Speaker 1: Tiffany Cook, Gray Yamba, It's Jumper, It's Fatty Harps over
Speaker 1: here at Fatty Harp Central.
Speaker 2: How are you, oh mate?
Speaker 3: Now that I can see you wearing those earphones today,
Speaker 3: I am so happy.
Speaker 1: I know you're like a pig and shit over there
Speaker 1: at Bloody TIFFs Central because I'm wearing the I'm wearing
Speaker 1: my headphones that you told me to wear because otherwise
Speaker 1: I get too far off Mike, and I do this
Speaker 1: and it sounds terrible because my voice goes quiet, and
Speaker 1: then I come back on and then you can hear me.
Speaker 1: And you people who edit the show call me a
Speaker 1: dickhead and other bad names, and so here I am.
Speaker 3: Now that's a fib Tell everyone that you're phibbing.
Speaker 1: Actually, you know the problem with this is I can't
Speaker 1: actually hear myself in these earphones, but anyway can try.
Speaker 1: And I don't know. Maybe I've got the other I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just this is terrible. Don't have it
Speaker 1: one two. I don't know. I can't hear me in there,
Speaker 1: but anyway you can hear me. Yeah, I got a
Speaker 1: fucking Climby start to you would think that this was
Speaker 1: episode two, not episode nearly two thousand.
Speaker 2: But we just each time getting better and better.
Speaker 1: Are we are?
Speaker 3: We are?
Speaker 1: We don't Sometimes I listen. Sometimes I listen to myself,
Speaker 1: like I'm you know, somebody will say something that they
Speaker 1: heard something and they liked it, or they didn't like it,
Speaker 1: or usually it's that they liked it, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: and then I have a listener, I'm like, ah, fuck,
Speaker 1: that's terrible. I still don't. I still don't like listening
Speaker 1: to myself. The only reason I will is just to
Speaker 1: basically critique whether or not it as a show, or
Speaker 1: whether or not you know, what I can do better
Speaker 1: and what I'm doing that needs to change or more
Speaker 1: of or less of? Do you listen to.
Speaker 2: Any of the other day?
Speaker 3: I noticed that, Like I hear myself all the time
Speaker 3: on my show, on your show all the time. But
Speaker 3: when I hear myself on a show I've done on
Speaker 3: somebody else's show, yeah, it's like it's like watching an
Speaker 3: Australian movie on TV and going, oh, we sound funny.
Speaker 2: I go, oh, what a cringey voice, so.
Speaker 3: Bogan, And it's likely I don't know why I noticed
Speaker 3: it on other people's shows are not mine. There's like
Speaker 3: some switch in my brain that goes, oh, this is
Speaker 3: the guest and it's you, and she's a massive bogan.
Speaker 2: Hmmmmmm embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Well I don't. I don't think you sound like a bogan.
Speaker 1: But you have a definitive Australian sounding voice, which I like,
Speaker 1: I like, you know, I like that. But yeah, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's funny because it's not bogany and it's not unsophisticated.
Speaker 1: You have a pretty good vocabulary and you're pretty smart,
Speaker 1: so it just happens that you have You know that
Speaker 1: you have a very ozzy kind of pronunciation. Aren't you whole?
Speaker 1: Now brown coal now brown cow? You know roberts Am. I, well,
Speaker 1: she's not exactly. I mean she's she doesn't really. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know Kate Middleton. Let's say that, yes, you know
Speaker 1: Princess Kate. But then I'm no Princess Bill either, I
Speaker 1: mean Prince Bill. Oh god, So you've been crook. What's
Speaker 1: the update. It's as we record this, it's one thirty
Speaker 1: six month, y obo. You've been crook. You've been projectile
Speaker 1: spewing apparently, And might I say, I haven't seen you
Speaker 1: for four or five days, and I'm glad because whatever
Speaker 1: you got, I don't want it. And you were giving
Speaker 1: me in some detail the kind of the whole visual
Speaker 1: before on the phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was because it's been brutal.
Speaker 3: It's been brutal, but the last two days I've got
Speaker 3: the energy exeris violently ill physically for the first twelve
Speaker 3: to twenty four hours and then in bed for a
Speaker 3: couple of days. But like just the energy that it
Speaker 3: takes from you, I guess dehydration, no food, throwing up
Speaker 3: a bug in perhaps a bug in your system. I
Speaker 3: couldn't believe how long it took me to yeah, not.
Speaker 1: Feel like haka, Well we're recording this, Like I said,
Speaker 1: Monday AVO early what when when was the main action?
Speaker 2: What day was that Wednesday night?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, it has been a long time. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: when did you how long did you feel terrible?
