WEBVTT - Olympia Valance has some news… 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.760 Hello, and welcome to Something to Talk About the Stella Podcast. 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:15.280 I'm Sarah Lamarquin, your host and Stella's editor in chief. 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:17.960 Every week I sit down with some of the biggest 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.280 names in the country because when Australia's celebrities are ready 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:23.720 to talk, they come to something to talk about. 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.600 And my guest today, well, she has something very big 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:28.440 to talk about. 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:33.000 Late last year, Olympia Vlance opened up about the difficulty 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:36.839 she and her husband, former AFL player Thomas Bell Chambers, 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:41.560 encountered while trying to start a family after a rollercoaster 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:45.640 of four years which saw her experience multiple pregnancy losses 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:49.720 and undergo IVF, Olympia decided to speak out because she 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:52.880 wanted anyone else going through the same thing to feel 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:56.120 less alone. She was also getting to a point where 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:58.360 she felt it might be time to close. 0:00:58.000 --> 0:00:59.920 The door on her fertility journey. 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:05.400 And then earlier this year, Olympia took a pregnancy test. 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:08.960 Eight weeks went by, and then nine weeks went by, 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:16.039 ten weeks went by, thirteen weeks scan went by and yeah. 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:16.000 I'm pregnant. 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:19.440 Joining me on today's episode is Something to Talk About. 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:23.120 To reveal her long awaited baby news. Olympia admits she 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:28.080 has mixed feelings about going public, knowing firsthand how bittersweet 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:29.600 such announcements can be. 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:33.680 I haven't posted a photo on Instagram for a couple 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:37.319 of months because I obviously look pregnant, and I've got 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:40.959 this sick feeling in my stomach about announcing, because of 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:43.640 what that feeling, what that will do to other people. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:46.200 Olympia and I. 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:49.560 Get into all the details, including a gender reveal and 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.640 a few hints on the baby name. We also chat 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:56.480 about Logi's red carpet fomo, why so many of our 0:01:56.520 --> 0:02:00.720 most famous actors really do love their neighbors, and whether 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.880 she has any plans to follow her sister Holly's lead 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:08.120 by speaking out about politics. Before we begin, a warning, 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:11.919 this conversation touches upon pregnancy loss. If you or someone 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.480 you know is struggling, then you can find links in 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:21.959 our show notes for support. Olympia, Welcome to the Stellar 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:23.560 podcast and something to talk about. 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:26.079 Thank you, it's so nice to be here. Haven't done 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:27.280 a podcast for a while. 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:30.919 Well, we're very nice to people, so hopefully this will 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.880 be a good experience for you and get you back 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:38.880 into podcasting more regularly. Olympia You are a regular fixture 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:42.520 at Stella. You have been in the title many many 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:46.960 times over the years. Your last appearance was in October 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:50.160 of last year, where you were speaking about you had 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:54.120 just recently opened up on Instagram and gone public with 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:59.760 your experience as you and your husband, Tom Bellchambers were 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.639 trying to start a family. You spoke about how you 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:07.960 had gone through multiple pregnancy losses, you had embarked upon 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:12.440 IVF that was ten months ago, and wanted to bring 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:16.600 you back over to you what's been happening since then? 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:17.600 Ten months ago? 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:21.600 It's been quite the journey, hasn't it. Yeah, I guess 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.080 the last time I spoke to you guys, I was 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:29.400 just I think I was just starting IVF, and to 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.160 be honest with you, it was it. 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.800 Was quite an easy process. Like I had. 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:39.600 I was going into it very very very nervous. I 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:42.000 was scared about what, you know, the hormones would do 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:46.360 to me body changes. I'm not good with hormones at 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:47.080 the best of times. 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:48.000 Like I've taken. 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:52.240 Drugs to help ovulation and things like that, and it 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:55.280 just mentally it didn't sit well with me. So that 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:58.040 was a part that I was incredibly scared about. But 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.160 when we kind of got into it, I think think 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:03.680 it was because we were taking a step forward to 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:05.760 the direction that we wanted to be, we wanted to 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:06.320 have a child. 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:08.080 It just it was quite easy. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:11.960 And I did get pregnant the first couple of times 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:16.240 that I did IVF, but I couldn't hold them, and 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:20.440 that was I probably haven't spoken about that since. So, yeah, 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:25.599 we did go into IVF and it was an easy process, 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:28.400 but it was also a very sad process as well, 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:32.800 and I was always planning to continue to document it, 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:39.080 but when you're in those trenches, you're just sat, you know. 