1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: The public has had a long held fascination with detectives. 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: Detective see a side of life. The average person has 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: never exposed her I spent thirty four years as a cop. 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: For twenty five of those years, I was catching killers. 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,280 Speaker 1: That's what I did for a living. I was a 6 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 1: homicide detective. I'm no longer just interviewing bad guys. Instead, 7 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: I'm taking the public into the world in which I operated. 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: The guests I talk to each week have amazing stories 9 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: from all sides of the law. The interviews are raw 10 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: and honest, just like the people I talk to. Some 11 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: of the content and language might be confronting. That's because 12 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: no one who comes into contact with crime is left unchanged. 13 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: Join me now as I take you into this world. 14 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of I Catch Killers. Today we 15 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: have a deeply personal episode from a person who found 16 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: herself the victim of a fraudser who betrayed her trust 17 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: in the most heartless way. Now, throughout my policing career, 18 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: I locked up all types of criminals, horrendous crimes, but 19 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 1: the one type of offender who always got under my 20 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: skin were fraudsters. I just find them despicable human beings 21 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: who deliberately prey on honest, hard working people. The financial 22 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: impact they have on the victims can be devastating, but 23 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: more importantly, the loss of faith in human nature can 24 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: have a deep impact. Today's guest, Tracy Hall, had a 25 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: life destroyed by the actions of one man. As she 26 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: described in a book, The Last Victim, I felt financially betrayed, 27 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: emotionally destroyed, and stripped bare of everything I thought was real. 28 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 1: But Tracy is not going to let a low life 29 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: like Hamish McLaren define her life. She has spoken out 30 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: about how this man came into a life, stole a heart, 31 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: trust and money. Tracy's an impressive person, hard working, successful 32 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: woman whose only mistake was putting her trust in a 33 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: man who made his living deceiving people. Her story and 34 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: other victim stories were covered in a hugely successful podcast 35 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: series called Who the Hell Is Hamish Today. She's bravely 36 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: agreed to come on the Eye Catch Killers podcast and 37 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: share her story in the hope that others can learn 38 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: from what she discovered on just how we all need 39 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,920 Speaker 1: to be careful with the trust we put in other people, 40 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 1: even those we love. Tracy Hall, welcome to I Catch Killers. 41 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 2: Hey, Gary, how are you good? 42 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: Good? Look? Thank you so much for coming on the 43 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: podcast to tell your story. I think it's we're all. 44 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: I think we go through life and we all meet 45 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: people that their intent is probably not what they first portray, 46 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: and we've all been victims of scams and frauds. So 47 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,079 Speaker 1: I think people are going to really buy into your 48 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,519 Speaker 1: story because I've read your book over the weekend, The 49 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: Last Victim, and I've got to say, I can see 50 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: how you would be deceived when someone's so highly motivated 51 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: to this is the endgame. I'll do what they have 52 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 1: to do. It can really bring you unstuck. I've got 53 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: to ask, but what motivates you to talk out about it? 54 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: Because a lot of people that are victims of scams 55 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: and that there's an embarrassment attached to it, they just 56 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: want to let it pass by. 57 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent. 58 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 3: It took me a long time to talk about it, 59 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,279 Speaker 3: to be honest, I was so ashamed, I was so embarrassed. 60 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 3: I was really trying to put the pieces together in 61 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 3: my own mind about what had happened. And what I 62 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 3: realized was that I had never really heard a story 63 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,800 Speaker 3: like this before. And it wasn't until I started talking 64 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 3: about it that people came to me and said, Oh, 65 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 3: that happened to my parents, or that happened to my auntie, 66 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,399 Speaker 3: that happened to me, And I thought, you know what, 67 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 3: these stories need to be told to educate people, to 68 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 3: warn other people, and also to release people of the 69 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 3: shame and embarrassment similar to what I felt, because it 70 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 3: does happen more often than you think, and it can 71 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 3: happen to anyone. 72 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, when you talk the shame and embarrassment, it's funny, 73 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: isn't it, Because we all like to think we're not 74 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: nai even no one can pull the wool over our eyes. 75 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: But it happens time and again. 76 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it happens to you know, incredibly intelligent, well traveled, 77 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 3: educated people, like. 78 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 2: It really can happen to anyone. 79 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,120 Speaker 3: And I think, you know, sometimes the stories that you 80 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 3: hear on the news, you have this picture of who 81 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 3: might be someone that gets scammed, and quite often it's 82 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 3: sort of a lonely middle aged woman sitting in a 83 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 3: lounge room looking for love on the internet and suddenly 84 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: she gives her life savings to an African prince. And 85 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 3: you know, those stories don't help because most of us 86 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 3: brush past them and say, well, that would never be me. 87 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 3: I would never fall for that, And to be honest, 88 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 3: I was one of those people. And yet here I 89 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 3: am I lost my life savings to someone who pretended 90 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:28,280 Speaker 3: to love me. 91 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: Well, that's where what happened to you is a double 92 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: edged sword, isn't it, Because it not only stole your 93 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: finances but your emotions. And I would imagine that hurts, 94 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: if not more, at least just as much as losing 95 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,599 Speaker 1: the finances when you put your love and trust in 96 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: the someone. 97 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 3: I think that's a common theme is that you know, 98 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 3: finance is a one thing. You can always make money. 99 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 3: If you're motivated, if you've got the right mindset, you 100 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 3: can make money. It's the emotional betrayal and the emotional 101 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 3: rebuilding that is the hardest. In building that trust in 102 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 3: yourself probably first and foremost, but also the world around 103 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 3: you because you for me, for example, i'd never come 104 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 3: across anything like Hamish. You never been exposed to someone 105 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 3: who was so callously deceiving me, intentionally for their own 106 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 3: financial gain, and so everything you think about the world 107 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 3: comes unstuck. 108 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: It makes sense. I often think about how people become 109 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: victims of what happened to you, or other scams, or 110 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 1: where people have been just playing simple taken advantage. I've 111 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: been a cop for a long time, so I'm not 112 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: naive in what people are capable of. But I still 113 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 1: like to see the good in human nature. And I 114 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: can't believe someone would be so motivated to rip people off, 115 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 1: basically take things from them. And I think that's where 116 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: we come unstuck. Because if you are and we've got 117 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: to go through life, you don't want to suspect everyone. 118 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: We want to go through life putting a degree of 119 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 1: trust because most people are good, genuinely good. But that's 120 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: the aspect that they pray on because they don't think 121 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: anyone would be aware of how deceptive they can be. 122 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you don't suspect somebody, you're not looking 123 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 3: for those red flags, you know. You you know, I 124 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 3: think we all go through life trusting people. You know, 125 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 3: I talk a lot about there are these invisible contracts 126 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 3: of trust that exist within our society that makes the 127 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:25,599 Speaker 3: world work. 128 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 2: You know, you go to. 129 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 3: The doctor, you don't ask to see their medical degree. 130 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 3: You trust that they are going to prescribe the right 131 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 3: medication for you because of their qualifications. You drive down 132 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 3: the road and you trust the person coming in the 133 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,919 Speaker 3: other direction knows the road rules, has their license, hasn't 134 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 3: been drinking. 135 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 2: You get on an. 136 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 3: Aeroplane, you don't swing left with your portable breathalyzer, and 137 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 3: you know, ask the pilots to do a quick test 138 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 3: because you trust that they are abiding by the rules 139 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 3: and regulations that we have in our society to make 140 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 3: it work. And then so we have these kind of 141 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 3: like you know, these these these moments where people prey 142 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 3: on that trust when you're not suspecting it. Because most 143 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 3: of the time we do go throughout life thinking the 144 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 3: best of people, and most times people have your best 145 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 3: interest at harsh it's just the ones that don't that, 146 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 3: like you said, do pray on that spot in you 147 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 3: that doesn't suspect. 148 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: And we've got to try and find that balance between 149 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: a little bit a little bit of suspicion attached, not 150 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: too naive, but also be able to go through life 151 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: trusting people. And you want to be able to do that. 152 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: You talked about red flags, and I know this in 153 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: your book you refer to them at the time. They're 154 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: just flags with the benefit of hindsight, and let me 155 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: tell you, we're all very wise with the benefit of hindsight. Oh, 156 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have done that, but you don't know unless 157 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,440 Speaker 1: you're in that situation. And I think with your situation too, 158 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 1: it was you weren't looking out for a person that 159 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 1: wasn't part of your life. You let this person into 160 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: your life, and he manipulated that situation, so he was 161 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: part of your life. So the very person that you 162 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: put your most trust in is the one that's deceiving you. 163 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: It's just it's so cruel and. 164 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 3: Just I mean, from my experience in this particular experience, 165 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 3: the level that was gone, to the level of detail 166 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 3: that was gone to create a fake PERSONA knowing that 167 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 3: if he was this person, I would fall more deeply 168 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 3: in love with him and trust him more was even 169 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 3: more callous in a lot of ways because he created 170 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 3: different people, like a different persona for different people. So 171 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 3: he just found out what it was exactly that would, 172 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 3: you know, get me to trust him and love him, 173 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 3: and he just double down on that. 174 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: It's creepy. That's probably not a very appropriate word, but 175 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: it's creepy that someone can go to cruel to the 176 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: extent the way I want to tell your story and 177 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: if you're you're happy with it, I'd like people just 178 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: to hear it in a chronological flow. So we'll talk 179 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: about obviously how it all ended, but let's talk about 180 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 1: you as a person growing up. Let's get a sense 181 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: of who you were. 182 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 2: Wow, we're going way back. 183 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 3: I had a pretty average upbringing, i'd say, very you know, 184 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 3: working middle class. I have two brothers, one of the 185 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,319 Speaker 3: side of me. So I grew up playing a lot 186 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 3: of sport. If I couldn't catch a footy, I was 187 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 3: out of the family pretty much. So lots and lots 188 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 3: of sports. Very kind of wholesome upbringing Northern New South 189 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 3: Wales and Southeast Queensland. And you know, my parents both 190 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 3: worked really hard. 191 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 2: We had a. 192 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 3: Great education, and I've traveled a lot. So I did 193 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 3: the obligatory a couple of years overseas. Yeah, straight after, 194 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 3: you know, I got the backpack and went to London, 195 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 3: did that and came back and went to university in 196 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 3: all the New South Wales, studying sports science. 