1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land always was, always 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 2: Hey Jigs, I'm now and I'm sal And. 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 1: This is two Broke Chips to show that shares life 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: lessons and tips to make you rich in life. That 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,079 Speaker 1: one felt good. 7 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And today we're talking inexpensive ways to level 8 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 3: up before twenty twenty five. I can't believe those ones 9 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 3: just came out of my mouth. 10 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 4: It feels like literally last. 11 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: Week that we were doing the vision board episode, literally do. 12 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 4: You want it? 13 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 3: This time of year just always feels like it feels 14 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 3: like that beat and Mary Poppins when he's like. 15 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 4: Ween in the East, Miss coming in. 16 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: Ani's brewy gebe gee Biggie. 17 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 3: Like it's like the calm before the storm, but like 18 00:00:58,480 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 3: I fuck with the storm. 19 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 4: Storm, She's a storm, don't you you do? Yeah? I do. 20 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 4: Christmas we love. 21 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 3: I just love November and December and January. I love 22 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 3: the next three months. 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,680 Speaker 4: But before we get into. 24 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 1: The episode, we always share our obsession of the week, 25 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 1: and I have a little game basically, you haven't watched 26 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: this show, it's tell me lies. I don't even know 27 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 1: what category or genre I would put. 28 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 4: Tell me lies. 29 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: In. It's like a fucked up drama that's like started. 30 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: You thought it was like a rom com, but it's 31 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: like not a rom com. 32 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 3: And the actors like In an interview, the main one 33 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 3: of the main actresses said she watched Vanda Pump Rules 34 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,039 Speaker 3: to get inspiration because they all just hate each other 35 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 3: and a mean to each other. Oh my god, so frenemies, yes, yes, 36 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 3: very frenemies vibes. So I'm going to play a little 37 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 3: game that I have coined talking fact or talking smack. 38 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: There's spoilers, by the way, if you haven't watched it. 39 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you things that happened in the show, 40 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: and you have to say whether or not it did 41 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: happen in the show or if I'm making it up. Okay, Okay, 42 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: are you ready? All right? 43 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 3: A girl's boyfriend actually dated her college roommate secretly, and 44 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 3: he drunk drove while she was giving him head and 45 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 3: he crashed the car, killed her and didn't tell anyone. 46 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 2: Strong fact. 47 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 4: Okay. 48 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 3: A girl fucked her professor's husband, who was also a professor, 49 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,360 Speaker 3: and started having an affair with him, but he was 50 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 3: secretly in an open marriage and her actual professor knew 51 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 3: about it. 52 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 4: The whole time. 53 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: Fact. 54 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 4: Okay, I want them all too true. 55 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 3: A girl pretended to get a bad ELSAT test score 56 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 3: and pretended that her dad cut her off and told 57 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 3: her boyfriend she couldn't pay for his law degree to 58 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 3: manipulate him into breaking up with her. 59 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 4: I'm gonna say, smack, okay, okay, tell me. Are you 60 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 4: ready for the reveal? 61 00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: Yeah? 62 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 4: They were all fact. 63 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, screaming, screaming, and there's so many other things. 64 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 3: This is my super Bowl, Like, it is the most 65 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 3: cooked show in the world, and I'm. 66 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 2: Fucking eating it. I'm eating it up. 67 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 4: My obsession of the week is also a TV show. 68 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,839 Speaker 2: Why we always do there? 69 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 4: We're always a line? 70 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I reckon you might be a bit surprised 71 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: because it's the Australian reboot of the Office. 72 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 2: Have you watched it already? 73 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: I haven't finished it, but I think I'm like eight 74 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: episodes in and. 75 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 4: It's really good. 76 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: I've heard really good things about it. 77 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 4: Yea, I've seen like a few things. 78 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: About being like, it's really good. And to remember that 79 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: when you first watched The Office, you probably didn't really 80 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: like it either, And that was also a reboot of 81 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: the UK Office, and like The Office is one of 82 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: those kind of slow burned shows that like, if you 83 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 1: don't like it at the start, like some people loved 84 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: it from the start, but you don't like it from 85 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: the start, you watch a couple and it grows an 86 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: you a bit exactly. I think that's the point, because 87 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: it's supposed to be awkward and make you feel like 88 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: you're seeing on the edge of your seat and crin. 89 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: What's your favorite thing about it? 90 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 4: That it's so Australian. 