WEBVTT - This one time, at band camp...........

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<v Speaker 1>Apod Shape Production.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mom?

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<v Speaker 1>A podcast?

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<v Speaker 2>Is the question we constantly asked three times a week,

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<v Speaker 2>am I a bad Mom?

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<v Speaker 1>It's funny because when you tell.

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<v Speaker 2>People that we have this podcast and it's called am

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<v Speaker 2>I A Bad Mom? I think the assumption is, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, you're not really a bad mum. But

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<v Speaker 2>then I think if they were actually to listen to

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<v Speaker 2>some of the shit we do, like, oh wow.

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<v Speaker 1>When we think about it, Okatie, people listen and they go,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, they did it too, because that's what

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<v Speaker 1>I do when I hear other people stories. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>we're in the same boat.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's kind of that stuff that you feel like

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<v Speaker 2>you shouldn't talk house. Should it all as mums? You know,

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh, yes, I do that too, But you

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<v Speaker 2>don't really want to stay out.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, because you're to take ownership then of your

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<v Speaker 1>ship behavior, clearly talking about shit behavior. I spoke about

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<v Speaker 1>it briefly on a podcast maybe last week, and it

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<v Speaker 1>was about the cake bake sale at Netball, and I

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<v Speaker 1>replied to the group saying, I'm so sorry. I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>bummed that I'm missing not being there for the bake sale,

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<v Speaker 1>and what did my sister in law? She messaged me

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<v Speaker 1>back and was like, are you really though? Like I

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<v Speaker 1>can already see through this. So fast forward another week.

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<v Speaker 1>My nephew is turning three. It's his birthday party. I

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<v Speaker 1>miss it because I'm out of work function and I

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<v Speaker 1>sent a group text to my family saying I'm very

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<v Speaker 1>sad not to be there. Give Leo a big hug

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<v Speaker 1>for me. Two family members sent me back private messages

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<v Speaker 1>circling it going But are you really though? And like

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<v Speaker 1>sarcastic things going, You're not really though? You're not really

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<v Speaker 1>sad about missing a three year old's birthday partty?

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<v Speaker 2>Were you going to be asked to bake something?

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely not? But anyway it got called out on it again.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, you're in a safe space now, how do you

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<v Speaker 2>really feel about missing out?

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<v Speaker 1>Am I a bad mum for not wanting to know

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<v Speaker 1>you feel like this? I know, deep down you feel

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<v Speaker 1>like this because you've got too near sixteen year old

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<v Speaker 1>girls that I can't even imagine what's going on in

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<v Speaker 1>their lives behind the scenes.

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<v Speaker 2>They even say that they're like, you don't want to last,

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<v Speaker 2>you don't want to know it you don't want to know.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, how much do you know about blah?

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<v Speaker 1>And they go, you don't want to know. It makes

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<v Speaker 1>me so nervous. For sixteen, as we know, Gracie headed

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<v Speaker 1>off for a week long camp.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was going to ask you how that one,

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<v Speaker 2>because that's a long time.

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<v Speaker 1>A week. We spoke about this and I was like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's going to be great. Monday to Friday, it'll fly by.

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<v Speaker 1>Got to Wednesday night. We were sitting there eating dinner,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just have this moment, like this overwhelming, Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, I really miss Gracie. I wonder what she's doing.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, you haven't spoken to them, you have no communication.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder if she's having great time, you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>all the But at the same time, my tummy was

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<v Speaker 1>like in this turmoil of just missing her, but also

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<v Speaker 1>like a little bit of worry. And this is where

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<v Speaker 1>that comes from.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is well, yeah, it's on for a month thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I don't feel like dads feel the same.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think. I don't think she haven't even noticed

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<v Speaker 1>that she was gone.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and so four nights yeah, yeah, see, mine have

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<v Speaker 2>only ever gone for two nights, and it's usually a

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<v Speaker 2>Monday Tuesday, which is annoying because I'm like, we can't

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<v Speaker 2>do anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Katie would have loved it. It was seven thirty eight

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<v Speaker 1>m drop off on the Monday, three pm pick up

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<v Speaker 1>on the Friday. Yeah so good, not even an early mark.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah so good. This is the thing, though, right, and

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<v Speaker 2>this is the same as if you were to have

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<v Speaker 2>like a weekend away. So forget school camp for a second,

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<v Speaker 2>but you have a weekend away without your kids, and

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<v Speaker 2>you're so excited for it. It's needed, you need that

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<v Speaker 2>time apart. And then you spend the entire time talking

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<v Speaker 2>about your kids, whether you're with your husband's friends or whatever,

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<v Speaker 2>and the whole time talking about them, and then you're

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<v Speaker 2>texting them, and then they're texting you, and then they're facetiming.

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<v Speaker 1>When they FaceTime, and you're on a weekend where you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not answering, I don't want to connect right now.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why when I went to that in health retreat,

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<v Speaker 2>no Wi Fi was the best thing, no face time,

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<v Speaker 2>no text messages. So anxious about it ended up being

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<v Speaker 2>the best I know.

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<v Speaker 1>I was telling someone else about that actually, about how

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<v Speaker 1>you were sad to be coming home because during COVID

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<v Speaker 1>you never wanted to leave the house, and now this

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<v Speaker 1>is the first time I've ever heard you say you

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<v Speaker 1>were sad about coming home. I was fucking spun out.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, who this This is not my friend Katie.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyway back to not wanting to know though my child,

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<v Speaker 1>smallest one. I went over and picked up Gracie. I

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<v Speaker 1>turned around, went back to get Elsie because they were

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<v Speaker 1>like seven minutes apart, right of the bell going. In

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<v Speaker 1>the seven minutes, my second born child has been able

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<v Speaker 1>to get information from Gracie's friends, who is still floating

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<v Speaker 1>around the school waiting for parents, to the point Katie,

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<v Speaker 1>She's literally looking at me with the biggest smile walking

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<v Speaker 1>across the oval, and I thought, what's that smug look about?

