WEBVTT - #2061 Finding Purpose in the Mayhem - Bobby Cappuccio 0:00:00.640 --> 0:00:02.559 I get a tam it's a you project, It's Jumbo, 0:00:02.600 --> 0:00:05.160 It's Fatty Harps, It's Craig Anthony Harperrids, Tiffany and Cook, 0:00:05.200 --> 0:00:10.320 It's Robert, Robert, Robert. What's your middle name again? What's 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:12.600 his middle name? Roberts? Do you have a middle name, 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:18.000 Bobby does? It's Joseph Joseph. Of course I knew that. Robert, 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:21.799 Joseph Capuccio, Tiffany and Cook, tiff What are you looking 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:24.200 like that? Did your dog just break into your studio 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:25.960 the door? 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:28.240 Did you slide a jar? And I'm like, if that 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:30.280 is bere we are in for a ride. 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:33.840 Wow. Wow, Well, there's no animal that's going to break 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:36.360 into my studio because I'm animal less, but I could 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:40.239 be animal full by about February or March, depending on 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:42.599 the outcome of my PhD and the timing with that. 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:46.560 And you did send me a photograph of a dog, 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:50.639 tiff that's the most terrifying fucking canine I've ever laid eyes. 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:55.000 On, but so weirdly beautiful, captivating, even kind. 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:57.440 Of look like an old leather boot that was three 0:00:57.480 --> 0:01:02.080 foot high. A Mexican can hairless. Is that what it's called? 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:05.640 Yes? Yes, I'm trying to google the pronunciation of the 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.760 breed because the word itself to read is yeah. 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:11.080 Because which sounds like a cat more than a dog, 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.000 and it's it's bobby. You should see this dog. It's 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:17.920 like the size of a labrador or bigger, but it's 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:23.040 got zero hair, and it looks like maybe like the 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:25.959 size of a big greyhound. Well it looks it's. 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:27.440 Kind of yeah, it's kind of like a maybe a 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:28.720 Doberman size. 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:31.640 Yeah, it's big, and it looks like it's made of leather. 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:36.440 So it's pronounced queen tlea sholder. 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:38.040 Sorry say that again. 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:42.959 Show lo eats queen tea, which is spelled x O 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:47.760 l o I t z c u I n t 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:52.200 l I. No one in the world could possibly look 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:55.440 at that word and pronounce that correctly, unless maybe they 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:56.040 were Mexican. 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:01.520 I'm yeah, or I bet somebody could. Yeah, that's a 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:03.480 weird looking dog. What was it like in that that 0:02:03.880 --> 0:02:05.720 kind of like I was a bit intrigued and a 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:09.160 bit repelled and a bit curious what it's like. Kind 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.640 of ugly but almost beautiful. Ugly. 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.160 Look. I just saw it from a distance and it 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:19.080 looked like an old like one of those statues that 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:21.959 sits on the pillars of an old castle. It looked 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:25.680 like that had come alive out of stone and just 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:28.359 strolled on into sin Kilda. And they've got a really 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.320 beautiful temperament. They look like they would be kind of 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:35.200 an aggressive fighting dog. It's beautiful. 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:37.919 I would imagine they would be. They're probably called all 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:39.480 the time that would piss me off. 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:41.639 Yes, I had a. 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:44.280 Friend of mine. I had a friend of mine who 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.799 she used to breed hairless sphinx and I went to 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.800 replace one night and there were five of them, and 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:55.040 they had these weird jumpers on because they get quite cold, 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:58.679 and it's just like a bunch of house cats and jumpers. 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.720 So already it's like, oh, this is what people talk 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:04.280 about when they talk about like a really bad acid trip. 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:06.200 This must be exactly. 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:10.080 Like Wow, wow, I imagine hayless cat in a jumper. 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:12.560 You'd already have enough is shoes, having no hair when 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.320 all the other fucking cats have got here, and then 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:15.920 I just jump. 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.880 It was like little turtlenecks they were all running around in. 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:24.840 And they turned out to be, like most cats, highly 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:30.080 intelligent and so interactive and affectionate. Two of them climbed 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:32.480 me at the same time, at the same exact pace, 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:35.760 and both started licking each side of my head. 