91 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 2: Yes, I love that. That's what I love about. 92 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,239 Speaker 1: Heartbreak High exactly. So they have all of those really 93 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: aussy Easter eggs built into it, lots of Australian humor. 94 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: It's really really good. Give it a chance if you 95 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: haven't already. 96 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:28,840 Speaker 4: Okay, And I'm not. 97 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,279 Speaker 1: Usually the biggest fan of like a reboot or a sequel, 98 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: Like I'm feeling pretty over it by now, but I 99 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: was pleasantly surprised. And it's really funny and the cast 100 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: is amazing. 101 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 4: I love it. 102 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm so excited to watch. I really hope they 103 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: do more than just one scene. 104 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,680 Speaker 4: What does Chris think? He loves it? 105 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god? 106 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, shall we get into the episode. 107 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 4: Let's do it. 108 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 3: The first inexpensive way to level up before twenty twenty 109 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 3: five is to start your twenty five goals early. We 110 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 3: think there's rules surrounding news resolutions, but there's not. 111 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 4: You can cheat, Yeah, you can. 112 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 1: This is the biggest areas way to look at it, 113 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,359 Speaker 1: Alex way to look at it early. 114 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:12,679 Speaker 4: Start. 115 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can start early, and you can literally 116 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: start your news resolutions and start your goals now to 117 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: set yourself up with like a little run up. 118 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 2: Let's say that give yourself a little. 119 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,160 Speaker 3: Run up to twenty twenty five and to what you 120 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 3: want those goals to be, rather than starting January first, Right. 121 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 3: I think what's good with this is it takes you 122 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 3: out of that mindset that goals or new habits or 123 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,119 Speaker 3: anything have to start on the first of the month, 124 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 3: or on Monday or when the blue moon comes into 125 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 3: the hawk. 126 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 2: Rise of the silver year. 127 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 3: Right, that you can start a new habit whenever the 128 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 3: fuck you want, And so starting it now gives you 129 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 3: this build up, this run up that makes it a 130 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 3: little bit easier to adopt new habits or adopt new 131 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,720 Speaker 3: things that you want to do that are going to 132 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 3: make you feel better or happier or bring you more joy. 133 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 1: These also don't always have to be like health related 134 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: or finance related. It can be some really fun, silly, 135 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: goofy girl things. And I really want that to be 136 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 1: a thing that's focused on, especially at the end of 137 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: the year, because it is when you start feeling a 138 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: little bit tired and you're a little bit like, yeah, 139 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: it's like prioritize things in this end of year. 140 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 3: Run up, right, that's going to bring you joy and 141 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 3: fun and excitement for twenty twenty five and kickstart that 142 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 3: because you know how like in the first episode of 143 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 3: the year, like our twenty twenty four vision board episode where. 144 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 2: We're like ready to kick your door off its hinges. Yeah, 145 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 2: let's pull that energy here. 146 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, draw from some of that inspiration. 147 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 3: One way that you can do this is starting that 148 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:58,040 Speaker 3: whole process of like vision boarding and aligning with what 149 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 3: you want your goals to be, but what you want 150 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 3: to do, like what's the actionable you want? Right, And 151 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 3: we were talking about this in the live show because 152 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 3: it's my new hyperfixation and it's. 153 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: About how your brain shapes your reality. So every day 154 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 1: your brain gathers evidence to support its internal beliefs. Bear 155 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 1: with me here, this is sounding of it. Where were 156 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: but it makes sense? 