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Speaker 1: Mellow Calarco. Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Great to be here.

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Speaker 1: It is Spits And we met the other day in

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Speaker 1: our village.

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Speaker 3: So you are the first ever person on the podcast

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Speaker 3: from the same village as we and but we actually

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Speaker 3: I didn't know we lived in the same villages until

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Speaker 3: we met a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 2: Ago, exactly exactly. And Amazon suggests that our two books

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Speaker 2: are frequently bought together, so it says that often, and

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Speaker 2: I thought, well, you live in the same village, we

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Speaker 2: should get together for a couple and have a coffee

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Speaker 2: together and tea together. So it worked out really well.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, And so we are both best selling, multiple award winning.

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Speaker 1: Authors from Mantle. You know what I think we did.

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Speaker 3: See if there's a third one, it'd be good to

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Speaker 3: have a trifecta in the village.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to any award winning authors in Eliza please.

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Speaker 3: So, man, before we get into talking about burnout, because

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Speaker 3: you've written a book on burnout. You do coaching for

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Speaker 3: seals and athletes and all of that sort of stuff.

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Speaker 3: But you were telling me the other day you actually

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Speaker 3: have a very interesting background. Younger years, like I did

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Speaker 3: a lot of travel, but you cycle thirty thousand kilometers

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Speaker 3: around the world.

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Speaker 1: So tell me what inspired you to do that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and just talk our listeners through the journey.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sure. So had the crazy idea to cycle

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Speaker 2: trek and travel around the world for around about two

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Speaker 2: or three years and end up through Africa and India.

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Speaker 2: And actually there was five of us that had the idea,

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Speaker 2: five or six of us, five of my mates. So

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Speaker 2: let's go around the world on mountain bikes and let's

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Speaker 2: go see the planet. And unfortunately, one by one they

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Speaker 2: all bailed on me as we started. We started getting

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Speaker 2: the mass as it got yeah, yeah, the reality setting.

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Speaker 2: We got the maps, you know, the micheline maps of

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Speaker 2: Africa and you know the Congo and Nigeria and all

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Speaker 2: those sort of stuff. So one by one they sort

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Speaker 2: of like stepped out on me and said, no, I'm

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Speaker 2: not doing it, which put me in the position of like,

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Speaker 2: do I do this solo or do I not do it?

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Speaker 2: Do I bail myself? And I went for it, went

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Speaker 2: and I went solo. So the inspiration was more like

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Speaker 2: I just wanted more out of life. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: see the planet, and I was practicing martial arts and

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Speaker 2: meditation and things, and I wanted to go stay in

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Speaker 2: monasteries and temples around the world to immerse myself in

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Speaker 2: the spiritual practices. But I'm also very interested in indigenous

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Speaker 2: cultures and different places of the world. So wherever I

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Speaker 2: did stay, most of the time it was with indigenous people,

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Speaker 2: and most of the time it was in monasteries and

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Speaker 2: temples and churches and whatever it was around the world.

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Speaker 2: So the inspiration was just to see the planet and

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Speaker 2: get more out of life because I knew there was

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Speaker 2: more to what I was doing too at the time.

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Speaker 1: Wow, and how or what are you at the time?

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Speaker 2: Twenty odd years ago? So disclosing my age in my thirties? Yeah, thirty?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yeah, wow, So that that's amazing. And how

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Speaker 3: long how long did it actually take you?

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Speaker 1: How long were you away?

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Speaker 2: Plans changed along the way a lot, So I caught

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Speaker 2: malaria in Africa nearly killed.

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Speaker 1: Me, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all sorts of funky as you can imagine living

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Speaker 2: with indigenous people and eating their food.

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Speaker 3: So but because we are we are in the west,

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Speaker 3: we are just not robust, are we. I got all

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Speaker 3: sorts of in the Amazon jungle, whereas the locals are

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Speaker 3: just they're adapted.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they are. We could talk about all those diseases

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Speaker 2: all day, right, But yeah, so the plans changed along

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Speaker 2: the way, and I did have to hang up my

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Speaker 2: bike for a while and went up trekking through the Himalayas.

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Speaker 2: But in short, in answer to that question, around about

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Speaker 2: two and a half to three years of that trekking

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Speaker 2: and cycling component of it, and then I ended up

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Speaker 2: meeting my wife in Africa crossing the Western Sahara, and

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Speaker 2: I ended up, as you not.

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Speaker 1: A story that you hear every day.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I met Kylie in Ecuador, but it wasn't

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Speaker 3: crossing the sha Yeah.

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Speaker 2: On the back on the back of one of these

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Speaker 2: big orange trucks. I had to sort of throw my

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Speaker 2: bike on there because it was a land mine area

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Speaker 2: through Mauritania and Morocco. And yeah, she was a tour

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Speaker 2: guy and on one of these trucks, one of those

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Speaker 2: overland traveled trucks from the UK ah Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we met there and we traveled then. So the trekking

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Speaker 2: and cycling part was about two and a half years.

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Speaker 2: Then Killer and I we cycled and trecked and did

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Speaker 2: all sorts of crazy stuff together again for probably another

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Speaker 2: four or five years actually, so all in all around

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Speaker 2: about seven years of trekking the planet.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's amazing, and it goes I mean, I've done

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Speaker 3: it for a bit of travel, not to the extent

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Speaker 3: that you have, but it really does ship you, doesn't it.

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Speaker 1: You cannot go and travel.

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Speaker 3: Particularly in more Third world countries and indigenous cultures, you

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Speaker 3: just can't spend time there and not be must affected.

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Speaker 3: What were some of the big tear comes and lessons

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Speaker 3: for you on that journey?

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Speaker 2: Think about everything in life, resilience rising above adversity, all

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Speaker 2: these lessons that I learned on the road, and that's

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Speaker 2: where I definitely shaped who I am today. And in

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Speaker 2: many ways, I'm actually glad I did it on my own.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad the other five bailed on me because I

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Speaker 2: could spend as much time as I liked in the

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Speaker 2: villages and the places where it resonated with me. So

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Speaker 2: there's all those lessons on resilience and making decisions and

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Speaker 2: being clear. Believing in yourself was probably one of the

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Speaker 2: biggest ones, Like really believing that I had the resources

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Speaker 2: inside of me to get through any situation, no matter what,

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Speaker 2: whether it was machine guns in my ribs in Rwanda,

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Speaker 2: or whether it was a storm that I was stuck in.

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Speaker 2: I had to meditate for twelve hours to survive this storm.

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Speaker 2: But really believing in no matter what life throws at

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Speaker 2: me on this adventure, but in life in general, I've

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Speaker 2: always got the resources inside of me and I just

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Speaker 2: have to really tap into that. So that definitely shaped way.

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Speaker 2: And many people always ask me what was the hardest

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Speaker 2: thing or what was the toughest thing, what was the

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Speaker 2: most challenging. Yes, there was near death experiences, but I

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Speaker 2: was also humbled by the kindness of strangers. I was

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Speaker 2: humbled by some of these countries, these developing countries where

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Speaker 2: they have absolutely nothing, but they invite you into their

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Speaker 2: home and they look you in and next minute, you know,

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Speaker 2: you're drinking yak butter tea in some funny little village,

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Speaker 2: and I was really really surprised by that.

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Speaker 3: Actually, it's really interesting the belief in yourself right, which

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Speaker 3: leads us into a conversation around around burnout. And this

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Speaker 3: may be a bit premature in the conversation, but the

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Speaker 3: whole challenge and threat and how.

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Speaker 1: People perceive stress is absolutely massive.

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Speaker 3: And I was actually talking about this in a workshop

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Speaker 3: yesterday that if there are two people, say me and you,

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Speaker 3: presented with the same adversity, and I view it as

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Speaker 3: a threat and you view it as a challenge, it

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Speaker 3: completely changes our physiology, and it changes the motivation, it

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Speaker 3: changes the behavior. Right, So having a challenge orientation is very,

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Speaker 3: very protective against burnout. But and this is the thing

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Speaker 3: that a lot.

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Speaker 1: Of people don't talk about.

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Speaker 3: You need to believe that you have the resources to

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Speaker 3: be able to overcome it, right, And that's where doing

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Speaker 3: hard stuff actually comes into it. That your life experiences

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Speaker 3: that you've had then you hit the nail on the head,

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Speaker 3: gives you your belief in yourself that you can actually

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Speaker 3: overcome stuff because that then has a massive effect on

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Speaker 3: how stress works. And I'm preaching to the converted to

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Speaker 3: you because you've written a bloody book on burnout, right,

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Speaker 3: But I think right from the start, getting the listeners

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Speaker 3: aware of that is pretty key. But then leads into

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Speaker 3: you know why some people bonote and some people don't bonoe.