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:43.679 And I would have liked to be able to talk 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:46.040 more openly about it because I know that people were 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:49.080 kind of waiting for an update, but I just found 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:54.159 I just didn't want to talk to anyone. Literally barely 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:58.560 picked up the phone to my friends, my mom, anyone. 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:00.120 And then. 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:05.760 We realized that I have a funny shaped uterus that 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:09.800 I think I think it's called a biicornial uterus, but 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:13.400 was quite extreme, and the next the next stage was like, Okay, 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:16.400 well you are getting pregnant, but you're just you're constantly miscarrying. 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:20.839 And the next stage was to have this surgery where 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:23.920 basically they sew your uterus up and make it look 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.640 like a normal uterus to give the baby more room 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:32.480 to grow. And that was scheduled for January of this year, 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:37.560 and then I accidentally got pregnant a week before that surgery, 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:41.640 and I just went into like a deep, deephole and 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:43.360 I was like, oh my god, I'm going to I 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:46.240 just I don't know if I can do another miscarriage. 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.160 And I was almost I was also saying to the 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.839 fertility doctors, I was like, should we just do like 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:53.360 I know that I'm not I don't want to go 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:56.440 another eight to ten weeks and then have a miscarriage 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:59.200 that I know that I'm going to have. Should I 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:02.880 just bought the baby and then do this do the surgery? 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:05.440 And they were like no, no, no, you know, miracles happened, 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:06.720 like let's just go through with it. 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:10.960 But I miscarried that baby as well, and so I 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:13.960 was just exhausted, exhausted. 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.560 So going from like a miscarriage to like three weeks later, 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:21.440 going and to this surgery and then the surgery didn't take. 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:26.040 They couldn't, they weren't able to perform the surgery. And 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:28.120 so after that, so I wake up, you know, drugged 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:32.040 out from you know, the anesthesia. And I woke up 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:34.400 and I and they told me that they couldn't complete it. 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:38.600 I'm like, well, that's it, you know, that's the end 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:42.279 of this. And over that past couple of months, I 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:46.760 was kind of already looking at life without a baby, 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.719 and all these things kind of were happening around me, 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.720 Like I was seeing these terrorist children around me. I'm like, well, 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:55.640 I don't want that anyway, you know. And I was 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.440 like okay, just trying to protect myself, like okay, well, 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:00.560 and I was saying to my husban and I was like, 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:04.400 you know, well, will this just be enough, you know, 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.920 you and I And he's like absolutely, and I'm like great, 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:10.400 because it's enough for me too, And we were really happy. 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:14.000 We got to a stage where okay, well this isn't working, 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:16.080 and if later down the track we want to pick 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.640 this up again. There's always options. We live in a 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:21.640 day and age where there are options. There's surrogacy, there's 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:26.680 you know, there's options. But I needed a bloody break. 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:29.640 I didn't want to think about it anymore. I wanted 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:34.480 to just stop thinking about it. I wanted to live 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.880 my life. I was sick of It's been like four 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:39.680 years of just thinking about babies. 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:42.760 I'm like, I'm completely lost myself. 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:48.000 And I didn't, you know, I don't know career. I 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:50.960 didn't know what I wanted my career anymore. I wasn't 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:54.440 driven Acazola was thinking about was this. 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:56.560 And then. 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:01.080 Thomas and I were being very very careful, like using 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:03.920 protection and it was like we were just dating again, 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:12.120 and then one slipped past the goalie and it was 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:18.240 very very depressing. It wasn't a happy moment, you know. 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:21.800 There was tears, and I'm like, I can't believe, you know, 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:24.920 we were being really careful, and I was also like 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:27.400 a couple of weeks away from getting an IUD put in, 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:30.160 and I'm like, I just can't believe this has happened, 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:34.280 like just out luck. And then eight weeks went by, 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.560 and then nine weeks went by, ten weeks went by, 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:43.800 thirteen weeks agan went by, and yeah, it just kept 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.240 growing and growing and growing. 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:49.840 So it's the miracle. Baby, I'm pregnant. 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:55.120 Congratulations, My goodness, Olympia, what an absolute roller coaster you 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:59.840 have you and Tom this past four years. This fab 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:04.160 I news. I can only imagine the complex emotions you 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:08.520 have gone through in the past few months. How far 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:10.480 along are you as. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:12.480 You and I speaking in mid August. 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:18.319 Twenty five weeks. Yeah, so I'm alone. 