1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: We'd like to acknowledge that traditional custodians of the land 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: on which this podcast was produced the Galligall people of 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 1: the Urination. We pay our respects to Elda's past and present. 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 2: We're in London at the twenty twelve Paralympic Games and 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,479 Speaker 2: swimmer Ellie Cole is telling herself she'll only go home 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 2: a gold medalist. She's focused, determined and ambitious. Not only 7 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 2: will she win gold, she'll do it four times over. 8 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 2: Ellie Cole another gold medal four years later. She's tipped 9 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,919 Speaker 2: to be a hot favorite to win another gold at 10 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 2: the Rio twenty sixteen Paraalympic Games. The pressure is on 11 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 2: Ellie Cole absolutely phenomenal, but Ellie rises to the occasion again, 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:51,639 Speaker 2: winning medals in all six of her events and smashes. 13 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 2: This focus and determination has been with Ellie her whole life. 14 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 2: At just three years old, she lost her right leg 15 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 2: to a rare cancer. Eight weeks later, her mother took 16 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 2: her down to the pool as part of her rehabilitation. 17 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 2: Instructors thought it would take her a year to swim 18 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 2: in a straight line. It took her just two weeks. 19 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 2: I'm at Middleton and this is head game today inside 20 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 2: the mindset of Australia's most decorated female Paralympic athlete, Ellie Cole. 21 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,400 Speaker 2: Thank you ever so much for coming on my podcast 22 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:40,479 Speaker 2: head Game. You've got seventeen seventeen medals, is that correct? 23 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 2: I have I missed any ow you've got. I'm surprised 24 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 2: you're not wearing them. If that was me, I'll be 25 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 2: wearing them. But I suppose it'd weigh you down. But 26 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 2: before we get into the medals and your amazing accomplishments, 27 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 2: it wasn't always an easy journey for you. Quite a 28 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 2: hard question, I suppose for yourself, what is your earliest 29 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 2: memory as a child. 30 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,359 Speaker 3: I would say I have this one memory of a 31 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 3: child of waking up in my cot actually and I 32 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 3: was crying, and I think, on reflecting it was probably 33 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 3: to do with the pain in my right leg from 34 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 3: my tumor that I was diagnosed with a few months later. 35 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 4: But my earliest memory after that was actually in. 36 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 3: The rehabilitation ward after I'd just lost my leg and 37 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 3: I was learning how to walk again, and there was 38 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 3: this giant teddy bear at the end of the hallway 39 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 3: and I was always trying. 40 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 4: To walk towards this huge teddy Bear. 41 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 3: I went back a few years ago, and that giant 42 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 3: teddy bear is actually not that giant at all. 43 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 4: It's quite a standard sized one. 44 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 3: But because I was so small in the grand scheme 45 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 3: of things, it seemed huge to me. So I think 46 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 3: that's a nice memory to have because it just reminds 47 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 3: me of how small I once was. 48 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 2: Wow, that's fascinating. So you're actual first memory is of 49 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 2: pain of waking up because at the age of three, 50 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 2: you had a rare cancer and you had your leg amputated. 51 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 2: What type of cancer was it, if you don't mind 52 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 2: me asking? Also, it was. 53 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 3: A neurosacoma, so it would describe the pain because it 54 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 3: was a cancer that was wrapped around the sciatic nerve 55 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 3: in my leg. And I think anybody that has had 56 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 3: ssiatica would know how uncomfortable that is. I've had nerve 57 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 3: damage in my leg before once when I break my 58 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 3: hip a few years ago, and nerve pain is excruciating. 59 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 3: So to have a cancer that is intertwined around a nerve, I'm. 60 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 4: Sure would have caused me quite a bit of pain. 61 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 3: I'm thankful that I don't have too many memories of 62 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 3: that time, but I have been told by my parents 63 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 3: that I was waking up. I was a very unsettled baby, 64 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 3: and I think that is a pretty just explanation. But yeah, 65 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 3: it was a nerve cancer, which is quite rare. 66 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,120 Speaker 2: Wow, how did your parents identify that the tumor? 67 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 3: There are a few indicators when I was young that 68 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 3: something wasn't quite right. So the first one was I 69 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 3: was unsettled. The second was I have a twin sister 70 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 3: and she was much more developmentally advanced with her walking 71 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 3: than I was, so she was walking a lot sooner, 72 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 3: and I was scooting around behind her on my bottom 73 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 3: trying to keep up. And then the third indicator was 74 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 3: my right leg was actually growing at a slower rate 75 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 3: to my left because of the limited blood supply. And 76 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 3: then the last indicator was the tumor presenting itself. Now, 77 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 3: by the time the tumor had presented itself, I was 78 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 3: about two and a half years old, and the doctors 79 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 3: believe that I was actually born with this cancer, but 80 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,720 Speaker 3: it wasn't physically presenting as a tumor until about two 81 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 3: and a half. 82 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 2: And when you went to the hospital it was identified 83 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,159 Speaker 2: straight away. And what was the decision made straight away 84 00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 2: to amphisate your leg. How was the decision made, and 85 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 2: ultimately it was down to your parents to make it right. 86 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 3: It was so amputation is quite a drastic decision to make, 87 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 3: and it's usually at a last resort. Back in nineteen 88 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 3: ninety four, when my leg was amputated, the prosthetics aren't 89 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 3: as advanced as they are now, and so the amputation 90 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 3: back then it really did limit your movement because the 91 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 3: prosthetics available were also quite limited. So the decision to 92 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 3: amputate my leg was made. About a year after my diagnosis, 93 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 3: I underwent chemotherapy to try and treat the tumor and 94 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 3: it wasn't working. In fact, it was attacking all of 95 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 3: my white blood cells more than it was the cancer cells, 96 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: and so chemotherapy became too dangerous. They took a biopsy 97 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 3: of the tumor and tried to take it all out, 98 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 3: but it was just growing back and so nothing was effectively. 99 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 3: They had exhausted all options and nothing was working, and 100 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 3: so at risk of its spreading, they needed to amputate 101 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 3: in order to ensure that that spread wasn't going to happen. 102 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 3: And since the day that they've amputated, I have been 103 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 3: a picture of health. I haven't had one cancer cell 104 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 3: in my body, which has been amazing. So they did 105 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 3: an incredible job and it was the right decision at 106 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 3: that time, though I didn't realize it was going to 107 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 3: lead me down this amazing path of becoming a paralympian. 108 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 4: I love having a disability. 109 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 3: I'm fortunate to have had a lot of amazing experiences, 110 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 3: and I know that for people in the general community, 111 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 3: some having a disability hasn't been a pleasant experience. But 112 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 3: I've been able to use sport as an amazing platform 113 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 3: and channel all of that through sports. So I've considered 114 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,479 Speaker 3: myself quite fortunate in that sense. 