WEBVTT - The 5 things you need to do for ultimate wellness 0:00:05.921 --> 0:00:07.281 Apoche Production. 0:00:10.161 --> 0:00:11.440 Welcome to Behind the Drapes. 0:00:11.561 --> 0:00:14.761 I'm your host Brent Draper aka Drakes, and I'm Shanlee 0:00:14.841 --> 0:00:17.681 Draper and we're here to talk about stuff according to us. 0:00:18.481 --> 0:00:21.401 Hey guys, it's Draper here and I was naked on 0:00:21.441 --> 0:00:22.321 the Golkos Highway. 0:00:23.441 --> 0:00:27.921 Yoah, buddy, She's made to give her You are a 0:00:28.121 --> 0:00:29.481 strong woman. 0:00:32.321 --> 0:00:34.681 So today we've got an incredible wound by the name 0:00:34.721 --> 0:00:37.081 of Angela Davies here with us in the studio. And 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:39.760 first and foremost, Ange is a really good friend of 0:00:39.801 --> 0:00:42.401 ours who we adore and we feel so grateful to 0:00:42.441 --> 0:00:44.640 have in our lives. And second to that, she's got 0:00:44.641 --> 0:00:47.840 an amazing story. So she climbed the corporate ladder for 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:51.281 over fifteen years, only to unfortunately crash and burn kind 0:00:51.281 --> 0:00:53.641 of hard after her mental health and well being started 0:00:53.641 --> 0:00:58.481 to deteriorate. Ange's story is super powerful because it's so relatable. However, 0:00:58.521 --> 0:01:00.681 I think that what's really special and unique about her 0:01:00.801 --> 0:01:03.161 is that she was actually able to get herself out 0:01:03.161 --> 0:01:05.721 of that world he'll herself and then go on to 0:01:05.721 --> 0:01:09.081 study her master's in psychology, opening up her own business, 0:01:09.161 --> 0:01:12.121 Mind Your Grit, where she now helps people foster success 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.440 through well being, and she has so much to share 0:01:14.481 --> 0:01:16.840 and offer. So let's cutch to the chase and bring 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:17.280 her in. 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:18.761 Thank you, thanks for having me. 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:21.361 So good to have you here. So Ange, let's dive 0:01:21.401 --> 0:01:25.360 straight in. You had a really extensive corporate career. You 0:01:25.401 --> 0:01:28.800 worked in the banking sector. There something happened, right so, 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.121 I think it was twenty twenty two. You're driving in 0:01:31.121 --> 0:01:34.321 your car and something happened and that really shifted everything 0:01:34.321 --> 0:01:36.000 for you when it came to your career and your health. 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:37.521 So can you tell us about that time please? 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.200 I guess long story short, I had a really tough 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:44.200 year that year. Personally, I had a miscarriage three days 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.200 after my birthday, after I'd on my way home from 0:01:46.321 --> 0:01:49.841 Eden Health Retreat. Ironically, I was quite traumatic. My neighbor 0:01:49.841 --> 0:01:51.721 had to drive me to the hospital. Lamb was away. 0:01:51.841 --> 0:01:54.641 It was just a bit of an ordeal. And then 0:01:54.681 --> 0:01:57.041 two weeks later, the floods hit in the Northern Rivers 0:01:57.481 --> 0:02:01.721 and I reckon about seventy percent of our customers on our. 0:02:01.561 --> 0:02:03.721 Book or impacted by those floods. 0:02:03.881 --> 0:02:06.721 Huge, so very quick I had to forget about what 0:02:06.761 --> 0:02:10.001 happened two weeks ago and turned to just help our customers. 