WEBVTT - It's Time To Tell The Truth... (Part 5) 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:04.120 Hello, and welcome to the final episode of the Bali series. 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:07.960 I'm now back in Australia and I've spent the last 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:12.680 forty eight hours reflecting following the online discourse this content 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:16.479 has created. And you know, this trip was initially just 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:20.960 meant to be about exploring the ever changing, unrealistic beauty 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:25.560 standards forced upon us and the impact that influencers actually 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:28.000 have on those who follow them. 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.560 Whole internet note is talking about this rib controuring. 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:36.559 It's rib contouring, not removal, because revel would be stupid. 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.200 But over the last week or so, it's become something 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:40.680 much bigger than that. 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.200 Where did you find out about this rib conturing surgery? 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:48.240 Because it's not it's not currently available in Australia. 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:51.040 And in a weird way, it's become about all of us, 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:52.960 let me get my ribs done? 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:56.000 How we view ourselves? Is it dangerous? 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:59.040 Like it feels like a proper body modification that could 0:00:59.080 --> 0:00:59.840 be dangerous? 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:01.480 How we view those around us? 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:02.960 And I want to say, like, I reckon. 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:05.120 Kylie Jennar for sure has gotten this done. 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:10.560 And the hypocrisy, double standards and performative outrage that is rampant, 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:15.440 not just across the influencer industry, but society, and. 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:17.480 She's not advocating for the procedure. 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:21.039 I will say now in advance that this podcast is 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:22.959 going to anger a lot of people with. 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:24.640 Blue ticks on Instagram. 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:26.920 And in this episode, you're gonna hear me talk to 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:29.559 someone from below Deck who has now had the rib 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:30.639 surgery done in Bali. 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:33.399 My friends were like, you're not actually gonna do that. 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:34.160 That's insane. 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:37.000 And you're gonna hear from people like Stella, who shares 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:40.160 her own surgical regrets for the first time. 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:44.120 But was it worth it? Was it really really worthy? 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:45.800 I don't think so. 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:49.240 I'm also gonna call out some people who may respond 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:52.440 and bite back, and I'm gonna share a story from 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:56.160 Bali that I haven't yet, which I'm not gonna lie 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:58.200 breaks my heart a little bit. 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:00.760 I'm very big on my body, my chol and. 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:03.680 I'm also going to expose a side of the influencer world. 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:05.920 It seems that no one is ever brave enough to 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:11.320 yes my choice. But personally, I'm sick of biting my tongue. 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:11.560 Now. 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:13.519 I think my body my choice, you know. 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:17.840 I like, So, with this extra dramatic intro out of 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:23.519 the way, I want to hear my body, my choice, 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:25.360 my choice. 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:32.079 Let's finally get to it. Yeah, the truth, I'm not. 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:34.480 Saying it loud, and I want to hear my body, 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:35.359 my choice. 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:37.640 This is going to be a long episode. To bear 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:38.680 with me, please. 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:42.760 Firstly, some of you have asked why most of my 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:45.680 content is just focused around Beck, who was so set 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:48.840 on getting the rib contouring surgery. Then she backed out 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:51.480 on the day of it to spend more time contemplating it. 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:54.000 But as of right now, the point I'm recording this 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:57.440 on Thursday, I believe that she will go through with it. 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:59.639 And the reason I have focused mostly on Beck is 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:03.120 because she's just someone I know the most, and there 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:05.640 was a real story there, and there were so many 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.600 wider points to make off her story, and for me 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:12.280 to then bring in, like everybody else, to other influencers, 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:15.760 in my opinion, it would just lose the impact of 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:17.960 the points I've been raising, and you know, with all 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.920 those other voices, I also thought it would start to 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:23.840 just feel like I'm endorsing this surgery, which, as I've 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:27.640 said from the very start, I'm not. But when Beck 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.200 did back out and I later saw a girl named 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.880 Ali Dare who some of you may know from below 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.320 deck sat by the pool the day after her surgery, 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:39.960 wearing the corset thing you must wear for ten weeks afterwards, 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:43.760 which permanently shapes their ribs that they've just had fractured 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:47.000 and turned inwards. I did ask her if we could 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:49.880 have a little chat, and that was just well to 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:53.440 get the perspective of someone post surgery, to just see, well, 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:57.080 how was it? And just like I'd asked Beck and Athena, 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:00.560 what made you come here and actually go through with this. 