1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: Get I thanks for downloading the episode. My name Josha. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: Chris Kohler was here last week, amazing guy. We briefly 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: spoke about what each of us learned about money from 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,120 Speaker 1: our parents. He and I could not have had more 5 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,919 Speaker 1: different stories. Chris's dad, Alan Coler, is one of Australia's 6 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: most respected financial journalists. His capacity to explain complexity around 7 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: money sits at the top of a mountain of financial 8 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 1: journalists and bloggers, authors. And my dad, on the other hand, 9 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: was a highly respected rheumatologist. He had been a refugee 10 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: at one point in his life and like many people, 11 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: had to hire accountants and lawyers to manage things. Didn't 12 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: make him a bad person, that's just not his expertise. 13 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: I mentioned this because what we learn about money from 14 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: our parents affects us for the rest of our lives, 15 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: and it even affects our choices, could even affect our 16 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: choices around elections. Like if you have a relationship to money, 17 00:00:55,640 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: that is a relationship of scarcity. Any kind of pole 18 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: or political messaging that says they're going to text you this, 19 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: and your energy is going to cost that, and your 20 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 1: petrol are going to cost that. Eggs are going to 21 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: cost like you fuck, I don't want that, And you 22 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: might make an emotional decision that is based on something 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: that is from a long time ago, and you might 24 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 1: not even be in the financial position. If you've never 25 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,839 Speaker 1: thought about your story around money, you might not actually 26 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: realize some of the choices you're making right now, which 27 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: might be limiting you and the options you're giving yourself 28 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: and your family not only right now, but also twenty 29 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: years from now. And because you can't be what you 30 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: can't see, I'll go first, all right after the break, 31 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:41,040 Speaker 1: I'll walk you through my money story and hopefully that 32 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: might inspire you to have a bit of a look 33 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: at things in your life and the way you and 34 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,919 Speaker 1: money have a relationship, because after all, the relationship between 35 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: you and money is pretty much one of the most 36 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: important relationships you're going to have in your life. Back 37 00:01:54,480 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: after the braain, thanks for listening to the show. This 38 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: is better than yesterday, making a better every episode since 39 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: twenty thirteen. Something you hear on this episode and every 40 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: episode will make your day better than yesterday. That there 41 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: is a one hundred percent guarantee of my name's not 42 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: Andrew g No, my name's Oshakinsburg. Thank you so much 43 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: for joining me. I'm here every week Mondays and Wednesdays. 44 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: Mondays it's you and me. Wednesdays, I've got a guest 45 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: if you want to come and be with me actually 46 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: in the same room Story Club on the thirteenth of April. 47 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: List the next show. We do it every single month. 48 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 1: The next one's on the thirteenth and Duncan Fellows Lindsay McDougall, 49 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: Lindsay from friendzil Rum is going to be there as 50 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: his analys constable Alex Lee. She's fantastic. You've seen her 51 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: on Q and A. You've seen her on Growing, You've 52 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: seen it. She's really good. Also, Zoe not on Lodge 53 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: and myself will be there. Tickets through in the show notes. 54 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: Get about it because as long as many left, so 55 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: are you ready to think about your money story, your 56 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: relationship to money, and how you feel about money, making it, 57 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: not making it, saving it, not saving it, spending it. 58 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: Of course you're not. I'm not. I'm terrified to even 59 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: consider it. My hands are shaking as I'm saying this, 60 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: but I have learned over the years that if I 61 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: just take a big breath and then slowly exhale. Where's 62 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: I click on the link which shows me my bank balance. 63 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: I'll be okay because avoiding the idea of money and 64 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,679 Speaker 1: dealing with money is something that has cost me way 65 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: more than the false sense of safety that I got 66 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: from not thinking about it or not talking about it 67 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: or not dealing with it. There was a time in 68 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: my life when I was a roadie. I was earning 69 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: fifty dollars cash in hand, four or five gigs a 70 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: week we would play. At that point, my entire financial vision, 71 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: my long term goal was save enough money for bus 72 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: fair to get me to the load in for the 73 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: next gig on Wednesday afternoon, spend the rest on beer. 74 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: That was it. I was eighteen. I saw other people 75 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: my age, people have been to school with and stuff 76 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: they could afford, cars and things, they could go on 77 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: trips to Europe using money they'd saved from working, to 78 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: think about how they might have achieved that. The way 79 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: it made my brain feel then is how my brain 80 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: feels right now and still when I try to picture 81 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: what happens at the edge of the universe that we 82 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: live in. Where does it end? Does it end? Well? 83 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 1: Like my brain can't compute it like I could see 84 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: these people, you know, having goodbye parties because back then 85 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: there's no Facebook. Yout just to go to a house party. 86 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: Another way they go No, I got no out of France. Okay. 87 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: By It's like, how do you you have? What you saved? 