Speaker 3: For so terrible? Thursday and most of Friday, tried to
Speaker 3: kind of get some stuffable. I sat in this room
Speaker 3: and did a podcast with you on Friday, and halfway through,
Speaker 3: just even sitting in the heat and sitting up right,
Speaker 3: I was like halfway point, I went, oh, we're fading
Speaker 3: real fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, it was funny because I was doing
Speaker 1: it with someone else and you were producing, but I
Speaker 1: was watching you because you went from looking pretty normal too.
Speaker 1: She could die before the end of the.
Speaker 3: Show, sick like that, and you think you're okay when
Speaker 3: you're laying down. You're like, all right, well, come on,
Speaker 3: we're not being sick anymore. We've had a big rest.
Speaker 3: Let's hop up. And then you stand up and the
Speaker 3: whole world moves a little bit in a woozy way,
Speaker 3: and you go to this, Oh no, we can't.
Speaker 1: How's the girl who's somewhat addicted to training? How's she
Speaker 1: going without training for the best part of a week.
Speaker 3: It actually wasn't bad because I haven't been as a
Speaker 3: little training psychopath. Since I've been back. I've been more.
Speaker 3: I've been strength focused, obviously, and I did a little
Speaker 3: strength work out this morning. I did a tiny, little,
Speaker 3: barely barely strength work out yesterday just to move the body.
Speaker 3: But but I mean, you just have no choice when
Speaker 3: you feel like that, you know that there's no there's
Speaker 3: no mucking around. I'm like, I just need to rest
Speaker 3: and have frosty fruits and drink some more water first.
Speaker 1: Well, you can get out and do twenty thousand steps
Speaker 1: a day, like Jumbo.
Speaker 2: You're stepping up a storm.
Speaker 1: I'm all over the joint. And I said, I did
Speaker 1: a little solo one yesterday all the day. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it was yesterday Sunday. It was out just amazing.
Speaker 1: It's like, I know I've said this, so if you
Speaker 1: listen to the episode, I apologize, but yeah, but I
Speaker 1: mean since I just I literally tripled my walking and
Speaker 1: it's so good. I just feel I've already done today.
Speaker 1: It's one thirty nine now I've done about ten thousand
Speaker 1: steps and I'll probably do close to another ten before
Speaker 1: i go to bed. I've got a workshop tonight. I'm
Speaker 1: doing a potty with you. Now I've got to do
Speaker 1: some PhD. I tell you my mom is working better
Speaker 1: my not only just kind of creativity and clarity, but
Speaker 1: like my ability to stay present and focus. Last night
Speaker 1: I had a meeting with Chris, my senior supervisor, brother
Speaker 1: Christian for my PhD. That is, in case everyone's going,
Speaker 1: what does that mean? Does he work at Dalton have advisor? No,
Speaker 1: this is for my study, my research, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to be honest. I sometimes in those meetings I struggled
Speaker 1: to stay really present because it's deep and it's long,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's it's it's not which has got
Speaker 1: nothing to do with him or me or it's not
Speaker 1: fun you know me, I'm like a fucking child. Is
Speaker 1: there any way we can make a PhD? I don't know,
Speaker 1: like a party? No? No, none, none, And it's it's so.
Speaker 1: And I was meeting with him last night, so I've
Speaker 1: had a bit of a revelation. I feel like I
Speaker 1: need to go to confession. You've never been to confession,
Speaker 1: have you?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No? No? Do you know? Do you understand the concept
Speaker 1: in Catholicism? You would have seen it where in movies? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: people jump into a little box, So kneeling next to
Speaker 1: a bloke in a dress that's in another little box
Speaker 1: next to you with a little kind of I don't know,
Speaker 1: kind of a mesh cloth thing between so you can
Speaker 1: hear but you can't see each other, and you confess
Speaker 1: your sins, which I did manty times growing up. Is
Speaker 1: how weird is that? Let's just think about that. Think
Speaker 1: about that as a so what you do you're going,
Speaker 1: you know, but when you're a Catholic, you don't think
Speaker 1: about it. Oh you walk in that see that little
Speaker 1: box over there with that little Weeni door. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: walk in little weenie door and there's a thing we know,
Speaker 1: and it's like kind of down on the floor and
Speaker 1: a bit of better. Didn't you kneel on that? Okay?
Speaker 1: And then what well, then there's another bloke next door
Speaker 1: who's sitting on a chair and you're going to tell
Speaker 1: him all your sins are like, oh, okay, and then
Speaker 1: what happens? Ill then he will absolve you. What does
Speaker 1: that mean? Oh, that means he'll clear it up with God.