0:02:10.081 --> 0:02:13.161 Somehow and advocate for them, help our teams. Our Lizma 0:02:13.201 --> 0:02:17.641 office was entirely underwater, and so very quickly focused on that. 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:20.441 And then Liam got diagnosed with a chronic health condition 0:02:20.881 --> 0:02:23.801 two months after that, and so there were just multiple 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:27.601 things that had happened that alive, right, this stuff happens 0:02:27.601 --> 0:02:28.161 in life. 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:30.801 But instead of stopping and. 0:02:30.721 --> 0:02:34.441 Looking after myself, I just kept pushing and pushing and 0:02:34.481 --> 0:02:37.001 pushing and pushing. And I was in a client meeting 0:02:37.041 --> 0:02:40.321 in a really hot shed and I just felt myself 0:02:40.321 --> 0:02:43.441 feeling dizzy, the walls closing in, and I just excused myself. 0:02:43.481 --> 0:02:46.361 Thank god one of my bankers was there and could 0:02:46.361 --> 0:02:49.120 continue with the meeting. And I left and I jumped 0:02:49.121 --> 0:02:52.121 in you know the bank fullell drive and got on 0:02:52.121 --> 0:02:54.961 the freeway, and I honestly thought I was having a 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.601 heart attack, Like my heart was pounding. 0:02:57.361 --> 0:02:59.841 Out of my chest. I could not see, Like. 0:02:59.761 --> 0:03:02.281 I was like so scary driving like. 0:03:02.281 --> 0:03:04.681 Drop one hundred and ten kilometer an hour road, so 0:03:04.761 --> 0:03:06.881 not even just in the backstreets. 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:09.441 And I pulled over because. 0:03:09.281 --> 0:03:10.881 I was like I can't breathe, Like I was like 0:03:10.921 --> 0:03:14.041 something's happened, going to die, a full body shut down 0:03:14.081 --> 0:03:16.241 what it felt like, and so I pulled over on 0:03:16.281 --> 0:03:18.921 the side of the road. I called Liam, my husband, 0:03:19.161 --> 0:03:22.001 and I was just like, something's wrong, like I think 0:03:22.001 --> 0:03:25.001 about having a heart attack. And he's like the calmest 0:03:25.001 --> 0:03:28.121 man you've ever met, and he was just like just breathing. 0:03:28.161 --> 0:03:29.561 He talked to me through my breathing, and I had 0:03:29.561 --> 0:03:31.800 pulled like I'd pulled over on this like tiny shoulder 0:03:31.881 --> 0:03:34.601 on the m one trucks were like brushing past and 0:03:34.641 --> 0:03:36.801 I could feel it because the car would shake every 0:03:36.801 --> 0:03:40.041 time it would go past. And he just talked me 0:03:40.081 --> 0:03:42.321 out of it, and I was like, what the bloody. 0:03:41.961 --> 0:03:43.161 Hell just happened? 0:03:43.641 --> 0:03:47.481 Like, and so, being the maniac and atype personality that 0:03:47.481 --> 0:03:50.001 I am, immediately I was like, what happened? So I 0:03:50.001 --> 0:03:53.321 think I need to study psychology. I don't understand what happened. 0:03:53.801 --> 0:03:56.321 Probably about two weeks after that, I found a way 0:03:56.401 --> 0:03:58.841 to apply for my master's in psychology because I was like, 0:03:58.841 --> 0:04:01.081 I need to figure out what happened. 0:04:01.401 --> 0:04:03.081 What happened after that when she realized you weren't having 0:04:03.081 --> 0:04:05.401 a heart attack, which is like so common, right, like 0:04:05.521 --> 0:04:08.521 so many people that don't understand what you know anxiety 0:04:08.601 --> 0:04:11.521 is or panic attacks that's the sort of common theme 0:04:11.521 --> 0:04:12.761 that you hear is that they think they're having a 0:04:12.761 --> 0:04:14.801 heart attack, which is so scary. And you were so young. 