Speaker 1: Ad A Lady, ad a lady, A lady ad Lady.
Speaker 1: I'm filtered. Hey, welcome to another podcast.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, Hailey Pierson over there, we are at Lady Unfiltered.
Speaker 1: We're besties. We're business partners where the creators of adel
Speaker 1: Lady hollow I say, hey, lossy media, and we do
Speaker 1: everything together except bad. All right, what are we talking about?
Speaker 2: Oh, Hailey Pierson? All right, today we're talking about your
Speaker 2: morbid brain. Because your brain. Yeah, like I thought I.
Speaker 1: Was morbid, I'm way more morbid than you are. You
Speaker 1: feed my morbility though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a feeder.
Speaker 1: You make everything worse.
Speaker 2: And we are talking birthing stories, yes, because you are
Speaker 2: in the thick of all your friends having babies, but
Speaker 2: you're also crowning.
Speaker 1: So hello, It's why I've got a.
Speaker 2: Pillow here so it doesn't get awkward that you see
Speaker 2: your hands come out.
Speaker 1: I would deliver that baby for you in a heartbood.
Speaker 1: I would, I would, I would. I would be grossed out.
Speaker 1: I love every moment anyway. Well, let's start with our
Speaker 1: memo the week though, like we do with every podcast.
Speaker 2: Ah, so this morning I woke up. It's a little
Speaker 2: bit about a bit, a bit, a bit of better
Speaker 2: down the hallway, which I love. You know, one day
Speaker 2: Sophia won't be running into our room.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: And I jump on the bed, she jump on the bed,
Speaker 2: and we always like, how is your sleep? Are you
Speaker 2: feeling good? Are you excited about your day? We ask
Speaker 2: her all these questions, to which she replied, I'm not
Speaker 2: doing cuddles today. Are there any more questions?
Speaker 1: What? Why she's so serious? I don't know such. She's
Speaker 1: so intimidating.
Speaker 2: She literally scares me'm I just want to love you,
Speaker 2: but she's a tiny little dictator.
Speaker 1: She is a dictator. I just want to love you.
Speaker 2: You're my child, and we're just so excited to see
Speaker 2: you because we haven't seen you all night, and I
Speaker 2: just want to give you cuddles and love. No more cuddles,
Speaker 2: other questions, And.
Speaker 1: Then you set me a photo of her back to you,
Speaker 1: just looking out the windows, staring into space.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as I do her hair, as I put my caristas,
Speaker 2: you know, expensive oil through her hair, and I brush
Speaker 2: her hair. She can never say she had a terrible childhood.
Speaker 1: No, you need to film all this stuff so she knows. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because she will grow up telling people that she was,
Speaker 1: she will neglect it. My mem of the week is okay,
Speaker 1: so the headline. The headline is Hailey loses the thumb.
Speaker 1: So okay. This is completely my fault. And it's a
Speaker 1: warning to you that you should not leave something if
Speaker 1: it's got something to do with your health. Don't just
Speaker 1: leave it okay, like you and I do all the time.
Speaker 1: Anybody else I would tell them go and get that
Speaker 1: shit fixed. But because it was me, I just kept
Speaker 1: it going. I had a green thumb for about eleven
Speaker 1: months and I kept covering it up, and no one
Speaker 1: really was too phase by it, and I wasn't phased
Speaker 1: by it. I was like, I will grow out or
Speaker 1: grow out. And then about a week ago it started
Speaker 1: having its own heartbeat and like throbbing, like really throbbing
Speaker 1: and painful. And I said to my husband my thumb,
Speaker 1: I think my thumb's infected, like it's so sore. And
Speaker 1: he looked at it and he's like, you need to
Speaker 1: go to the doctor. You might have staff and you
Speaker 1: might have to have your thumb cut off.
Speaker 2: It actually looks like a pistachio nut.
Speaker 1: It was worse than a mustachio. It was what is
Speaker 1: the thing that everyone's eating at the moment, the chocolate
Speaker 1: chocolate thumb. It was so ruined for you. So it
Speaker 1: was so green that I went to get it all
Speaker 1: shaved off. So they took all the thumb stuff off,
Speaker 1: and it turns out it's just like it's a normal
Speaker 1: thing everyone gets, well not everyone, but gross people like
Speaker 1: me get it. It's like a fungal thing.
Speaker 2: Oh that you don't have a nail on there at
Speaker 2: the post.
Speaker 1: It's taken off. It's been taken off. It's disgusting. But
Speaker 1: then I was thinking, like this is where my brain goes.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, so if I have to get
Speaker 1: my thumb amputated, I'll only have four fingers, and that's
Speaker 1: my painting hand, which means I won't be able to
Speaker 1: paint or I'll be on like sixty minutes in a
Speaker 1: few years time. Being that with four fingers, panote speaker
Speaker 1: around the world talking about how I don't have a thumb.
