1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:25,081 Speaker 1: Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode of am I 2 00:00:25,281 --> 00:00:28,401 Speaker 1: A Bad Mom? Podcast? We asked the question three times 3 00:00:28,481 --> 00:00:30,161 Speaker 1: a week. Am I a bad mom? Sometimes? 4 00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:30,481 Speaker 2: We are? 5 00:00:30,561 --> 00:00:31,361 Speaker 1: Sometimes we're not. 6 00:00:31,801 --> 00:00:36,361 Speaker 2: Sometimes could we weigh that up in like a percentage? Sometimes, 7 00:00:36,921 --> 00:00:39,001 Speaker 2: like give me a percentage of your am I A 8 00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 2: bad mom? To am I A good mom? Kind of 9 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:41,880 Speaker 2: week that you've had. 10 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,881 Speaker 1: Seventy thirty Yeah, seventy bad. 11 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:50,001 Speaker 2: Ah, I was so in the positive then I was like, 12 00:00:50,161 --> 00:00:51,761 Speaker 2: seventy good, erny bad. 13 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,841 Speaker 1: I can see how that worked just quickly, just before 14 00:00:54,881 --> 00:00:57,001 Speaker 1: we get to be even worse parents, because coming up 15 00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:59,401 Speaker 1: to school holidays, just to let you know, we are 16 00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:02,161 Speaker 1: taking a two week break off of am I A 17 00:01:02,161 --> 00:01:05,321 Speaker 1: Bad Mom? Don't worry we'll be bad moms? Yeah. 18 00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 2: No, the notes between the two of us that we 19 00:01:10,121 --> 00:01:12,841 Speaker 2: share over am I A Bad Mum? It actually just 20 00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:16,761 Speaker 2: launches into the next level of categories because it's school holidays. 21 00:01:17,521 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 2: You're off though your holidaying like parenting. Last holidaying is 22 00:01:22,481 --> 00:01:24,321 Speaker 2: like one of the best things ever. 23 00:01:24,721 --> 00:01:27,041 Speaker 1: Yes, and no one ever I did a holiday. 24 00:01:27,161 --> 00:01:27,401 Speaker 2: Yeah. 25 00:01:27,481 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: I mean we're spending a lot of money and we're 26 00:01:29,041 --> 00:01:31,401 Speaker 1: going overseas and we'll be flying on an aeroplane. But 27 00:01:31,481 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: we've got our kids with us. 28 00:01:32,961 --> 00:01:34,761 Speaker 2: Yeah, but the kids are still going to be on 29 00:01:34,801 --> 00:01:37,001 Speaker 2: the other side of the world saying the same thing 30 00:01:37,041 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 2: that they're bored. 31 00:01:38,801 --> 00:01:41,161 Speaker 1: Do you know what my kids are most excited about 32 00:01:41,161 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: for this holiday? So we're going over to Hawaii, Hawaii. Yeah, 33 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,841 Speaker 1: and out of everything that we have got planned, so 34 00:01:50,121 --> 00:01:55,841 Speaker 1: surf lessons, snorkeling, turtles, all that kind of stuffy snorkeling 35 00:01:55,881 --> 00:02:03,001 Speaker 1: for turtles, they're most excited about going to the grocery 36 00:02:03,281 --> 00:02:06,201 Speaker 1: shop so that they can dock up on the snacks 37 00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:07,281 Speaker 1: that they see on TikTok. 38 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:08,081 Speaker 2: Oh. 39 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:11,121 Speaker 1: Wow, I could order that line. I could have saved 40 00:02:11,121 --> 00:02:13,881 Speaker 1: myself thousands and just ordered that online. 41 00:02:14,721 --> 00:02:17,881 Speaker 2: Do you reckon? That was like a definitive choice part 42 00:02:18,081 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 2: of your decision making of like going this is where 43 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:25,881 Speaker 2: we're going to go on holidays Hawaii. Why the kids 44 00:02:26,081 --> 00:02:29,681 Speaker 2: love the snacks from TikTok? Absolutely not. 45 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,761 Speaker 1: Why you can't afford those snacks? They're so expensive and 46 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: then you're going to pay twenty percent bloody tipping. Am 47 00:02:45,841 --> 00:02:49,761 Speaker 1: I a bad mum for drinking alcohol in front of 48 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:54,841 Speaker 1: my kids? I feel like this is a cot topic, 49 00:02:55,201 --> 00:02:57,641 Speaker 1: especially with my kids. Do you know what I've come 50 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,161 Speaker 1: to the realization of is that kids are getting too 51 00:03:01,201 --> 00:03:05,641 Speaker 1: much education on the dangers of alcohol. They're going to 52 00:03:05,721 --> 00:03:09,081 Speaker 1: school and they're doing HPE and they're learning about alcohol 53 00:03:09,121 --> 00:03:13,081 Speaker 1: and it's all bad. Obviously that's important. 