88 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: Four thousand dollars? I didn't know what that was. However, 89 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:42,280 Speaker 1: once I started making TV money, that strategy didn't change. Unfortunately, 90 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: I've got no choice but to kind of, in one way, 91 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 1: laugh about it, but also use it as a way 92 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: to remember what can happen if I fall back down 93 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: that hole again. But I'm not lying to you when 94 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: I tell you I wasted hundreds of thousands of dollars. 95 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 1: I was afraid to think about my own money. If 96 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: it sounds nuts, it is nuts, because I was also 97 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,720 Speaker 1: kind of nuts when a lot of those choices were made. 98 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: Because I went quite quickly from working in radio basically 99 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: leaving paycheck to paycheck with only just a very short 100 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: amount of time, less than two years, to earning more 101 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: money than I knew what to do with. I spent 102 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: years working with a system of paying my bills, which 103 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: involved me putting the envelopes containing my bills into a 104 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: drawer that I'm going to get to, but never ever 105 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: got to more than once I knew that it was 106 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 1: time to pay my phone bill because my phone stopped working. 107 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: That was it. That was my signal to pay the bill. 108 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: The discomfort of having to think about something I didn't 109 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: understand was so great. Putting it off was my only choice, 110 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: and the discomfort I was avoiding was absolutely dwarfed by 111 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: the shame and the panic that I felt when I 112 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,799 Speaker 1: now had to urge drop everything on the Tuesday morning 113 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: to race around and get my phone reconnected, emptying my 114 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: bank account of what was last week's pay because I 115 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: now needed my phone because I had to use it 116 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: for work. But then having you know now I paid that, well, 117 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 1: how am I going to pay the rent or buy food? 118 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: I don't get paid for another ten days? But what 119 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: happens now? This sort of thing happened again and again 120 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: and again, and would confound My girlfriend at the time. 121 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: She did her best to help me, she really did, 122 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: but eventually she just stopped trying, and I stopped trying too. 123 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 1: Once I started to make that big TV money, why 124 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: should I try to put money away when I was 125 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: making more money than I could spend? It was two 126 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: thousand and four, two thousand and five, whatever, like i'd 127 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,840 Speaker 1: I would go clothes shopping. I'd blow a thousand bucks 128 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,799 Speaker 1: on clothes I would never wear, just because I was bored. 129 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: And I know now shopping is a form of avoidant behavior, 130 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 1: and no amount of that was working to make anything 131 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: feel better, because I like kind of mid two thousand 132 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 1: and five, after we'd gone around the country and done 133 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 1: all the auditions for Australian Idol before we started the show, 134 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: I was shut it up good and tight. I was 135 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: in my house. I wouldn't leave for days at a time. 136 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: I'd yet to be diagnosed with social anxiety, and being 137 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: on the street was increasingly frightening. Every gaze from a 138 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 1: stranger really felt like it. It felt like a stab 139 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 1: in the side. It felt really painful, physically painful. I 140 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 1: started to become afraid of even speaking with people that 141 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: I worked with, people that I knew. But if I 142 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: don't like speaking with people who I work with, how 143 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: am I going to get a new deal on TV easy? 144 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: I hire somebody to do the speaking for me. I 145 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: hired my first real manager. All this work was just 146 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: flying in the door, but I was procrastinating on all 147 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: of it, because it meant that I would need to 148 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: talk to people in order to get them over the 149 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 1: line and to sign the deal. I already had Australian idline, 150 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: I had Channel V. I'd been offered a new job 151 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: doing a TV commercial for the Ford Motor Company. But 152 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: my sense of self worth is the other thing about 153 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: the money. I didn't felt I did not deserve what 154 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: was happening. Now, that's not a great position to take 155 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: in a negotiation. You don't give yourself a lot of 156 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: leverage when you're there. So I hired a manager who 157 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: charged twenty percent, mind you, and I handed over the 158 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: deals that I had lined up, and I sent him 159 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: into battle and he went off and negotiated those contracts. 160 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: But he was a machine. He ended up getting me 161 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: more money than I knew what to do with. I 162 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: was on holidays with my brother Ed. I was up 163 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: in Japan. I've got the call to say, oh, between 164 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: Ford and V and IDOL, you're going to bill a 165 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: million bucks this year. But having seen the way my 166 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: parents handle their money, They've both been refugees at one point. 167 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: The way they handle it was the way that they 168 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 1: knew how to handle it. I knew, well, I don't 169 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: know anything to do with this kind of cash. My 170 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 1: folks never had this kind of money. I don't know 171 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: what to do here. But that's another problem. And now 172 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,199 Speaker 1: had to find someone that had to do it for me. 173 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 1: I had to hire someone to help me invest his money. 