Speaker 1: He'll take them off your soul and then you're good
Speaker 1: to go. You've had you know, it's like you've had
Speaker 1: a spiritual transplant. You goot to go no more. And
Speaker 1: then per chance, if you get hit by a truck
Speaker 1: when you walk out a confession, you going to heaven.
Speaker 1: If you get hit by a truck on the way
Speaker 1: to confession, you're fucked because you've got these sins on
Speaker 1: your soul. Right, So I grew up in that. It's
Speaker 1: funny when that's all you know, you don't think, oh,
Speaker 1: this is weird, isn't it? Like is anyone else anyone else?
Speaker 3: Just me?
Speaker 1: Like there's a man in there in a long black
Speaker 1: dress with a dog collar, and I'm telling him all
Speaker 1: this shit that I've done, or thought about, or want
Speaker 1: to do or and he's gone hmm hmm. And then
Speaker 1: he goes, I absolve you from your sins and name
Speaker 1: the Father's son the Holy Spirit, and then he tells
Speaker 1: you your penance. Do you know what that is? No,
Speaker 1: that is the prayers that you've got to say. So
Speaker 1: he might say something like you've got to say five
Speaker 1: our Fathers and twenty Hail Mary's. So then you've got
Speaker 1: to go out and you've got to kneel down and
Speaker 1: and this is basically your your punishment or your fucking
Speaker 1: ticket to spiritual freedom for another month or two or three.
Speaker 1: It's just when I think about it now, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh God, really.
Speaker 3: What do you reckon? That does to your so many
Speaker 3: layers of things, like your level of perceiving wrong and
Speaker 3: right of self, of shame, of being able to do
Speaker 3: things and just have them absolved by telling some bloke
Speaker 3: in a little wooden box.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it's it's funny because it's like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff that feel free to tune out listeners
Speaker 1: because I'm going to talk a little bit about religion.
Speaker 1: But I am fascinated because of my background in the
Speaker 1: psychology of religion more than the theology of religion, right,
Speaker 1: So I'm fascinated with how we think about it and
Speaker 1: how it makes us think and belief and division and
Speaker 1: fucking chaos and war and hatred and self righteousness and
Speaker 1: all that which happens. As I've said to you before,
Speaker 1: there's twelve major religions. There's over four thousand minor religions.
Speaker 1: So you know, we're talking four thousand plus religions in
Speaker 1: the world, and for the most part, all of those
Speaker 1: religions think they are the one true religion. And while
Speaker 1: there might be other similar religions, you know, like even
Speaker 1: under the banner of Christianity, which is a major religion,
Speaker 1: they're like a bunch of different denominations or a different
Speaker 1: versions of Christianity. And you know, like I grew up
Speaker 1: in the Catholic Church that thought it was the one
Speaker 1: true church, and the Church of England and Anglican and
Speaker 1: Uniting Church and Baptist and Fundamental Christians that they were
Speaker 1: all lost, you know, and then so too then I
Speaker 1: went to a different church which thought, you know, and
Speaker 1: taught and it's not. These things are not ideas or suggestions,
Speaker 1: these are mandates. Like this is this is taught as
Speaker 1: absolute truth. So when you grow up in an environment
Speaker 1: that's totally familiar to you, with people that are totally familiar,
Speaker 1: and a protocol and a culture and an energy and
Speaker 1: a theology that you've never known anything different, Like you
Speaker 1: don't walk out one day and go, I don't think
Speaker 1: that's blue when you're looking at the sky, Like you
Speaker 1: know it's blue because you know what the sky is
Speaker 1: because someone taught you at some stage, and someone taught
Speaker 1: you that that color is blue. Now, if you'd never
Speaker 1: been given any information, you wouldn't know what the fuck
Speaker 1: it was. You'd recognize it, but you wouldn't know its name.
Speaker 1: And if you'd never heard about colors, you wouldn't know
Speaker 1: that it was blue. But just like you know that
Speaker 1: the sky is blue, when you are a Catholice, you
Speaker 1: know that the priest absolves or takes away your sins
Speaker 1: right and you never are given Nobody says, look, this
Speaker 1: is our working kind of idea. This is the working idea.
Speaker 1: We're not sure that it's true, but this is what
Speaker 1: we're going with, Craig, So look, you choose for yourself.
Speaker 1: But this is this is our current take. Nobody says that.
