Speaker 1: Apodae Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I
Speaker 1: A Bad Mum Podcast?
Speaker 2: School holidays school holiday fun for some, Yeah, not for me.
Speaker 2: I don't have my kids at home for the school holidays, Katie,
Speaker 2: and I'm not coping with it. I never ever thought
Speaker 2: there would be a day in this lifetime of mine
Speaker 2: that I would say that.
Speaker 1: No, neither did I, because when you do have your
Speaker 1: kids home during school holidays, it's a completely different conversation
Speaker 1: about wanting them to be away for school holidays to
Speaker 1: give you a break, and now you've got the break.
Speaker 2: Well, I think it was because it was so last
Speaker 2: minute and I was away with them for five days
Speaker 2: straight for a dance a Stedford competition, which you know
Speaker 2: emotions get high on which we all know. And then
Speaker 2: I came back from the Dancestdford and they were leaving
Speaker 2: like that afternoon to go away with my mom Nanadi,
Speaker 2: to head off out Bush to like the middle of Queensland.
Speaker 2: And now I'm sort of left going what do I
Speaker 2: do with my time because I'm just so used to
Speaker 2: filling it with school holiday stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's also when you haven't planned it as well.
Speaker 1: So we had a situation at the beginning of the
Speaker 1: school holidays where the girls went to a friend's house.
Speaker 1: They've got like a farm out somewhere, like a couple
Speaker 1: of hours away, and they were like, can we go
Speaker 1: for three nights? And I spoke to the mom. I
Speaker 1: spoke to the mom really late, like the night before.
Speaker 1: I was like, I better call mom, like I've never
Speaker 1: even met her, and I was sending my kids.
Speaker 2: You're like, Hi, it's nice to meet you. You're taking
Speaker 2: my kids for three nights.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And she was like, oh no, it's totally fine,
Speaker 1: like we've got lots of stuff planned. And they had
Speaker 1: the absolute best time. But I had a moment of panic.
Speaker 1: I haven't organized anything. They're gonna be away for three
Speaker 1: nice it never happens. I haven't organized anything. I said today.
Speaker 1: I was like, we should go away?
Speaker 2: And what do you mean?
Speaker 1: I said we should go away, Like, let's have a
Speaker 1: look at the flight deals, let's go. He was like,
Speaker 1: we can't just go away.
Speaker 3: We've got work.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, but the kid's going to
Speaker 1: be away for.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, you shouldn't like catch a movie or do
Speaker 2: something like that. But when we were coming home from news,
Speaker 2: so they were fighting, like squabbling like crazy, and then
Speaker 2: I was sort of going, gosh, I don't know what
Speaker 2: my time is going to.
Speaker 3: Be filled with when you're not here.
Speaker 2: Now that I've got the silence, I'm sort of going,
Speaker 2: what do I do with my time minus these children?
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm a bit like, I'm
Speaker 2: too tired to go out and do anything.
Speaker 1: When the kids are older and they move out of home,
Speaker 1: what the hell are we going to do? Everything we
Speaker 1: do is around now.
Speaker 3: I know I dread that hard.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm gonna have to, like reinvent myself.
Speaker 3: Maybe I don't know we're gonna do that.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to talk to our husbands those question
Speaker 1: marks around Like quick, let's go on a holiday.
Speaker 3: You'll just be holidaying full stop.
Speaker 1: Would be lovely. I think I'm probably even like camping
Speaker 1: is not really my thing, but imagine hiring a nice
Speaker 1: camp van, just going away, just the two.
Speaker 3: Of you, like, just no kids, just driving.
Speaker 1: You're not having to vacuum up the sand every time
Speaker 1: someone walks in.
Speaker 3: You'll have to take your dog though, and your cats.
Speaker 2: That'll be an expensive holiday.
Speaker 1: Am I bad Mum for telling them? I feel bullied?
Speaker 2: You feel bullied from your own children.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had this conversation yesterday. This is a vulnerable
Speaker 1: thing to say, because like, if I'm listening from the
Speaker 1: outside to what I'm about to say, I will go, oh, wow,
Speaker 1: you need to smoke on yourself, because we talk about
Speaker 1: having kids being tough, but it's tough having teenagers because
Speaker 1: teenagers literally think that you know nothing. And I'm not
Speaker 1: even joking when I say that.
Speaker 2: It's not a joke because every person you talk to
Speaker 2: that may be parenting teenagers right now say the exact
Speaker 2: same thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I will say sometimes like I've been around
Speaker 1: forty one years, like I know stuff. There's stuff that
Speaker 1: I do know, And then I'll have the moment of going,
Speaker 1: you nothing, you know nothing. The merely turned to me.
Speaker 1: Turned around to me the other day and Tim, and
Speaker 1: I can't even remember the word to you, what does
Speaker 1: this mean? And I was like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: that means. She was like, see, it's gen Z. You
Speaker 1: don't know about gen Z stuff. And I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: having all the same problems that we have as millennials.
Speaker 1: It's just in a different time. The only thing that's
Speaker 1: different is technology. It's the only thing that's different.
Speaker 2: And the names that you're using to describe it, that's
Speaker 2: the stupid name.
Speaker 3: It's a stupid name.
Speaker 2: So all you're trying to do is trying to have
Speaker 2: us slip up over the stupid name you've on something
Speaker 2: that we've already gone through.