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Speaker 3: But before we dig into it, why did you decide

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Speaker 3: to write a book on beating bonote and finding violent balance?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Originally it wasn't going to be that. Actually, to be honest,

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Speaker 2: it was a bit of a journey in the process.

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Speaker 2: So I've always helped people. I've always done work where

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Speaker 2: I'm supporting people in different ways and shapes and forms,

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Speaker 2: and mindfulness underpins a lot of the work that I do,

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Speaker 2: so mindfulness is a big factor of what I do.

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Speaker 2: So originally it was going to be a Mindfulness for

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Speaker 2: Leadership actually in book when I first started thinking about it.

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Speaker 2: But as I was writing it, I thought, you know what,

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Speaker 2: this book's for everybody, and this book's all about finding

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Speaker 2: balance and preventing burnout. So and it was born out

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Speaker 2: of a mission to help more people because a lot

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Speaker 2: of my work is probably similar to you. You know,

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Speaker 2: I work in many corporate companies. I deliver workshops, programs, keynotes,

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Speaker 2: and public speaking. So a lot of the work that

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Speaker 2: I do is in house. You know, people know me

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Speaker 2: in that company and people you know work and are

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Speaker 2: familiar with it. But out in the big vast world,

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Speaker 2: not many people know my work. So I thought, I

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Speaker 2: want to get this book out to support as many

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Speaker 2: people as possible, And so that's where the idea was born.

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Speaker 2: Out of my mission to support and help a billion

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Speaker 2: people on this planet. And I still get emails weekly

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Speaker 2: from my book that says, you know, your books saved

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Speaker 2: my life, or your books helped me through a cancer diagnosis,

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Speaker 2: or your books helped me through a difficult time or

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Speaker 2: a difficult marriage. So I think my book's doing what

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Speaker 2: I wanted it to do, just to help as many

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Speaker 2: people as possible. But I just wanted to get something

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Speaker 2: out there in the public that people can't access me

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Speaker 2: in the corporate world. They can access me through this

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Speaker 2: sort of book and other TEDx talk that I did

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Speaker 2: recently also, so just getting it out and then I

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Speaker 2: think the world needed it. At the time, it was

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Speaker 2: just post COVID, so I was after that, so a

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Speaker 2: lot of mental health issues, a lot of the people

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Speaker 2: around me were struggling, and I thought, if I've got

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Speaker 2: some tools and techniques that can help people right now

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Speaker 2: here it is, I'll put it in the book to share.

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Speaker 1: And that post COVID, I think is is really relevant.

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Speaker 3: I was writing some data the other day actually that

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Speaker 3: between fifty and sixty five percent of people in the UK,

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Speaker 3: United States, America, Singapore, India are all feeling signs of

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Speaker 3: burnout post COVID because COVID, I think, in and of itself,

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Speaker 3: was clearly a massive event that impacted people and impacted

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Speaker 3: their stress. But I think one of the things that

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Speaker 3: people don't really think about is that COVID made people

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Speaker 3: hyper vigilant to stress and threat We know that if

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Speaker 3: you're constantly exposed to stress as we were in COVID,

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Speaker 3: particularly at Melbourne with two hundred and seventy three days

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Speaker 3: a long time, it actually makes the amygdala grow and

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Speaker 3: become more sensitive and hyper vigilant to stress and threats.

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Speaker 3: So people's brains become more negative. And so the these

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Speaker 3: are the bloody, lingering effects of COVID and particularly the

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Speaker 3: lockdomet But let's just for the for the ontank. Most

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Speaker 3: people have a sense of what bonot is, but give

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Speaker 3: us your definition of bnot.

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Speaker 2: We'll give you the who's definition first, and then you

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Speaker 2: know my take on that. And you've probably heard it

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Speaker 2: and probably seen it. Many people have heard this, you know,

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Speaker 2: over the years. Here, So in twenty nineteen, this is

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Speaker 2: their version and by the way, this is their eleventh revision,

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Speaker 2: so actually they've changed it eleven times. So you know,

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Speaker 2: burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as chronic workplace stress that

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Speaker 2: has not been successfully managed. So that's their definition. I

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Speaker 2: like it. It's getting closer. But the word workplace in there,

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Speaker 2: you know, it doesn't have to be there. It could

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Speaker 2: just be chronic stress. So it could be financial stress,

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Speaker 2: it could be relationship stress, it could be family stress,

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Speaker 2: it could be illness or whatever it is. So let's

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Speaker 2: remove that word workplace or sort of fade it out.

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Speaker 2: So it's essentially chronic stress that has not been successfully managed.

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Speaker 2: And usually it's cumulative over a period of time, so

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Speaker 2: it either sneaks up on you or it's sort of

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Speaker 2: sneaking away in the background there, And it could be weeks,

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Speaker 2: it could be months, it could be years. Some of

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Speaker 2: my clients it could be an instant nervous breakdown, but

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Speaker 2: it's been this accumulation of stress that they haven't managed.

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Speaker 2: It turns into that alistatic stress or alostatic load, and

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Speaker 2: then it's like burnout, and burnout is the end result.

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Speaker 2: Of course, it's like dysfunctional, no longer functional. And the

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Speaker 2: three main criteria probably aware of in terms of the

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Speaker 2: WHO version is number one is that absolute sheer, exhaustion

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Speaker 2: and depletion and fatigue, not just stress where you have

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Speaker 2: a good night's sleep and you wake up the next

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Speaker 2: day and you feel better. This is like, it doesn't

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Speaker 2: matter how much sleep you get, you just got nothing left.

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Speaker 2: So that absolute exhaustion. Number two is that feeling of detachment,

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Speaker 2: feeling a bit disassociated with the world around you, not

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Speaker 2: connected with your peers or your colleagues or your family,

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Speaker 2: maybe a bit more cynical and complaining more than usual.

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Speaker 2: So that's number two. And then number three is that

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Speaker 2: lack of professional efficacy. So just a thing that would

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Speaker 2: all be easy for you is just hard. It's difficult,

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Speaker 2: it's challenging, and making more errors less efficient. So that's

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Speaker 2: the three criteria, and I'm sure many of our listeners

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Speaker 2: here have probably experienced one or two of those from

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Speaker 2: time to time, but it is the prolonged sort of

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Speaker 2: exposure to that, and then you know that constant cumulative

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Speaker 2: effect that it has on us.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's a really important point, that the cumulation.

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Speaker 1: And you're saying it's not.

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Speaker 3: Just workplace, right, because people can be going along and

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Speaker 3: be in a reasonably stressful work environment but coping well

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Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden one of their kids

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Speaker 3: gets depression, right, and that just tips them over the edge,

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Speaker 3: or they have a marriage breakup, or there's something there's

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Speaker 3: financial stress. And this is the thing is that it's

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Speaker 3: not just like you're just doesn't compartmentalize stress, right, It

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Speaker 3: is cumulative. Or somebody gets a chronic health condition and

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Speaker 3: that then increases the allo static load on the body.

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Speaker 3: And so it's looking at all of the different sources

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Speaker 3: of stress in your life is really really important, right,

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Speaker 3: And it can be just a job that you could

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Speaker 3: normally do, but then there's some significant life events or

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Speaker 3: an ongoing stressful issue in your life that can actually

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Speaker 3: tip you over the edge.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. And when we say tip you over the edge,

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Speaker 2: that tipping point, it's there in the background anyway. You know,

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Speaker 2: when I did write the book, and I interviewed around

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Speaker 2: two hundred thought leaders, professionals, executives, athletes, whole range of

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Speaker 2: different people, and ninety percent of them didn't even realize

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Speaker 2: they were burning out until it was too late. Ninety

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Speaker 2: percent didn't even realize they knew something wasn't quite right there,

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Speaker 2: something was not quite right. I feel a bit tired

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Speaker 2: or feel fatigued. And of the of the camp, the

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Speaker 2: ones that did realize it a little bit, they either

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Speaker 2: didn't have the tools or techniques to get out of it.

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Speaker 2: They didn't know what to do, they didn't have any

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Speaker 2: any support there or the other ones just kept powering

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Speaker 2: on and charging on anyway. They knew something wasn't right,

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Speaker 2: But I'm just going to keep you know, finish that

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Speaker 2: last thing and keep doing that. So the self awareness

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Speaker 2: piece is number one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely key, And I actually had that

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Speaker 3: in a question for you about about the role.

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Speaker 1: Of self for Warner.

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Speaker 3: So let's let's do a deep dive into that, because

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Speaker 3: what are and to your mind? And I can sort

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Speaker 3: of chip in with some ideas as well here, But

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Speaker 3: what are some of the signs and symptoms that you're

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Speaker 3: starting to go down the slope?

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Speaker 1: I actually use when I talk about but I use a.

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Speaker 3: Whirlpools as the as the kind of descriptive, because the

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Speaker 3: lower down you get, the stronger the downward poll actually becomes.

