1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm out and I'm so and this is 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 2: two broa Chicks, the show that shares life and tips. 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 3: To help make you rich in life. Hello Sally, Hello Alick? 6 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 3: How is that? We're British? Now? How are you good? 7 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 3: We hit six hundred k followers on Instagram this. 8 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 2: Oh, it's like wild. Yeah, so it's been a good week, 9 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,200 Speaker 2: crazy and it's already at like six fifteen. It's wild 10 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 2: that I'm like so tonight we steal then literally yeah, 11 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:45,919 Speaker 2: pinions of chicks. 12 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 3: Yeah. 13 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 2: We also had like our biggest month of podcast downloads, 14 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 2: so we are slowly but surely taking over the world. Anyway, 15 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 2: So we are back for another diabolical episode of Dilemmas 16 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 2: and confessions. And we've had a little squizz at some 17 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 2: of these and I'm ready me too, I'm strapped in 18 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 2: They're juicy. We haven't discussed it, so I want to 19 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 2: know like your thoughts on some of these as well. Yeah, exactly. 20 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 2: We'll be getting my live reactions kinder. 21 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 3: Live reactions on the park. 22 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but before we get into them, should we 23 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 2: do our obsessions of the week, of course, sadly tell 24 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 2: me what you're obsessed with. I mean, I feel like 25 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 2: you probably already know what I'm about to say. But 26 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 2: my obsession of the week is that Hillary Duff is 27 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 2: coming to Australia finally, and I've never seen her live before. 28 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 2: I don't when was the last time she was he 29 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 2: thinking like the two thousands, like I would have been 30 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 2: in primary school. 31 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 3: You didn't have big girl money exactly. 32 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 2: So I think like some of my friends who I 33 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 2: went to primary school with, like their parents took them 34 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 2: and I was beyond jealous. But I'm so excited She's 35 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 2: coming for the Lucky Me Tour and she's doing six 36 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 2: states across Australia and New Zealand October this year. 37 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 3: That's quick, Yeah. 38 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 2: I know, because I feel like, am I like, do 39 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 2: I not have a good gauge on this stuff? 40 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 3: It depends. It depends. 41 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 2: Like if you think about Harry, those tickets went on 42 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 2: sale in early feb and he's coming in December, and 43 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 2: that Lady Gaga that was like April to December, so 44 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 2: it is kind of like that six to nine moth 45 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:20,640 Speaker 2: Plaid time. 46 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 3: But yeah, I can get away. 47 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 2: I'm stressed we need to start planning, Like what am 48 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 2: I going to do? 49 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 3: Oh? I just can't wait because I've been seeing all 50 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 3: of her. 51 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 2: She's been doing a couple of concerts in I think 52 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 2: like La and Yeah, and I've just had so much 53 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 2: FOMO because it looks so fun and she's just so cute. 54 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't know if she'll come 55 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 2: to Australia. One of the chicks dmd US the other 56 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: week and was like she's teased that there's a world 57 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 2: talk like coming blah blah like Gourgielins and I was like, chick. Yeah, 58 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,080 Speaker 2: I was like I really hope so, but how can 59 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 2: we have Hillary Duff doing a tour but we haven't 60 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 2: had Sabrina Carpenter, I know, like make that make sense? 61 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 3: That'll be coming surely either her own tour. 62 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe headlining lane Way next year because they're gonna 63 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 2: have to back up they've done Charlie Chapel. 64 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 3: They need to complete the trinity of the Powerpuff Girls. 65 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I don't want to have to go 66 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 2: to a whole festival just to see the one person 67 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: I want. 68 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 3: I would rather them do their own concerts. Like the 69 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 3: crowd at chapel. 70 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 2: You were saying was was in not again it was wild? 71 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was wild. I'm not built for that. That's okay. 72 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 3: I'm thirty. 73 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like having a cup of tea and drinking 74 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 2: a rose with my cat. 75 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 3: Yeah that's me. That's okay. But yeah, that's my obsession. 76 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 3: What's yours. 77 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 2: My obsession is that I've finally ticked off a financial 78 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 2: bucket list goal of mine and I started investing, which 79 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, this is a little bit boring, but 80 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it's not. 81 00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 3: This is something that. 82 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 2: I feel like on the show, we've always talked about 83 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 2: wanting to get into more and learn a little bit 84 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 2: more about it. And yeah, I ended up using an 85 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 2: app that made the whole thing so easy, like so 86 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 2: easy to understand, because the one thing that was holding 87 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: me back from starting my investing journey sound like a 88 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 2: loser was that I was like, yeah, it can be intimidating. 