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Speaker 1: With k podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, I need to talk to you about something

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Speaker 2: very serious, and actually I just see he's very serious.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, I just want to know what you might

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Speaker 2: do in this situation. And really it's about boundaries within

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Speaker 2: a relationship. Fitzy, I kind of know what you're going

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Speaker 2: to say, but I just you're always the red, the heck,

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Speaker 2: the herring, the red herring.

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Speaker 1: He's more of a puffer fish, that's a rude, more

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Speaker 1: of a sale fish like slender Fast, dangerous.

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Speaker 2: Okay, moving on the headline, is this my husband likes

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Speaker 2: sleepovers with his best friend. I feel uneasy.

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Speaker 3: I just hate the words sleepover.

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Speaker 1: Well, sleepover suggests a level of intimacy.

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Speaker 2: Now it doesn't. I would think sleepover is trying to

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Speaker 2: make it quite casual, like you had sleepovers when you're

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Speaker 2: a kid. The thing is the husband's best friend is

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Speaker 2: a femi and a female that he used to go

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Speaker 2: to school. Get involved here, guys. This woman that they

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Speaker 2: are married, she just cannot shake these suspicions. Her husband

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Speaker 2: is always texting this old school power. Often he spends

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Speaker 2: the day with her, and now it has progressed into

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Speaker 2: sometimes staying overnight. I don't know how he excuses that,

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Speaker 2: whether it's I've had a few too many drinks. It's

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Speaker 2: better to stay over than to drink drive, of course,

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Speaker 2: but she just doesn't know what to say. Does she

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Speaker 2: get invited to these No, because what happened was they

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Speaker 2: had a school reunion after a very long time. He

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Speaker 2: had obviously lost touch with this girlfriend friend. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if they dated at high school, but a female

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Speaker 2: friend at school they were very close. And now his

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Speaker 2: excuse to the new wife is, we're kind of just

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Speaker 2: making up for lost time. It's been so nice to reconnec.

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Speaker 2: It reminds me of my childhood. She was always such

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Speaker 2: a good friend and is developing into another great friend now.

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Speaker 2: And the worst part of this story, I think is

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Speaker 2: that when she the wife says, look, I can't shake it.

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Speaker 2: I don't like this, he calls her silly. And see,

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Speaker 2: I don't like she's allowed to feel the way she feels.

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Speaker 2: Don't say she's silly for having these feelings, because I

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Speaker 2: think anyone would.

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Speaker 1: Feelings, right. Can I ask some questions here? Because when

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Speaker 1: you say sleepover to me, that means same bed, now, Tommy,

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Speaker 1: that's what I mean.

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Speaker 2: That's sharing a bed.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it is. Tommy and I've shared a

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Speaker 1: bed in New Zealand. Queens don't really have an issue

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Speaker 1: with that. If you're saying sleepover staying at someone's house,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't care if you stayed over at my house,

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Speaker 1: but I wouldn't share a bed with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. But if I stayed at your house, it's Lisa, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and Lisa and the kids would be there. I'm not

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Speaker 2: just coming no, I know, but what I'm saying is

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Speaker 2: there's no do you know what I mean? But there

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Speaker 2: would be no reason for that to happen, and it

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Speaker 2: just wouldn't be appropriate.

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Speaker 1: But I was showering separately would be a good start.

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Speaker 3: How do you get to a point where you go

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Speaker 3: over to someone's house for drinks and then you go,

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Speaker 3: I've had too many. Can't you get an uber home

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Speaker 3: or a taxi home? You don't have to stay over?

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Speaker 2: No, I agree, But I'm trying to.

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Speaker 1: Think in your world, I might have one or two

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Speaker 1: girlfriends that Lisa wouldn't care if I slept next to

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Speaker 1: in a bed.

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Speaker 2: I've slept with male friends in a bed.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't even put myself in that position.

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Speaker 1: You've got other options, Yeah, I know you do. I'm

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Speaker 1: just talking about the hypothetical if you had to share

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Speaker 1: a bed, would Lisa actually care? I think she would.

