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Speaker 1: I'll get a team. I hope you bloody terrific. So

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you today about some of

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Speaker 1: the things that I have learned over the years of coaching.

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Speaker 1: I would I got to ask this recently on an interview,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, that's not about like, what's one of

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Speaker 1: the most important things one of the key things that

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Speaker 1: you've learned as a coach. So as a coach, as

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Speaker 1: a mentor, as a teacher, as a personal trainer, as

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Speaker 1: a high performance exercise scientist, all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 1: I put it all in the same bag. Let's just

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Speaker 1: call it working with people one on one or one

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Speaker 1: on group, or one on two or three or one

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Speaker 1: on team. But what have I learned on my journey

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Speaker 1: in my time helping people to self optimize, to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of their mind and body and training

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Speaker 1: and skills and talent and resources and opportunities. What have

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Speaker 1: I learned doing my job? And the reason that I

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Speaker 1: think this might be irrelevant and important discussion is because

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Speaker 1: so many of you that follow me and listen to

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Speaker 1: me are coaches, or your trainers, or your leaders, or

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Speaker 1: your managers, or your parents, or you're in some kind

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Speaker 1: of position either often or periodically where it's your job

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Speaker 1: to essentially coach someone. So even though you might not

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Speaker 1: do what I do or what I've done, I think

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Speaker 1: there'll be some ideas and some insights and some stories

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Speaker 1: in here that might be helpful to you. If not,

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Speaker 1: they might be interesting or not. So I've written down

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Speaker 1: ten things I could, literally I reckon. I could sit

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Speaker 1: here for two hours and come up with one hundred

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Speaker 1: insights or one hundred you know, factors that are important

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Speaker 1: when you're thinking about this. But I'll start with and

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Speaker 1: we might do another one see how this one goes.

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Speaker 1: But so number one, what forty years of coaching has

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Speaker 1: taught me Number one? Number one is I need to understand,

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Speaker 1: like really understand the person that I'm working with, that is,

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Speaker 1: understand how they think. And this is not new territory

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Speaker 1: for you and me. I'm sure if you've heard me,

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Speaker 1: But back back in the day, when I was at

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Speaker 1: nine and twenty years old and I was working in

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Speaker 1: gyms and I was writing programs, I wasn't a personal

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Speaker 1: trainer per se. At stage, I was a gym instructor.

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Speaker 1: I was writing programs and giving advice and roaming the

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Speaker 1: gym floor like a fucking panther, an insecure panther. Just

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Speaker 1: that should be That should be the title of the show,

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Speaker 1: The Insecure Panther, Just helping people. But I realized I

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Speaker 1: realized early days, and I maybe didn't articulate it this well,

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Speaker 1: but I realized early days that how much I understood

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Speaker 1: about you know, training an anatomy, physiology and dumbbells and

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Speaker 1: barbells and treadmills and all that kind of stuff and

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Speaker 1: helping people get fit, lean and strong and functional, all

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Speaker 1: of that was really important. But understanding the person that

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Speaker 1: I was working with was more important. Because if I

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Speaker 1: didn't understand them, if I didn't understand their values or

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Speaker 1: their goals, or their background, or how they thought, or

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Speaker 1: what inspired or motivated them, or what scared them, or

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Speaker 1: what their potential barriers were, if I didn't understand that stuff,

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Speaker 1: then I could not be a good coach. I could

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Speaker 1: not be a good trainer or instructor or teacher for them.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't really articulate it that way back then,

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Speaker 1: of course, But I didn't know early on that being

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Speaker 1: able to show someone how to do a deadlift or

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Speaker 1: a squad or whatever it was, a chinup or a

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Speaker 1: bench press was one thing. But being able to understand

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Speaker 1: the person in front of me and to be able

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Speaker 1: to build connection and rapport and trust and respect with

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Speaker 1: that person to help them get where they wanted to go.

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Speaker 1: They were two different things. And while it was important

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Speaker 1: that I understood how bodies worked and adapted to different

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Speaker 1: kinds of stresses in a training environment, it was more

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Speaker 1: important that I could connect effectively, communicate effectively, and build

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Speaker 1: a relationship effectively with that person so that we could,

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Speaker 1: over the long term, create the outcomes we wanted to

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Speaker 1: so and this is a really neglected component I think

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Speaker 1: broadly speaking, I'm talking in general terms. You may be

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Speaker 1: an exception to this, but I think broadly that people

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Speaker 1: don't really try and understand others. And there's that, Remember

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Speaker 1: I've spoken about that thing called the false consensus effect,

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Speaker 1: where we just assume that what we're saying they will

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Speaker 1: understand because we think we are speaking and because it

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Speaker 1: makes sense to us, therefore it will make sense to them.