89 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I had no idea how to do it. 90 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 2: And anyway, it was such a simple process and I. 91 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 3: Really like the app because you. 92 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 2: Can literally just transfer money into the account on the app. 93 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 3: You can even use Apple Page just like put it 94 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 3: in there. 95 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 2: If there's any boundary to me doing anything like I 96 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 2: have to go get my card details or my bank details, 97 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 2: even if that's opening a separate app. 98 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 3: I'm like, well, that's the fucking hard. Yeah. But I 99 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 3: was like, boom done, easy, be easy, boom bahlah boom. 100 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 3: And then I was like, cool. You know they have 101 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 3: et apps. They have the individual shares and you can. 102 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 2: See the history of a like share company and ETF. 103 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 3: This is lingo that is probably not new to the game. 104 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, the underdog, all right, And yeah you can see 105 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:14,799 Speaker 2: the history of and share an ETF for like one month, 106 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 2: five years, ten years. 107 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 3: So cool. I'm so excited. This is like my new hyperfixation. 108 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,840 Speaker 3: I can't wait. We'll go today from the stock yacht coming. 109 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 2: Soon absolutely, and by that I mean in fifty years, 110 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 2: I'll retire comfortably. 111 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 3: I'll have a dinghy y. I'd love a dingy. I'd 112 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 3: love a little dinghy just in the morning. But I'm 113 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 3: not going to do any rowing. That will be Rob's job. 114 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 2: All right. 115 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 3: Shall we get into the dilemmas? 116 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 2: Yes, all right, diabolical dilemma, the one hundred dollars wedding 117 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: gift scandal. 118 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 3: Okay, that's always a wedding. 119 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 2: It's always a wedding, you know, Well, weddings are a 120 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,359 Speaker 2: place of love and for friendships to fall apart. 121 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, so true. Yeah, two sides and then in twenty years. 122 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:06,600 Speaker 2: I just now that's janioush all right, girls, I need 123 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 2: to know if I'm the villain or. 124 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,280 Speaker 3: If this is late stage capitalism. 125 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,359 Speaker 2: My friend, let's call her Sophie, got married last month, 126 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 2: destination wedding. It was about three hours away, gorgeous vineyard 127 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 2: but very European summer. But make it bendigo obsessed. I 128 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 2: was a bridesmaid. I don't know why I had a testipop. 129 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 2: Then he's a bridesmad I was a bridesmaid. But let 130 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 2: me list what this wedding cost me. Three hundred dollars 131 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 2: on a bridesmaid's dress, plus one hundred dollars of alterations, 132 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 2: three hundred and fifty dollars hens weekend, one hundred and 133 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 2: eighty dollars on the hen's activities, plus one hundred dollars 134 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 2: on decorations because apparently we're splitting everything evenly. Then six 135 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 2: hundred dollars on travel and transfers. Four hundred dollars on 136 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 2: two nights at the hotel. The bride chose one hundred 137 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 2: and fifty dollars on hair and makeup in brackets Manda Tree, 138 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 2: and seventy five dollars on the uber home from the 139 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 2: Hens because I missed the last train. Why was there 140 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 2: a train involved anyway? Before I stepped into the ceremony, 141 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 2: I was down over two thousand dollars. Now here's where 142 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 2: it gets unhinged. The wedding registry mostly three hundred dollars 143 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 2: to eight hundred dollar items. It consisted of things like 144 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 2: Le crousette, smeg, toasters, dice, and vacuums, and there was 145 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 2: also a honeymoon fund option, but the suggested contribution started 146 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 2: at two hundred and fifty dollars. I decided I physically, spiritually, 147 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 2: and financially could not justify another three hundred dollars, So 148 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 2: I gave one hundred dollars cash in a card with 149 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 2: a very heartfelt note about love and lifelong friendship. Fast 150 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 2: forward three weeks and Sophie calls me. So, Sophie's the bride? Yeah, 151 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,679 Speaker 2: if he's still with me? Three weeks after the wedding, Yes, okay, 152 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 2: she says, she was surprised by my gift a mount. 153 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 2: She says most guests gave around two hundred and fifty 154 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 2: dollars to five hundred dollars, and she says she knows 155 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 2: how much I earn and that it just feels a 156 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 2: bit tight considering Oh my god. She then says, I 157 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 2: spent so much on you being in the wedding too. Girls, 158 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 2: the wedding was black tie, one hundred and twenty guests, 159 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 2: champagne tower with a live sax player at eleven PM, 160 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 2: and now apparently my one hundred dollars is the reason 161 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 2: she's upset. I later find out she didn't just notice, 162 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 2: but she bitched about it to a bunch of other people. 163 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 2: And now the energy in the group chat is tense. 164 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,079 Speaker 2: Two bridesmaids think I'm in the wrong because it's customary 165 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 2: to at least cover your plate, while one other friend 166 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 2: says the wedding industry is a pyramid. 167 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 3: Scheme and I've already paid my jube. Am I that friend. 