WEBVTT - Colombia Partying, Craving Community... And a Basketball Player 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.680 Okay, do you know the Beyonce version of mine with 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:07.760 j Balvin? You know you know what azul means When 0:00:07.800 --> 0:00:10.639 they say al are you with me? That means blue 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:13.200 are you with me? And they're talking about blue ivy. 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:22.640 Oh, I guess his back. Girls, Marris, welcome to first 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:24.759 things First, I'm brook bletting. My pronouns are. 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:27.320 She and Maddie meals. My pronouns are he and him. 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:29.560 And before we get started, I'd like to acknowledge the 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:32.320 custodians of the land on which we record, and for 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:35.000 me it's the Gatigel people of the urinations. 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.320 And for me it's a wondering people of the cool nation. 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.320 Let's let's do it. 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:44.040 Okay, cut the Columbia music. I've had enough of it. 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:51.400 Scratchy scratch, it was super fun. Maddy's back from Columbia, Guys. 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:55.400 I don't know why I say Columbia Columbia. Yeah, I 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:57.880 don't know why I say it. When I was like, oh, 0:00:57.920 --> 0:00:58.960 Matt's in Colombia. 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.720 Well, guess what. I hate to say it, but I've 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:07.120 been spelling Columbia wrong my whole life. I see on 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:09.360 the on the sheet here, on our run sheet, it's 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:12.759 spelt with a, Yeah, that's incorrect. 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:17.320 It's with an. I knew that. That's why I say 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:21.119 Columbia Columbia. See, I've had it right this whole time. 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:22.319 I thought I was saying it wrong. 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:25.520 No, you're saying it again. And my partner picked picked 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.720 me up on this a few months back and was like, 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:30.080 every time you send me a message about Columbia, you're 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:33.160 spelling it incorrectly. I'm like, I think that's because I'm 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:35.840 thinking of the Columbian Hotel on Oxford Street, and I 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:37.119 think it's spelt. 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:40.800 Like that Columbia because I see it on clothes and stuff. 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:44.080 M m. But it was amazing. I mean, it was 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.880 a whirlwind of a trip, you know, going over there 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:48.880 to meet the in laws, meet the family for the 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:52.600 first time. And there are so many things that I 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:56.640 realized about myself while I was there, but also about Australia. 0:01:57.120 --> 0:02:00.160 And one of the things that I realized is is 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:05.160 that Australia is really conservative. We are a conservative nation, 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:07.840 and I think that it's only when you leave the 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:09.320 shores of Australia that made. 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.640 I mean, we were like colonized by the British. Now 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:14.960 if you look at the British, their conservatives as fuck. 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:18.079 Yeah. And I'm talking with a wide brush stroke here. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.720 I'm talking, you know, when it comes to just how 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:22.919 we act, who we are as people, how we talk 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.520 to each other, how we operate in society. What I 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.880 realized is that like my first time in South America, 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:33.079 it is vibrant, it is energetic, it is loud. There 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:37.359 is not much shame that I could see. And when 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:41.959 I first got to Columbia, my partner's family had all 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:46.000 met me at the airport, right, and all signs, well, 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.000 well you would think so, right, you would think there 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.720 would be a couple of signs. Let me tell you 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:54.320 it was way more than that. It was a boombox, 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:59.600 a legit with music. They were all dancing. It was 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:02.680 like a pit when I arrived at the airport, and 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.680 at first I like died, And then you know what, 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:08.679 I was just like absolutely not having this shame. I'm 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:10.760 living in this moment, and because. 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:12.800 No one else is judging right on the other one, 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:14.959 like no one's looking at it, like blinking twice. 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:18.080 All the Latinos that were waiting for their families at 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:19.960 the airport all doing the same basically. 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:23.079 Matter like the Melbourne airport, just like imagine me flying 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.200 back into a perth and in our country and being 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:36.800 like you're smooth scared literally, or like take me home. 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:42.200 No, I'm telling you. It was like a big party. 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:44.920 And so from that moment of first getting there and 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:46.960 having his family welcome me like that, I knew it 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:48.720 was going to be so much fun. It felt like 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:51.240 there was so much love that was just like ready 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:53.800 to be poured out. And you know, I didn't speak 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:55.480 the language, but I was laughing the whole time. 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:57.720 Oh my god, like funny. 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.520 You know. Not a lot of his family can speak English, 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:03.880 which is totally fine. You know, obviously Spanish is their 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.600 first language. And the one thing that we all connected 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:08.960 on was humor. Like, even though they were just like 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:11.800 talking in their language, I was just laughing because I 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.400 could tell that it was just funny, you know, they 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:18.520 were just crack ups. And so, yeah, it was just 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:20.520 a whirlwind of a trip. But we went to so 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.400 many different locations. We ended up going to fourteen locations 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:24.640 in seventeen days. 