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Speaker 1: She would.

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Speaker 2: I think you ever slept with a different woman in it,

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Speaker 2: like a friend in the in the bed.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely no chance I would feel uncomfortable depends.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've got friends, so Eliza would be a

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Speaker 1: great example, very old friend of mine.

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Speaker 3: When are you ever ever going to be in athal Rock? Right,

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Speaker 3: so there's no other beds in the world.

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Speaker 1: It's hype ethical. We're I know what you mean.

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Speaker 3: But let's just say you had to explain it to Lisa.

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Speaker 3: You don't think she would feel uncomfortable, A think? So okay,

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Speaker 3: well you keep thinking that.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think she'd really care. It'd be the

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Speaker 1: same as Tom. I mean, when we woke up sponing Tom, I.

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Speaker 2: Was, well, I couldn't sleep that night because you're snoring.

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Speaker 3: Tom has had a T shirt on nothing else. Oh

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Speaker 3: my gosh, it was a Lakers.

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Speaker 1: Tom was a big bob. This is the Wiper with

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Speaker 1: Cape Ritchie podcast.

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Speaker 2: Look, guys, after we had such a success with our

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Speaker 2: singles ball, it's got me thinking about relationships and the

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Speaker 2: amount of people who were reaching out, maybe hoping that

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Speaker 2: they're single, and it could be that they have finally

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Speaker 2: paid attention to the red flags within the relationship. Do

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Speaker 2: you want me to get to some of these red flags?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I know we don't have long but I

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Speaker 2: just I want to say that. And this is talking

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Speaker 2: from a woman's point of view about her boyfriend, but

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Speaker 2: it could work vice versa. So I'm not like, you know, whatever, whatever,

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Speaker 2: But sometimes the red flags can show up within a

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Speaker 2: relationship when you're with somebody who might have incredibly low

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Speaker 2: self esteem, and that is awful for them, but in turn,

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Speaker 2: it kind of comes back on you and you end

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Speaker 2: up having to deal with it and not address your

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Speaker 2: own needs. So when someone says to you a lot,

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Speaker 2: maybe you're too good for me, you're too good for me.

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Speaker 2: So what that does is that there's an imbalance of power,

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Speaker 2: and then they you have to spend a lot of

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Speaker 2: your time reassuring.

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Speaker 1: Them that but I'm what, you're too good.

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Speaker 2: For me to any use, I'm for you, I'm too

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Speaker 2: good for you, and you're lucky that you get to

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Speaker 2: spend this amount of time with me. I don't care

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Speaker 2: what people think. Is another one, but I think that's

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Speaker 2: across the board. You know, when people are overly confident.

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Speaker 1: I don't care.

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Speaker 2: People who say they don't care what people think quite

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Speaker 2: often care the most.

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Speaker 1: It's up there with what's wrong. It's just the truth.

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Speaker 1: I just said the truth.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's funny you should say that, because there is

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Speaker 2: I'm just being honest.

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Speaker 1: I'm just being honest, which means, well, it.

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Speaker 2: Means I'm allowed to say whatever I want. I don't

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Speaker 2: have to be responsible for what I'm saying because I'm

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Speaker 2: doing you a favor by just being honest.

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Speaker 3: Guys, it's exactly the same as starting a sentence I'm

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Speaker 3: not racist.

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Speaker 2: But yes, but what about I'm sorry, but I love

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Speaker 2: the old apology. I'm really really sorry. But if you

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Speaker 2: weren't such a I wouldn't have to act this way.

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Speaker 1: And then often it finishes with Kate, do you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm Do you know what I mean? Do you

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Speaker 1: understand what I'm saying?

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Speaker 2: I want you now to agree with me about what

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Speaker 2: I've just said about.

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Speaker 1: You part of the conversation.

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Speaker 2: There's a few others. I was joking. It's not a

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Speaker 2: big deal. You're too sensitive. I'm not perfect. Basically, I

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Speaker 2: think they're all just a cover for excusing a bit.