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:23.160 I know a lot of people that have experienced pregnancy 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:27.319 loss talk about that trepidation that you have then the 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:30.720 whole time, And of course you have also touched upon 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:35.200 this yourself, where there is that twelve week period, that 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:39.000 conventional period, and you're holding your breath. Has there been 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.000 a point where you've thought, Okay, I can start to 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:45.560 allow myself to let some of the guarded walls I've 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.640 built around myself to come down a little bit. 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.760 Yes, I think it was at this because I've been 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:54.880 getting more scans than usual because it's a high risk pregnancy. 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:59.120 I think it was at sixteen weeks when we were 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.559 at our skin at our scan and the baby looked 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:05.800 like a baby now, like it had hands, and you know, 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:09.079 it was kind of waving and you could see the face. 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:12.920 And then probably last week, a couple of weeks ago, 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:18.360 when I'm feeling the baby kicking and Thomas is feeling kicking. 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:19.800 How was that moment? 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:23.720 Wild? Like I've always wondered what it felt like to 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:27.280 have to feel something inside your stomach, like it's the 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:28.079 one feeling I was. 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.800 I wonder what that actually feels like. And it is 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:32.280 a weird feeling. 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.360 Because you can feel you can feel it just kind 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.840 of swimming around in there and it just goes kick. 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.720 It's like little flutters. It's a very nice feeling. But 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.600 I'm told that I'm at a good point now where 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:50.680 I'm kind of not too big everything, Like, I feel 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:53.360 really good at the moment, and I'm told it just 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:54.920 kind of goes downhill from here. 0:10:56.720 --> 0:11:00.960 I think it's called the golden trimest the it's sort 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:03.760 of literally the golden period in the middle. 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:04.920 I think every. 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:07.480 Trimester has its high and low points, so there will 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:08.520 be great times they have. 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:09.920 I'm sure that's right. 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:13.680 You are glowing as I speak to you. I wanted 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:17.000 to ask you about telling people. So first of all, 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:20.960 thank you, because what an absolute privilege to be sharing 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:25.319 this news today. It's a tweet thing for journalists to say. 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.960 I'm really honored that you have spoken to me about it, 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:30.760 but I am genuinely honored and Limpia that you have 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.320 trusted us and our audience with your. 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:34.960 So you guys have been along the journey with me. 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.120 I feel like we have, and that's why we really 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:41.400 when you were ready, obviously did want to pick it 0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:44.120 up because I know part of the reason that you've 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:48.079 been generous with your journey at times when you first 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:52.000 did open up about it late last year on social media, 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:55.800 was because you first found when you were encountering issues 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.400 when you and Tom decided to start a family, that 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.280 there were just things that you didn't know. Oh, you 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:04.200 didn't realize a lot of women, I think would feel 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.199 this same way that you did, where you said you 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:10.239 spend so much of your young life, your twenties thirties. 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:14.200 For people that are experiencing these issues further along than 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:16.439 you are in your twenties, we think I've been trying, 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:20.480 not absolutely, and then all of a sudden run into it. 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:24.360 It's obviously very validating and helpful for other people to 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:29.760 hear those stories. So is that something that has surprised 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:33.160 you the way that your story has resonated with so 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:35.959 many people as this journeys continue. 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:39.560 Absolutely. It's the thing is it's not just me. 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:43.240 There are so many so many people have come to 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.520 me since I started talking. 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.120 About fertility issues. 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.800 So many people are going through the same thing, and 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:52.800 there is still you know, a little bit of a 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:57.000 taboo around it, but I think that we're heading in 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:58.520 the right direction where. 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:01.400 People are talking about it more. But yeah, you're right. 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:03.400 You know, you spend so many years trying not to 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:06.319 get pregnant, and you think that, you know, when we started, 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:10.319 I was twenty eight, it's like, well, why isn't it 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:11.240 kind of happening? 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:12.439 And you do? You feel like. 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:17.520 You totally feel like a failure, like your body isn't 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:21.280 doing what it's meant to what it's meant to do. 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:24.920 One of the big things that I wanted to really 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:29.360 talk about around that kind of fertility is egg freezing. 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:32.240 Like I wish I'm actually one of the lucky ones 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:36.960 where I actually have a lot of eggs. But I've 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:40.240 realized that the egg freezing process is also incredibly easy. 