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:44.800 Wow, which we are we still having the same chat? 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:52.520 Are we talking about your box? Not? Because I think 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:59.960 those stories are interchangeable. Oh that's great, That's just great. 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.480 Welcome, Welcome to the show, everybody, And if it's the 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:07.160 three of you who are still here, we'll try and 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:11.800 regale you with some stories and some potentially something of 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:16.080 value that might help you, I don't know, do something positive. 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:19.280 With your life, or your time or your energy. TIF 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:24.120 what have you been up to this morning? Anytime? 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:28.200 Oh, anytime, anytime. I've been out and about a lot lately. 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:29.880 So this morning I tried to have a sleep and 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:33.440 I slept into a whopping six am, which is quite 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:38.560 quite a profound sleeping for me as of late. Been 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:44.040 enjoying the sun, eating cookies obviously, and catching up on. 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:48.440 Work, all the basics. Vital Well, Now, Fatty Harps is 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:50.120 on the home straight. I feel like I've been saying 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.240 that for fucking three years, but I'm actually on the 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:56.720 home of my PhD, my timeline, my candi. That you 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:00.960 finishes January sixteenth, so like it or not, it's coming 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:04.440 to an end, so there's absolutely no pressure with any 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:10.159 of that. And great sleep, great sleep. No, I'm actually 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:10.960 sleeping all right. 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:15.320 But I see the imprint of a birthday hat on 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:19.360 your head somewhere today, Can I see that? Oh? Wow? 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:21.520 I went and saw I went and saw Mary Harper. 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:26.000 And the old Da was eighty six yesterday, December three, 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:29.000 the year of our Lord, nineteen thirty nine, and o 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:33.360 domini she was now an interesting story. I don't know 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:36.240 if if you do bump into my mum anyone, don't 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:39.000 mention this because it's not the it's not the most 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:42.599 uplifting story. But my mom's mom died giving birth to 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:47.160 my mum, so my mom never knew her mum. So 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:50.360 it's like you know when you like, oh, who are 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.960 you like out of your parents, or it's like, well, yeah, 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:59.640 so she she was born nine thirty nine, first year 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:03.120 of the World War, and she's still around. And it 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:05.920 was great to see the old Dahl and the old 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:09.520 man is not you're not moving like a gazelle. Will 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:12.240 say that he's not going to do any fucking ten 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:16.279 k time trial anytime soon. But it was good to 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:19.479 catch up with him and eat some food and talk 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.760 shit and then head home at stupid o'clock and have 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.040 nine minutes of sleep and then get up and ingest 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.120 some caffeine just to get my brain working. And here 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.120 we are. What about you, Robert, how have you been? 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:31.000 What have you been up to? 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:35.479 I've been having a lot of caffeine as well, probably 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:39.520 a bit too much, just work. Last week was a 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:41.960 holiday here in the US, Thanksgiving? 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.400 What is the origin story of Thanksgiving? 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:46.840 For us? 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:50.560 Non Thanksgiving people? I know that I think a few 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:54.560 Australians actually celebrate it, but it's obviously not an Australian holiday. 0:06:55.920 --> 0:07:00.680 And I'm sure every American knows every once of the 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:04.760 story of its its genesis. But what can you bobby 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:06.240 a fight in sixty seconds? 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:06.600 For us? 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:07.880 What is Thanksgiving about? 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:12.800 Well, it's when the Pilgrims left Plymouth, England and landed 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:19.920 in well Plymouth coincidentally and by way of Holland. I 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:25.160 believe we leave that bit out, and they met the 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:30.040 Native Americans and they formed this lovely friendship because the 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:34.160 Native Americans helped them through the first hard winter, and 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:36.920 without the help of the Native Americans they would not 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:37.960 have survived. 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:41.840 And then to show their appreciation, they gave. 