197 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 2: I mean, just study something you love. 198 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: I reckon. 199 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 3: So that's what I did, and I ended up in 200 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 3: sports marketing and traveled down to Sydney in nineteen ninety 201 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,320 Speaker 3: eight straight after UNI and got a job at the 202 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 3: Olympics Stadium, which was a dream, you know, working on 203 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 3: that as they were building. 204 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,679 Speaker 1: It build up for the two thousand. 205 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, and building the stadium and getting it all organized 206 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 3: and the membership base and the marketing and the website 207 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 3: and all of that back in the late nineties was 208 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 3: pretty cool. And then all of the events that led 209 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 3: into the Olympics to test the stadium, so I saw 210 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 3: some of the biggest sporting events in the world, like 211 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 3: it was incredible, and then of course the Olympics. So yeah, 212 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 3: it had sort of set my career up that way, 213 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 3: and moved on through to finance, worked for a hedge 214 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 3: fund where it's in Telco, and more recently worked in 215 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 3: global tech companies so eBay and go Daddy after pay Block. 216 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 217 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: Okay, So for all intents and purposes, life was pretty 218 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: interesting and a good childhood. Grew up and I think 219 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: things were going well for you. And the excitement of 220 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: the Sydney Olympics. Yeah, I obviously live in Sydney and 221 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,679 Speaker 1: I worked at the Sydney Olympics and that was it 222 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: was just a great time. 223 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was an amazing to. 224 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 1: Being involved in involved in that and the lead up 225 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 1: to it. Then I can see why you're so excited. 226 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 1: You talk about working marketing and different things you did. 227 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: I've got to ask because you've made reference to it 228 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: in the book and I'm going off topic here, but 229 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: I'm just curious. The virtual shopping. Oh yeah, talk us 230 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: through that. What was that about? 231 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 2: Well, so it was when. 232 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: And I'm saying this was someone that still gets nervous 233 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: doing online shopping on their pon. 234 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 2: So I just I was just it's all right, you're 235 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 2: all good. 236 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 3: Well, it was when the virtual reality the headsets were 237 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 3: coming out. What we've seen at eBay was a really 238 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 3: huge spike in people buying the headsets, and mostly for gaming, 239 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 3: to be honest. But what it was bringing about was 240 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 3: some technology that sort of started to open up a 241 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:48,680 Speaker 3: virtual world. 242 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,559 Speaker 2: And what we did was. 243 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 3: We created a virtual reality department store where you could 244 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 3: shop with your eyes. So you put the headset on 245 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 3: and you literally just use your eyes attract your eyeball, 246 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 3: and if you held your eye on something for long enough, 247 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 3: it would pull up that item and then you could 248 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 3: adjust the sizing, the color, whatever it might be, and 249 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 3: then you could add it to kart and then you 250 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 3: could check out with your eyes. 251 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: Wow. 252 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 3: So it was a very immersive experience. There was obviously sound, 253 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 3: there was some of those dizzy things that went on. 254 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 3: I don't know, I get a bit dizzy when I 255 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 3: do it. But yeah, it was a world first and 256 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 3: we created it. You know, the code was written from scratch. 257 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 3: It was something that had never been done before. And 258 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 3: I ended up taking over to the US, to the 259 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 3: EBA team over in the US and showcasing it over 260 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 3: there in a big conference. 261 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 2: So it was it was an incredible project to work on. 262 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: Yeah I can imagine, Yeah I can find it. Did 263 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 1: it take off? Did it well? 264 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 3: The challenge is is not everyone have has the headsets, 265 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 3: so in terms of the being able to access it, 266 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 3: and then of course we worked with a huge department 267 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 3: store in Australia and so you need, you know, you 268 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 3: need these brands to be working with you. One of 269 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 3: the challenges was the items needed to be rendered in 270 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 3: terms of having that three sixty degree looks, so it 271 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 3: wasn't just a picture flat on a page. It was 272 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 3: a completely three dimensional rended So every product needed to 273 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 3: be three sixty rented like that. 274 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 2: Now that's a pretty expensive and long. 275 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 3: Process to go through for a very small portion of 276 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 3: people that would actually end up doing it. It was 277 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 3: really more of a pr opportunity to show what's possible 278 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 3: in the future and that a company like eBay, who 279 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,439 Speaker 3: was one of the very first e com sites, actually 280 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 3: was progressive in their thinking about what the future of shopping. 281 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,160 Speaker 2: Might look like. 282 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 3: I think another challenge is shopping, you know, for a 283 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 3: lot of people as a very social event, So to 284 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 3: do that in your lounde room on your own privately 285 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 3: can be quite a lonely experienced. 286 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: Taking the experience a wife. 287 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it was sort of you know, how do 288 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 3: you circumnavigate that with technology and how do you create that? 289 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 3: But you know, certainly it's definitely something that could be 290 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 3: possible in the future. 291 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,200 Speaker 2: It's just it's a long journey. 292 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: Okay, well, I'm very curious about it. But I think 293 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 1: it also gives a sense of who you are, Like 294 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: we haven't you know, the person that's fallen in love 295 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 1: with the Nigerian prince that just needs one hundred dollars 296 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 1: so he can get his two hundred million dollars. You're 297 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 1: not that person. You've grown up healthy family, active family, 298 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 1: social life, traveled overseas, working in businesses, cutting edge, Sydney Olympics. 299 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: You're a worldly person, not a native person. Is that 300 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: a fair way to describe Tracy at that stage? 301 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 3: That's definitely how I would see myself and incredibly lucky 302 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 3: to have all of these experiences and see and do 303 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 3: what I've done in my life. 304 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, you weren't walking around with blinkers just waiting for 305 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: someone to show you attention. Then you just fall immediately. 306 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 2: No, No, and I think it's fair to say that. 307 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 3: You know, at the time when I met Hamish, I 308 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 3: was a year out of my marriage and I was 309 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 3: going through the divorce and the separation, and you know, 310 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 3: a year post that, I felt like I was ready. 311 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 3: I definitely wasn't looking for someone to sweep me off 312 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 3: my feet or I definitely wasn't looking for another husband, 313 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 3: no thanks. And you know, I was in my early forties, 314 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 3: so having more children was probably off the cards as well. 315 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 3: So it wasn't like I was desperately looking for those things. 316 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 3: I was just looking for somebody to share my time with, 317 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 3: somebody who had similar values and morals to me, some companionship, 318 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 3: and yeah, just to kind of restart that side of 319 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 3: my life. 320 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: So how long were you married for. 321 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 3: I think we were married for eight years, but together 322 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 3: for like thirteen or something like that. 323 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: And then you had a daughter to that marriage. 324 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 2: Yes, I had a daughter, so she was born in 325 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 2: twenty ten. 326 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 1: And then when you've separated, going through all the emotional 327 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 1: dramas of financial separation, everything that happens a divorce, so 328 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 1: that that can be brutal. And you said twelve months 329 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: it takes you to recover. That's I suppose that's about 330 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: an average average all the time. And then you've got 331 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 1: your life life in order, You've got a place that 332 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: you're living in, you're living with your daughter. Everything's going fine, 333 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 1: but you've decided that okay, it's time to get back 334 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: into the world of living a life. You tried online dating. 335 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 3: Yes, well, I think the thing was when I met 336 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 3: my ex husband, you know, online dating wasn't a thing. 337 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 3: You know, I met him through friends and that's how 338 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 3: you built a relationship. And the old days, the good 339 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 3: old days, and so I was re entering a world, 340 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 3: you know where this was very new to me. And 341 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 3: at that time, I was, you know, I was working 342 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 3: a huge job at eBay, I was working long hours 343 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 3: building virtual reality department stores. I was, you know, almost 344 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 3: solo parenting. I have my child most of the time, 345 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 3: still working through the divorce. You know, these things take. 346 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 2: A long time. 347 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 3: So you know, I wasn't I wasn't going out really 348 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,959 Speaker 3: at all, you know, and I was pretty pretty aware 349 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 3: that some awesome guy wasn't going to drop through my 350 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 3: ceiling while I was watching maths on a Monday night. 351 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 2: You know, I had to do something. 352 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 3: And you know, at that stage of your life, your 353 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 3: friends are all coupled up, and you know, it's it's 354 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 3: hard to meet people. 355 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 2: So what do you do? You know? 356 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 3: So, yeah, so I started, I you know, plunged headfirst 357 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 3: into the Sydney dating pool via dating apps. 358 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,360 Speaker 1: I'm smirking here because I found it funny in your 359 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 1: book that your friends were living vicariously for you with 360 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 1: your successes and disasters on the online dating Yeah. So 361 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,439 Speaker 1: it's you know, it's a brave new world. I have 362 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: no understanding about it. I can relate to watching masks 363 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: because when my relationships have been in bad times, I 364 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 1: watch that because that makes me feel better. 