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:44.160 So if you're you know, in your early twenties, mid twenties, 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:46.719 go and do it. It takes two weeks out of 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.640 your life and it doesn't even stop your life. You're 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:52.480 just doing an injection every day because they're the best 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.280 quality eggs that you can have when you're in that 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:58.720 you know, that age bracket, because they dramatically decline as 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.079 you know to say you can actually see the egg. 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:07.400 You can see it change every year, and it just 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.000 gets worse and worse and worse, and it just kind 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:13.720 of lets women have this freedom where they're not thinking 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:17.040 about their biological clock. They're like, Okay, well I've got 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.520 I've got great eggy's in the bank, and when I'm ready, 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:24.800 when I decide that I'm ready, not when I'm forced 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:26.960 to find a partner that I don't really you know, 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.560 want to be with because I need, I really want 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:32.880 to have a baby, and you kind of stop your 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:38.040 career because you've only got this kind of bracket of time. No, 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.680 I mean, you can freeze your eggs at a really 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:44.600 early age and have a baby whenever you want. And 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:47.800 I think a lot more like I've got girlfriends. They're like, oh, 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:49.160 you know, I haven't met any when I go. Have 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.880 you phrased your bloody eggs yet? Because it's one less 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.160 thing that you have to worry about because you know 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:58.600 that they're there, and everyone should do it should be 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:00.600 taught at school. Go freeze your egg as soon as 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:02.480 you leave, because they're your best eggs. 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:07.480 It's such a great moment in time for women to 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:09.600 have all of these options, isn't it. We know that 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:13.000 there's parts of the world where women's bodily autonomy is 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:17.000 actually being restricted, but we're so fortunate here in Australia that, 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:20.800 on the contrary what you're just talking about there, Olympia, 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:24.240 especially for young women looking ahead, there really is. There's 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:29.600 so much medical advances, technology, science support available, which is 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:33.200 why it's so important, whether it's somebody talking to their 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.680 sister or to their friend, or to a colleague or 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.480 somebody like you in the public eye sharing this story 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:43.280 through interviews like this or on your own social about 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:48.360 just empowering women to know that there are actions and go. 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:50.800 And I didn't know about those options until I was 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:56.840 going through IVF. It wasn't until they said, you know, 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.640 we've had a massive increase of young women coming to 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:04.560 freeze their eggs, and I'm like, it's not a difficult process. 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:08.000 It's actually a really easy process. But I just had 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.480 no idea about it because it's just not talked about. 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:15.440 It's interesting talking to you today, Olympia because just last 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:19.800 weekend the guests here on the Stellar podcast were Andy 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:25.360 Lee Harding, who recently engaged and we were discussing you know, 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:29.480 some of the public expectation that they have encountered over 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:31.680 the years about you know, when you're going to get married, 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.880 when you're going to get married, carrying you know, it's 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.280 well meaning sentiment, but you carried the way to sentiment. 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:40.480 And that then led into this conversation around the etiquette 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:45.160 and I think the ethics of asking people, asking women 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:48.000 in particular and women in the public eyes, such as yourself, 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.200 are you going to have a baby when you're trying 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.720 for a family? That sort of thing. We had a 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.920 really interesting conversation around and I realized, then, you know, 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.320 you are my business week and we're now talking very 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:02.600 open about this, and I'm asking all these sorts of questions. 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:06.160 But in my mind, that's because if we have parameters 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:09.639 and the conversation is driven by the person who is 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.840 when they are ready to speak, it actually makes these 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:17.280 conversations more powerful because I would never dare ask you 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:19.600 about this unless I knew it was something that you 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:22.040 actually felt quite strongly that you wanted to do. 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.000 Yeah, it is a funny thing, you know. 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:27.159 Obviously, early as soon as Thomas and I got married, 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:31.440 it was the next question everyone asked, So when are. 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:32.320 You having babies? 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:38.399 And I think people are kind of now becoming aware 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.000 that that's not kind of an appropriate question because you 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:44.400 just don't know what's going on. I'm okay, like I'm 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.159 happy to go. We're trying, you know, we're trying and 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:50.639 it's not working. But other people that's not an easy 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:55.439 question to have to answer. And also education around that 0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:01.760 is necessary as well. Like I've heard some real horror 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:07.120 stories where girlfriends have just had miscarriages and someone's going, 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:11.960 you know, are you you know you're looking pregnant. It's like, no, 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:15.439 I've just you know, had a miscarriage. They just kind 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.000 of questions you don't you don't ask like, you know, 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:21.240 you don't ask someone, oh, are you pregnant and they're not. 