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.000 That's a lot, It's a lot. 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.080 Yeah, do you see these bags under my eyes? Neither? 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:36.680 Do I rude? I didn't say anything, you said, yeah, No, 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:40.680 I did not did I. I was like no, I 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:44.400 was literally looking me like what bags your mom? Idiot? 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:47.600 No, but it was Yeah, it was so much fun. 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:50.880 Have you I know you went to Argentina for the challenge. 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:52.840 Yeah, but like that was the scene. Yeah that wasn't 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.919 as like viron as what your your experience was, like 0:04:56.000 --> 0:05:00.359 you know, we were filming the whole time, like yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.560 and most of the film crew and production were either 0:05:02.600 --> 0:05:07.600 American or Australian, so it was yeah. And then afterwards 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:11.279 we you know, when everyone sort of like this show ended, 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:14.400 we all stayed in Buenos Aires, but like we only 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.600 went to like the little markets that they have into 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:18.560 the city, and like that was about it. Like we 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:23.200 didn't really get to experience like the vibrancy of South 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:27.120 America and Argentina like I would have loved to. But yeah, 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:29.039 I was also a little bit scared because I feel 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.400 like I was walking around and there's like people holding 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:32.880 like massive guns. 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:34.320 Massive guns at the supermarket. 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:37.600 Yeah, like that was really quite confronting for me. Like yeah, 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:40.680 so but I know so many beautiful plays, Like I 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.839 really wanted to go to Peru whilst I was there, 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:47.960 but yeah, pretty much and just do that like massive 0:05:48.000 --> 0:05:49.880 hike and then get the train or the bus back 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:51.919 or whatever it is. Yeah, I would have loved to 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.880 do that, but yeah, no, one day, one day, it's 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:56.159 on my list. It's on my list. 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:58.200 I definitely know what you mean by you felt a 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.320 little bit scared, because before I went in to that environment, 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:03.839 I had all these preconceived ideas of how I would feel. 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:06.839 But I went with somebody who grew up there. I 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:09.720 went with a local, so it was a completely different experience. 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:15.440 But Denny is really precautionous. Precautionis he's cautious about crime 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.680 and about like they have this saying which is no 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:23.680 job papaja, which basically means don't show people that you're 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.320 wealthy or that you've got things that they could take, right, 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:28.400 So you don't wear fancy jewelry, or you don't have 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:31.359 your iPhone out on the street because in this country 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:35.280 it's really easy for someone to come up on a scooter, 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.120 you know, ride past, grab a phone right off. So 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:41.640 he was like really cautious, to the point where I 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:45.359 started to get annoyed because every time we'd get in 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:48.800 a car, he'd lock the doors and he'd tell me 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:52.480 to keep my phone away and I coming from Australia, 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:56.279 I just it felt like, oh, this is so annoying. 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:59.320 But then by the end of the trip, like obviously 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:02.040 I understood it, Like I understood that he comes from 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:05.000 this place, he's seen it all. 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:08.080 Did you see anything happen whilst you were over there? 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:12.440 That is I felt really safe. Yeah, so I felt 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.440 really safe. But he was really cautious about like what 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:19.200 could be possible, you know, especially in Cali where we 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:21.280 spent a lot of time. When we went to more 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:26.680 touristy areas like cart Hennah and his hometown of Cochrana, 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:29.000 which was like a small town where that was the 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:31.440 first location we went, he was more chill. But in 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:34.080 Cally he was like, you just need to be like mindful. 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:38.080 You need to like not like you couldn't leave anything anywhere, 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:39.560 Like even if you were sitting at a restaurant, you 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:40.640 couldn't have your phone. 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.680 On the table. Yeah, that's what I realized, Yeah. 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:46.000 Put your phone in your pocket, take off any jewelry. 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:49.720 Because it's such a difference. To hear, it was like, yeah, 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.440 it became a bit annoying, but I really enjoyed the 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.160 touristy locations like Carta hennah. Have you ever seen like 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.440 images of Carto hennah or you know anything about it? No, 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.840 it is such a picturesque place, Like it's this old 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:06.520 town in the north of Columbia where it has this 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:08.760 old wall that they built to. 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:13.320 Oh yeah, right, photos stunning. 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:16.680 Stunning and every building has like a beautiful big door 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:18.960 that it's basically an instagramer's dream. 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:23.360 Yeah. I was gonna say, like that just seems so picturesque. 