157 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 3: So your brain will seek out circumstances that back up 158 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 3: the things that you say or that you believe. So, 159 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 3: for example, if you think dating is shit and you're like, oh, 160 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 3: dating is so shit, I hate dating, men suck, you 161 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 3: will then your brain will then seek all the evidence 162 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 3: to support that. So we'll pull in every single bad date, 163 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 3: every single shitty ex boyfriend. If you're always saying I'm 164 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 3: always late, your brain is gonna then pull in all 165 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 3: the times that you were late. It's not going to 166 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 3: remember the times that you actually did get there ten 167 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 3: minutes earlier. 168 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 2: It's like, no, no, no, remember when you were late here? 169 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: Remember when you were late here? Yeah, well, we're always 170 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 1: late or procrastinator, whatever that belief system is. 171 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 3: You're telling your brain being like, go on the filing 172 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 3: cabinet and get every shitty thing that I did so 173 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 3: that I can feel like shit about myself. And it's 174 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 3: like the reason why you feel like shit is because 175 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 3: you're telling yourself you feel like shit. The reason why 176 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 3: you're not achieving goals is because you're. 177 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: Telling yourself you can't achieve those goals, and then your 178 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: brain is fun in the evidence to support it. 179 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 2: And I was like, hald on On, I'm in the matrix. Yeah, 180 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 2: we can hack this. 181 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: Hack the main we can hack the main frame. 182 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 3: Whenever I pull my email in and I click forget 183 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 3: password and I reset it, I feel like a hacker. Yeah, 184 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, you tried to keep me out, 185 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,439 Speaker 3: and they're like, you've already used that password. 186 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 2: Let me use it again. 187 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: So the power lies in the fact that you can 188 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,839 Speaker 1: change your perceived reality. So I'll link where I read 189 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: this from as well, because it was a really really 190 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: interesting article. 191 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 2: I'll also leave a link in. 192 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: The show notes of where I read this from because 193 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: I obviously didn't pluck this. 194 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 2: From thin air. 195 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 1: And so when you rewire your thoughts and beliefs and 196 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: purposely find or create evidence to give your brain, that's 197 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 1: when you start changing it. For so long, I was 198 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: like I can't run, Like I would always say that 199 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: I can't run, and then I literally just one day 200 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: I was like, this sucks, So I'm just going to 201 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: go for a run. 202 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 2: And I'm telling you couldn't even run for one minute. 203 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: But I ran, So I just then was like, wait, 204 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: you said you can't run, but you just ran, So 205 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,200 Speaker 1: my brain was like, hold on, that's actually not true. 206 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 2: You can run. And then it just it flows on 207 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 2: from that. 208 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 4: Yeah. 209 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: So whatever it is that you want to do, it's 210 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 1: the fake it till you make it mentality. It's go 211 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 1: and create evidence to give your brain to restructure your 212 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: internal beliefs of what you can do and what you 213 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: want to do in twenty twenty. 214 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 2: Five, and you can start that now. 215 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 3: That way of thinking has really really changed my outlook 216 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 3: and a lot of things. And it's not an overnight 217 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 3: thing either. I think when we have a habit of 218 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 3: certain beliefs. 219 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 1: Especially negative ones, those are really really hard to like 220 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: get out. 221 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 4: Of our brains. 222 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 3: Like even the way that we will say that like 223 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,679 Speaker 3: we're anxious, you know, like oh I'm anxious, I'm anxious. 224 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 3: You're not anxious, You're feeling anxious. Like it's rewiring those 225 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 3: and be like okay, what does that actually mean and 226 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 3: is it true? 227 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 4: Yeah? 228 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: It makes it less finite, yeah, which I like, it's 229 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: not fact love. 230 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 4: Okay. My first one is kind of like the. 231 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: Reverse of that, or perhaps the other side of that, 232 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: and it's to round up your twenty twenty four goals. 233 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: I think at this time of the year, we're like, oh, well, 234 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,440 Speaker 1: the year's over. Like dust their hands off, it's all done. 235 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: I may as well give up. In between now when 236 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: the episode drops and the first of January, there are 237 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 1: sixty four days until the new year. 238 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 4: That's plenty of time. 239 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: Take sixty six days to turn a micro habit into 240 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: an autopilot habit. Okay, so that's order. 