365 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 2: It's pretty you look at all the time, you look 366 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 2: at all. 367 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 1: The dysfunction there and go, I'm not that bad. So 368 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,479 Speaker 1: I understand that. So I think a lot of people 369 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 1: get the sense of who you were at the time 370 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,400 Speaker 1: that Okay, you've been through you've had your ups, you've 371 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,239 Speaker 1: had your downs, your successful career, but you're getting back 372 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 1: into a social life and starting to live life again 373 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:31,960 Speaker 1: after your marriage separation. What was it about Max, let's 374 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: refer to him as Max. What was it about Max 375 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 1: that talk us through the first contact, how it happened, 376 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: and just talk us through how the relationship developed. 377 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,120 Speaker 3: I think, you know, it was pretty slim pickings back 378 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 3: in twenty sixteen, if I'm honestly from what I hear, 379 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 3: it's still slim pickings now. But you know there was 380 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:55,159 Speaker 3: I swiped right on him because his photos look like 381 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 3: he just looked normal, you know, and he had you know, 382 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 3: megawatts smiley atal geographic blue eyes, and you know, he 383 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,480 Speaker 3: in these photos he was doing things that it seemed, 384 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,439 Speaker 3: you know, that he liked doing. He was running, he 385 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 3: was surfing, he was you know, just sort of have. 386 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: A fighter with his shirt off, which is. 387 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 3: No And there were no sedated tigers in Thailand. There 388 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 3: was none of that action going on. And and he 389 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 3: wasn't wearing a bond Dutch hat, so you know, things 390 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,879 Speaker 3: were looking okay, so swipes right. 391 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 2: He just looked normal, I guess. 392 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 3: And it was funny because he'd reached out to me, 393 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 3: and I didn't get back to him for like three 394 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 3: weeks or something. 395 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 2: I don't know. 396 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,679 Speaker 3: I was distracted and busy and working and whatever I 397 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 3: was doing. So our very first contact with him having 398 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 3: a bit of a jab at me saying, oh, he 399 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,879 Speaker 3: finally decided to have a chat to me, And I 400 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 3: think that's what started in terms of our connection, was 401 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 3: there was this like that was this really good banter. 402 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,280 Speaker 3: It was great conversation on the chat, and obviously then 403 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 3: we moved on to a phone a phone call, and 404 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 3: then we agreed to meet for dinner. But this all 405 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,439 Speaker 3: took quite a long time because I was in a 406 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 3: situation I was working a lot, and I was looking 407 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 3: after my child most of the time, so I didn't 408 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 3: really you know, and I think I say it in 409 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,359 Speaker 3: the book. You know, you have actually at that stage 410 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 3: of your life little time for actual dates and even 411 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 3: less time for dickheads. So you don't want to be 412 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 3: spending your time with someone that is not you know, 413 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 3: is not kind of connecting you with you in some way. So, yeah, 414 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 3: we have this connection, and he had what seemed to 415 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 3: be a very similar sort of oussy upbringing around the 416 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 3: same time, you know, in the seventies and eighties, so 417 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 3: we had a lot. 418 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,200 Speaker 2: Of common reference points. 419 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 3: You know, his banter was great, there was great chat, 420 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 3: lots of laughs, very ausy bit of Alarican. 421 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 2: So it's just easy. 422 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: Period of how long Tracy this is? 423 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 2: Well, I think we connected. 424 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 3: I don't think we met after we connected on the app, 425 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 3: so probably about a month, maybe something like that, maybe 426 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 3: even longer. I can't remember now, but I remember it 427 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 3: been quite a long time. So there was a lot 428 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:57,880 Speaker 3: of time to go back and forth and have these conversations, 429 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 3: and then of course, you know talk talk on the phone. 430 00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 1: Okay, can I just make the point here because I 431 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: just I want people to sort of really live what 432 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 1: you were going through there. That would give you some 433 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 1: comfort too, wouldn't it. It's not the type of person 434 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 1: why didn't you respond? And then sends you a hundred 435 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 1: texts and you haven't responded in five minutes and where 436 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 1: have you been? Type? So even that sets up a 437 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 1: base of normality of confidence well, this person's not a 438 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 1: try hard. He's taking his time and it's just moving 439 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: at a reasonable pace. Is that fear to describe? How? 440 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, it felt. 441 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 3: It felt really comfortable, and it didn't feel pushy like 442 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 3: you said. It just felt really normal. He seemed to understand, 443 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 3: you know, the situation I was in my corporate life, 444 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 3: the life I had with my daughter, and he wasn't 445 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 3: sort of pushing into that. It was like, you know, 446 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 3: whenever you've got time, or do you have time, and 447 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 3: we'll catch up for a meal. And that's sort of 448 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 3: how it progressed. And it was like, okay, well in 449 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,200 Speaker 3: a couple of weeks time, I've got this night. So 450 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,080 Speaker 3: and that's what we agreed to. We agreed to meet. 451 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: Okay, So the exchange via the text messaging, then a 452 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: conversation and then a meal. Describe us on the I'm sorry, 453 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm primed. Tell us about your first date. 454 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 3: This was actually this is what I did have to 455 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,159 Speaker 3: go through with the with the police. 456 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: Maybe it's a placeman in me because I'm thinking, okay, well, okay, 457 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: tell us what happened on the first Yeah, that's it. 458 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 3: So the first date, he came and he can pick 459 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,360 Speaker 3: me up in the city. He booked a restaurant. He'd 460 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 3: planned the whole thing, which was great. It was like 461 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 3: one lessing I had to sort of worry about. And 462 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,640 Speaker 3: I after work that day, I went for a drink 463 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 3: with a work colleague and we were just down in 464 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 3: the city where he's. 465 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,439 Speaker 2: Going to pick me up and having a drink. 466 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:53,320 Speaker 3: And he arrived early and we just ordered a drink 467 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 3: and I said, hey, we've just ordered a drink. Why 468 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,320 Speaker 3: don't you come in. You can meet my friend from 469 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 3: work and then we'll go. 470 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 2: And he was sort of like, oh. 471 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 3: First of all, it was like there's you know, there's 472 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:08,360 Speaker 3: no parking here that it's a no parking zone. Don't 473 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 3: worry about it. I'll just you know, I'll wait a 474 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 3: few minutes. And I'm thinking, well, I've just literally I'm like, 475 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 3: I'm just going to have to skull this and and 476 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,359 Speaker 3: I said, no, what, you just come in. 477 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 2: There's a park up around the corner. 478 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,200 Speaker 3: I told him where he could park, and he kind 479 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 3: of got a little bit shirty. But it's always hard 480 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 3: to tell with text and when you've not met anybody, impossible. 481 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was like, look. 482 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 3: If you just want to meet me at the restaurant. 483 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 3: I'll just meet you at the restaurant, or we can 484 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 3: do this another time, and knowing that it had taken 485 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 3: so long to organize this one night because of my schedule, 486 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 3: it was kind of like, oh, that's a bit, that's 487 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 3: a bit you know, bit brash or a bit you know. 488 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 2: I just it just felt a bit spicy. 489 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,960 Speaker 3: And anyway, I said, no, no, no, well I'll finish 490 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 3: up and I'll come out. And it was all about 491 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 3: the fact he couldn't park and it was no parking 492 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 3: zone and all of this. Anyway, we go up to 493 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 3: the restaurant, which was in Pot's Point, and so I 494 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,760 Speaker 3: got in the car and it was the first time 495 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,040 Speaker 3: I met him, and he was sitting down and I 496 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 3: remember having a little bit of like a sinking feeling 497 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 3: my tummy because he just wasn't kind of like what 498 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 3: he was in the photos. I mean, nobody is. And 499 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: then I thought, well, maybe I'm not what I look 500 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 3: like in my photos either, but I didn't. I remember 501 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,679 Speaker 3: looking over in the in the car and thinking, oh, 502 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 3: it's not that he's not all that. 503 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 1: I always thought with those dating apps, you'd be better off, 504 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 1: wouldn't you. Underplaying what you look like and then you 505 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 1: look better than your picture. That would have to Yes, 506 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 1: just a theory. But yeah, I don't know. 507 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 3: Maybe the people don't get as many I don't know 508 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 3: what you call them, hits or like matches or whatever. 509 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,879 Speaker 1: Okay, so you're breaking that down. You've gone for a 510 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 1: drink with a girlfriend beforehand. 511 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:52,200 Speaker 2: It was a guy from work. 512 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:56,080 Speaker 1: Heah, it can't come in, and the reluctance. I'm trying 513 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 1: to think if I was in his spot, I could 514 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 1: make a good impression on the friend or whatever, come 515 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,199 Speaker 1: in and talk. So there was a reluctance for him 516 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 1: to come in there. 517 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 3: There was a reluctance for him to do that. It 518 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 3: was all based on the fact he couldn't park, or 519 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 3: he'd been a no parking zone. Anyway, I got in 520 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 3: the car and I was like, oh, he's not all that. 521 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 3: And then we went up to the restaurant in Pot's 522 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 3: Point and we couldn't find a park and ironically, he 523 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,360 Speaker 3: parked in a no parking zone. This doesn't matter, I'll 524 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 3: just pay the fine. And I was like, but you're 525 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 3: just really spicy about not parking. This is what was 526 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 3: going on in my head, and I was just like oh, 527 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 3: but you know, by that stage we'd had a few 528 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,680 Speaker 3: laughs and it felt really comfortable, and I was like, oh, well, 529 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,160 Speaker 3: up to you. You know, it's your car, your license 530 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,360 Speaker 3: or whatever. We went for dinner and it was really nice. 531 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,520 Speaker 3: It was pretty casual, it was nothing fancy. It was 532 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 3: just this beautiful Asian restaurant and had great conversation. I 533 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 3: can't remember if he drank. He didn't drink a lot 534 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 3: at all the whole relationship. And I think I had 535 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 3: a glass of wine and we ordered and had some 536 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 3: food and we had a laugh and it was a 537 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 3: very pretty quick dinner. Actually, I was really tired. I've 538 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 3: been working really long hours. 539 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 2: And I think I yawned when he was that's not 540 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 2: that's Tracy. 