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Speaker 1: Right, it's not like a slope, it's a pool dime.

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Speaker 1: So what would some early sayings be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the earlier ones, usually the ones we notice are

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Speaker 2: the physical ones, you know, usually we feel it physically.

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Speaker 2: By then it's already like you're halfway down the whirlpool.

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Speaker 2: To be honest, that's happening. So the physical things, it

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Speaker 2: could be tightness in the shoulder, It could be tightness

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Speaker 2: in the jaw. It could be clenching your jaw. Everybody

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Speaker 2: feels stressed differently. It could be migraine's headaches. It could

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Speaker 2: be even lower back pain or tension through the whole body.

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Speaker 2: Of those typical fight and flight response things there that

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Speaker 2: we feel in the body. So that's the physical ones.

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Speaker 2: Also behavioral and emotion it could be just snappier, you know,

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Speaker 2: like more reactive than usual, losing your temper, losing your

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Speaker 2: cool more than you would you know, you might keep

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Speaker 2: it together all day at work, but the moment you

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Speaker 2: get home, yeah, it gets right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, that's right, because because it just it just

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Speaker 3: builds and mills exactly.

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Speaker 2: And also also it could be withdrawal. It could be

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Speaker 2: like withdrawing from meetings and showing your face on the

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Speaker 2: zom screen or not going to meetings, or withdrawing from

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Speaker 2: any social activities. So all of these things are happening,

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Speaker 2: but very often we notice these things and we just

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Speaker 2: ignore them. I'll just keep going. I always use the

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Speaker 2: analogy a bit like driving the car, you know, and

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Speaker 2: the oil light pops up. That's fine, I'll just keep going. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then the temperature gauge lifts up. That's fine, I'll

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Speaker 2: just keep going. So eventually you know that car is

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Speaker 2: going to burn out and break down, same as us.

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Speaker 2: But we see these little signs and we either ignore

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Speaker 2: them or we just don't know what to do. We

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Speaker 2: don't know how to get out of them. So it

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Speaker 2: is about Number one is self awareness. And there's also

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Speaker 2: for me when it comes to self awareness, there's like

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Speaker 2: board or baseline self awareness, which is just like the

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Speaker 2: usual things. You might notice the physical sensations in the body,

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Speaker 2: you might notice how you're feeling or what you're thinking

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Speaker 2: in some of your thoughts, but there's also a deeper

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Speaker 2: self awareness, like this deeper level of self awareness, and

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Speaker 2: then you know something's not right. So there's sort of

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Speaker 2: almost like this gut feeling and you have to act

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Speaker 2: on that. You have to do something about that.

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Speaker 4: Often the early stages, like the really early stages before

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Speaker 4: people notice, you know, people, they get sucked into mindless multitasking,

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Speaker 4: right and and just procrastinating.

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Speaker 1: That that's a sign that.

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Speaker 3: That you're you're stressed often and that your brain is

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Speaker 3: going O that ship over there is too hard, but

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Speaker 3: I want to pretend that I'm doing stuff right, you

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Speaker 3: end up doing this And I think another early sign

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Speaker 3: is is just a bit of apathy. Right, we just

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Speaker 3: kind of go I'm a bit bur right, and I

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Speaker 3: think a lot of people will recognize that. I think

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Speaker 3: that that is one of the early signs that stress

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Speaker 3: is starting to take its toll on your body. And

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Speaker 3: and then I think to throw in to add to

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Speaker 3: your physical ones. I think that when you're sleep is

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Speaker 3: starting to become effective, right right right, when you're you're

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Speaker 3: knackered and you lie do to go to you think

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Speaker 3: I'm going to be in sleep within five seconds, and

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Speaker 3: then your brain goes on five right, that that is

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Speaker 3: a sign. And waking up and being tired, I think

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Speaker 3: we're starting to get down the vortex na.

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Speaker 1: And often I.

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Speaker 3: Think i'd throw in as well to your because you

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Speaker 3: mentioned behaviors. When people start to self neglect, I think

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Speaker 3: that's a big sign. When you know they know they

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Speaker 3: should be exercising more and they just don't have the

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Speaker 3: motivation to do it.

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Speaker 1: Their diet starts to go to ratchet.

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Speaker 3: Right, you're comfort eating, you're drinking a bit too much,

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Speaker 3: and you're kind of going you know, I.

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Speaker 1: Just need to get through this. I'll sort this out.

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Speaker 3: That's when the world really starts to grab you and

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Speaker 3: suck you down further.

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Speaker 2: When you start letting go of those things that you

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Speaker 2: need the most. It's like, you know, when that's the

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Speaker 2: ironic thing. The more stress we get and the more

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Speaker 2: we get caught up in this chronic stress and this

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Speaker 2: busyness at work and whatever it is that's stimulating you,

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Speaker 2: we often start letting go of those things that we

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Speaker 2: need the most. I won't go to the gym tonight.

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Speaker 2: I'm too tired, or I'm just going to grab some

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Speaker 2: takeaway on the way home because I can't be bothered,

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Speaker 2: you know, that sort of epathy and not caring exactly

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Speaker 2: what you're saying. But it actually should be the other

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Speaker 2: way around. It should be.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely one hundred percent. And I often use the analogy

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Speaker 3: of an athlete. That's whether it's you know, a World Cup,

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Speaker 3: Rugby World Cup, soccer, World Cup, whatever, where they're having

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Speaker 3: to perform at a high level and then get up

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Speaker 3: and perform again and again and again. I tell you what,

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Speaker 3: they're not coming home and going fucking hell, that was

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Speaker 3: a hard day.

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Speaker 1: I need a drink.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean that they are coming back

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Speaker 3: and they are recovering effectively. And before we jump into

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Speaker 3: some sort of solutions, I think it is worthwhile just

402
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Speaker 3: diving into this these signs and symptoms a little bit more.

403
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Speaker 3: When people are really starting to get pulled down and

404
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Speaker 3: starting to get close to burnt.

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Speaker 1: Is there.

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Speaker 3: I think you mentioned social withdrawal. I think that's a

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Speaker 3: massive one. Not just the meetings and the people not

408
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Speaker 3: turn into compans, but when they socially withdraw when you're

409
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Speaker 3: just like, you know, I don't want to go out

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Speaker 3: and see my friends.

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Speaker 2: I'll be bothered.

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Speaker 1: That's a big red flag for me.

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Speaker 2: Everything's too hard everything to The big red flag is

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Speaker 2: this sort of overwhelmed. There's sort of overstimulation. So there's, yeah,

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Speaker 2: there's healthy stress, we all know about that. There's the

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Speaker 2: good stress that drives us, that motivates us. You know,

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Speaker 2: there's chronic stress of course when we get caught up

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Speaker 2: in it. But this tipping point is that overwhelmed where

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Speaker 2: everything's just too hard, too much. And the reason I

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Speaker 2: say this is I also work in psychiatric clinics, so

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Speaker 2: I work in for mental health clinics, and I ask

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Speaker 2: the patients when they come to my programs, what happened?

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Speaker 2: How did you end up in here? And most of

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Speaker 2: them will have a version of like, there's just too much.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't take it anymore. So this overstimulated overwhelm and

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Speaker 2: mind it's just everything's too hard, so they just stop

427
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Speaker 2: doing everything, stop doing work, stop socializing, stop going out.

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Speaker 2: Everything is too difficult. And then from there it's this

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Speaker 2: slippery slope downwards into that fatigue and exhaustion, and then

430
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Speaker 2: you've got no energy because you're not moving. So this

431
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Speaker 2: tipping point of overwhelmed. So if you're hearing this language

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Speaker 2: even in the workplace for some people at home and

433
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Speaker 2: people are talking about too much is too much or

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Speaker 2: not coping or man, it's a bit manic at the moment,

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Speaker 2: it's a bit crazy at the moment. Chances are they're

436
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 2: heading to that slippery slope. Chances are they're not cloaking.

437
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: And to bring that back to the.

438
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 3: Challenge and threat orientation, that's where everything starts to become

439
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 3: a thres right. But with that overwhelm, no, I don't

440
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 3: feed like I hub the resources to do this thing

441
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 3: that I used to.

442
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 1: Be able to do. Starting on my head I think.

443
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 3: That is a massive flashing neon light to people.

444
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 1: That they are just there.

445
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 3: They're getting sucked into that burnout vortex because it's just

446
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 3: it's affecting their their perception, and their perception then affects

447
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 3: their motivation and their coping strategies that use and as

448
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 3: you rightly pointed out, right then we start to get

449
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 3: into maladaptive coping strategies.

450
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: As well, such as alcohol, shit food. And we could

451
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: justify all this to ourselves, can we?