174 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: But being so afraid of interacting with people had left 175 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: me with a terrible habit of whenever I was forced 176 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: to deal with someone that I didn't know, I would 177 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,680 Speaker 1: say and do anything to make the interaction come to 178 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: a conclusion as quickly as possible. I'm talking people that 179 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,079 Speaker 1: I was buying my groceries off people at the post office, 180 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 1: buying those T shirts that I said before. Like anything 181 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: that I could do to not engage with that person, 182 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: I would do so, rather than you know, take the 183 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,559 Speaker 1: time to critique and do my due diligence on what 184 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: advice this financial advisor that I'd engaged was giving me. 185 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 1: I would rush into the room in his office. I 186 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: would put my signatures on the dotted lines of countless 187 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: pieces of paper they were put in front of me, 188 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: and I would rush out of the room as quickly 189 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,960 Speaker 1: as I could. I would I remember signing these contracts 190 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 1: and things with an outstretched arm, almost almost looking the 191 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: other way. And look, you might think this is a 192 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: terrible way to invest large sums of money. And if 193 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 1: you thought that, you'd be absolutely right. I just didn't 194 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: want to have anything to do with the success that 195 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: I was having, and it showed if there was a 196 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 1: some good, dodgy agri business on the market in two 197 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 1: thousand and five, two thousand and six, I'd be the 198 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,559 Speaker 1: stupid idiot that puts six figures into it. Way later on, 199 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: you know, as part of getting sober and looking at 200 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: the damage that i'd caused, I figured out it was 201 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: about probably over six hundred thousand dollars AH that I 202 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,839 Speaker 1: blew on just like half assed tax minimization schemes, and 203 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: all but one left me eternally liable for the management 204 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 1: fees that i'd guaranteed i'd pay even if the investment 205 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: didn't turn a profit. Back when I was signing all 206 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: those forms looking the other way, I wish that I 207 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: could tell you that this was the end of me 208 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: wasting money. It wasn't. It did eventually change, though, And 209 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: I'll tell you how after this broak, you probably didn't 210 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: think that you'd be listening to me telling you how 211 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: I blew over six hundred thousand dollars on bullshit here 212 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: on a Monday. But here we are. I'm certainly not 213 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 1: asking you for any sympathy, not at all. I don't 214 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: have any sympathy for the guy. But I understand why 215 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: that guy made those choices. Those choices. It still affect 216 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,079 Speaker 1: my life today. I forgive that blow. You know, that's 217 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 1: the guy that did that thing. I can't unchange it, 218 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: but I can use that icky feeling and my stomach 219 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,439 Speaker 1: when I think about it and go, I'm going to 220 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: make a different choice today. It's just so interesting looking 221 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: back at that guy. He's so far from who I am. 222 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 1: I barely barely recognize him. He blew so much money, 223 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,960 Speaker 1: So I blew so much cash on just the most 224 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 1: dumb shit. I take around the world business class flights 225 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 1: for twelve thousand dollars at pop because there's no way 226 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: I could handle being in economy class. Why do that 227 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: when I can sit up the front and just have 228 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: endless booze? Fuck me, I can't. I don't even want 229 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 1: to think about how many times I did that. It's 230 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 1: very very different these days, and because two very different 231 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: things happen. Number One, I got sober, and that really 232 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: helped because I had to have a look at why 233 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: what was I avoiding? What are all the reasons that 234 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: I'm avoiding? What a wall of things I'm avoiding here 235 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: that's leading me to do things like drink and spend 236 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 1: and all that kind of shit and gamble. But the 237 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: other thing is that I listened to someone who wasn't 238 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: me when it came to choosing an accountant. Because when 239 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: I came back to Australia in twenty fifteen and when 240 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: I moved in with Audrey, I was still using one 241 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,679 Speaker 1: of the accounts that i'd hired back when I was 242 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: still drinking. And one of the things that Chris Coler 243 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 1: is what I'm talking about this today, is when Chris 244 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: Coler talked about it, what do you call it, the 245 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: tactics of confusion used by the finance sector. When he 246 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: talked about the tactics of confusion, I just got this 247 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: flashback to what things used to be. I started bringing 248 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: Audrey with me to meetings with this accountant because I 249 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 1: just couldn't grasp what they were talking about. And she 250 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: took one look at the business structures which had been 251 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: set up, and it was almost like they were deliberately 252 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: difficult to comprehend, Like when I first hired them back 253 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: in the day, they'd seen me coming down the street 254 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: and gone, ah, hey Colin, yeah, Colin, can you get 255 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: the triple Sandwich shell Company trust distribution model out of 256 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: the out of the cabinet? Yea, it looks like about 257 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: five thousand dollars worth of annual management. He's about to 258 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: walk through it like, hey man, how you going love 259 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 1: the show? Welcome, come on and sit down. That's pretty 260 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:11,199 