Speaker 2: This is your morbid brain. You went straight to your
Speaker 2: thumb is about to be cut off? Yes, not just
Speaker 2: oh my thumb is infected. I might get some antiseptic cream.
Speaker 1: Okay, So this leads us into what we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about. So when people meet us, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you get this, but I get a lot that
Speaker 1: you're very happy. You're a very happy person, generally quite happy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say I'm an excitable person. I get excited
Speaker 1: very easily. But the dopamine leaves my body very fast
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: We're up and we're down just as quick as we're up.
Speaker 1: Yep, it's a wild ride. So my morbid brain, I'm
Speaker 1: probably the happiest morbid person walking around on Earth, I
Speaker 1: would say my brain until twenty three, I was carefree.
Speaker 1: I was like, and I know you were too, before
Speaker 1: you experienced anything like trauma in your life. We were
Speaker 1: so carefree. I did some dumb things. I lived on
Speaker 1: the edge dangerously. I do things just because it would
Speaker 1: make other people laugh.
Speaker 2: I would laugh from morning, like from the minute I
Speaker 2: woke up to the minute I went to sleep. Yeah,
Speaker 2: everything was a joke.
Speaker 1: And doing stupid things that were actually potentially life threatening
Speaker 1: and dangerous that I wouldn't do now but kind of
Speaker 1: risky and yeah, and it was fun. Like the adrenaline
Speaker 1: was pumping. So when I it all started, I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell you now just so this is if this
Speaker 1: is you going through this? Hopefully it can help. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you how this small but brain started and probably
Speaker 1: my lowest point, and then how I've gone about trying
Speaker 1: to fix it because I am in a better place
Speaker 1: with it at the moment, even though you probably don't
Speaker 1: think I am as crazy as I was. So it
Speaker 1: started when I was twenty three. I just moved to
Speaker 1: Queensland for work for radio with my husband, and I
Speaker 1: got a phone call from Mum and Dad just saying
Speaker 1: that my uncle had been killed in a car accident.
Speaker 1: And it was that moment I remember where I was,
Speaker 1: that the chemistry in my brain flicked and I've never
Speaker 1: been the same since. And I was put on this
Speaker 1: like trajectory going I'm gonna worry about every single person
Speaker 1: that I love, and someone is going to die. So
Speaker 1: I was obviously I was thinking about my cousins who
Speaker 1: had lost their dad and thinking and feeling how they
Speaker 1: would have felt when this all happened. And so from
Speaker 1: then on I started really worrying all the time. If
Speaker 1: Mom didn't answer the phone or if Dad did not
Speaker 1: the phone, they were dead. Even now, I go on
Speaker 1: life through sixty and I'll zoom in and if sometimes
Speaker 1: and this has happened before, I'll go, why is mum
Speaker 1: at s Andrew's hospital? Oh, my god, she's dead. My
Speaker 1: brain goes to the worst and because because I have
Speaker 1: this creative brain, I see things in my head. So
Speaker 1: and I thought this. I've always thought this is normal,
Speaker 1: that everybody else has this, but apparently it's not. I see,
Speaker 1: when you tell me a story, I'll visually see it,
Speaker 1: and I'm there in that story with you. So I
Speaker 1: feel how I would if it was actually happening. Does
Speaker 1: that make sense?
Speaker 2: So you always go to the worst case scenario.
Speaker 1: But I'm seeing it and I feel it, and I
Speaker 1: get the actual physical emotion coming out in me, like
Speaker 1: the sweaty palms.
Speaker 2: And things like that, the shooting yourself, all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: So it started when I was twenty three, worrying about
Speaker 1: my mum and dad, and then it got really bad
Speaker 1: when I've had kids and with Jimmy, and I remember
Speaker 1: one moment where I was home with the two boys
Speaker 1: and Jimmy was surfing, and every time he would surf,
Speaker 1: I would see in my head him getting taken by
Speaker 1: a shark or him being killed in a car accident
Speaker 1: on the way down to Victor and my biggest fear.
Speaker 1: And I've since found out that this is a common
Speaker 1: fear is to have. And I don't know why two
Speaker 1: police officers knocking at my door thinking telling me that
Speaker 1: someone that I love has died. Right, I've always had
Speaker 1: this weird vision. So I'm at home, I've got like
Speaker 1: a one and a four year old Jimmy's surfing and
Speaker 1: I do hear knock at the door. And we've got
Speaker 1: one of those doors back then in our old house
Speaker 1: where you see like the windows between the wood frames
Speaker 1: so you can see people coming in and coming out.
Speaker 1: I can see out, and I saw two people coming
Speaker 1: in uniform, and I'm not kidding. I went into the
Speaker 1: full shock of this is it, It's about to happen.
Speaker 1: I felt my leaves gave way, I fell onto the
Speaker 1: like the corridor I was. I was walking to the
Speaker 1: door and I was like, oh my god, they're about
Speaker 1: to tell me, Oh my god, this is happening. They're
Speaker 1: going to tell me that jim is dead. Like I
Speaker 1: was feeling everything. And then I opened the door. It's
Speaker 1: not funny, but there were two Mormons standing at my door.