541 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: Well. 542 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:19,439 Speaker 3: I think he was manologuing about something and I and I. 543 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,439 Speaker 2: Said, I'm sorry, I'm so tiny. He said it's fine, 544 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 2: we'll get you home. 545 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 3: And there was no kind of like, oh god, you know, 546 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,439 Speaker 3: why are you so tired? It's only nine o'clock. He 547 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 3: was he was very caring and said that's fine, we'll 548 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 3: get you home. And he said I'll put you in 549 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,200 Speaker 3: a cab. So we went, you know, we left the restaurant, 550 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,680 Speaker 3: didn't get a parking ticket, and that was our night. 551 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,679 Speaker 3: He put me in a cab and that was that. 552 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,720 Speaker 1: And what was your impressions after that? For the first 553 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:47,439 Speaker 1: first catch up. 554 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 3: I thought it was a really nice meal. You know, 555 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,119 Speaker 3: we'd had great conversation, we'd connected, we found out a 556 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 3: little bit more about each other. He was really interested 557 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 3: in the work I was doing at the time, the 558 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 3: virtual reality depart and store. He asked a lot of questions. 559 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 3: He was a great listener. There was banter, you know, 560 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 3: it was it wasn't all serious. There was some laughs, 561 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 3: and it felt really easy and comfortable and he had 562 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,679 Speaker 3: great chat and that was that. 563 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 1: Okay, so you left. That would be nice to catch 564 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 1: up with him again. Yeah, And who initiated that or 565 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: was the mutual so that let's do this again? 566 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was probably in a text afterwards and it 567 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,159 Speaker 3: was probably something along the lines. So, you know, that 568 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,600 Speaker 3: was a really great dinner. 569 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 2: Thank you. 570 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,560 Speaker 3: Yep, love to do it again if you're up for it. Sure, Yeah, 571 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 3: I'm up for that, you know. So it was it 572 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 3: was very casual, like there was nothing sort of formal 573 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 3: or stilted. It just felt like it flowed really. 574 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: Nicely, Okay, And how did the relationship progress past that point? 575 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,400 Speaker 1: It became more regular. 576 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, well it was kind of the time I had 577 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,879 Speaker 3: available were every second weekend and then the odd the 578 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,679 Speaker 3: odd night during the week, you know, every couple of 579 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 3: weeks or whatever. So we just planned it around my schedule. 580 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 3: There was never any pressure for me to get babysitters 581 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 3: or anything like that. It was very much in my hands. 582 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,159 Speaker 3: So we just planted around what my availability was, which 583 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 3: you know, in retrospect probably suited him quite nicely because 584 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,359 Speaker 3: he was off doing a whole bunch of other things. 585 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 3: But yeah, just whenever I was available, he would he 586 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,439 Speaker 3: would be available, and we'd go for meals, either in 587 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,639 Speaker 3: the city or somewhere close to work. And then on 588 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 3: the weekends, I think the first sort of weekend experience 589 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 3: we had together, he picked me up and we went 590 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 3: up to Palm Beach and he took the paddle boards 591 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 3: and we went paddleboarding on Pittwater and we walked up 592 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,720 Speaker 3: to baron Joey Headland and had a beautiful, beautiful walk 593 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 3: and then you know, came back down, got some cheese 594 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 3: and a beer and watched the moon rise over Avalon Headland. 595 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,240 Speaker 3: And you know, and then that was the end of 596 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 3: the day. He dropped me home and went on back 597 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 3: to Bontai himself. 598 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,960 Speaker 1: Okay, so the pace you were comfortable with the pace. 599 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,960 Speaker 2: It was a slow burn, right, yeah, very slow burn. 600 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 1: You wanted to move quicker, but it was just sort 601 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: of or it was the way you were both both were. 602 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 2: I think it was just the way we both were. 603 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 3: You know, I was still coming out of my separation 604 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 3: and divorce, and yeah, I wasn't in a rush. And 605 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,760 Speaker 3: I wasn't in a rush too, you know, like I said, 606 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 3: I wasn't looking for another husband or to have more 607 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 3: children or anything like that. So it's just I was 608 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 3: just really comfortable with the way it was. We had 609 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 3: a great time. I knew that my circumstances in situation 610 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 3: didn't allow much more than that. So that was on me, 611 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 3: which you know, it was what it was. And then 612 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 3: and then he seemed comfortable with that. 613 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: What did he reveal about himself as this relationship was developing. 614 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,479 Speaker 3: Oh, I mean there are a lot of stories, and 615 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,400 Speaker 3: you know, this is over the course of sort of 616 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 3: six or seven nine months. In the beginning, you know, 617 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 3: everything from his family situation where he told me his 618 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 3: parents had passed away in a plane crash, so he 619 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,239 Speaker 3: was sort of left in often quite young and grew 620 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 3: up in. 621 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 2: The foster system. So there was a lot of talk 622 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 2: about that. 623 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 3: There was a lot of talk about sort of, you know, 624 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 3: his career because you know, of course, we were working 625 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,080 Speaker 3: full time in corporate at this point, so it takes 626 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 3: such a big portion of your day. So when you 627 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 3: catch up at the end of the day, that's sort 628 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 3: of for what happened at work today, What have you 629 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 3: been doing, what you been working on? And he told 630 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 3: me he was a chief financial investment officer for a 631 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 3: family office, so working on a lot of sort of 632 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,480 Speaker 3: al turning investments and hedge funds and things that I 633 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 3: knew a little bit about, but not a lot. And 634 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 3: so there was a lot of chit chat about his 635 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 3: line of work and what he'd done and what he'd 636 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 3: done in the States. He told me he'd spent sixteen 637 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 3: years in America and he'd only come home about a 638 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 3: year beforehand, and he was sort of rebuilding his career here, 639 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 3: looking for a more simple life and didn't want to 640 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,600 Speaker 3: be on Wall Street and all of this kind of crap. 641 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:56,440 Speaker 2: Lots of stories, so. 642 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,479 Speaker 1: We've got this, you know, it's a heart string pull 643 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 1: out of his parents died in the plane crash that 644 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: he happened to survive, raised by foster family. Then worked 645 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 1: in New York. Was it sixteen years? Was there during 646 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 1: September eleven? And lost a friend as he's walking to 647 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: the tower to meet the friend. All these things, they're 648 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 1: not unbelievable, but they're sort of I get the sense 649 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 1: that he was sort of dripped feeding little bits and 650 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 1: pieces about him, about himself, creating this persona of the person, 651 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 1: because I see that there were at times when he 652 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 1: was unavailable or he was just sort of reclusive, and 653 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: you're thinking, well, he's been through a lot of trauma 654 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 1: in his life. This is just make excuses. Of course, 655 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 1: we haven't even We've just called him Max, But at 656 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 1: this stage you knew him as Max Taveta. Did you 657 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 1: see any documents with his name on it or anything? 658 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 3: I picked up mail from his letter box that was 659 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 3: addressed to Max Tevita. 660 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: Because when I'm looking through the process of this, I'm thinking, well, 661 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,280 Speaker 1: if I was started seeing someone that I liked, I didn't, 662 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,760 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be checking their names or going through Well, 663 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 1: let's let's have a lot. 664 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 3: It was the last time you asked someone for one 665 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 3: hundred points by D when you met them. 666 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, but after talking. 667 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 2: To you, maybe we show maybe it should be good. 668 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 3: It is interesting about the stories, because I think this 669 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:22,240 Speaker 3: is really important to mention, is that when you recount 670 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:26,719 Speaker 3: a story, you tell the whole story. What's missed in 671 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:31,320 Speaker 3: that is that that story came in probably ten, twelve, 672 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 3: fifteen installments, and it's a little bit each time, and 673 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 3: so it's not until you look backwards that you go, 674 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,280 Speaker 3: that's the whole story, and oh my gosh, that seems 675 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 3: so far fetched. But at the time when it's just 676 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 3: a little piece of information, and then the conversation moves on, 677 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 3: and then two weeks later there's another piece of conversation 678 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 3: that relates back to that story. Now he was clever 679 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 3: because everything matched. But it was not like these stories 680 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 3: came out in one go, because if they had of 681 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,160 Speaker 3: they would have seen so crazy. 682 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: That's a good point, that's yeah. 683 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 3: But when when I'm telling these stories, of course I 684 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 3: tell them in one piece because it's the full story. 685 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 3: And that's how we that's how we express how how 686 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,360 Speaker 3: ridiculous these things are. That he said, but in reality 687 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 3: they came in bits and pieces, and this is the 688 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,360 Speaker 3: death by a thousand cuts. This is the course of 689 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:26,960 Speaker 3: control that occurs, because how did it have been in 690 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 3: one go? 691 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,760 Speaker 2: You'd go, come on, mate. 692 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 3: Really, So I think that's important to mention because it 693 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 3: creeps up on you. 694 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,840 Speaker 1: That's very important to mention, because you're quite right. If 695 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,960 Speaker 1: I put it all there and go, this is what 696 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 1: he's told you, I'd be going, Tracy, look, yeah, but 697 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: if it's have you got family? My parents passed away? 698 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: That could be the first. 699 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 3: That was literally the first conversation of it. And then 700 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:52,960 Speaker 3: you move on to oh, what are we going to 701 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 3: order for dinner? 702 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: I'm sorry your parents have passed away? And then plane 703 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: crashes All planes scare me because of what's happened. Yah. Yeah, quite, 704 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,240 Speaker 1: that's a valid point, and that's you know, and that's 705 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,200 Speaker 1: how they manipulate, that's how they they do it. He 706 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,719 Speaker 1: can't present with all these things up up front, even 707 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,640 Speaker 1: like over in New York. Well he worked in New 708 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,359 Speaker 1: York for sixteen years. Good chance he was there during 709 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,240 Speaker 1: September eleventh. 710 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just had to put the dates together, and yeah, 711 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,880 Speaker 3: it wasn't unusual I mean, that was a big that 712 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 3: was a big story. But you know, there's this thing, 713 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 3: you know, you make the life so big that you 714 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 3: can't not believe it. 715 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 2: Because the other. 