0:04:14.801 --> 0:04:16.721 How old are you now, thirty eight? So you were yeah, 0:04:16.761 --> 0:04:18.841 thirty thirty six six, Yeah, so so young. 0:04:19.001 --> 0:04:21.081 Yeah, So I thought I was like, was that a 0:04:21.121 --> 0:04:24.561 panic attack? Like I thought that, But then at the 0:04:24.601 --> 0:04:26.841 same time, I was teaching twenty pilartates classes a week, 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.481 at the same time as working sixty hours in banking 0:04:29.681 --> 0:04:30.440 a week. 0:04:30.201 --> 0:04:32.681 And so and dealing with a flood crisis by the way, Yeah, 0:04:32.761 --> 0:04:34.921 so like not just working normal hours, like people were 0:04:34.921 --> 0:04:37.241 really heavily relying on you and in bad situations. 0:04:37.361 --> 0:04:41.640 Yeah, absolutely, And that continued for months and months, and 0:04:41.681 --> 0:04:42.921 so I was like, oh, I've got to get ready 0:04:42.921 --> 0:04:45.561 to teach my polarates class. So I just went back 0:04:45.601 --> 0:04:47.721 to it, back to it. Yeah, same as when I 0:04:47.761 --> 0:04:49.281 had the miscarriage. I was like, oh, I think I 0:04:49.281 --> 0:04:51.801 could need to go teach polarates, and my doctor's like, 0:04:51.841 --> 0:04:53.640 you need to go to the hospital immediately. 0:04:53.801 --> 0:04:54.161 Yeah. 0:04:54.201 --> 0:04:56.481 So this is why I had. 0:04:56.401 --> 0:04:59.721 The panic attack, because I was not listening to what 0:04:59.841 --> 0:05:03.400 my body needed and it screamed at me until I listened. 0:05:03.641 --> 0:05:06.561 Of course, it did. Yeah, well that's what they say, right, Like, 0:05:06.601 --> 0:05:08.281 if you're not listening to it, or you kind of 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:09.681 you're not listen to your brain, your body will tell 0:05:09.681 --> 0:05:09.961 you what to do. 0:05:10.081 --> 0:05:11.201 Yeah, but it will stop yep. 0:05:11.841 --> 0:05:15.561 So okay, So this happens, and then you start thinking, okay, 0:05:15.561 --> 0:05:17.281 I need to figure out what happened to me mentally 0:05:17.361 --> 0:05:19.520 or psychologically. There there's something not right. Yeah, and you 0:05:19.521 --> 0:05:21.641 decide I'm gonna gree study, which is funny because like, 0:05:21.721 --> 0:05:23.401 let's just add one more thing to the plate, you know, 0:05:23.521 --> 0:05:26.801 like I'm very busy, ye, so let's add Masters of Psychology. 0:05:27.201 --> 0:05:28.200 What happened from there? 0:05:28.721 --> 0:05:32.241 So I got accepted, and I was like, how am 0:05:32.281 --> 0:05:35.121 I going to do twenty hours of pilates, fifty to 0:05:35.161 --> 0:05:38.081 sixty hours of work, and then twenty to thirty hours 0:05:38.081 --> 0:05:39.321 a week of Masters. 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:41.400 Like I'm a banker, you do the maths. There's no 0:05:41.601 --> 0:05:42.481 space for that. 0:05:43.121 --> 0:05:45.041 And so very quickly I realized I was going to 0:05:45.121 --> 0:05:48.401 have to quit my full time job. Yeah, I couldn't 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:52.241 do it, and it was really important for me to study, 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:56.921 and so I didn't quit immediately. I guess working in finance, 0:05:56.921 --> 0:06:01.241 I'm very conscious of making sure that I had enough 0:06:01.401 --> 0:06:04.001 when I did quit, and so I saved six months 0:06:04.001 --> 0:06:07.720 worth of my salary before I felt comfortable to leath. 0:06:07.841 --> 0:06:10.441 Yeah big call. Yeah, like that's a huge poor to 0:06:10.481 --> 0:06:12.481 quit your job. Yeah, just a job. You had a 0:06:12.561 --> 0:06:14.681 very big career with a lot of people that were 0:06:14.721 --> 0:06:16.761 relying on you. You were like, no, I need to 0:06:16.801 --> 0:06:17.281 go first. 