168 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 2: Yes, our friendship has been really frosty ever since, with 169 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 2: very little replies, no memes, and I just don't know 170 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 2: what to do. I feel like I'm spiraling. Am I 171 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 2: cheap is being a bridesmaid? Basically the gift are we 172 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 2: in an economy where friendship is tiered by disposable income. 173 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,559 Speaker 2: Is this about money or is this about pride? Because 174 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 2: part of me just wants to transfer her another one 175 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars to just end it, and part 176 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 2: of me wants to send her an invoice titled Emotional 177 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 2: and Financial Labor Rendered. So tell me, is one hundred 178 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 2: dollars a diabolical wedding gift? Or is expecting more after 179 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 2: a two thousand dollars wedding out late? The real villain 180 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,199 Speaker 2: origin story that is so wild I can't believe she 181 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 2: called her. Also, can I just say you should go 182 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 2: into lack writing? Yeah, because I was really taken on 183 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 2: a journey there. 184 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:43,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was entranced. 185 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 2: I completely understand that it is customary to cover the 186 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 2: cost per head, right like I understand that that people 187 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 2: use that as a sort. 188 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 3: Of a baseline if they don't know how much. 189 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 2: However, the guest has no control over what that cost 190 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 2: per head is. 191 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 3: That's such a good point. 192 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:11,959 Speaker 2: And also if the other option is to say, excuse me, bride, 193 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 2: well you're getting ready for your wedding, what's the cost 194 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 2: per head for the wedding? 195 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 3: They tell you it's three hundred dollars. It's not just 196 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 3: like no, but that's what I'm saying. 197 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 2: So what you reach out to them, confirm what that is, 198 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 2: and then if that's out of your budget, you say, 199 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,439 Speaker 2: you know what, I'll RSVP no and I won't comet. 200 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 2: But then, but then you get shipped for not going 201 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 2: because it's her special day. 202 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 3: It's her special days, it's her special day. 203 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 2: So yeah, you're expected to be there and support. But 204 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 2: also then people get pissed because they're like, well, shit, 205 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,199 Speaker 2: I need to cover the cost of this, and they 206 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 2: expect that the people who are attending are going to 207 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 2: be paying some of that back. I do think it's 208 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 2: so weird to get pissy about the amount of money 209 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 2: someone's put behind a present for you, and like the 210 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 2: reason the bride's going, well, I know how much you earn, 211 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 2: which one, you're not entitled to her paycheck. But two, 212 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 2: I think the other piece of the puzzle is like 213 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 2: she's forked out a lot of money already, yeah, in 214 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 2: terms of being a bridesmaid, And now if I could 215 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 2: afford it, there are definitely people in this world and 216 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 2: in this life that I would be more than happy 217 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 2: to fork out a pretty penny for you know, for 218 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,320 Speaker 2: their wedding. 219 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 3: But if it was ever expected. 220 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 2: Of me, you're not getting a damn yeah, just out 221 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 2: a spy, Just out a spy. Like for you, how 222 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 2: much you want ten thousand dollars, You've got that Sally 223 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 2: one million, you can have the super yacht once my 224 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 2: share is Cashi exactly, you know, but. 225 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,280 Speaker 3: Like to think you're entitled to more. I've like, when 226 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 3: I went to a wedding, I think I was eighteen, and. 227 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 2: I remember calling mom and I had no idea how 228 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 2: much to give? Yeah, And I was like how But 229 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 2: also I was like eighteen, yeah, and in an entry 230 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 2: level media job. 231 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 3: I don't even think I was no, I was at union. 232 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 3: I was nannying ye. 233 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 2: Like, but even if you have a full time job 234 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 2: and you're set up financially, it's not your duty to 235 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 2: pay off somebody's wedding exactly. That's your prerogative to set 236 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 2: the budget and whether or not you want a champagne 237 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 2: shower and those. Do you have an ROI sheet of 238 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 2: your fucking wedding with KPIs of every single attendee. It's 239 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,320 Speaker 2: weird that it's like runners a business, yeah, exactly, When 240 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 2: like it's a party. 241 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 3: You're putting on a party. You want people to come. 242 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 2: Also, even if you are pissed off about the amount 243 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 2: someone gave you, I just think it's so weird to 244 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,439 Speaker 2: confront the person on it, being like. 245 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,199 Speaker 3: Oh I would throw up. I would throw up. 246 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 2: Like if the audacity to go to someone and be like, 247 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 2: why didn't you give me more money? 248 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, that is like actually wild. 249 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 2: So I did a quick google then because I was like, 250 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 2: weddings are are they a pyramids? 