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:46.920 Them small parks and basically killed everyone in horribly violent 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:52.800 and sadistic ways. And every year we celebrate that on Thanksgiving. 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:57.280 What, well, that's the worst story I've ever heard. Are 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.200 you trying to depress any everyone? 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:03.840 Okay? School, well, school, you hear that? 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:04.280 Okay? 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:07.880 That they came in, they made great friends with these 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:11.160 Native American people who were very, very different from them, 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:17.360 and apparently the Pilgrims had enormous respect and curiosity about 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:21.280 people's differences. When you get to know the story, and 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:26.040 they had this big feast to celebrate how grateful they 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:29.960 were and they called this Thanksgiving, and you know, then 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:32.560 you get a little bit older and you start to 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.560 learn a little bit more history, and it's like, I 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:37.839 don't know, I don't know if if I could say 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:43.440 that the historical relationship between the indigenous people in the 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:47.600 United States and people who came over from Europe was 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:53.439 always defined as friendly. So what it depends on your 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:55.599 definition of the word friendship. 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.480 So what is it now like in twenty twenty five? 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:02.400 What is it? And I'm sure I'm sure that maybe 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:07.360 that for some people that the historical kind of relevance 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:11.079 may shouldn't have but may have disappeared, Like what is it? 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:14.600 And that story shouldn't be forgotten or it should probably 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:16.880 be taught and told more. But what is it in 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:19.400 twenty twenty five is where families just get together and 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:19.880 hang out? 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.880 Yeah? Now, I mean, now it's just the day to 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.160 get together. And I mean I don't want to be 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:30.720 cynical at all, and typically I'm not cynical. But for 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:35.520 for some people, I guess it's it's it's just a 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:39.560 really important national holiday. For other people, it's a reason 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.960 to get together with family members that you haven't seen 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:44.920 all the year. You know, some of which you love, 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:47.520 some of who you despise, and you get together with 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:51.439 them purely out of obligation. You eat a perverse amount 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:55.080 of food and drink, and you know, just pass out 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:55.680 in a stupor. 0:09:56.640 --> 0:10:04.640 Is there any kind of what's the word pushback? Like 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.720 in Australia, we have on January twenty sixth, correct me 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:12.679 if I'm wrong, tiff thing called Australia Day, and that 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.480 gets quite a lot of pushback because the origin story, 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:18.080 the story you just told us not that different, you 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:21.640 know for Australia. And I'm not trying to be political 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:25.640 or polarize anyone. I'm just curious, like, and there's been 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:31.960 a lot of let's say, argument and debate even conflict 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:35.280 around whether or not Australia Day should be a thing. 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:37.600 And I'm not saying it should or it shouldn't. I'm 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:39.640 just talking about what's been going on over the last 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:43.520 decade or two. Is there any pushback in the States 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:45.239 against this celebration. 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:50.480 I don't hear that much about Thanksgiving, and I'm sure 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.800 there is pushback, But we've had pushback on certain holidays, 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:57.920 like Columbus Day, for example. That's been an ongoing debate 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:01.600 because the story of Christopher Columbus it's not I mean, 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:04.680 there's a couple of different origin stories, let's just put 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:07.880 it that way. They don't line up with one another 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:12.000 very well. But but here in you know, the United States, 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:19.720 where we're very much against revisionist history, we like to 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:23.679 we like to confront the past, all of our achievements 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:28.839 and our mistakes, and take a sobering, honest view at 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.439 what we have done and who we are, and how 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:36.440 we can learn from that and just basically become better 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:43.120 people and build a society that respects differences and works 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.080 for as many people as possible. 