1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Jason Lawrence on over one hundred. 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 2: We are not alone. The paper are in the house. 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 2: Jason Lawrence, tell me what you know. That's right. We 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,159 Speaker 2: like to catch up with the police, who do a 5 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,119 Speaker 2: fine job here in Victoria. 6 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 3: But we like being on the right side of the law, Jace. 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 3: We love the police. 8 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 2: Seen your Constable Wallohan is joining us this morning. Good morning, 9 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 2: good morning everyone, Thanks for having me. Now you are 10 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 2: a police negotiator, yes, sick job. 11 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 3: Sick job, and you've turned up like fully decked out. 12 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 4: You're not a proper policeman. 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 3: Many many accessories on there talk us through your you 14 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 3: get up. 15 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: So the kid I'm wearing is my standard negotiating uniform. 16 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 1: I didn't bring it in as a gag. It's literally 17 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: I'm on duty and so I may have to deploy 18 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,279 Speaker 1: to something. But we've got a lot of kid We've 19 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: got tasers, we've got radios, we have long arms, we 20 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: have pistol and standard. 21 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 4: So when you say, like, whatever situation unfolds right now, 22 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,479 Speaker 4: you could be deployed too. 23 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: Yes, at any one stage in Victoria, we have a 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 1: minimum of two negotiators. I'm it with my two partners 25 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: for the day. We can get deployed to kidnapping, hostage situation, 26 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: suicide or crisis intervention and anywhere up to barricades and 27 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: sieges and even a counter terrorism event. 28 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 3: And so as a negotiator, at what point do you 29 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 3: get called in? 30 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: We usually get called in by police or law enforcement. 31 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 1: We don't get called in by members of the public 32 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: via triple zero. So the calls we get are when 33 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: police have tried and they've been unsuccessful, and that's when 34 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 1: they call us. 35 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 3: Right, you know it's serious when you're rocking up. 36 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 1: Usually it is, and it can be. But like any job, 37 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you can't have a bit of fun 38 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: with it. And it doesn't mean it can't be interesting 39 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: and fascinating. 40 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 2: And it takes on when you say have fun with it, 41 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 2: like as in with the person like, hey, come out, 42 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 2: we've all left, gotcha, No, we're here, we're just hidden 43 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 2: behind trees. 44 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: Well, I'll give you an example. I was on the 45 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: roof of the counting court. Was a man who had 46 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: a case on and it wasn't going in his favor, 47 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: and so he decided that he wanted to jump. I 48 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: was called out and the judge was talking to him. 49 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: The judge was negotiating. The judge said to me, you're 50 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: only going to make this worse. And I said, well, 51 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: with respect, sir, when I walk into your courtroom, you're 52 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 1: in charge. Yeah, I am now in charge, and I'm 53 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: going to ask you to step aside. Please. It's time 54 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: for us to have a go. And so I started 55 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: talking to this man and he was an interesting fellow. 56 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: And he said to me, after about three hours, if 57 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: you make me laugh, I will come down and surrender. 58 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 1: So I gave him a joke. 59 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 2: What was you going to Jake? 60 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: Now this bear in mind, this is not, you know, 61 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: one from the playbook. No, this is this is a 62 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: daytime joke. But it's your experience may vary. But he 63 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: thought it was funny. So I'll go to you. 64 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: Okay. So I'm on the roof. I've been there for 65 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 2: how long? 66 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 1: About three hours? 67 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 2: Right? Knock knock? Who's there? Dishes? Dishes? 68 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: Who dishes? 69 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 2: Sean Connery. 70 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 3: Got him off the root? 71 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 2: It did? 72 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: It did? And then what's funny? 73 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 2: Do you think he felt sorry for you? 74 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 3: I think you did give it a ranch. 75 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 2: I mean, how do you train for this? Is it 76 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 2: at home with the wife? 77 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: Well, my beautiful wife is she always says to me, 78 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: you can negotiate hostages, you can negotiate kidnappers, but you 79 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: can't negotiate our two kids. 80 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's that was my next question actually, because like, yeah, 81 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 2: you've got a couple. 