Speaker 1: So I get to the point sometimes where I feel
Speaker 1: like they're looking at me like I'm stupid and disgusting joking,
Speaker 1: like seeing is like a big word, because teenagers look
Speaker 1: at you and your fashion, you know how, you know,
Speaker 1: like mean girls. If you were to see someone and
Speaker 1: then they'd look you up and down and you'd be like,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with my outfit? Like you know, And some
Speaker 1: people do it without even realizing. I've noticed that some people,
Speaker 1: like I can be talking to someone sometimes and notice
Speaker 1: that they're looking down something, and I'm like, get really paranoid.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what you like wrong with something?
Speaker 3: Hang toilet?
Speaker 1: Everyone looking at So I have moments of feeling like that,
Speaker 1: And what I've realized is that it makes me feel
Speaker 1: bad about myself. Like I go to hug my teenagers
Speaker 1: sometimes and they're like literally at arms links and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? Like I don't smell of how
Speaker 1: to shower, like what's wrong with me? And I realized
Speaker 1: that it makes me feel it's the mean girl thing
Speaker 1: like it makes and because you're the mum and yes
Speaker 1: they love you, and yes they care for you, and
Speaker 1: if you actually talk to them about it, like they
Speaker 1: would feel bad. However, in the moment of having attitude,
Speaker 1: you're wrong about everything. You you're disciplining me and I
Speaker 1: don't need it, Like basically you're fucked as a person.
Speaker 1: You have moments of it really getting to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I even said yesterday, I was like, I feel
Speaker 1: really sad about how.
Speaker 3: You make me feel.
Speaker 1: If you feel bad about myself.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, did they say anything?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, what do you mean? I think Holly called
Speaker 1: me a sensitive Sally.
Speaker 2: I was like, you're like, I'm having a moment, I'm
Speaker 2: feeling down about myself and now you call me sensitive.
Speaker 3: Ah, just topping it off, I.
Speaker 1: Think, but what do you do? Like, I feel like
Speaker 1: I need to go and have a session with a
Speaker 1: counselor about remembering myself worse when it comes to having teenagers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I think, well, we get that was going
Speaker 2: to be my suggestion was go and talk to someone
Speaker 2: and see what the tools are that you could add
Speaker 2: to your obviously tool belt of life and being able
Speaker 2: to manage and deal with certain situations like the resilience peace. Right,
Speaker 2: there's a part of resilience of you going I love
Speaker 2: who I am. I'm a good person, I'm a good mother.
Speaker 2: That's a you problem and it's not a me problem.
Speaker 2: And it's just being able to like almost go back
Speaker 2: over what you need to be able to just like
Speaker 2: instead of taking it personally and taking it to heart.
Speaker 2: And it's not like putting a shield up because you're
Speaker 2: not doing that to your kids, right, You're not putting
Speaker 2: a shield up and going, oh, fuck you, but you're
Speaker 2: just sort of going, you know, whatever you say, you're
Speaker 2: just like, it's not going to affect me.
Speaker 3: Well, that's a you thing. It's not a me thing.
Speaker 3: That's a self worth thing.
Speaker 2: You've got to do the work for yourself to feel
Speaker 2: good about who you are, how you show up and
Speaker 2: what you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely is that bully feeling, like that mean
Speaker 1: girl feeling, because do you remember I used the analogy
Speaker 1: a while ago where I was like, imagine if you
Speaker 1: took the bully at your school, like who's the bully
Speaker 1: at your school who's really mean to everyone, and you
Speaker 1: sat her in your car and then drove around everywhere
Speaker 1: she wants to go. Its like, even though she's side
Speaker 1: eying looking at you like you're.
Speaker 3: A piece of shit, piece of shit.
Speaker 2: I think also, you're up against two of them, same hormones,
Speaker 2: same level of mean girl.
Speaker 3: That doesn't feel nice in.
Speaker 2: Itself at all because you feel like you're outnumbered. I
Speaker 2: think naturally, with parenting, you feel out numbered as soon
Speaker 2: as you get past the first baby, because you are
Speaker 2: you're naturally out numbered. Yeah, it's you, you know, V
Speaker 2: two or three or twenty three. I don't know how
Speaker 2: many kids you have. I wouldn't be here for three years.
Speaker 2: I'd be an asylum, but you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 2: that's where I think you've also going to probably give
Speaker 2: yourself a little bit more credit around the fact that
Speaker 2: you're up against two, not one, and you're up against
Speaker 2: two big, beautiful balls of hormones racing at you, plus
Speaker 2: your own.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really interesting the feeling of, oh, wow, I
Speaker 1: do I need to do some work on myself right
Speaker 1: now and how I feel about myself, especially when the
Speaker 1: two people that you've given everything to in life. When
Speaker 1: I say everything, I mean every terms of love, but
Speaker 1: also everything like I got my kids braces. I want braces,
Speaker 1: but I spent the money on their teeth so that
Speaker 1: theirs look nice. And then you've got two much better
Speaker 1: looking and younger versions of you looking at you like
Speaker 1: you're a piece of shit.
Speaker 3: I need help. I think it's more.
Speaker 2: I think it's a great self reflection piece, Katie, And
Speaker 2: I think all you do is just put yourself in
Speaker 2: to chat with someone, just to get it off your
Speaker 2: chest and to hear that it's okay. And then when
Speaker 2: you come home and they have another go, you're gonna
Speaker 2: just flick it off like a little thing on your
Speaker 2: shoulder and walk off like you're the one that's in
Speaker 2: charge again, not in charge, but you're in charge.
Speaker 3: Of your own self work and your heart is precious.
Speaker 1: So imagine that conversation now that starts. So, Katie, what
Speaker 1: are you here to talk about today? I'm just really
Speaker 1: really sad about myself because my teenager like a little
Speaker 1: piece of shit.
Speaker 3: I feel bullied in my own house,