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Speaker 1: But it's important to keep in mind that the only

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Speaker 1: person in the world who thinks like you, I mean you, listener,

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Speaker 1: The only person who thinks like you all the time

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Speaker 1: is you. The only person who lives in your mind?

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Speaker 1: Is you the only person who lives in your subjective reality?

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Speaker 1: Is you same with me? So it's almost crucial, or

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Speaker 1: it is crucial perhaps that we go into especially when

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Speaker 1: we're talking as strangers. We go in situations mindful that

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Speaker 1: they may not understand us or probably don't understand us,

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Speaker 1: and so it's important that we do our very best

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Speaker 1: to understand the window through which they are viewing this

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Speaker 1: moment in time. So understanding, remember, understanding is not agreeing

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Speaker 1: or aligning necessarily, doesn't mean you like them, doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: you support you. Know, you can have somebody who's got

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Speaker 1: diametrically opposed values, ideas, or beliefs, or political affiliations or lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't matter. You don't need to be like them, and

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Speaker 1: they don't need to be like you. You just need to

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Speaker 1: understand them so that you can coexist harmoniously. Number two

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Speaker 1: on my list of what forty years of coaching has

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Speaker 1: taught me is that people will lie about their behaviors.

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Speaker 1: And this might bother some people, and some people are

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Speaker 1: going to go, I never lie. Well, if you never lie,

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Speaker 1: you're a fucking unicorn. You're a human unicorn. Because anyway

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Speaker 1: people lie, let's not do a let's not do a

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Speaker 1: show on that. I think I might have done one.

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Speaker 1: But the truth is that when it comes to how

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Speaker 1: people eat and how people live, and how much they

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Speaker 1: drink and how often they exercise, and how committed they

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Speaker 1: are and what they did last time and what stopped

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Speaker 1: them last time and what they're when nobody's looking behaviors

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Speaker 1: and habits are, most people will lie. And that might

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Speaker 1: not be a popular thing to say, and it might

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Speaker 1: be a white lie, as my mum says, or it

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Speaker 1: might be something profound, and it might be every now

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Speaker 1: and then. You know. It's like when someone says to you,

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Speaker 1: do you want to go out tonight and hang out

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Speaker 1: and do this? And the truth is you are free,

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Speaker 1: but you just don't want to go out with them,

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Speaker 1: and so you but you don't say, look, I don't

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Speaker 1: really want to go out with you. I'm free, but

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Speaker 1: I just don't want to be with you. You'll say, quite often, yeah,

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Speaker 1: look i'd love to, or yeah I can't because I've

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Speaker 1: got this on all that on right. Well that's a lie,

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Speaker 1: that's an absolute lie. But it's a lie for a reason.

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Speaker 1: I'm not endorsing line. I'm just saying this is part

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Speaker 1: of the human experience. This is what happens. People fib

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Speaker 1: people bend the truth, people, you know, whatever you want

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Speaker 1: to call it. If it's not true, it's a lie.

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Speaker 1: And then so I would need to go into all

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Speaker 1: of my consultations and negotiations and interactions with clients, especially

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Speaker 1: when it comes to pera habits and personal behaviors, because

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Speaker 1: it is very hard to be totally vulnerable and honest

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Speaker 1: and real and authentic when we are talking about our

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Speaker 1: body or our values, or our beliefs, or the habits

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Speaker 1: that are not always productive or healthy. It takes real

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Speaker 1: courage to be able to do that. And all of us,

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Speaker 1: me included. Have I ever lied? Course, I've lied, course

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Speaker 1: of li I'd be the biggest liar in the world

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Speaker 1: if I said I've never lied. And this is what

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Speaker 1: we do, and we try to be the best people

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Speaker 1: we can, and I try to I try to be

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Speaker 1: as honest. I think you probably get the vibe that

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty honest and pretty straightforward, you know, But knowing

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Speaker 1: that a lot of people when it comes to this

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff are going to be somewhat deceptive or

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Speaker 1: reflective or perhaps you know, not completely truthful. I think