115 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 2: Because you were so young, do you think that that 116 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 2: helped you with your recovery and that helped you for 117 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 2: that to almost become the norm that you weren't, you know, 118 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,839 Speaker 2: with your two legs for you know, your teenage years, 119 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 2: and all of a sudden you had your leg amputated. 120 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 2: It was done at such a young age. Do you 121 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 2: think that helped with the process. 122 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 4: I think so. 123 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 3: I think that's a fair assumption, and I would be 124 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 3: assuming just as much as you are, because I don't 125 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 3: know what it's like to have two legs. 126 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,119 Speaker 4: I don't know any different. 127 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 3: So I would see you know able bodied people and 128 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 3: be like, WHOA, that is a lot of limbs to 129 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 3: have to navigate. 130 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 4: I feel like it. You must feel like an octopus. 131 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 3: For me, having one is so normal to me that 132 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 3: I don't know any differently, and I think that that 133 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 3: has certainly helped with acceptance. The thing that I've still 134 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 3: had to navigate despite accepting at myself is people's perception 135 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 3: of what I'm able to do and my capabilities. And 136 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 3: that's a really deep rooted stigma and that we have 137 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 3: in our society That's happened for centuries and centuries around disability. 138 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 4: So that's something that I've had to overcome. 139 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,360 Speaker 3: But personally having a disability hasn't been a huge journey 140 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 3: of acceptance for me because I haven't known any differently. 141 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, once you had your leg amputated, was there a 142 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 2: rehab where you were in the hospital for a long 143 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 2: time you could integrate with children, school, home education? What 144 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 2: did that look like? 145 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 4: So I lost my leg. 146 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 3: I just turned three years old when I lost my leg. 147 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,680 Speaker 3: I did rehabilitation at the hospital. I think from what 148 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 3: I've seen and from what I've heard, my mum would 149 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 3: take me into the hospital and do rehabilitation with the 150 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 3: pediatric physiotherapist there, and it was just simple games that 151 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 3: they would play with me, Like there is a video 152 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 3: that we have on home footage of the physiotherapist and 153 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 3: she's you know, throwing a balloon to me and she's 154 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 3: trying to get me to wait bear on my prosthetic. 155 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 3: And so I was actually in the process of healing 156 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 3: without even realizing that I was. It was all just 157 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 3: fun and games for me at that age, and so 158 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,959 Speaker 3: I was still able to, I suppose, integrate straight back 159 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 3: into my old life, although I did look a little 160 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 3: bit differently now that I was missing a leg. I 161 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,559 Speaker 3: went straight you know, back home, was working with a physiotherapist, 162 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 3: but was still playing with alongside my siblings. And then 163 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 3: I went to primary school at the same age as 164 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 3: my twin sister, and I was really fortunate to have 165 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 3: my twin sister there because you know, I think we 166 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 3: learned so much through play. When we're a kid, I was, 167 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 3: you know, having a challenge in front of me, whether 168 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,679 Speaker 3: that was riding a bike or climbing a tree, things 169 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 3: that were a bit more difficult for me than it 170 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 3: was for my twin sister because I was missing a leg. 171 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 3: But my sister and I always found some way to 172 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 3: be able to get to the top of that tree, 173 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 3: or to be able to get onto the bike. And 174 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 3: it was an amazing process of learning how to adapt 175 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 3: to the environment around me and how to find a 176 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 3: solution no matter what. It was just through the simple 177 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 3: act of play, where it almost became part of my 178 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 3: mentality that there is like a huge problem in front 179 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 3: of me, but that's fine. It's almost a game to 180 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 3: play where we can find a way to get to 181 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 3: the top of the mountain. And I had that ingrained 182 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 3: in me from a very young age because of my disability. 183 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 4: So I do credit a lot of. 184 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 3: I suppose my determination to my disability, and I think 185 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 3: that's why I'm quite fond of it. 186 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:06,079 Speaker 2: Actually the water did when did someone think about chucking 187 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 2: you in a swimming pool? Because was it at a 188 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 2: young age? Was it part of your rehabilitation? What was 189 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 2: when did someone go, oh, this is a good idea, 190 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 2: We're chuck Ellie in a swimming pool? 191 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 4: Was how she gets for or in? 192 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 3: It was just a few weeks after my amputation, and 193 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 3: it's quite commonplace to have a swimming pool as a 194 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 3: rehabilitation space because you can learn how to use your 195 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,199 Speaker 3: body again without worrying about gravity or putting too. 196 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 4: Much load on your body. 197 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 198 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 4: Non impact, Yeah, non impact. 199 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 3: It's probably quite insensitive for me to want to head 200 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 3: down to our local rehabilitation pool and pick out our 201 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 3: next Paralympic superstars, but it genuinely is where a lot 202 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 3: of our Paralympic swimmers have come from as a rehabilitation pool. 203 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 3: And so I went around in circles for a couple 204 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 3: of weeks with my broken rudder. But once again, it 205 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 3: was just a simple act of adapting to what I 206 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 3: was doing, and I figured out how to swim in 207 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,560 Speaker 3: a straight line pretty quickly. And yeah, I was just 208 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 3: then went through the normal lender swim program that my 209 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 3: twin sister was and swimming wasn't that hard as it 210 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 3: turned out. 211 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 2: Wow, And I suppose as well, you know, looking on 212 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 2: the positive side and taking putting the disability aside. You know, 213 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 2: you were swimming from the age of three. Having that 214 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 2: confidence in the water is huge. It's a life skill, 215 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 2: it's a life lesson, right, Yeah, it really was. 216 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 3: And I think the swimming pool was a safe space 217 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 3: for me because. 218 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 4: You mentioned before, you know how great kids are. 219 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 3: Once they see something as different to them, they identify 220 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 3: that very quickly, but then they just move on with 221 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 3: their life. When I was younger, growing up, I found 222 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 3: the kids were very accommodating and accepting of my disability. 