1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,640
Speaker 1: From the newsroom and news still come today.

2
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:09,240
Speaker 2: Gooday there, I'm Andrew Buckler. We've got some fantastic stories

3
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,080
Speaker 2: online for you at news dot com at dot au

4
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,960
Speaker 2: right now, including the coverage from yesterday's American Music Awards.

5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,160
Speaker 2: Nick Bond, our entertainment editor, covered that for our site. Nick,

6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,640
Speaker 2: I'm not going to give you long here. I want

7
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,960
Speaker 2: you to run me through the three standout moments from

8
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:22,680
Speaker 2: the award show.

9
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,120
Speaker 1: Okay, well, for all the wrong reasons. Blake Shelton's performance

10
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,200
Speaker 1: was pretty amazing. He opened the show, there was absolutely

11
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,440
Speaker 1: no audio whatsoever coming from him or the band, and

12
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,440
Speaker 1: they just carried on with the performance for three minutes

13
00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:36,760
Speaker 1: and all we heard was some off key clapping from

14
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,360
Speaker 1: people in the audience. And then they finished, everyone clapped,

15
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,080
Speaker 1: and we just pretended that that hadn't happened and that

16
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:41,760
Speaker 1: we'd actually heard it.

17
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:42,879
Speaker 3: I can't believe they led it.

18
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,640
Speaker 2: To go on for that long. That's shocking.

19
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,360
Speaker 1: I've been checking your socials. He's just like, wasn't that

20
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,240
Speaker 1: a great performance? I'm like, has anyone told you we

21
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,159
Speaker 1: couldn't hear you? What else happened? Well, this is a

22
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,760
Speaker 1: personal favorite for me. Janet Jackson got the Icon Award

23
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,560
Speaker 1: as well she should, and she brought us all the

24
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,080
Speaker 1: way back to two thousand and one. She did a

25
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,560
Speaker 1: great medley of two of her greatest songs, someone to

26
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,600
Speaker 1: Call My Life and All for You, both released in

27
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,320
Speaker 1: two thousand and one. It was like the last twenty

28
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,520
Speaker 1: four years hadn't happened, which I loved. And third and final, Yes,

29
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,480
Speaker 1: Best Side Eye of the Year. Country stars Shahboozy and

30
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,959
Speaker 1: Meghan Maroney both presented a Country Award, and while they

31
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,760
Speaker 1: were doing their little spiel, Meghan said that the Carter family,

32
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,600
Speaker 1: who were a folk band from the sort of twenties

33
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,120
Speaker 1: to the fifties, basically invented country music, and Shahboozi had

34
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 1: a visceral reaction to that. It sort of went side eye,

35
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,360
Speaker 1: eye roll, then scoff. It was very much not a bit.

36
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,520
Speaker 2: We have got that video online at news dot com

37
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,520
Speaker 2: dot aye go check it out now, as well as

38
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,280
Speaker 2: Nick's coverage of the event and the Red carpraate. But

39
00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,520
Speaker 2: that's not what we're chatting about in this podcast today.

40
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,679
Speaker 2: One thing that has come out in the last twenty

41
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,880
Speaker 2: four hours is that more and more couples are choosing

42
00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,640
Speaker 2: to sleep separately. Nick you're still here. You don't sleep

43
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,680
Speaker 2: in a separate bed to your partner?

44
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,720
Speaker 1: Dude, No, but that's only because we have one bedroom.

45
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,800
Speaker 2: I am all for it. In this episode, we are

46
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,480
Speaker 2: going to find out why people are doing it, how

47
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:05,920
Speaker 2: many ossies are doing it? Well, ruin your relationship? Joining

48
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,800
Speaker 2: me now in the studios. News dot Com dot US

49
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,160
Speaker 2: lifestyle editor Rebecca Scanlan can I bes hey, Bucky, some

50
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,320
Speaker 2: interesting sleep sets have been revealed. What can you tell me?

51
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:15,200
Speaker 2: That's right?

52
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,520
Speaker 4: Ozzi's are a nation of bad sleepers. According to res

53
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,919
Speaker 4: Med's twenty twenty five Global Sleep Survey, one in three

54
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,280
Speaker 4: Aussies are having difficulty falling or staying asleep at night.

55
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, this is basically my life to a tea,

56
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:32,200
Speaker 2: I'm an awful sleeper. What else has res Med found out?