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Speaker 1: it's just good to know. So for example, I'll give

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Speaker 1: you one more example. I would say that ninety percent

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Speaker 1: of the people that I coached over the years who

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Speaker 1: filled out a food and exercise diary, that is, they

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Speaker 1: would their mandate for me was to write down everything

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Speaker 1: that went in their mouth, so whether not that was

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Speaker 1: one tic tac or a crust of bread, or a

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Speaker 1: glass of water or a fucking meal out, or their

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Speaker 1: job was to write down everything that they put in

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Speaker 1: their body so that we could have an accurate insight

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Speaker 1: to energy in and energy out micros and macros and

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Speaker 1: their habits and behaviors and time that they ate and

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Speaker 1: what they ate, and you know, so that we could

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Speaker 1: then build a model or a protocol that would work

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Speaker 1: for them. I would say ninety percent of what what

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Speaker 1: I saw, not ninety percent of what I saw was bullshit.

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Speaker 1: But I would say that ninety percent of the people

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Speaker 1: that filled out diaries would at times intentionally lie to

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Speaker 1: me or omit some information that is not tell me something,

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Speaker 1: And I'd say, I'd look at the page and I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I always knew, but a lot

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Speaker 1: of the times I knew. I'd say, Wow, this is

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Speaker 1: all you've eaten in the last four days, and yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I knew that was bullshit. I knew that was bullshit.

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Speaker 1: And so many times over over time, when I got

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Speaker 1: to know people better and I came to understand them

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Speaker 1: better and we built more trust and respect, they would

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Speaker 1: tell me that they used to lie because they didn't

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Speaker 1: want to be embarrassed. And I get it. I've lied

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to be embarrassed. Also number three

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Speaker 1: on my what forty years of coaching has taught me

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Speaker 1: list is And that's going to sound this might sound tough,

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Speaker 1: but in terms of my clients and the people that

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Speaker 1: I work with, my relationship with them is coach client

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Speaker 1: or coach athlete or or mentor mentee. The relationship is

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Speaker 1: not friend friend, It's not the relationship. It is very

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Speaker 1: difficult when you have built a different dynamic to a relationship,

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Speaker 1: and that is this is not a professional relationship anymore,

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Speaker 1: this is now a friendship. Well, that changes the dynamic

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Speaker 1: of that relationship, of course, but it also I believe

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Speaker 1: makes coaching in the sense that I'm talking about it now,

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Speaker 1: it makes it much more difficult. And while I really

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Speaker 1: cared about and do care about the people I work with.

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Speaker 1: First and foremost, I'm their coach. I'm their mentor, I'm

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Speaker 1: their teacher. My job is not to make them feel good.

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Speaker 1: My job is not to be their friend. My job

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Speaker 1: is not to stroke their ego or to make them

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Speaker 1: feel emotionally great for three minutes. My job is to

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Speaker 1: literally help them step into self awareness and accountability and

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Speaker 1: self regulation and self management, and to help them build

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Speaker 1: mental toughness and resilience so that they can become fucking amazing,

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Speaker 1: so that they can optimize their mind and body and

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Speaker 1: resources and they can produce better outcomes. My job is

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Speaker 1: to coach them to succeed. That's my job. That's the

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Speaker 1: role I take when I work with people. That's what

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Speaker 1: I want to do, that's what I'm good at the

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Speaker 1: moment that where buddies hanging out. That fucks things up.

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Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean I don't have friends. That doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean I don't want friends. That doesn't mean that it's

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Speaker 1: never happened that a client has become a close friend,

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Speaker 1: but rarely really, because I think what is best for

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Speaker 1: that person is that we maintain this coach, client or coach,

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Speaker 1: athlete or mental mental relationship, because that's what tends to

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Speaker 1: produce the best results. You as somebody who wants to

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Speaker 1: let's say, let's talk about you potentially as a client

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Speaker 1: or a mentee or a student of whoever. If you

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Speaker 1: have a coach, somebody in your life that you want

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Speaker 1: to help you fulfill your potential, explore your talent and possibilities,

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Speaker 1: and to create positive change and to build success, whatever

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Speaker 1: that means for you, I would strongly advise you to

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Speaker 1: find the person who is going to not necessarily be

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Speaker 1: the most comfortable for you to be around, but the

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Speaker 1: person that genuinely wants to help you succeed, the person

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Speaker 1: that will tell you, as I always say, what you

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Speaker 1: need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear.