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:50.520 It's the pulse button. Okay, I want to chat about 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.800 something else. Thank you for that. Thank you for enlightening me. 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:56.680 I was chatting with somebody this morning and sounds clachy 0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:58.880 and not true. It's completely true. And I've been asked 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.600 a version of this question a lot, and it was 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:05.760 essentially it wasn't exactly this question, but it was kind 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:09.320 of what they were asking, which is essentially, how do 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:13.240 I find my purpose? Right? Like? What I'm the thing? 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:17.960 And it's just a really it's an interesting conversation that 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.600 I wanted to open up for both you and also 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:22.319 around that. So what's my purpose? 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:22.520 Like? 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.679 Do I have one? Or maybe I have multiple purposes? 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:28.800 And what does that even mean? Purpose? Am I like 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:32.200 a utensil in my life? It feels like we just 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:36.120 have one thing that we are capable of doing. On 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:39.440 top of that, does my purpose stay the same or 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.560 can it change? Can it evolve? Was my purpose or 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:45.920 my focus or my life meaning or whatever? Twenty five 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.480 at twenty five the same as when I'm sixty two? 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:51.280 Does it need to be? Can I change my mind? 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:55.000 How do I find my purpose? Do I? Is it 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:59.800 some kind of spiritual or existential revelation or awareness that 0:12:59.880 --> 0:13:02.920 happens upon me. Or is it just like I have 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:06.640 an experience or I just literally make a decision. What 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:08.439 do you what are your thoughts around I'm going to 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.760 start with you, actually, Tiff, What do you in terms 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:14.040 of when somebody says to you life purpose? What do 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.079 you think about? Do you think of a single thing, 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.880 multiple things, or you don't think about that in that 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:19.440 way at all. 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:23.080 I think it changes, and I think it I think 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.520 of multiple things because it's evolved over time. And I 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:29.000 think the more we learn and evolve and land in 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:34.680 new places and when I have a different outlook, Like 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:39.400 you know, when I was living in Tazzy, my purpose 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:42.200 was just grow up, get a job, make some money, 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.200 do the thing. And then I moved and then my 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.640 world opened up and I read some books and my 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:51.080 world changed and my purpose became different, and it was 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:54.000 it was a different version of that same thing. Like 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.640 I when I went to India last year and I 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:01.720 stood on that mountain and I went, oh, huh, you 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:06.160 think that you're doing life so differently? Or sometimes I 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:10.320 have conversations on these shows and I think to myself, oh, 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.600 you think you're doing life so differently. You think you've 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.120 broken the mold. You are the mold like you are. 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.959 You have not broken any molds. You're still do the 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:22.480 same versions of things that are just one point removed 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:25.920 from that little box that you initially. 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:29.400 Thought was Like, I feel like I'm going to ask 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.120 you in a sec Bobby, but I feel like for me, 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:35.600 for me, my purpose has to be bigger than me, 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:38.160 Like it can't really be. Of course, it's a bit 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.960 about me, but it's really a bit about me being 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.479 of that. And I know this sounds cliche and bullshitty, 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:45.760 but it's true for me being of service and value. 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:48.960 And you know, like even with this show, hopefully people 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.240 enjoy it, Hopefully people get something from it. Hopefully people 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:54.560 get a bit of enlightenment or a bit of enjoyment 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.360 or a bit of inspiration, and then hopefully they make 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:59.680 a decision or two and hopefully they take some action. 