.

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Speaker 4: Times at work.

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Speaker 1: But if this is becoming a consistent thing and you're

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Speaker 1: constantly crying.

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Speaker 4: About your job and your work.

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Speaker 1: This is a sign that this is not serving you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's super unhealthy. Things like breakouts, skin rashes, missed periods,

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Speaker 1: these are all signs of stress manifesting in your body.

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Speaker 1: Also things like trouble sleeping.

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Speaker 4: Feeling like you're living in a loop.

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Speaker 1: This one was a massive one, like when right now?

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Speaker 1: This one is a massive one. I know at a

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Speaker 1: job that just was not good for me. That's exactly

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Speaker 1: how I felt. I felt like I was in groundhog

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Speaker 1: Day and every day was just exactly the same. And

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Speaker 1: then finally you're missing your sense of self exactly what

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Speaker 1: Gabriella has said, Like she just doesn't have her spark,

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Speaker 1: she doesn't feel like herself, and you kind of feel

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Speaker 1: like you lose that sense of purpose a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll listen to anything else, but we won't listen

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Speaker 2: to our own bodies and our own intuition. Often that's

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Speaker 2: the last thing that we'll pay attention to. And I

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Speaker 2: think that list is a really good one because maybe

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Speaker 2: you don't realize it, You don't realize how these things

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Speaker 2: are connected, but they are. So pay attention to your

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Speaker 2: body and respect it and leave any situation, whether it's

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Speaker 2: a job or a relationship or circumstance that's making you

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Speaker 2: feel like that because it's not right for you.

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Speaker 1: There's also a thing called a mental resignation, which I

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Speaker 1: love this. So it's basically switching to an indifferent work mode.

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Speaker 1: And as someone who very much put their self worth

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Speaker 1: and happiness as a direct relation to their success and

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Speaker 1: like how well they were doing it their job, even

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Speaker 1: when that job was like really toxic, I think this

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Speaker 1: could be really really helpful because it switches.

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Speaker 4: Your level of worth being tied to your work.

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Speaker 1: So it's basically not investing too much emotion to your job.

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Speaker 1: I know that sounds a lot easier than it sounds,

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Speaker 1: and it probably will be a bit of a process,

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Speaker 1: but it's basically not expecting any recognition or praise or

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Speaker 1: applause for that piece of your life and looking at

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Speaker 1: it more as in your job is to complete responsibilities

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Speaker 1: and tasks and do exactly what your job description is.

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Speaker 1: You go in, you do your job, and then you leave.

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Speaker 1: Your job is not you know, your happiness. It's not

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Speaker 1: your family, it's not your friends, it's not your smile,

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Speaker 1: your laugh, the mo moments that you think about that

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Speaker 1: kind of make you giggle to yourself, and it's more

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Speaker 1: about just doing your role. There was this quote from

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Speaker 1: matriarch Muses and they said, after all, work only buys

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Speaker 1: your time, it does not buy your emotions. So I

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Speaker 1: think when we are stuck in these roles and they

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Speaker 1: do fucking suck, obviously the best course for that is

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Speaker 1: getting out right. But that's not always like plausible, like

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Speaker 1: being like just get a different job, Like that's not

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Speaker 1: how hard it is hard to get a new job.

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Speaker 2: A lot of jobs.

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Speaker 1: Don't pay super well, and you have bills, the cost

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Speaker 1: of living.

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Speaker 4: It's fucking hectic.

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Speaker 1: People are getting made redundant more and more nowadays, so

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Speaker 1: just being like, Okay, just get a different job, Like, yes, obviously,

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Speaker 1: I think everyone in a toxic job that's the dream,

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Speaker 1: is like, yeah, dude, I think I fucking want that.