452
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 3: I think everybody's been there. We're just going and I

453
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,360
Speaker 3: think you said it, mellow. I'm just too tired. I'm

454
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 3: just going to get take out and it's been a

455
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 3: hard day. Psychologists talk about self care. I'm going to

456
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 3: have half a bottle of wine or bottle of wine

457
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:44,640
Speaker 3: and what's Netflix.

458
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 1: That's not breaking self care.

459
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 3: Self care is exercising, good food and meditation and sleep.

460
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 2: Higiene amen to that absolutely. But you're right that the

461
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: migda that you said before, that is on this hyper

462
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: vigilant it's on. So when we're on, when we're in

463
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: this mode, everything's you know, we get better at stressing out.

464
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 2: We actually build that amig deala muscle. It gets stronger,

465
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: and we actually get more reactive. And that's addictive too,

466
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 2: is sort of like we get addicted to that feeling.

467
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 2: We're just going to keep going, keep moving, keep doing.

468
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: But I always use the analogy of those you know,

469
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 2: those neutribullets, you know, those neutribullets where you put your smoothie,

470
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 2: you make you make smoothing. So the fight and flight

471
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 2: response you know that you know, is handy. We need

472
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 2: it to get through situations, but it's only designed for

473
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 2: short term stimulus. It's only designed to get you through

474
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 2: that thing. It's a bit like putting the nutrible on

475
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 2: and just leaving it on, you know. Is that neutrible

476
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 2: is designed to oscillate at a high frequency, so it

477
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,199
Speaker 2: makes you smoothie. But if you leave the neutrable it

478
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 2: on for five minutes or ten minutes or twenty minutes,

479
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 2: it's going to burn out. It's not designed for that.

480
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 2: The same as the fight and flight response. The amigdala

481
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 2: is not designed to be switched on twenty four or seven,

482
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 2: you know, without any consequence. And one of the worst

483
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 2: cases of burnout that I've seen in the work that

484
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 2: I do is a one particular client was very sharp

485
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 2: guy like men. He very sharp, very smart, smart guy

486
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 2: operating and owning twenty seven businesses around the world and

487
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 2: obviously need to be switched on to do that. Very successful.

488
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 2: But he wore it as a badge of how busy

489
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 2: he was, you know, like yeah, and he was working

490
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 2: across multiple time zones. He was working the US, UK

491
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 2: and Australian time zones and saying, oh, I slept on.

492
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 2: I didn't get any sleep last night. I worked in

493
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 2: the Quantus Lounge, and then I got to LAX and

494
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 2: I worked in the LAX in Los Angeles, and then

495
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,120
Speaker 2: I got to my office in London and I didn't

496
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 2: sleep at all. Two hours sleep, You know, I wore

497
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,959
Speaker 2: it as a badge, like, you know, how busy he was.

498
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 2: His mind kept going, but his body said I had

499
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: doing this anymore. Totally shut down. Multiple organ failure, like

500
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 2: his pancreas spleen liver started shutting down, stopped producing his

501
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 2: endocrime system was shot, stopped producing testosterone. He was hospitalized

502
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 2: in intensive care for weeks and in hospital for months,

503
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 2: Like at what point do you listen to the signs?

504
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,360
Speaker 2: At what point do you stop this machine.

505
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 3: That that is severe clinical burnout, right, So there's a

506
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 3: clinical and non clinical burnout.

507
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 1: Actually, I think it's worthwhile double clicking.

508
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:14,640
Speaker 3: On that stress response and the hormones, right, because when

509
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 3: we're in that challenge orientation, right, when you're dealing with stuff,

510
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 3: it is it's your fight or flight, and it's the

511
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 3: chemicals adrenaline and no adrenaline. And then when we get

512
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 3: into threat response and overwhelm, cordisole comes in over the top, right,

513
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 3: And and this is the thing for people to understand.

514
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 3: When you're in challenge response, that adrenaline nor adrenaline that

515
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 3: activates the fight part of fight, flight and freeze, right.

516
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: It's engagement, right, it's being on the front foot. I'm

517
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 3: all over this right, and you're motivated to do stuff.

518
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 3: But when cordisole comes over the top of it, and

519
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 3: that drives you into the flight avoidance freeze response as well,

520
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 3: and chronic stress. And here's something that I only discovered

521
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 3: lately is that the half life.

522
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: Of adrenaline and noah adrenaline in the body is one

523
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 1: to two minutes.

524
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 3: Right, So if we're both faced with the same stressor

525
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 3: use that example earlier on, you're in a challenge response

526
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 3: as soon as that stressor has gone within minutes, your

527
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 3: body is back to homeostasis.

528
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: Right.

529
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 3: Cord Isol I hadn't realized until recently has a half

530
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 3: life of one to two rs. So with me and

531
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 3: the threat response, right, and that overwhelmed with the freezer whatever,

532
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 3: even when that stressor goes ours later, I still have

533
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 3: significant amounts of cortisol running through my body and brain,

534
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 3: attacking my organs and attacking like a little bit of

535
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 3: short term cortosol is good, but as you you well know,

536
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 3: our solo when it's our metal. So when it when

537
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 3: it's high and it's protracted, that's when it really creates damage. Right.

538
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I knew you bringing this stuff to the table,

539
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 2: which is good. You can explain all that so.

540
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I can't. I can't help the geek in me.

541
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: It's to bring it up.

542
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 3: But it's I think it's really important for people to

543
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 3: understand that that we have this beautifully designed stress response

544
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 3: that has been honed over hundreds of thousands of years

545
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,479
Speaker 3: in Homeo sappiens. And if you look back, they evolution

546
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 3: of our species millions of years, right, and and it's

547
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 3: honged this beautifully to deal with stressors which were mostly

548
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 3: intermittent and but sometimes severe and and you know that's

549
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 3: the fight or flag response. But when stressors were prolonged

550
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 3: and really severe, that's when the espai accesis and cordsole

551
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 3: kicks in. And that's when the bad juju happens to

552
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 3: your physical and mental health. Right when you're just you

553
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: just become completely dysregulated and chronically elevated cortis are makes

554
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 3: you fight, makes you sick, destroys your brain function, destroys

555
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 3: your mental health, destroys your motivation, It just does horrible shit.

556
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not designed to as I said, it's not

557
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 2: designed to be switched on all the time. And many

558
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 2: people are switching that that mechanism on the first thing

559
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 2: in the morning. They pick up their telephone, they look

560
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 2: at their emails, ping, it's on exactly left their bedroom yet,

561
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 2: and they've created a stress response. And then they go

562
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 2: through their day and it's this constant emails and pinging

563
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 2: and the boss and it's just this constant overstimulation of

564
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 2: that fight and flight response. It's not designed to be

565
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 2: like that. With the work that I do, obviously, that's

566
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 2: what's called that sympathetic activity. The work that I do

567
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 2: is you know, to help people find balance between that

568
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 2: sympathetic activity and the powa sympathetic yea, not many people

569
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 2: switch on the relaxation response. They use that stress.

570
00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 1: Response absolutely critical. And you, I think you've hit the

571
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: kneel on the.

572
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 3: Head these people who wake up and if you look

573
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 3: at your phone before your feet touch the.

574
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: Ground, that's a problem. I agree that that is a problem.

575
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: And you're getting inputs straight, especially if you're checking your

576
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 3: freaking before you've even thought about the day, thought about

577
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 3: who you want to be that day, you know, like

578
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 3: the stoics would do, and and I'm sure you know

579
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 3: you would be encouraging people to get up to be

580
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 3: mindful as they start today. But it's that stimulation and

581
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 3: then we bookend it our day with more stimulation, right,

582
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: and people go, h, you know I'm recovering, I'm watching

583
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 3: TV or I'm on social media. That's not recovery for

584
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 3: your nervous system. That is stimulation for your sympathetic nervous system.

585
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 3: So we're always on right And I think that's the

586
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 3: major issue, or one of the big contributors should say

587
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: is that even when people are not at work, they

588
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 3: are not recovering, not right. And I think we're both

589
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 3: seeing from the same m sheep here that there is

590
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 3: a difference between relaxation and recovery.

591
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 2: Absolutely yeah. And most people don't give themselves permission to stop.

592
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 2: And most people don't, you know, switch off. They don't

593
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 2: even know what downtime is anymore. The words not in

594
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,719
Speaker 2: our vocabulary. And that's what I always say. People are

595
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: wound up all day, you know, wound up. There's constant

596
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 2: overstimulation from the time they wake up. They're looking at

597
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 2: their telephone. Every break they get, they pick up their phone,

598
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 2: they scroll, or they do something, and there's no off time.

599
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: You know, when it comes to the brain. You probably

600
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: know a bit about this yourself. These different frequencies that

601
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 2: the brain oscillates, and you have the beta, alpha, theta delta.

602
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 2: Delta is you're dead, asleep, you know, you're out, and

603
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 2: beta is you're on. You know, you're thinking, you're planning,

604
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: your problem solving, decision making. All of these things when

605
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 2: the brain is oscillating at like fifteen to forty hurts.