223 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 3: It was actually the adults without meaning to be. They 224 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 3: always had good intentions, but they always had very deep 225 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 3: rooted experiences with what they assumed disability was and was 226 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 3: always pushing that on me, like, you have this, so therefore, 227 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 3: this is what you're going to do. 228 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 4: And yeah. 229 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 3: The swimming pool for me was a place where I 230 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 3: could go and I could take off my prosthetic, I 231 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 3: could jump in the water and I could feel like 232 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 3: any other kid around me, and no one would even 233 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 3: know that I was different until I actually got out 234 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 3: of the water and people could see that I was 235 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 3: missing a leg. I just looked the same as everybody else, 236 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 3: and I had the same opportunity put in front of 237 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 3: me as everybody else, and it was probably the only 238 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 3: environment where I felt that. So I've always loved the 239 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 3: swimming pool because it was kind of where I started 240 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 3: off my Paralympic career, of course, but it was a 241 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 3: place where I could have the same opportunities as the 242 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 3: child who was sitting next to me, and I could 243 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 3: I had choice over what I could or couldn't do. 244 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 2: When was the first time, Because we're talking, you know, 245 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 2: hugely positive about you know the disability, and you know 246 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 2: what happened to you to yourself. But when was the 247 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 2: Was there ever a time growing up where you actually 248 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,080 Speaker 2: realized that CAR have got a disability? 249 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 3: Not until I was much older. Actually, I was a 250 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 3: pretty naive kid because I had the support of my 251 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 3: twin sister, and I was always doing everything alongside her, 252 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 3: and I was achieving the same things that she was 253 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 3: in terms of sport and athletic achievements or physical achievements. 254 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 3: I never really saw my disability as a disability in 255 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 3: a way. And I grew up going through primary school. 256 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 3: Everyone that I went to primary school with I met 257 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 3: when I was just five years old, so they became 258 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 3: very used to the fact that I did have one 259 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 3: as well, and almost was like it just was never acknowledged, 260 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 3: And it never really was acknowledged in a way where. 261 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 4: It set me back either. 262 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 3: So I grew up in a really positive environment within 263 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 3: my schooling system and my family life as well, and 264 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 3: it probably wasn't until I was actually in year six, 265 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 3: when I was twelve years old, where I would have 266 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 3: been a bit younger than that. 267 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,439 Speaker 4: But my sports teacher. 268 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,839 Speaker 3: Told me that I needed to sit this particular basketball 269 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 3: game out because I couldn't move as quickly as the 270 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,439 Speaker 3: other kids. And she was right, like I couldn't. When 271 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 3: I said, what do you mean, she said, because of 272 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 3: your prosthetic, And I was like, there's bit, like I'm 273 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:15,959 Speaker 3: gonna pleete myself here. 274 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 2: Go for it and go for it. 275 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 3: I was so upset, and that's always stuck with me 276 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 3: for some reason, because she really. 277 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 2: Could limited limited you to a disability basically that you, 278 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 2: in your head at that age, didn't believe that you 279 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 2: had right. You were just like you said, kid, go lucky, 280 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 2: young age. 281 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 3: And if she had just given me the opportunity and 282 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 3: the chance, she could have seen what I could have done. 283 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 3: And something very similar happened a couple of weeks ago. 284 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 3: I was in the jungle for a reality television show 285 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 3: that's quite popular, and one of the other camp mates 286 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 3: nominated me for a rock climbing challenge and I got 287 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 3: to this rock climbing wall and they made me stand 288 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 3: down at the bottom and sent someone else up this 289 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 3: rock climbing wall. 290 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 4: Love rock climbing. I could have done that wall. 291 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 3: But then all this social commentary happened, saying, Oh, I 292 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 3: don't think that they sent Elliot up the wall because 293 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 3: she has a disability. And the whole reason why I 294 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 3: went on that show was to challenge the idea of 295 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,080 Speaker 3: what it is to have a disability. So that really 296 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 3: annoyed me as well. 297 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 2: Oh wow, Ellie, I'm surprised you didn't go get out 298 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: of the way and just go up the wall and 299 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 2: climb the wall. Anyway, But going back to that year 300 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 2: six moment, was that start of a negative seed in 301 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 2: your heads that you were fighting against that gave you 302 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 2: even more determination to go to prouit, you know, to 303 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 2: put the middle finger up and go f you. You know? 304 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 2: Was it? Did that help you in your quest to 305 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 2: become a Paralympic champion? 306 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 3: I don't think it put a seat of negativity in me. 307 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 3: I think it made me realize quite quickly that there 308 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 3: are people that are going to be in your life, 309 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 3: or you're going to cross paths within your life, who 310 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 3: aren't educated in particular areas in the way that they 311 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 3: should be, and so I actually took it more of 312 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 3: a responsibility of this is what she believes, because it's 313 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 3: the information that she's been presented with up until now. 314 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 3: And so I really took that as a responsibility when 315 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 3: I was a Paralympic athlete to be able to really 316 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 3: challenge the way that people think. And I will never 317 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 3: hold the way that somebody thinks against them personally, because 318 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 3: it's the information that they've received up until that point 319 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 3: and it's their own perceptions of the world. So I 320 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 3: have always taken as a responsibility to make sure that 321 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 3: I challenge that as much as I can. And that's 322 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 3: why I've loved the Paralympic movement so much, and probably 323 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 3: why I was on the Australian swim team for seventeen years, 324 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 3: because I could really see some positive momentum from I 325 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 3: suppose my performances in the swimming pool and the performances 326 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 3: of my entire Paralympic team. I could see some amazing 327 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 3: momentum and I think that momentums getting stronger and stronger 328 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 3: every single game soar. But I saw such a difference 329 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:07,120 Speaker 3: in sport between Olympic and Paralympic sport when I first started, 330 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 3: you know, around Sydney two thousand Olympics. That's when I 331 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 3: was really inspired to become an elite athlete. 332 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 4: I didn't even know. 333 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 3: About the Paralympics in Sydney two thousand and so my 334 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 3: heroes were Patria Thomas and Susi O'Neil, and I wanted 335 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 3: to be Susi O'Neil desperately because I didn't have anything 336 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 3: else to aspire to at that point in time. And 337 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,399 Speaker 3: then I saw the Paralympic Games in two thousand and 338 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 3: four and knew I wanted to become a Paralympian. But 339 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 3: I saw a completely different world for the Paralympics than 340 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 3: the Olympics in terms of the way that you know, 341 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 3: they were commercially sponsored, the way that they were valued 342 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 3: as athletes, the way that they were funded, like, it 343 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 3: was so different and it still is, but it's becoming 344 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 3: better because of the awareness that's happening around the Paralympic movement. 