82 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: Of kids, yes, and a wife. 83 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 3: I don't know what's harder to negotiate with the time. 84 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 2: Well, the running joke at our place is I sometimes 85 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 2: do feel like a police hostage negotiator, like trying to 86 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: toalkin eight year old out of a car they've locked 87 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 2: themselves in the car on the driveway because god forbid, 88 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 2: I dropped an eminem and he won't come out unless 89 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 2: I go and buy a new pack. 90 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 3: But I have a feeling, Jason, that you may not 91 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 3: keep your cool like a police negotiator because you must 92 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 3: have to stay so calm. Are there things that just 93 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 3: make you blow? 94 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: Like yeah, absolutely, Like any sort of policing role. If 95 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: there's anything involving children and anything involving people that can't 96 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: protect themselves, that's going to affect you, that you would 97 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: be You shouldn't be in this job if it doesn't. 98 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: So you just got to find coping strategies. You've got 99 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: to find ways to deal with that and you have 100 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:21,120 Speaker 1: to find ways to be vulnerable with your colleagues. So 101 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: my mum always said to me, be kind to people 102 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: because everyone is suffering a battle that you know nothing about. 103 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: And I think it's just a nice little line that 104 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 1: I remember to know that I haven't walked in anyone 105 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: else's shoes, and be kind. 106 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 3: But do you ever yell? Surely erasive voice. 107 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: I've realized that our bodies are our brains because we 108 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: do a lot of psychology, and we did with psychologists 109 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: a lot, and our brains are attuned to certain frequencies. 110 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: And so I have noticed that yelling at my kids 111 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 1: is not a good idea. But if you whisper, If 112 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 1: you whisp at your kids, their brain locks onto that 113 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: frequency and they will. 114 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 2: Actually I've done that, but it's normally at Westfield. We 115 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 2: can beg the car and no one's around. I can 116 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 2: tell you knew Bladdy. 117 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,039 Speaker 3: Listen then let me tell you And does we spring 118 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 3: work for husbands as well? Oh yeah, okay, no yelling. 119 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 2: At your back up. If the Sean Connery didn't make 120 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 2: him laugh, please get down off the roof. Please, Hey 121 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 2: what movie? No no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 122 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 2: genuine question, what movie? Or TV show would be the 123 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 2: most realistic, realistic representation of what you do. 124 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 4: Stingers, phone Box, water Police. 125 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 2: Like Negotiated was on the other night that movie with 126 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 2: Kevin Space, that's right, should have back someone else there. 127 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: But there are a few movies that are that are 128 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 1: very inaccurate. Inside Man with Jens Washington is it very 129 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: inaccurate but very entertaining. So we don't swap ourselves for hostages. 130 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: We don't tape a gun to the back of our 131 00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: head and go into a stronghold like die Hard. That's 132 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: you're getting there. 133 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,720 Speaker 2: With Thomas Police a couple of rules, though, you won't 134 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 2: swap yourself for a hostage. Yes, what about revealing personal 135 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 2: details about your life? 136 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: That's a really good question. So we call that associations. 137 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: So for example, if you give, so reciprocity is giving 138 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,559 Speaker 1: and giving in return. So by me giving a little 139 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: bit of myself to you, we build a connection and 140 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 1: realize we're not so different. So that's that's something we're 141 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,599 Speaker 1: actively encouraged. But you have to have your own line 142 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: in the sands. So I'm not going to go up 143 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: to you. I'm not going to tell you know an 144 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: anti social hostile person with a firearm where I live. No, 145 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: we never like that's our currency because even if if 146 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: you're dealing with a really bad person, that person still 147 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: has to trust you. They don't have to like you, 148 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 1: but they have to trust you, and so trust is 149 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: won by the inch and lost by the mile. 150 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 4: Lee. 151 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 2: Here's a question. Say if I barricaded ourselves in the studio, right, 152 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 2: and so we're not coming out, and I asked for 153 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 2: food to be sent in, is there like like as 154 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 2: long as it's nothing dangerous, like, will you send in 155 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 2: any request? 156 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: Well, it all depends on what your leverage is. So 157 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: if you're inside a room and we don't need that 158 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: room for the day, I'd probably be saying no, Ja wouldn't. 159 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 2: Try and wade me out. He's take long to I'd 160 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 2: leave by nine if you'd have the room back by nine. 161 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 2: Let me tell you hey this morning, our number is 162 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 2: thirteen twenty four to ten. If you're up for it, 163 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 2: do you mind if we open the phones and let 164 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 2: listeners ask questions? Absolutely? Awesome. 