241 00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,959 Speaker 3: I like that, yeah, because that's when things get easy, 242 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 3: when that's subconscious and what's become like an autopilot habit 243 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:04,199 Speaker 3: for you this year. 244 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 1: One thing that I've introduced recently that I wasn't doing 245 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: all year is reading one page of a book before bed. Yeah, 246 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: an autopilot habit that I've built, which I think is 247 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: really good because it just gives me a chance to 248 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: switch off. But also because I've already read one page. 249 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 1: It's very unlikely that I only read one page. 250 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 4: I usually end up reading a chapter or whatever. 251 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 1: But I think just making that the micro habit is 252 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: so achievable, and then it's helped, you know, ladder up 253 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: to that goal of reading more, but the larger goal, 254 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: which is, you know, having some more time to myself 255 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: or giving myself a chance to switch my brain off. 256 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 4: But I think that's the thing, Like, look back. 257 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: On what your goals were at the beginning of the year. 258 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,440 Speaker 1: Have a look at your vision board. What were the 259 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,079 Speaker 1: pictures that were on it? How has your year reflected 260 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 1: it or not reflected it. What things could you potentially 261 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: introduce into the last two months of the year that 262 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: we're on that vision board? Or what was your goal 263 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,559 Speaker 1: that you had for the year or one of your goals. 264 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: What's one micro habit you could introduce for the next 265 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: two months and how could you do that to feel 266 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: a little bit more accomplished by the end of the year. So, 267 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 1: like we were saying, it takes sixty six days to 268 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: turn a micro habit into an autopilot habit. There are 269 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: sixty four days in between now and the new year. 270 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: If you start today, by the time the first of 271 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 1: January rolls around, you'll almost be at that autopilot stage. 272 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 4: Like how amazing is that? 273 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: So, whether it is something that relates to a goal 274 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: that you had for yourself at the beginning of the year, 275 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,959 Speaker 1: or if it's a goal that you have for yourself 276 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: in the new. 277 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 4: Year, start now. 278 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: You don't have to wait until the first of January, 279 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 1: and it's not too late. You've still got plenty of 280 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: time to achieve your goals for the year. 281 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 4: Love it. 282 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: My next inexpensive way to level up before the end 283 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: of the year is to embrace a pm So a 284 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: PMA is something that was on RuPaul's drag race which 285 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 1: stayed with sould I forever four years later, and it 286 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 1: was was it Bimini or was it it was bmi 287 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: bombulash to Lawrence changing, Yes, that's right, and basically they 288 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: were getting ready and they said, oh, you've got an 289 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 1: embrace of PMA and it's a positive mental attitude. 290 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 4: And so when we enter. 291 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 3: The end of the year, it is kind of like 292 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 3: the petrol gauge light has come on. We don't really 293 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 3: have as much energy anymore, and we're sleepy, we don't 294 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 3: really have the social battery. But we've got so many 295 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 3: things to go on, and I think it can be 296 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 3: really easy to fall into a bit of a neg 297 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 3: energy because you just want to get to the end 298 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 3: of the year. But there are so many things to 299 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,559 Speaker 3: look forward to at the end of the year and 300 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 3: to rewire your brain and to reframe things to have 301 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 3: a positive mental and one of our favorite things that 302 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 3: Sally and I are even talking about this week is 303 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 3: just the way that we look at our interactions with 304 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 3: other people, whether it's people that we know or whether 305 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 3: they're strangers. And the crab theory from Florence's book, So 306 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 3: if you haven't read Florence Given's new book, it was 307 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 3: this theory that I just have really kept in the 308 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 3: front of my mind for whenever I'm being an egg, 309 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 3: not even necessarily with other people, but even when I'm 310 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 3: being like neg to myself. 311 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 4: And the crab theory is basically this theory of like. 312 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: Crabs in a bucket, and when crabs are in a bucket, 313 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: they help each other to get out of the bucket, 314 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 1: but as soon as the crab is about to get out, 315 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,479 Speaker 1: one crab or some crabs then sabotage their little crab tower. 