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Speaker 1: I care about my clients, But do I care that

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Speaker 1: for the next five minutes that they're grumpy at me,

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Speaker 1: or pissed off at me, or don't like me? For

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Speaker 1: I don't care. I really don't care, because it's deeper

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Speaker 1: than that. It's bigger than that. If I care that

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Speaker 1: they're a bit, you know, they've got their nose out

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Speaker 1: of joint because I gave them a truth. They didn't

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Speaker 1: want to hear in the moment, or they're a little

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Speaker 1: bit pissed off at me, or or they don't like

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Speaker 1: me as much as I would like to like them

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Speaker 1: to like me. Right, Well, that's about my insecurity and

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Speaker 1: my fear, and my ego and my bullshit. I am

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Speaker 1: way more interested in how well my clients can improvise, adapt, overcome,

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Speaker 1: survive and thrive over the next few years, few decades

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Speaker 1: than I am in how much they like me for

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Speaker 1: the next few minutes or how comfortable they are for

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Speaker 1: the next few minutes. And if you are a coach,

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Speaker 1: mentor teacher, I would my advice is for you to

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Speaker 1: be that version. Doesn't mean you don't care, just means

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Speaker 1: you're giving people what they need to become resilient and strong.

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Speaker 1: People don't need to have their handheld, not in this capacity,

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Speaker 1: there are times when people do, but in this capacity

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Speaker 1: as a coach, as a high performance coach, then people

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Speaker 1: need you to help them to help themselves. Number four. Wow,

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Speaker 1: this is taken longer than I thought. Number four on

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Speaker 1: my list is that most things, not all things, but

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Speaker 1: most things most times are on a level a mind problem,

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Speaker 1: a mind challenge, a mind and also a mind solution.

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Speaker 1: While many of my projects, many of my responsibilities, have

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Speaker 1: been to help people change some kind of outcome with

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Speaker 1: their body, or with their sport, or with their business,

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Speaker 1: or with their study, or with relationships they were in,

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Speaker 1: or communication, or some kind of tangible, measurable outcome, what

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Speaker 1: was underlying the poor performance or the lack of outcomes,

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Speaker 1: or the ineffective protocol, or the inability to keep doing

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Speaker 1: the work. What was the underlying problem was often the mind.

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Speaker 1: So if like for example, helping someone get in shape physically,

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Speaker 1: sometimes the body is not the problem. Sometimes the body's

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Speaker 1: just the consequence of the problem. The problem is what's

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Speaker 1: happening in the mind. And what's happening in the mind

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Speaker 1: is bad choices, is bad behaviors. Emanating from those bad choices,

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Speaker 1: is self pity, is self doubt, is self sabotage, all

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Speaker 1: of these mind problems that have physical consequences. And so

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Speaker 1: while we do need a practical physical strategy, for example,

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Speaker 1: with helping someone get fit, lane, strong, functional, healthy, we

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Speaker 1: do need a practical physiological clinical approach to that, of

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Speaker 1: course we do, but also in conjunction with that, or

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Speaker 1: perhaps even before for that, we really need to help

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Speaker 1: people to be able to understand what is happening in

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Speaker 1: that space between their ears, because some people have got

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Speaker 1: good enough genetics and good enough knowledge, and good enough

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Speaker 1: resources and quite enough time, but what they don't have

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Speaker 1: is a mindset or an attitude or a set of

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Speaker 1: beliefs that are going to help them create lasting change.

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Speaker 1: And so while I really needed to understand, as I

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Speaker 1: said in my first point, the person, I needed to

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Speaker 1: understand sometimes what were the cognitive and or psychological or

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Speaker 1: emotional limitations that were going to stand in the way

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Speaker 1: of their potential and possibilities and deal with that stuff first.