251 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 3: It's a fair question. Are they the new what is 252 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 3: it MLM? 253 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? 254 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 3: Exactly, Yeah, so a new typerware party. Seriously, weddings is 255 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 3: a new taperware party. 256 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,839 Speaker 2: So, according to Finder, the typical wedding guest in Australia 257 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 2: forks out a whopping two thousand, five hundred and ninety 258 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 2: three dollars to attend the wedding dress for the event, 259 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 2: buy the gift, and take part in pre wedding activities. 260 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 3: That is why that is not okay. Yeah, that is 261 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 3: not okay. 262 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 2: What happens if you have five weddings in a year, 263 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 2: That's what I was going to say. 264 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 3: That's over ten thousand dollars. I can't do. Master don't 265 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 3: quote that, Yeah, it's a lot of money. Let's just 266 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 3: say that. Yeah. 267 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 2: So the biggest expense is travel at an average cost 268 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 2: of one thousand and thirty eight dollars, followed by accommodation, 269 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 2: which is six hundred and. 270 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 3: Sixty five dollars. 271 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 2: So, according to this article from moneymag if you're asked 272 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 2: to contribute cash, as a rule of thumb, you should 273 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,199 Speaker 2: contribute at least what you would pay for a three 274 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 2: course meal. I suggest a minimum of one hundred dollars 275 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 2: and usually around one fifty to two hundred per person, 276 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 2: more if you're close to the couple or wish to 277 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 2: be generous. But also, I don't get to pick what 278 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,160 Speaker 2: I'm having for dinner either, and. 279 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,479 Speaker 3: I like, I'm a vegetarian. 280 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 2: It all sucks as a vegetarian one my meal is 281 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 2: always worth a lot less than everybody else's. 282 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,119 Speaker 3: And also it's usually pretty shit. 283 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 2: Like whoa Okay, wedding gifts cost attendees are staggering two 284 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 2: hundred and ninety five dollars on average. 285 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe what, maybe it's a good thing to 286 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 3: not have that many friends. 287 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 2: Nay money, that's like we were talking about last week, 288 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 2: Like you get priced out of your friendships. Yeah, if 289 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 2: it costs two point five thousand dollars to go to 290 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 2: a wedding, I don't need a free drink that much. 291 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 2: It's not a free drink at that point, is it. 292 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think totally up to you. 293 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 2: If you want to have like a beautiful, extravagant wedding 294 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 2: and you go all out and have you know, every 295 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 2: single thing that you've ever wanted on your wish to this, 296 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 2: that's amazing. But you do need to budget, Like you 297 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 2: need to budget your friends to pay you back for 298 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 2: the wedding that you chose to have. Like Rob and 299 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 2: I talk about like if you know the dream the 300 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 2: dream vibe of a wedding would be to go back 301 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 2: to this like really small town in Italy, right and 302 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 2: like one not engaged, two working on it. Three like again, 303 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 2: like that's a pasta thrown at a wall and see 304 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: if it sticks. Right, And there is no universe that 305 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 2: if anyone came to me and was like, look, I 306 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 2: just can't. 307 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 3: Make it work. 308 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 2: I can't get the time off work, I can't afford 309 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 2: it whatever, that I would be like you bitch. Yeah, 310 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 2: So it's like, yeah, you can do whatever you want 311 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 2: for your wedding, but you cannot control what other people 312 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 2: do exactly. So I don't think you're the asshole or 313 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 2: stingy or you're tight or whatever the question was. 314 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 3: And I think that in terms of would. 315 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,160 Speaker 2: You respond because part of me has had a coffee 316 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 2: on an empty stomach and is feeling flirty, that I 317 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 2: would get a bank statement and calculate the entire cost 318 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 2: and be like, Hi, Sophie, yeah, I've actually contributed this 319 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 2: much to your day. I'm really sorry you felt like 320 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 2: that wasn't enough. How much more do you think I 321 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 2: should contribute? What do you think is a fair amount 322 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 2: for me to contribute further to the above cost? Yeah, 323 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 2: maybe she doesn't know benefit of the doubt. Yeah, maybe 324 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 2: Sophie the bride doesn't know how much things like the 325 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 2: hens cost because they're not always privy to some of those. 326 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 2: And there were a few other things, you know, like 327 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 2: the uber and the fake tan that is like you 328 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 2: kind of have to if you to pay for the 329 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 2: the dresses, the makeup, and that it depends so different. 330 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, bridesmaidser wouldn't it? Yeah, me neither, but I think 331 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 3: it really varies. 