Speaker 1: And so you grow up and this happens in you know,
Speaker 1: this happens with everything. This happens with you know, different
Speaker 1: kinds of relationships and friendship groups and vegans and carnivores
Speaker 1: and crossfitters and endurance athletes and strength athletes and Collingwood
Speaker 1: Football Club fans and Hawthorne for you know, and so
Speaker 1: on and so on. It's just they're different groups of
Speaker 1: people who believe they're the best group essentially, or they're
Speaker 1: in the right group, as I've spoken about before, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's an interesting thing. So for me, yeah, when
Speaker 1: and then when I started to think I'm not sure
Speaker 1: about all this, Like if you're in a group and
Speaker 1: you question essentially the underlying basis or principles or ideas
Speaker 1: or philosophy or theology of the group, well you are
Speaker 1: definitely not encouraged to question, you know. And yeah, I
Speaker 1: just started it's like things just didn't make sense. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not even trying to be difficult or rebellious, but
Speaker 1: like when I was young, young, it was a sin, right,
Speaker 1: it was a sin for women to walk on the altar.
Speaker 1: So that is the thing up the front of the church,
Speaker 1: the altar. It was a sin in Catholicism. And then
Speaker 1: one day I'm at church and then there's a lady
Speaker 1: up on the altar and I'm like, Mum, I mean church.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was maybe eight. I go, Mom,
Speaker 1: how come there's a lady on the altar. She goes, oh,
Speaker 1: that's not a sin anymore. I'm like, what, Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: the pope changed it. I'm like, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, even I don't know how old I was,
Speaker 1: but I was young. I'm thinking, well, it's either a
Speaker 1: fucking you or it's not. Like it's a sin on Tuesday,
Speaker 1: but it's not a sin on Wednesday? Did God sanction that? Did? Like?
Speaker 1: Who makes these decisions? And even then I'm thinking, it
Speaker 1: feels like people make this up as they go, you know.
Speaker 1: And the problem even with this conversation right now is
Speaker 1: there are people that think, you know, our listeners understandably,
Speaker 1: just like me, they'll have a certain idea about I know,
Speaker 1: there really is a God and the Bible really is true,
Speaker 1: and there really is heaven and hell and judgment and
Speaker 1: eternal damnation and heaven and you know, eternity with the
Speaker 1: Father or there isn't that's all bullshit, or there's an Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like that, Craig, but it's more specifically
Speaker 1: it's like this. And so you know, when people have
Speaker 1: their own absolute, you know, fixed idea of what is,
Speaker 1: then you know that's where we come in for all
Speaker 1: the bloody mayhem that we come in for, because people
Speaker 1: are not comfortable to say, this is what I believe,
Speaker 1: but I could be wrong, and you know that's hard.
Speaker 1: It's like there's been many like I have been wrong
Speaker 1: many times, and there are still things right now twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four that I believe or I think they're true,
Speaker 1: but I also am aware that they might not be true.
Speaker 1: And the reason that I say that is because I've
Speaker 1: been wrong so many times. And you have to acknowledge, like,
Speaker 1: if you think that everything that you think is unequivocally right,
Speaker 1: then life is going to be hard for you or
Speaker 1: you're going to have a lot of conflict and confrontation.
Speaker 1: And also, at the risk of sounding judge, it's extremely
Speaker 1: arrogant and self righteous for you to think that all
Speaker 1: of your beliefs are true and correct and absolute and
Speaker 1: everyone in the world who doesn't think like you is wrong.
Speaker 1: I don't know what is true, but this is what
Speaker 1: I believe. And by the way, I could be wrong,
Speaker 1: as I have been many times before.
Speaker 2: Don't ever tell you that.
Speaker 3: I worked a long time ago for a guy who
Speaker 3: was an exclusive Brethren.
Speaker 1: I've heard about them. That's like a pretty fundamental Christian sect.
Speaker 3: I think. Yeah, So I worked for him. So they
Speaker 3: and at that time they were no tech. They weren't
Speaker 3: allowed to have TVs, mobile phones anything. I had three
Speaker 3: mobile phones. I worked for him doing websites. He had
Speaker 3: an IT and a website and a design company, right,
Speaker 3: and they weren't even allowed to have mobile phones yet
Speaker 3: he had that whole company.
Speaker 2: That's what we did.
Speaker 3: And sometimes they would take us out for a company lunch,
Speaker 3: and the girls that work for him, he would say,
Speaker 3: I need you guys to walk like three meters behind,
Speaker 3: because if anyone from my church sees me, I'll get in.
Speaker 2: A lot of trouble.
Speaker 1: So he was basically living a double life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then eventually I remember him one day saying, oh,
Speaker 3: mobile phones are allowed now, mobile phones, they're not banned
Speaker 3: in the religion anymore. Because obviously someone in the real
Speaker 3: and decided that they they're not a sin.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It was really interesting.