57
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:36,040
Speaker 4: Sleeping troubles can be a massive issue for those who

58
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,480
Speaker 4: share a home with somebody else. So okay, yeah, So basically,

59
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,400
Speaker 4: if you've got a partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, whatever,

60
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,400
Speaker 4: they're causing you to have a terrible night's sleep.

61
00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,120
Speaker 2: How widespread is this problem?

62
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:47,200
Speaker 3: Me?

63
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,480
Speaker 2: Here in Australia it's.

64
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,560
Speaker 4: At least one in three ossie is saying their partners

65
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 4: are keeping them up at night?

66
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, And what is it? Is it their partner's snoring?

67
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,239
Speaker 2: Is that the main thing?

68
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,280
Speaker 4: I think that's the main thing. Yeah, but it can

69
00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,519
Speaker 4: also be stuff like body heat and people move, tossing

70
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,240
Speaker 4: and turning, that sort of stuff.

71
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:07,560
Speaker 2: So, how many ossies then are sleeping separately from their partner?

72
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,920
Speaker 2: Because I believe Raise Men has some stats about this,

73
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,160
Speaker 2: that's right.

74
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,520
Speaker 4: So this issue has caused a growing trend among couples,

75
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,560
Speaker 4: with forty seven percent of ozzies saying they have done

76
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,520
Speaker 4: a sleep divorce.

77
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,760
Speaker 2: A sleep divorce, this is what we're calling it now.

78
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,840
Speaker 2: So that's where you sleep separately from your partner.

79
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, sleep divorce or sleep separation. Some have called it.

80
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,360
Speaker 2: Forty seven percent, so almost one in two ossies who

81
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:33,359
Speaker 2: are in a relationship. What about the impact that this

82
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,880
Speaker 2: has on relationships, because this obviously raises questions if you're

83
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,960
Speaker 2: not sharing a bed with your partner, does it ruin

84
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,200
Speaker 2: your relationship in any way?

85
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,640
Speaker 4: Look, I think it depends on your relationship. I know

86
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,320
Speaker 4: that I can talk personally on this.

87
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,000
Speaker 2: Okay, let's get into that. So you sleep separately from

88
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,560
Speaker 2: your partner, I do, I do it.

89
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,920
Speaker 4: It happened kind of organically. Actually, my boyfriend has really

90
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,560
Speaker 4: bad snoring, he actually has sleep apnea, and we were

91
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,280
Speaker 4: just waking up hating each other, so we decided to

92
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,400
Speaker 4: sleep in one in the spare room, one in the

93
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,480
Speaker 4: main bedroom. Yeah, and it actually works brilliantly for us.

94
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,800
Speaker 2: So you do that seven nights a week, most nights.

95
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,000
Speaker 3: And when you.

96
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,520
Speaker 2: Say it works brilliantly for you, what do you mean

97
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,960
Speaker 2: by that? You just better rested. Yeah.

98
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,840
Speaker 4: So the first time we ever did it, actually, my

99
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,920
Speaker 4: boyfriend said to me, He's like, wow, you don't look

100
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,200
Speaker 4: like you hate me this morning.

101
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,880
Speaker 2: But what about I don't want to get too personal,

102
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,360
Speaker 2: but the intimacy issue? Does that arise so to speak?

103
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,080
Speaker 4: No, not for us, I mean I'm not It feels

104
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,960
Speaker 4: a bit wrong to talk about my sex life at work,

105
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 4: so I might spare you the graphic details. But yeah,

106
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,160
Speaker 4: for us, I mean, those moments kind of sort of happened.

107
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,720
Speaker 4: I tend to go to bed a lot earlier than

108
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,240
Speaker 4: my partner because I get up earlier for work. I'll

109
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,360
Speaker 4: go to bed, he'll come up maybe half an hour later,

110
00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:44,320
Speaker 4: say hello.

111
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,840
Speaker 2: I know that this is also a growing trend, not

112
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,240
Speaker 2: only here in Australia, but also over in the States,

113
00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,160
Speaker 2: all you gotta do is go on TikTok and there

114
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,360
Speaker 2: are so many video sharing their stories. Obviously a lot

115
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,960
Speaker 2: of people say a sleep separation has worked for their relationship.

116
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:00,920
Speaker 2: Let's have listened to that.