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Speaker 1: Of bad way. I do a lot of it. I'm

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Speaker 1: not perfect, do you? And that's we talk about the

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Speaker 1: theory of back the eighty eighty percent is good enough.

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Speaker 1: It's never going to be one hundred. Don't expect a hundred,

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Speaker 1: but take eighty every time. Back the eighty leases at sixty.

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Speaker 2: Sixty, Got a Lucky Lady, the.

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Speaker 1: Fits and with a with Cake whichie podcast.

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Speaker 2: I do have a little relationship chat for you and

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Speaker 2: this this could be handy because you know, there are

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Speaker 2: big arguments within relationships, and then there are the little ones,

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Speaker 2: and some might say the little ones are the ones

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Speaker 2: that are kind of they needle in.

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Speaker 1: How does a frog start? Okay as a tadpole? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 1: How do you eat an elephant? One mouthful? Lot of time?

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Speaker 1: Little bits?

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't ever eat an elephant.

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Speaker 1: We shouldn't. They shouldn't be hunted or drugged.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely none of that stuff. There's a guy on TikTok.

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Speaker 2: He's he's just gone. He's so popular and he's a

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Speaker 2: therapist from Oregon and he's a viral sensation. They are

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Speaker 2: saying he has detailed the silly issues that can lead

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Speaker 2: to a breakup. So don't don't pass them off as silly, like,

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Speaker 2: actually give them the time, I mean something. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: break them down, because they can they can end up

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Speaker 2: poisoning a relationship. And I have to say social media

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Speaker 2: has a lot to answer for in this day and

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Speaker 2: age when it comes to dating and trying to keep

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Speaker 2: a relationship together. But my favorite one and please let

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Speaker 2: us know thirteen twenty four ten if this is a

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Speaker 2: massive cause of friction in your relationship. Is one of

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Speaker 2: the three silly fights that you can have with your

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Speaker 2: partner that can lead to the breakdown is that when

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Speaker 2: you agree to watch a TV show with your partner,

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Speaker 2: like you commit to you know, the season two of Hacks,

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Speaker 2: Baby Baby, Baby, Rain Succession. You know, like all of

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Speaker 2: these big ones you've committed. It's like a you have

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Speaker 2: a connection, it's a date, it's data, it's date night.

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Speaker 2: And and then what you do is you throw caution

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Speaker 2: to the wind and you think, I'm just gonna watch

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Speaker 2: a bit of this on my own. I can't wait

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Speaker 2: to see what happens with you know, x Y and

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Speaker 2: z J is.

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Speaker 3: A fiend for this.

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Speaker 2: Doing sneaky watching.

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Speaker 3: Well, we'll start I mean peaky blind as we started

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Speaker 3: and then she's already she's already a season in front

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Speaker 3: of me.

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Speaker 2: Like it, it's really disappointing, you know, thing, Fitzy, don't

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Speaker 2: you feel a lack of connection then, because it feels

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Speaker 2: as though the thing that you you know, it was

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Speaker 2: your moment on the couch at nine o'clock every night

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Speaker 2: the kids are in bed, and in some relationships, that's

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Speaker 2: that's all there is, is like on day to day level,

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Speaker 2: you're finally.

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Speaker 3: It harder to pick a movie together as well. Like

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Speaker 3: back in the day, we used to love that process

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Speaker 3: of going through thriller. I feel like the genre of

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Speaker 3: a thriller tonight, let's google thriller movies best and then

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Speaker 3: see what comes.

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Speaker 2: And then you don't watch anything and you have an argument.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you this for for free, stay tuned. The

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Speaker 2: amount of arguments I have had about the movie choice

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Speaker 2: where in the end and it's so It's what's so

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Speaker 2: disappointing about it is that it shows your lack of

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Speaker 2: ability to solve these small problems in a relationship because

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Speaker 2: you keep making the same mistakes over and over. You

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Speaker 2: pretend that you're choosing together. They want to watch something

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Speaker 2: that you don't want to watch you crack them because

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Speaker 2: you're not going to watch that. And I know in

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Speaker 2: my head, I don't just see it as the movie.