Speaker 1: This is the thing, is like when you behave a
Speaker 1: certain way when one group of people are looking, and
Speaker 1: then when they're not looking, you behave a certain another way.
Speaker 1: You know, at the very least you're not living your values,
Speaker 1: you know, in one area in one of those groups.
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, who's recently found the Good Lord.
Speaker 1: Jesus Jordan Peterson?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Has he? Russell Brand?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Follow him? Yeah, he's got the whole god thing.
Speaker 1: Do you know who baptized him in a river on
Speaker 1: his own property? Bear grills really really yeah? Wow, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's getting higher on the Messiah fire. Old Russell, He's
Speaker 1: just he's just, you know, if loving the lord's wrong,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be right, brothers and sisters. He's
Speaker 1: he's going hard, I mean real hard, you know, I
Speaker 1: kind of you know, whether or not somebody is a
Speaker 1: Christian or an atheist, or a Muslim, or a Buddhist
Speaker 1: or a Seventh Adventist or a Mormon or a scientologist
Speaker 1: or whatever, or a fucking vegetarian. What I look at
Speaker 1: is one, are you doing any harm to anyone else?
Speaker 1: And if the answer is no, I'm like cool. And
Speaker 1: then what else I look at is what is the
Speaker 1: net result of this thing that you are now doing
Speaker 1: that you weren't doing? Is your life better? Without condoning
Speaker 1: or accepting or supporting or saying whether or not he's
Speaker 1: right or wrong, I would look at him and you know,
Speaker 1: try to I guess, observe over time whether or not
Speaker 1: he his life and his output, and how the fuck
Speaker 1: I would measure that I don't know. But if he
Speaker 1: genuinely seems to be doing better things, doing better himself less,
Speaker 1: self absorbed, less selfish, less addictive, he's talk he talks
Speaker 1: about all this stuff all the time, then you go cool.
Speaker 1: Well for him, that is great. You know, there's another
Speaker 1: guy called Sam Harris. Have you heard of Sam Harris?
Speaker 1: So Sam Harris does very well, for the most part,
Speaker 1: very anti religion. But it's not just that he's he's
Speaker 1: he understands that some people get a lot of benefit
Speaker 1: from religion, but his against the fundamental We're absolutely right,
Speaker 1: they're absolutely wrong. And you know, because the truth is,
Speaker 1: the uncomfortable truth for religious people, including me, is that
Speaker 1: we don't have proof of a god, you know, and
Speaker 1: if we had absolute proof, then there would be no
Speaker 1: need for faith, because faith is literally believing in something
Speaker 1: for which you have no evidence. Right now, that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean there isn't a God. It just means that we
Speaker 1: all believe in or some of us believe in this,
Speaker 1: this deity, this entity, this supernatural something that we can't
Speaker 1: and there's no consensus. By the way, four thousand religions
Speaker 1: refer to part one of the podcasts. You know, like,
Speaker 1: there's no consensus, there's only divergence and disagreement and separation,
Speaker 1: you know. So, But I think, I think with whatever
Speaker 1: you know, whether or not it's strength training or Christianity,
Speaker 1: or whether or not it's living in a fucking kibbutz
Speaker 1: in Israel, or it's it's leaving a certain job and
Speaker 1: working in nature, I think, what is the thing that
Speaker 1: you were doing now that you weren't doing, and what
Speaker 1: is the net result in terms of the quality of
Speaker 1: your life and the quality of your physical, mental, and
Speaker 1: emotional health and also your impact on others.
Speaker 3: M I wonder like things like religion can become very
Speaker 3: all encompassing, and then that's what I think can shift
Speaker 3: your views or relationship with a lot of different things
Speaker 3: and I think that's where it, like I noticed. I
Speaker 3: said to my one of my clients this morning, I said,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to unfollow a bunch of pages that
Speaker 3: I've been supporting on social media because like around violence
Speaker 3: against women and women's deaths and things, because there's been
Speaker 3: so much of it lately, and after seeing that dude
Speaker 3: in the flesh the other day, my internal reaction, it's
Speaker 3: just starting to give me this cognitive bias and this kind.