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:27.240 And picturesque aesthetic is just like everything stunning. It's got 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.960 like horse and carriages instead of cars. And so we 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:31.920 had such a great time there, and then we went 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:36.480 off and skipped islands outside of Columbia and that that 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:38.840 was amazing as well, like beach clubs. And what I 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:42.520 love is that there's so many black people, like, oh, 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:45.280 you never see white like sorry to Rach, love you, 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:47.360 like I love you so much and I love my mother. 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:53.120 But you never see anyone. That's fine, You never see 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.760 anyone who's white, and that's like refreshing. Everyone is black 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:57.640 or a person gather. 0:08:57.720 --> 0:08:59.280 White people are the minority. 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:02.960 Yeah, no, legit. And if you see a white person, 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:08.199 everyone's looking at them like yeah, Like it's so refreshing. 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:11.360 To see that, like just so many black, beautiful black people. 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:14.840 Around and beautiful people too stunning. 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:17.160 But you know what, I realized, I have the sexiest 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:19.640 Latino man out of Columbia. It's Denny. 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:24.280 It doesn't surprise me. Yeah, I was like, did you 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:25.480 expect me to be surprised? 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:28.240 Like, I'm like, okay, I said to him at the 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:29.600 end of the trip, I said, Babe, you want to 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:31.720 know something. I said, You're the sexiest man I've seen 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:34.120 in Columbia. 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:37.199 He's like, you're looking at them, are you? Well? 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:40.439 Yeah, Like I was like, babe, where are the clones 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.199 of you? Like I want to I want to check 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:43.720 the man out. We even went to a gay club 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:46.040 once and there's no one there, nothing. 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:52.160 So what's like the vibe around like queerness in Colombia. 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:57.080 Well, it's a very Catholic country and a lot of 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:02.880 people are heavily influenced by the Catholic Church and Christian 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:06.559 as well, and so there's an acceptance there for sure, 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:09.160 Like there's this vibrancy, especially when you're in like a 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:13.040 club or something, but around family it's quite conservative, you know, 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.000 like Denny's. 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:19.319 Yeah, was meeting Denny's parents amazing. 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:22.240 I mean, his mom and I were talking via translate 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.440 days out, so I was like having mad conversations with 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:29.240 her in Spanish and like we were having the biggest yarns. 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:31.280 And then I got there and we couldn't talk because 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.600 I don't know the language. So that was like, did 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:34.400 you still have to. 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:36.800 Use your little like Google Translator? 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.640 Totally? Yeah. I was using the translate on iPhone and 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.400 that helped a lot. But the vibe, it was always 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:45.040 about the vibe. And on the first night that I 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:47.200 got to meet them all, like they all came together 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:50.040 and we all went in different like basically a convoy 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.200 to explore the city together. Wow, And they wanted to 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:56.839 show me around school excursion. It was so cool, and 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:00.520 we had a different relationship while we're in Columbia. I 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:02.800 must admit, like I feel like in Australia he's really 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:06.720 comfortable with sexuality, and in Columbia it was a little 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:09.400 bit different. I wasn't used to him not being affectionate 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:11.800 while we're in Columbia. But I just thought, Okay, I'm 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:13.760 just gonna have to like ride this wave of like 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:16.000 us being a little bit less like we are in 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:21.719 Australia to respect his family's values and also just like, yeah, 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:22.480 be respectful. 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:25.360 I suppose yeah, especially if they you know, follow the 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:31.600 church and everything. I can get that actually, So yeah, wow, 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:36.600 seem at the family, the whole community, dancing, singing, eating. 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:39.280 How was the food? Was the food fucking phenomenal? 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:42.280 Okay, so two minds about this. Some of it was 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:44.559 great and some of it I will never eat again. 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:48.040 But then his mom's food was amazing. So I loved 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:49.960 the beans she cooked. They eat a lot of like 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:54.600 pork belly, a lot of like salad. Yeah, really good food, 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:59.120 really good food. Other than that, and their fruits are different. 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.880 They have these wild fruits that are like so sour 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.040 that when you drink it, it's like your face goes 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:04.240 like this. 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:08.920 Like like LEMONI kind of like shit. 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:12.480 It's called something, and it's like you order it at 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:14.040 the shops and you sit and drink it. Like they 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.120 have they have traditions, you know, you go to the 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:17.840 you go to the shopping center, and you order this 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:19.960 drink and you sit there and eat this food. Like 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:24.439 there's a little traditions that I realized that you're really 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:25.320 cool to be a part of. 