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Speaker 1: The next thing I learned in forty years of coaching

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Speaker 1: was that I as a coach that me Craig Harper,

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Speaker 1: I need to walk my talk. I need to be

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Speaker 1: not that people need to look to me or inspiration,

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Speaker 1: but I need to make sure that the things that

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Speaker 1: I talk about, the things that I allegedly represent, the

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Speaker 1: things that I say are important. When I talk about

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Speaker 1: my values, when I talk about what matters to me,

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Speaker 1: when I talk about what is success for me, that

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Speaker 1: it needs to be apparent to people not because of

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Speaker 1: what I say, but because of how I live. That

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Speaker 1: I am authentic that I am living in alignment. Think

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Speaker 1: about the people that you know that say one thing

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Speaker 1: and do another. Think about the people that you've met

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Speaker 1: or seen or observed or perhaps no firsthand really well,

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Speaker 1: that live out of alignment. And they might be articulate,

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Speaker 1: and they might be knowledgeable, and they might be charismatic,

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Speaker 1: and they might be charming. But you know that away

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Speaker 1: from the person the persona and away from the spotlight

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Speaker 1: and away from the public gaze, you know that are

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Speaker 1: full of shit. You know that they don't do what

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Speaker 1: they say. You know that they don't do what they

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Speaker 1: tell others to do. And I've said this before, and

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Speaker 1: I've been open and honest about this. There were times

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Speaker 1: when I was teaching people, telling people, instructing, coaching people

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Speaker 1: to do things that I wasn't even doing consistently myself.

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Speaker 1: And at that time, I believe that I wasn't trying

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Speaker 1: to be but I was. I was a fraud. I

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Speaker 1: was something of an impostor because I wasn't even doing

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Speaker 1: the things that I knew to do because for a

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Speaker 1: range of reasons that I won't go into. And you know,

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Speaker 1: for me, this is an ever present awareness that I

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Speaker 1: have that I need to be congruent. I need to

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Speaker 1: be in alignment. I need to be authentic. One of

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Speaker 1: the biggest compliments for me is when people meet me

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Speaker 1: and they say to me, oh, wow, you're exactly like

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Speaker 1: you are on the show. You exactly like, oh, you're

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Speaker 1: just the same, And I love that. I love that

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Speaker 1: because that means the crag that you're hearing now is

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Speaker 1: the crag that you'll talk to at the cafe, is

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Speaker 1: the crag that you'll you know, chat to at the

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Speaker 1: event or wherever we might bump into each other. And

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Speaker 1: for me, that is that is who I want to

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Speaker 1: be and how I want to be. That's not to

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Speaker 1: say that I'm always perfect and you know, I never

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Speaker 1: fuck up, of course it's not that, but but I

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Speaker 1: think that as a coach and as a teacher, and

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Speaker 1: as somebody i'm talking about potentially, you know, but as

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Speaker 1: somebody that people look up to or will look up

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Speaker 1: to or want to rely on or trust or respect.

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Speaker 1: It is crucial that obviously for ourselves that we just

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Speaker 1: walk our talk, you know that we're in alignment, because

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Speaker 1: it's just the thing to do, but also that people

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Speaker 1: know who you are, not because of what you talk

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Speaker 1: about but because they observe you, they see you, they

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Speaker 1: see how you live, they see how you You know,

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Speaker 1: people can go to the gym seven days a week,

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Speaker 1: they'll see me there. I don't talk about training and

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Speaker 1: not train. I don't talk about stuff that I don't do.

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Speaker 1: You know, I can you can watch me in public.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure there's not going to be too many

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Speaker 1: things you'll catch me out. I'm not inviting you to

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Speaker 1: do that. By that sounds creepy, doesn't it. It's not

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Speaker 1: a personal challenge. What's my point? My point is that

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Speaker 1: all of us, you me, it's in our interest if

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Speaker 1: we want to be a respected coach, mentor teacher, to

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Speaker 1: ensure that that the theory that we teach is the

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Speaker 1: reality that we live. My next one is that while

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Speaker 1: people like the idea of change, like how many people

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Speaker 1: have you spoken to? How many thousands of people have

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Speaker 1: I spoken to? Who want to talk to me about?

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Speaker 1: How do I do this? How do I change that?

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Speaker 1: How do I get more of this less of that?

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Speaker 1: How do I how do I overcome that? How do

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Speaker 1: I build this? How do I learn that? How do

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Speaker 1: I you know, all of this is theory, how do

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Speaker 1: I how do I how do I What have I

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Speaker 1: got to do? What have I got to do? More

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Speaker 1: of less so and so on and so even with

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Speaker 1: this this you know, this show right now, this episode,

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Speaker 1: right now, you're listening to me talk. It's half an

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Speaker 1: hour or so of or however long it ends up

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Speaker 1: being half an hour or so of theory of ideas

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Speaker 1: of me talking. Right. But the value, the value in

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Speaker 1: the theory, the value in the ideas or the protocols

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Speaker 1: or the strategies, the value for you comes down to