Speaker 1: Of need to explain to people that dude in the flesh.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 3: So I pulled up at the lights next to the
Speaker 3: man who was let out on bail, who was charged
Speaker 3: with hiding Isla Belle's Isla Belle Isla Belle's body after
Speaker 3: being murdered, and it's just it's really shifted me. And
Speaker 3: I've noticed that, and I was just like, it's making
Speaker 3: me angry, and it's and it's making me have reactions
Speaker 3: to things, and it's just kind of there's this underlying
Speaker 3: buzz there and I'm like, I'm just gonna have to
Speaker 3: unfollow all the pages is that show me that stuff
Speaker 3: for a little while. Not that I don't support it
Speaker 3: or care about it, but I just like I said
Speaker 3: with religion, it's just it's becoming a bit all encompassing
Speaker 3: and making me, I don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 1: Well, and I think also, like we're not we're not
Speaker 1: pretending that those things don't happen. Of course they happen,
Speaker 1: and they're terrible, and you know, whatever we can do
Speaker 1: to support women in this and to stop all the
Speaker 1: evil bullshit. But I think there is and not just
Speaker 1: with that, but there is a danger when you look
Speaker 1: at the world through a certain lens all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that's the only lens you look through as the
Speaker 1: I don't fucking trust anyone lens and and every every
Speaker 1: person is a potential predator and or every male and
Speaker 1: you know, part of me understands that. But it's going
Speaker 1: to be hard for humility to progress because you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's and so it's it's like, it's it's dichotomy
Speaker 1: because on the the one hand, yes, we've got to
Speaker 1: be aware and we've got to keep pushing these messages,
Speaker 1: but also there are you know, there are some good men. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hopefully hopefully I'm one of them. You know, it's like
Speaker 1: and it's it's yeah, it is as like and also
Speaker 1: and let me just say, I think unequivocally women have
Speaker 1: it harder than men. So there's no sympathy being sought here.
Speaker 1: But men are still killing themselves three to one, you know,
Speaker 1: it's seventy five percent men committing suicide. And it's like this,
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, but they're men. Though, It's like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get it, but who's saying that. Well, it doesn't
Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't get much attention compared to the
Speaker 1: attention that that and like, firstly, all all the heinous
Speaker 1: stuff that's happening to women and girls, it needs all
Speaker 1: their attention, and it deserves all their attention. It should,
Speaker 1: but there's a and I could be wrong, but to me,
Speaker 1: it seems like if you're a man and you're talking
Speaker 1: about how hard it is to be a man, people like,
Speaker 1: fuck off, you're a man. And by the way, you're
Speaker 1: a white man and you're a middle aged man, so
Speaker 1: fuck off. Like, but the truth is that men and women,
Speaker 1: children and adults, you know, all cultures, all religions, like,
Speaker 1: we're all humans and all people suffer. And it's not
Speaker 1: that one is less or more important. But you know,
Speaker 1: like I get a lot of messages from people saying,
Speaker 1: like the Jamie steedman that we had on the other day,
Speaker 1: and it was great chat, and we're going to get
Speaker 1: him back and it's in a great and important conversation.
Speaker 1: We're going to have more. But I probably get fifty
Speaker 1: emails from people saying talk about that, do that, but
Speaker 1: maybe not one to fifty about men. It's like, and
Speaker 1: it isn't that men are more important at all, But
Speaker 1: I just think we need to have conversations all round,
Speaker 1: and we need to try to understand what's happening. You know,
Speaker 1: can I tell you an interesting story. I haven't told
Speaker 1: you this. No, I haven't told you this. So the
Speaker 1: other day I was doing one of my walks right,
Speaker 1: and to me, this is like, I don't even know
Speaker 1: I fuck it. This is just absolutely true. So however
Speaker 1: it comes out everyone, I'm not trying to make any
Speaker 1: particular point, but this is just my experience. So it
Speaker 1: was on Saturday two days ago. I was walking down
Speaker 1: Hampton Street, so not far from where I live, and
Speaker 1: out the front of Saint Vincent de Paul. Right, I
Speaker 1: had my headphones on, so over your headphones, and I
Speaker 1: s walked past and I just kind of vaguely heard commotion,
Speaker 1: which is hard to hear with my earphones on. And
Speaker 1: I turned around and there was like what looked to
Speaker 1: be like a sixtysh year old lady wrestling with what
Speaker 1: looked like a thirty year old young man twenty five
Speaker 1: or something like, skinny dude, glasses. Not the kind of
Speaker 1: guy that is going to be looking for a fight.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't think, right anyway, I'm looking and then she's
Speaker 1: screaming and he's like no, and then just I didn't
Speaker 1: know what was going on. And there's a cafe right there,
Speaker 1: and then this lady's over the face having a sandwich.
Speaker 1: She's got sandwich coming out of her mouth, and she
Speaker 1: starts screaming at the guy to stop attacking her and
Speaker 1: all this, and then all these people are screaming at
Speaker 1: this dude. And anyway, what happened was there was a
Speaker 1: really expense handbag in the Saint Vincent de Paul, which
Speaker 1: was worth apparently thousands of dollars. It's like a designer
Speaker 1: bag that somebody must have. Anyway, this lady stole it.