345 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 2: When did you realize that you were on you're going 346 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 2: to represent your country, that you're on the Australian swimming team. 347 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 2: When did that call come up? And can you remember 348 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 2: that moment where they were like what you're going to 349 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,719 Speaker 2: represent your country. How old of you are you? And 350 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,680 Speaker 2: do you remember where you were when you got that call? 351 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 2: So that's a big moment, right, Yeah. 352 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 3: It was a big moment because I had really only 353 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 3: just discovered the Paralympic movement. I'd only been familiar with 354 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,360 Speaker 3: the Paralympic movement for about two years up until this point, 355 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 3: or two or three years. And I got the call 356 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 3: up when I actually I actually went to the Australian 357 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 3: Swimming Trials. So every year we have the Australian Swimming 358 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 3: Trials and that's where you go if you want to 359 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 3: qualify for the Australian swim team that year. And I 360 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 3: had a phenomenal competition at that trials and I just 361 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 3: scraped onto the Australian swimming team to go to the 362 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 3: two thousand and six World Swimming Championships. 363 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 4: You don't actually get a call up. 364 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,200 Speaker 3: You have to wait until the end of the week 365 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 3: after all the swimming trials are finished, and then you 366 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,199 Speaker 3: get a tap on the shoulder and say you're on 367 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,880 Speaker 3: the Australian swim team. Meet me in this meeting room 368 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 3: in half an hour where we'll do the induction. 369 00:18:58,920 --> 00:18:59,679 Speaker 4: That's how it happened. 370 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 2: Did that feel though? Obviously there's bags and nerves. I 371 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 2: can imagine, you know, leading up to it, thinking have 372 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:07,400 Speaker 2: you done enough? 373 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 4: Yeah. 374 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 3: So, being fourteen years old, I don't think I understood 375 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,360 Speaker 3: the full gravity of what I was walking into. I 376 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,360 Speaker 3: was also still quite naive. I've pretty much ever spent 377 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 3: my whole life being quite naive. Actually, and I was 378 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 3: by far the most excited person in the room. Everyone 379 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,399 Speaker 3: else on the swim team was in the early to 380 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,640 Speaker 3: mid twenties. I was fourteen years old and I was 381 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 3: so excited. I think I annoyed everybody on that team 382 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,400 Speaker 3: for the whole three weeks were away, and I didn't 383 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,719 Speaker 3: really understand, like I said, the gravity of being an 384 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 3: Australian dolphin, which is what we call our swimmers on 385 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:48,159 Speaker 3: this team. I remember competing at that World Swimming Championships 386 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 3: and before my one hundred meters backstroke final, I you know, 387 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,199 Speaker 3: the whistle blew and I jumped into the water. I 388 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 3: was about to say both feet, one foot into the water, 389 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 3: and I looked up at my swimming coach and I 390 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,439 Speaker 3: was waving at her before they said take your marks, 391 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:06,439 Speaker 3: and she was like Ellie focus but reflecting. 392 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 4: On my whole career. 393 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 3: I've never actually been the one to go through the 394 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 3: same motions behind the blocks as all the other swimmers. 395 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,120 Speaker 4: I've always been the one who was. 396 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 3: Had a bit more fun with it, you know, I 397 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,360 Speaker 3: haven't been focusing, always the one that's kind of just having 398 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 3: a good time and don't I think it takes the 399 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 3: pressure off, to be honest, And I remember my coach 400 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,400 Speaker 3: telling me that this is the way that swimmers approached 401 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 3: the blocks before a race. You have to be really serious, 402 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,879 Speaker 3: you have to take four breaths and black. It was 403 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 3: just it was almost methodical, and I just never wanted 404 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,639 Speaker 3: to do that. I always had a lot of fun 405 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 3: with my racing. 406 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,399 Speaker 2: When you talk about swiming, you were a huge smile 407 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 2: on your face. Did you love it? Were you really 408 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 2: really passionate about it? I suppose you have to be 409 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 2: a that's it or were you just just found out 410 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 2: it's someone that you were good at. Was that still 411 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 2: your safe space growing older? You know, all thro all 412 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 2: through your teenage years and your adult years. Did you 413 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 2: carry that on from that young age of three? 414 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 3: So swimming, yeah, definitely started out to be my safe space. 415 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 3: I think I was so excited when I first represented Australia, 416 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,919 Speaker 3: because it was still kind of off the back of 417 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,639 Speaker 3: the Sydney two thousand Olympics, and I just felt like, wow, 418 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,439 Speaker 3: you know, these are the same footsteps that Ian Thorpe 419 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 3: and since you and Nila have walked in, like, I 420 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 3: knew that it was prestigious, as much as I didn't 421 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 3: really understand the full gravity and the impact that it 422 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 3: could have, and so I was just I loved the 423 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 3: idea of being like the heroes that I admired when 424 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,159 Speaker 3: I was growing up, and I think that's what I 425 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 3: really enjoyed about swimming at the beginning in terms of 426 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 3: the safe space. The swimming pool actually stopped being my 427 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,880 Speaker 3: safe space when I was about sixteen or seventeen years old, 428 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,239 Speaker 3: and that's probably when I struggled the most in my 429 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 3: life mentally, because I had this safe space that I'd 430 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 3: had for my entire life, and then that safe space 431 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 3: got violated in a way and was taken away from me, 432 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 3: and I didn't have that safe space anymore. And there 433 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,400 Speaker 3: was a few really rough years in my swimming career 434 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,479 Speaker 3: when I was an Australian Institute of Sport athlete, and 435 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 3: it was a very much win it all costs mentality 436 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 3: and do whatever it takes to win. And I didn't 437 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 3: consider any part of myself as a human person really, 438 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,400 Speaker 3: and it was quite damaging and I needed to take 439 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 3: a few years off after that experience, but I found 440 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 3: my love for the sport again. 441 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,120 Speaker 4: And yeah, why. 442 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 2: Did that happen? Ellie? Could you mind taking us back 443 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 2: to that part of your life where it was no 444 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 2: longer a safe space? 445 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 4: High performance sport. 446 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 3: This is all obviously just my experience, but high performance 447 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,120 Speaker 3: sport in my experience, has been really interesting because when 448 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 3: you're a young child and you see your Olympic or 449 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,320 Speaker 3: Paralympic heroes on the television screen, you know that you 450 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,160 Speaker 3: want to be like them, but you don't really understand 451 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 3: the physical and emotional work that it takes to be 452 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,359 Speaker 3: able to get to the top of your game. And 453 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 3: it's almost like the pressure to perform and what it 454 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 3: takes to perform is drip fed to you so slowly 455 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 3: after a long during a long period of time, that 456 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 3: you don't really realize what you're in until you're already 457 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:33,800 Speaker 3: neck deep in it. And certain behaviors, certain environments almost 458 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,919 Speaker 3: become acceptable to you that if you stand out of 459 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 3: the box that you're standing in and looking in and 460 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 3: you're like, this is not a safe environment for somebody 461 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 3: to be in for a long period of time. But 462 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 3: when you're in it, you don't see it until you've 463 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 3: retired in a way, or until you're like until it 464 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 3: blindsides you and punches you in the face. And so 465 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,719 Speaker 3: that's kind of the experience that I had where I 466 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 3: knew that I want to be a high performing athlete. 