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.720 Hopefully they create some results that they may not have 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:07.800 created had they not intersected with the you project. Hopefully, right, So, 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:11.160 I feel like, you know, there's when I used to 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.400 want stuff for me that I think that was just 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:17.120 more about my focus and my self centered kind of 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:20.720 needs rather than a purpose. I don't know that I 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.280 even had a purpose when I was young, other than 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:27.360 just fucking looking after me, which really it doesn't you know, 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.360 to me, purpose has got to be beyond me and 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:34.880 bigger than me, I think, Bobby, I'll go on, Tiff, Sorry. 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:35.960 I was just going to ask you about that. When 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.080 do do you feel like there was a moment where 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:43.560 you really landed on that idea of it being bigger 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:43.760 than you? 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:50.280 Luck? Yeah, I think without reopening a door that's been 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:54.160 maybe too many times and listeners, apologies, but I think 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.520 once I started to open the let's just call it 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.600 the god door, where I just came became more interested 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:05.920 in or curious about, you know, is there anything beyond 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:07.880 what I can see and touch and feel and what 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:12.640 I think is and try, you know, like, what does 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:16.000 that mean? And I think, really for me, when I 0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:21.160 became moderately successful, when I was moderately young, and I 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:25.320 was making you know, pretty good dough, and I had 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.880 a pretty good thing going on by the time I 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:31.760 was in my mid to late twenties. You know, I 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.480 wasn't rich, but I was, and even in the middle 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:38.560 of going great, I'm like, ah, this isn't bad. This 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:41.480 is definitely you know, my goal is not to make 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:45.240 less money, but clearly this isn't what it's about, because 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.040 I still the things that I felt, which is an 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:52.200 adequate and insecure and somewhat unfulfilled and periodically anxious and 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:55.400 a bit sad, and that was all still there. And 0:16:55.440 --> 0:17:02.160 then I realized my revelation was when I focus more 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:06.800 on others, I'm less selfish. And also there's and it 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.800 almost sounds selfish, like doing something for others to get 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.560 something for you. But I just noticed that when I'm 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:18.000 not all about me, and when i'm you know, genuinely 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:20.200 trying to be of value and service to others, I'm 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.639 a better version of me. And so I try to, 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:26.600 you know, at least have that attitude through the day. 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.960 And of course sometimes I'm a selfish prick, and sometimes 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.520 I'm all about me, and sometimes I'm unaware. So I 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:36.439 acknowledge all of that, but I know for me personally, 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:40.000 absolutely unequivocally, that when I have a purpose bigger than me, 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:41.399 I'm just a much better human. 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:44.399 Can you remember last question? Can you remember the first 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:48.560 big other focused experience that really hamm'd a home? 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:58.480 Well, I've had quite a few. The earliest one or 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:00.280 just one does have to be the first one. 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:01.520 Just one, No, just one? 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:05.679 Well, I just think again without playing a broken record, 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.399 like working with Johnny for all the years. John's a 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:11.040 friend of mine. I know, my listeners know. But those 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:14.159 three of you who don't, who got literally blown up 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:17.119 in an industrial accident of work accident, some gas bottles 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:20.199 exploded and all that, and so eight years ago, it 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.520 was eight years ago, about three or four days ago, 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.000 you know, and just and you know him. How beautiful 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:30.000 is he? How amazing is he? Yeah? And I mean, 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:33.679 here's this guy who's got a traumatic brain injury. He's 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:35.439 got to put a thing up. He's a wizor to 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.240 have a whee. He's got a bag for pooh. He's 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:39.280 got a spinal cord. He knows. He doesn't mind me 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.400 talking about this, like he can't pooh, he can't where, 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.159 he can't have sex. He's in constant pain. He's got 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:46.680 a spinal cord injury. He's got a traumatic brain injury. 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:50.960 His life is I mean hard, doesn't come close, right, 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:55.760 Never complaints. You've probably been in the gym four five 0:18:55.840 --> 0:19:00.439 hundred times when he trains. Never complaints, just doesn't plane. 