Speaker 1: This sounds like a movie. There were two Mormons selling
Speaker 1: the Bible at my door, and they weren't place. I've
Speaker 1: never been happy to see Mormons in my life.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, what's the famous Book of Woman there?
Speaker 1: That's what I pictured. Little Mormon outfits.
Speaker 2: Have I never heard these?
Speaker 1: I've told this before. I have never heard.
Speaker 2: This because I know your brain and it's happened to me.
Speaker 2: When you lose someone so close to you, everyone in
Speaker 2: your life becomes their next, their next, you know. I
Speaker 2: remember Mum left her phone in the laundry. So after
Speaker 2: my ex partner passed away, Mom left her phone in
Speaker 2: the laundry, she got to her phone, there was like
Speaker 2: thirty six miss calls and by the time she picked up,
Speaker 2: I was screaming, wailing.
Speaker 1: You're dad, You're dad.
Speaker 2: She's like, no, I just left my phone in the laundry.
Speaker 1: Don't leave your phone in the laundry, Mom, fucking idiot.
Speaker 2: She couldn't comprehend because even my mom, my mom has
Speaker 2: managed to go through pretty unscathed, like in the sense
Speaker 2: of she's lost her parents but they were like in
Speaker 2: their nineties.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but she has to be strong for you. She's
Speaker 1: the mom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I was just like, why would you
Speaker 2: leave your phone like and you and I like just yeap, oh,
Speaker 2: it's we go.
Speaker 1: To the worst. And it started I reckon when like
Speaker 1: when I first had Austin and I was walking through
Speaker 1: a house and we had tiles, and this is again
Speaker 1: very more, but I would hear the sound of his
Speaker 1: head cracking on the tiles, like I'm dropping the baby.
Speaker 1: I know it's fucked. It's so fucked. I hate my
Speaker 1: brain so much. I have tried everything to stop these
Speaker 1: awful thoughts, and I think age has helped me a
Speaker 1: little bit, Like I'm I still go to those places,
Speaker 1: like I still think of the worst, and especially at
Speaker 1: an age now where I've got kids at eleven fourteen
Speaker 1: and they're off like riding to their friend's house, say,
Speaker 1: oh my god, riding and like driveways, I see all
Speaker 1: the dangers. My dad's an alarmist. I think this is
Speaker 1: where I get it from. He's an alarmist, so he
Speaker 1: sees the danger in everything, and he's put it onto me.
Speaker 1: And now this is what I want to tell you.
Speaker 1: I put it onto Olphie. So Alphie is eleven years old.
Speaker 1: I didn't tell you this last week. Well, you know
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, an email from the school saying,
Speaker 1: Alfie's in the sick bay. He's just eaten blue tag.
Speaker 1: He thinks he's gonna die.
Speaker 2: And then I cracked the joke that he was gonna
Speaker 2: die to him, and that went down like a lead below.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is what I mean. You feed. You're not
Speaker 1: good in these situations. So what okay, So when someone's morbid,
Speaker 1: you need a friend that is going to say to
Speaker 1: you everything's going to be okay.
Speaker 2: That's not me.
Speaker 1: You are the friend that goes like, so you'll actually
Speaker 1: put the fear of God into me and go, oh
Speaker 1: my god, is he gonna die?
Speaker 2: Is he gonna die? Well no, because then you went
Speaker 2: and picked up Alfie from the sick bait because he
Speaker 2: thought he was going to die. And then he rocked
Speaker 2: up and I was like, oh, Alpha, you're here for
Speaker 2: like your last day on the planet to spend the
Speaker 2: adel lady.
Speaker 1: Obviously to a morbid kid. Will I thought it was.
Speaker 2: Funny, and then I offered him chocolate.
Speaker 1: Nah, and you looked at.
Speaker 2: Me and you were just like, mate, stop, it's not funny. No.
Speaker 1: He so I've accidentally somehow have passed this down to him.
Speaker 1: So it happened again. Last week. I don't know why
Speaker 1: he keeps eating shit at school, but I get a
Speaker 1: call from the sick bait Hi. No, first of all,
Speaker 1: I got messages from him on his little iPad going, Mom,
Speaker 1: I'm dying. I've just eaten with Whizz Fizz in science
Speaker 1: and I think I'm choking me and my best made
Speaker 1: of choking. Help. I can't breathe, and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the hell's going on? Then I talked to the lady
Speaker 1: of the sick bay and she's like, he's at the
Speaker 1: sick Bacon and he's saying that he feels really sick
Speaker 1: and that he's got a headache and that he thinks
Speaker 1: he's going to die. And I'm like, well, was this lady?
Speaker 1: Are quiet talking? Yeah? Sounded like a pile hakee quiet talkers?
Speaker 1: Can you please speak up? I can't hear you say
Speaker 1: it loud? Can you yell at me from the sick bay?