467 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:06,919 Speaker 3: I didn't realize the culture, or the effort, or I 468 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 3: suppose the win it all costs mentality that that would 469 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 3: take until I was already neck deep in it. And 470 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,880 Speaker 3: so my experience was I had moved to high performance 471 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 3: training program. I was expected I just finished high school, 472 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,360 Speaker 3: so I was expected to be a full time athlete. 473 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,399 Speaker 3: I was training ten times a week in the pool 474 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 3: for two two and a half hours a session, so 475 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 3: sometimes five hours a day in the pool, three hours 476 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,720 Speaker 3: a day in the gym. But the interesting part about 477 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,840 Speaker 3: the environment that I was in is that I lived 478 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,400 Speaker 3: on residence, and so I was a very insular environment 479 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 3: where everything that I did was around becoming a gold 480 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:46,879 Speaker 3: medalist athlete, and so I pretty much I lived at 481 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 3: the pool was I only lived with athletes. I wasn't 482 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 3: allowed to live off residents, I wasn't allowed to work, 483 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 3: I wasn't even really allowed to date at the time, 484 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 3: and so everything that I did was controlled, and it 485 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 3: was very controlled environment, and I didn't get any autonomy over. 486 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 4: Who I was. 487 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 3: Obviously, with athletes back then, physique was critically important, so 488 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 3: we would get as skin folds taken, we would be told, 489 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,159 Speaker 3: you know, you have to look this way, you have 490 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 3: to eat this way, you have to behave this way, 491 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 3: you have to train this way, and if you're injured, 492 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 3: just ignore it and keep pushing. 493 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 2: You said that you had a bad couple of years. 494 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 2: When did the bubble burst? And you know, and you 495 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 2: take a step back and go right, I need to 496 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 2: do things a bit differently, you know, in order again 497 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 2: to fall in love with the sport. 498 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 3: It was interesting because I suppose the bubble burst me 499 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 3: after the London twenty twelve Games. So this experience that 500 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,760 Speaker 3: I was having, it was in the lead into the 501 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 3: London twenty twelve games, so from two thousand and nine 502 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 3: to twenty twelve, and so the bubble began to burst 503 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 3: a couple of months before the London twenty twelve games 504 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 3: I had. I had some pretty significant shoulder injuries by 505 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 3: that stage, where I couldn't actually lift my arms above 506 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 3: ninety degrees, I couldn't wash my hair, I couldn't take 507 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,119 Speaker 3: a jacket off, and then I was still swimming like 508 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,200 Speaker 3: ten kilometers a day on these shoulders that were effectively 509 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:13,919 Speaker 3: being torn off my arms, and so that was happening. 510 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 3: I had pretty significant injuries. And then there are a 511 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 3: few cultural things that were happening within my program that 512 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 3: weren't pleasant to be around, and so the bubble started 513 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,679 Speaker 3: bursting in the lead up to the London twenty twelve games, 514 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,119 Speaker 3: and so they bought in different management for my swim 515 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 3: team in the lead into those games. But then my 516 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:36,360 Speaker 3: coach at the time was diagnosed with a terminal illness 517 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,679 Speaker 3: and so had to step away, and then we had 518 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,160 Speaker 3: to move up to Queensland a couple of months before 519 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 3: we actually headed off to the London twenty twelve games. 520 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 3: So it was a really bad experience in hindsight going 521 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 3: into those games. And then once those games finished, I 522 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 3: came home, I just fell into this heap and I 523 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 3: didn't know who I was because I'd never been able 524 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,439 Speaker 3: to really over the last years anyway, I'd changed so 525 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 3: much as a person, but I'd never had any autonomy 526 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 3: or decision making over who that person was going to be, 527 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:08,239 Speaker 3: and so by the time I got to the end 528 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 3: of it, I didn't know who I was and it 529 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 3: was really tough, and I did not have a good 530 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,880 Speaker 3: association with the sport at all and needed to take 531 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 3: I think I took two and a half years out 532 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 3: of the pool to just mentally recover from that experience. 533 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:23,200 Speaker 4: It was awful. 534 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 2: You've You've skipped over quite an important bit there, because 535 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 2: you just went twenty twelve Olympics and this is what 536 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 2: I went through. But even more impressive, I suppose with 537 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 2: what you were going through from twenty ten to twenty twelve, 538 00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 2: you still went to the twenty twelve Olympic Games and 539 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 2: came away with gold, right, yeah, it so can we 540 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,680 Speaker 2: quickly go back to that moment of winning the gold medal? Please? 541 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, we can do that, I guess. 542 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, those games were certainly interesting because I hadn't I 543 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,400 Speaker 3: didn't have the best headspace going into those games, but 544 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 3: I knew that I'd put an incredible amount of work 545 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,199 Speaker 3: and I didn't want that work to go to waste, 546 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 3: and particularly with my coach having a terminent illness, I 547 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 3: also wanted to make sure that I'd finish the job 548 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 3: that we'd set out to do and perform really well 549 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 3: for him. And yeah, I did end up winning four 550 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,200 Speaker 3: gold and two runs at the London twenty twelve Games, 551 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 3: but I was just. 552 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 2: A small thing to skip over. Listen, I want to 553 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 2: know what it was like knowing that you've won gold 554 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 2: the moment you entered the water. Was it like I've 555 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 2: got this? 556 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 3: I was pretty confident within myself before those races that 557 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 3: I won. The first race that I won over there 558 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 3: was the one hundred meters backstroke events, and I knew 559 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 3: that my back end, so second fifty out of the hundred, 560 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 3: was faster than anybody else in the field, and so 561 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,560 Speaker 3: I knew that if I had turned first at the 562 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,719 Speaker 3: fifty minute mark, that I would win the race. And 563 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 3: so I remember doing that tumble turn and looking at 564 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 3: my biggest threat in the pool and seeing that she 565 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 3: was behind, and I knew from that moment, I'm like, 566 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 3: I've just got to finish this. 567 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 2: So were you just like that to the other half 568 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 2: the other fifty year? Just like no, I was to 569 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 2: get my gold medal. 570 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 4: I'll see you on the podium. 571 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll see you on the boat. 572 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 3: No, it wasn't like that. It was a huge sense 573 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 3: of relief to win that medal though, because once you've 574 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 3: won that gold medal, you're a gold medalist. 