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Speaker 1: But that's obviously a lot harder than it sounds. So

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Speaker 1: taking more of an objective approach to these toxic work

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Speaker 1: conditions can sometimes help you distance emotionally. But at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, if you can leave, that's great

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Speaker 1: because you should trust your gut, your body, and your

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Speaker 1: intuition on what's serving you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it's crazy when you look at it, when you're

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Speaker 1: like out of it and you look back of all

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Speaker 1: the things that your body was telling you that like

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Speaker 1: this role is fucked.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, or like you see the impact that it has

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Speaker 2: on your relationship down things outside of work.

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Speaker 4: Get out of your fucking shitty jobs if you can.

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Speaker 1: But I think the life lesson and that is trust

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Speaker 1: your gut. Yeah, if you have to force it, it's

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Speaker 1: probably shit. It's my favorite saying in the whole fucking world.

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Speaker 1: It applies to everything. It's good Yeah, jobs, friends, relationships.

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Speaker 4: If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

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Speaker 1: All Right, We're going to read one from the Broke

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Speaker 1: chicks hotline, this is hectic, Okay, hey chicks. My worst

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Speaker 1: investment of twenty twenty four was agreeing to a budget

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Speaker 1: of two hundred dollars each for everyone's twenty first present

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Speaker 1: in our group. As there are nine of us, it

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Speaker 1: meant that each present ends up being worth sixteen hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: This felt like a good idea at the time, so

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Speaker 1: everyone could get something really special for their twenty first,

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Speaker 1: but has left me broke as fuck. Most of us

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Speaker 1: are still at UNI working part time, and I'm saving

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Speaker 1: up to go on exchange next year, so forking out

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Speaker 1: two hundred dollars once a month for a present actually

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Speaker 1: makes me feel sick.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: Holy shit.

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Speaker 1: So that means that every single friend is spending six hundred,

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Speaker 1: sixteen hundred dollars a year on their friend's birthday presents.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that doesn't even include if you're going

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Speaker 1: out for drinks, if you're buying something to wear to

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Speaker 1: their birthday, if they're having dinners, trip away, ubers, whatever

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Speaker 1: that is.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. I love the self reflection.

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Speaker 1: I love that she's been like, yeah, that was probably

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Speaker 1: not my best idea, but I can see how when

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Speaker 1: you're in the moment you're like, oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: And like, oh yeah, two hundred.

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Speaker 1: Dollars just thinking about the single two hundred dollars.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I do like the idea of having an agreed

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Speaker 2: amount that you can I love that, especially during milestone

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Speaker 2: years like a twenty first, twenty fifth, thirtieth kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: And I love that you all wanted to get each

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Speaker 1: other something really really special.

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Speaker 2: Came from a nice place. But when you think about

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Speaker 2: it over the course of a year, that is a

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Speaker 2: lot of money. I really hope you guys aren't going

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Speaker 2: to do it again next.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it, not for anyone's thirtieth, fiftieth, whatever that is.

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Speaker 1: I think that probably have all been like ooh, that'sah,

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Speaker 1: maybe a little bit much. Twenty first, like my group

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Speaker 1: of friends at the time did a very very similar

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Speaker 1: thing where we all put in fifty dollars, which even

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Speaker 1: fifty dollars felt like so much by the time you

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Speaker 1: get to like the sixth person, it's birthday, and it's

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Speaker 1: like or in July when everyone's freaking born.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, there's always birthdays, like there's a

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Speaker 2: cluster and there's at the same time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're like, oh my god, another one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my god. Yeah, that's a good one.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a great one. That's a good lesson learned.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, poor thing.

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Speaker 1: The Chicks Worst investments from twenty twenty four laser hair therapy,

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Speaker 1: fat freezing, and collagen.

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Speaker 2: Ooh interesting. I've never got any of those things. Collagen.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, have I tried like a college powder supprament

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Speaker 2: or powder? But not not really. I don't think I've

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Speaker 2: ever tried any of those things consistently or used them consistently.