Speaker 1: What is wrong with my child?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 1: Anything worse is this? She was eating a banana as well.
Speaker 2: I'm stuck in it.
Speaker 1: So anyway, he's legit feels like he's going to die.
Speaker 1: And then he said to me that night, Mum, I
Speaker 1: just I feel like this year. I'm thinking about death
Speaker 1: a lot, and I'm like, oh my god, stop, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. I don't want to is onto you. But
Speaker 1: because I am scared of everything, I probably do put
Speaker 1: a little bit of fear into them that I don't
Speaker 1: hold back. If you are, I'll say to him, if
Speaker 1: you're gonna cross the street and a car comes, you'll
Speaker 1: get flattened and you'll die.
Speaker 2: But you're also slightly cooked in a sense of you
Speaker 2: don't let your kids eat at home by themselves, nah,
Speaker 2: because you think they're gonna die in choke.
Speaker 1: I did it last night we were out Austin, my
Speaker 1: fourteen year old, was there by himself. I made him
Speaker 1: eat dinner before we left because I didn't want him
Speaker 1: to eat. I hate my prey that ish.
Speaker 2: Like I remember, I've heard the conversations Austin's at home
Speaker 2: and you're like, don't you dare eat? If I found
Speaker 2: out you've eaten something, he could die of hunger, Like.
Speaker 1: Just let the kid eat. No, I would rather I
Speaker 1: would die of hunger. That's a long death. That's okay,
Speaker 1: dying of choking by yourself, Like that's a real thing.
Speaker 1: But he could.
Speaker 2: Literally do you know what I said? This to my
Speaker 2: mum once when we were oversea. My mum gets so
Speaker 2: stressed when we go away. Anything could happen. The war
Speaker 2: could break out, the plane could go down. Mum's stressed
Speaker 2: about that. But when we were away there was an
Speaker 2: accident where I stand all the time in the city
Speaker 2: and a car went into pedestrians. That's right, And I
Speaker 2: was like, Mom, I'm more likely to have died there
Speaker 2: than I am to die.
Speaker 1: You're seen you drive, Yes, she has. She goes like this,
Speaker 1: she shuts her eyes. That's like you driving. Shut So
Speaker 1: all right, if you've got it more of the brain.
Speaker 1: I've got a couple of things that I've done that
Speaker 1: I don't know might help you.
Speaker 2: Don't be friends with me.
Speaker 1: Don't be friends. Can I just say, as a friend,
Speaker 1: if I say I'm worried my mom is sick, don't say,
Speaker 1: oh my god, me too. I know she's probably gonna die.
Speaker 1: Say she's going to be fine. I don't care if
Speaker 1: you're lying. I don't care if you're lying. Just tell
Speaker 1: me everything's going to be fine.
Speaker 2: Thing to me, I need to be better. Okay, you
Speaker 2: need to be I'm gonna light to you now.
Speaker 1: Just I don't care. I'm fine with you lying, but
Speaker 1: just keep me positive. Okay, that's what I tell you.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I don't tell you things because I know you're
Speaker 1: gonna make me feel worse.
Speaker 2: Your thumb is fine. You are not going to die
Speaker 2: of sepsis.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you. Okay. So this is what I've tried, hypnotherapy.
Speaker 1: I went and saw a hypnotist, like a proper hypnotist
Speaker 1: that do like they deal with people who are totally
Speaker 1: afraid of needles and things like that. So I went there,
Speaker 1: I had a session. I had two sessions, and they
Speaker 1: talk me through how to combat having a morbid brain.
Speaker 1: I don't know for helped, but they gave me tools
Speaker 1: I guess to think about when you are going to
Speaker 1: that bad thought, to quickly pivot your brain to think
Speaker 1: of something else. So when you know you're about to
Speaker 1: think of that, think of the other thing. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? That stops you from thinking about it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that helped, but I think hypnotherapy
Speaker 1: can be quite powerful. Dad's stopped smoking through hypnotherapy, so
Speaker 1: you could try that. The other thing I've done is
Speaker 1: like I'm I'm hardly medicated. You are high as a
Speaker 1: cut I am on anti anxiety tablets. I won't say
Speaker 1: the brand name or anything.
Speaker 2: But what like Louis Vuitton or something Louis Bitton.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's made me feel lighter, like I don't go
Speaker 1: to that dark place immediately. I just go to the surface,
Speaker 1: but I still go there. And I also think, I
Speaker 1: think what's happened is I'm always waiting if something everything's
Speaker 1: good in my life, I'm waiting for the bad thing
Speaker 1: it's going to happen. But then someone said to me,
Speaker 1: the bad thing will happen one day, like your parents
Speaker 1: will die one day. This will happen one day, So
Speaker 1: why waste your life worrying?
Speaker 2: Did I say that?
Speaker 1: No, you never give insightful things like that.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, did I say that?
Speaker 1: So? Did I say that as your best friend? I
Speaker 1: have another friend that something?