0:06:17.761 --> 0:06:19.440 I've never done that in my life. 0:06:19.481 --> 0:06:22.121 Like it was always my team before me, anyone else 0:06:22.201 --> 0:06:26.001 before me. And also so much of my identity was 0:06:26.041 --> 0:06:29.801 tied to what I did. You know, I wasn't just 0:06:29.921 --> 0:06:32.241 a I was ange and this is what I do, 0:06:32.801 --> 0:06:36.080 and so there was a lot to unpack. But I 0:06:36.361 --> 0:06:39.320 just knew I'm very much a person who goes with 0:06:39.361 --> 0:06:41.761 my gut with a lot of things, and I just 0:06:41.841 --> 0:06:42.401 knew that was what. 0:06:42.361 --> 0:06:42.881 I had to do. 0:06:43.841 --> 0:06:47.361 Amazing, So let's talk practical steps. So what did you 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:49.281 actually do because we can talk about like, you know, 0:06:49.361 --> 0:06:50.961 then I went and studied, and then I decided to 0:06:51.001 --> 0:06:54.321 quit my job. But like that stuff didn't happen straight away. No, 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:56.561 I didn't just like magically overnight and start feeling better. 0:06:56.601 --> 0:06:58.521 I don't imagine. I know, you know the amount of 0:06:58.601 --> 0:07:00.761 stress that you carried, you know, trauma and those kind 0:07:00.761 --> 0:07:02.641 of things and stuff takes a while to sort of dissipate, 0:07:02.721 --> 0:07:06.481 So practical steps. How do you get from me super crazy, 0:07:06.521 --> 0:07:09.041 burnt out after nearly two decades in this kind of 0:07:09.081 --> 0:07:12.161 career yeap, just slowing down to relaxing your nervous system 0:07:12.521 --> 0:07:14.601 and getting your mental health right. And also how did 0:07:14.641 --> 0:07:17.201 you afford to take the time out? Because people that 0:07:17.241 --> 0:07:19.601 are listening are probably like, cool, I've also felt the 0:07:19.641 --> 0:07:21.281 same way, or I'm going through this right now. But 0:07:21.321 --> 0:07:24.201 I can't just like quit my job, you know, and yeah, 0:07:24.201 --> 0:07:26.521 maybe they have children, maybe they don't have children. How 0:07:26.521 --> 0:07:28.601 do you just quit your job and start studying when 0:07:28.601 --> 0:07:31.041 you're thirty six years old? That seems like a really 0:07:31.081 --> 0:07:31.961 big ask for people. 0:07:32.161 --> 0:07:34.241 Yeah, and a big risk, right, you know, you're giving 0:07:34.321 --> 0:07:36.840 up a really good job. I guess I had dropped 0:07:36.841 --> 0:07:38.121 the ego and I was like, if we really need 0:07:38.161 --> 0:07:39.761 money on stack shelves at Coles. 0:07:39.641 --> 0:07:42.241 Like, you know, for me, I'm like, I knew that 0:07:42.401 --> 0:07:45.641 we would be okay. And I knew once. 0:07:45.481 --> 0:07:47.321 I got accepted that I needed to save, and so 0:07:47.481 --> 0:07:51.281 I was a maniac, like I scrutinized every bit of 0:07:51.321 --> 0:07:53.601 my budget. I knew what I had to save and 0:07:53.641 --> 0:07:55.641 I knew that if I had six months up my 0:07:55.721 --> 0:07:58.481 sleeve of my salary, that I'd be able to last 0:07:58.521 --> 0:07:59.441 probably about a year. 0:07:59.881 --> 0:08:01.721 A yeah, yeah, yeah, that's amazing. 0:08:01.721 --> 0:08:04.401 So I was like, if I just say that, that 0:08:04.561 --> 0:08:07.241 just gives me the buffer to just go and study 0:08:07.401 --> 0:08:08.681 and feel. 0:08:08.441 --> 0:08:10.601 Okay, did you have to pay for your study upfront? 0:08:10.881 --> 0:08:13.001 Well, you can put it on hex what's it called? 