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Speaker 2: Maybe been given them as part of a PR pack um,

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I can see that happening potentially. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think laser hair therapy has definitely had its moment

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Speaker 1: where people have discussed I think because the marketing for

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Speaker 1: it was like ten sessions and then you don't need

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Speaker 1: any and it's like everyone's like, wait, why have I

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Speaker 1: been doing this for seven years?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly. So I think that that is it. It's

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Speaker 2: the marketing. But I do we also do know people

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Speaker 2: who swear by it and still enjoy it and prefer

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Speaker 2: their convenience of going, you know, every couple of months

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Speaker 2: or whatever it is, rather than shaving or waxing every day.

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Speaker 2: But I think it really is a personal preference.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, look at someone who has definitely had over ten sessions.

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Speaker 1: I still have fucking hair in places that I was

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Speaker 1: receiving treatment. Yeah, but do you think that, like the

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Speaker 1: quality of it is better than if you were to

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Speaker 1: shave or wax. So yeah, like the hair is definitely thinner,

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Speaker 1: definitely less.

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Speaker 2: Cause and then you don't have to do it yourself

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Speaker 2: every day.

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Speaker 4: But here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: It's like I just felt like it was getting to

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Speaker 1: a point that it was so hard to get in

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Speaker 1: for appointments because it was like you go, you kind

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Speaker 1: of any fake tan on and they use like an

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Speaker 1: alcohol wipe and I'm like, girl, fake.

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Speaker 2: Tan is always going to shove up when you use

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Speaker 2: an hour wipe and they're like it will burn you,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, just do it.

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Speaker 1: I'll reap the consequences. I'm like, there's none there. But

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Speaker 1: like when you use an alcohol wipe, yes.

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Speaker 4: A little bit is going to come up.

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Speaker 1: I'm probably wrong, but like whatever, And then it's like

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Speaker 1: you can't go in the sun before, you can't go

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Speaker 1: in the sun after. To get a booking on like

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Speaker 1: the day of the week that you can go was

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Speaker 1: really really hard, and I would see a difference definitely,

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Speaker 1: But I haven't gone in quite a while, and like

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Speaker 1: if I shave like the hairs going back like two

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Speaker 1: days later, yeah, you know, regular, which like is annoying,

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Speaker 1: especially after having so many sessions.

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Speaker 4: So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think I would probably agree with that because it

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Speaker 1: worked at the time. It worked when I was doing it,

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Speaker 1: but then it's just like, is this like this is

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Speaker 1: like what's the point? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: If it never ends, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: An ex worst investment of twenty twenty or from the

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Speaker 2: Chicks gym membership only went once CrossFit membership the gym. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm sensing a pattern here. I oh god, five hundred

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Speaker 2: dollars on a meal plan. Whoa, Okay, So there were

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Speaker 2: some common ones there. I think that is so relatable,

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Speaker 2: and that's one that we also get every year, and

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Speaker 2: it comes down to is this something that you were

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Speaker 2: doing before or is this something that you think that

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Speaker 2: you'll really want to do. It's actually one of mine.

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Speaker 2: It would be one of my worst investments of the

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Speaker 2: year is changing my gym membership and doing one that

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Speaker 2: didn't align with the routine that I already had and

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Speaker 2: trying to be like, oh, but I can change it

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Speaker 2: to do this, and I think sometimes that can work.

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Speaker 2: You can always shake up your routine. But for me,

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Speaker 2: it was just like, didn't line up close to where

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Speaker 2: I live, It wasn't convenient, didn't really work work with

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Speaker 2: the times that I usually go, and I was trying

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Speaker 2: to like force a square peg into a round hole.

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Speaker 2: And that's like advice that we give all the time.