332 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,399 Speaker 2: But yeah, that's so wild. I think this is a 333 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 2: tale as old as time. But if you come from 334 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 2: it with that, with the receipts, essentially with how much 335 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,160 Speaker 2: you have contributed, but also say, really, I just wanted 336 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 2: to be there for you on your special day. I 337 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 2: had an amazing time celebrating with you, and I would 338 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 2: hate for something like this to tarnish our friendship. 339 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. So a mix of logic and empathy, I think, 340 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:31,479 Speaker 3: is how you can That's really us. Yeah. 341 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,199 Speaker 2: Our next diabolical dilemma is it okay to have a 342 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,879 Speaker 2: crush when you're in a relationship. 343 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 3: Yikes, Okay, here we go. Please no names. 344 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 2: But I've recently moved into state for work and have 345 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,439 Speaker 2: been with my current partner for seven years since I 346 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 2: was seventeen, so she's twenty four. 347 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 3: Oh okay, so and also bibi. 348 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was like so ready to be married 349 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 2: and happy, et cetera, et cetera. Anyway, my partner is 350 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 2: still at home and I have the most diabolical crush 351 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,680 Speaker 2: on one of my colleagues. I'm talking nervous butterflies. Think 352 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 2: he's hitting on me as well, and he's honestly so hot. 353 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,680 Speaker 2: My partner has definitely cottoned on and I feel so horrible, 354 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 2: But I am genuinely just so in love with two 355 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 2: men right now for my life. 356 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 3: No, I know, Oh in love? 357 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I kind of want to dive into. 358 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,679 Speaker 3: Are we in love or are we in lust? 359 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 2: Zay Melick yeh exactly, say Maleck twenty twenty six called daddycast. 360 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 2: Oh my god, Okay, I think that in a relationship. 361 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,360 Speaker 2: Do you think it's normal to have a crush? 362 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 3: Okay? I looked it up. Yeah, okay, So. 363 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,679 Speaker 2: I looked it up and there is a study and 364 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 2: a report because you know, we love the science, yep, 365 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,280 Speaker 2: and it says as many as seventy percent of people 366 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 2: experience crushes while being in a committed relationship. 367 00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought so. 368 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 2: It made me like, not from a judgment point of 369 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 2: anyone else, but the idea of like Rob having a 370 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 2: crush on someone makes me want to throw up? Yeah? 371 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 3: How where ba what? I will say? One? 372 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 2: I think that stat shows that like if you ever 373 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,679 Speaker 2: do you know, start a new job and you do 374 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 2: have a partner and you've been with that partner phrages, 375 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 2: and you start a new job and there is someone 376 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 2: at that job that you're like, huh. 377 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 3: That's okay? 378 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 2: At a mind at a man talking to this person 379 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 2: at a mind, looking at them for extended periods of 380 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 2: time and smelling their breath. That it's like, you're not 381 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,600 Speaker 2: the devil, Like you're not evil for you know, maybe 382 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 2: having a little bit of a crush. 383 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:45,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, right, but it comes it's like how far are 384 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 3: we running with it? Exactly? 385 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 2: Is the point that it's like, yeah, if Jacob A 386 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 2: Lordie worked at our job, I'd be like, that is 387 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 2: one fun man wondering world, but I ain't gonna do 388 00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 2: anything about it. Yeah. 389 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 3: I think that's the thing. 390 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 2: Like you can think that somebody is hot or think 391 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 2: somebody is attractive when you're in a relationship. I think 392 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 2: that is pretty normal. 393 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 3: What are you gonna do? Not look at anyone exactly? 394 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,880 Speaker 2: But the fact that she finished saying, but I genuinely 395 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: am just so in love with two men right now, 396 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 2: fuck my life. 397 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,159 Speaker 3: I don't know if that's hyperbole. I think that it 398 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 3: probably is. 399 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 2: Can I also say she has been in a seven 400 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 2: year relationship since she was seventeen, And that's not to 401 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 2: say that like everyone that has gone into a relationship 402 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,879 Speaker 2: since they were really young, like doesn't have the space 403 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,199 Speaker 2: to grow and exploreing whatever, Like you have been in 404 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 2: a relationship since you were fifteen, right, and you've never 405 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 2: felt that way. But it's like potentially it's that point 406 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:51,159 Speaker 2: of what would she be twenty four that that's like 407 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:56,639 Speaker 2: the quarter life crisis era of like, hmm, have you 408 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 2: sold your oats? 409 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,880 Speaker 3: Have you experienced life to the fullest? 410 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,919 Speaker 2: And is this the catalyst that is making you be like, 411 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 2: maybe I'm not ready to get married, Maybe I do 412 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 2: want to. 413 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,399 Speaker 3: Explore some other things. 