0:08:13.041 --> 0:08:13.241 If you? 0:08:13.841 --> 0:08:15.561 But then I did that, then I paid it. 0:08:15.841 --> 0:08:18.601 This was really hard for me, and as someone who 0:08:18.881 --> 0:08:22.081 does not like to relax and does not like quiet time, 0:08:22.841 --> 0:08:24.761 because I felt like I had to hustle from such 0:08:24.761 --> 0:08:26.441 a young age. I felt like, what am I missing 0:08:26.481 --> 0:08:29.201 out on? If I'm not hustling? Am I being lazy? 0:08:29.761 --> 0:08:33.281 You get ahead by hustling and working. And all of 0:08:33.321 --> 0:08:36.441 this taught me in twenty twenty two that you have 0:08:36.681 --> 0:08:40.161 nothing if you don't have your health. And it sounds 0:08:40.201 --> 0:08:42.361 like a cliche to say, but that was right there 0:08:42.361 --> 0:08:44.321 in front of me. I couldn't keep doing my job, 0:08:44.441 --> 0:08:47.761 I couldn't be there for my friends, my family because 0:08:47.801 --> 0:08:51.601 my health wasn't good. And so that year I retreated, 0:08:51.841 --> 0:08:54.841 like I pulled away from friends and so it took 0:08:54.841 --> 0:08:56.841 a long time, and it actually took for me to 0:08:56.961 --> 0:09:01.441 study psychology to learn some more tools to be able 0:09:01.481 --> 0:09:03.441 to heal this burnout. 0:09:03.481 --> 0:09:06.201 And I would say it took me a full year 0:09:06.601 --> 0:09:09.241 to really heal the burnout while I was studying. 0:09:09.281 --> 0:09:13.401 I mean, your nervous system would have just been absolutely firing. Yeah, 0:09:13.441 --> 0:09:15.881 Like you would have just been a bit of a result. Yeah. 0:09:15.921 --> 0:09:17.241 Like it's a bit of a hot message in terms 0:09:17.281 --> 0:09:19.841 of like your brain probably couldn't even compute certain things 0:09:19.881 --> 0:09:21.401 because you were that burnt out. 0:09:21.361 --> 0:09:24.121 And I couldn't remember anything. I'd say things to people 0:09:24.201 --> 0:09:26.321 and then I'd repeat it, and I was like, am 0:09:26.361 --> 0:09:28.921 I getting Alzheimer's? Like quite seriously, I was like, am 0:09:28.961 --> 0:09:29.961 I developing dementia? 0:09:30.041 --> 0:09:30.121 Like? 0:09:30.161 --> 0:09:31.641 Why can't I remember this stuff? 0:09:31.841 --> 0:09:34.001 But it was just because when you're in a stressed 0:09:34.281 --> 0:09:37.481 state or a traumatic state, your brain doesn't lay down memories. 0:09:37.881 --> 0:09:40.641 Your body starts letting go of functions that it doesn't need, 0:09:40.681 --> 0:09:42.841 and your brain in particular when you're stressed, because it's 0:09:42.841 --> 0:09:44.321 like I've got to send everything. 0:09:43.961 --> 0:09:47.921 To deal with the stress. So it took a whole year. 0:09:48.041 --> 0:09:50.201 And is that why they say that people who have 0:09:50.601 --> 0:09:53.721 trauma in their childhood don't remember? Like can have people 0:09:53.721 --> 0:09:54.761 say that don't remember the childhood. 0:09:54.841 --> 0:09:56.681 Yeah, when you're in a traumatic state, your brain doesn't 0:09:56.721 --> 0:09:59.361 lay down memories and so it takes for you to 0:09:59.361 --> 0:10:02.881 feel safe typically for those to come back. So I 0:10:02.961 --> 0:10:06.081 learn a lot in psychology. I was really able to 0:10:06.841 --> 0:10:09.321 apply that to myself and use myself as a little 0:10:09.401 --> 0:10:11.881 They call it like an N of one experiment, like 0:10:11.961 --> 0:10:14.481 I was the one that I was experimenting on and 0:10:14.521 --> 0:10:16.801 trying all these different things, And that's sort of how 0:10:16.801 --> 0:10:19.521 I developed my framework that I now do my speeches 0:10:19.561 --> 0:10:23.881 around the five things that create a wellbeing buffer around 0:10:23.921 --> 0:10:27.401 you to help you manage and deal with burnout. 