Speaker 2: So anyway, I sort of did sound like something i'd say,
Speaker 2: like one day everyone in your life will die. That
Speaker 2: is something I.
Speaker 1: Would say and put a real datner on those things
Speaker 1: ruin your day. All right, So there's morbid brain tackled with.
Speaker 1: I hope if you do have a morbid brain, I've
Speaker 1: made you feel a little bit better about your own.
Speaker 1: It's normal if you love things. The bigger the love,
Speaker 1: the bigger the loss. Anyway. Yeah, let's move on to
Speaker 1: birthing stories.
Speaker 2: Oh man, I mean you're looking at me. You can
Speaker 2: see right now your best friend Laren has really Laren
Speaker 2: and really just I'm wearing my pregnancy tights. I've got
Speaker 2: wet hair. You're lucky. I put on a fucking bra
Speaker 2: for you today.
Speaker 1: Like I, I can't tell anyway, I have just given
Speaker 1: up on life. Yeah, you're at that stage.
Speaker 2: So I'm just over six months pregnant, and I am
Speaker 2: I can't be fucked like, to.
Speaker 1: Be honest, you gave up at four weeks pregnant. The
Speaker 1: second you've found out you're like Lily. When I finished banging,
Speaker 1: I was, I can't carry boxes anymore. Sorry, guys, I'm
Speaker 1: four weeks pregnant.
Speaker 2: We were in the office one day and everyone was
Speaker 2: carrying like piece of babe.
Speaker 1: I can't do that.
Speaker 2: I can't. I'm with child.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? You actually have every right too
Speaker 1: because you're growing another human being inside you. You are
Speaker 1: growing a brain and eyeballs and eyelashes and livers and
Speaker 1: all of that.
Speaker 2: But you know, well, you've had two kids both pregnancies
Speaker 2: very different, right, Yeah. First pregnancy for me, she was
Speaker 2: a breeze. I was just I got through. I wasn't
Speaker 2: really sick, just a little bit nauseous. At the beginning,
Speaker 2: everything was fine. This one has taken every single thing
Speaker 2: out of me. I don't want to socialize. I don't
Speaker 2: want to go out. I don't want to see people.
Speaker 2: I don't want to get dressed. I like to be
Speaker 2: in the shower. I like to be in the shower.
Speaker 2: I'm having like four showers a day. Yeah, because and
Speaker 2: I'm washing my hair four times a day. Hence why
Speaker 2: it's wet, and because when the water hits me and
Speaker 2: it's hot, I feel calm. Yep.
Speaker 1: And it's your own space. Do you lock the doors
Speaker 1: so no one else can come in?
Speaker 2: I don't lock the door, like I don't want to
Speaker 2: be too harsh, but if anyone's lot might get.
Speaker 1: A door, lock the door. They have a lock on
Speaker 1: my door. And do you know a big tip as well,
Speaker 1: when you can hear your screaming child out the outside
Speaker 1: the toilet, you stand with a shower cap under the
Speaker 1: water and you can't hear anything other than rain on
Speaker 1: a tin roof. It's amazing.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I'll do that. But I just I'm
Speaker 2: at that point of I'm ready. I'm ready to have it,
Speaker 2: but also I'm.
Speaker 1: Not ready for you to have it.
Speaker 2: No, I know we've got so many things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not yet.
Speaker 2: But so first pregnancy, I didn't do any reading. I
Speaker 2: did absolutely nothing. I walked in to Ashford Hospital with
Speaker 2: a blow dry, tan, nails done, and I said.
Speaker 1: Hello, everyone over here to have a baby.
Speaker 2: The midwife looked at me like, are you okay? I
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I'm just here to have a baby
Speaker 2: and stuff.
Speaker 1: I can tell you were but your your partner, Burgo
Speaker 1: did all the reading for you.
Speaker 2: And speaking of morbid brains. Him and my mom the
Speaker 2: night before were messaging because I was having a cyrien
Speaker 2: so so worried, so nervous, and before I went in,
Speaker 2: I didn't know. He looked at the obstitution and said,
Speaker 2: you can't let her die. Please don't let her die.
Speaker 2: As he cried. But I was listening to let's get down,
Speaker 2: let's get down a beer.
Speaker 1: So were you not nervous about anything? Why weren't you nervous?
Speaker 2: I didn't look into anything. I didn't know anything. At
Speaker 2: one point they said you're afraid of needles. I was
Speaker 2: like yeah, and I looked over and saw the epi
Speaker 2: epidural need.
Speaker 1: Which is like huge horse trunk was like a.
Speaker 2: Sword, and I was like, oh god, what is that?
Speaker 2: What are you about to do to me? And I
Speaker 2: just got so like I remember looking at the uneathist
Speaker 2: and I did the epidural and then they said can
Speaker 2: you move your legs? And I couldn't move my legs.
Speaker 2: This is what's supposed to happen.
Speaker 1: That's a good thing.
Speaker 2: But from that moment on now I'm waking up at
Speaker 2: night having full blown nightmares about not being able to
Speaker 2: move my legs.