716 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,480 Speaker 3: Thing to mention is the level of detail he went 717 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 3: to when he did tell a big story. That story 718 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,279 Speaker 3: in particular, when I asked him, it wasn't like I 719 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 3: was there and the plane hit and I was under 720 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,439 Speaker 3: and I had to run away and that was that's 721 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,080 Speaker 3: the end of the story. He went into detail about 722 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 3: first and last names of people that work with him 723 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,000 Speaker 3: on Wall Street, what floor they worked on, what department 724 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,200 Speaker 3: of what company they worked for, how he knew them, 725 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 3: how old they were, their wives' names and last names. Like, 726 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,080 Speaker 3: there was so much detail that he went into when 727 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,400 Speaker 3: telling that story that you can't just go come on. 728 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 1: But it gives it some credibility, doesn't it if the 729 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,840 Speaker 1: way someone's real relaying a story that. 730 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:12,880 Speaker 2: Was completely made up. 731 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 3: So I don't know, maybe he'd told the story before, 732 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 3: Maybe he'd just made it up on the spot. Maybe 733 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,880 Speaker 3: he was playing a game with himself to see how 734 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,439 Speaker 3: clever he could be, and how like nothing faulted and 735 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:30,880 Speaker 3: everything lined up. Yeah, strange, it's incredible talent. 736 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:32,759 Speaker 2: Well in Wondergred, Well, he. 737 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 1: Had been a fraud ser and living a large portion 738 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 1: of his life ripping that people off. So yeah, he 739 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:42,560 Speaker 1: had to have some skills in that era. Did you do, 740 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,719 Speaker 1: because most people these days jump on social media and 741 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: have a look around. Did you were you curious to 742 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,320 Speaker 1: what his profile was on social media? 743 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 2: One hundred percent. 744 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,120 Speaker 3: I think you should always deep stalk people that you're 745 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:56,040 Speaker 3: about to meet. 746 00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,720 Speaker 1: Call it stalking. We talk against stalking on the shape, 747 00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,840 Speaker 1: but I think everyone, yeah. 748 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:04,080 Speaker 3: I think you should investigate people that you're that you're 749 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 3: looking to meet, that you've never met before. 750 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:06,919 Speaker 2: So yes, of course they did. 751 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 3: He had preempted that and he said, you, I'm not 752 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:11,880 Speaker 3: on social media. 753 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 2: I don't agree with it. 754 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,880 Speaker 3: I don't want anyone to know stuff about my life, 755 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,120 Speaker 3: like I want a private life. You know, there was 756 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,160 Speaker 3: an again it was it was a story that went 757 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 3: with it and an excuse. Now, it's one thing not 758 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,040 Speaker 3: to have a social media profile. At that time, Cath 759 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,920 Speaker 3: didn't have social media profile. It shouldn't even on LinkedIn. 760 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 3: So I do have friends that don't have a social 761 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 3: media profile, and that's fine, you know, that's that's everyone's choice. 762 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:40,359 Speaker 2: What was weird was. 763 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 3: That there was no digital footprint of Max to picture. 764 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:47,000 Speaker 3: So yes, I did search, and again I think I 765 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 3: go into this in the book. It would be after 766 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,840 Speaker 3: we'd met, which was like generally a dinner, probably be 767 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 3: like ten or eleven at night. I'm lying in bed, 768 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,279 Speaker 3: I just done a big day, and I'm searching up 769 00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 3: things that he may have said, just a double check 770 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:03,279 Speaker 3: or to research or what have you, and nothing would 771 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:07,440 Speaker 3: come up. And you know, Max Devita doesn't exist online. 772 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 3: You know, there is no digital footprint of Max Devita 773 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:14,720 Speaker 3: because he actually is a fictitious character. But at eleven 774 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,400 Speaker 3: or eleven thirty at night, when I'm exhausted and nothing 775 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 3: comes up, and I'm scrolling and I do another search, 776 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,600 Speaker 3: and I'm just I end up putting the phone on 777 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,640 Speaker 3: the side bench and going to sleep. And then at 778 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 3: six am the next day that it all starts again. Yeah, 779 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,759 Speaker 3: and you just you get distracted and you're busy, And 780 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,719 Speaker 3: I think this is really interesting thing is that vulnerability 781 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 3: can come in a lot of ways. And you know, 782 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,359 Speaker 3: I was vulnerable at the time because I was going 783 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,320 Speaker 3: through a divorce. But I was also distracted. I was tired, 784 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 3: I was bringing up a child, pretty much on my own. 785 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 3: I was, you know, there was a lot going on, 786 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,759 Speaker 3: and you know, I didn't have hours to just to 787 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,760 Speaker 3: sit there and throw through the internet trying to find 788 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,000 Speaker 3: but yes, I did. You know, I checked out plane 789 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 3: crashes nineteen seventy five, you know, nineteen seventy eight, plane crashes, 790 00:37:58,719 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 3: whatever date. 791 00:37:59,280 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 2: He told me. 792 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 3: Well, and I'd look and I couldn't find anything. And 793 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 3: then you know, of course again it's eleven thirty at night, 794 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 3: and I'm thinking I've just got to go to bed, 795 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,560 Speaker 3: and then he moves on. 796 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,880 Speaker 1: And you're balancing all that up, and I understand all 797 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 1: the chaos of just getting through life with all the 798 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,160 Speaker 1: things that you got going. But okay, you're not getting 799 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:21,480 Speaker 1: the footprint on social media or digital. But there's a 800 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,640 Speaker 1: real person. There's a person telling you he does exist. 801 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 1: Because there he's sharing my bed with me. I know 802 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,680 Speaker 1: he's there. It's not or it doesn't appear to be fictional. 803 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 1: How did the relationship progress? When did it become that 804 00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:38,919 Speaker 1: you call yourself a couple or you're exclusive to each other? 805 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,880 Speaker 1: And how did that evolve? 806 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,400 Speaker 2: I don't know, because I don't know. In your forties, 807 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 2: like you, my boyfriend, what. 808 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,720 Speaker 1: Do you call someone yet partners. 809 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:51,840 Speaker 2: I don't know. 810 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 1: He isn't asking me. You're going around with me? 811 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, you go out with men. 812 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 3: I mean, from my perspective, it was pretty much from 813 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,400 Speaker 3: the moment I met him, Know, I wasn't seeing anyone else. 814 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,719 Speaker 3: I was spending all my spare time with him that 815 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,560 Speaker 3: I could. I was very much invested in the in 816 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:11,080 Speaker 3: the relationship. From his point of view, I don't know, 817 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,479 Speaker 3: but yeah, I mean it sort of progressed over time. 818 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:22,400 Speaker 3: It was a very intimate, emotionally intimate relationship. Physical intimacy 819 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,640 Speaker 3: was sort of like that took a lot longer. He 820 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 3: was kind of a bit weird in that way. 821 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,680 Speaker 1: So, yeah, I saw in the book you questioned him 822 00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 1: about that and he came up with it's a slow 823 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 1: slow burn. 824 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,200 Speaker 3: I like, yeah, this way, Yeah, what starts with what 825 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 3: do you say? What starts through the bang ends in 826 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:42,280 Speaker 3: a fizzle. I was like, well, that's a big, pretty 827 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:51,200 Speaker 3: big fizzle in the end. But it was a big fizzle. Yeah, look, 828 00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:55,040 Speaker 3: you know that was just that was just him. But 829 00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:00,920 Speaker 3: I guess the relationship felt incredibly safe because you know, 830 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 3: the conversations we had were at such a deep level. 831 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:09,839 Speaker 3: He sort of presented this level of emotional intelligence and 832 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,440 Speaker 3: empathy and compassion. And you know, remember he was a 833 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,719 Speaker 3: phenomenal listener, so he just had to listen to the 834 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,680 Speaker 3: things I was saying and present those back to me. 835 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,440 Speaker 3: And that felt very intimate and close and you know, 836 00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:24,359 Speaker 3: very secure, very safe. 837 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 1: And it was like you were both exposing yourself emotionally 838 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,120 Speaker 1: exposing yourself, and you felt secure and secure in that. 839 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,040 Speaker 1: And it got to the point where you introduced your 840 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:34,719 Speaker 1: daughter to him. 841 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:38,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, after quite a while, I introduced her because I 842 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,120 Speaker 3: was on the phone to him a lot, and she'd 843 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:42,240 Speaker 3: often overhear. 844 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 2: A conversation how old she was. 845 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,399 Speaker 3: She would have been five and a half six six, 846 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:53,360 Speaker 3: something like this, and she just knew as Max on 847 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,880 Speaker 3: the phone, and you know, he was very engaging. So 848 00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:00,239 Speaker 3: he called her, you know, Rascal and you know, hey, 849 00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:03,439 Speaker 3: what's the rascal up to? And you know, he every 850 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,080 Speaker 3: time he'd come and see me or meet with me, 851 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,640 Speaker 3: he'd bring a little packet of like, you know, chocolate 852 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:13,040 Speaker 3: freckles to leave for her, and you know, just really 853 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,759 Speaker 3: what I thought were thoughtful things at the time. And 854 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 3: so they would have this conversation on you know, on 855 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,919 Speaker 3: speaker quite a lot but it did take a long 856 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,400 Speaker 3: time for me to introduce him to her because I 857 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,279 Speaker 3: would just see him when I you know, when I 858 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 3: had spare time when she was with her dad. 859 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,799 Speaker 2: So you know, they go along really well. 860 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,880 Speaker 3: I mean, he he just sort of matched her energy. 861 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:40,719 Speaker 3: He was very engaging. He's very knock about, kind of 862 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,960 Speaker 3: jovial guys. So you know, there were a lot of 863 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 3: laughs and a lot of banter again, which you know 864 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:46,880 Speaker 3: that suited her. 865 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,240 Speaker 1: Very good way to your heart, isn't it if you've 866 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,320 Speaker 1: got a child and a child enjoys spending time with Max. 867 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,520 Speaker 3: It's if someone engages with your child and shows interest 868 00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,759 Speaker 3: and it's easy, then that's a tick. We didn't really 869 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,240 Speaker 3: spend weekends together or anything like that. It was always, 870 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:08,600 Speaker 3: you know, holidays is when they spent the most time together, 871 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,440 Speaker 3: which sort of happened, you know, more towards the end 872 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,839 Speaker 3: of the relationship. My mom came on holidays with us. 873 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,120 Speaker 3: He built a relationship with my mom with my family, 874 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,080 Speaker 3: you know, so there was a bit of closeness there 875 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:20,480 Speaker 3: as well. 876 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,320 Speaker 1: A couple of things where he made excuses last moment 877 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 1: excuses not to meet with your friends or commit to 878 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,120 Speaker 1: a function and not turn up to a function. You 879 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,720 Speaker 1: look back now and again with all that piece together, 880 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,480 Speaker 1: But at the time, yeah, he was an investment banker 881 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,000 Speaker 1: or the work he was doing, and he was busy 882 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,080 Speaker 1: all the time, and these things happened. So talk us 883 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: through that. Where you'd line up to meet your friend. 884 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 1: I love your friend. What's her name, Caath? She We've 885 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:52,560 Speaker 1: got to get her in the police. She spotted him, amlawa. 