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Speaker 1: Apogee Production.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I never

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Speaker 2: knew what a gay man looked like. Gay was forbidden. Okay,

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Speaker 2: in the religion, gay is forbidden. So I never knew

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Speaker 2: the age of forty one what a gay man looked like.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that Isn't that right?

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Speaker 3: I can't even comprehend forty one forty one. I didn't

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Speaker 3: know about anything out of no religion at all. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I just comprehend that you looking at you and me

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Speaker 3: as I know you, that you would actually go till

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Speaker 3: you're forty one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, to hit a nightclub, especially how I know you party?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh now I go nuts. But well I'm calming

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Speaker 2: down now. But like you know, I've been done that.

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Speaker 2: I had to go out and experience everything there was.

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Speaker 2: I had to go out. I had to go to

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Speaker 2: every party. I had to get to know. And that's

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Speaker 2: why I know so many people in Sydney.

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Speaker 3: You didn't have friends, Yeah, you wouldn't have had friends, though,

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Speaker 3: no friends? How did you find friends?

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Speaker 1: Then I'd walk down the street.

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Speaker 2: People that I know for thirty years turn their back

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Speaker 2: on me, cannot talk to me, cannot look at me,

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Speaker 2: treat me like a lep. You know that's not that's

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Speaker 2: not a religion of love. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but

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Speaker 2: you know, I know in my heart I've done the

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Speaker 2: right thing. I don't want to go to my grave

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Speaker 2: with regrets and not know what what's out there in

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Speaker 2: the world. I knew that I found my calling in

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Speaker 2: life of bringing people together. That's what I'm doing and

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Speaker 2: I absolutely love it.

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Speaker 4: So what triggery? There must have been some of the triggery.

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Speaker 2: Well, just yeah, a friend did it. A girlfriend did it.

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Speaker 4: So she was in the same kind of religion.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she was in the religion and she cheated on

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Speaker 2: her husband.

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Speaker 3: So she was she was in the religion and she

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Speaker 3: cheated on her husband. But how did she get the

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Speaker 3: chance to do that?

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Speaker 1: Well, I don't know. She met some guy. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I really don't know.

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Speaker 4: But you just got the and then I.

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Speaker 2: And then I sort of then I sort of started thinking.

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Speaker 2: Then I then I started looking on the internet and all.

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Speaker 1: The things all they.

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Speaker 2: The internet was forbidden, like you're not allowed to look

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Speaker 2: on the internet because you know things will you'll see

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Speaker 2: things that don't add up, like prophecies and things that

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Speaker 2: they've said don't add up. They said the end of

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Speaker 2: the world was coming in ninety seventy five, and it

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Speaker 2: never came.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: And it's just things that clicked in my head and

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Speaker 2: I just decided this is not for me anymore.

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Speaker 4: You're forty one.

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Speaker 2: You're forty one, forty one years old in that religion

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Speaker 2: knocking on doors every weekend.

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Speaker 4: What you knock on doors for?

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Speaker 1: I never had.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to sound nastier, but when they fucked

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Speaker 3: on my door, I usually fucking go listen, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to go somewhere.

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Speaker 2: Like I had, you know, naked men coming in the door,

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Speaker 2: slamming the door in my face. You know, as a child,

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Speaker 2: you never forget that, you know, selling the Watchdown and

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Speaker 2: Awake magazines. I don't know whether you're familiar with those

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Speaker 2: magazines that they might they have, but it's obviously you know,

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Speaker 2: you're trying to encourage people to the religion, to you know,

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Speaker 2: to come to the religion. And I'd get invited in

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Speaker 2: all the time, and you'd have Bible studies and it'd

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Speaker 2: be one thing after another. I had two meetings a week,

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Speaker 2: even going to school. You'd have to go to these meetings,

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Speaker 2: two meetings a week at nighttime, and it was hard,

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Speaker 2: you know, like you wouldn't get home to ten o'clock pm,

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Speaker 2: you know, and that's hard for a school kid.

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Speaker 4: What'd you do for a job back then?

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Speaker 1: I worked. I did some work from home, like for

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Speaker 1: my husband job. Yeah, I had. I was a receptionist.

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Speaker 2: Actually I actually ended up getting a receptionist job for

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Speaker 2: E and my records. And then I felt pregnant with Chloe,

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Speaker 2: my oldest. But that was a real eye opener. I

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Speaker 2: don't know how I scored it, but I did. It

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Speaker 2: must have been my good little Joseph's witness. Look, I decided,

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Speaker 2: you know, like I wanted to see what was out

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Speaker 2: there in the real world. And that's when I made

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Speaker 2: the break and I had. I had the elders of

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Speaker 2: the congregation come knocking on my door saying, come back.

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Speaker 1: What can we do to bring you back?

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Speaker 2: And I said nothing, Please stop bothering me, or I'll

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Speaker 2: call the police. It wasn't just once, it was several times,

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Speaker 2: you know. And you know, they treat you, they say

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Speaker 2: that you're a family. They treat you like brother and

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Speaker 2: a sister. That's what they call you. You're our sister.

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Speaker 2: Come on, you're not my You're not my it's not family.

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Speaker 2: And for my own family to cut me off, you know,

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Speaker 2: that was the hardest part.