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:01.480 Shot here away? 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:04.040 And course it Yes, So I'm in the corset. 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:06.800 So I'm going to be stuck in this for the 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:07.520 next ten to. 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.800 Twelve weeks, oh every day, like day and night. 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:12.480 Yeah, twenty four to seven. But to be honest, it 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.080 actually feels good. It feels when I take it off 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:19.840 to shower, it feels, i don't know, like my body's too. 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:23.279 Free post surgery. Two days post surgery. 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:25.919 And when it's on it feels like just it's like 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:28.200 hugging everything. It's like keeping everything nice and like. 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:29.360 Tight and compact. 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:34.880 So I will say that I'm surprised how energetic like, 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.920 because there's this everyone nobody knows what the surgery is 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:39.680 I didn't know what it was I'm hearing, but what 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:40.840 did I still didn't know. 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:43.320 And then just a heads up if you thinking, hey Josh, 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:46.719 that audio shit, don't worry. I know this was because 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:49.760 this chat was like just so quick and unplanned. And 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:51.520 as I said, I saw Ali by the pool and 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:53.359 I was like, yeah, oh, can we just hop for 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:54.960 a few minutes? And I thought it would just be 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.080 a few minutes, but you'll hear it went a little 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:57.600 bit longer. 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:00.920 So they've made a tiny needle point thinging your side yep, 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.600 and then through that and then it all just sound 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.800 like kind of like reshape your bottom ribs. Yes, And 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:10.200 then this is what now holds it in place permanently 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:10.880 keep them there. 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:15.440 So basically I have control now. So the first week 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:17.560 you just kind of keep it compact, but now I 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:21.640 have control. It's got these little toggles, so this tightens it, okay. 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:24.960 And if I want to be teeny tiny waist, I 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:29.000 can tighten it like crazy tight. If I want more natural, 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.400 more like human like, ye, I can. 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:33.240 Sort of just keep it. 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:36.400 See, you have complete control over what sort of result 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.720 you have at the end with the corset, which is 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:39.440 wild to me. 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:41.040 Well, I didn't know at that time. 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:44.240 Was as Ali and I were chatting Stella from this 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:46.880 year's season and married at first sight. She just posted 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:50.400 a TikTok and after she saw all of my posts 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:53.880 about the strip in Bali, she revealed in her post 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:58.120 that she was almost here, sat amongst us and this 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.800 is her explaining why she ended up declared the offer 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:01.800 of this trip. 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:06.120 I personally myself was also invited to go on that 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:12.760 journey with Snatched Waste, and I have most respect for 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:15.640 the people who are creating the business and the opportunity 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:25.240 for the women and men to change their body structure. 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:32.200 I took an utmost care to actually get to understand 0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:35.640 what the type of surgery it is, because that is 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:39.280 a surgery. Okay, it's not teeth cleaning for fifteen minutes. 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:43.760 It's a surgery you go under. That's the one. And 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:48.120 I also had to consider does this actually align with 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:52.400 me and who I am as a person. And I 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:55.320 didn't say straight away no, because curiosity, you know, I 0:06:55.400 --> 0:07:00.479 got the better of me, and I have at the 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:06.279 end of the day, was intrigued, you know, And after 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:13.760 listening to the surgeon talking about it, if that procedure 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:16.920 was ever on the top of my mind to do so, 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:21.000 I would have, but since I never thought about it 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:23.680 and it's the last thing that I probably would think 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:25.920 about at the end of the day, I was like, nah, 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:29.800 that would be just not something I would want to do, right, 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:33.520 And just because someone and something is given for you 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:35.920 for free doesn't mean you have to take. 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:39.560 Interestingly though, where Estella sat with that offer for a 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:42.200 little while, and you know, although the appeal of a 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:46.400 smaller waste did briefly appeal to her, she ultimately said 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.640 no because this is just not something she's ever considered doing, 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:54.520 but with Ali. When I asked her reasons, she said 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:56.920 that after she was also reached out and offered this 0:07:56.960 --> 0:08:01.040 procedure in exchange for some social media coverage, she raced 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:02.600 to her decision. 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.120 And my friends were like, you're not actually going to 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.960 do that, that's insane. I was like, well, I never 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:09.600 knew this was a thing, but now that it's on 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:13.520 my radar, I kind of want it. That is going 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:15.960 to be like a lot of people are probably going 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:18.400 to hear that and be like, that's ridiculous. It's not 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:21.360 like you've been sitting here thinking for years. This is 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:22.720 something that's going to be life. 