117
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,920
Speaker 5: Ten years ago, my husband and I started sleeping in

118
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,400
Speaker 5: separate bedrooms, and let me tell you, it was the

119
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,400
Speaker 5: best thing ever. We get the most amazing sleep. I mean,

120
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,120
Speaker 5: there are so many benefits. Her husband prefers a firmer mattress.

121
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,240
Speaker 5: I'm on the softer side. I stay up a little

122
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,760
Speaker 5: bit later because he has to get up at three

123
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,240
Speaker 5: thirty in the morning because he has a super early

124
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,040
Speaker 5: work schedule. He likes to sleep hot in the winter.

125
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,800
Speaker 5: I like to sleep a little cooler. So we get

126
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,599
Speaker 5: to set our own temperatures. We get to pick our

127
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,480
Speaker 5: own bedding that mikes us most comfortable.

128
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,560
Speaker 6: My wife and I have been doing that for four years.

129
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,479
Speaker 6: We've been together eleven the past four years, we've gotten

130
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:33,440
Speaker 6: our own bedrooms. Sleep is improved immensely. We no longer

131
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,120
Speaker 6: wake each other up. We can also go to bed

132
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,480
Speaker 6: when we want. And then the biggest thing that has

133
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,080
Speaker 6: truly been incredible is the romantic side. Because it almost

134
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,520
Speaker 6: feels like we're dating again and we'll have sleepovers, or

135
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,600
Speaker 6: she'll come to my place, I'll go to her place,

136
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,719
Speaker 6: and it just makes it really fun.

137
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:49,760
Speaker 3: I wake up.

138
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:54,239
Speaker 7: Happier and well rested, and he doesn't have to suffer

139
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,960
Speaker 7: eye daggers and death threats from a sleep deprived honey badger.

140
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:04,159
Speaker 7: You know, sleep devour implies something negative, but you know

141
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,720
Speaker 7: what's truly negative.

142
00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:08,239
Speaker 3: Murder.

143
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,480
Speaker 2: On the flip side, though, there are some people who

144
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,640
Speaker 2: say sleep divorces haven't worked for them. Let's have a

145
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,960
Speaker 2: listener to what they've had to say. I'll be real,

146
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,000
Speaker 2: it wasn't good for us.

147
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:18,320
Speaker 3: Really.

148
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,080
Speaker 2: It caused like a lot of like division, which wouldn't

149
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,480
Speaker 2: be on the same page. You were just like kind

150
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,960
Speaker 2: of since just like a weird vibe in the house.

151
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:30,520
Speaker 8: Co sleeping is it's fundamental to our survival. It was

152
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,359
Speaker 8: physically when we were in the cave, but now I

153
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:36,520
Speaker 8: would say emotionally, spiritually, it's fundamental to our survival.

154
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,120
Speaker 6: I think sleeping in separate bedrooms is not just a

155
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,760
Speaker 6: cause that can lead to divorce, but it's also an

156
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,799
Speaker 6: effect of a fractured relationship.

157
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:45,640
Speaker 2: I really think it's both of those. So some say

158
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,000
Speaker 2: it's been a game changer for their relationship. Others like

159
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,160
Speaker 2: the ones we just heard say it's an awful idea.

160
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,960
Speaker 2: We're going to investigate this further. Right after the ad break,

161
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,920
Speaker 2: we'll be joined by a couple's therapists who's going to

162
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,039
Speaker 2: give us his opinion and some tips on how to

163
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,560
Speaker 2: make it work if you want to give it a go.

164
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,680
Speaker 2: Welcome back. Joining me now is Sean Baker Surrecly, a

165
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,880
Speaker 2: couple therapists from Dromoyne Psychology and the author of the

166
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,120
Speaker 2: book The Eight Love Links, which is out now.

167
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,560
Speaker 3: Kaday Shan, They're great to be here.

168
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,480
Speaker 2: We are talking about sleep divorces, where couples sleep in

169
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,480
Speaker 2: separate bedrooms to get a more RESTful sleep on the whole?

170
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,440
Speaker 2: Do you think they're a good idea or a bad

171
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,080
Speaker 2: idea for relationships?

172
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,440
Speaker 9: So I've got to say under the provisor that I'm

173
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,400
Speaker 9: a bit of a romantic and a couple's therapists, So

174
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:37,840
Speaker 9: they're not my favorite idea, but they can be helpful

175
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,400
Speaker 9: in some circumstances.

176
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 2: All right, taught me through it. Why are they not

177
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:42,680
Speaker 2: your favorite thing?

