WEBVTT - I drink because I have children!

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<v Speaker 1>Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode of am I

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<v Speaker 1>A Bad Mom? Podcast? We asked the question three times

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<v Speaker 1>a week. Am I a bad mom? Sometimes?

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<v Speaker 2>We are?

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes we're not.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes could we weigh that up in like a percentage? Sometimes,

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<v Speaker 2>like give me a percentage of your am I A

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<v Speaker 2>bad mom? To am I A good mom? Kind of

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<v Speaker 2>week that you've had.

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<v Speaker 1>Seventy thirty Yeah, seventy bad.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah, I was so in the positive then I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>seventy good, erny bad.

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<v Speaker 1>I can see how that worked just quickly, just before

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<v Speaker 1>we get to be even worse parents, because coming up

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<v Speaker 1>to school holidays, just to let you know, we are

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<v Speaker 1>taking a two week break off of am I A

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<v Speaker 1>Bad Mom? Don't worry we'll be bad moms? Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>No, the notes between the two of us that we

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<v Speaker 2>share over am I A Bad Mum? It actually just

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<v Speaker 2>launches into the next level of categories because it's school holidays.

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<v Speaker 2>You're off though your holidaying like parenting. Last holidaying is

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<v Speaker 2>like one of the best things ever.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, and no one ever I did a holiday.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean we're spending a lot of money and we're

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<v Speaker 1>going overseas and we'll be flying on an aeroplane. But

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<v Speaker 1>we've got our kids with us.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but the kids are still going to be on

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<v Speaker 2>the other side of the world saying the same thing

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<v Speaker 2>that they're bored.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know what my kids are most excited about

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<v Speaker 1>for this holiday? So we're going over to Hawaii, Hawaii. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and out of everything that we have got planned, so

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<v Speaker 1>surf lessons, snorkeling, turtles, all that kind of stuffy snorkeling

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<v Speaker 1>for turtles, they're most excited about going to the grocery

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<v Speaker 1>shop so that they can dock up on the snacks

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<v Speaker 1>that they see on TikTok.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, I could order that line. I could have saved

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<v Speaker 1>myself thousands and just ordered that online.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you reckon? That was like a definitive choice part

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<v Speaker 2>of your decision making of like going this is where

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<v Speaker 2>we're going to go on holidays Hawaii. Why the kids

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<v Speaker 2>love the snacks from TikTok? Absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 1>Why you can't afford those snacks? They're so expensive and

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<v Speaker 1>then you're going to pay twenty percent bloody tipping. Am

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<v Speaker 1>I a bad mum for drinking alcohol in front of

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<v Speaker 1>my kids? I feel like this is a cot topic,

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<v Speaker 1>especially with my kids. Do you know what I've come

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<v Speaker 1>to the realization of is that kids are getting too

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<v Speaker 1>much education on the dangers of alcohol. They're going to

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<v Speaker 1>school and they're doing HPE and they're learning about alcohol

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<v Speaker 1>and it's all bad. Obviously that's important.

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<v Speaker 2>It's all bad.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's all bad. So they literally look at us

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<v Speaker 1>when we're having a glass of wine, like, which, you're

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<v Speaker 1>the worst people in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah you are, yeah, because you're having a wine.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think they don't like the smell of it.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's one thing. And you know, I get that,

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<v Speaker 1>like when your kids red wine smells disgusting. I understand that.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I feel shamed. I feel shamed by that.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a safe space, Katie. You can open up

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<v Speaker 2>about how you feel as a mom, how do you feel?

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<v Speaker 2>But as a human being? How does it feel you shamed?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm getting shamed if I ever have a like and

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of when I'm there with Jay, I'm like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>well it's half his problem too now because he's all

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<v Speaker 1>the drinking wine. I have definitely been known to have

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<v Speaker 1>a wine on my own and when my kids come

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<v Speaker 1>down the bottles down the side of the lounce, it's

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<v Speaker 1>like when remember they had that birthday sleepover, and everyone

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<v Speaker 1>kept saying, Oh, what are you gonna do Saturday night?