606
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 2: So if beta was a drum, let's say, it'd be

607
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 2: like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom, boom

608
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: working quite fast. The brain cannot be working that fast

609
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 2: all day long, twenty four to seven. You need to

610
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 2: drop into those alpha and theta states where it's meditation, relaxation, recovery,

611
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: all these things where the brain slows down down to

612
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 2: like seven to fourteen hurts. And that's where we can

613
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 2: give our brain a little bit of a break. We're

614
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 2: not designed to be switched on all the time without

615
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 2: any consequence.

616
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, for assuring me.

617
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 3: And I think what the research chools is that high

618
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 3: beta is associated with high cortis. Were right, So when

619
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 3: you're in very high beater, that's anxiety, right. All anxiety

620
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 3: is is a massive overstimulation of the sympathetic nervousness. But

621
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 3: you then come into a point which is really your

622
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 3: wheelhouse here, right, which is about mindfulness, which is something

623
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 3: that I have wanted to do for many years but

624
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 3: completely shit out. But the one thing that I found,

625
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 3: actually two things that I have found att mellow and

626
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 3: and and maybe you can give me and the other

627
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 3: listeners some tips here, right, was I'm just fucking rubbish

628
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 3: at trying to do any type of meditation, but I

629
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 3: find that just focusing doing breath work, I can do

630
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 3: that right, And the other thing that I adopted, and

631
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 3: I think it was Carley manned nudge me, is I

632
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 3: walk our dogs every morning and every evening when I'm

633
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 3: when I'm here, and I like to go out.

634
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: At sunrise and sunset.

635
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: But I was occasionally going out and getting on the

636
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 3: phone or listening to podcasts, and and Carley said to

637
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 3: me one day, why don't you just go out and be?

638
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 3: And I thought, actually, you're right, And so I've stopped

639
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 3: taking taking my phone, stop taking my ear pods, and

640
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 3: I just go out and just especially around sunrise and sunset.

641
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 1: Right, there's just all the bird life and the changing.

642
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 3: Colors in the skies and stuff like that, and its

643
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 3: presence and its mindfulness. Right, So talk our listeners through

644
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 3: mindfulness in its different gases. Why meditation particularly is very

645
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 3: very good for us and maybe for the nupties like

646
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 3: me who are just have tried and not doing it

647
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 3: very well.

648
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,760
Speaker 1: What are sort some things that we can get.

649
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 2: Sure and yees. Saying the word mindfulness, of saying the

650
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 2: word meditation actually is like saying saying the word sport.

651
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 2: You know, there's different types of sport, you know, when

652
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 2: it comes to meditation, you know, there's different types of meditation,

653
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 2: and mindfulness is an aspect of that. So for me,

654
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 2: there's two main ways to practice mindfulness. First of all,

655
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,760
Speaker 2: number one is the stopping, the pausing, the closing your eyes,

656
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 2: and doing the formal practice. So the formal practice is

657
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 2: typically what you know is meditation, whether you're following your

658
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 2: breath or you're doing a body scan or whatever. It is,

659
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 2: just to get that presence to anchor yourself into yourself.

660
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,839
Speaker 2: So that's the formal practice of mindfulness. I do two

661
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: formal practices every single day. Start my day with it.

662
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 2: I'm the same as you. I get up quite early,

663
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 2: take my dog for a walk, and then I do

664
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 2: a meditation practice straight after that, get that serotonin production

665
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 2: first of all with the sun, and then stop and pause.

666
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 2: So that's the formal practice. Whether that's two minute meditation practice,

667
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 2: whether it's a five minute, whether it's a twenty minute,

668
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,720
Speaker 2: whatever it is for you. The duration. The other practice

669
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,720
Speaker 2: of mindfulness is also what's called the non formal practice.

670
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 2: And the non formal practice is doing all those things

671
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 2: you do in the day, but you do then more mindfully.

672
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 2: You know, from the time you get up in the morning,

673
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: you know doing some breath work, maybe getting out of

674
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 2: the bed, mindfully, brushing your teeth, having a shower, eating

675
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 2: your food, going for a walk, whatever it is. These

676
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 2: are all washing washing dishes exactly. These are all mindfulness

677
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: practices on their own. And the trouble is, you know,

678
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 2: people think, oh, yeah, I've done my ten minutes and

679
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 2: mindfulness this morning, and then the rest of the day

680
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 2: is crap. The rest of the day is reactive and

681
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 2: the rest of the day is busy because you're not

682
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,479
Speaker 2: taking it off the mat. It's a bit like going

683
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: to the gym every morning. Yeah, it's like going to

684
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 2: the gym. You do a thirty minute workout in the gym,

685
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 2: but the rest of the day you eat burghers and

686
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 2: chips and whatever. It's the same as that. So you're

687
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 2: want to take it off the mat. And I always

688
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 2: encourage people to do both, like I actually think they're

689
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 2: we equally weighted. So the way you do something. So

690
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 2: for example, let's just talk about eating. For example, So

691
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 2: you know, eating you can eat in front of the computer,

692
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 2: you can eat what you're scrolling on your telephone, or

693
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 2: you can just eat and just enjoy the flavors and

694
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 2: the aromas and the tastes. And the more you do that,

695
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 2: the more you appreciate your food, of course, and you're

696
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 2: more mindful and you engage all the sensors there. But

697
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 2: if you're someone that eats distracted all the time and

698
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 2: you're scrolling on your telephone, you're actually training your brain

699
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 2: to be distracted. You're not taking those cues that you're satisfied,

700
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 2: and your chances are you eat more.

701
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: And you'll active eat your sympathetics, which inhibits digestion.

702
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 2: And brain access. It is not connected there. So I

703
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 2: always say, the way you do something is the way

704
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 2: you do everything. So if you're doing these things in

705
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 2: a distractor's state, how can you focus for longer periods

706
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,839
Speaker 2: of time. So mindfulness essentially is at tension training and

707
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 2: being present in the moment. And when I was traveling,

708
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 2: when I was cycling around the world, I was staying

709
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 2: in monasteries, as I mentioned, and I was staying in

710
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 2: one particular monastery in Vietnam, and it's a Buddhist monastery,

711
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:27,399
Speaker 2: and the practice there was more about the non formal

712
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 2: practice to be honest, so you could talk. It wasn't

713
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 2: one of these meditation retreats where you couldn't speak at all.

714
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: You could speak, but you could only speak about the

715
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:38,280
Speaker 2: thing that you were doing. So if I was chopping

716
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: the vegetables, I could only talk about the vegetables. Oh wow,

717
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,959
Speaker 2: look at my carrot today, or look at the smell

718
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 2: of my onion, and just only about the veget You

719
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 2: couldn't be chopping the vegetables talking about the weather or

720
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 2: anything else. When you're eating your meal, you could only

721
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,439
Speaker 2: talk about the flavors, the aromas. And like you said,

722
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 2: when you're washing the dishes, you could only talk about

723
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 2: the dishes or the scent of the soap or the

724
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: temperature of the water. And for me myself, it was

725
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 2: already a mindfulness practition. I've been meditating for thirty plus years.

726
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 2: That was also like wow, I didn't realize how not

727
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 2: present I was doing all of these little daily things,

728
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 2: and it taught me. It was difficult at first, but

729
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 2: it taught me that everything is a mindfulness practice. Everything.

730
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's actually very cool, you know that.

731
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 3: It was actually as you were saying that there's one

732
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 3: thing that I probably do mindfully other than that going

733
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 3: for the walk, and that's weeding the guard beautiful and

734
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 3: after that commend I'll talk to my kids about I

735
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 3: freaking amazing guitar in the respect that I have for them,

736
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 3: the resilience, and I'm like, oh, yeah, this weed here,

737
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 3: this one's got the little root I can put out out.

738
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 1: My kids are like, you're crazy. But it reminds me Melowo.

739
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 3: When I was a kid, I was trying to get

740
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 3: into Zen Buddhism, and I was reading stuff on Zen

741
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 3: Buddhism and Zan Cohen's.

742
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: And I remember one that stuck in my head where.

743
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 3: This and there was this, this the student who wanted

744
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 3: enlightenment and he went to his master and said, oh,

745
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 3: you know, my master, how can I be enlightened?

746
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 1: And he said The master said.

747
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 3: To him, have you had your breakfast? And he said yes,

748
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 3: and he said we'll go wash your bowl. And that

749
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 3: was it, right, And I was like, what the hell

750
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,919
Speaker 3: does that mean? And it was only twenty years later

751
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 3: that I had I remembered it. I had a little

752
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 3: light bulb moment that it was just about being totally

753
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:31,839
Speaker 3: in the.

754
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: Moment, right, And all you've got to do to see

755
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,320
Speaker 1: this is go and watch a Japanese chef.