886 00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,600 Speaker 3: She did, she did her bidy sensors were going off 887 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,759 Speaker 3: from the beginning, and you know, cars incredible. I've known 888 00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,680 Speaker 3: her for nearly twenty years. And you know, the way 889 00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:05,239 Speaker 3: that Greg Barrup described it in the podcast was it's 890 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,279 Speaker 3: like being in an illusionist show. So when you're sitting 891 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,239 Speaker 3: in the front row and the illusionist is doing all 892 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,920 Speaker 3: the tricks, you don't see any of them because you're 893 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,640 Speaker 3: just you're in the front row. But if you're standing 894 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,560 Speaker 3: side of stage and you're watching these tricks happen, you 895 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:23,240 Speaker 3: can see everything that's going on. And Kath was standing 896 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,120 Speaker 3: side of stage. 897 00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:27,239 Speaker 1: Okay, that's a very good way of describing it. And 898 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:32,319 Speaker 1: I can understand you would have been seeing Max and 899 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,239 Speaker 1: reporting back to kathgo and this happened that happened, and 900 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,480 Speaker 1: that's strange. That's strange. So yeah, the death of the 901 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,279 Speaker 1: parents in the plane crash, and that he happened to 902 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,239 Speaker 1: survive and woke up unconscious, and all the tragedies and 903 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,800 Speaker 1: all that. She's getting that all in one lump, looking 904 00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:52,520 Speaker 1: further away. But tell us about what because I like 905 00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,880 Speaker 1: her attitude, like she was a good friend, like really 906 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,879 Speaker 1: trying to just take a step back. 907 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:03,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, And Kath is a really curious person, and she 908 00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:08,200 Speaker 3: always asks a lot of questions. So where some friends 909 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,320 Speaker 3: or you know, some relationships, you're like, oh, how's Max, 910 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,600 Speaker 3: and you go, yeah, good, we're going you know, we're 911 00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,239 Speaker 3: going for dinner, or we're going to buy her next 912 00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:18,520 Speaker 3: weekend or whatever. That would be the end of the conversation, 913 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,840 Speaker 3: whereas Kath follows up with questions and constantly curious about 914 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,120 Speaker 3: what's going on. And of course her senses were going 915 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,520 Speaker 3: off as well, so she was trying to get information 916 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,759 Speaker 3: and really trying to understand, and she was listening to 917 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,760 Speaker 3: all of this stuff, and you know, to the point 918 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:39,200 Speaker 3: where she took me for breakfast one morning. And I 919 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,000 Speaker 3: write about this in the book, and Kath, like I said, 920 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 3: I've known her for the best part of twenty years. 921 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:48,440 Speaker 3: I've never seen this woman cry, not once. And she's 922 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 3: sitting across the breakfast table from me, and she's holding 923 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,239 Speaker 3: my hand, and I'm thinking, oh my goodness, she's going 924 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,200 Speaker 3: to tell me she's got cancer or something bad has happened. 925 00:44:58,880 --> 00:44:59,960 Speaker 2: And I said, what's wrong? 926 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,480 Speaker 3: And she said, I don't know how to say this 927 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,759 Speaker 3: to you, trace, but I just don't think Max is 928 00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:08,759 Speaker 3: who he says he is. I'm really worried about you 929 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,759 Speaker 3: investing your superannuation with him now. She is the only 930 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,120 Speaker 3: person I told I was doing that. Probably she was 931 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:16,359 Speaker 3: the only one that asked. But also too, we don't 932 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:18,440 Speaker 3: talk about our money. We don't talk about who we're 933 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,799 Speaker 3: investing with. We don't talk about how much we earn. 934 00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:23,040 Speaker 3: You know, it is a taboo subject in a lot 935 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,600 Speaker 3: of in a lot of ways, it's private. And she 936 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,360 Speaker 3: was asking those questions and getting that information, and she 937 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:33,040 Speaker 3: was so worried because in the background, she was writing 938 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:37,440 Speaker 3: to MIT and these you know, these companies that he 939 00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 3: said he'd worked for in America, and she was trying 940 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,759 Speaker 3: to get employee records and trying to see whether he 941 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:46,840 Speaker 3: was actually a student at that university. And she was 942 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,120 Speaker 3: trying to do her own background. This is where she 943 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,160 Speaker 3: would be great and at place she was building a 944 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,400 Speaker 3: dossier of her own. But yet at this point she 945 00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:58,239 Speaker 3: didn't have anything. She just knew it wasn't quite adding up, 946 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,239 Speaker 3: just didn't feel right, didn't all right. And she's she 947 00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,759 Speaker 3: says to me, you know, I'm just really worried. And I, 948 00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,200 Speaker 3: you know, and I and I said to her, and 949 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:09,439 Speaker 3: this is the other thing. 950 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,440 Speaker 2: You know. She hadn't met him. And I said to her, Kat, 951 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,040 Speaker 2: but you haven't met him. You don't know. 952 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,560 Speaker 3: You don't know him like I do. You don't you 953 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,960 Speaker 3: haven't heard the conversations we've had. You he's got my back, 954 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,919 Speaker 3: he's got my best interests at heart. You'll see, You'll 955 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:25,080 Speaker 3: see when you meet him. 956 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 1: You're in your love bubble too. 957 00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,279 Speaker 3: Of course I have my Rose could classes on, and 958 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,120 Speaker 3: I wanted her to get to know him the way 959 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,120 Speaker 3: that the way that I did. He was very socially awkward, 960 00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:39,160 Speaker 3: so getting him to meet friends, because he had reniqued 961 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:43,400 Speaker 3: on so many different occasions, was tricky. And I didn't 962 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,960 Speaker 3: have a lot of availability either. So when I was 963 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:50,880 Speaker 3: available or had a schedule, we wanted to spend time together. 964 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,319 Speaker 2: So that was really that was a difficult thing. 965 00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,600 Speaker 3: But anyway, we finally got a time to have dinner 966 00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:00,200 Speaker 3: and had dinner with her and her husband, and you know, 967 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:04,520 Speaker 3: she just perpet him with questions, and you know, her 968 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,080 Speaker 3: husband walked away. Go no, you know, if you weren't 969 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,480 Speaker 3: so suspect on him, I think he was a really 970 00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:12,719 Speaker 3: great guy. And of course she was building this this 971 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,239 Speaker 3: folder of information about him so that she could have 972 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:18,520 Speaker 3: handed it to me so that without any doubt I 973 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,680 Speaker 3: would believe what she was saying, because she knew that 974 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,359 Speaker 3: I was so in love with him, and she didn't 975 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:24,879 Speaker 3: want to ruin our friendship either. 976 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,560 Speaker 2: This is a twenty year friendship. This is not something 977 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:27,719 Speaker 2: down the toilet. 978 00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:30,839 Speaker 1: If she pushed too hard, that would almost be well, 979 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,440 Speaker 1: you're going to make a choice between him and me, 980 00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:33,800 Speaker 1: And yeah, I would. 981 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,839 Speaker 3: Have defended him, or I would have tipped him off, 982 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,120 Speaker 3: you know. And so she she knew she had to 983 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:42,640 Speaker 3: play it really carefully. But I'm so you know, I'm 984 00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,840 Speaker 3: so grateful for you know, the questions she asked me 985 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,000 Speaker 3: and the fact she had the guts to take me 986 00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,880 Speaker 3: for breakfast and say, I'm really worried because a lot 987 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,040 Speaker 3: of people wouldn't do that. 988 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,200 Speaker 2: They'd just sort of wait. 989 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,440 Speaker 1: And see conversation. 990 00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:57,040 Speaker 3: Really, and that's why she was crying like this is 991 00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,200 Speaker 3: this is the most stoic woman you've ever met, and 992 00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:02,640 Speaker 3: she's crying so obviously meant something to her, and that 993 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,600 Speaker 3: would have been a really, really hard time for her, 994 00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:08,520 Speaker 3: and she was determined to protect me, and it was 995 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:10,640 Speaker 3: just I guess, I don't know if luck is the 996 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,719 Speaker 3: right word, but he was arrested before she, you know, 997 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,040 Speaker 3: had a chance to give me that. 998 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:16,200 Speaker 1: Forwarder get across. 999 00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:17,880 Speaker 2: But she is also the one that sent me the 1000 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:18,360 Speaker 2: video of. 1001 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:22,200 Speaker 1: Okay, we'll talk about the arrest. But how long had 1002 00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:25,640 Speaker 1: you been seeing Max before she started to become sus. 1003 00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,240 Speaker 3: I don't know when she first started to become sus, 1004 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,120 Speaker 3: but when she took me for breakfast that was I 1005 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 3: think it was early in twenty seventeen, So this stage, 1006 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:39,880 Speaker 3: it's nearly a year after we've been together, and it 1007 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,920 Speaker 3: was when the conversations around the money started heating up. 1008 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,360 Speaker 3: You know, the self managed super fun happened in early 1009 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:49,640 Speaker 3: two thousand and fifty seventeen, so I think that was 1010 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,480 Speaker 3: what prompted her to have that chat with me at 1011 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,520 Speaker 3: that time. But I suspect that she was sus on 1012 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,239 Speaker 3: him for a very long time, just because of the 1013 00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,360 Speaker 3: stories I was recounting to her his name. You know, 1014 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,240 Speaker 3: she said, that's a you know, that's a that's. 1015 00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,680 Speaker 1: I like an intuition there that Tavita is an island 1016 00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:13,319 Speaker 1: in the Pacific tongue name. Yeah, he's white. 1017 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:17,759 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that was that was us for her. You know, 1018 00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:21,320 Speaker 3: I didn't I didn't know that cultural relevance or that reference, 1019 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:25,000 Speaker 3: so I couldn't relate to that. Again, I probably did 1020 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,799 Speaker 3: a quick search one night late on the Internet about it. 1021 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:32,279 Speaker 3: But I would say she was probably suspect fairly early on. 1022 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:33,160 Speaker 2: But it did take. 1023 00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,560 Speaker 1: Her and her concern as a friend in that early 1024 00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:39,279 Speaker 1: stage you have your heart broken, not then when it 1025 00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,279 Speaker 1: ramped up the hold that now you're investing your finances, 1026 00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,680 Speaker 1: it's going to be more than your heart and your finances. 1027 00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,280 Speaker 2: That's what she was most worried about. 1028 00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:51,920 Speaker 1: Okay, just about the finances that he used to like 1029 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:57,799 Speaker 1: five cars. Well, tell us it's all up, like what 1030 00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,480 Speaker 1: your impression you You thought, okay, he's got a bit 1031 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,400 Speaker 1: of money, and then he'd flash it, but then he'd pull. 1032 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:05,080 Speaker 3: It back and yeah, and again this is where the 1033 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,800 Speaker 3: things come slowly, the death by thousand. So the cars 1034 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,480 Speaker 3: appeared over time. It wasn't like, hey, I've got five cars, 1035 00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:13,359 Speaker 3: because I go, you're a jerk. 1036 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,400 Speaker 2: Like what why? 1037 00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,239 Speaker 3: And I actually said that to him because by the 1038 00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:20,200 Speaker 3: time I'd seen the fourth car that just sort of 1039 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:24,560 Speaker 3: appeared one day, I was like, what single forty year 1040 00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:28,759 Speaker 3: old guy who lives in BONDI needs five cars? Like, 1041 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:33,759 Speaker 3: you're just a jerk, Like that's so excessive. And the 1042 00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:36,719 Speaker 3: next conversation was, you know what, Tries, I've been thinking 1043 00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,080 Speaker 3: about what you said about the cars, and you're right, 1044 00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:41,360 Speaker 3: I don't need them. I'm going to get rid of 1045 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,719 Speaker 3: a couple of them. And then suddenly they all started disappearing. 