316 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 2: And then none of them get out of the bucket. 317 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 1: And I also kind of use this example for myself 318 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: as well of if I'm being really hard on myself, 319 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 1: or if I'm looking at something or I'm annoyed at 320 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: something or whatever, just keep up. 321 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 4: I'm like, am I being a crab? 322 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 1: Like I'm like, am I sabotaging myself from getting out 323 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: of the bucket right now. And I think, like, I 324 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: just loved that example because it was such a great 325 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: example for the context that she put it in. But 326 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 1: I think like I just keep being like, are you 327 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 1: being a crab? No crabs, That's something that you can 328 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 1: have in your brain from now until the end of 329 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: the year for all those moments, like even if you're 330 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 1: being at Christmas lunch right that's far away or whatever 331 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: social thing it is, and maybe someone's grading on you 332 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 1: a little. 333 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 2: Bit, but are you being a crab? 334 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: Could you actually just think, yeah, okay, that's fine, no 335 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: crab vibes. 336 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 4: Okay. My next tip, do an annoying audit. I love 337 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 4: this tip. So you know, all of. 338 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 1: Those little things on the daily that frustrate you and 339 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I need to do this, I need 340 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: to do that. 341 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 4: Pick at least one of them and tackle it. 342 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of the time these things 343 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 1: take like between five minutes to an hour to do, 344 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 1: but we just never make time to do them because 345 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: they are annoying, they're not or they stressed you to 346 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: stress builds and then you do it and then you're 347 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: not stressed. Anymoe and you're like, ash, shit, yeah, they 348 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 1: were right exactly. But one thing recently that I did 349 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: that's an example of this was I was feeling really 350 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: overwhelmed by my email in box and I kept getting 351 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: notifications like every time I got an email being like 352 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 1: you're ninety eight percent full of your storage, like you 353 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: won't be able to send or receive emails soon, and 354 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: I delete, like emails. 355 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 3: Are you getting like all the like newsletter vibes? 356 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 4: Yeah? 357 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I would like delete you know, like ten 358 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: as they came through, But obviously that's not managed, Like, 359 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: that's not helping the problem. So I just like sat 360 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 1: down and spent you know, like half an hour tackling 361 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 1: this problem. And I still got more to do, but 362 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: it's gotten to the point that I no longer have 363 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: the notification and that's not stressing me out. But also 364 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: as I went through, I then unsubscribed from all the 365 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: emails that I no longer want, and then I would 366 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: just like type in the name of the brand or 367 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 1: whatever that I was subscribed to and then. 368 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 4: Do delete all love that. 369 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 1: So I like built a little system for myself. But 370 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: whatever that thing is for you, whether it's you know, 371 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,639 Speaker 1: doing your taxes, finding where your birth certificate is, setting 372 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 1: up your auto transfers. 373 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,920 Speaker 4: Pick one thing and do your annoying audit. 374 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's about finding what your avoidance coping with. Which 375 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 3: is this new psychological term that i'mvering. 376 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: And so this was from a clinical psychologist from Atlanta, Georgia. Wow, 377 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 1: And she said, and this is going to be really 378 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: annoying for us to fucking hears. Now. The problem with 379 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 1: avoidance coping is that it doesn't solve the issue. 380 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 4: Rude. 381 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 2: I know, Jess, come on, she's doctor Jess. 382 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 1: Goodnight, great name. I like that great name. 383 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 4: She says. 384 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 3: If you're avoiding something that scares you because it feels 385 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 3: like too much, you never learned to overcome your fear 386 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 3: and live more freely. Some forms of avoid it's coping 387 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:05,880 Speaker 3: cause additional problems. 388 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 4: Also, this is feeling personally. 389 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,880 Speaker 2: I was like, doctor good night, left right, good night? 390 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 4: I said good night. 391 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 2: I said good night. 392 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 3: But I did see another cute little stats from Cornell University, 393 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,119 Speaker 3: and it's that eighty five percent of the things we 394 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 3: worry about never happen. 