0:10:28.001 --> 0:10:29.001 But I think more. 0:10:28.841 --> 0:10:31.161 Important than that is being able to just take time 0:10:31.201 --> 0:10:33.121 to pause and check in with how you're really feeling, 0:10:33.281 --> 0:10:35.561 because it's very easy to keep going, going, going, going, 0:10:35.681 --> 0:10:40.001 going and not know how you're feeling. Changing your environment 0:10:40.081 --> 0:10:43.121 is really important as well, because everything is the same 0:10:43.161 --> 0:10:46.601 in your environment. So I say a lot, you've got kids, 0:10:46.641 --> 0:10:48.401 when do you get a moment? I say to take 0:10:48.561 --> 0:10:51.721 the micro moments because if you look at your screen 0:10:51.761 --> 0:10:54.441 time on your phone right now, how many hours is it? 0:10:54.521 --> 0:10:57.521 Saying that we're on there right And I think this 0:10:57.681 --> 0:11:00.801 might sound harsh, but we are the only people in 0:11:00.881 --> 0:11:03.081 charge of our wellbeing. There are things that impact it, 0:11:03.281 --> 0:11:05.001 but we're the only people in charge. 0:11:05.201 --> 0:11:07.521 So could you when you. 0:11:07.481 --> 0:11:09.561 Do the groceries and maybe drapes has got Bowie and 0:11:09.601 --> 0:11:12.361 Alfie's at school, sit for five minutes in the car 0:11:12.481 --> 0:11:14.561 and do some of the Stanford breathing, you know, big 0:11:14.601 --> 0:11:17.521 signing through the nose, extra sip of air, big long 0:11:17.561 --> 0:11:21.161 ex How there's a really really good tool. It's called 0:11:21.321 --> 0:11:24.921 implementation intentions. So it's part of a behavior change model. 0:11:25.481 --> 0:11:28.521 And what it is is you create a handful of 0:11:28.761 --> 0:11:33.441 if then sentences. If I'm feeling anxious, I. 0:11:33.441 --> 0:11:34.121 Go for a run. 0:11:34.281 --> 0:11:36.681 If I'm feeling overwhelmed at home, I go for a 0:11:36.681 --> 0:11:37.721 ten minute walk around the block. 0:11:37.841 --> 0:11:38.161 Yeah. 0:11:38.201 --> 0:11:40.721 If I have five minutes before an appointment, I do 0:11:40.801 --> 0:11:41.681 my Stanford breathing. 0:11:41.921 --> 0:11:45.121 Yes, not a scroll Instagram because it's accessible to me 0:11:45.161 --> 0:11:46.241 and it's a quick dopamine hit. 0:11:46.321 --> 0:11:46.961 Absolutely. 0:11:47.401 --> 0:11:49.121 A really good way to stop the scrolling is to 0:11:49.121 --> 0:11:52.321 turn your phone to grayscale. If you want grayscale, so 0:11:52.361 --> 0:11:53.321 it's like black and white. 0:11:53.481 --> 0:11:55.601 Never heard of it? Oh, I did do that. I 0:11:55.641 --> 0:11:58.321 do not disturb. I love that. Yeah, but then I 0:11:58.321 --> 0:12:00.441 find myself like turning it off. Sometimes. Yeah, Like eight 0:12:00.481 --> 0:12:02.001 o'clock at night, I'm like, cool, do not disturb by 0:12:02.041 --> 0:12:03.881 Like eight thirty, I'm like in bed about to watch 0:12:03.881 --> 0:12:06.281 Bloody Vanda Pump Rules, And I'm like, oh, under, Like 0:12:06.361 --> 0:12:08.721 we're so dumb. We set ourselves up for failure. 0:12:08.401 --> 0:12:10.921 All the time. No, we're not dumb. We are not dumb. 0:12:11.041 --> 0:12:14.561 The apps are playing to what they know our brain wants. Like, 0:12:14.681 --> 0:12:18.441 it is not us being dumb. Our brain knows it's 0:12:18.441 --> 0:12:20.681 going to get that little false dopamine hit every time 0:12:21.041 --> 0:12:23.561 that it looks, and you get a new little like 0:12:23.761 --> 0:12:26.041 or a new piece of information. There are two things 0:12:26.081 --> 0:12:28.881 that are really helpful for that. There's an app called 0:12:28.961 --> 0:12:32.481 opal okay that you install on your phone and you 0:12:32.721 --> 0:12:35.521 set what apps you want to shut down and from 0:12:35.521 --> 0:12:38.841 what times, and once you've set it, you cannot unset it. 0:12:38.921 --> 0:12:40.841 But the day that's what the iPhones do with screen time? 0:12:40.921 --> 0:12:41.041 Is that? 0:12:41.081 --> 0:12:41.761 Why is it different? 