178
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 3: Well, there's a couple of reasons. The main reason is

179
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,760
Speaker 3: coming together at the end of the night.

180
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,520
Speaker 9: It just allow us for a bit of a nice

181
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,080
Speaker 9: kind of routine for the relationship. But you can have it.

182
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,000
Speaker 9: You can have moments of connection and intimacy. And I'm

183
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,880
Speaker 9: not talking about you know, long, deep and meaningfuls in

184
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,920
Speaker 9: it might just be a little snuggle, might just be

185
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,240
Speaker 9: reading next to each other, but kind of coming together

186
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,880
Speaker 9: at the end of the night and being a couple

187
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:08,840
Speaker 9: just unwhinting.

188
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,440
Speaker 3: It's just a nice point of connection.

189
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,760
Speaker 9: And if you can maintain a good sleep routine together,

190
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,800
Speaker 9: it can just be really healthy for the relationship. So

191
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,880
Speaker 9: if you close off the world that you're in your

192
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,440
Speaker 9: room together snuggling away.

193
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,360
Speaker 3: As I said, I'm a bit of a romantic, it

194
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:23,880
Speaker 3: can be really good for the relationship.

195
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,320
Speaker 2: What about those couples that just really struggle to sleep

196
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,560
Speaker 2: together though, that kind of have all this tension in

197
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,160
Speaker 2: the relationship because they're not getting a good night's sleep.

198
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,920
Speaker 9: Absolutely, so I think when it can improve your sleep quality,

199
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:41,320
Speaker 9: it's absolutely a good idea. So if one person is

200
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,959
Speaker 9: a really restless sleeper, or somebody has a problem with

201
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,480
Speaker 9: snoring and the other person's a light sleeper, or perhaps

202
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,120
Speaker 9: somebody does shift work, or they're just really opposite that

203
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,839
Speaker 9: one person likes to get a bed early and the

204
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,680
Speaker 9: other just refuses to entertain that idea. Having sleep disturbance

205
00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,360
Speaker 9: and getting poor sleep quality, it's going to add to

206
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,920
Speaker 9: the relationship tension. People are going to be more moody

207
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,599
Speaker 9: into stress. So that's when it's a good idea. You

208
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,440
Speaker 9: just got to be careful not to get into any

209
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,880
Speaker 9: kind of pitfalls around it.

210
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,880
Speaker 2: Well, let's talk about those pitfalls. What are the dangers

211
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,960
Speaker 2: of having a sleep divorce.

212
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,200
Speaker 9: Yeah, so the biggest danger is is like the real

213
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,079
Speaker 9: reason you're doing it. So, as I said, if this

214
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,320
Speaker 9: improves sleep quality, big green tick. But if there's a

215
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,200
Speaker 9: bit of avoidance going on in the relationship, so avoidance

216
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:30,160
Speaker 9: of emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, or the relationship in general,

217
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,079
Speaker 9: it can just be another big step to be separate

218
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,080
Speaker 9: in the relationship. And it also depends what people are

219
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,360
Speaker 9: doing alone in the bedroom. So if you're kind of

220
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,920
Speaker 9: on your phone separately, then you're kind of just having

221
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,200
Speaker 9: a relationship with your phone instead of your partner, and

222
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,160
Speaker 9: you know, that could be really bad for your sleep

223
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,559
Speaker 9: and the relationship to depending on what you're doing.

224
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,920
Speaker 2: So, what are the right ways to do it? Say

225
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,559
Speaker 2: it's beneficial for both people in the relationship to sleep separately,

226
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,480
Speaker 2: what can they do to make sure it doesn't damage

227
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,760
Speaker 2: their actual relationship.

228
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a fantastic question.

229
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,800
Speaker 9: So the first thing you want to do is talk

230
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,400
Speaker 9: to your partner about the reasons why you think it's

231
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,320
Speaker 9: a good idea, and the reason for that should just

232
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,400
Speaker 9: be to improve sleep quality and so that when you

233
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,720
Speaker 9: do come to reconnect, you're both feeling refreshed.

234
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,319
Speaker 3: You know you're going to be in a better mood.

235
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,600
Speaker 9: What you want to talk about is what you know

236
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,560
Speaker 9: you don't want it to be. Basically, you know, someone

237
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,120
Speaker 9: going for sleep cloding the other person going for avoidance.