756
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 2: Yeah perfect, and that yeah, perfect.

757
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 1: The attention to detail that they have when they're putting

758
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: stuff together is just amazing.

759
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 3: They are so mindful whenever they're actually preparing their beings.

760
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 3: But I think that's a really good point, is and

761
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,919
Speaker 3: I love your concept of taking it off the matt

762
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,799
Speaker 3: and just bringing it into your every day life.

763
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 1: But it ties it with to self awareness totally.

764
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's the very first point. You can't change

765
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 2: what you don't notice, so we have to notice. At first,

766
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that I eat in a distracted stat

767
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that I do think about all the

768
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: things you do in your day, you know, from commuting

769
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:21,280
Speaker 2: to driving, to getting to work to listening to people.

770
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 2: Are you really listening? There are so many opportunities that

771
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 2: we could bring more mindfulness to that, but it actually

772
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 2: takes training. It actually takes work, and most people don't

773
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 2: have the discipline to do the work.

774
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,839
Speaker 1: It's a bit yeah, And as you rightly say, this

775
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:35,800
Speaker 1: is attention.

776
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 2: It's attention training.

777
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

778
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 3: And I actually like this concept that of checking it

779
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 3: off the mat that every time you even do a

780
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 3: minute of stuff right, you're actually doing good for your

781
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 3: brand because when we are fully engrossed and stuff, it

782
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 3: changes our briand patterns and it does help us to recover.

783
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 3: So even you know, turning your bloody computer off just

784
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 3: for five minutes to sit and eat your lunch mindfully,

785
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 3: to cheer your food, you know, and think about the

786
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 3: chewing that you're doing, thinking about the food.

787
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: All of that is actually recovery, isn't it.

788
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 2: It is. And research says that forty seven percent of

789
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 2: the time our mind is elsewhere, it's flicking away somewhere else. So,

790
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 2: like you said, when you're doing something for a minute,

791
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 2: half of that minute, your brain could be flicking away.

792
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 2: And these are what's called the task performance network versus

793
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 2: the default mode network.

794
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: Yes, oh, top, top, Yeah, let's talk a little bit

795
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: about that.

796
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 2: It's what you're talking about there. It's about you know,

797
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 2: when you're on task, when you're doing something, your mind

798
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 2: is on there and you're switching on certain pathways through

799
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 2: the brain, which is your task performance network, and you're

800
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 2: focusing on that. That's mindfulness too. So think about those

801
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 2: things that you do in the day and you know

802
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 2: you're really present, you're really there, you're really enjoying it.

803
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 2: That's you're switching on that network versus what's called the

804
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 2: default mode network, where the brain starts drifting off and

805
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 2: starts thinking about other things. It could be flicking into

806
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 2: the future, catestrophizing about something that hasn't even happened, or

807
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 2: it could go into the past. And this default mode

808
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 2: network can run wild. You know the research and the

809
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 2: research you've probably heard of through Harvard there where the

810
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 2: research paper was called a wandering mind can be an

811
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:19,879
Speaker 2: unhappy mind.

812
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is the Dalai Lama. I

813
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 3: think because he used to do this Mind and Life

814
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 3: conference where there was a bunch of neuroscientists and a

815
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 3: bunch of Tibetan monks.

816
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: Talking about this.

817
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: The overlaps between the two disciplines, and when I think

818
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,240
Speaker 3: it's Richard J. Dividson when he told the Dalai Lama

819
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 3: about the default mode network.

820
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 1: You'll be familiar with Richard J. Davidson, right.

821
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 3: The Dalai Lama was like, ah, you mean monkey mind,

822
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:54,280
Speaker 3: Yabba yaba yaba yaba, right, And but that monkey mind

823
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 3: leads to an on happy mind. To your point, when

824
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 3: we're constantly multitasking, thinking about other shit and not being focused,

825
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 3: it leads to unhappiness.

826
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: Totally totally, and it can go run wild. It can

827
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 2: be running wild all day and we're not even aware

828
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 2: of it. We have thousands and thousands of thoughts for

829
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 2: the day just constantly rolling away in our head. Most

830
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 2: of those are negative. Most of those are the ones

831
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 2: the same ones we had yesterday. And that's where it

832
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 2: comes back to that self awareness piece. So mindfulness is

833
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 2: training our self awareness when you sit in stillness and

834
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 2: you just sit there. So going back to the formal practice,

835
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 2: the one where you stop and sit. When you sit there,

836
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 2: very often when you close your eyes, your mind just

837
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 2: goes wild. It starts thinking about all of these things.

838
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,479
Speaker 2: And that's where people say it doesn't work. Meditation doesn't

839
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,839
Speaker 2: work for me. That's actually working. That's actually showing you

840
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,439
Speaker 2: how busy your mind is. That's actually showing you how

841
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,359
Speaker 2: much out of control you are. So the more you

842
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: practice this, you notice how he comes a thought, What

843
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 2: am I thinking about? It might be planning thought, planning

844
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 2: a day. Well, he comes another thought, and you're just

845
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 2: letting those thoughts be there in the background, and you're

846
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 2: just letting them come and go. And the longer you practice,

847
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:04,439
Speaker 2: the space between the thoughts becomes bigger. It's not non

848
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 2: thinking like there is. People think the meditation you close

849
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 2: your eyes is like this blanket blissful state, like it's

850
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 2: actually observing your thoughts as an observer, not attaching to

851
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,399
Speaker 2: them non judgmentally, and just let them come and go.

852
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 2: And the more you practice, it's about the space between,

853
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 2: and that's the space we like to sit in. I

854
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 2: often teach, and I always teach, actually not often. I

855
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 2: always teach a ninety second breath break first, as opposed.

856
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 2: So if I'm getting a new meditation client or an

857
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 2: executive or a CEO, first of all, I don't use

858
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 2: the word mindfulness of meditation because I think, oh my god,

859
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 2: I'm not doing that exactly. So I'll use you word

860
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 2: focus and attention. And instead of teaching them initially a

861
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 2: ten minute or twenty minute of practice, which is good,

862
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 2: but I teach them these ninety second breath breaks, so

863
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 2: they actually start learning how to downregulate the immiguey, they

864
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 2: start learning how to control their physiology through their psychology

865
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 2: and vice versa. So I would rather somebody did five

866
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 2: lots of ninety second breath breaks, which is basically just

867
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,879
Speaker 2: stopping and following your breath for ninety seconds doing deep

868
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 2: dire breath diaphragm breathing I'd rather someone did five of

869
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 2: those in the day because they're learning how to switch

870
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: off that busy mind. They're learning how to use that,

871
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 2: and the more they practice, they start learning how to

872
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,879
Speaker 2: switch it off quicker. And I've been practicing for many years,

873
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 2: I could probably access that deeper alpha theta alpha theta

874
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 2: states in two or three breaths because my physiology understands, Okay,

875
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 2: I'm closing my eyes, I'm safe, I'm breathing deep, I'm safe,

876
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:40,319
Speaker 2: and it initiates that relaxation response really quickly. So most

877
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 2: of us are up in that sympathetic nervous system all

878
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 2: the time. We don't know how to even act. We

879
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 2: don't even know what it feels like to feel that

880
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 2: deeper state. So I encourage when I'm starting out, let's

881
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 2: get lots of ninety second breath breaks going. And then

882
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 2: once you get that going, let's extend the duration. It's

883
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 2: a bit like exercise, you know, Sam, you start increasing

884
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 2: intensity and duration same thing, and you start extending it.

885
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I can sit now for five minutes. I

886
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 2: can sit for seven minutes. I can sit for ten minutes.

887
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 2: So it's about training your body and mind to understand

888
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 2: what the pole opposite of the fighting flight response feels.

889
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 1: Like yeah, and that's a really I like that. You

890
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: do that with the breath break and the slow controlled

891
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: atraumatic breathing.

892
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 3: Just to add a bit of geeky science, when you

893
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 3: do that, you switch on the vegus nerve and the

894
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 3: phrenic nerve, and you switch you activating the vegus nerve,

895
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 3: which is your parasympathetic from the bottom up, because there's

896
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 3: lots of projections into the heart and the lungs, and

897
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 3: it reduces your heart rate, increases your heart rate variability,

898
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 3: which is your parasympathetic nervous system, and brings your brain

899
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,959
Speaker 3: out of a stress. And it's like taking your brain

900
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 3: out and plugging into a wall for a recharge, isn't it.

901
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 3: But you reminded me when you say about the no

902
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 3: mind stuff, because that's what I was trying to do

903
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 3: in my use right. And I was in Cambodia, and

904
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 3: I was traveling alone, and I wanted to go.

905
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:10,280
Speaker 1: And visit this monastery. So I went and visited.