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Speaker 2: I spiral into a We're just not even suited. We

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Speaker 2: don't have the same we don't have the same interest.

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Speaker 1: It's a TV show.

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Speaker 2: I'm going out with a more.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. I started watching Emily in Paris together,

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Speaker 1: and then episode three you cheated on me.

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Speaker 3: Yes, just to get a bit of an idea of

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Speaker 3: your taste favorite movie. I've never asked you this, but

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Speaker 3: what is your favorite movie of all time?

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Speaker 2: Furios? I know you know what I do. Remains of

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Speaker 2: the Day, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Interesting Sean, what's the ongoing war you've

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Speaker 1: got with your partner, buddy?

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Speaker 4: So it is the it's the series. We started watching

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Speaker 4: Baby Reindeer together, watched episode one, then my partner had

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Speaker 4: a day off sick and binge the entire series.

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Speaker 3: Couch, not just one episode, sewn the entire series.

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Speaker 4: The entire series. So yesterday I did the opposite it

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Speaker 4: was one of another series, and got them back.

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Speaker 2: That's really mature of.

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Speaker 1: You, short, buddy.

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Speaker 2: Well, you need to make that phone. You need to

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Speaker 2: make a phone call.

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Speaker 1: You do to the divorce lawyer Sean Cactus. It's over.

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Speaker 1: This is the Fitting In with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: I love these studies are done on the workplace, this

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Speaker 2: new study. There's always these things. Oh, you've got to

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Speaker 2: watch out for this in the workplace. Well, apparently there's

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Speaker 2: a there's a term. And give us a call if

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Speaker 2: you want to dub somebody in in your workplace who

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Speaker 2: was a bit like this, a busy bragger, the.

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Speaker 1: Oppice bragger.

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Speaker 2: No you mean no, No, you're confused. You're you think

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Speaker 2: I'm saying a busy bragger meaning somebody is so busy

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Speaker 2: bragging what like about their new girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: No, you need to listen. This is not what I'm

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Speaker 2: talking about. Busy bragging is like, I am so busy,

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Speaker 2: I am so I am so. How is you humble?

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Speaker 2: Similar to I don't think it is humble at all.

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Speaker 2: It's almost I'm going to use the word Marta like

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Speaker 2: I even think you have a busy bragger. It's not

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Speaker 2: always in the workplace. It could be at home. It's

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Speaker 2: the person that does the most home. I'm not your

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Speaker 2: home work, housework, housework, How is your day? Well, and

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Speaker 2: I just had five minutes to myself, Well, then maybe

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Speaker 2: I can't.

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Speaker 5: Do it all.

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Speaker 3: I think we're all guilty of this. But towards the

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Speaker 3: end of the year, you know, when you've got a

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Speaker 3: lot of things on leading up to the end of

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Speaker 3: the year, and you're like, oh, man, I'm just creatively,

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Speaker 3: I'm gone, I've cooked. I'm so busy at the moment,

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Speaker 3: there's so many things on and I just can't concentrate

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Speaker 3: on work. I find that I do that at the

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Speaker 3: end of the year, leading into the Christmas break.

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Speaker 2: But I think that's also just a part of conversation.

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Speaker 2: Come the end of the year. It becomes part of

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Speaker 2: the dialogue, like how you going well, can't you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm just so glad that Christmas is around the corner.

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Speaker 2: From the holiday, it's people brag about being so busy

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Speaker 2: early in the year, to the point where you avoid

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Speaker 2: even asking them you know, how was there afternoon? Or

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Speaker 2: you know, well, once I've done this, once I've done that.

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Speaker 2: And I think people do it because they think that

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Speaker 2: it makes them appear more professional, more busy. Had a

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Speaker 2: really good employee, But the study suggests that in actual fact,

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Speaker 2: it does the opposite. It's like, well, if you can't

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Speaker 2: can't figure and cope with this, or if you were

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Speaker 2: working that hard, you wouldn't have as much time to

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Speaker 2: stand in the kitchen and brag about it. Under you are.

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Speaker 3: Can we go to Jason you had a busy brag?