575 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me about that, because obviously there's a build up. 576 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 2: There's the anticipation. Don't forget the hard work, the isolation, 577 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 2: the mental resilience and emotional resilience that you needed to 578 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 2: you need to become a gold medal winner. But what 579 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 2: did that sort of get off your shoulders. 580 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 3: I think it's a huge relief because, as I mentioned, 581 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 3: no one really understands the work that goes into winning 582 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,280 Speaker 3: a gold medal. Now, just because you put that work 583 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 3: in doesn't mean that you're guaranteed to win one. 584 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 4: It's actually you've got a very small chance of winning. 585 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 3: So to be able to put that work in, to 586 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 3: put my whole life on hold, to almost not even 587 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,200 Speaker 3: know who I was at the other end, and then 588 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 3: to be able to be rewarded with the highest accolade 589 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,800 Speaker 3: that you could in sport, that was the relief because 590 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 3: it gave a acknowledgment to the effort that you had 591 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 3: put in. 592 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 4: But it's interesting. 593 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:41,000 Speaker 3: I remember watching the Tokyo Olympic Games and seeing Arion Titmas, 594 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 3: who had a very successful games. When you win that 595 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 3: gold medal early in your swimming program and you still 596 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 3: have events on after you almost have you can't even 597 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 3: really celebrate or sit in that moment for too long 598 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 3: because you still have a job to do, You still 599 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 3: have other events to perform. It doesn't mean that, you know, 600 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,320 Speaker 3: you can kick your feet up and have a good 601 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 3: time and sit back and retire for the rest of 602 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 3: your life. You've got to warm down and get ready 603 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 3: for an event the next morning. So you can't even 604 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 3: really enjoy that moment. And so that's something that I 605 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 3: wasn't really expecting and is a bit of a shame 606 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 3: because it is a huge achievement, but you can't sit 607 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 3: in that achievement. But it's something I'm telling you that 608 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 3: you celebrate very hard. When you get home from the games, 609 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 3: you have the best celebration of your life. 610 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 2: So you clean up with a twenty twelve London Olympics. 611 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 2: Talk to me about the suck up? Is it? Separation 612 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,240 Speaker 2: between you know, the Parer Olympics and the Olympics was 613 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 2: it obvious at the twenty twelve Games. Were you quite 614 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 2: shocked at about it? 615 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was. 616 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 3: Actually I wasn't shocked about it at all because it 617 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 3: had been something that I'd grown quite accustomed to being 618 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 3: a para athlete for most of my life. But at 619 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 3: that point, the London twenty twelve Games, the Olympic and 620 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,440 Speaker 3: Paralympic movement was still quite segregated in that, you know, 621 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 3: obviously Olympians were very celebrated, like I won four gold 622 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 3: medals at London, and no one knew me from a 623 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 3: bar soap. My next door neighbor wouldn't have even known 624 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 3: who I was. And so you had to really carry 625 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 3: out who you were as an athlete, not for any 626 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:22,240 Speaker 3: kind of praise from the public or any commercial sponsors 627 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 3: that you may receive from being a successful athlete. You 628 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 3: genuinely had to compete because you wanted to and you 629 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 3: had that self ambition to do that as a paralympian 630 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 3: back then. Obviously things are a bit different now with 631 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 3: the integration between Olympics and Paralympics, but back in. 632 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 4: Twenty twelve, it was very very segregated. 633 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 3: The Paralympics went even on mainstream television at the time, 634 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,720 Speaker 3: and you know, receiving very minimal airtime, if at all. 635 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 3: And so you really did have to do the sport 636 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 3: and sacrifice a lot in your life simply because you 637 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 3: had a huge goal that you wanted to achieve and 638 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 3: that was the only reason why you ever I would 639 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 3: become a paralympian back then, so. 640 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,520 Speaker 2: You were in a complete professional focus headspace. You know, well, 641 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 2: I've just got to get this job done. Did you 642 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 2: manage to take an outside step from you know, everything 643 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,200 Speaker 2: that was going on and actually realize what you'd achieved. 644 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,640 Speaker 3: In terms of realizing what I'd achieved, that didn't really 645 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 3: come until this year, really, but in terms of falling 646 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 3: back in love with the sport again, I took two 647 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 3: two and a half years out of the sport. I 648 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:41,320 Speaker 3: needed to get my shoulders reconstructed and rehabilitated. For one 649 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 3: and two I needed to mentally take a step back 650 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 3: from high performance because I mentioned, you know, the culture 651 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 3: around the high performance space wasn't Yeah, it wasn't the 652 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,040 Speaker 3: best place to be in long term anyway. And so 653 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 3: I actually didn't really know, as I mentioned, who I 654 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 3: was at the time. I didn't have any skill sets, 655 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,480 Speaker 3: so I was still studying at university. But I had 656 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,959 Speaker 3: never had a job in my life, and so I 657 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,800 Speaker 3: decided that I don't have any skills, I'm going to 658 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 3: become a swim coach, and so I started coaching young kids. 659 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,880 Speaker 3: And I was teaching kids from the age of nine 660 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 3: to twelve years old about how to become an athlete 661 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 3: in terms of, you know, how to race. These kids 662 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 3: were just entering the arena of racing and competing and swimming, 663 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 3: and I really grew attached to these kids that I 664 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,440 Speaker 3: was coaching. I was coaching about fifteen of them, and 665 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,600 Speaker 3: I was so proud of them every time. They were 666 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 3: all incredibly hard workers, they had amazing work ethic, particularly 667 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,520 Speaker 3: for their age, and every time they competed and did well, 668 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,000 Speaker 3: I became really emotional. I was very invested in their 669 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,279 Speaker 3: swimming journeys. And that's actually how I fell in love 670 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,120 Speaker 3: with the sport again. It was through reconnecting with you know, 671 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:55,120 Speaker 3: community sport and grassroots sport and being really proud of 672 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 3: these young athletes. And I think the moment that really 673 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,840 Speaker 3: connected for me and wanting to get back into this 674 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,319 Speaker 3: sport is I was at Macquarie Park in Sydney and 675 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 3: I was at this ice skating rink and I was 676 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,959 Speaker 3: watching this young girl who was ice skating. I didn't 677 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,160 Speaker 3: know her, but she was so talented. And I remember 678 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 3: saying to my partner, look how talented this girl is. 679 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,959 Speaker 3: She could make the Olympics one day. And my partner said, well, 680 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 3: you're a Paralympian, you're a gold medalist. You're talented as well. 681 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,839 Speaker 3: And kind of that's the first moment time I ever 682 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 3: really actually acknowledged it. And it may be quite emotional 683 00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 3: because I was kind of acknowledging everybody else in my 684 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 3: life except for me. And so that's something I know 685 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 3: that I don't do that well, is acknowledge what my 686 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 3: achievements have been. And even last week I was with 687 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 3: our Chef de mission, so our team general manager for Paris, 688 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 3: a Paralympic team, and I said to her, because they're 689 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 3: taking a whole bunch of medals, Olympic and Paralympic medals 690 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,319 Speaker 3: over to Paris to showcase in a museum, and so 691 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 3: they asked for one of my gold medals. And Anna 692 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 3: Mears is donating to this museum for the Paris Olympics. 