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:28.319 That's so cool. I'm actually so jealous, like I would 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:31.520 love to be immersed in like another country, but like 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:35.120 we're the local, like their nose or this stuff Latino 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:38.600 and okay with you know money, let me know. 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.200 The women are beautiful, so maybe it's about you know, 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:44.319 maybe it's your time to shine with a woman. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.040 So what was your I guess what was your lemon? 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:53.080 Your sour? And then what was your orange? Is sweet? Okay? 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:56.440 My sweet? Was that I've never had this experience where 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.000 you don't know what's going on because you don't speak 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:00.880 the language and you just have to go with the flow. 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:04.440 For me, that was amazing. Everyone would be talking about things, 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:06.640 everyone else would know where we're going, what we're doing, 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:11.360 and I just get in the car, and there's. 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:13.840 Something about it. I can imagine, just like little Maddie 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:16.280 being like I'm just getting told what to do. Yeah, 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:18.319 I just go with I just I just go with 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:18.680 the flow. 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:20.800 And then I would be like, babe, what are we doing? 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:22.599 Where are we going? And he'd be like, oh, we 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.679 going to this place. Like I would have no idea 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:28.360 that they had like his whole plan and everyone you 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:30.520 were doing except me. But there's something about that that 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:33.600 relieved the stress of what you were doing the sower 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:37.000 of the trip. There wasn't many things that went wrong, Like, 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:39.280 we had a really good time. I learned a lot 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:41.280 about Denny, I must say, you know, I learned a 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:41.880 lot about him. 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:43.720 You feel like your relationship is stronger. 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:46.800 Yeah, I feel like I know more about him. I 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:51.640 feel like we had really good conversations while we were 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:56.880 away as well about like future stuff. Okay, and I 0:13:56.920 --> 0:14:00.280 think that, like I'm in a better position to really 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.160 understand who my partner is, and I like that. 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:05.120 Did you guys talk more about baby stuff? 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:07.400 Yeah, we did, And even on the way home, we 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:10.920 spoke about like possibly moving to Metagin for a year. 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:14.840 To have the baby for the surrogant. 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.560 For therogacy be there as part of the pregnancy, you know, 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.240 the whole thing, so that we can support the person. Yea, 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:29.200 And that definitely seems like something that is doable. While 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:32.240 was away, what did you get up to, Like what 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:33.200 happened in your life? 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:42.160 Uh? My brother was in prison. Oh fuck, he got out. 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:47.760 He got out after a few very very expensive calls 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:52.280 to lawyers. So that's all sorted. That's fucked. But whatever 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:52.800 moving on? 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:54.280 Is he going to get help? 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.880 Yeah? I actually asked about counseling, but he won't hear 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:00.640 until he does his hearing first. It's got to go 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:03.160 to a hearing. I got my head shots. 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:06.360 But actually, yeah, I loved those, thank you. There was 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.480 something there that were really like actor headshots, like they 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:10.680 were are they meant to be? 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:13.400 Oh okay. 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:16.080 When I looked at them, I was like, yeah, you can, 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.480 Like it looks like you're a character, you know. 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:22.239 Oh see, that's what I want my essence. Yeah, yeah, yourself. 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:24.200 But in your eyes you were like there was one 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:27.000 in there where I was like, she's a fucking detective. Yeah, 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:28.840 like I could see her on NCIS, you know what 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:29.120 I mean. 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:33.600 Thank you? So, And I've finished my third scene study 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:39.160 in Showcase, so that went really well. On Friday, I 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:43.600 felt like the nerves of that first performance have actually 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:47.960 like settled now where I didn't. I felt nervous, but 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:51.960 I felt like excited too because I was doing a 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:55.000 comedy drama. I think that's kind of like my realm, 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:58.440 Like is like working into that comedy drama where I 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:01.240 was playing this character. Collect I'm acting as an actor 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:04.400 in a trailer with another girl and we're both fighting 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:08.440 for the lead position. I'm like the more established actor, 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.000 and I'm finding that they're changing the script and giving 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.960 it to Brenda, So I'm fucking pissed off. And she's 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.600 like this young actor and like she's got this weird 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:21.160 chanting thing happening. Anyways, it was like this comedy drama 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:25.760 that was hilarious because I'm playing like a really bitchy character, 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:29.240 which I didn't realize that I am good at okay, 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:32.320 but I think obviously because it's the opposite of what 