Speaker 1: But you're having a CE session, so you don't want
Speaker 1: to be able to move your legs otherwise you'll feel things,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: But it's like that feeling like when someone says, hey,
Speaker 2: move your leg and you go, Okay, I'm going to
Speaker 2: move my leg and then I move my legs.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I'm starting to have full blown heart palpitation about what
Speaker 2: part of it having the baby, Like I just want
Speaker 2: to get to the point where I'm holding it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's lovely, but so that's what you need
Speaker 1: to manifest in your head. You need to just think
Speaker 1: about the moment of your holding her for the first
Speaker 1: time and looking at her face, because it's going to
Speaker 1: happen no matter what. Just think of that moment because
Speaker 1: that is the moment while we all have babies, to
Speaker 1: see that little face for the first time.
Speaker 2: And they actually, I swear to God, they make you
Speaker 2: forget all the pain you've had.
Speaker 1: That's what we go back tonight. Can I share this quote?
Speaker 1: I think from memory Cal Wilson, who's no longer with us,
Speaker 1: she told me this when I was pregnant with my
Speaker 1: first son and I was really nervous. She gave me
Speaker 1: a quote that stuck with me forever, and it's if
Speaker 1: I knew it was you, I wouldn't have been scared
Speaker 1: so and it's so true. And you don't realize that
Speaker 1: until you meet that little baby that you fall in
Speaker 1: love with. If you knew it was that Sophia, you
Speaker 1: would do anything to get to her. You do anything,
Speaker 1: we open a million times, no pain, no drugs, no,
Speaker 1: just do it. Just do it because it's you. So
Speaker 1: keep thinking of that.
Speaker 2: Can I ask, So, you've had two babies, Yeah, tell
Speaker 2: me your birthing stories from one to two.
Speaker 1: Sharing birthing stories. I love this hit. Yeah, okay, Austin
Speaker 1: number one. I was terrified the whole pregnancy of it
Speaker 1: coming out of my fanny. I don't know why. I
Speaker 1: was like, how is that going to come out of there?
Speaker 1: Like the burning pain, pain that I had in my
Speaker 1: head visualizing it was just too much. I just knew,
Speaker 1: I think I knew that I was it was. He
Speaker 1: was never going to come out of there. So I
Speaker 1: even got one of those blow up things, you know,
Speaker 1: those things you put it's so gross, you go, so, Jimmy,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to the bedroom. I'm just going to
Speaker 1: put that thing inside of me, blow it up, and
Speaker 1: then push it out the balloon thing. Yeah, so it
Speaker 1: kind of stretched perinea mary a fanny thing.
Speaker 2: Can you massage your paranagum? No?
Speaker 1: Because I felt dirty doing that. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is so weird. I'm just going to go and play
Speaker 1: with my Okay. So yeah, so I did one of
Speaker 1: those things to push it to stretch it because I
Speaker 1: was so scared of the what's it called where they
Speaker 1: cut you from the anus to the fanny news's Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that just terrified me.
Speaker 2: I used to think it was so far, but it's
Speaker 2: actually only.
Speaker 1: A little it's only a little centimeter or too near
Speaker 1: the two things that you don't you don't want to
Speaker 1: do it. No, So anyway, I went in. I was
Speaker 1: always a small I had small babies, and I was
Speaker 1: one of those people that people always felt like I
Speaker 1: could say something to you, going, oh, you're small, is
Speaker 1: every thing okay? And then don't say that to a
Speaker 1: pregnant woman. Don't comment on the size of her tummy
Speaker 1: because it's gonna make her worry.
Speaker 2: And I'm carrying mine and my hips and my ass
Speaker 2: so like I've got these low, I'm low, and I've
Speaker 2: got ways. Oh they come up all the word cover
Speaker 2: my boobs, they're such a big don't yeah, don't comment
Speaker 2: on how people carry. So anyway, I went in early
Speaker 2: to have to be what's it called the stretch and
Speaker 2: sweep thing? Oh did you have a stretch and sweep?
Speaker 1: Oh? That is actually the most painful thing. When they
Speaker 1: put their fingers inside you and they stretch. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that burning feeling of it being stretched by fingers. To me,
Speaker 1: that was the worst. So I went into. I did that,
Speaker 1: and then I did the Oh my brain is it
Speaker 1: working today? What's the thing where they put you in
Speaker 1: and they induced you, so I was being induced. So
Speaker 1: then I started to have contractions because I had the
Speaker 1: worst braxton Hicks the whole pregnancy. It just felt like
Speaker 1: braxton Hicks to me. And this beautiful nurse was in
Speaker 1: there giving me milos, and I was okay, and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I didn't notice that there was
Speaker 1: any drama. I didn't notice the drama at all. I
Speaker 1: was actually in an okay space. But all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: it was like three am, and my obstetrition rocked up.
Speaker 1: And she had been out that night before, and she
Speaker 1: was looking very glamorous, and I'm like, why is she here?