54 00:03:13,201 --> 00:03:14,001 Speaker 2: It's all bad. 55 00:03:14,201 --> 00:03:17,641 Speaker 1: But it's all bad. So they literally look at us 56 00:03:18,121 --> 00:03:21,761 Speaker 1: when we're having a glass of wine, like, which, you're 57 00:03:21,761 --> 00:03:23,361 Speaker 1: the worst people in the world. 58 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 2: Yeah you are, yeah, because you're having a wine. 59 00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:27,681 Speaker 1: And I think they don't like the smell of it. 60 00:03:27,761 --> 00:03:30,321 Speaker 1: I think that's one thing. And you know, I get that, 61 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:34,481 Speaker 1: like when your kids red wine smells disgusting. I understand that. 62 00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:38,761 Speaker 1: Like I feel shamed. I feel shamed by that. 63 00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:41,161 Speaker 2: This is a safe space, Katie. You can open up 64 00:03:41,201 --> 00:03:45,121 Speaker 2: about how you feel as a mom, how do you feel? 65 00:03:45,161 --> 00:03:48,721 Speaker 2: But as a human being? How does it feel you shamed? 66 00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:53,041 Speaker 1: I'm getting shamed if I ever have a like and 67 00:03:53,081 --> 00:03:55,481 Speaker 1: I kind of when I'm there with Jay, I'm like, okay, 68 00:03:55,521 --> 00:03:58,321 Speaker 1: well it's half his problem too now because he's all 69 00:03:58,441 --> 00:04:02,521 Speaker 1: the drinking wine. I have definitely been known to have 70 00:04:02,601 --> 00:04:04,521 Speaker 1: a wine on my own and when my kids come 71 00:04:04,601 --> 00:04:10,001 Speaker 1: down the bottles down the side of the lounce, it's 72 00:04:10,081 --> 00:04:14,321 Speaker 1: like when remember they had that birthday sleepover, and everyone 73 00:04:14,401 --> 00:04:16,481 Speaker 1: kept saying, Oh, what are you gonna do Saturday night? 74 00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:18,321 Speaker 1: You're not gonna have a drink because you got other 75 00:04:18,361 --> 00:04:21,041 Speaker 1: people's kids there. And I was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't. 76 00:04:21,241 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: And then someone said to me, just put your wine 77 00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: in a mug and pretend it's tea. 78 00:04:27,961 --> 00:04:30,721 Speaker 2: See, no one will even know. Do you start to 79 00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:33,681 Speaker 2: get the red wine sort of grin going on, They 80 00:04:33,681 --> 00:04:35,721 Speaker 2: won't have a clue what you're doing. Yeah, I think 81 00:04:35,761 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 2: it's a shaming part. I think it's the part where 82 00:04:38,281 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 2: you start to second guess what you're doing. Yeah, because 83 00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:45,961 Speaker 2: that person, the small person, is questioning what you're doing 84 00:04:45,961 --> 00:04:47,241 Speaker 2: in your behavior. Yeah. 85 00:04:47,481 --> 00:04:50,121 Speaker 1: Actually, just on that birthday party, do you remember what 86 00:04:50,161 --> 00:04:52,241 Speaker 1: we ended up doing. I was like, we sat in 87 00:04:52,281 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 1: the front garden. We didn't know where to go because 88 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,681 Speaker 1: there were kids everywhere, and they were downstairs and they 89 00:04:57,681 --> 00:05:00,321 Speaker 1: were in the kitchen, and then they were sleeping downstairs. 90 00:05:00,721 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: We sat in the front garden. We took two dining 91 00:05:03,601 --> 00:05:07,521 Speaker 1: room tens ounds out on the grass, remember, and we 92 00:05:07,521 --> 00:05:10,201 Speaker 1: were having a few wines and we were laughing at ourselves. 93 00:05:10,281 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: You know the situation of us being outside in the 94 00:05:13,361 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: front garden with the cat because the cat is not 95 00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:23,721 Speaker 1: an outdoor cat, and so the kids kept opening up 96 00:05:23,761 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: the back doors and the cat would run out, and 97 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,641 Speaker 1: we were worried it would escape. So we had the cat. 98 00:05:29,041 --> 00:05:32,681 Speaker 1: Picture of the scene, Jay and I dining room chairs 99 00:05:33,161 --> 00:05:38,121 Speaker 1: in the front garden, mugs, wine and a mug, and 100 00:05:38,161 --> 00:05:42,681 Speaker 1: the cow and the lead. Thank god, none of those 101 00:05:42,681 --> 00:05:44,121 Speaker 1: parents came to pick their kids. 102 00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 