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:23.120 Changing for me. 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.640 It's very ridiculous, to be honest, I know. 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.080 I am such an impulsive person. I know that's not 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:33.720 like a positive trait. It's not the best trade at all. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.000 I'm such an impulsive person. But when I get an 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.640 idea in my head, I'm very obsessive about it. And 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:41.640 so once I had the idea in my head, I'm like, 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:43.160 like I was saying to you before, I was watching 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:46.760 the Sports Illustrated swim show that was on recently, and 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:49.000 I was studying all their bodies and bodies that I've 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:50.719 always thought are beautiful. 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:54.319 With the same shape as what I was. And then 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:58.240 I woul when you say, what presearch two days ago? Yeah, okay, 0:08:59.200 --> 0:08:59.720 ten years. 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:04.359 Ago when I was involved old timy times. 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:05.400 Yeah. 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.240 So now, so I'm watching it because I was trying 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:09.920 to give myself a bit of perspective. I was trying 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:14.280 to be realistic about this idea that I've started to 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:19.840 obsess over. And then I was looking at some of 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:22.920 the other body shapes and the curves and the hourglasses, like, 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.400 but I love that shape too. And the way that 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:31.120 they described the entire process was very minimally invasive. It's 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:33.960 only a forty five minute procedure. You know, there's no 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:38.200 roobs being removed, there's no nothing getting broken. It's just 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:42.160 kind of a softening of the tissue and just the 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:45.280 surface of the bone. And then the contrary with the corset. 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.079 So I thought, oh, it sounds so chill. 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:51.079 I know it's no. 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:53.439 I mean, like I came here to document this and 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:56.680 kind of find out the reasons why so many people 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:57.360 are doing. 0:09:57.120 --> 0:09:59.880 The surgery, and the reason just seems to be cool. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.760 Why not I know, we're all doing the yolo thing 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:05.040 because it's not being on any about radar because it's 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:05.760 not in Australia. 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:08.640 I'm going to be honest. Now, I liked Ali when 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:10.600 I met her. I thought she was lovely. She had 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.640 a great energy and just like a really friendly vibe 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.679 to her. But I had to politely push back on 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.000 that yolo response and just let her know, well, like 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.559 just how dangerous that is because of her job title. 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:23.559 But do you. 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:27.840 Worry that that is gonna that is going to piss 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:28.320 people off? 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:31.240 Of course, and you have like quite a big following. 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:36.040 Yeah, and like they're all, I mean, you're already documenting this, yeah, 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:38.439 and they're going to see this, and it's essentially they're 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.280 going to go, well, Ali's done it, so I want 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:41.559 to do it because look how good she looks. 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:44.560 But yeah, I mean, I definitely, yeah, I definitely don't 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:47.080 like the idea of influencing people in that sense. 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:51.720 But job title is influencer. So that's why I'm like, 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:53.320 why we are doing this? 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:55.880 I know, I know, and you're absolutely right, like I don't. 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:01.520 It's just like I and the last person on this 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.280 planet that people should be following, Like I'm the lemming 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:06.479 jumping off a cliff, you know, I'm. 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:07.520 Just I don't. 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:09.720 I was on a TV show, and I have followers 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:12.040 from a TV show, not because I'm a role model, 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.600 just because people like me because I'm a kind person. 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.120 It doesn't make mean that I make good life decisions. 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:19.880 It doesn't mean that this is a bad life decision either. 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.000 But it's just kind of like if my parents knew 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:24.840 they would die. 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:26.880 They're going to find out obviously they're going to die. 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:29.760 No fantastic. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:34.160 Whereas Ali raced to this decision because well, in her 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:37.760 own words, you only live once. On the other hand, 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:41.080 there's Stella, who not only declined this trip because well 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:44.240 she did really think about it, but she also then 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.439 sat and thought about how she really feels about her 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:49.839 new breasts, which she got done in November after her 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.520 season of the show stopped filming, and she has made 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:55.599 an effort not to publicly discuss or draw attention to 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.760 at all until now when it came. 