906
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 3: I know it wasn't Yeah, there was an old monastery

907
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 3: that wasn't inhabiting, but yeah, ruins, And I had a

908
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 3: guy took me on the back of a motorbike and

909
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 3: took me out there and went up there, and there

910
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 3: was a female monk there who she was there meditating,

911
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:29,360
Speaker 3: and I had a conversation with her through the guide

912
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 3: he was translating, and she was there for a month

913
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 3: of meditation. She had rice and she'd just go down

914
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,479
Speaker 3: and up and get what she needed. And I said,

915
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 3: I'll get some advice off her. And I said, I'm

916
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 3: trying to do no mind meditation to empty my mind.

917
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 1: And she laughed for.

918
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 3: About a minute, right, and then she through the interpreter,

919
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,479
Speaker 3: she just told him, tell him not to worry about that.

920
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 1: He just needs to be the watcher. Yeah.

921
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 3: Nice, Yeah, yeah, And it was that exactly what you're

922
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 3: saying is you just watch your thoughts non judgmentally. And

923
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 3: Cardi does a meditation about leaves on a stream. They're

924
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,439
Speaker 3: just leaves passing on a stream and you just let

925
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 3: them go because that and it really is quite simple

926
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 3: when you think of it like that. But it also

927
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 3: reminded me something that might be helpful for people like

928
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,919
Speaker 3: me who have wanted to do it but are shit.

929
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 1: Is a guided meditation. Can you know ups like Bootify.

930
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 2: And insight Time. Yeah, inside.

931
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's lots of them out there that have little

932
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 3: short meditations one minute, two minute, five minute, ten minutes,

933
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes, and that can be useful for getting the

934
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 3: uninitiated income.

935
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I recommend that when you're starting out, like, it's

936
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 2: good to do both of course. And I have some

937
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 2: free meditations on inside time orrap for example. And one

938
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 2: it is a nine minute body scan meditation, which is great.

939
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:57,839
Speaker 2: It talks you through your whole body from the top

940
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 2: of your head all the way down to your tone.

941
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was a protecular.

942
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, really good for athletes also to sort of get

943
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: in tune with their body. So I teach that I

944
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 2: have a ninety second breath break on there because some

945
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 2: people don't have ten minutes. But the way I view

946
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 2: guided meditation is great, it's fantastic and it will help

947
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 2: you stay in that present state of awareness. But eventually

948
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 2: it's a bit like riding the bike with training wheels.

949
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 2: Eventually it's good to take the training wheels off, like

950
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 2: what happens when I switch it off. So if you

951
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:27,760
Speaker 2: are doing guided meditation at home, maybe after the guided meditation,

952
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 2: spend two minutes just in silence. Just yeah, just stop

953
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 2: to train that because you're in that state, and just

954
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 2: to train, and then eventually it might be three minutes

955
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 2: and five minutes guided. Then it might be you know,

956
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 2: two minutes just to set you up, and then you know,

957
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 2: so you start extending the silent meditation part because yes,

958
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 2: it's you know, when you are riding a bike with

959
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 2: training wheels, it's an easy experience, but when you take

960
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: the training wheels off, it's less pleasant. But what's what's

961
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 2: going to make you a better rider in the long

962
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 2: run is to take them off. So I recommend both,

963
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 2: a good mix of both, and everybody's different too. By

964
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 2: the way, it's not a one size fits all when

965
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 2: it comes to breathing techniques. It's not a one size

966
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 2: fits all when it comes to different types of meditation.

967
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 2: So finding what resonates with you. For some people, that

968
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 2: might be counting your breath. That might be you know,

969
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 2: as we said before, a prolonged out breath, so you

970
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 2: might have a breath of one, two, three, four, five

971
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 2: six on the way in, then make sure you just

972
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:23,760
Speaker 2: breathe out for eight, seven, six, So it might be counting.

973
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 2: It might be box breathing, as you're probably familiar with

974
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 2: counting one, two, three, four, holding your breath. So it's

975
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 2: not a one size fits all, find the one that

976
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 2: you work with most. And I also teach moving meditation,

977
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 2: and I teach chigong and tai chi practices because someone

978
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 2: for example, with ADHD a very busy mind or something,

979
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 2: it's really hard to get them straight from full on

980
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,800
Speaker 2: to stop. So I'll tune into their body first, do

981
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 2: exercises coordinated with breath, which acts as neuromodulator. So then

982
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 2: they slow down and they connect with their body. Once

983
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 2: they connect with their body, they connect with their breath

984
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,759
Speaker 2: and they connect with their mind. Then you can sit

985
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 2: in stillness for a little bit. But just that movement

986
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 2: aspect is just a great portal to get into the practice.

987
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think I told you when we had coffee,

988
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 3: Me and Carli when we were in Scotland did tai

989
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 3: chi for a while and it was brilliant. I loved

990
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 3: it and have been looking over here for some sort

991
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 3: of tai chi or chigung. But because we live in

992
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 3: the Peninsul, there's nobody apart from you.

993
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 1: So I'm going to jump in me and that one

994
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: we are going to lock in.

995
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:32,959
Speaker 3: And you also have a chapter in your book where

996
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 3: you talk about gratitude, and I'm a gratitude geek, So

997
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:41,839
Speaker 3: let's talk gratitude and the role that it has in

998
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 3: combating burnout, and just some practical things that people can

999
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 3: do around it, because again, it's one of those things

1000
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 3: that some people look at it and go, oh, yeah,

1001
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 3: it's a bit fluffy.

1002
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: But that shit ain't flying.

1003
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:56,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. Often when I'm presenting gratitude and compassion and kindness

1004
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 2: things in a corporate seminar, I can see the eyes

1005
00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:00,759
Speaker 2: roll immediately. Here we go, oh, you know, sort of

1006
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,959
Speaker 2: thing against that idea of it is not fluffy. There's

1007
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 2: reams of research around it, as you know, practicing gratitude

1008
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 2: releasing all those good chemicals instead of those bad chemicals

1009
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: oxytocin and all those nice sedating chemicals. So what I

1010
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 2: do typically is I add a little flavor of gratitude

1011
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,800
Speaker 2: into my practices. So we've got a mind from his practice,

1012
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,720
Speaker 2: you know, towards the end of the mindful of practice,

1013
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 2: I'll add some compassion, kindness, gratitude, And there's varying degrees

1014
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 2: of this. Sometimes, if I've got more time, I'll do

1015
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 2: what's called a meta meditation, where you're actually being compassionate

1016
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,759
Speaker 2: and kind to yourself, compassionate kind to others, sending out

1017
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 2: love and compassion to the greater world and all sent

1018
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 2: in beings. But sometimes it's just as simple as like

1019
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 2: just being grateful of running water. It like being grateful

1020
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:47,880
Speaker 2: of the sun on my face, the comfortable house. But

1021
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 2: practicing this on a daily basis, it starts wiring yourself

1022
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 2: to actually notice it more so, over rule that I

1023
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 2: can't say the same thing twice like I have to

1024
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 2: like every day and imagine gratitude pspect it's so typical.

1025
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:04,479
Speaker 2: So I love my family, and I love my kids,

1026
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:06,399
Speaker 2: and I love my wife, and I'm grateful for them,

1027
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 2: and that's easy. But then you start like digging a

1028
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 2: bit deeper when you can't say the same thing two

1029
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 2: days in a row, and you start looking for that.

1030
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 2: You start your actual reticular activating system starts looking for

1031
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 2: more gratitude, and you start noticing more gratitude, and you

1032
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 2: start noticing the barista that smiles at you, or you

1033
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 2: notice the guy that opens the door for you. You

1034
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 2: start noticing things more So it's just wiring your brain

1035
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 2: to see it, practice it, and actually it fires up

1036
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,719
Speaker 2: as you know, different brain regions. You've probably heard that

1037
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 2: going back to Davidson actually the research where he did

1038
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 2: the study on what's his name, Mattu Ricard.

1039
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 1: The.

1040
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 3: Monk.

1041
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: I've seen him speak, actually.

1042
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 2: Awesome and he's someone you know. So they put like

1043
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 2: two hundred and fifty six senses on his brain and

1044
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 2: they measured him for a twelve year study and they

1045
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 2: realized that because he practices compassion and kindness in his meditation,

1046
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 2: that had abnormal regions of his brain that exercise that area,

1047
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 2: plus abnormal regions of his brain for gamma activity.

1048
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's right. And this gets the point.

1049
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 3: And it's like we talked about right at the start

1050
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 3: that when you're constantly stressed, you're a MiG dealer growth bigger.

1051
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:23,399
Speaker 1: Like our body is so pliable and plastic to environmental impact. Right,

1052
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 1: you do nothing on your muscles, they waste away. Right.