0:12:41.921 --> 0:12:42.921 I don't think it is the same. 0:12:43.121 --> 0:12:45.601 So it actually shuts the apps down like you cannot 0:12:45.641 --> 0:12:47.641 oh you can't open. 0:12:47.401 --> 0:12:49.841 Them, okay, because you can on the iPhone like Instagram. 0:12:49.921 --> 0:12:51.321 I've done that and it's like do you want another 0:12:51.361 --> 0:12:52.121 fifteen minutes? 0:12:52.841 --> 0:12:53.041 Yes? 0:12:53.081 --> 0:12:54.641 I do of course I do. I'm not going to 0:12:54.721 --> 0:12:55.521 just shut that shit down. 0:12:55.561 --> 0:12:58.041 Okay, people does not allow the fifteen minutes you say 0:12:58.721 --> 0:13:01.241 eight pm to eight am. I want no emails, no 0:13:01.281 --> 0:13:05.321 text messages, no Instagram, no Facebook for that time that 0:13:05.321 --> 0:13:05.761 you set it for. 0:13:05.761 --> 0:13:06.801 The twenty four you cannot. 0:13:07.001 --> 0:13:07.761 You can't do it. 0:13:07.761 --> 0:13:08.161 It's daring. 0:13:08.201 --> 0:13:11.121 I love this. Yeah, this is really powerful because yeah, 0:13:11.241 --> 0:13:13.641 the iPhone doesn't really set you up for success with that. 0:13:13.721 --> 0:13:15.601 Well no, because the iPhone wants you on the iPhone 0:13:16.081 --> 0:13:18.281 and then gray scales are other good ones. So it 0:13:18.361 --> 0:13:20.561 turns your phone black and white, super easy to do 0:13:20.641 --> 0:13:23.281 in your settings. Once you've turned it black and white, 0:13:23.281 --> 0:13:25.361 if you open Instagram a couple of times, you'll just. 0:13:25.401 --> 0:13:28.201 Be really, it doesn't look appealing. Pile it. We can't 0:13:28.201 --> 0:13:30.721 because our phones are recording, butilotte very appeal. 0:13:30.761 --> 0:13:33.121 I'll show you after. It makes it very unappealing to 0:13:33.201 --> 0:13:33.561 look out. 0:13:33.641 --> 0:13:34.921 Yeah, so you just kind of get bored of it. 0:13:35.281 --> 0:13:37.721 Brains that there's no color on border forget. Okay, amazing. 0:13:38.081 --> 0:13:40.241 Do you leave your phone on loud when it's in 0:13:40.241 --> 0:13:42.121 the other room because for me, I know this is odd, 0:13:42.161 --> 0:13:44.681 but I always think, like my dad lives in Perth, 0:13:45.001 --> 0:13:46.481 what if something happens to my dad and they need 0:13:46.521 --> 0:13:47.641 to contact me in the middle of the night. My 0:13:47.681 --> 0:13:49.201 mum lives in Brisbane, she's on her own. What if 0:13:49.201 --> 0:13:51.801 she needs someone. This may sound like an excuse, but 0:13:51.841 --> 0:13:53.121 these are the things that I think about. I have 0:13:53.201 --> 0:13:54.881 it there because I'm just I don't think about putting 0:13:54.921 --> 0:13:56.521 it in the other rooms. Yes, but I always think, 0:13:56.561 --> 0:13:58.921 what if, like someone that really needs me. And the 0:13:59.001 --> 0:14:00.921 funny thing is no one kind of ever has. 0:14:01.241 --> 0:14:02.801 So you can keep it in your room, but put 0:14:02.841 --> 0:14:04.641 it so that you're not when you're lying in bed, 0:14:05.121 --> 0:14:07.441 you would have to get out of bed to. 0:14:07.481 --> 0:14:08.441 Go and get it. 0:14:08.521 --> 0:14:09.401 Yeah, there's resistance. 0:14:09.601 --> 0:14:10.441 There's resistance. 0:14:10.641 --> 0:14:13.841 Create resistance in your environment, and the more resistance, the 0:14:13.921 --> 0:14:15.801 less likely you're going to be able to get up 0:14:15.841 --> 0:14:17.281 and get it. The other thing you can do is 0:14:17.281 --> 0:14:19.441 put override on, so when it's on sleep mode or 0:14:19.481 --> 0:14:22.801 do not disturb, you can have certain contacts that override 0:14:22.921 --> 0:14:23.881 that do not disturb. 