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:02.880 To my rest of mutian surgery. I actually you don't 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:06.880 see my moves anywhere flaunted. I wear the same clothes 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:14.559 because I've done that for myself. I paid for that myself, 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:19.960 and I actually had that booked three days before I 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:27.400 got a call about Maths getting me my match, And 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:30.280 even then I actually was thinking about the surgery for 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:34.800 a Yeah. I did my first constitution with the surgeon 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:41.840 in November twenty four. My surgery was booked June twenty fifth, 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:46.960 twenty five, and I ended up doing it November twenty five. 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:55.920 So before people make decisions, I think it's important to 0:12:55.920 --> 0:13:01.080 ask relevant questions why am I doing it and what 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:05.679 are what are the pros and cons of it? Because 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:09.240 I must say, after going through the surgery myself, just 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:16.120 you know, quite recently, I guess the surgery won't solve 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:24.600 the problems if you're trying to solve them. If someone 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:29.960 is saying, I, actually, you know, don't find myself sexy 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:33.160 because I don't have boobs. Okay, go for it. But 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:38.040 if someone says, oh my god, boobs changed my life. 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:45.479 Something magically flicked and happened, and now I am this confident, 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:52.600 sexy matterfacer, it's not gonna happen. Okay. You will wake up, 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.120 you will go through the healing, you will have the 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.840 ups and downs, and at the end of the day, 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:01.080 six months in the shine of something new is going 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.320 to wear off and you're going to be lifed with 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:06.440 the same thoughts about yourself. So if you are not changing, 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:10.760 if I'm not changing my thoughts about myself internally at 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:17.079 the first place, no surgery will change your confidence. Surgery 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:24.920 will change the feeling of insecurity. Confidence and insecurity is 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:29.280 the internal job. Whatever you put outside, it's going to 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:33.000 be a temporary solution to relieve the pain. It's like 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:37.000 having alcohol when you feel depressed, having drugs when you 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:40.240 don't feel okay, and stuff like that. So I always 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:46.160 encourage try to understand the reasons why something is being offered, 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:49.400 while something is being promoted, and why something is being done. 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.160 The more Stella has really sat and fought about her 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.320 new breasts. Over the last couple of weeks after the 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:57.680 offer of this Barllor trip has just had a reflecting 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.520 on all of the choices she's maybe their body. She 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:04.840 has realized that ultimately she does have regrets, and not 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.120 just because of the reason she got them done, but 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.400 the way they've impacted so many other parts of her 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:12.440 life that she hadn't anticipated, like exercising. 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:16.480 It took me probably six months to accept the fact that, Okay, 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:23.680 well I'm not I'm not not happy with my boobs. 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:28.000 But was it worth it? Was it really really worth it? 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:32.040 I don't think so. I don't think so. It didn't 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:37.040 make me happier nothing, I don't know if anything. I 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:40.840 actually feel like it affected me in quite a negative way, 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:45.760 and I'm still I've lost my routine. I was scared 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:48.320 to train, I was scared to do push offts, I 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:58.160 was scared to do intensive functional training. And it's only now, 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:04.320 and it's been plus six months, that I feel like, Okay, 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:10.840 it feels like somewhat my body and yeah, I didn't 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:15.400 have the reason to do the boobs rather than the vanity. 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.480 At the end of the day, I'm sorry. I know 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:21.720 in my ruffle a lot of people in the different 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:26.320 position in a how do I say in my rough 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:33.920 people in wrong ways? But no, I was sexy before, 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.520 I was feeling sexy before, I was confident before, and 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:41.240 when I look back, I got I booked my boobs 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:47.600 in when I was going through a breakup, a heartbreak, 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.000 and I just wanted to feel better. 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:54.160 Back to BALI now, and trust me, I do understand Ali. 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:56.440 I think I'm quite similar in the way that I 0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:59.480 often act first and think later, and my life has 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:03.800 been defined by impulsive choices and wild stories. But this 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.399 is different, like especially given how whether she likes it 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:09.920 or not, people do look to her as someone to 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:13.520 follow and copy and and to really try and emphasize 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:15.879 this point. I then flipped it a little by putting 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:18.879 it into a very real scenario for Ali. 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:21.119 You've got a son, right of a son. Yeah, so 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:22.359 he probably wouldn't fovict him. 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.680 But what if she did have a thirteen year old daughter, 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.240 and then she's maybe feeling insecure as girls do with 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.159 that age, you know, girls in school, maybe picking on 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:32.800 her about how she looks, and then she's scrolling Instagram 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:35.080 and go, oh but mommy, look what this girl's done. 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:35.760 I want to do that. 