414 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 2: I'm not saying that is what she thinks, but I 415 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 2: know that there were times when I was younger that 416 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 2: I thought I was ready for more of a commitment 417 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 2: than I was. 418 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 3: And I'm really glad that I didn't lock in. 419 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,639 Speaker 2: Like I thought I was supposed to back then, because 420 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: I was able to then experience so many more things 421 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,560 Speaker 2: that have made me who I am. And so if 422 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 2: you genuinely think you're in love with another person, I 423 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 2: think you know what to do. Yeah, But if it's 424 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 2: just a crush, then like maybe real it back, yeah, 425 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,639 Speaker 2: because like the I think the flirting and that stuff 426 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 2: is where it starts getting a bit iffy. And she's 427 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,959 Speaker 2: said that her boyfriend has picked up on it, and 428 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 2: now it made me, so sad, I wouldn't be legally 429 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 2: responsible for what I would do. No if I found 430 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,919 Speaker 2: out that job was flown and had a crush with 431 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 2: someone I'm seeing, Yeah, literally damages. Yeah, I'm in lou 432 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 2: all of it. But yeah, I think you're in a 433 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 2: long distance relationship essentially now with your partner. Also makes 434 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 2: it ten times hard, So there's also that. 435 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 3: But this could be a blessing in disguise. 436 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,920 Speaker 2: But also you probably need some attention as well, which 437 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,120 Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that totally, but I think this could 438 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 2: be potentially a blessing in disguise. Because you've been with 439 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 2: your partner for seven years, since you were seventeen, this 440 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 2: can be like a good test period for the relationship 441 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,199 Speaker 2: as to whether or not you do commit to something 442 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 2: like marriage. You know what I mean, because yeah, you 443 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,639 Speaker 2: could be Is it that you're lonely? 444 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 3: Is it that you need attention? 445 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,359 Speaker 2: Is it that you haven't seen your part friend in 446 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 2: your long time, or is it that the relationship has 447 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,160 Speaker 2: gotten a little bit stale? And yes, you love this man, 448 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,199 Speaker 2: but maybe you're not in love with him. I'm going 449 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 2: to be so real if my ex of six years 450 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 2: and the father of my child came out on a 451 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 2: podcast saying that he but he didn't know if he 452 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 2: was in love with me ever, and that he thinks 453 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:08,440 Speaker 2: it was maybe more lust again suing for emotional damages. 454 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 3: Okay, so what do we think she should do? 455 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,919 Speaker 2: I think you really have to think of is it 456 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,720 Speaker 2: the forbidden fruit? Is it like the ooh this is 457 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,360 Speaker 2: sexy and flirty and fun and hot because one you're 458 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,119 Speaker 2: not my boyfriend and two I can't have you, and like, 459 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 2: is that what it is? Or is it genuinely like, Wow, 460 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 2: this person makes me light up and have sparkly eyes, 461 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 2: and I feel like I've got this new invigorated sense 462 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 2: of life, and like, don't act on that, but figure 463 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 2: out whether or not it's one or the other. 464 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 3: Exactly what do you think? I agree? I think that's 465 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 3: one half of the puzzle. 466 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 2: And then the other half is to look at your 467 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 2: existing relationship and maybe take stock of how that makes 468 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 2: you feel. Maybe you need to take some space from 469 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 2: that relationship, because you also still get the benefit of 470 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 2: having a boyfriend who like potentially messages you every morning 471 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 2: being like love you, hope you have a good day, 472 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 2: and you get those nice things of having a boyfriend 473 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,160 Speaker 2: and having someone you can rely on who's always there. 474 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 2: But then you also have like the hot guy at 475 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 2: work that you can flirt with and it's new and 476 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 2: it's fun. It's like you're having your cake and eating 477 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 2: it too. So I think if you look at your 478 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,399 Speaker 2: existing relationship and think to yourself, am I getting my 479 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,160 Speaker 2: needs genuinely met from this relationship even if I moved 480 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 2: back home? 481 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 3: Or was I just kind of comfortable? 482 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 2: Do you know? The thing I would do first before 483 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 2: any of that is probably pick a friend that you 484 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 2: just really really trust and that is like a good friend, 485 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,360 Speaker 2: and like tell them how you feel because they might 486 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 2: be able they would know one more than we do, 487 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 2: but they would probably be able to give you a 488 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 2: little maybe a little bit more insight to the situation. 