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Speaker 2: So don't be too hard in yourself as well, and

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Speaker 2: don't let them not let you cancel.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Cancelations for like any subscriptions are hard on purpose. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they make the process difficult. Like if you call, they'll

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Speaker 1: be like, no, you've got to go online, and then

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00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,680
Speaker 1: you've got to send them an email and then you've

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Speaker 1: got to fill out a form and then like and

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Speaker 1: then it's two weeks from that, and it's like it's

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Speaker 1: on purpose that I think the process of cancelations and

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Speaker 1: canceling subscriptions and memberships needs to have like more of

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Speaker 1: a legal process to it, because it's fucked.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, we need an audit into that, Like

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Speaker 2: you should just be able to go on log in

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Speaker 2: and be like cancel and do it yourself, and do

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Speaker 2: it yourself, like.

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Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to contact someone to get a fucking

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Speaker 1: fum back three days later.

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Speaker 2: And it changes all the time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I find it's.

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Speaker 1: Confusing on purpose, and it's so annoying. Yeah. And it's

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Speaker 1: been like there's even like insurance that I'm like an

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Speaker 1: email and they're like, no, you have to call us,

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Speaker 1: and I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like and then you call and they're like, oh, but

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Speaker 2: you have to send an email.

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Speaker 4: Yes, And I'm like that, Yeah, don't lie to me,

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Speaker 4: you fucking liar.

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Speaker 2: Worst investment of twenty twenty four. One of the chicks said,

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Speaker 2: being a bridesmaid. I want more details, but it's expensive.

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people would agree to that.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if there's like a statistic that is, like

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Speaker 1: the cost of being a bridesmaid.

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Speaker 4: Let's look it up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because we've spoken about the cost of being a

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Speaker 2: wedding guest, but being a bridesmaid would be a different story.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I found a Reddit thread, which is always a scary

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Speaker 1: place to be.

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Speaker 2: Huh.

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Speaker 1: All right, so one person said it costs them five

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Speaker 1: hundred dollars to one thousand dollars every time they were

397
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Speaker 1: a bridesmaid. The cost included dress, hair, makeup, nails, bachelorette party,

398
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Speaker 1: and bridal shower. Another person said, I'm almost at two

399
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Speaker 1: thousand dollars, including flights for me and my fiancee to

400
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Speaker 1: get there, and it's not including the bachelor party because

401
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Speaker 1: that hasn't even been planned yet. Someone said they recently

402
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Speaker 1: spent six hundred dollars for all of those expenses, that

403
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 1: it felt reasonable and nothing was unexpected or forced. That's good,

404
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 1: which is good. It's glad, glad that there's some positive ones.

405
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Speaker 1: Someone just said too much, laugh my ass off, never again.

406
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Speaker 1: Ah Oh, I've been a bridesmaid three times and it

407
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Speaker 1: cost me twenty eight dollars. My sister's wedding. Just bought

408
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Speaker 1: a dress and shoes, no shower, no bachelor party. Thirty

409
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Speaker 1: dollars for my best friend. Her mum paid for my

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Speaker 1: dress in the hotel room the brides made shared the

411
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Speaker 1: night before, and four hundhundred and fifty dollars for my

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Speaker 1: friend from college, one hundred and fifty dollars on a dress,

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Speaker 1: and three hundred dollars for the bachelorette. Someone paid seven thousand,

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Speaker 1: two hundred and ninety.

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Speaker 4: Dollars on what they said.

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Speaker 1: I paid one hundred and fifty dollars for the dress,

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Speaker 1: one hundred dollars for the shoes, twenty dollars for the earrings,

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Speaker 1: seven hundred dollars for the hens as it was interstate,

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Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty dollars for nails and fake tan,

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Speaker 1: two hundred dollars for catering while we got ready. Why

421
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Speaker 1: do I feel like that shouldn't be a brides made

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Speaker 1: expense and six thousand dollars for the wedding gift?

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Speaker 4: What what did you get?