395 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 1: How Good's that? 396 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,400 Speaker 4: It's amazing? 397 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:27,360 Speaker 2: Amazing? 398 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,360 Speaker 1: Is that to keep in your mind because brains and stress, 399 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: and Worri's just like. 400 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 2: Hook you in and they just run away and you. 401 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 3: Can't get them back, and then it's just sitting in 402 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 3: your chest like that pit and you're. 403 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 1: Like eighty five percent of the time they never fucking happen. 404 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: But even when Wurri's did come true, seventy nine percent 405 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: of participants handled the situation better than expected or learned 406 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: something valuable. 407 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 2: So even in moments. 408 00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: Even if the thing that you're stressing about does come true, 409 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,120 Speaker 1: you're better off for it. 410 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,719 Speaker 2: And I love that. 411 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,639 Speaker 1: So basically, nothing bad can happen to me. Ever again, Yeah, 412 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: my life is amazing and everyone else's life is amazing 413 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 1: because only fifteen percent of the shit. 414 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,959 Speaker 3: We worry about is actually going to come true and 415 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,399 Speaker 3: seventy nine percent of us are all going to be 416 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:17,919 Speaker 3: better for it. 417 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: Okay, my last and final quickie is I surprise I'm 418 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 1: sharing this one. 419 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,640 Speaker 4: I feel like this is a. 420 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: Cell tip, but it's to give a good gut, a 421 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: good declutter and get that shit out of your space. 422 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: Go into the new year with a fresh space without 423 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 1: all that shit around, like those weird things that you 424 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 1: bought that you've never even used. And I saw this 425 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 1: this method. We love a method. So it's called the 426 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: twelve twelve twelve Challenge, and it's a way to declutter 427 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 1: your space. So you locate twelve items to throw away, 428 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,479 Speaker 1: twelve to donate, and twelve to be returned to their 429 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: proper home. So imagine if you did that, like every 430 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: Sunday from now until the end of the year, how 431 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: much like more open and decluttered your space would be. 432 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 1: And that would take not a lot of time. That 433 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: would take maybe an hour two max. Yeah, without like, 434 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 1: because the one thing I hate about a declutter is 435 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: I make the mess and then and then I'm sitting 436 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,679 Speaker 1: there like the little horder woman going and yeah you know, 437 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 1: and when you like run out of energy, I'm wearing 438 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 1: like a cowboy boot, a sparkly hat and an eyepatch. Yeah, 439 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,040 Speaker 1: and I'm like and I'm naked. 440 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, how did we get here? 441 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's all a blur? 442 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what Max playing always? Yeah, I don't know 443 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: where my cat is. I donated her. 444 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 4: Okay. 445 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 1: My last hip is to close the chapter on whatever 446 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 1: has been weighing you down in twenty twenty four. 447 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 2: Bye bye, bye bye bye. 448 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 1: I know that when I said that something popped into 449 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 1: each and every one of your heads. 450 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 4: You know exactly what it is, and. 451 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: It's that one thing that's been weighing you down all year. 452 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 1: Now's the time to cut ties and let it go. 453 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,119 Speaker 1: I've read an article earlier this year. I'll link it 454 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,919 Speaker 1: in the show notes, and there was one line in 455 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 1: it that really stuck with me, and that it's your 456 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 1: life isn't a waiting room, and that you don't have 457 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 1: to sit around waiting for the right time or when 458 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,959 Speaker 1: it's not going to be so awkward, or you're going 459 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: to be less busy or things are going to click 460 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,159 Speaker 1: into place, because that will never happen. 461 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 4: And if you do that, life will slip by you 462 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 4: without you even realizing it. 463 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 1: And these things that we've been holding on to that 464 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: are weighing us down are part of the problem because 465 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,120 Speaker 1: we think, like, I'll deal with that later, I'll deal 466 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 1: with that when I'm less busy. Whether it's like a 467 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: toxic friendship or a romantic relationship that you know isn't serving. 468 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,360 Speaker 4: You anymore, or your job. 469 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: Or perhaps you know, like a confrontation with your manager 470 00:21:59,480 --> 00:21:59,959 Speaker 1: or something. 