1046 00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:48,760 Speaker 1: So he was just a chameleon that kept changing for whatever. 1047 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure if I had been impressed by. 1048 00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,640 Speaker 1: That, you would have had ten cars. 1049 00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:54,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, probably would have given me a couple I don't 1050 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,000 Speaker 3: know and put them in someone else's name. But you know, 1051 00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:00,440 Speaker 3: they sort of started disappearing, and you know, there were 1052 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:04,880 Speaker 3: signs of wealth, but there are also signs of not wealth. 1053 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,600 Speaker 3: And when I questioned those things, you know, he had 1054 00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,360 Speaker 3: an answer for everything. Right, So he lived in a 1055 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:13,920 Speaker 3: one bedroom apartment in Bondou was a beautiful apartment, but 1056 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:14,480 Speaker 3: it was small. 1057 00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:17,200 Speaker 2: It was it was fairly minimals. 1058 00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:22,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, minimalist's say, and yeah he so it asked him 1059 00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,840 Speaker 3: about things and he'd say, Trace, I've lived that life. 1060 00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:27,960 Speaker 3: This is the apartment I had in New York. And 1061 00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:32,160 Speaker 3: of course he's got the photos to show me, you know, 1062 00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,399 Speaker 3: and he tells the stories and overtime told stories about 1063 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,600 Speaker 3: this apartment and he lived in that building and where 1064 00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,120 Speaker 3: it was and the whole thing. And he said, I've 1065 00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:43,160 Speaker 3: lived that life, and I came back to Australia to 1066 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,160 Speaker 3: live a more simple life. He goes, all I want 1067 00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,600 Speaker 3: to do is go surfing, do my job and spend 1068 00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,200 Speaker 3: my time with great people. 1069 00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:53,520 Speaker 1: Now, when we apply the drip feed coefficient into that, 1070 00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:57,080 Speaker 1: it makes sense, like when you're telling it, Yeah, but 1071 00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:00,879 Speaker 1: you could see someone he liked these surfing Okay, I've 1072 00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,319 Speaker 1: just decided to change directions in life. So yeah, it's 1073 00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,560 Speaker 1: you can understand that if you're getting fed in the 1074 00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,200 Speaker 1: moment about added up. 1075 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:15,239 Speaker 3: It all added up and coupled with his persona and 1076 00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:19,640 Speaker 3: his desire to have a simple life and just do 1077 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:23,120 Speaker 3: the things he loved, I could relate to that. You know, 1078 00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,120 Speaker 3: he's like, what I want to. 1079 00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:26,440 Speaker 2: Be doing now? 1080 00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:30,320 Speaker 1: How he got you to invest in what he was doing? Again, 1081 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,920 Speaker 1: that was done incrementally. Who was done in small small 1082 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,200 Speaker 1: parts talk us through that. 1083 00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:40,560 Speaker 3: I mean probably as backstory. There were hundreds and hundreds 1084 00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,759 Speaker 3: of conversations about finances and investing and money in his 1085 00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,400 Speaker 3: line of work and his career and what he was 1086 00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,720 Speaker 3: doing at the family office for some of the richest 1087 00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:54,000 Speaker 3: families in Australia, and reports and the Bloomberg monitors on, 1088 00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:58,040 Speaker 3: you know, in his apartment and you know the office 1089 00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,520 Speaker 3: and the pictures from the office, and you. 1090 00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,239 Speaker 1: Know, the whole set up, the whole thing. 1091 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:06,040 Speaker 3: It was like a movie, right, And this started from 1092 00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:09,239 Speaker 3: the day that we met, the day that we first connected. 1093 00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:13,480 Speaker 3: This story was built over time, over conversations, over text messages, 1094 00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:17,880 Speaker 3: over phone calls, over reports and documents, and you know, 1095 00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:22,000 Speaker 3: he created this whole movie so that I believed that 1096 00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:23,080 Speaker 3: he was who he said he was. 1097 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,160 Speaker 1: Even phone calls. 1098 00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, there were phone calls with people that I overheard 1099 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,719 Speaker 3: and I could hear the person on the other end 1100 00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:32,239 Speaker 3: about a trade that he needed to put through. So 1101 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,480 Speaker 3: it was someone in his back office that was executing 1102 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:37,520 Speaker 3: the trades for him, Claudia, I need to do this. 1103 00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,759 Speaker 3: What was the price of gold it close yesterday? What 1104 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:41,680 Speaker 3: is it today? What's it likely to be? Have you 1105 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:44,480 Speaker 3: modeled that? I need to put fifteen on that? And 1106 00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:46,680 Speaker 3: do you know I don't know who these people. I 1107 00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:49,840 Speaker 3: still don't know who these people are. I don't believe 1108 00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:54,040 Speaker 3: they were real trades. But this, you know, I witnessed 1109 00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,279 Speaker 3: all of this over a long period of time. So 1110 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:59,799 Speaker 3: by the time there was a conversation about my superannuation 1111 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,920 Speaker 3: and what I was doing with my super, what fund 1112 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,680 Speaker 3: I was investing with, how much I was paying in fees, 1113 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,080 Speaker 3: you know, and then his point of view about that, 1114 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:14,000 Speaker 3: everything kind of confirmed that he was a person who 1115 00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:17,560 Speaker 3: knew what he was talking about, had my best interests 1116 00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:20,719 Speaker 3: at heart, had my back, wanted me to be financially independent, 1117 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:24,799 Speaker 3: and said to me, let me help you. And if 1118 00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:26,640 Speaker 3: he had a knocked on my door two weeks after 1119 00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:30,640 Speaker 3: we met and said, hand over your superannuation, your life savings, 1120 00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,600 Speaker 3: everything you've got, I'm going to invest it for you, 1121 00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,600 Speaker 3: I said, bugger off, who are you like? I've met 1122 00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:39,600 Speaker 3: you two weeks ago. But he created this long con 1123 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,520 Speaker 3: of information and this presentation of who he was to 1124 00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:47,279 Speaker 3: have me believe that he was the perfect person to 1125 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,680 Speaker 3: invest my life savings. So when he asked me and said, 1126 00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:52,600 Speaker 3: you know, we should do a self managed super fun 1127 00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,560 Speaker 3: for you because you'd get so much more return, you'd 1128 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:59,279 Speaker 3: be financially independent, quicker you could, you know all of 1129 00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,400 Speaker 3: this stuff, and of course it was peppered with lots 1130 00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:06,120 Speaker 3: of compliments around You're one of the hardest working people 1131 00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:08,680 Speaker 3: I've ever met. You work so hard, trace like you 1132 00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:12,719 Speaker 3: deserve this, and you know, really building me up. And 1133 00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,560 Speaker 3: so I thought it was the right thing to do, 1134 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:18,960 Speaker 3: so we set up a self managed super fun. He 1135 00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,360 Speaker 3: groomed me throughout that whole process, worked with a solicitor, 1136 00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:26,319 Speaker 3: presented all the documents to me, explained everything. The self 1137 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,719 Speaker 3: managed super fund was actually set up, legitimately had a constitution, 1138 00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:34,560 Speaker 3: everything was done correctly removed. I had to go and 1139 00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:38,520 Speaker 3: close down my superannuation fund and transfer that money into 1140 00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:40,680 Speaker 3: a business banking account that I'd set up. I needed 1141 00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:45,200 Speaker 3: all the documentation for the funds to allow that, and 1142 00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:50,120 Speaker 3: then what he got me to do was pull a 1143 00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:55,440 Speaker 3: check out of that business account. And I believed I 1144 00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:58,200 Speaker 3: had a trading account set up at belt pot of Securities. 1145 00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:03,360 Speaker 3: I filled in the paperwork it submitted, and he said, 1146 00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,399 Speaker 3: write a check out to Bell Pot of Securities. That's 1147 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,320 Speaker 3: what I did, thinking it would go into my account, 1148 00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,920 Speaker 3: but I didn't put my name on that check Bell 1149 00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:13,440 Speaker 3: Pot of Securities, Tracy Hall Investments, or whatever the account was, 1150 00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,320 Speaker 3: and so it went into a washing account of his. 1151 00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,600 Speaker 2: At Bell Pot of Securities, right, And that's how it happened. 1152 00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,800 Speaker 1: And the way you describe it, the new use word grooming, 1153 00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,719 Speaker 1: and I think that's an apt way of describing it. 1154 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:29,279 Speaker 1: We usually do that with pedophiles with children, but this 1155 00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:33,000 Speaker 1: is a different crime, but the same process it is grooming, 1156 00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:36,000 Speaker 1: and the effort that has to go to leave paperwork 1157 00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,240 Speaker 1: all around the desk and you compute the screen open, 1158 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:43,360 Speaker 1: then talking business, talking shop on the phone. And the 1159 00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:45,600 Speaker 1: sense that I got, the way he got you in there, 1160 00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:47,759 Speaker 1: it was almost like I'm doing you a favor. I'm 1161 00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,839 Speaker 1: not desperate for it. So it wasn't him saying, hey 1162 00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:51,720 Speaker 1: I need I've just got a short fall of funds. 1163 00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,239 Speaker 1: I need this. It was look, if you want, I 1164 00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,600 Speaker 1: can't help you. And the first one was like incremental too, 1165 00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,880 Speaker 1: it was ten thousand, yes, So that gives you the 1166 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,560 Speaker 1: confidence and then surprise, surprise at ten thousand dollars double 1167 00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,279 Speaker 1: or whatever, and you come back and think maybe he 1168 00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:09,840 Speaker 1: does or not. Maybe I always knew he did, he 1169 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,640 Speaker 1: knew his job. So then it built up and I've 1170 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:16,480 Speaker 1: just got the you'd remember it better than I would, 1171 00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,680 Speaker 1: I would imagine, but the amount of money, So just 1172 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,800 Speaker 1: going through it and comment if you wish. But so 1173 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:26,600 Speaker 1: it was fourth of October twenty sixteen was ten thousand dollars. Ye, 1174 00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:29,480 Speaker 1: and then you've got to return that's right for that 1175 00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:34,000 Speaker 1: And then tenth of February twenty seventeen, one hundred and. 1176 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,240 Speaker 2: Eighty seven thousand, that was my superannuation. 1177 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,480 Speaker 1: Talk to me about that. How did he just say, okay, 1178 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,480 Speaker 1: let's move it all across. 1179 00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,520 Speaker 3: So that was the self managed super fund. So that 1180 00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:49,560 Speaker 3: was my twenty two year career worth of superannuation. And 1181 00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:53,480 Speaker 3: that was completely transferred across to a self managed super fund, 1182 00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:57,240 Speaker 3: which I then withdrew in a check for a trading account. 1183 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:00,120 Speaker 3: But that trading account was not in my name. He 1184 00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:01,960 Speaker 3: went into an account of his right. 1185 00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:07,240 Speaker 1: And then thurd of April eighty thousand, two thousand and seventeen, Yeah, 1186 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,760 Speaker 1: twelfth of June two thousand and seventeen forty thousand. 1187 00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:11,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1188 00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:14,080 Speaker 3: So they were some shares and some savings that I 1189 00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:19,000 Speaker 3: had accumulated, mostly shares that I'd earned through working in tech. 1190 00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:23,520 Speaker 3: And he again, you know, throughout the countless conversations we 1191 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:27,560 Speaker 3: had about you know, Trump's antics and how that was 1192 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:31,160 Speaker 3: impacting the US markets and what was going to happen, 1193 00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,240 Speaker 3: and it was at an all time high. So you should 1194 00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:36,360 Speaker 3: cash those in and then we'll invest them and we'll diversify. 1195 00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:40,040 Speaker 3: And you know, he gave me the whole strategy and 1196 00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,560 Speaker 3: so encouraged me to do that. So that's what I did, 1197 00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:45,040 Speaker 3: and then transferred that to the self managed super fund. 1198 00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,600 Speaker 1: And this is eighteen months into your. 1199 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:48,960 Speaker 2: Relationship, almost eighteen months. 