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Speaker 4: Or at work Jason nating guys.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. We work in a direct marketing company and a

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Speaker 5: guy would he was a good salesperson that he used

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Speaker 5: to let everyone know about it, and he did it

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Speaker 5: so much that the boss had enough and he got

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Speaker 5: fired for it for being so busy. He was even

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Speaker 5: on a good Saturday night where he peak up. He

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Speaker 5: did let us, he let us all know about it.

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Speaker 3: They leave those crew.

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Speaker 5: So yeahs got thick of it and letting go. I

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Speaker 5: got to let you go.

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Speaker 2: You're a pain in the bomb, thanks, Jose Do you

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Speaker 2: think that people talk about this kind of thing though,

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Speaker 2: because they had this like they want to connect, but

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Speaker 2: they have a lack of communication skills, so they go

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Speaker 2: to the really obvious like yes, I'm really busy, Yes,

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Speaker 2: the weather's good or bad.

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Speaker 1: And I'm tired.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I believe already?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my goodness, Christmas will be here, Taylor.

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Speaker 1: What's your story?

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Speaker 4: Hi, guys, how are you going good? I just going

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Speaker 4: through it. I just think it's really funny when people

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Speaker 4: say that they're busy. I'm a nursed in accident emergency.

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Speaker 2: Taylor, You're like trying to have a day where I'm working.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, mates, one of us is busy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. It's dislocated your elbow. Mates, stuff complaining.

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Speaker 3: I am so flat out. I've had so many patients today.

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Speaker 2: I think it's like when people who don't have children

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Speaker 2: come to work and say that they couldn't sleep very well.

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Speaker 1: I'm tired. Taylor. Thank you for your call. You would

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Speaker 1: be our busy bragger.

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Speaker 2: I'm not the busy bragger. No, because I'm not a

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Speaker 2: basy back. Now, I'm not a busy bragger. I knew

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Speaker 2: we'd get to this part of the conversation because I

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Speaker 2: don't because you know what, I'm quite private. I don't

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Speaker 2: like come in and tell you all the things that

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Speaker 2: I'm before.

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Speaker 1: What you do in that way in attempt just try

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Speaker 1: and build interest, because you won't share what you're actually doing.

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Speaker 1: But I've got you. It'll be It'll be a promo meeting,

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Speaker 1: and it'll land and catle, grabber bags and go. It's important.

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Speaker 1: I must run.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't do that.

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Speaker 1: And then you see her and she doesn't even look

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Speaker 1: as she walks through the past the glass window, because

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Speaker 1: you know she's on a mission, because you have.

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Speaker 2: Such a sad little life. You're wondering about where I'm

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Speaker 2: rushing off to rather than focusing on your own.

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Speaker 3: We need to sort this out as a team, so

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Speaker 3: let's have a meeting after the show.

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Speaker 1: But I can't make it.

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Speaker 2: This is the f with Cape Ritchie podcast.

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Speaker 1: I want to bring down the mood into something a

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Speaker 1: little bit more relaxing now because my wife has just

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Speaker 1: got home from a three day hell through trees, a

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Speaker 1: sort of more car like massage music. Jess, we've got

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Speaker 1: something sort of you said Hawaiian. Yeah, I did say

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Speaker 1: this Hawaiian. This is sort of the Beat Boys, the

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Speaker 1: Suns Out. You can always play it here at Nova.

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Speaker 1: It's a great time to go away to a health sheet,

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Speaker 1: just sort of during school holidays and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: So timing is everything. But she had a good time.

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Speaker 1: She came back very relaxed. Man the barbe was so

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Speaker 1: chilled at home because she went for bushwalks and stuff.

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Speaker 1: She had me a video of a trapdoor spider. That's cool.

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Speaker 2: It was the yogurt and like sugar free no alcohol, no.

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Speaker 1: Sugar yeah, no phones either.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no husbands, no children.

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Speaker 1: Stretching, a lot of stretch, yeah, a lot of stretching.

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Speaker 1: She did this thing.

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Speaker 2: Did you do the quong? The course the thing in

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Speaker 2: the in the mornings where.