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Speaker 1: But not in real money as I did contra in

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Speaker 1: my business for her for wedding flowers. I paid again

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Speaker 1: in a heartbeat because she's my bestie. Okay, so interesting,

427
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Speaker 1: So many people in this article it's like one thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars like minimum.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you think about it, because I don't

430
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Speaker 2: want this to come across as just super negative, because

431
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Speaker 2: I know that we've spoken about this in the past,

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Speaker 2: and I don't want anybody to feel like, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's a waste of money or anything, because it's not like,

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Speaker 2: you know, you're sharing a really beautiful day with somebody

435
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Speaker 2: that you care about. But I think it's giving the

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Speaker 2: people in your bridal party the choice one to.

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Speaker 4: Communicate their budget.

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Speaker 1: I do think it is important to acknowledge though, that

439
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Speaker 1: not having these conversations and not talking about how it's

440
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Speaker 1: unfair to expect people in your bridal party to spend

441
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 1: so much is why we do get so many people

442
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 1: reaching out about how their friendships have fallen apart due

443
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: to being a bridesmaid.

444
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 4: Exactly. Like, I completely.

445
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 1: Agree with you that it's not at all ragging on anyone, yeah,

446
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 1: or anybody having an expensive wedding or you know, their

447
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 1: bridesmaids have spent a lot of money. But I think

448
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 1: the fact that it's a taboo conversation to talk about

449
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: money with your friends and you kind of just like,

450
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 1: hope no one says anything, yeah, and you're just like,

451
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 1: there's so much it is to heat moving on.

452
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like that's.

453
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 1: A reason why a lot of people do fall apart

454
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: in friendships due to being a bridesmaid or involved in

455
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: the wedding at in some way. Yeah, So having like

456
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 1: clear boundaries and clear budgets with bridesmaids and friends is

457
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 1: really really important and again giving them the choice exactly

458
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: what you said, because once you're in it you don't

459
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: really want to be like, oh, this is too much money.

460
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 4: I don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore.

461
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like that's when it usually comes up.

462
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 2: It's sort of resentment starts being right before the wedding,

463
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 2: or you hear stories of bridesmaids and after the wedding

464
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 2: they never speak to the bride again, Like how awful

465
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:35,920
Speaker 2: is that?

466
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 1: And I think when you go in and you have

467
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: that open conversation, people will be so much more excited

468
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: and happy, and it makes the whole process a lot

469
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: nicer rather.

470
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,119
Speaker 4: Than people being like, fuck, there's another bill.

471
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 2: Well, that's a wrap on our worst investments. Should we

472
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 2: get into advice with the chick, let's do it?

473
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 1: Is it normal to have no sex and rarely orgasm

474
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: during sex?

475
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 4: Recently I find I have absolutely no libido.

476
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 1: I've been with my partner for three years now and

477
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 1: I'm still super attracted to him, but for some reason,

478
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 1: I just have no urge to have sex. I don't

479
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: know what I can do. I have always been super

480
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: in my head during sex. Even though I feel comfortable

481
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: and safe, I can never seem to orgasm. I would

482
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: love any tips on ways to increase my libido and

483
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 1: getting closer to finishing first things. First, I want to

484
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: kind of normalize that that is such a.

485
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 4: Common, normal thing that so many.

486
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: People experience in relationships and out of relationships. Your libido

487
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,479
Speaker 1: is not some lack constant thing that just is like

488
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,679
Speaker 1: always there and just is like vibing all the time.

489
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 4: Like you do not always want to have sex.

490
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,880
Speaker 1: That is okay, there's this thing that we feel bad

491
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: or lack we should always want to have sex all

492
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: the time, like being horny is the goal, which it's

493
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: just not like it's just a myth. It's like something

494
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:10,199
Speaker 1: that we've been taught from like movies and books and

495
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 1: TV shows that it's like, you know, you're always ready.

496
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 4: To get down.

497
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.

498
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 4: Sex is a task, like sex is a thing to do.

499
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 1: So when you're overwhelmed, or you're stressed, or life feels

500
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: really busy, or you feel like you're barely kind of

501
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 1: getting through your to do list, sex can feel like

502
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: mature and another thing that you just have to do.