Speaker 1: And they just looked at me and said, we need
Speaker 1: to take you to have a cesarean because your baby's
Speaker 1: heart a heart rate has dropped, so we're going to
Speaker 1: go upstairs and within forty five minutes you're gonna have
Speaker 1: a baby. Wait, did Jimmy know this, No, they just
Speaker 1: told us at the same time. And I didn't have
Speaker 1: time to worry or think about anything. I hadn't even
Speaker 1: looked into cesareans. I had no idea how they were
Speaker 1: even going to work. And so before I knew it.
Speaker 1: I was being wheeled out, going oh my god, but
Speaker 1: they kept me really calm. I didn't know until after that.
Speaker 1: It was a bit of touch and go for a
Speaker 1: while because the court they think the core was wrapped
Speaker 1: around his neck from stress. So anyway, I went up there,
Speaker 1: they cut me open. He came out and it was
Speaker 1: the most amazing thing. But C section number two was
Speaker 1: actually worse because when you walk in, it's such a
Speaker 1: weird feeling walking in to the hospital, walking into the
Speaker 1: room and going Okay, I'm gonna lie down and in
Speaker 1: three minutes, I don't have a baby. It's such a
Speaker 1: weird thing.
Speaker 2: Mine took fifty nine minutes.
Speaker 1: Did it? Why don't it take so long to cut
Speaker 1: you open?
Speaker 2: The epidural took a little bit.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the epple du you know.
Speaker 2: Can you just bend over You've got this giant stomach, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, cool, I'll bend over, like keep going, no,
Speaker 2: I'll keep bending over. No, it's fine. This is reirdly.
Speaker 1: And then they drag you from one bed to the
Speaker 1: other bed and then it's all hot. Your body goes.
Speaker 2: All hot and I'm trying not to ruin my blow dry.
Speaker 1: I was like Oh, I didn't give a fuck about
Speaker 1: that shit.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to look nice because I kind of knew
Speaker 2: that my child would be judgmental, so I wanted her
Speaker 2: to make she would.
Speaker 1: Totally judge you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you could have done something with your hair.
Speaker 1: Maybe a liqu of makeup would have.
Speaker 2: Been nice, maybe a bit of ten. But then it's okay,
Speaker 2: we'll work on that.
Speaker 1: Our fee was different though. It wasn't the birth that
Speaker 1: I probably would have pictured. It wasn't like a beautiful, like, ah,
Speaker 1: this is so amazing birth, miracle birth kind of thing.
Speaker 2: What was harder the first one or the second one?
Speaker 2: Because the first one you went through shit because you started.
Speaker 1: Vain and I didn't know anything. I do you know what?
Speaker 1: I think we've just worked it out. I didn't know
Speaker 1: anything about sea sections and it was fine. You didn't
Speaker 1: know anything about birthing and you were fine. So maybe
Speaker 1: don't read up about stuff. So this is the thing.
Speaker 2: I'm just you know what you're getting yourself into. You
Speaker 2: remember that pain, you remember not being able to move.
Speaker 2: I remember, like you know, burgo having to like put
Speaker 2: my undies on and put the maternity pattern.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, can we just talk about the best
Speaker 1: moment ever is after you have a sea section, you're
Speaker 1: covered in that red stuff all the like the antiseptic stuff.
Speaker 1: Having a shower and getting your partner to wash you
Speaker 1: in the shower is actually the most romantic thing he's
Speaker 1: ever done for me in my life. It was the
Speaker 1: best feeling in the world because you're so dirty, sitting
Speaker 1: in your blood for a couple of days.
Speaker 2: No, it's just it's a lot. And you know what
Speaker 2: the other thing is as well. You know, we've often
Speaker 2: spoken about like, don't comment on women's weight. Also, don't
Speaker 2: comment on how people give birth. No, however you want.
Speaker 1: To do it, be a hero. Don't have any drugs.
Speaker 1: That's fine, you do you.
Speaker 2: I don't care if you want to do pig cesarean,
Speaker 2: choose vaginal whatever in the end, as long as the
Speaker 2: baby is safe and that it matters. But I remember
Speaker 2: so you would have. You know, a few years before
Speaker 2: I gave birth to Sophia, I had some bummy shoes
Speaker 2: damage my pelvic floor. So they said, we strongly advise
Speaker 2: that you have a cesarean, and I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to argue that because I kind of wanted one anyway.
Speaker 2: You're telling me to have one.
Speaker 1: Great.
Speaker 2: But I remember having a conversation with someone I don't
Speaker 2: even know and she was like, oh, so when are
Speaker 2: you having the baby. What's happening. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm booked in for a sea section on blah blah
Speaker 2: blah dah.
Speaker 1: She goes, you've.
Speaker 2: Chosen to have a sea section. Yes, yeah, I have.
Speaker 2: Oh so you're not going to try.
Speaker 1: Try I was just going to get my health baby out.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, I'm getting cut seven stuff.