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Speaker 1: You come quong? Oh? Touchy?

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Speaker 2: No, not touchy, it's not touchy.

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Speaker 3: It's quo is it ty bo with billy blanks?

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Speaker 1: Quangdong? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Quong it's something like that. Did she do It's called

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Speaker 2: something else. It's really good, but you need to go

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Speaker 2: and have a look to set your cicadaan rhythm. You

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Speaker 2: need to go and look directly into the sun in

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Speaker 2: the morning.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Any ice baths or yea. She did

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Speaker 1: a bit of ice bath.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: G It was a tranquill for her. The three kids

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Speaker 1: through a tranquill.

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Speaker 2: I saw that were being fed. Well, two minute noodle action.

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Speaker 1: What's interesting. She came back and she said what was good?

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Speaker 1: Before she arrived, they booked her in for a massage

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Speaker 1: and she had what was called the low har massage.

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Speaker 1: What because that. So the Lisa said, I don't know

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Speaker 1: much about a Hawaiian massage or a lowha massage.

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Speaker 3: And she's also in a very similar marriage.

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Speaker 1: A low bar message.

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Speaker 2: That was grus.

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Speaker 1: That was not great. Lisa said, is it sort of

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Speaker 1: like a raiki type massage where your hands ho he

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Speaker 1: and you feel for different rake that would hurt? And

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Speaker 1: she said, well, it is energy based. So what I

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Speaker 1: do is I rub different parts of your body and

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Speaker 1: through your glands. I can tell with where the negative

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Speaker 1: energy is.

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Speaker 2: And then I released he was usual, the negative energy

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Speaker 2: is at home. I think they sing. I think at

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Speaker 2: mine they sang. On top of other things, they sing.

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Speaker 1: They do know my team.

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Speaker 3: Relaxing music or is it?

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Speaker 2: Is it?

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Speaker 3: What are they seeing?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I just was lying against this.

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Speaker 1: Or turn all the lights on? Really yeah, she found

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Speaker 1: it a little bit awkward.

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Speaker 2: But what happened was can you tell us about the gland.

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Speaker 1: To massage the glands? Which ones?

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Speaker 2: Because you have a few in your body.

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Speaker 1: I think they're sort of growing under the arm, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: around your chin there, what's wrong? So as she is

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Speaker 1: massaging Lisa, she starts yelling out dates twenty sixth of

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Speaker 1: February two. She starts yelling out fifteenth of March ninety six,

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Speaker 1: and Lisa saying, what are you doing? And she's saying, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm identifying traumatic times without a word of a lie.

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Speaker 1: So she's writing them down. She writes down three main

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Speaker 1: dates because the negative energy that is being released has

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Speaker 1: come from those times and that energy, that negative energy

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Speaker 1: has been stored in her body since that day.

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Speaker 3: When was your wedding anniversary?

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately was it? Wasn't your joke, oh was it? So

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Speaker 1: the three dates that were written down for the most

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Speaker 1: traumatic was July. It was like July twenty sixteen, and

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Speaker 1: that was when she had some post notal. Then in

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty three there was her mum got sick and

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Speaker 1: that was recognized her negative energy as well. And you're right,

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Speaker 1: September twenty thirteen when we.

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Speaker 3: Got married, Tom and I we were there, that was

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Speaker 3: pretty traumatic.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was very traumatized. So she had to work the

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Speaker 1: negative energy from that time period out of my wife's guys,

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Speaker 1: her hands, to the glands and out of the body.

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Speaker 1: And I'm just I thought it was a good time.

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Speaker 1: I thought the wedding was a celebration, would be.

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Speaker 2: A stressful time though, I mean it shouldn't have been.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think I organized most of it, or

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Speaker 1: the wedding plan I did.

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Speaker 2: She just had to sort the plan all the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Did you have seventy five people in your wedding.

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Speaker 1: Party's Whippa with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast walk

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Speaker 1: great shows like this. Download the Nova player, Fire, the

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Speaker 1: app store, or Google playing the