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Speaker 4: But you know, tell me, tell me about you. The

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Speaker 4: first time you went out?

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Speaker 1: What was it?

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Speaker 2: What was it like?

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Speaker 4: Where'd you go? What club did you pick? You pick?

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Speaker 4: Of all places? You picked up?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's where I made you. Go to

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Speaker 1: a gay club for that's where I met you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that wouldn't be the when you're forty one

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Speaker 3: like that. You want to see me a party in

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Speaker 3: a couple of times day, I.

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Speaker 2: Just see it's struck down the street, like it's with

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Speaker 2: your bloody big muscles.

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Speaker 1: Who the hell is that guy? You and the other one,

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Speaker 1: the blondead one? What's his name? I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: forget anyway, But I went to Ark, I went to Phoenix,

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Speaker 1: a day club. I went everywhere. I went to Columbia.

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Speaker 4: How did you know where to go with these places?

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Speaker 4: You just look?

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Speaker 1: I just met some people the first club.

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Speaker 2: And you know, because because of my background, I can

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Speaker 2: talk to brick walls. I spoke to everyone. I spoke

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Speaker 2: to everyone I talked to. I'd talk to anyone that

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Speaker 2: was standing around, I'd introduced myself, say hello, and I

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Speaker 2: was just I was just experiencing life, you know.

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Speaker 1: I was just a kid in a candy.

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Speaker 2: Store, not knowing forty one, not knowing which candy to pick,

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Speaker 2: you know, And I went to every I did. I

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Speaker 2: did try a lot of crazy parties, I'll admit, but

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Speaker 2: you know they weren't for me. But like you know,

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Speaker 2: it was it was.

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Speaker 4: I was the first time you had alcohol. You should

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Speaker 4: have drink.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, you could have drink, you know, like here

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Speaker 2: and there, But I never drank. But now I own

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Speaker 2: a cocktail bar now, Candy Luxe, and honestly, I don't

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Speaker 2: even drink that much now, but I'll have a couple

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Speaker 2: of cocktails and a few wet pussy shots.

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Speaker 1: I've been waiting for you, so you went. I want

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Speaker 1: to ask baby yep, on those podiums.

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Speaker 2: And just living life, just war, Okay. I used to

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Speaker 2: wear neck to knee clothing. Never bosed my body like,

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Speaker 2: can't wear bikinis, can't wear nothing.

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Speaker 1: Oh I had, I had a boob job.

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Speaker 4: I got I just as soon as you left.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do three sixty. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: People cannot believe how I just turned myself around, you know,

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Speaker 2: and I.

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Speaker 1: Just I just did. I don't know, there was something

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Speaker 1: inside of me.

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Speaker 2: I was suppressed for so long, and I just felt

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Speaker 2: like my personality because I'm a Gemini as well, if

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Speaker 2: you know anything about Gemini June one. I I just

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Speaker 2: wanted to live life. I am a party person. That's

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Speaker 2: what I felt. I felt like I'd missed out on

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Speaker 2: so much and that's why i'm That's why I've never

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Speaker 2: stopped now And you know, how did you pick?

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Speaker 4: Can? I just why did you pick the gay scene

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Speaker 4: to go?

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Speaker 2: Because I think I can relate to them, you know,

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Speaker 2: like they they're kind of in the same not the same,

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Speaker 2: but like because they don't they don't a lot of

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Speaker 2: their parents cut them off as well, you know, and

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Speaker 2: I could relate to them, and I don't know why.

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Speaker 2: I just felt it was like comfortable more like, you know.

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Speaker 2: And that's where I got to know a lot of them.

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Speaker 2: Got to go to parties, went to every gay club,

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Speaker 2: went to and I ended up doing.

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Speaker 3: My own hot candy float.

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Speaker 4: How did that start?

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Speaker 2: Well, Okay, I had breast cancer. I did a breast

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Speaker 2: cancer float. I had breast cancer in two thousand and nine.

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Speaker 2: I buried one of my best friends. She had three

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Speaker 2: kids under ten and she died from breast cancer. And

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Speaker 2: I thought, I'll just go and check, you know. And

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Speaker 2: I just had my implants in for two years, two years,

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Speaker 2: twelve thousand dollars. And then I went and three doctors

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Speaker 2: walked in the room after my scan and they go,

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Speaker 2: you've got to have a double misectomy. You've got to

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Speaker 2: get them cut off. I'll go, are you fucking kidding me?

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Speaker 2: So I had to go have a big operation thirteen hours.

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Speaker 2: What they did was they took out the implants, they

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Speaker 2: took all the tissue out, They cut my back.

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Speaker 1: Right across my back.

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Speaker 2: They split the lapstore see, and they put it into

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Speaker 2: my for reconstruction. So I said, I'm not leaving this

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Speaker 2: hospital and do you re construct me?

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Speaker 1: And also I was cut open from the back, cut

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Speaker 1: open from the front.

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Speaker 2: Recovery without a word of a lie, was at least

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Speaker 2: three or four years before I could feel because like

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Speaker 2: sometimes you know, I can feel like if I do this,

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Speaker 2: I can feel like my muscle in my It's just weird.

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Speaker 1: The operation is weird. But anyway, I did it, So

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Speaker 1: I did it. I'm alive. Hey, thirteen years high, five

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Speaker 1: to that