471 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know exactly what it is. It's in your 472 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 4: head right now. 473 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,679 Speaker 1: Make a goal before the end of the year to 474 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: cut whatever that is so that you're not carrying those 475 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 1: bad energies into twenty twenty five. 476 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 2: Dump here and on that note, damp that note. Damp 477 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 2: here's eighth. 478 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 1: Well, I love that, all right, so let's get into 479 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 1: advice of the ticks. 480 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 4: Woo. 481 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 1: My sister and I loved your live show. It was 482 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,240 Speaker 1: such a bonding experience with such a girlhood atmosphere created 483 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 1: by your community. Felt like we were a part of 484 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: something bigger. 485 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's so sweet. Thank you. I agree. 486 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 4: I also felt the same way, but I. 487 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: Didn't agree much was also the best, so. 488 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,400 Speaker 4: I felt like it was a really nice bonding experience. 489 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 1: I really wanted your advice about a stage in my relationship. 490 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I have been together since we were seventeen. 491 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,639 Speaker 1: We're twenty now. I have moved out of home, have 492 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,919 Speaker 1: a casual job while studying at university full time. I 493 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: have recently reached a saving milestone of fifteen thousand for my. 494 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 4: Dream of a Europe trip. 495 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's amazing. 496 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 4: Congrats. 497 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: My boyfriend started UNI and dropped out. He works with 498 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,439 Speaker 1: his dad a couple days a week mowing lawns and 499 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: plays rugby. He wants to play professionally. He recently tore 500 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:27,480 Speaker 1: his acl and needed surgery, causing him to be in 501 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: crutches and enduring a year long recovery back to running, 502 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: let alone. 503 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,480 Speaker 4: Rugby and work. That's awful. I know it's horrible. 504 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 1: I have a very future and money focused mindset, but 505 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,119 Speaker 1: my boyfriend doesn't seem to have the same drive with 506 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 1: savings and always has an excuse to why he can't. 507 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,720 Speaker 1: I've gotten different opinions from friends, some saying it's a 508 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: deal break, others saying that I just need to focus 509 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: on me during this weird twenty stage. I just get 510 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: anxiety that even though I love him, he won't be 511 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,879 Speaker 1: able to meet me where I want to be in 512 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 1: the future example. 513 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 4: Buying a house or traveling. 514 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,359 Speaker 1: Love your advice on what I should do, how to 515 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 1: approach it, and where this leads a relationship. Love you girls, 516 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: love you too, Yeah, I love you. 517 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 4: My first thought is. 518 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: You are still so young, and I just don't want 519 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,880 Speaker 1: you to put so much pressure on yourself. I think 520 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 1: it's really really amazing to be where you're at and 521 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: have a goal and have a saving skull and like 522 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 1: you're fucking kicking us in that, and I'm so proud 523 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:36,439 Speaker 1: of you for doing that, But there is so so 524 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: much more time to figure out where you want to 525 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,160 Speaker 1: be or buying a house, and like, I don't want 526 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 1: to take away from that being a goal if that's 527 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,239 Speaker 1: something that you want now either. But I think I 528 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 1: just I feel this pressure that you're putting on yourself 529 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: through that message, and I just want you even today 530 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: to just like take a little bit of that off, 531 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,960 Speaker 1: like even right now, like if you're stressed about something, 532 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 1: anyone listening to this, take a little bit of pressure 533 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: off yourself to also. 534 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 4: Know all the answers. 535 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 1: I think your boyfriend is going through a bit of 536 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: a heartbreak right now. He had a vision of what 537 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 1: he wanted his life to be, and very very quickly 538 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: that got taken away from him, and he's then you know, 539 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 1: he's in crutches, he's in physical pain, and he's probably 540 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 1: also a mental pain, and he's probably also a bit 541 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:36,880 Speaker 1: scared because he was pursuing something and then something out 542 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 1: of his control has happened and he probably isn't quite 543 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: sure what to do and then having questions, which is 544 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 1: not your fault. It is so okay to have questions, 545 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,439 Speaker 1: but having questions like well are you saving? 546 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 4: What are you going to do? He's got no fucking clue. Yeah, 547 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,680 Speaker 4: he's probably. 