2: No, this is why it worked. But then if we 103 00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:51,281 Speaker 2: rewind a few more years on a few of your holidays, 104 00:05:51,401 --> 00:05:55,361 Speaker 2: remember like some of your holidays pre that where you 105 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 2: and Jay would laugh because you would want to have 106 00:05:58,121 --> 00:06:00,561 Speaker 2: a wine but you couldn't have a wine in the 107 00:06:00,681 --> 00:06:04,121 Speaker 2: room that you were sharing with your children to sleep 108 00:06:04,201 --> 00:06:06,481 Speaker 2: and they were going to So then you'd lock yourself 109 00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:09,561 Speaker 2: in the bathroom and sit in the bathtub, yes not 110 00:06:09,681 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 2: with water, bathtub with your sort of legs kicked over, 111 00:06:13,561 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 2: just having a wine in there because you're trying to 112 00:06:15,401 --> 00:06:19,601 Speaker 2: let your kids sleep in a hotel room that you're sharing. Yeah, 113 00:06:19,841 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 2: Or you'd sit in the hallway outside the door. 114 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,161 Speaker 1: What are we doing? 115 00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:29,161 Speaker 2: Desperado times for wine? I tell you, thanke you do this. 116 00:06:29,161 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: This particular time, we ended up having a really big 117 00:06:31,841 --> 00:06:33,801 Speaker 1: argument with the girls because they came down. It was 118 00:06:33,841 --> 00:06:36,681 Speaker 1: an argument over and this is constant argument in my 119 00:06:36,801 --> 00:06:39,761 Speaker 1: house over us telling them to bring their screens down 120 00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: at a certain time in the evening. So it's an 121 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:44,761 Speaker 1: hour later on the weekends, but on the weekdays it's 122 00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:47,441 Speaker 1: nine o'clock. Bring your screens down, because I don't want 123 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,761 Speaker 1: them sitting upstairs scrolling the night away. Come down. They 124 00:06:51,801 --> 00:06:54,681 Speaker 1: go on charge downstairs, and then that's it. Like if 125 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,321 Speaker 1: you are not tired and you want to read a book, fine, 126 00:06:57,801 --> 00:06:59,161 Speaker 1: you need to go back up there, and you're not 127 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,161 Speaker 1: taking any screens with you. So it was another one 128 00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: of these arguments. It's like this rule has been for years, 129 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: and every night it's like it's the first time we've 130 00:07:07,081 --> 00:07:09,881 Speaker 1: introduced the rule again. I'm like, no, it's just it's 131 00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,361 Speaker 1: still we're still doing. 132 00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:13,801 Speaker 2: It Tuesday, today, still happening Monday. 133 00:07:14,121 --> 00:07:17,041 Speaker 1: Yeah, same same as yesterday, same as you know three 134 00:07:17,081 --> 00:07:20,601 Speaker 1: years ago, and tomorrow will be the same. And so 135 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,321 Speaker 1: they've come down. We've started off this argument, no, none 136 00:07:23,361 --> 00:07:25,961 Speaker 1: of our friends have to bring their screens. Oun blah blah, 137 00:07:25,961 --> 00:07:29,081 Speaker 1: blah blah blah. It goes on and on and on, 138 00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:32,361 Speaker 1: and then they look at us and they're so angry 139 00:07:32,441 --> 00:07:36,081 Speaker 1: at the response of every night, just go away, off 140 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:39,281 Speaker 1: you go to bed. Holly turns around and she goes 141 00:07:40,161 --> 00:07:43,561 Speaker 1: and look at you both just sitting there drinking your 142 00:07:43,641 --> 00:07:48,281 Speaker 1: lives away. I was like, excuse me. And then in 143 00:07:48,281 --> 00:07:50,361 Speaker 1: that moment, because we do that in the moment, right 144 00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:52,561 Speaker 1: if we don't do the ninety second rule where we 145 00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:55,561 Speaker 1: sit and think about a proper adult thing that we 146 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:59,361 Speaker 1: can come back with, I snapped back with, I didn't 147 00:07:59,401 --> 00:08:02,161 Speaker 1: drink before I had kids. We drink wine because of you. 148 00:08:04,281 --> 00:08:08,041 Speaker 2: I'm just telling you, she's nearly sixteen. It is a 149 00:08:08,081 --> 00:08:11,361 Speaker 2: waiting game, my friend, because when the time will come, 150 