Speaker 1: Does it matter how you get it out? No? And
Speaker 1: she was young. I was like, don't have a plan.
Speaker 1: When people have a plan, and it's really hard. I
Speaker 1: think for people who are like maybe eas and really
Speaker 1: organized people, not us. Not us. That's probably why it
Speaker 1: was okay for us, because we are the shambles and
Speaker 1: it was all chaotic.
Speaker 2: The only plan I had was my playlist of music.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but even then, I mean, great, bring that in.
Speaker 1: But even then things just go out the window and
Speaker 1: you just have to roll with it. And hearing them
Speaker 1: cry for the first time and seeing their little face
Speaker 1: and going I made you and you're the person that
Speaker 1: I have been talking to for the last nine months
Speaker 1: is so amazing. And I can't believe you're about to
Speaker 1: have this again, that feeling.
Speaker 2: I actually want to play the audio. We've got some
Speaker 2: audio from my birth.
Speaker 1: Is that the one where you're yelling and screaming?
Speaker 2: No, I'm very calm. We can actually play it to you.
Speaker 1: It's the beginning a little bit now.
Speaker 2: The anethetist assistant took my phone. I didn't know this
Speaker 2: until eleven o'clock at night. Everyone was asleep, and I
Speaker 2: looked at my phone and there was two hundred photos
Speaker 2: and videos of my birth.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love this. Listen to this, crazy
Speaker 1: my baby, Are you okay? Hello?
Speaker 2: That was the moment that Sophia was born, and I
Speaker 2: always aliken it to that moment in the Lion King
Speaker 2: where it's just like nudd she mama. She came out
Speaker 2: into this world, looked around, sussed everything.
Speaker 1: Judged, you judged me.
Speaker 2: Oh, here we are you guys. That moment for me,
Speaker 2: I'm actually that's that's the thing that I can't wait for.
Speaker 2: That that that moment of seeing that new person that
Speaker 2: you already love. I already love this baby. You've never
Speaker 2: even met a baby, but you love them already. But
Speaker 2: then you get to see.
Speaker 1: Them do you know a really beautiful thing about Sophia
Speaker 1: is before you had Sophia, and we're talking years before,
Speaker 1: you would always talk about your Sofia. Yeah, that one
Speaker 1: day you're gonna have a little girl was fear.
Speaker 2: I was fifteen. I remember I said, one day I'm
Speaker 2: going to have a little girl called Sophia. And virgin
Speaker 2: I always spoke about it. We had a few names,
Speaker 2: but we were always like, if she looks Italian and
Speaker 2: has her dark features and dark hair, she'll be our Sofia.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I remember when she came out, she had a
Speaker 2: full head of hair, like no wonder I had.
Speaker 1: It was like Kim Jong un, like a full sweet.
Speaker 2: I went, okay. We both actually looked at each other
Speaker 2: at the same time. You know how some people debate,
Speaker 2: like Burgo's got friends, they took a week to name
Speaker 2: their baby.
Speaker 1: Hate that. Just tell me the baby's name raight away.
Speaker 1: He's a baby.
Speaker 2: She's been born, no name yet, no name the next day,
Speaker 2: no name the next day.
Speaker 1: You had nine months to come up with a name.
Speaker 2: But we literally looked at each other and we both
Speaker 2: said at the same time, Sophia.
Speaker 1: We just knew you're little Sofia. Yeah, I am. Well,
Speaker 1: I am so excited that this is about to all
Speaker 1: happen again for you. I'm just like, I can't wait
Speaker 1: for that phone call and for you to experience it again.
Speaker 2: And I still remember that time you ran into the
Speaker 2: hospital the next.
Speaker 1: Day and you got to hold her. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: her little face. Yeah, it's a mini you. I just
Speaker 1: saw you and ergo in this beautiful little bubba and
Speaker 1: I love her so much.
Speaker 2: I know you do, and that's the best thing, you know, Aunties.
Speaker 2: Sophia calls you Auntie Hayley. Yeah, but just because you're
Speaker 2: not related doesn't mean you're not her auntie.
Speaker 1: Like she often says to me, Auntie Hayley, are you
Speaker 1: my family? And I will go I'm not technically your family,
Speaker 1: but i'm your auntie and she's like, yeah, you're my family.
Speaker 2: You're my family. You are family. You are our family.
Speaker 2: And you love her and I love your kids like
Speaker 2: we're all family.
Speaker 1: Were so intertwined. I love this so much. I've got
Speaker 1: a really emotional friend sitting next to me right now.
Speaker 1: You need to go and have a lightdown. I do actually, Okay,
Speaker 1: Oh birthday stories, Hey, if you have one you want
Speaker 1: to share with us in box us anytime, and we're
Speaker 1: always on social media. We're like addicted to it, so.
Speaker 2: You'll always be there, especially when I'm a mat leave mansta.
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, we love you girls and boys. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening.
Speaker 2: I have a great week, guys. Love your