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Speaker 1: your ability to operationalize the things that for you are relevant,

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Speaker 1: the things that for you are important, or perhaps the

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Speaker 1: things that for you need to be implemented. And there

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Speaker 1: might be one thing that I say today, one thing

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Speaker 1: that you know, shit, I should do that, or I

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Speaker 1: should stop that, or I should do more of that

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Speaker 1: or less of that. Well, then the challenge is not

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Speaker 1: that you've heard it or that you've had that light

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Speaker 1: bulb moment, and both of those things are good. But

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Speaker 1: the real challenge is what you do with that, Because,

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Speaker 1: like I just said, the idea of change is not

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Speaker 1: the reality. People love the idea because the idea, the theory,

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Speaker 1: the intention of change, the intention of personal growth, the

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Speaker 1: intention of getting fit and strong and building a business

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Speaker 1: and doing a course and overcoming a habit and creating

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Speaker 1: positive out. All that shit is easy when it's just

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Speaker 1: a theory, because you don't have to roll up your sleeves,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to get uncomfortable, you don't have to

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Speaker 1: step into the uncertainty, you don't actually need to do

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Speaker 1: anything because you're still just fucking living in the theory.

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Speaker 1: And this stuff becomes real when we step out of

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Speaker 1: the theory, step into the process, step into the doing,

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Speaker 1: step into the messiness and the chaos and the discomfort

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Speaker 1: of doing the work. Let's do a couple more. So,

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Speaker 1: I've got three. I think so that this next one

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Speaker 1: is really interesting, and this is quite different to all

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Speaker 1: the others, but I just thought I would chuck it in.

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Speaker 1: And that is forty years of coaching has taught me,

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Speaker 1: or it's given me real insight into the how do

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Speaker 1: I say this, the psychology of value? The psychology of value?

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Speaker 1: Think about you know, any coach, any professional coach or

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Speaker 1: dietitian or I don't know, mentor or personal trainer or

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Speaker 1: xis physiologist or gardener, or anyone who basically sells a

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Speaker 1: time for money or a skill for money. At some

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Speaker 1: stage there's a psychological agreement and a professional agreement on

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Speaker 1: what it is I'm going to Let's say it's you

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Speaker 1: and me, what I'm going to give you and what

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Speaker 1: you're going to get, and in return, what you're going

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Speaker 1: to give me back for the thing. And so this

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Speaker 1: is about perceived value. So if I said to you, hey,

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Speaker 1: do you want to do some coaching with me? And

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Speaker 1: you said, Craig, I would love to do a one

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Speaker 1: on one session with you, and I said, all right,

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Speaker 1: it's nine dollars fifty. Now, there's every chance that you

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Speaker 1: would think, what the fuck is wrong with him? Nine

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Speaker 1: dollars fifty? I don't understand. I don't understand. What do

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Speaker 1: you mean nine dollars fifty? I go, it's nine dollars fifty?

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Speaker 1: Is that okay with you? And you go how long

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Speaker 1: is that for? And I go an hour and you

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Speaker 1: go it's nine. Now there's this, there's this incongruence, or

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Speaker 1: there's this there's this kind of disconnect between because you

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Speaker 1: would have had an expectation of maybe what you think

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Speaker 1: it's going to cost, and then all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: you're like, well, he's maybe it's not the same Craig Harper.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's a is it a different Craig Harper? Because

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to get a coaching session with him

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Speaker 1: for nine dollars fifty Or you might go, Craig, how

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Speaker 1: much is it for an hour? And I go, it's

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Speaker 1: two grand? But if you pay right now, you can

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Speaker 1: have it for seventeen hundred, and then you'd think, fucking

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Speaker 1: he is he on drugs? Is he on seventeen Fuck

428
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Speaker 1: you're coaching? Right? So there's this kind of unwritten understanding

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Speaker 1: that we have of kind of what things are worth

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Speaker 1: right now. If you are a coach, or you are

431
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 1: a let's even say you're a psychologist working for yourself,

432
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: or you're a dietitian or a trainer or anyone who

433
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: like I said, you could be a landscape gardener, you

434
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 1: could be a painter, you could be a mechanic, it

435
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. But if you work for you, then at

436
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 1: some stage the psychology or the perception of what you

437
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: are worth is going to come into play. Now. I

438
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: am not talking about ripping people off or scamming people,

439
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,400
Speaker 1: but if I said to you, let's say you've got

440
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 1: a paint, I'm just star. I don't know why I

441
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: saw this. But let's say you've got to paint a

442
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 1: fence and it's three meters long ago. Here's the paint,

443
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 1: here's the fence. It's going to take you two hours.