238
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,240
Speaker 9: That's when it can be a problem problem. So you

239
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,640
Speaker 9: want to make sure if it is an avoidance of

240
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:37,440
Speaker 9: the relationship, then it's kind of covering a hidden problem,

241
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,280
Speaker 9: and we don't want that to remain hidden. You want

242
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,920
Speaker 9: to talk about that and make sure you know the

243
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,679
Speaker 9: sleep divorce is temporary until you work on that aspect

244
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,439
Speaker 9: of the relationship, or simply work on that aspect of

245
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,200
Speaker 9: the relationship that might be problematic.

246
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,079
Speaker 2: And I guess one of the things from an outsider's

247
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,880
Speaker 2: point of view is if you're in a relationship and

248
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,480
Speaker 2: you did this, so many people would be like, what

249
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,560
Speaker 2: about the intimacy, Like, when do you two hooking up

250
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,840
Speaker 2: if you're sleeping in a separate bed night. How do

251
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,480
Speaker 2: you kind of keep the passion in the relationship if

252
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,080
Speaker 2: you're sleeping in separate bedrooms?

253
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,760
Speaker 9: So you know, I think if you've got a good

254
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,880
Speaker 9: sleep routine together and you can still do it separately.

255
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,360
Speaker 9: So let's say, for example, at the end of the night,

256
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,440
Speaker 9: you do go and have a nice snuggle or you

257
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,120
Speaker 9: even have great sex and then a little bit of

258
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,760
Speaker 9: a kiss goodbye, and then you go after your separate

259
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,720
Speaker 9: rooms and you have a nice, deep, quality sleep.

260
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,720
Speaker 3: That can work really really well. So it's about working

261
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:27,440
Speaker 3: together as.

262
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,120
Speaker 9: A team to optimize that and making sure that the

263
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:34,240
Speaker 9: relationship is still a priority. Some people actually say that

264
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,520
Speaker 9: it can actually increase some of the excitement because bed

265
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,840
Speaker 9: together just becomes about that intimacy.

266
00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:42,920
Speaker 3: So it can have a positive kind of impact there

267
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:43,439
Speaker 3: as well.

268
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,240
Speaker 2: And in your work at Jermaine's Psychology, do you see

269
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,800
Speaker 2: more and more couples opting for this choice of sleeping

270
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 2: in separate rooms.

271
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,480
Speaker 9: Well, I've got to say, Andrew, to be honest, people

272
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,880
Speaker 9: who are in more trouble are more likely to be

273
00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 9: see sleeping in separate rooms. However, it's definitely a recommend

274
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,440
Speaker 9: a thing when it comes to lifestyle issues, and there's

275
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:04,960
Speaker 9: lots of different things. As I said, there could be

276
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,440
Speaker 9: a little baby and it could be that mum needs

277
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,800
Speaker 9: a good night's sleep, so you know, Dad's staying with

278
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,720
Speaker 9: the baby that night and Mum's going to the separate

279
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,160
Speaker 9: room or or the reverse. You know, that could be

280
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,040
Speaker 9: an important aspect as well. So with the sleep quality

281
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,960
Speaker 9: aspect of it, I think that it is it is

282
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,280
Speaker 9: on the increase a bit because we know how important

283
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,160
Speaker 9: sleep is, but it can be assigned that there's something

284
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:26,920
Speaker 9: long as well.

285
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,720
Speaker 2: Oh dear, all right, we've given us plenty to think about.

286
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,600
Speaker 2: Sean Backers directly, thank you so much for chatting to

287
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,600
Speaker 2: from the newsroom.

288
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,319
Speaker 3: No problem, my pleasure.

289
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,400
Speaker 2: I'll be honest, I've never actually lived with a partner before,

290
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,679
Speaker 2: so this hasn't been something I've had to worry about before.

291
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,800
Speaker 2: But let me tell you, when I do move in

292
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,640
Speaker 2: with a partner, I will one hundred percent be pushing

293
00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:47,640
Speaker 2: for separate bedrooms. I am all for this, So if

294
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,720
Speaker 2: any of my future partners are listening, you've been warned, Okay,

295
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,440
Speaker 2: and please reach out because I'm free all weekend. Wouldn't

296
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,040
Speaker 2: mind having a drink, all right, Thank you so much

297
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,360
Speaker 2: for listening. I'll jot you again tomorrow follow.

298
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,360
Speaker 1: I'll subscribe to from the newsroom where

299
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,600
Speaker 3: Ever you get your podcast.