1200 00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:53,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, and yeah, you trust him. He's met your family, holidays, 1201 00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:57,200 Speaker 1: you're staying at each other's place. There was intimacy, their 1202 00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:02,240 Speaker 1: physical intimacy, everything that a relationship would be defined as 1203 00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:05,840 Speaker 1: you're in this relationship, talk about buying a house, moving 1204 00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,600 Speaker 1: to Byron Bay, going to look at the houses. 1205 00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:12,320 Speaker 2: It's just multiple houses. 1206 00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,920 Speaker 1: Bullshitting with the real estate agents pointing out houses. I 1207 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,360 Speaker 1: used to live this or I used to own that house, 1208 00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:18,840 Speaker 1: and then why don't we buy this? 1209 00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:22,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, we got contracts on houses, we saw floor plans, 1210 00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,600 Speaker 3: I mean, the level of dep like it was just 1211 00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:27,880 Speaker 3: a game for him, you know, he didn't have a job, 1212 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,280 Speaker 3: like I was busy working sixteen hour days trying to 1213 00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:32,440 Speaker 3: earn a living, and he was doing all this on 1214 00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:34,040 Speaker 3: the side, just as a bit of a game. So 1215 00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:37,680 Speaker 3: we'd go to Byron and travel throughout the Byron hinterland 1216 00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:40,160 Speaker 3: and look at house after house. I took my mom, 1217 00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,120 Speaker 3: I took my daughter with us, you know, and you 1218 00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:45,320 Speaker 3: imagine yourself, you know, in a couple of years moving 1219 00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:49,040 Speaker 3: up there and having that life. And we spoke about 1220 00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:51,080 Speaker 3: it at length, you know, in those wee hours of 1221 00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,160 Speaker 3: the morning chats that you have about what you want 1222 00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:55,680 Speaker 3: your future to look like. And he just presented that 1223 00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:56,120 Speaker 3: back to me. 1224 00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,640 Speaker 1: I see here. It's just evil, isn't it. It's hard 1225 01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:04,120 Speaker 1: to comprehend because I know those type of conversations where 1226 01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:06,960 Speaker 1: you're sitting down planning your future. The excitement would have 1227 01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,000 Speaker 1: been coming out of the pause of your skin about 1228 01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:11,200 Speaker 1: the hit I can see the life, We've got the 1229 01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:15,680 Speaker 1: future together, and the whole time it was it was 1230 01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:16,760 Speaker 1: I think. 1231 01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:20,439 Speaker 3: The thing too, that I find so interesting is how 1232 01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:24,720 Speaker 3: you can fake loving someone for that long, like you 1233 01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:27,320 Speaker 3: know when someone likes you or not right, like you 1234 01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:29,120 Speaker 3: know that, or he's just not that into. 1235 01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,480 Speaker 2: You, you know, and that little look. 1236 01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:37,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, or just the dismissiveness of respect or whatever it 1237 01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:41,560 Speaker 3: might be. Like he was so there and it was 1238 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,240 Speaker 3: it was so real, and yet it wasn't. And I 1239 01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:49,400 Speaker 3: just think, gosh, the level of investment that he went 1240 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:54,400 Speaker 3: to to pretend to love at that intimate level. Because 1241 01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:56,479 Speaker 3: this wasn't just a business deal. This was a life 1242 01:00:56,560 --> 01:01:02,479 Speaker 3: we were describing and building and and you planning, but. 1243 01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,320 Speaker 2: It was all it was all just fake. 1244 01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:08,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is hard to comprehend, I think to get 1245 01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:11,160 Speaker 1: the sense of and I've just pulled a quote out 1246 01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,120 Speaker 1: of your book, but to get a sense of your 1247 01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:16,600 Speaker 1: life as of before it all blew up on the 1248 01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,880 Speaker 1: eleventh of July two thousand and seven, and you're in 1249 01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:21,640 Speaker 1: a good place. And this is how you described your 1250 01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:25,480 Speaker 1: life when you woke up feeling good. I woke up 1251 01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:29,360 Speaker 1: feeling fulfilled in every life area family tick, career, tick, 1252 01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:34,400 Speaker 1: personal growth tick, health, tick, relationship double tick. Could this 1253 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:37,920 Speaker 1: be the elusive contentment I've heard so many people speak of. 1254 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:40,520 Speaker 1: So that was your mindset? 1255 01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:47,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was and I'd been through and the first 1256 01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:48,520 Speaker 3: part of the book talks about this. 1257 01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:51,640 Speaker 2: I'd been through a lot, you know. My dad died 1258 01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:52,320 Speaker 2: really young. 1259 01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:54,960 Speaker 3: You know, I'd been through a divorce, my mum got 1260 01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,880 Speaker 3: breast cancer, I had a miscarriage. There was a lot 1261 01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:01,600 Speaker 3: that happened, and I had coped with a lot, and 1262 01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:07,400 Speaker 3: so you know, the traumatic kind of the separation that divorce. 1263 01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:09,640 Speaker 3: I'd gotten to a place, you know, two and a 1264 01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:12,000 Speaker 3: half years after that point where I felt like I'd 1265 01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:15,280 Speaker 3: met someone who you know, I felt like I was 1266 01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,920 Speaker 3: in a relationship like what my parents had, you know, 1267 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:22,520 Speaker 3: which is what I always aspired to. And yeah, I 1268 01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:25,840 Speaker 3: felt like, oh my god, finally things are coming together. 1269 01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,440 Speaker 1: I see that, and I pulled it out as a 1270 01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,040 Speaker 1: quote because it just it's so sad. We've all been 1271 01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:34,320 Speaker 1: in that stage of life where you think maybe this 1272 01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:38,160 Speaker 1: life is for me, this is it's all, everything's lined up, 1273 01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:44,440 Speaker 1: and then it went tragically south. Yeah, we did. You 1274 01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:47,880 Speaker 1: couldn't get in contact with him over a twenty four 1275 01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:50,240 Speaker 1: hour period, or there was a text working late and 1276 01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:52,320 Speaker 1: you text him but there was no response. But do 1277 01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:53,280 Speaker 1: you want to take it from there? 1278 01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:55,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, We've been to Byron for the weekend, I was 1279 01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:58,320 Speaker 3: up there presenting at a marketing conference and came back. 1280 01:02:58,320 --> 01:02:59,520 Speaker 2: He was up there supporting me. 1281 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:03,040 Speaker 3: It was he drove back after I flew back, and 1282 01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:05,640 Speaker 3: I missed a call from him one morning that I 1283 01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:07,840 Speaker 3: was busy like at school, holidays, were getting kids off 1284 01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:10,480 Speaker 3: to camps and the whole thing, getting into the office, 1285 01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:12,400 Speaker 3: and I spent the rest of the day trying to 1286 01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:15,040 Speaker 3: get back in touch with him and couldn't, and that 1287 01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,360 Speaker 3: was very unusual because he was always very responsive. We 1288 01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,200 Speaker 3: spoke a losh and by that night I was getting 1289 01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,600 Speaker 3: pretty worried, and I spent a lot of that night 1290 01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,840 Speaker 3: deep in the Internet trying to find the phone number 1291 01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,240 Speaker 3: of his brother in law, who I'd met his sister. 1292 01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:30,600 Speaker 2: He's surfing Buddies, people. 1293 01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:33,400 Speaker 3: That he grew up with, and I knew their company names, 1294 01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:36,440 Speaker 3: so you know, I reached out to them. So I 1295 01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:39,800 Speaker 3: was doing a lot of outreach overnight and barely slept 1296 01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:42,560 Speaker 3: and woke up super early the next morning because I 1297 01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:45,560 Speaker 3: still hadn't heard called Bondo police and asked them to 1298 01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:48,000 Speaker 3: do a wellness check on him because I just had 1299 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,000 Speaker 3: a feeling that something was wrong. I thought he'd been 1300 01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:51,160 Speaker 3: in an accident. 1301 01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:51,560 Speaker 2: And. 1302 01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:56,320 Speaker 3: While that was happening. Kath called me and she said, 1303 01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:57,760 Speaker 3: how are you? And I said, I'm really worried. I 1304 01:03:57,760 --> 01:04:00,680 Speaker 3: haven't slept a wink. Something's happened to Max. She said, 1305 01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:03,120 Speaker 3: I'm going to send you a link. I said, oh 1306 01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:05,440 Speaker 3: my god, he's died. What's happened. There's been an accident. 1307 01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,360 Speaker 3: He's surfing as there's been a shark attack. She said, no, no, no, 1308 01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:13,200 Speaker 3: click on the link and call me back. And I 1309 01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:15,600 Speaker 3: clicked on the link and it was the crime Stoppers 1310 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,400 Speaker 3: video of him being arrested outside of his apartment in Bondai, 1311 01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:20,840 Speaker 3: and his face was all blowed out, but of course 1312 01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:24,120 Speaker 3: I knew it was him, and so I called Bondai 1313 01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:25,720 Speaker 3: police back and said, you don't need to do a 1314 01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:28,920 Speaker 3: wellness check on him. He's fine, he's been arrested, and 1315 01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:33,000 Speaker 3: they said, yes, we know that, and all the information 1316 01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:34,840 Speaker 3: you gave us about the man that lives at that 1317 01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:38,680 Speaker 3: address is not who lives at that address. And that's 1318 01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:42,120 Speaker 3: when I was like, well, who lives there? What's his name? 1319 01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:47,000 Speaker 3: What is because the video and the article that was 1320 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:50,760 Speaker 3: online that morning was just sort of Bondai businessman forty 1321 01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:56,480 Speaker 3: seven superannuation fraud. It was very broad and what the 1322 01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:59,400 Speaker 3: detectives have hoped with that video was that people like 1323 01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,240 Speaker 3: me would see and then come forward because they didn't 1324 01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:05,000 Speaker 3: have all the victims at that point, but no details 1325 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:09,240 Speaker 3: had been released. And then that's when I did get 1326 01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:11,439 Speaker 3: in touch with his brother in law and he'd sent 1327 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:14,000 Speaker 3: me a message saying, you know, call me back urgently 1328 01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,480 Speaker 3: on this number, Chris, and in brackets he wrote Hamish's 1329 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:18,880 Speaker 3: brother in law. And that's the first time I saw 1330 01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:20,560 Speaker 3: his name. And I called Chris and I said, who 1331 01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:24,440 Speaker 3: the fuck is Hamish? And he said Hamish McLaren And 1332 01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:27,120 Speaker 3: I said, well, who's Max Tavita. So I was just 1333 01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,200 Speaker 3: in this world where I was like I'd heard this 1334 01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:31,920 Speaker 3: new name. I didn't know him as that, And then, 1335 01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:35,240 Speaker 3: of course, armed with his actual name, I would go 1336 01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:37,760 Speaker 3: into the internet and find a very long and deep 1337 01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:40,040 Speaker 3: history of all of the things that he had been 1338 01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:40,360 Speaker 3: up to. 1339 01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:44,560 Speaker 1: Okay, well, look we might we might take a break. 1340 01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:50,840 Speaker 1: At this point, I'm I'm angry. I can't imagine how 1341 01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:55,080 Speaker 1: you It would just be an absolute headspin on trying 1342 01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:57,840 Speaker 1: to comprehend that. So we're going to take a break, 1343 01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,360 Speaker 1: and when we get back, we'll talk about how you 1344 01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:03,000 Speaker 1: processed what you found out and how your life was 1345 01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:06,480 Speaker 1: from that moment or that turned upside down. But I 1346 01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:09,600 Speaker 1: think those that have been listening to your talk through 1347 01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:15,480 Speaker 1: understand how the relationship just organically grew and there weren't 1348 01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:19,360 Speaker 1: warning signs. Their everything seemed perfect. And you're not some 1349 01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:23,200 Speaker 1: naive idiot that just was told the whole pack of lies. 1350 01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:27,440 Speaker 1: You're a smart person, a person that had the intelligence 1351 01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:32,480 Speaker 1: to suspect someone, but you've just been calm, Just calm that. Okay, 1352 01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:36,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to be fascinated how you did react after 1353 01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:39,600 Speaker 1: finding out the person that you loved and invested your 1354 01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:44,280 Speaker 1: money with didn't even exist. Buckle up back soon