165 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 3: There you're going to negotiate with your child, with your wife, Yes, 166 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 3: with your boss? 167 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 2: There you go. 168 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, life to negotiate with Jake, So he just talks 169 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 3: over the top of me and doesn't listen. 170 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 2: Get some tips if they go, yeah, I you've got 171 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 2: dramas at home and you want to use Lee's tips, 172 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 2: give us a ring. 173 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: I want you start. 174 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 2: Talkers, Jason Lawrence, tell me what's you know? That's right? 175 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 2: John Us this morning seen you. Constable Alia Wallahan. He 176 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 2: is a police negotiator and also stars in this week's 177 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 2: episode of Police Life The Experts. That's right a podcast 178 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 2: done by Victorious Police. That's a great idea. That's awesome. 179 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 2: So do you guys showcase different roles in the force 180 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 2: in the podcast? Yeah. 181 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: It was brought about by wanting to actually say to 182 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: people there are many more things than just working the 183 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: divisional van or doing full patrols in uniform. You can 184 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: do so many things. There's water police, there's forensics, there's 185 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: detective units, there's tactical units. 186 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 2: And you have a good rig to be on the 187 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 2: jet skis for the water police. 188 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: I would imagine. So that's why I'm yeah, you know, you. 189 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 2: Want to look good. 190 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 3: All the water police aren't getting around with. 191 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 2: Their top side now on the jet skis. 192 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 3: They should, No, they're not. 193 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 2: Okay, Hey, our number is thirteen twenty four to ten. 194 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 2: Lee is happy to answer any questions. This morning. You're 195 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 2: a police negotiated We're just having a chat during the 196 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,840 Speaker 2: song before about how long a siege or a hostage 197 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,560 Speaker 2: situation can go on for. What's one of the longest 198 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 2: you've done. 199 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 1: So we did one in a place called Snake Valley 200 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,079 Speaker 1: about ten years ago. It went for three four days. 201 00:08:58,600 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 3: Wow, An are you on the whole time? 202 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 2: I was there? 203 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: But not always on duty because you have to sleep, 204 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,559 Speaker 1: you have to rest, and you have to also wonder 205 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: when you're being effective. And I work in a team, 206 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: the most amazing team in Victoria, if. 207 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 2: Not the world. We're a word. 208 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 1: Leading organization on negotiating and we do it full time. 209 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 1: So you share the load and you work collaboratively with 210 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: your colum. 211 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 2: But is that hard? Like I say, if I'm the 212 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,679 Speaker 2: one with the gun, for example, I built a connection 213 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:24,959 Speaker 2: with you and now you're like, how I'm going to 214 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 2: go and have a nap. This is Clint. I don't 215 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 2: want Clint. I want great chat, a terrible chat. 216 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 1: Well, that comes down to what you want versus what 217 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: you actually need. And so what you want is different 218 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: to what you need. 219 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 4: Speaking which do you use the media at all because 220 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 4: they could be watching their teley, they could be listening 221 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 4: to their radio. 222 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,319 Speaker 1: We do, and in the old days you were just 223 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,079 Speaker 1: to change someone's phone number, you know, and so that 224 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: they couldn't call out. The average person out has four 225 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 1: or five six devices of which they can communicate. So 226 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: you need to be engaging. You need to be the 227 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: person that they need, not what they want. Times that 228 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 1: person might say I want I want a seven forty 229 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 1: seven and I want two hundred thousand dollars and an 230 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,319 Speaker 1: extra fo they actually. 231 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 3: Do that say I want a million dollars in helicopter. 232 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 4: Absolutely no way, because they're chasing well, some are chasing 233 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 4: fame right because they know they're getting the coverage, they're 234 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 4: getting the clicks. 235 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: But in the end, what it comes down to is 236 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: you give them what they need and they forget what 237 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: they want. So for example, my child, I want. 238 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: To get a bit of paper. 239 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 1: My child says I want this lolly, or I want 240 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: this or I want that, And what they actually need 241 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 1: is a sense of they're seeing you walking around the 242 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: supermarket making decisions and picking up things and they just 243 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: want to do what you're doing, and they need to 244 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 1: feel part of that so you let them. 245 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 2: Feel the powering them. 246 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: Yes, give them what they need, not what they want. 247 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,600 Speaker 2: Okay, So I get them to do the shopping and 248 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 2: I stay Hume, That's what I got out of that. 249 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 3: So hang on, I know we need some more specifics, 250 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 3: We need more help because I feel like every parents 251 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 3: absolutely what you say, Oh darling, why don't you go 252 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 3: pick out the cereal? 