444
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,679
Speaker 1: And you're like, all right, I've got the paint, I've

445
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 1: got the drop sheet, i've got the fence. It's going

446
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 1: to take me two hours. It's a nice day. Cool.

447
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 1: I'll listen to Harps on the You Project and I'll

448
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: paint the fucking fence, and I go, I'm going to

449
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 1: give you one hundred and fifty bucks and I'm going

450
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 1: to supply all the stuff. You're like, wow, seventy five

451
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,479
Speaker 1: dollars an hour. Now, depending on who you are and

452
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: what you currently get paid, you might go, yeah, that's

453
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: about me, or you might go, fuck, you're seventy five

454
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 1: dollars an hour. I'm worth one hundred and fifty dollars

455
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: or three hundred dollars or whatever it is, or you go,

456
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 1: fuck seventy five dollars an hour. That's amazing. And it's

457
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: not really about the money, as it is about your

458
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 1: perception of that money, and it's not really about what

459
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: Craig Harper is worth per hour, but rather what you

460
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: think I'm worth per hour. And it's not about what

461
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 1: you as somebody who is selling your time. I am

462
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:04,360
Speaker 1: your skill and your knowledge. It's not about what. It's

463
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: not like there is some absolute number. No, there is

464
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 1: just the perception that people have of you and what

465
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: they believe you are worth. So when over the years

466
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 1: many trainers have said to me something like I know

467
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,199
Speaker 1: I'm worth one hundred and fifty dollars an hour, and

468
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: I say, how do you know. I'm not trying to

469
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: be discouraging or negative. I'm asking and they go, well,

470
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 1: I just know now, while positive thinking is good, I go,

471
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: all right, so you know you're worth one hundred and

472
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: fifty an hour? Can I ask how many people are

473
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: paying you that? Usually the answer is none. I go, well,

474
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 1: what are they paying? And the answer might be eighty

475
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,719
Speaker 1: or seventy or ninety or whatever, and I go, okay,

476
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: so one hundred and fifty is pretty much double what

477
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 1: you're getting. I'm not saying that you can never get

478
00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty dollars. I'm saying what are people

479
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: prepared to pay now for you? And that's not to

480
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 1: say that that person can't earn one hundred and fifty bucks.

481
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 1: It's to say, if you want your hourly rate, if

482
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: you want your skill to be valued more highly, if

483
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: you want there to be a perception of excellence and

484
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:31,239
Speaker 1: worth and value, then you need to create that. You

485
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 1: need you need to be able to do what you

486
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: do at a high level, especially when you are swimming

487
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: in an ocean of people who are doing similar things.

488
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: You need to give people a reason if you are

489
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: a coach to want to be coached in whatever whatever

490
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: kind of coach you are, or whatever kind of landscape

491
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: guarden you are, or whatever kind of corporate speaker you are,

492
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 1: or whatever kind of service you offer you. We need

493
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: to be able to give people a reason to say, Look,

494
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: I know there are lots of fill in the blank,

495
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: but this guy, this girl is fucking amazing. I know

496
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: there are lots of dieticians around, but you need to

497
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: go and see Donna, you need to go and see whoever.

498
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: I know there are lots of trainers, but this guy's

499
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: a fucking superstar. I know there are lots of people

500
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: that could paint your house, but this bloke, this girl

501
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: is amazing, Right, And so it's understanding that and then

502
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: then with that thinking to yourself and starting to consciously

503
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:41,719
Speaker 1: work on building that perception in an authentic way. And

504
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 1: so the easiest way to do that, by the way,

505
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: is not despite what people might tell you, is to

506
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: just chuck endless fucking things on Instagram or social media.

507
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: And does that work for somebody? Yes, for some people, yes,

508
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: it does for a while and in a limited way.

509
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: But if let's say that you know you are selling,

510
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: let's say you're worth X per hour, X dollars per hour,

511
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: whatever that is. But all of a sudden, you've got

512
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: this brilliant marketing campaign and people are paying five x.