Speaker 1: So this lady stole the handbag, and the dude was
Speaker 1: stopping the thief, right, So she was stealing this handbag
Speaker 1: and one of the shop assistants, a lady, asked him
Speaker 1: to stop her, to stop her stealing, so he followed
Speaker 1: her out and grabbed the bag. Now, all everybody did
Speaker 1: was they wanted to beat up the dude. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: she was a thief. He was trying to stop a thief,
Speaker 1: but because he was a guy, everybody wanted to punch him.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, hang on, hang on, hang on, what's
Speaker 1: going on? Hang on? And then just as I kind
Speaker 1: of I didn't do anything, by the way, I didn't
Speaker 1: fix save anyone, but as I moved in, and then
Speaker 1: she just bolted, and I'm like, you don't always know
Speaker 1: the story, you know, It's like this poor little dude,
Speaker 1: he was borderline having a breakdown, and there's no way
Speaker 1: he would have intervened. And then this lady, fortunately, the
Speaker 1: lady in the store who asked him, she came out
Speaker 1: and said thank you, you're a hero, and gave him
Speaker 1: a hug, and it was all good. But I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: because at the just initially like everybody was just ready
Speaker 1: to take this dude to the ground, but it was
Speaker 1: actually what everyone thought was going on wasn't going on.
Speaker 1: So you know, and of course I'm always going to
Speaker 1: default to protecting the woman, of course, of course. And
Speaker 1: I was ready to fucking grab him by the hair
Speaker 1: and pull him to the ground and then but I
Speaker 1: didn't actually know what was going on. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: I went ah, oh, so yeah, anyway, that was my Saturday,
Speaker 1: as my.
Speaker 2: Saturday, watch a Saturday.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, it's fucking busy. I've had a
Speaker 1: couple of I've I know, we've got about five minutes ago.
Speaker 1: I've had an interesting I had a meeting last night
Speaker 1: with my told you, with my supervisor, Christian, and I've
Speaker 1: got about six months to go. You know, Christian trained
Speaker 1: at the gym. I've got about six months to go. Now.
Speaker 1: It's fair to say everyone, I haven't been breaking any
Speaker 1: academic records. It's like if my PhD is everest. I'm
Speaker 1: about one hundred meters above base camp. And while i
Speaker 1: have made progress, I mean, I've look in my defense,
Speaker 1: your honor, I've all the research that I had to do,
Speaker 1: the studies I had to conduct, I've conducted them. You
Speaker 1: have to pass for academic milestones. I've passed all them
Speaker 1: in front of a board. But I'm on the home straight.
Speaker 1: In that I need to be writing up everything. I
Speaker 1: need to be writing a systematic literature view, a couple
Speaker 1: of empirical papers. That just means a research paper that
Speaker 1: you write explaining and dissecting the research that you did,
Speaker 1: so two of them, and then a thesis, which is
Speaker 1: basically the story of my entire PhD journey. Let's just
Speaker 1: stay tiff. Based on where I'm at, I've probably got
Speaker 1: a good twelve to eight month's work left and it's
Speaker 1: all got to be handed in in six months. So
Speaker 1: let's also say that Christian kind of in the nicest
Speaker 1: way possible when get your shit together, like get your
Speaker 1: shit together? And he's literally said to me, how many
Speaker 1: hours every day can you commit to your PhD? Like
Speaker 1: how many days? And it's like pretty much, you said
Speaker 1: to me, you need to be doing four to six hours,
Speaker 1: seven days a week for the next six months. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, I know, So today was I mean,
Speaker 1: I've been working. It's just and it's no excuse. But
Speaker 1: the problem is me. But I do work full time,
Speaker 1: and I do do seven podcast a week, and I
Speaker 1: do fly around Australia, and I have probably bitten off
Speaker 1: more than I can chew a little bit, but nonetheless,
Speaker 1: so I got reprimanded by in a nice way but
Speaker 1: totally deserving. Right, I am one hundred percent the fault
Speaker 1: at the problem and then the other night or the
Speaker 1: other day. This is confession, right, So we're back to
Speaker 1: part two of the episode confession, so it comes to
Speaker 1: the full circle. I don't even yeah, I just want
Speaker 1: to share this because I've felt bad for two days,
Speaker 1: fucking terrible, right, So I'll tell you who af faired,
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to on air. So I am.
Speaker 1: I was chatting with some friends of mine, a couple,
Speaker 1: and I said something that was It was said in jest,
Speaker 1: but it was me. Remember I told you when I
Speaker 1: was young, I had this sole wise dude in my
Speaker 1: life said to me, you know, you need to be
Speaker 1: careful with your mouth because you can build.