548 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:55,120 Speaker 1: Really scared of that, and I think it's really amazing 549 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 1: that he's got someone like you to help him through that. 550 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 1: But I think we can like lift a little bit 551 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 1: of that at the moment and just like exist. Yeah, 552 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,639 Speaker 1: it takes some of the pressure for yourself but also 553 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 1: for him as well. But I think your friend's advice 554 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,360 Speaker 1: of focus on yourself is a good piece. 555 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 4: That's a deal breaker. He's like, I. 556 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: Didn't know how to save when I was twenty. Yeah, 557 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:21,879 Speaker 1: And I do think that it is a skill that 558 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: most of us don't know, and a lot of us 559 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,719 Speaker 1: do learn in adulthood as we have to. And I 560 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: think that it is something that you could keep in 561 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 1: the back of your mind if it is something that 562 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,959 Speaker 1: you value in a romantic relationship, like somebody who is 563 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 1: future oriented and has you know, a similar money personality 564 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:42,359 Speaker 1: and values to you. 565 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,200 Speaker 4: I do think that's important. 566 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 1: But maybe, like you said, right now, take some of 567 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,159 Speaker 1: that pressure off both of you and give it a 568 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,680 Speaker 1: little bit of time, and then you could potentially bring 569 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,160 Speaker 1: up something that you two could put towards saving together, 570 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,920 Speaker 1: like if that is a holiday, or if you were 571 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 1: to move in together and be like, Okay, I've got 572 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:01,720 Speaker 1: an idea. 573 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 4: I'm thinking, let's go to blah blah together. 574 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: Let's have a goal of five thousand dollars each, so 575 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 1: that means every week we have to put away X 576 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: and kind of make it like a group project that 577 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,520 Speaker 1: you can help keep him accountable and see how. 578 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 4: He goes with that. 579 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,919 Speaker 1: But I think that's like a future thing that you 580 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 1: can do to maybe try and help him build that habit. 581 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, because okay, to have. 582 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,639 Speaker 1: Different money goals in a relationship. 583 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 4: I think it that is okay. 584 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: But I do think that if you're thinking, like when 585 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,400 Speaker 1: you get older and you're thinking like a future. 586 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 4: You want someone who can manage their money, I think that's. 587 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, again, you're going to get married or have 588 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,160 Speaker 1: a house together, because you know, when you get older 589 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 1: and you're making some of these money decisions, a lot 590 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 1: of the time you are making them with another person. 591 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 1: So it's good if you're on the same page and 592 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,439 Speaker 1: you're not always the one doing all of the heavy lifting. 593 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,040 Speaker 1: But you're right, you don't have to be exactly the same, 594 00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 1: but also again, like you're twenty, the money go. When 595 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,120 Speaker 1: I was twenty, I was just trying to not get 596 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,679 Speaker 1: to the end of the month with no money. 597 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was twenty. 598 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 1: I actually think it's so good that this is forefront 599 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,159 Speaker 1: and in the front of your mind, and it's really like, 600 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: I think you're amazing with your money at such a 601 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: young age, ten out of ten, but you're kind of 602 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 1: like ahead of the curve in my professional in my 603 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 1: poor professional opinion. Yeah, I think it's just take a 604 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 1: little bit of pressure off the situation and just keep 605 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,640 Speaker 1: an eye on it. Like if this starts really really 606 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:34,200 Speaker 1: draining you, and if you start being unhappy, that's when 607 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,879 Speaker 1: you know you need to maybe put that pressure a 608 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 1: little bit back on and really evaluate the situation. 609 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. 610 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 2: Are you doing great, sweetie? 611 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,800 Speaker 4: That's rap. Thanks very much for writing in Wrapt the 612 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 4: Lab show. 613 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 1: And also, if you want to send in a dilemma 614 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 1: to advice with the Chicks, we've got our Chicks Hotline. 615 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 1: We put the details in the show notes, so send 616 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 1: them in, send us a text message or a voice note, 617 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,920 Speaker 1: and we may answer it on the show. And for 618 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 1: the rest of you chicks, thanks for having us in 619 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: the ear holes. We'd love to be here, and thank 620 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 1: you to m I K Made for making today's episode happened. 621 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:16,280 Speaker 4: I love you chicks. Bye.