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<v Speaker 1>You're not gonna have a drink because you got other

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<v Speaker 1>people's kids there. And I was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 1>And then someone said to me, just put your wine

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<v Speaker 1>in a mug and pretend it's tea.

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<v Speaker 2>See, no one will even know. Do you start to

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<v Speaker 2>get the red wine sort of grin going on, They

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<v Speaker 2>won't have a clue what you're doing. Yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 2>it's a shaming part. I think it's the part where

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<v Speaker 2>you start to second guess what you're doing. Yeah, because

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<v Speaker 2>that person, the small person, is questioning what you're doing

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<v Speaker 2>in your behavior. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually, just on that birthday party, do you remember what

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<v Speaker 1>we ended up doing. I was like, we sat in

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<v Speaker 1>the front garden. We didn't know where to go because

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<v Speaker 1>there were kids everywhere, and they were downstairs and they

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<v Speaker 1>were in the kitchen, and then they were sleeping downstairs.

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<v Speaker 1>We sat in the front garden. We took two dining

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<v Speaker 1>room tens ounds out on the grass, remember, and we

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<v Speaker 1>were having a few wines and we were laughing at ourselves.

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<v Speaker 1>You know the situation of us being outside in the

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<v Speaker 1>front garden with the cat because the cat is not

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<v Speaker 1>an outdoor cat, and so the kids kept opening up

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<v Speaker 1>the back doors and the cat would run out, and

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<v Speaker 1>we were worried it would escape. So we had the cat.

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<v Speaker 1>Picture of the scene, Jay and I dining room chairs

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<v Speaker 1>in the front garden, mugs, wine and a mug, and

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<v Speaker 1>the cow and the lead. Thank god, none of those

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<v Speaker 1>parents came to pick their kids.

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<v Speaker 2>No, this is why it worked. But then if we

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<v Speaker 2>rewind a few more years on a few of your holidays,

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<v Speaker 2>remember like some of your holidays pre that where you

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<v Speaker 2>and Jay would laugh because you would want to have

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<v Speaker 2>a wine but you couldn't have a wine in the

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<v Speaker 2>room that you were sharing with your children to sleep

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<v Speaker 2>and they were going to So then you'd lock yourself

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<v Speaker 2>in the bathroom and sit in the bathtub, yes not

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<v Speaker 2>with water, bathtub with your sort of legs kicked over,

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<v Speaker 2>just having a wine in there because you're trying to

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<v Speaker 2>let your kids sleep in a hotel room that you're sharing. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>Or you'd sit in the hallway outside the door.

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<v Speaker 1>What are we doing?

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<v Speaker 2>Desperado times for wine? I tell you, thanke you do this.

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<v Speaker 1>This particular time, we ended up having a really big

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<v Speaker 1>argument with the girls because they came down. It was

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<v Speaker 1>an argument over and this is constant argument in my

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<v Speaker 1>house over us telling them to bring their screens down

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<v Speaker 1>at a certain time in the evening. So it's an

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<v Speaker 1>hour later on the weekends, but on the weekdays it's

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<v Speaker 1>nine o'clock. Bring your screens down, because I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>them sitting upstairs scrolling the night away. Come down. They

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<v Speaker 1>go on charge downstairs, and then that's it. Like if

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<v Speaker 1>you are not tired and you want to read a book, fine,

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<v Speaker 1>you need to go back up there, and you're not

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<v Speaker 1>taking any screens with you. So it was another one

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<v Speaker 1>of these arguments. It's like this rule has been for years,

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<v Speaker 1>and every night it's like it's the first time we've

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<v Speaker 1>introduced the rule again. I'm like, no, it's just it's

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<v Speaker 1>still we're still doing.