Speaker 2: People up or tear them down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tear them down. And I'm like, yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: and and I and I spend my life trying to
Speaker 1: encourage and support people and build them up, and I
Speaker 1: feel like that's my mission. But sometimes like a little
Speaker 1: door opens and I'll be a smartass or I'll crack
Speaker 1: it whatever that in hindsight, right, So I did that.
Speaker 1: I said something and one hundred percent my bad wasn't
Speaker 1: meant to be hurtful, wasn't meant to be, but looking
Speaker 1: back now, it was, it was, and I felt bad
Speaker 1: to it. I apologized, and I even I've sent two
Speaker 1: messages apologizing and also apologized in the moment like seventeen
Speaker 1: seconds later. But you know when you're just like, I'm
Speaker 1: one hundred percent at fault. I fucked up. I've been
Speaker 1: hating myself for two days because I'm like, I'm the
Speaker 1: guy who tells you how to be aware of how
Speaker 1: you're coming across, Like that's literally your fucking PhD, you idiot.
Speaker 1: And I just said something that, when in my head
Speaker 1: and coming out of my mouth, was meant to be
Speaker 1: like a bit of the equivalent of a verbal punch
Speaker 1: on the shoulder, you know whatever. But it wasn't. It wasn't,
Speaker 1: and there was yeah, And once it's done, you can't
Speaker 1: undo it. And so that's my little confession. I feel
Speaker 1: fucking terrible. Anyway. All I can do to fix it
Speaker 1: I've done. I've sent multiple messages. I apologized.
Speaker 3: Human God, if there's one thing that I say, it
Speaker 3: is people in my life can can make any mistake
Speaker 3: as long as they own up to it and fix
Speaker 3: it and be honest. But I can't tolerate stuff behind
Speaker 3: you know, behind your back, or being said or or
Speaker 3: you know, like untruths, and so I think completely forgivable,
Speaker 3: especially see seventeen seconds lady. I went, oh, that's I knew.
Speaker 1: I knew, and then I saw that, so it's a couple.
Speaker 1: I saw the look on her face and I went, oh,
Speaker 1: that did not that wasn't and it wasn't. It wasn't like, oh,
Speaker 1: she just took it the wrong way. Oh you know,
Speaker 1: it wasn't that. It was me. It was all me,
Speaker 1: and I totally own it.
Speaker 3: Got on you for owning up and got on you
Speaker 3: for Yeah, I think.
Speaker 2: That take could be, but it still does.
Speaker 3: To deflect, it's really easy to deflect and go they're precious.
Speaker 3: It's easy to say that than to say I shouldn't
Speaker 3: have done that and I'm.
Speaker 1: Sorry, Yeah that look I know, I mean, but I
Speaker 1: hope I do that all the time, like when I
Speaker 1: fuck up, which is less these days than I used to,
Speaker 1: but I still fuck up. And I you know, I
Speaker 1: think that that part of the you know, part of
Speaker 1: what we're about which is personal and professional development and
Speaker 1: you know whatever, it is the human experience. If you
Speaker 1: don't ever fuck up, or you don't ever own up
Speaker 1: to fucking up, then you probably fuck up a lot,
Speaker 1: you know, and you probably deluded. But I feel bad
Speaker 1: that I did it, But I feel more bad that
Speaker 1: I hurt her. I fucking hate hurting people, and I did.
Speaker 1: I heard her, I heard her feelings, and yeah, I
Speaker 1: fuck if I could take back that moment in time,
Speaker 1: which I can't. But anyway, so that's me off to
Speaker 1: the rumor mirrors for a fucking look at myself again.
Speaker 3: I'd give you your penance, but I don't know any
Speaker 3: nursery rhymes or something.
Speaker 1: All right, and what's on for you? For the rest
Speaker 1: of day, I put.
Speaker 3: A knuckle down and catch up on all this lost time.
Speaker 3: I've just got to do some planning and editing and.
Speaker 2: Grown up staff.
Speaker 1: Well goodye gum drops, all right, Well thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: Father tiff.
Speaker 2: It's my pleasure son.
Speaker 1: Say three Hail Marys and funk off your little sinner,
Speaker 1: your little sinner, dirty little sinner. Oh it's so funny
Speaker 1: now when I think back, literally it doesn't matter. I
Speaker 1: can't say I can't. I'm going to get in trouble again.
Speaker 1: Fucking hell, I'm gonna have to get I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to filter myself more. I'll tell you, I'll tell you
Speaker 1: our air. We're probably losing bloddy listeners that are rapid
Speaker 1: rad as we speak.
Speaker 2: Thanks TIV, Thanks Harps, Thanks everyone,