513
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: Well when people experience the product, Guess what if you're

514
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: giving them a one X product and you're charging them

515
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: five x, do you think that's good or bad for

516
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: business over time? Because people are not dumb. The best

517
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: way for you to build your value, the best way

518
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: for you to create that impression of high value is

519
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: for you to be fucking great at what you do.

520
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: Be great at what you do. When I go to

521
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 1: a company and I'm paid quite well, and let's say

522
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: they pay me five X, I go to a company,

523
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 1: I'm doing a forty five or a one hour forty

524
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: five minute or one hour keynote, or I'm doing a

525
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: three hour workshop or whatever. It is. My intention. If

526
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: I'm being paid five x, my intention is to give

527
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: them a ten X product and charge them five x.

528
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: My intention is to be fucking amazing. Doesn't mean I

529
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: always will be, but my intention is to give them

530
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: one hundred and ten percent. Silly, I know, one hundred

531
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: and ten percent of my energy and my skill and

532
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: my knowledge is to give them every I want to

533
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: be amazing in that time for them, so that they

534
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 1: feel like they got a bargain even though they're paying

535
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 1: lots of money. And I think that's not the worst strategy.

536
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: Let's just do one more. And my last one is this,

537
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: coaches plans are good. You need a plan, you need

538
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: a strategy. I think it's good to go into a

539
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: meeting or a coaching session with you know, some kind

540
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,479
Speaker 1: of idea of where you're going and what you're going

541
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 1: to do do and potentially have some kind of framework

542
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: that you typically work within. But it is maybe even

543
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: more important that you can throw all that shit out

544
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:03,719
Speaker 1: if you need to. Sometimes having a set plan, a

545
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: set protocol, a set framework which is rigid, which is

546
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: not flexible. It's I'm going to sit down and I'm

547
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: going to coach this person and we're going to go

548
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 1: through steps one to ten. And it doesn't matter how

549
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: the fucking session's going. It doesn't matter what I'm seeing

550
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 1: or not seeing, hearing or not hearing. No, because this

551
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: is how I do it. This is how I do coaching.

552
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: I do coaching this way. Well, guess what that same

553
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: protocol might be fucking great for some people and terrible

554
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: for In fact, not might will be. It will be

555
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: the strategy of the plan or the protocol or the

556
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: operating system that is great for me that you coach

557
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,719
Speaker 1: me and it works. You coach someone else that doesn't work.

558
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: You use that for me and you build connection rapport.

559
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: You use it with somebody else, and you build disconnection

560
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: and distrust because they don't think you're fucking paying attention,

561
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: because they're trying to tell you shit, but you're plowing

562
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: on with the process. So plans are good. But so

563
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 1: is adaptability. So is situational awareness. So is the capacity

564
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 1: to be flexible in the moment. Who knew I reckon

565
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: I could do another one of those. Let me know

566
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 1: if there was something in that for you. If you

567
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 1: don't follow me on the You Project podcast, or if

568
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 1: you're not a follower or you're not a member of

569
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: that group, I'd love you to be one. It's just

570
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: called the U Project podcast on a podcast group, I

571
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 1: think it's called on. Some of you know this already,

572
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 1: some of you don't on Facebook. If you've got something

573
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: out of this, jump on and let us know. If

574
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 1: you've got any ideas for future kind of coaching or

575
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: these kind of monologue or these kind of just me

576
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,320
Speaker 1: kind of podcasts. If there's an area or a topic

577
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: that you'd like me to explore, I'm happy for you

578
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:00,359
Speaker 1: to give me ideas and make suggestions. Also going to

579
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,240
Speaker 1: do a quick plug and that is that on February three.

580
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: February three, which is not too far away, my new

581
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: ten week mentoring program kicks off. If you like the

582
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 1: way that I teach and coach in these podcasts, then

583
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 1: you're probably going to enjoy that. It's not for everybody,

584
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:24,720
Speaker 1: it's for some, it's not for all. It's not inexpensive,

585
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: I think that's another word for expensive. It's ten weeks.

586
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: It's a small group, and some people really really enjoy it.

587
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 1: Some people get great value and great benefit. I'm not

588
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: good at selling, so I'm not going to try and

589
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 1: sell you on it, but just go to my if

590
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: you're interested, just to find out about what it's about.

591
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: There's actually a ten week syllabus there of what we're

592
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 1: doing a snapshot of each week's kind of subject matter.

593
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: So just go to my website, which is craigharperdot net,

594
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: click on education and have a look at that. All right,

595
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 1: your bloody champions say next time