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<v Speaker 2>It Tuesday, today, still happening Monday.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, same same as yesterday, same as you know three

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<v Speaker 1>years ago, and tomorrow will be the same. And so

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<v Speaker 1>they've come down. We've started off this argument, no, none

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<v Speaker 1>of our friends have to bring their screens. Oun blah blah,

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<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah. It goes on and on and on,

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<v Speaker 1>and then they look at us and they're so angry

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<v Speaker 1>at the response of every night, just go away, off

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<v Speaker 1>you go to bed. Holly turns around and she goes

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<v Speaker 1>and look at you both just sitting there drinking your

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<v Speaker 1>lives away. I was like, excuse me. And then in

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<v Speaker 1>that moment, because we do that in the moment, right

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<v Speaker 1>if we don't do the ninety second rule where we

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<v Speaker 1>sit and think about a proper adult thing that we

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<v Speaker 1>can come back with, I snapped back with, I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>drink before I had kids. We drink wine because of you.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just telling you, she's nearly sixteen. It is a

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<v Speaker 2>waiting game, my friend, because when the time will come,

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<v Speaker 2>if it's six months, two years, the time will come

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<v Speaker 2>where she will come home and she will be intoxicated,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're going to sit there, what are you going

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<v Speaker 2>to do? Drink your life away?

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<v Speaker 1>What are you going to do? You're gonna remember what

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<v Speaker 1>she said, I'm going to do any sane adult, sane,

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<v Speaker 1>stable adult would say, and I'm going to and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>writing it in my notes so I don't forget. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to turn around to her and go, look at

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<v Speaker 1>you just drinking your life away.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you one hundred percent. But if it makes

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<v Speaker 2>you feel better. I got shamed on the weekend by

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<v Speaker 2>my child too, and she's only nine. At least yours

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<v Speaker 2>is like closer age of the waiting game. Mine is nine.

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<v Speaker 2>She was fully shaming me. I'd had probably three champagnes

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<v Speaker 2>and we were at a birthday celebration. I wasn't the

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<v Speaker 2>rightiest one there. It was his seventieth birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>What was interesting, though, because last time he told me

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<v Speaker 1>that story, it was too champagne. Now it's three. Now

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<v Speaker 1>we literally like two or three maybe four.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I wasn't intoxicated and the sun was still up,

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<v Speaker 2>so it's fine. I can't say much about nine pm

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<v Speaker 2>because I was like the life of the party. But

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<v Speaker 2>she was just looking at me. She goes, oh, I

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<v Speaker 2>can smell it, and she was just disgusted. And I

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<v Speaker 2>looked at her and I said, I'm absolutely fine. I

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<v Speaker 2>am good, Thank you, nine year old child.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder where it comes from like that, because I've

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<v Speaker 1>heard it a lot from other friends as well, about

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<v Speaker 1>their kids hating when they have a drink, and I

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<v Speaker 1>think the smell probably is one thing. Do you know

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<v Speaker 1>what comes into mind when I think about why my

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<v Speaker 1>kids might hate alcohol? Remember the time that we had

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<v Speaker 1>a barbecue, we had friends over. It was kind of

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<v Speaker 1>afternoon drinks. There's quite a lot of bottles of wine

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<v Speaker 1>being opened and finished. And when we were eating dinner,

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<v Speaker 1>Holly's tooth came out. Maybe she lost her truth tooth.

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<v Speaker 1>We'd got to the point in the evening where I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, oh goodness, like we need to not forget this.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, make sure you put your tooth under your

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<v Speaker 1>pillow so the tooth fairy can come in the morning. Honestly, Rachel,

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<v Speaker 1>I woke up that next morning, I can hear her

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<v Speaker 1>running down the hallway and I went, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, to fairy did she come. Ollie comes

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<v Speaker 1>into the room and she goes, Mom, she didn't, tooth

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<v Speaker 1>fairy calm she said, yeah she did. She left two

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<v Speaker 1>dollars and a no, but she forgot to take the tooth.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like, oh, she's got one job at tooth Fairies.

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<v Speaker 1>You got one job, one job.

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<v Speaker 2>You're lucky that she left.

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<v Speaker 1>You're lucky she came because it was a windy old

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<v Speaker 1>night last night. Lucky she came.