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:03.240 And for me to be able to be to be 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:07.960 a tiny bit of something positive in his life gives 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:12.560 me so much more joy than anything I do for myself. Yeah, 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:16.719 you know so, Bobby, Sorry for leaving you over in 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:18.840 the virtual corner all that time. 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:22.800 It's not the first time it's happened. I mean, that's 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:25.040 the virtual corner. This is the first time in the 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:31.040 virtual corner. Feels a little bit different. I think everyone 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:34.719 has a purpose. I think we need to define it. 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:37.760 Like when we say purpose, what exactly are we talking about? 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:40.280 Good question I'm talking about. 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:45.320 When I say purpose, is what happens when you have 0:19:45.359 --> 0:19:49.439 a strongly rooted value, something that's really meaningful to you. 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:53.479 Like let's say love of learning. That's something that is 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:56.959 meaningful to me, and when I engage in it, it 0:19:57.000 --> 0:20:00.800 makes me feel more alive. Now when you go out 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:04.480 and you express that in the world. Let's say I'm 0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:07.960 sitting around a coffee table and I'm sharing these ideas 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:11.399 that have deeply impacted me and I found them to 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:15.600 be valuable and they impact other people around me. 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:16.720 Not everyone around me. 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:18.520 Some people couldn't give a shit and wish I would 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.040 like shut up and stop going on about this book 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:24.280 I'm reading, but other people it impacts them in a 0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:28.680 way that elevates their well being, either in the moment 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:33.680 or long term. And when you are expressing those values 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:39.200 in a way that impacts people to elevate their well being, 0:20:39.440 --> 0:20:41.760 I believe that is your purpose. 0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:49.320 Yeah. Yeah, So have you changed your mind or changed 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:54.200 your focus or change your trajectory along the way? I mean, 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:56.399 I know I've changed my mind on many things, and 0:20:56.440 --> 0:20:58.320 I've had to unlearned things and know and up to 0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:01.119 things I got wrong. And but what about you? 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:02.480 Have you like? 0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:05.200 Is are you pretty much just a twenty year older 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:09.000 version of the blow from two decades ago? Or are 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:11.240 you different? And if so, how and how is your 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:14.879 focus and your purpose and passion different? 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:18.560 If it is, I hope I've changed. I hope my 0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:22.280 focus and lens is different. I'm not all that sure 0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:25.719 that my values have shifted that much, although they do 0:21:25.800 --> 0:21:30.480 shift year to year. I've taken I like the via 0:21:31.359 --> 0:21:37.960 assessment from doctor Morton Seligman because it's coming from the 0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:44.000 perspective that your highest values and your signature strengths are 0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:47.359 one and the same. And I strongly believe that, and 0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:52.880 I think that has a lot of utility to it. Yeah, 0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:58.399 if you are living out a value consistently, you're probably 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:01.200 going to develop some skill. You're probably going to develop 0:22:01.280 --> 0:22:05.479 some proficiency within that area, whether that shows up in 0:22:05.560 --> 0:22:10.840 work or parenting. So I like that concept. So every 0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:15.320 few years my value shift, but my highest values they 0:22:15.400 --> 0:22:19.240 might shift in order a priority, but they stay fairly consistent. 0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:26.480 Mm. Is there something, Tiff, Is there something over the 0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:29.040 last I don't know how long that you've changed your 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:33.159 mind about that or you think you got wrong or 0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:35.960 in the context of the big picture stuff life, how 0:22:36.000 --> 0:22:40.639 you live, you know, maybe even values. Is there something 0:22:40.680 --> 0:22:43.120 that you've changed your mind about there doesn't need to be, 0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:45.040 So if there isn't just go no, not really. 0:22:45.119 --> 0:22:52.280 But I think I have an awareness that I would 0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:56.399 like to and am not yet stepping out to expand. 0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:01.880 I don't know what I've experienced and what I where 0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:03.639 I want to end up or what I want to do. 0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:05.760 Like I just yeah, I don't know. I'm very aware 0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:08.400 that I maybe to a degree, I love what I'm 0:23:08.440 --> 0:23:13.200 doing and I love where I'm heading, but I I 0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:15.640 don't know, I don't know what I'm trying. 0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:17.920 How much of us? So all three of us get 0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:20.560 in front of audiences, right, Yeah, I'm going to start 0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:22.440