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:39.520 No, I know that's that like it hurts my heart. 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:43.040 That really hurts my heart because you're really getting me 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:44.320 in the soft spot. 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:48.399 But that's essentially and then that young girl is going 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:50.159 to see that, and maybe that's going to stick with 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:51.879 her for years, and then she's not going to know 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.520 the girl she's looking at. When Yolo we're going to 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.919 go to BALI just change my shapely. I know. 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:00.920 This thought of one day having a daughter is something 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:03.399 that Stella has also spent a lot of time thinking 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.719 about lately, and she says what she learned from her 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:10.119 own mother about self love and acceptance is something that 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:11.800 has never really left her. 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.160 If I would raise a daughter, I always questioned myself 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:22.679 and ask myself what kind of values, what values I 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:29.120 would like my daughter to get from me? And one 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:34.960 thing that I learned growing up my mum. She had 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.520 me when she was extremely young, and even then her 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:42.600 body got absolutely wrecked. She got sagga booths, she got 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:46.159 stretch marks all over her body, but she was wearing 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:52.920 that with confidence, with confidence, and honestly, if I could 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:57.359 say one thing that I am taking with you know, 0:18:57.560 --> 0:19:01.879 my arms wide open, is the confidence my mum instilled 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.120 in me by not being perfect and by not chasing 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:08.800 the perfection, and by always just showing up as you are. 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.320 And that's the time values. I would like to bring 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:19.920 my kids in the world where yes, there are things 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:24.159 that we can do to make ourselves feel confident and 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:29.040 comfortable and and you know, less insecure and whatever. And 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:31.800 I'm all for it. I straightened my teeth, I got 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.200 rid of the glasses because I was wearing glasses since 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.320 I was sixteen. I'm all for it. But when it 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:43.560 comes to when it comes to trends, when it comes 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:56.879 to something that can cause more stress than benefit, I 0:19:56.920 --> 0:19:58.959 advise not. I even advise all of my friends who 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.239 are like, oh my god, you got your I want 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:03.800 to get them done, And I'm like, think, why do 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:05.240 you want to get your mobs done? 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:08.879 As I saw Ali's carefree yolo for side break a 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:12.160 little at that last question, I started to think, there's 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:14.439 more to her story here, like there just must be. 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:17.080 And as I started to question more about just her 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:20.840 body image throughout her entire life, we started to unpack 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:24.400 together like the real reason she was here having this done? 0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:27.240 And you know what, I related to a lot of 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:30.160 what she was saying, which some of you who may 0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:33.560 have heard a recent episode of my other podcast, Occasionally Funny, 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:35.800 may already know it's high. 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:38.639 So I'm a millennial, and I feel like millennials we 0:20:38.680 --> 0:20:41.400 got cursed in the in the sense of like how 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:46.440 we were, how we were programmed to look at our bodies. Yes, 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:49.400 like we I was in the peak Mischa Barton, like. 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:51.200 There's it's very funny. 0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:55.000 I did a part recently where I spoke about Nicole Richie, 0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:57.679 Paris Hilton. So I dropped out of school at fifteen 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:01.440 to be paparazzi. The first person was Paris, and then 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:05.880 I was suddenly around that world from being a gay 0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:08.439 in the closet teenager who never felt I fit in. 0:21:08.720 --> 0:21:11.560 And I developed an eating disorder for a while, and 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:13.960 I only saw pictures recently, but I would go days 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:16.920 about eating like I was skeletal, and I only saw 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:19.880 those pictures like a week ago. And on my other 0:21:19.920 --> 0:21:22.880 podcast occasionally funny and then it's funny you say that, 0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:26.199 But like I was influenced back then because it was 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:29.600 everywhere the magazines, the yeah, you couldn't escape that, and 0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:31.959 it was those it was that collar bone on all 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:32.399 of them. 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:34.199 Yeah, like that was the that was. 0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:34.600 Yeah. 0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:36.480 I used to look at that I want a collar 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:38.480 bone protruding, and I was like, what the fuck was that? 0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:41.840 Yeah, it was. It's actually funny because I when. 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:44.080 I was on Below Deck, I actually there was an 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:47.080 episode where I was feeling is one of our first 0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:48.879 episodes on our Night Off where everyone was getting in 0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:51.000 the hot tub and I was feeling insecure of talking 0:21:51.000 --> 0:21:54.200 to my friend Daisy, and I was feeling insecure about 0:21:54.200 --> 0:21:56.800 my body because the other girls were all teeny tiny, petite, 0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:01.560 and I used to be really, really skinny, and I 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:03.840 was normal. I was in normal size at that point. 0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:09.200