693 00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 4: Six of her gold medals. And I said to our 694 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 4: chef to mission. 695 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 3: I was like, did you know that Ana Mirs has 696 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:08,040 Speaker 3: six gold medals? Like that's crazy, and she said back 697 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:13,239 Speaker 3: to me, She's like, Ellie, you've got six as well. 698 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:17,800 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. So I do acknowledge that that's something 699 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:18,960 Speaker 4: that I'm not very good at. 700 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,360 Speaker 2: When did Rio come on your radar? 701 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:22,319 Speaker 1: So? 702 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,720 Speaker 4: Rio came on my radar. 703 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 3: I got back into just general club swimming through the 704 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:31,359 Speaker 3: club that I was coaching with, and so that's how 705 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,279 Speaker 3: I got back into swimming. And then I decided I 706 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,320 Speaker 3: wanted to try and make that Rio Paralympic team whilst 707 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 3: training at the club that had almost fostered my emotional 708 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,319 Speaker 3: rehabilitation into the sport, and so I almost wanted to 709 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 3: do it for my swimming club and like the community, 710 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 3: grassroots thing. 711 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,359 Speaker 4: And I think because that. 712 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 3: Safe space of the swimming pool had been taken away 713 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 3: from me, this club that I was swimming with had 714 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,839 Speaker 3: given me the safe space back, and so I felt 715 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:03,279 Speaker 3: like I needed to say thank you. And the best 716 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,399 Speaker 3: way that I could do that was to represent them 717 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:10,600 Speaker 3: on a world stage Castle Hill, RSL Dolphins, and I 718 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,439 Speaker 3: did a pretty good job in Rio. 719 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 4: I won a few. 720 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:19,200 Speaker 3: Few I don't know I can't remember. 721 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:19,919 Speaker 4: I honestly can't. 722 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:25,279 Speaker 2: Amazing, that's phenomenal. Are you as confident, as confident as 723 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:29,920 Speaker 2: the twenty twelve Olympics and obviously you're in a better 724 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 2: headspace now. So did you have a lot different experience 725 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,360 Speaker 2: going into into Rio than you did into London? 726 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,359 Speaker 4: Oh, it was a different experience. I was. I was 727 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 4: as confident, but in a different way. 728 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,320 Speaker 3: I was much more at peace with being a person 729 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 3: as well as an athlete, not just some gold medal 730 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 3: winning robot. So I was looking at Rio through a 731 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 3: very different lens. But it's hard for me to answer 732 00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 3: this because the race that I had in that won 733 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,440 Speaker 3: the gold medal. I'm so disappointed with that race and 734 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:08,360 Speaker 3: how I swam it that I whilst I was as confident, 735 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,200 Speaker 3: I wasn't as happy with the results. And that's why 736 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 3: I came back for another Games in Tokyo, because I 737 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,799 Speaker 3: was going to retire in Rio, and then I was like, 738 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,520 Speaker 3: I can't retire after that shocking race. 739 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,239 Speaker 4: I know that I won, but even though you've. 740 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,600 Speaker 2: Got gold, no I can't. It wasn't enough. 741 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:22,720 Speaker 4: I can't. 742 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,160 Speaker 2: And why do you think that? Is really just going 743 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 2: back to your your headspace, your mindset and your elite mindset. 744 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,840 Speaker 2: Is it because you knew you could have swam better 745 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,440 Speaker 2: or you could be better as an individual? What was it? 746 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,440 Speaker 2: Was it the external and I could have swam that better, 747 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,360 Speaker 2: or I know I can do better as as a 748 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:42,400 Speaker 2: as an individual. 749 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:47,000 Speaker 3: I think it was the process of the race itself. 750 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 3: So athletes are very process driven. We're very fortunate in 751 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,239 Speaker 3: our current day and age where we have a team 752 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:59,880 Speaker 3: of exercise scientists and physiologists who pull out one percenters 753 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,040 Speaker 3: from all of this data, and so we rely quite 754 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,200 Speaker 3: heavily on data. As an athlete will do a heat swim, 755 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,320 Speaker 3: they'll do a heap of data about that, all of 756 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,840 Speaker 3: these graphs, and you can pinpoint exactly where your weakest 757 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 3: moments were in that in that particular race. So I 758 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 3: know in Rio, in the between twenty five and thirty 759 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,919 Speaker 3: five meters, I dropped my stroke rate, so my stow 760 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,400 Speaker 3: crate went from forty seven to forty three, and that 761 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 3: is not acceptable to me. Wow, So I know that 762 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,120 Speaker 3: I could have done better in that event. And I 763 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,680 Speaker 3: always chase perfection in my race, and what I mean 764 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:36,879 Speaker 3: by that is to make sure that my race data 765 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 3: was as consistent as it could have been, and that 766 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:39,880 Speaker 3: I didn't drop the ball anywhere. 767 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 2: And are you in the same mindset now with everything 768 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 2: that you do in life, or if you managed to 769 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:49,480 Speaker 2: untrain your not untrain your mind, I suppose, but unwire 770 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,720 Speaker 2: that part, because I suppose you'll just be beating yourself 771 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:53,640 Speaker 2: up every single day. 772 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,839 Speaker 3: If you see it as an opportunity, you don't beat 773 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,479 Speaker 3: yourself up. That's the I think one thing that I've 774 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 3: really taken away from my career into and translated that 775 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:06,240 Speaker 3: into my life now is that I know that everything 776 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,000 Speaker 3: that we do is a learning process and you can 777 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:14,239 Speaker 3: chase perfection, but you can't be perfect. And I love, love, 778 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,440 Speaker 3: really constructive feedback, and I feel like a lot of 779 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,279 Speaker 3: people are so scared to offer feedback because they're worried 780 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,959 Speaker 3: about how somebody is going to react to being told 781 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:26,359 Speaker 3: that they're not doing something well. So I think one 782 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,719 Speaker 3: thing that I have taken into my life now is 783 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:33,239 Speaker 3: that I actually prefer to not do things well. No, 784 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,320 Speaker 3: of course I want to do things to a high standard, 785 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 3: but I understand that to get to a point of 786 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 3: being very elite at something, whether that's doing the dishes, 787 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:45,280 Speaker 3: whether that's hanging you washing, whether that's changing world politics. 788 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,759 Speaker 3: To become a lead in something, it does take practice. 