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:23.200 We've stopped asking. 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:26.800 People that exactly. You never know what someone's going through. 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:29.760 And eighty percent of the time it might be innocuous, 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:31.760 but the times that it is and it's already so. 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:38.840 Yeahful, Yeah, it is coming up. 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:42.199 Olympia on wrestling with the guilt to sharing her big news, 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:48.719 and we talk about her relationship with her big sister Holly. 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.440 I know, Olympia, when we spoke to you late last year, 0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:54.520 you spoke about again, I think so many people will 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:59.720 relate to this when you have experienced pregnancy loss or 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:03.959 you're or in the middle of a fertility journey, and 0:19:04.000 --> 0:19:06.600 then it feels like everyone around you is either pregnant. 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:09.240 I remember when one of my best friends had gone 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:11.680 through pregnancy lost. She said, I went to the shops today, 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.600 I'm telling every single woman there was, you know, six 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:17.879 months pregnant. You talked about, you'll go on to social 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:21.360 media or the magazines, everyone is pregnant. And then I 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:23.600 just wanted to talk about that because again, I think 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:27.200 you're aware or getting so much better about being aware 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:31.200 of that and handling this with sensitivity, which is why 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.840 I think your story is such an important one, because 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:38.160 there's so many layers to it of you know, difficulty 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:40.720 and complexity and some of the things you talked about 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.120 at the start about thinking, well, what would my life 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.639 look like if we didn't have children. We would be 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:50.480 okay with that, but then also this really happy news 0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:53.919 that you have that you should be able to bask in. 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:57.919 But then you're also aware that it could be unsettling 0:19:57.960 --> 0:19:58.399 for someone. 0:19:58.600 --> 0:20:01.239 All I think about now, it's like, even you know, 0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:03.359 there's a part of me that doesn't even I haven't 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:06.920 posted a photo on Instagram for a couple of months 0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:10.800 because I obviously look pregnant, and I don't, you know, 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:12.960 obviously didn't want to announce until I was one hundred 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:17.400 percent sure that this baby was you know, okay. And 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:20.879 I've got this sick feeling in my stomach about announcing 0:20:21.000 --> 0:20:23.800 because of what that feeling, what that will do to 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:30.080 other people. But it's also I have to celebrate these 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:36.280 little times, like there's been so many years of bad news. 0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:43.040 I've just got to celebrate this one. You know, this 0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:46.840 is good news. But I do I think I think about. 0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:53.400 I'm too much empathy. 0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:57.720 It's it's such an amazing quality empathy, and you're handling 0:20:57.800 --> 0:21:01.000 it always such sensitivity and empathy, and I for what 0:21:01.040 --> 0:21:02.919 it's worthing that is the best we can do in 0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:04.520 these situations where there is no. 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:05.320 Ana, what can you do? 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:10.200 And you are It's such wonderful news, and I'm genuinely 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:13.320 so happy for you, and I know everyone listening will 0:21:13.359 --> 0:21:14.800 be and want to come back to the people in 0:21:14.800 --> 0:21:18.639 your life. Let's come back to you. You're announcing it 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:22.280 literally as we speak, you are in the golden trimester. 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:25.320 I love to talk a little bit about the reaction 0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:28.920 first of all, of because obviously not you know, most 0:21:28.920 --> 0:21:31.399 people don't know, but who does know. You know, you're 0:21:31.520 --> 0:21:34.840 very very close with your mom, for instance, you've told 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:36.879 us in the past, is really your best friend? 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:37.639 Yes? 0:21:37.760 --> 0:21:39.840 How has the reaction been from the few people that 0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:41.760 are in the in the has been. 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:43.080 Really hard on the parents. 0:21:43.119 --> 0:21:48.919 I'm Thomas's mom my mum, and they're petrified to ask 0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:54.080 how anything's going because they feel the pain just as 0:21:54.160 --> 0:22:00.919 much as we as we do. So they also had 0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:03.080 the same feelings as us along the way. It's like 0:22:03.560 --> 0:22:06.040 no one could be happy, no one could be excited. 0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:09.720 There was never that where preglan, you know, we never 0:22:09.760 --> 0:22:14.600 got that. So they've been just as anxious as us. 0:22:16.200 --> 0:22:20.840 But you know, as the weeks go by, we say, 0:22:21.119 --> 0:22:22.840 you know, we tell them like, okay, well that scan 0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:25.240 went well, but just you know, don't get too excited, 0:22:25.320 --> 0:22:26.920 don't get too excited. 0:22:26.720 --> 0:22:30.800 Because we know that we're gonna let them. You know, 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:32.200 we're gonna let them down just as. 0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:35.119 Much as as as we get leapt out as well. 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:40.639 But God, now gay Thomas's mom is sending Thomas's little 0:22:40.640 --> 0:22:43.280 clothes from when he was a baby. I can't believe 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.879 she's kept all of those mom has sent me. I 0:22:45.920 --> 0:22:48.240 can't even begin to tell you the list of Greek 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:51.120