0:14:24.001 --> 0:14:27.001 Right, And so if Liam Ring's on my do not disturb, 0:14:27.121 --> 0:14:28.761 his call will always come through on louch. 0:14:28.761 --> 0:14:31.241 Okay, maybe I need to do that again. Amazing. Well, there's 0:14:31.241 --> 0:14:34.281 some great practical steps. First and foremost, the other thing 0:14:34.441 --> 0:14:37.561 is I feel like it can be so overwhelming to 0:14:37.641 --> 0:14:41.121 do personal development. Like most of us have jobs. If 0:14:41.161 --> 0:14:43.041 we have children, great, if we don't, we're still busy. 0:14:43.041 --> 0:14:45.361 There's a lot of stuff going on, it feels like 0:14:45.401 --> 0:14:47.561 for me and kind of going through what I've seen 0:14:47.681 --> 0:14:50.161 Drapes go through with his mental health, there was no 0:14:50.281 --> 0:14:52.961 way he could have gone back to work after Master Chef. 0:14:53.161 --> 0:14:56.361 He was on the couch like he was not good 0:14:56.401 --> 0:14:59.481 for like four months, and I watched him get back 0:14:59.521 --> 0:15:01.521 to himself and work on his mental health, but that 0:15:01.561 --> 0:15:03.881 took so much time. He was, honestly like a job, 0:15:04.081 --> 0:15:05.881 and not all of us had luxury to just like 0:15:05.921 --> 0:15:08.601 tap out for three months and sort ourselves out. It 0:15:08.641 --> 0:15:11.081 feels overwhelming sometimes, and people might think that it's a 0:15:11.121 --> 0:15:13.281 little bit too hard to do because I don't want 0:15:13.321 --> 0:15:15.281 to have to add one more thing to my day. Yeah, 0:15:15.281 --> 0:15:17.201 Like when I listen to these podcasts and I hear 0:15:17.601 --> 0:15:19.841 do this and add this and take this supplement and 0:15:19.881 --> 0:15:21.401 like this will change your life, I'm like, fuck me, 0:15:21.641 --> 0:15:24.281 Like I'm taking the liver, I'm like ewing the walks, 0:15:24.321 --> 0:15:26.921 I'm doing the training, I'm fucking calorie chounting, like I'm 0:15:26.961 --> 0:15:28.721 doing all these things every day, and I don't want 0:15:28.721 --> 0:15:31.001 to have to add two more things. I actually can't 0:15:31.041 --> 0:15:34.041 right now, yeap, So I don't understand how we're supposed 0:15:34.081 --> 0:15:36.001 to add any more of these tips into our lives 0:15:36.041 --> 0:15:37.921 to help out mental health and well being if we're 0:15:37.961 --> 0:15:39.481 having a hard time, like do we drop some. 0:15:39.921 --> 0:15:41.881 There are two things that I say, lower the bar, 0:15:42.401 --> 0:15:45.161 Always lower the bar. How many times have you looked 0:15:45.201 --> 0:15:46.241 and be like, oh, I don't have an hour, I 0:15:46.241 --> 0:15:48.441 can't go do a workout, but can you do five 0:15:48.481 --> 0:15:49.321 squats in the kitchen? 0:15:49.521 --> 0:15:50.641 Yeah, Like it. 0:15:50.641 --> 0:15:55.041 Sounds silly, but those five squats immediately released dopamine and 0:15:55.161 --> 0:15:56.481 just help you to lift your mood a little bit. 0:15:57.041 --> 0:15:57.281 You know. 0:15:57.761 --> 0:15:59.641 I always think it's about the little. 0:15:59.601 --> 0:16:04.081 Small things that you can implement instead not and you know, 0:16:04.241 --> 0:16:09.041 it's not about out doing a three hour morning routine day. 0:16:09.201 --> 0:16:12.401 Andrew Huberman, Andrew Huberman, but you know. 0:16:12.721 --> 0:16:14.561 Dope, And I talk about this recently. The days of 0:16:14.601 --> 0:16:16.721 four thirty a and wake ups, walking on the beach, 0:16:16.881 --> 0:16:19.881 doing the workout, having a coffee at a cafe, like 0:16:20.361 --> 0:16:21.521 those days are gone for us. 0:16:21.681 --> 0:16:21.961 Yep. 0:16:22.241 --> 0:16:25.281 I took a long time to kind of rewire my 0:16:25.321 --> 0:16:28.081 brain of like shit, I can't do that anymore. I've 0:16:28.121 --> 0:16:29.281