503
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 1: And so recognizing that you may not have the emotional

504
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: and mental and physical capacity to be intimate with someone

505
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 1: completely alleviates you of that pressure.

506
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 4: And when you alleviate pressure on yourself.

507
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: You'll find that that's when you kind of bring in

508
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 1: and reintroduce yourself to want. When you no longer need

509
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,959
Speaker 1: to do something out of necessity, you'll find that you

510
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: want to.

511
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 4: Do it out of privilege or like.

512
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: Pursuing it because you're like, oh, I don't have to,

513
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: I want to, and it completely changes your perspective of it.

514
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Also, not everybody has an orgasm

515
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 2: doing penetrative sex. Yeah, so there's also that maybe that's

516
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 2: not what works for you. It could be a matter

517
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 2: of experimenting with something else, with toys or with a

518
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 2: different type of pleasure for you and see how that works.

519
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 2: Because I think it's definitely a good sign that you're

520
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 2: still attracted to your partner and you still want to

521
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 2: feel close and intimate with them. But just because you're

522
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 2: not having an orgasm during sex, that doesn't mean that

523
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 2: there's something wrong with you.

524
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 4: That's also not the goal.

525
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 1: No, the goal of sex is to have like an intimate,

526
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 1: caring attraction moment with someone, and we're kind of taught that,

527
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: like the goal is to finish right, especially for the man. Yeah,

528
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,719
Speaker 1: sex is done a lot of the times, especially in

529
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: like things like movies and porn and shit like that

530
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: when the man finishes, right. And so while I completely

531
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 1: validate that, like, of course you want to finish, like

532
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 1: that's a good time. Yeah, that's not what you have

533
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, it's not like the only goal that

534
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: you can have when you're having sex with a partner.

535
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 1: So it's like take away that like, Okay, I have

536
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: to be horny, Okay, I have to finish, and if

537
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 1: I didn't, then that was a waste of time or

538
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: whatever it is.

539
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,360
Speaker 4: I think another thing that's really.

540
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: Important to learn is how you kind of get.

541
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 4: That rise in libido.

542
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 1: So for a lot of women, they don't have like

543
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 1: spontaneous libido, And it's this thing we learned about with

544
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: our episode with g Spot, and it's basically like how

545
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 1: you get horny, and so some people will just randomly

546
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: have like a spike in their hormones and be like, yep,

547
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 1: I'm down, Whereas for a lot of women, especially, it's

548
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 1: reaction based and what causes that can be so so

549
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 1: different depending on different people. So it might be like

550
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: your partner sending you like a naughty text message during

551
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: the day, or it might be them like making out

552
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 1: with you for like a good thirty minutes and like

553
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 1: really investing in full play, Like you might not be

554
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: like horny to start that full play, but you'll get.

555
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,160
Speaker 4: Horny during that full play.

556
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,159
Speaker 1: Yeah. And one thing that you can do and we

557
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 1: recently went and had a facial with love Honey, not

558
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: in the way that you think, and they had where

559
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: you could go to Faceille, which is a dermatologist clinic

560
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: and then afterwards you would have a what would you say,

561
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 1: like a session with a sex sexologist. And I was

562
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 1: kind of saying the same thing to her. I was like,

563
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: sometimes I just am like, oh, yeah, shit, gotta do that.

564
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: Not in that way, not that it's a tool, but

565
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 1: like I'm so reaction based, and sometimes I will also

566
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: get into my head about like I don't feel like

567
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: doing that all the time. And one thing that you

568
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: can do is focus on pleasure first, desire second. So

569
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: maybe that's using a toy or making out or saying

570
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 1: all the little things or playing a game, and you

571
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 1: focus on the genuine physical feeling of pleasure first and

572
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: then the desire will follow that. And that's a really

573
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: cool thing that you could potentially look at doing.