00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:14,961 Speaker 2: if it's six months, two years, the time will come 151 00:08:15,121 --> 00:08:19,041 Speaker 2: where she will come home and she will be intoxicated, 152 00:08:19,521 --> 00:08:20,721 Speaker 2: and you're going to sit there, what are you going 153 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,481 Speaker 2: to do? Drink your life away? 154 00:08:22,881 --> 00:08:24,441 Speaker 1: What are you going to do? You're gonna remember what 155 00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:30,961 Speaker 1: she said, I'm going to do any sane adult, sane, 156 00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:33,601 Speaker 1: stable adult would say, and I'm going to and I'm 157 00:08:33,641 --> 00:08:36,001 Speaker 1: writing it in my notes so I don't forget. I'm 158 00:08:36,041 --> 00:08:37,881 Speaker 1: going to turn around to her and go, look at 159 00:08:37,921 --> 00:08:41,321 Speaker 1: you just drinking your life away. 160 00:08:42,401 --> 00:08:45,201 Speaker 2: I'm telling you one hundred percent. But if it makes 161 00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:47,401 Speaker 2: you feel better. I got shamed on the weekend by 162 00:08:47,441 --> 00:08:50,561 Speaker 2: my child too, and she's only nine. At least yours 163 00:08:50,641 --> 00:08:54,201 Speaker 2: is like closer age of the waiting game. Mine is nine. 164 00:08:54,521 --> 00:08:58,201 Speaker 2: She was fully shaming me. I'd had probably three champagnes 165 00:08:58,481 --> 00:09:01,361 Speaker 2: and we were at a birthday celebration. I wasn't the 166 00:09:01,481 --> 00:09:04,201 Speaker 2: rightiest one there. It was his seventieth birthday. 167 00:09:04,281 --> 00:09:06,401 Speaker 1: What was interesting, though, because last time he told me 168 00:09:06,441 --> 00:09:09,881 Speaker 1: that story, it was too champagne. Now it's three. Now 169 00:09:09,881 --> 00:09:13,161 Speaker 1: we literally like two or three maybe four. 170 00:09:13,521 --> 00:09:16,401 Speaker 2: No, I wasn't intoxicated and the sun was still up, 171 00:09:16,441 --> 00:09:21,121 Speaker 2: so it's fine. I can't say much about nine pm 172 00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:24,441 Speaker 2: because I was like the life of the party. But 173 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:26,641 Speaker 2: she was just looking at me. She goes, oh, I 174 00:09:26,681 --> 00:09:29,841 Speaker 2: can smell it, and she was just disgusted. And I 175 00:09:29,841 --> 00:09:32,961 Speaker 2: looked at her and I said, I'm absolutely fine. I 176 00:09:33,041 --> 00:09:35,801 Speaker 2: am good, Thank you, nine year old child. 177 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:38,201 Speaker 1: I wonder where it comes from like that, because I've 178 00:09:38,241 --> 00:09:40,601 Speaker 1: heard it a lot from other friends as well, about 179 00:09:40,601 --> 00:09:42,721 Speaker 1: their kids hating when they have a drink, and I 180 00:09:42,721 --> 00:09:45,161 Speaker 1: think the smell probably is one thing. Do you know 181 00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:47,361 Speaker 1: what comes into mind when I think about why my 182 00:09:47,481 --> 00:09:51,441 Speaker 1: kids might hate alcohol? Remember the time that we had 183 00:09:51,481 --> 00:09:53,681 Speaker 1: a barbecue, we had friends over. It was kind of 184 00:09:54,081 --> 00:09:57,121 Speaker 1: afternoon drinks. There's quite a lot of bottles of wine 185 00:09:57,161 --> 00:10:01,321 Speaker 1: being opened and finished. And when we were eating dinner, 186 00:10:01,881 --> 00:10:05,001 Speaker 1: Holly's tooth came out. Maybe she lost her truth tooth. 187 00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:06,961 Speaker 1: We'd got to the point in the evening where I 188 00:10:07,121 --> 00:10:09,801 Speaker 1: was like, oh goodness, like we need to not forget this. 189 00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:12,801 Speaker 1: I said, make sure you put your tooth under your 190 00:10:12,841 --> 00:10:16,641 Speaker 1: pillow so the tooth fairy can come in the morning. Honestly, Rachel, 191 00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:19,081 Speaker 1: I woke up that next morning, I can hear her 192 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:22,161 Speaker 1: running down the hallway and I went, oh my god, 193 00:10:22,281 --> 00:10:27,641 Speaker 1: Oh my god, to fairy did she come. Ollie comes 194 00:10:27,681 --> 00:10:30,041 Speaker 1: into the room and she goes, Mom, she didn't, tooth 195 00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:33,561 Speaker 1: fairy calm she said, yeah she did. She left two 196 00:10:33,561 --> 00:10:36,441 Speaker 1: dollars and a no, but she forgot to take the tooth. 197 00:10:37,121 --> 00:10:41,481 Speaker 1: It was like, oh, she's got one job at tooth Fairies. 198 00:10:41,521 --> 00:10:42,881 Speaker 1: You got one job, one job. 199 00:10:43,121 --> 00:10:44,081 Speaker 2: You're lucky that she left. 200 00:10:44,201 --> 00:10:47,681 Speaker 1: You're lucky she came because it was a windy old 201 00:10:47,801 --> 00:10:50,161 Speaker 1: night last night. Lucky she came.