1053
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 3: The Harvard the Dallas bed rest study show putting people

1054
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 3: in bed rest for three weeks aged their heart by

1055
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 3: thirty freaking years in three weeks of bad rest. Right,

1056
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 3: But you train the muscles, they get better. You expose

1057
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 3: yourself to lots of stress, you're amig dealar gross, Right,

1058
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 3: You do lots of gratitude or self regulation stuff, those

1059
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 3: parts of.

1060
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 1: The brains actually grow.

1061
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:57,360
Speaker 3: And that's such a good point because regular gratitude actually

1062
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 3: primes your brain for positivity, and for me, that is

1063
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 3: the thing that's combating the amygdala. Constantly being stressed, you

1064
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 3: develop a negativity bias. So I believe that gratitude is hugely,

1065
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:14,799
Speaker 3: hugely important. And I love that you said running water

1066
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 3: because often I'll do that. I'll turn the tap on

1067
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 3: and I'll go, how fucking cool is like when you

1068
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:27,439
Speaker 3: combine gratitude with awe And that's when magic starts to happen.

1069
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 1: And sometimes I'll turn a light on and.

1070
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,760
Speaker 2: Go, how fucking cool is that?

1071
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,800
Speaker 3: Right? If you think about like all this shit, and

1072
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 3: then you go out into nature, and there's so much

1073
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 3: stuff that if we would just slow down a little

1074
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 3: bit and notice and then just be grateful for stuff.

1075
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:50,479
Speaker 3: And as I always say to people, right, if you've

1076
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:57,800
Speaker 3: got running water, a roof over your head, electricity, food, security, hating, cooling,

1077
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 3: and you have safety. If you've got all of those things,

1078
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:04,400
Speaker 3: you've probably got better than ninety nine percent of Homo

1079
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:07,759
Speaker 3: sapiens that ever walk this earth. And how about we

1080
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,359
Speaker 3: wake up in the morning and go, I'm in the

1081
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,720
Speaker 3: luckiest one percent of Homo sapiens that have ever walked

1082
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,840
Speaker 3: this earth, Right. I think it's a game change psychologically

1083
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 3: because you know all the shit that we then get

1084
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:25,959
Speaker 3: worried about, you go, yeah, it's not that big really whenever.

1085
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: You know, I don't live in a freaking war zone

1086
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 1: right now, you know.

1087
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 3: And it's but we kind of default to what we

1088
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 3: have when we start to take it for granted, right,

1089
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 3: And that's why I think gratitude is so so.

1090
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 2: Important totally, and also does reflection in general. I think

1091
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 2: like a lot of people that have there to do

1092
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 2: this for the week ahead. You know, I've got to

1093
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:47,839
Speaker 2: do this, and I've got to achieve this, and I've

1094
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 2: got to do this to make my week successful. But

1095
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:51,799
Speaker 2: they get to the end of the week and they

1096
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 2: crash because they're exhausted, and then they do it again

1097
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 2: the next week and they keep going and going and going.

1098
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 2: So one practice that I do at the end of

1099
00:56:58,120 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 2: my week every week is I just have a little

1100
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 2: almost like my mini performance review reflection. It's like, what

1101
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 2: was my presence like this week, what was my energy

1102
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,360
Speaker 2: like this week? What was my diet like what was

1103
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 2: my meditation, like what was my family commitment, what was

1104
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 2: my social and just measuring that and reflecting on that

1105
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 2: with a bit of gratitude. I'm grateful for doing that.

1106
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,880
Speaker 2: That's a fantastic practice, just to remind yourself like every

1107
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 2: week's unique and every week you don't realize how many

1108
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 2: amazing things happened in the week, and putting that sort

1109
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 2: of lens on it, reflect and then reset your intentions

1110
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 2: for the following week and just exercising that. Going back

1111
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 2: to that negative bias, we're often looking for the stuff,

1112
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 2: you know that's like the bad stuff in the week.

1113
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 2: And you know, there's a research that I was looking at.

1114
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 2: I don't know the exact details exactly, but there was

1115
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 2: a company that actually had they had to keep a journal,

1116
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 2: and they had to keep a journal for thirty days,

1117
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 2: I believe, and there was three different groups and one

1118
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 2: group had to actually write down all the bad things

1119
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 2: that happened that week. You know, all the got caught

1120
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 2: in traffic or you know, the cold coffee that they got,

1121
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 2: all the bad email. That was group one. Group two

1122
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 2: was just write down things but with no emotion or

1123
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 2: no biased negative or positive. Just have to write down

1124
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 2: the facts and figures that happened in the week. And

1125
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 2: the third group had to practice gratitude three things they

1126
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 2: were grateful full at the end of the day and

1127
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:16,959
Speaker 2: write down all the good things that happened in their week.

1128
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 2: It's all the nice things that happened, the nice email,

1129
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 2: the good call that went well, or the lunch they

1130
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 2: had with a friend. The ones that did the negative one,

1131
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 2: many of them actually felt physically sick. They actually felt

1132
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,320
Speaker 2: they some of them didn't finish this study. They just

1133
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 2: felt physically sick. The ones that actually practiced the gratitude obviously,

1134
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 2: the middle group probably not much change at all. But

1135
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 2: the ones that practiced the gratitude, they were more productive,

1136
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 2: their performance enhanced, they were happier at work obviously. So

1137
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 2: just by doing that simple little practice, it can just

1138
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 2: change your world. And something we forget about how simple

1139
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 2: is you can't have You can't have gratitude and anger

1140
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 2: in the same body, you know, like yeah.

1141
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:55,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I like it. And then I love that.

1142
00:58:56,040 --> 00:59:00,120
Speaker 3: I love that performance review because what gets measure or

1143
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:05,440
Speaker 3: gets managed right, and yeah, that makes it's just it's

1144
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 3: performance one on one, isn't it from from And I

1145
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 3: think it's it's adapting some of the tools that you

1146
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 3: use in elite sport and just adapting them.

1147
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: For for for our lives. So we need to wrap

1148
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 1: up in a minute.

1149
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 3: But is there anything else that that kind of jumps

1150
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 3: out to you that people can can use, or practices

1151
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 3: or things that they can do if they feel like

1152
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 3: they're in that overwhelmed space and they want to avoid

1153
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 3: being a burnt out basket kiss.

1154
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 2: Two things I'll say basically in closing. One will be

1155
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 2: give yourself permission to stop. Yeah, like, give yourself permission

1156
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 2: to pause. And most people don't. They think I'll have

1157
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 2: a break when I finished this next bit. After this bit,

1158
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 2: I'll have a break. But give yourself permission to pause.

1159
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 2: Punctuate your day with periods of renewal and recovery and

1160
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 2: periods of on so that on and off. So give

1161
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:00,960
Speaker 2: yourself permission to stop. Most people wont. The other thing

1162
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 2: I say is to ask yourself this one question every

1163
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:07,640
Speaker 2: single day. What have I done for me today? What

1164
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:10,080
Speaker 2: have I done that fills up my cup? What have

1165
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 2: I done that energizes me? Write it down, put on

1166
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 2: a sticky note or something, and make sure you're doing

1167
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 2: something for you before you, before you switch on your telephone,

1168
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 2: before you jump into the world. There, what have I

1169
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 2: done for me today?

1170
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 1: Awesome? So Mellow.

1171
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 3: So for people who want to read the book, it's

1172
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 3: called Beating Burnout, Finding Balance by Mellow Calarco, and we

1173
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:36,040
Speaker 3: will stick a link to it in the podcast. But

1174
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 3: also if somebody wants some coaching for you, so you

1175
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 3: do coaching, presumably these days you do it virtually as well,

1176
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 3: so they don't have to live, they don't have to

1177
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 3: be one of our neighbors at Manteliza.

1178
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:50,760
Speaker 1: And so what what else? Where can people go?

1179
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 3: Where should we send them in order to reveal of

1180
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 3: your services?

1181
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 2: So probably the best portal will be my website meloclaco

1182
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 2: dot com m E l O c A l A

1183
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 2: r c o dot com. I'm sure we'll put that

1184
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 2: in the show notes. And yeah, also I have a

1185
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 2: free sample chapter of my book on that on that website.

1186
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 2: You can jump on there and have a little Actually,

1187
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:13,480
Speaker 2: the first chapter, ironically is on self awareness, so that's

1188
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:15,520
Speaker 2: what we've been talking about, and it actually talks about

1189
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 2: a situation where I had to meditate for twelve hours

1190
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 2: in a storm and survive it. So that might be

1191
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 2: room for a next podcast, so jump on there. I

1192
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,960
Speaker 2: also have some free meditations on there. LinkedIn is another

1193
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 2: area I'm on the socials, but probably out of all

1194
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 2: of them, LinkedIn is probably my most active one there,

1195
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,840
Speaker 2: And yeah, jump on in. Say hi, happy to support,

1196
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 2: happy to help wherever I can.

1197
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 1: Awesome Melop and thank you for your time.

1198
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 2: I have agreed, Thanks Ball, take care everybody,