1 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,120 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Welcome to you. This week's My Joe Monday. 2 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: I'm Carlie Taylor, and I want to talk to you 3 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: today about an approach to life that has had quite 4 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: an impact on my everyday mindset, and it's called constructive living. 5 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: The term was coined by David Reynolds, who has taken 6 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: the philosophies of Maritio therapy and I CAN and created 7 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: an approach and a program called constructive living. And he's 8 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: written a book under the same title, So if you 9 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: are interested in finding out more about it than you 10 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 1: can buy the book. So have you ever woken up 11 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:52,240 Speaker 1: feeling overwhelmed or stuck or unsure of what to do? 12 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,319 Speaker 1: And this has happened to me, And it can be 13 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: really hard when it happens, because when we feel stuck, 14 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: we tend to turn our attention inward to problem solving, 15 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: because that's what our minds do best. Our minds love 16 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: to solve problems. But in this particular situation, we can 17 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 1: end up overthinking it. We go into analytic mode, and 18 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: that often can lead to well, not very much, but 19 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: a whole lot of pain. Sometimes we simply also don't 20 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: have a clear plan for the day or we're not 21 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: in the so called perfect mood. But here's the thing. 22 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: There's always something you can do right now. It could 23 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: be as small and essential as tackling a load of laundry, 24 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 1: or doing some housework, or taking a quick trip to 25 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: the shops for groceries. And these are the small bettersential 26 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: actions that keep life moving forward even when your emotions 27 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: are swelling around like a storm, and sometimes you might 28 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: feel paralyzed by what you're experiencing. But this approach is 29 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: all about accepting how you feel, which we know comes 30 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: and goes and changes just like the weather, and then 31 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: choosing to act anyway. So even if you're not in 32 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: the mood, you can still decide to get organized, maybe 33 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: you know, cleaning out the fridge or doing your taxes 34 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: or organizing a drawer. And in fact, Ethan Cross, who's 35 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: one of the world's leading experts on emotional regulation and 36 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: wrote a brilliant book called Chatter, so look that one up. 37 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: He reminds us that these simple everyday tasks are not trivial. 38 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 1: They're powerful actions, and they help break the cycle of inaction, 39 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: so they can ground you in the present and show 40 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: you that even when you feel overwhelmed. You have this 41 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 1: power to keep moving forward, keep making progress. And I 42 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: feel like I'm living proof of this because I have 43 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: felt strong emotions that could easily have dragged me down 44 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: that emotional vortex, and there was one time that this happened. 45 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: So what I did was I sorted out my training 46 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: gear draw, which was a complete mess, just like I 47 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: felt in my head. But it was this really big tick. 48 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: You know, I did something constructive. It actually felt good, 49 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: and during that time my attention was redirected towards organizing 50 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: the draw and away from the emotional storm in my head. 51 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: And if you look at this from a distraction point 52 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: of view, it's yes, we are distracting ourselves by doing this, 53 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: but it's constructive distraction. So rather than going on your 54 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: phone or opening up a bottle of wine or doing 55 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: all those things that we do to distract ourselves from 56 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: our emotions or our overthinking, we're actually doing something constructive 57 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: that's helping us move forward. And I know there are 58 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: moments of uncertainty in life that can feel really, really heavy. 59 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 1: But here's the beauty of this mindset is while you 60 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: might not have all the big answers, you do have 61 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: a clear path forward in the form of small necessary 62 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: tasks that keep life ticking away. And that's so important 63 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: because you think about it, you know, something like washing 64 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 1: the dishes, or folding the laundry, or running a quick errand, 65 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: or getting rid of the dust and grime. These actions 66 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: might seem kind of insignificant on their own, but they're 67 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: every day necessities. And often when we're so caught up 68 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: in our emotions or our thinking, we can withdraw and 69 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 1: we tend to not be motivated to do these things. 70 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: But Paul often says motivation follows action. And I'm not 71 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,359 Speaker 1: sure if he actually started that quote, but I know 72 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:56,600 Speaker 1: he's been saying it for years, and it really captures 73 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 1: the essence of what I'm talking about, because every time 74 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: you take action, you're not just completing a chore. You're 75 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: reinforcing the fact that you are capable of managing your 76 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,279 Speaker 1: day no matter what feelings that you are wrestling with. 77 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: It's about acknowledging your emotions without letting them paralyze you. 78 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: What you're saying by doing this is yes, I feel 79 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: this way, but I'm still going to do what needs 80 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: to be done. It's that simple act of moving and 81 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: taking action So this week, whether it's as simple as 82 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: sorting out a drawer or cleaning out the fridge, or 83 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: just taking a moment to do anything that needs to 84 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 1: be done, take that step and embrace the fact that 85 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 1: every little action is a win. And the other thing 86 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:55,480 Speaker 1: about this is it makes you realize that everything you do, 87 00:05:55,839 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: these small things have a purpose behind them. So you're 88 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,599 Speaker 1: not waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect mood. 89 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: You're creating that momentum right now. So let's make today 90 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: and this week about those small victories that add up 91 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: to a bigger, brighter picture and start with one tiny 92 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: task and let that action spark the motivation to tackle 93 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: even more. So I hope you all have a great 94 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: week and I will catch you next week. See ya.