789 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 3: And so I don't beat myself up at all over 790 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:53,480 Speaker 3: anything because I know that my standards are incredibly high 791 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:56,120 Speaker 3: and I know that I will do the work to 792 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,680 Speaker 3: get there. And as long as I'm willing to do 793 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,520 Speaker 3: the work, then I can't beat myself up. As soon 794 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,080 Speaker 3: as I give up and sit down and say no, 795 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,600 Speaker 3: I'm not doing this anymore, that is the bit that 796 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:06,799 Speaker 3: I'll viat myself up over. 797 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,360 Speaker 2: Good yeah, good, yeah, yeah. There you go from London 798 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:15,160 Speaker 2: to Rio to Tokyo. More medals in Tokyo. But an 799 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,279 Speaker 2: important question I suppose, and I know it's important for 800 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:22,640 Speaker 2: you as well. What was the difference, like, you know, 801 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 2: from London to Rio to Tokyo in you know, acceptance 802 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:32,880 Speaker 2: inclusivity of the Paralympics and the Olympic Games. Did you 803 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:37,000 Speaker 2: see an obvious change during the three and how's it 804 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:37,600 Speaker 2: sitting now? 805 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:43,600 Speaker 3: I saw huge change begin as soon as the Paralympics 806 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:49,360 Speaker 3: signed a television rights deal on the same network that 807 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,960 Speaker 3: the Olympic Games were on. So in at the Rio Games, 808 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:57,160 Speaker 3: both of those Olympics and Paralympics were on Network seven, 809 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:02,120 Speaker 3: and because they were both on Network seven. Those athletes 810 00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,759 Speaker 3: were being supported by the same commercial partners. So a 811 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:10,200 Speaker 3: commercial partner would want to sponsor a few Olympic athletes 812 00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:13,000 Speaker 3: and a few Paralympic athletes and do a whole bunch 813 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:17,239 Speaker 3: of advertising and promotion of that commercial support. And so 814 00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,719 Speaker 3: the more visibility that Paralympic athletes had, whether that was 815 00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:24,279 Speaker 3: on television networks, whether that was in advertising campaigns, just 816 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,440 Speaker 3: getting faces of Paralympians out there and stories of Paralympians 817 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 3: out there. I find advertising campaigns around Paralympic athletes are 818 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:31,719 Speaker 3: so bloody powerful. 819 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,080 Speaker 4: They like a spine tingling. They're amazing. 820 00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,239 Speaker 3: But the more visibility that we've had effectively that's been 821 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,080 Speaker 3: translating into the Paralympic movement becoming even bigger and even 822 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:45,839 Speaker 3: bigger and even bigger. And this game's in particular coming 823 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,359 Speaker 3: up in Paris, you're going to see Paralympians more than 824 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,600 Speaker 3: you ever have before, and so it really does make 825 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,440 Speaker 3: a huge difference as well as social media, you know, 826 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,719 Speaker 3: Paralympic athletes being able to have their own voice now 827 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,880 Speaker 3: and be able to tell the stories and showcase what 828 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:03,080 Speaker 3: they want to show. Obviously, Paralympic athletes love showing like 829 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,560 Speaker 3: for me when I was an athlete. I love showing 830 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,560 Speaker 3: like single leg dead lifts and just doing badass things 831 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,040 Speaker 3: on my social media because I was able to show 832 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,319 Speaker 3: people what I could do finally, and that's what I've 833 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 3: been wanting to do for my whole life. So to 834 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:16,920 Speaker 3: be able to have social media and got to have 835 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 3: networks promoting the Paralympics has made a huge difference. And 836 00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:24,640 Speaker 3: Paralympin's household names now, so it's been amazing. 837 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:30,239 Speaker 2: No, absolutely, they are indeed And another important though, you 838 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:31,400 Speaker 2: are a mother. 839 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm how old four and a half month old 840 00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:35,719 Speaker 4: little boy. 841 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,520 Speaker 2: I'm surprised you've made it to the podcast if I'm 842 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,000 Speaker 2: being honestly four and a half. What's it like being 843 00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:41,359 Speaker 2: a mum? 844 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:42,720 Speaker 4: It's amazing. 845 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,840 Speaker 3: It's interesting because I'm not actuallyite. I've never been maternal 846 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:51,719 Speaker 3: or anything, and I wasn't sure what my experience of 847 00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,400 Speaker 3: being a mum was going to be like. 848 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,279 Speaker 4: But I remember holding him on the very first day 849 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:56,799 Speaker 4: that he was. 850 00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 3: Born and being like, oh my gosh, I couldn't look 851 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 3: at anything apart from his cute little face. And I 852 00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,319 Speaker 3: can hear it all the time people talk about their 853 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 3: kids growing up, but they do go very quickly, and 854 00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:09,440 Speaker 3: he is learning very quickly. And at the moment, my 855 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 3: favorite thing in the morning is to wake up. He 856 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 3: sleeps in a CoA sleeper next to me and he's 857 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,319 Speaker 3: always looking at me when I wake up, and he 858 00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 3: just gives me the biggest. 859 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,439 Speaker 4: Smile and oh yeah, he's the best. 860 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,640 Speaker 3: His name's Felix and he was born with as much 861 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 3: hair as Patrick Dempsey, so I think he's going to 862 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,040 Speaker 3: be a bit of a heartbreaker. He's got great hair. 863 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,640 Speaker 3: He always needs a haircut. He's starting to get a mullet. 864 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,359 Speaker 2: Wow, the a list our envious mind's going, But listen, 865 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,400 Speaker 2: we won't talk about that. Do you think we've got 866 00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,040 Speaker 2: a swimmer on our hands? If you chucked him in 867 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:40,239 Speaker 2: the bath yet? 868 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,319 Speaker 4: And oh yeah, he loves the bath. 869 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,960 Speaker 2: Can you identify a few strokes that he's. 870 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,440 Speaker 4: Doing or yeah, I do. I teach him. 871 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 3: I've really taught him how to do breasts, street kick, 872 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 3: but really I want to get him to lots of 873 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:55,279 Speaker 3: different sports. I'm not sure which one will stick with him, 874 00:44:55,440 --> 00:45:02,000 Speaker 3: but it's it's interesting because being an athlete was incredibly 875 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:05,680 Speaker 3: hard in terms of the physical exhaustion that you feel. 876 00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:07,280 Speaker 4: The entire time you're training. 877 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,359 Speaker 3: Being a mum is exhausting, but I actually think it's 878 00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,600 Speaker 3: not as hard as being a swimmer in terms of 879 00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,759 Speaker 3: I actually get more sleep now than I did when 880 00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,200 Speaker 3: I was a swimmer, and I have more energy now 881 00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,360 Speaker 3: than I did when I was a swimmer, and so 882 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,880 Speaker 3: I feel like after retiring from sport, everything is easier. 883 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,840 Speaker 4: But he's also a very easy baby. He sleeps. I probably 884 00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,440 Speaker 4: shouldn't say this, but he sleeps through the night. 885 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:36,640 Speaker 2: Yes, out there, I know. 886 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,480 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, but he's he's starting to teeth, so 887 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,160 Speaker 3: he's crying a lot now, so please stop crying. But 888 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:43,520 Speaker 3: when every time he cries, I just put him in 889 00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:44,520 Speaker 3: the bath because he loves it. 890 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:49,680 Speaker 2: He's a water baby. Really, it's been an absolute pleasure, 891 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,640 Speaker 2: phenomenal career. How many medals are you giving over to 892 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,000 Speaker 2: the museum? 893 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,800 Speaker 4: Just one? I'm not anime. I don't even know I had. 894 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:05,000 Speaker 2: Six to give, so yeah, listen, keeping on. One's enough, 895 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,240 Speaker 2: one's enough, keep your achievements, listen. Thanks ever so much, Ellie, 896 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,160 Speaker 2: and again I look forward to seeing you on our 897 00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:15,359 Speaker 2: TV screens very soon. Thank you, thank you, thanks, thanks 898 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,160 Speaker 2: so much for joining me on headgame. If you enjoyed 899 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,200 Speaker 2: this episode. Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss 900 00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:24,680 Speaker 2: any of our incredible stories, and leave me a review 901 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:29,919 Speaker 2: wherever you're listening, I'm Aunt Middleton. Catch you again next time.