253 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: Yeah? 254 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:55,839 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 255 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: You involve them in the process, make them feel like 256 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: they're actually part of it. And that's what we do 257 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: it a siege. We involve the person in the process. 258 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: And so how this day ends is entirely up to you. 259 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: You are in control, but the way you think the 260 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: day is going to end is not actually accurate. 261 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 2: But these are options. So calm, isn't he? 262 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 3: I know, Lee, could you come and live in my 263 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 3: house for a wenk? 264 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 2: I was just thinking, are you going to use this 265 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:18,719 Speaker 2: tactic on Paul? Paul, you can pick whatever you want 266 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 2: off the menu of the restaurant I've picked. 267 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 3: No, But see, I do things like that. I give 268 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 3: him two options, like an outrageous one that I know 269 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 3: he's never going to go for, and then the one 270 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 3: that I want. 271 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you mean bringing in a third. Let's 272 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 2: go to Sarah. I'm thirteen, twenty fourteen. Sarah, you are 273 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 2: on the line with Lee your chance to probe the paper. 274 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 2: What's your question? 275 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 3: Good morning, guys, welcome back, break to your boys, Thank you, 276 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:43,200 Speaker 3: thank you. 277 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:45,599 Speaker 1: I've got to do it. 278 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 3: Eighty eighth C. And Rishi is lying, and it's sort 279 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 3: of knowing where I mean. 280 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: I respite that all the time, so I'm used to 281 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 1: now her lying, But it's how do you get them 282 00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: to stop? 283 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,719 Speaker 2: How do you spot a line in a hostage negotiation. 284 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,079 Speaker 1: I think what you've got to do is you've got 285 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: to learn how to reward the good and then ignore 286 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: instead of punish the bad. And so what I recommend, 287 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 1: especially with lying, it does, unfortunately start with us. We 288 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: lie to our kids all the time. We lied about 289 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,079 Speaker 1: We lie about everything. We all lie, don't we, And 290 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,079 Speaker 1: so they it is a learned behavior. It's not something 291 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: that they are born with. They learn it. And so 292 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: I know this is going to sound like a non answer, 293 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: but one of the best ways to do is lead 294 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: by example and show to them. I'm going to tell 295 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: you something now that you're not gonna like. I'm going 296 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: to tell you something that you don't want to hear, 297 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: but it's the truth. 298 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 2: Your shot. 299 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,359 Speaker 3: Jason is in trouble. God, you lie about everything. 300 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 2: Don't Isn't he good? Isn't he? 301 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 3: Jase lies about everything. We're a meeting yesterday and he said, 302 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I've got meetings at the kids' school. And 303 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 3: I sent him a text saying, you're such a liar, 304 00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:00,319 Speaker 3: I'll do the meeting. 305 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 2: Well, they wanted to do a zoom meeting. 306 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 3: It's your own fault that the kids are telling little 307 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 3: porky pies. 308 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 2: Well leave that segment went well, eye bloody. Am fascinated 309 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 2: by your job, and I encourage everyone should check out 310 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 2: the Victoria Police news podcast. It's called Police Life the Experts. 311 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 3: I'll be listening to that. 312 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 2: That is crazy. And thank you very much for all 313 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 2: the work you guys do. Mate. I know it wouldn't 314 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 2: be easy, and I can imagine it would be extremely 315 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 2: hard being on a job for a couple of days 316 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 2: and then having to go home and just like, how 317 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 2: do you do that? Walk through the door and just 318 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 2: park the police job at work and be dad at home. 319 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: I think the important thing is to cherish what you have, 320 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: cherish your family, be honest and vulnerable with them, and because, 321 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: like I said, everyone is fighting a battle that no 322 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: one knows anything about. So it's good to be vulnerable. 323 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 1: Come home, but don't bring those problems home. 324 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 3: Yes, he's good, he's very good. 325 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,719 Speaker 2: We thank you very much for coming in. 326 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,040 Speaker 3: We'll call you the next time. Jason, I have an issue. 327 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 3: You can sort it out. 328 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,439 Speaker 2: Thank you. Guys, you wouldn't mind shooting clan with the 329 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 2: taser on your way up. 330 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 3: We love the police.