Speaker 1: much what happened. Thankfully. I listened to Audrey, who quite 261 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: like the moment we got back into the car, she 262 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: used the word shonky in a sentence, and I was like, okay, 263 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: all right there. Well, the people I work with now 264 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,839 Speaker 1: next level. They will wheel a big whiteboard into the 265 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 1: room and draw on it with big shapes in different 266 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 1: colors to help me understand things. And it's because of 267 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,680 Speaker 1: these people now, with the downturn and the TV industry, 268 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 1: I'm able to stay living in the house that we're 269 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: in right now. They're the reason that me and my 270 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 1: family have runway cash runways. Chris and I were talking 271 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: about the other day and They're also the reason that 272 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,559 Speaker 1: I'm able to look at and confront kinds of things 273 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: I would never ever have dreamed of facing back in 274 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: the day, Because you know, there's one thing that's true 275 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 1: about runways. Wherever they are on the world, they end, 276 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: And there is an end to the runway that we're on. 277 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 1: It's still a while way, but it is inevitable. And 278 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: knowing that date, that moment is a confronting thing for 279 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 1: me to face. But I know that I can do it. 280 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 1: And the date does move around depending on how much 281 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 1: work's coming in. Well, I know I can email this 282 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: new money team and ask for them to can you 283 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,320 Speaker 1: just have to tell me that date, and with a day, 284 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: they'll write back and they'll tell me what their date is. 285 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 1: I might not look at that email for another day, 286 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: but I will look at it. My story about money 287 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,080 Speaker 1: is pretty much summed up by this. I know I 288 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: need it, I know I can make it, but thinking 289 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 1: about it not being there is so confronting. I'll do 290 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: everything I can to avoid doing anything I can to 291 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: make sure there's enough money there. Yeah, that's confusing, but 292 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 1: that was my money story. It slaps itself in the face. 293 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: That was my money story was being the operative word 294 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: because I don't. I don't act on that feeling anymore. 295 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: It is still there, mark my words. I'm even feeling 296 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: it in my body telling you about it now. I 297 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 1: just have to run through that reaction, feel it in 298 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: my body before I can make another choice. It happens 299 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: too quickly me to interrupt. I have to feel all 300 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: that dread and that wanting to avoid thing. But it's 301 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: like all the other stuff I've dealt with with my brain. 302 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: If I'm willing to be with the discomfort of the 303 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 1: automatic thoughts slowly, those thoughts have less power over me. 304 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: Like I always say, if I backed the way from 305 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: all the things in the world that frighten me, I'd 306 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: end up living my life on the head of a pin. 307 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 1: But if I'm willing to be with the discomfort of 308 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 1: those things, I've got more options other than no. Getting 309 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: sober helped a lot looking at what's going on and 310 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: helping identify impulsive behavior, and certainly the impulsive shopping stuff 311 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: doesn't really happen anymore. I know enough now to realize 312 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 1: that when Instagram is targeting me with a handheld DJ 313 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 1: deck gadget or I don't know, like a miniature video 314 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 1: game console with twenty thousand games in a eye, I'm like, okay, 315 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: then here we go, and I'll navigate all the way 316 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: to the page where it says ad to cart I 317 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: know it's to do ails screenshot it right, and then 318 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: I'll look back on that like a day later, two 319 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: days later through I'll look back at it. If I'm 320 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: still looking at it three days later, well, if I 321 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: really need it and I've talked to Audrey about it, 322 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: I'll get it. But five hundred and twenty four times 323 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: out of five hundred and twenty five I don't need 324 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: it and I don't get it, And that's really helped. Now. 325 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: I sat down here wanting to make an episode, you know, 326 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 1: showing how thinking about the way you relate to money 327 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 1: and your relationship to money and the feelings you have 328 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: about money can affect you in ways you don't realize. 329 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 1: I hope I've done that. I hope I've shown you 330 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 1: how useful it can be. And you know it can't 331 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: be uncomfortable. You've probably heard it in my voice. Thinking 332 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 1: about it doesn't make the problems go away. But once 333 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: you can know it, you're able to see what's happening, 334 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: and then you can make other choices. I hope this's 335 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: helped in some way if you want to think a 336 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 1: bit more about your relationship to money. There's a great 337 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: episode with Meggie Palmer came out in October. I scroll 338 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: back and you can find it there. Good luck, Thank 339 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 1: you for listening, Thank you for producing this. Adam Buncher, 340 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 1: you're great. I see you back here on Wednesday. We've 341 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 1: got Michael and Andrew Tierney from Human Nature. Well they're 342 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 1: just teeny brothers making a record, but it's a really 343 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 1: great chat. It's so nice speaking with those boys. Men. 344 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: They're all one of is old than me. It's really good. 345 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,959 Speaker 1: I know you're gonna love it. Thanks heeps for listening. 346 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: I'll see you Wednesday.