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:36.440 I am in a way that I feel like I 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.880 am acting but I can still drop into it, if 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.600 that makes sense. So that's kind of like one of 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:44.640 the characters that I've established within myself is that I 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:48.320 feel like I can do really well. I think because 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:52.000 it releases me because I'm not really an asshole throughout 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.960 my day unless I have to be. It kind of 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.040 releases me and gives me that opportunity to be like 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.640 that and be like, well, it's the character, you know, 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.439 like obviously justifying it as a character. But yeah, So 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:08.080 I finished my third scene study showcase, but I did 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:12.680 have this really sad moment and it's like so nice 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:16.879 to hear your experiences, like with meeting your you know 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:20.199 partner's family and you know, feeling so connected and feeling 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.720 like a community, and I feel like that's kind of 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.320 thing that I'm lacking at the moment. And not to 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.960 turn this into a downy, but I had this really 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:31.920 beautiful moment where I was I smashed the whole day 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:35.280 right that Friday. I I'm stage manager as well, so 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:39.040 I like went to I did my master class in 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:41.760 the morning, I got all my props and stuff ready. 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:44.480 I'd gone to office works and printed off all these 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:48.360 set photos, so making sure everyone was sordid and organized, 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:51.520 plus also then making sure that I'm warming up and 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:59.040 rehearsing beforehand. Yeah, and you know, I smashed the showcase, 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.440 had really good feed back, and I had this really 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:04.639 sad moment when everyone after it was hugging their friends 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.960 and family and I was the only one that didn't 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:11.800 have anyone there, and so I was just talking to 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:16.000 everyone's family and friends and it was like I hit 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:17.760 me then, and then I was like, I'll just play 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:19.159 it off like I've got shit to do, So I 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.919 was like, just keep yourself busy. And then I you know, 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:27.040 got home and then went to the spa afterwards with 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.640 my friends and We had like a really chill like 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:32.200 we did the sauna and the steam room, et cetera, 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.000 had a cup of tea at home, played piano and 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:37.240 sung and I was really really lovely and I loved 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.720 that so much with you know, people from class. And 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:43.520 then I went to bed and I was having this 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:47.240 moment like I'm really proud of myself, like for the 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:49.919 first time, I felt like, oh my god, I smashed today, 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.680 and I felt proud, like I felt like, oh my god, 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.640 I can do this. And then I just started crying 0:18:57.240 --> 0:18:59.719 and I was like, why am I crying? And I 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:04.800 was so sad but happy. It was such a weird feeling, 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:07.320 and I think that was like grief. You know, like 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:09.760 a few episodes ago, we spoke about grief and how 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:11.760 it can just sort of just hit you out of nowhere. 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:14.440 And I think that in that moment was like this 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:17.400 moment of like, you know, the fact that I'm having 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:19.560 those feelings means that I'm still connected to my mum 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:21.760 and my family and my community, but I'm craving that 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:24.840 community because I just have to be proud of myself 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:27.320 in these moments. But there's some moments where I'm just 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:29.639 like I just want to hear it from someone else, 0:19:30.560 --> 0:19:33.199 Like I just want to hear it, you know, And 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:36.720 I know that I use the fact that all I 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:38.400 ever want in my life is to hear my mom 0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:40.359 say like she's proud of me. But I use that 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.960 as source work, like I use that in moments where 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:44.720 I need to get to where I need to go, 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:48.080 you know, emotionally, and that in that moment, I was like, fuck, 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.480 I really felt that. But it's fucked as an actor 0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:53.880 because you like you're realizing and you're feeling these emotions 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:55.640 and then you're like, oh, got to bottle that up, 0:19:56.560 --> 0:19:59.000 cut that that, and you like put it away because 0:19:59.000 --> 0:20:01.200 you're like, oh yea, yeah, I want God need that. 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:05.119 Like it's so fucked. It's so fun. But at the 0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:09.320 same time, I realized that I'm really homesick at the moment. 0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:14.840 I'm really craving community and family. But it's a sacrifice 0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:19.080 that I am just continuing to make. That's kind of 0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:23.800 all that's happened. Nothing's happened with my love life, still 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:24.640 obsessed my ex. 0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:27.240 Huh did you invite anyone? 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:32.680 Yeah? I invited a few people and the shouldn't make it. Yeah, 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:36.280 Like none of them showed up. So, yeah, my friends 0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:38.199 have been really fucking shitty, if I'm being honest, Like 0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:40.840 that's what's really happened, Like more recently, my friends have 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:44.280 been really fucking shitty. 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:47.880