489 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,159 Speaker 2: Then you can see because you've got you know, the 490 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,439 Speaker 2: different colored glasses on. 491 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, at the moment that maybe your. 492 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 2: Friend could be like no, bitch, Jerry is the best, 493 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 2: like no, exactly blah blah blah, or like she's been 494 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,439 Speaker 2: like no Simon from sales Sack like. 495 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, blah blah blah blah. 496 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, So like maybe you need to confide in a 497 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 2: friend with how you're feeling. That's like not going to 498 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,879 Speaker 2: judge you or be a bit about it, being like, 499 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,719 Speaker 2: that's really mean, Jessica. 500 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 3: Of people also get crushes. 501 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 2: Exactly, somebody who's going to tell you the truth. But yeah, 502 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,920 Speaker 2: with empathy, Yeah again empathy. We listen and we don't judge. Yeah, 503 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,159 Speaker 2: we listen and we don't judge. 504 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 3: Exactly. That was juicy. I love that way. Do we 505 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,479 Speaker 3: have one more? Super quick? Okay? 506 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 2: Ready, a final diabolical dilemma, bestie, double standards. Oh shit, 507 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 2: I need some clarity because I genuinely don't know if 508 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 2: I'm the villain here. Oh I was seeing locked in. Yeah, 509 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,439 Speaker 2: I was seeing a guy in my small town and 510 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 2: we had slept together. A bit later, our friend group 511 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,160 Speaker 2: went out for lunch, and he came up in conversation. 512 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 2: When my friend and I were alone, she told me 513 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 2: she'd also slept with him. 514 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,679 Speaker 3: Her on the Friday, me on the Saturday. 515 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:07,160 Speaker 2: Small town problem ship, small town problems, right. She said 516 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 2: he was weird, so I assumed that was the end 517 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 2: of it for her. Wait wait, wait, wait wait, So 518 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 2: the friend was the Friday and she was the Saturday. 519 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, and then neither of them knew. 520 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 2: No, okay, And then now the friend has said that 521 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,959 Speaker 2: he was weird, so she's like, okay, she's not that 522 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 2: into him. 523 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:28,160 Speaker 3: Can the friend be Lola? Yeah, Cola, Lola? And then main. 524 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 2: Character Okay, got it, So Lola and Mandy Lola slept 525 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,680 Speaker 2: with him. Lola slept with Jeff on the Friday, yep, 526 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,880 Speaker 2: and then Mandy slept with Jeff on the Saturday. 527 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay. 528 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,719 Speaker 2: Four nights later from the lunch, I randomly checked my phone, 529 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 2: saw one eleven on the clock, very trust your intuition, energy, 530 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 2: and decided to look at find my friends. 531 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 3: I saw she was at his place. Lola. Yep, Lola, 532 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,280 Speaker 3: is that Jeff's house? 533 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,399 Speaker 2: I messaged a couple of my friends like oh my god, 534 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 2: and one of the message her asking where she was. 535 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 3: Lola replied his place with the. 536 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 2: Side eye emoji. The next day, I was flying out 537 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,199 Speaker 2: for a festival on the same flight as Jeff. I 538 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 2: chose not to respond to him at all. That same day, 539 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 2: my friend messaged me asking if I was still talking 540 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,159 Speaker 2: to him and said things weren't serious between them. I 541 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 2: told her I valued our friendship more than a guy 542 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 2: and left it at that. 543 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 3: At the festival, the guy and I bumped into. 544 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 2: Each other he found out that I knew he'd let 545 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 2: with my friend and swore he didn't know we were 546 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,640 Speaker 2: friends and said she was the one who reached out 547 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 2: to him that night. 548 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,479 Speaker 3: I we'll have Instagram these days. Literally, Sorry, I keep 549 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 3: interrupting you. No, one thing led to another. 550 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 2: Too many drinks later, I ended up sleeping with him 551 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:43,359 Speaker 2: and again multiple times after that. So here's my question. 552 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 2: Does that make me a bad friend for doing the 553 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 2: same thing she did to me? Or is this just 554 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 2: messy small town dating with a side of double standards? 555 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 3: Mandy, Mandy, you dog, Mandy? 556 00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, do you know what this reminds me of? Yeah, 557 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 2: it reminds me of like is it Season two Emily 558 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:15,200 Speaker 2: in Paris when Emily and Camille Camie Camille both agreed 559 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 2: to stop pursuing Gabriel, so it makes Emily stop going 560 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 2: for him, but then Camille goes for him. 561 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. 562 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,160 Speaker 2: I know, I don't think anyone's doing that, but that's 563 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,879 Speaker 2: what it reminded me of. But also that's potentially what 564 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 2: your friend might think that you're doing that. 565 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 3: What I was gonna say, you've gone back and being like, no, 566 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 3: I'm not interested, but they're fine. 567 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, because the friends texted you being like, are you 568 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 2: still talking to him? Yeah? And did like she didn't 569 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 2: mention in that whether she said yes or no, right, 570 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 2: she just said that their friendship mattered more. Yeah, she said, 571 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 2: asking if I was still talking to him and said 572 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 2: things weren't serious between them. I told her I valued 573 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 2: our friendship and then a guy, and like that insinuates. 