574
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely when I spoke with the sexologists when

575
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 2: we went to that session. I was saying, how sometimes

576
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 2: I'll get in my head and I can't stop thinking

577
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 2: about other things that aren't that take me out of

578
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 2: that moment.

579
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 4: They got to put the washing out.

580
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 2: Yeah and yeah, and it's just like done like a media.

581
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: I'm taken out of it and it's really hard to

582
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 2: get back into that mode. And she was also suggesting,

583
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: and you mentioned that you get in your head, you know,

584
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 2: when you're having sex. So she mentioned that having like

585
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 2: different steps that you put in place to remind yourself,

586
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 2: like this is sexy time, and to give yourself permission

587
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 2: to let go of those other things that might be

588
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: on your mind. So that could be having a nice,

589
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 2: warm shower and like using all of your lotions and

590
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 2: potions and putting on like a sexy outfit or like

591
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 2: nice pajamas or whatever it is, and then maybe putting

592
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 2: on a playlist that'll get you in the mood, and

593
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 2: having those physical steps in place that allows you to

594
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 2: switch off. And I think all of those things will

595
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 2: vary depending on what you're into, but you also could

596
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 2: figure out what your like pre sex routine is to

597
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: get you in the mood.

598
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: And one thing that you can do during sex if

599
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: you find that your mind is wandering is like verbally

600
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: recentering yourself. That was one of the things she also said.

601
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 1: It was like, cause your brain will wander and or

602
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: maybe get in your head that you can verbally be like, oh,

603
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: you look so hot, like oh, I love it when

604
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: you do that, and you can verbally like speak to

605
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 1: your partner because that kind of forces you to kind

606
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: of go back to the moment. And when she was

607
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 1: doing that, she kept saying all the stuff and then

608
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: I started getting really horny.

609
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 2: I like shit, and she was like, and it was

610
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 2: the same thing that happened in that episode with.

611
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: G' spot when she was like using descriptive language and

612
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 1: I felt myself getting all hot.

613
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 4: I started laughing.

614
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: I was like, sorry, I'm getting horny, and she was like,

615
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're an audio person. Yeah, So she

616
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 1: was like, most people are like visual, like if they

617
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: see something like that they think is hot, that's when

618
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 1: they get horny.

619
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 4: But for me, it's when I hear something that I

620
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 4: think is hot.

621
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: So like if someone says something hot or like yeah,

622
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 1: if they're just talking to me in a way that

623
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 1: I'm like that's fucking hot and I'm like, oh, book.

624
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 4: Took, I've done this.

625
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 2: This is so huge. Yeah, but I think even recognizing

626
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 2: what that is, Yeah, it could be sound, So whether

627
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: that is like talking or like the sounds that you

628
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 2: know happen during the morning the morning. Other things moaning

629
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 2: is hot smack men need to moan, but speak up

630
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 2: for yourself, ken or yeah, the feeling or if you

631
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 2: are more of a visual person like your partner looking

632
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 2: really hot, like work are the way. Yeah, figure out

633
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 2: what that is for you and focus on that and

634
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: that will help keep you in the moment. We'll put

635
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 2: some links in the show notes to our episodes with

636
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 2: g Spoks. I think there'll be a lot of really

637
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 2: good advice within those episodes for you as well. One

638
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 2: hundred percent.

639
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: But I think the main thing that to take away

640
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: is that having a low sex drive or not finishing

641
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: during sex is a completely normal thing and so many people,

642
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: so many people experience the exact same thing, including us.

643
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 1: So like, do not feel like you are a weird

644
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: purple crab, just like working through the world that you're

645
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: like way my lowly.

646
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, it's so normal. You're a good baby girl.

647
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 2: You're real good, honey good.

648
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 1: Thank you soo much for having us in your ear holes.

649
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: We love to be here and we'll see you on

650
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: Thursday for our final episode of twenty twenty four.

651
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: We'll see you then, checks you, then bye bye. Thanks

652
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 2: to m I K making today's episode happened, Let Me Bye,