574 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 3: Though I value our friendship that I'm not going to 575 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 3: pursue it. 576 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's how I would read it if I 577 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 2: was on the receiving end. 578 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. 579 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, but then she her Lola has said that it's 580 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 2: not serious between them, but even. 581 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,360 Speaker 3: There are a lot. Jeff is probably not that great. 582 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 2: A man is a man, There's so many, there's so many, 583 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 2: Jeff is not the love of your life. No, he's 584 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 2: going to tell you guys right now? Is Lola and Mandy? 585 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:29,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's your song. 586 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 2: If they're like best friends, fuck Jeff off. Yeah, Jeff 587 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 2: sucks one because he continued to pursue both of them 588 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 2: after knowing they were friends. So I don't believe that 589 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 2: he didn't know that they were friends. We have Instagram, 590 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 2: You're in a small town. It's very likely that he knew, 591 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 2: and even if he didn't after the fact, he did know, 592 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 2: But I think that if you haven't already, you've got. 593 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 3: To tell her said multiple times after as well, and 594 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 3: just be like, I fucked up. I know. 595 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 2: I said that I value our friendship more than a 596 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 2: guy and I do. 597 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,360 Speaker 3: And these are the actions reflecting that. Yeah, and just 598 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 3: be like I'm so like, I'm sorry. 599 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 2: I regret what I did, and I know I said this, 600 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 2: and I know that potentially that's a double standard. 601 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 3: Or maybe I, you know, have gone back on my. 602 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 2: Word and just be honest about it, but I do 603 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 2: because after the brunch, did they like did she say 604 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 2: that they said that they weren't going to keep seeing 605 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 2: him and then she did go to his house or 606 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 2: did they just go like, oh, yeah, I slept with 607 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 2: him and she's like, yeah, I slept with him too, 608 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 2: And then Lola said he was weird, he was. 609 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 3: Weird, but that she just meant it was the end 610 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 3: of it. But that was it. 611 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 2: Like there was no like, oh shit, like I won't 612 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 2: sleep with him, then you won't sleep with him, Like 613 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 2: nothing was agreed. But maybe it's like an unwritten rule 614 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 2: of friendship that you would both hopefully. 615 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 3: Unless it's like literally don't have the same type. Yeah, 616 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 3: I know that would have been better, That would not be. 617 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 2: Good, but I don't think it would ever come to that. 618 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 2: But no, Yeah, I think you just have to be 619 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 2: honest with You've got to read the band aid off 620 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 2: and be like, I fucked deaf. Yeah, because she's asked. 621 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,920 Speaker 2: Does this make me a bad friend for doing the 622 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 2: same thing? 623 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 3: I don't think so. 624 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,760 Speaker 2: But if you continued to do it and didn't tell 625 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 2: her like you've written in, because clearly you have. But 626 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 2: the fact that you do have guilt, I think means 627 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 2: that your heart is in the right place and you 628 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 2: care about your friend. 629 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 3: We've all been there. We've made a cheeky. 630 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 2: Decision about a boy, and you know what, the reason 631 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 2: why you probably. 632 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 3: Like him is because it feels still bad. 633 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is so exciting and I'm naughty girl. 634 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,120 Speaker 3: It's again the forbidden fruit. It's a bit of fruit. 635 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 3: Everyone go eat a vegetable instead? Yeah, exactly, whatever fucked 636 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:54,719 Speaker 3: anyone over broccoli? So true? Somebody has like a broccoli allergy. 637 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 3: I'd like to speak up. 638 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 2: Well, as always, please tell us what happens after. 639 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, we love we love check in you know how 640 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 3: like the morning show, they'd be like where are they? 641 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 2: Hell? Yeah, exactly love that, So please give us the 642 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,800 Speaker 2: tea and thank you so much for your very vulnerable 643 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 2: and open stories. As a result, you're all getting a 644 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 2: fifty dollars if voucher forever the bloody hell you. 645 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 3: Want your inbox? 646 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll reply to your emails with that, and if 647 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 2: you have a diabolical dilemma or confession, please send it 648 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 2: to us. We love them and we're going to be 649 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 2: doing these every single month. So not only do you 650 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 2: get some ten out of ten advice, might I just say, 651 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,480 Speaker 2: but you also get a little cheeky voucher with it 652 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 2: as well, So you can email that to hello at 653 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,160 Speaker 2: two brochicks dot com dot au don't forget the au 654 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,040 Speaker 2: and that's a wrap. 655 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,760 Speaker 3: Thanks so much chicks for having us in your ear holes. 656 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 2: We love to be Love your chickies, Love you Ma 657 00:32:55,240 --> 00:33:04,160 Speaker 2: stay safe out there, hope. Yeah, the bus intensi