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm looking at else, going what is she doing?

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<v Speaker 1>She goes, Oh, she comes across and she looks at me.

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<v Speaker 1>She goes, I know everything that happened on camp everything.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm thinking, I just picked up your sister literally

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<v Speaker 1>lack seven minutes ago, and obviously I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 1>go what happened? Tell me everything in the seven minutes.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got a structure this right for the information to

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<v Speaker 1>come right you can't just be straight up, mind you.

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<v Speaker 1>She did jump off the bus, and she looked so happy,

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<v Speaker 1>like she was beaming. She was so happy.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, I'm just sorry, just imagining my kids when they

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<v Speaker 2>get back from camp. Honestly, like last time, and they

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<v Speaker 2>camped in actual tents last time. They had to do

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<v Speaker 2>all the shit themselves and build the fire and all

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<v Speaker 2>that kind of stuff. When they dragged themselves off the bus,

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<v Speaker 2>they looked like they'd been to war. They literally looked

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<v Speaker 2>like they'd just come home from like being on the

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<v Speaker 2>front line.

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<v Speaker 1>And they got in the car.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, you stink. And as we know, my

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<v Speaker 2>girls the ah are now they love to smell nice.

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<v Speaker 2>It's all about showering and putting all the sprays on

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<v Speaker 2>and everything.

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<v Speaker 1>I just looked at them.

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<v Speaker 2>They look completely deflated and when you stink, and they went, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, And Hally looked at me and went, Mum,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm wearing the same war yesterday morning.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how bad Graceie was down that rabbit hole,

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<v Speaker 1>but she still looked like she'd been at war. But

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<v Speaker 1>she was so happy, like she'd had the best time. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>A few of the other kids were getting off and

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<v Speaker 1>I was looking at him. I was like, they're rough.

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<v Speaker 1>They haven't slept for four days, like they're rough. The

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<v Speaker 1>teachers look so rough. I was like, enjoy sleeping for

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<v Speaker 1>the next two days, because you don't need that. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I just looked at Elsie when she started to try,

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<v Speaker 1>and she wanted to divulge everything before we even got

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<v Speaker 1>in the gate. Now Gracie's been home ten minutes. I

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<v Speaker 1>said to her, I don't want to know. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to know else she's mum, and I went, I

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<v Speaker 1>want Gracie to tell me when she's ready to tell me.

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<v Speaker 1>And she goes, Okay, can I just tell you one thing?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking Fuck if I say yes to one thing anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>I said, yep, go hit me with it. This was

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<v Speaker 1>before we even got to the gate, so we're standing

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<v Speaker 1>at the gate. Hadn't even said she because she's got

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<v Speaker 1>a boyfriend. Oh, I said, who is it? She is?

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<v Speaker 1>You really want to know? I said, oh, I thought

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<v Speaker 1>there's one particular child's name that if I hear, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna absolutely roast her about. Yeah, she told me who

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<v Speaker 1>it was and all the rest, and I was like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that's enough. Do you feel better now? She's yeah, she goes,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to go, and I said, no, let

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<v Speaker 1>her tell you. And then, in true Elsie style, like

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<v Speaker 1>a bulleted gate, she was just straight in there, great hate,

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<v Speaker 1>I know everything.

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<v Speaker 2>So Elsie has gone running over to Gracie, and Gracie's

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<v Speaker 2>dive velged.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah oh yeah, yeah yeah. So gave each other a big,

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<v Speaker 1>big information and then went straight up to the room.

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<v Speaker 1>And I didn't try and follow or listen or do

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<v Speaker 1>anything because I thought, I don't want to know. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to know. I do want to know, but

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to come from Grace. I don't want it

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<v Speaker 1>to be like gossip. I want it.

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<v Speaker 2>Did she tell you about it?

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<v Speaker 1>N We sat down to dinner that night, and she

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<v Speaker 1>was dead set, like you know when you're drunk and

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<v Speaker 1>you're trying to pretend that you're not drunk. That's how

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<v Speaker 1>tired she was.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So she's like like her eyes were really stretched and

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<v Speaker 1>she's just trying to talk a million miles an hour,

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<v Speaker 1>but it was all stumbling, and I was just sitting

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<v Speaker 1>there like, and she was telling me the most monotonous,

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<v Speaker 1>boring stories, like stepping me through, like step by step

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<v Speaker 1>by step, and then I was just like, I know

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<v Speaker 1>you're tired. You don't have to keep telling me about

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<v Speaker 1>your boyfriend. Tell me about this, so tell me about

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<v Speaker 1>what else went on camp. She looked at me and smocked.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, do you have a boyfriend now? She goes yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and then she told me obviously who it is, and

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<v Speaker 1>she goes, oh, it doesn't matter, I'm going to dump

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<v Speaker 1>him tomorrow. Anyway, I said, well, you can't because it's

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<v Speaker 1>the weekend, and don't be one of those girls. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, that's not kind. But at the same time,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, why do you invite him for dinner?

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to get to know him. Maybe he's a

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<v Speaker 1>really nice boy. She's like, this is so embarrassing, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, so.

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<v Speaker 2>What she didn't want to tell you? Oh god, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I's inviting move for dinner.

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<v Speaker 1>I know. I was like, I just want you to

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<v Speaker 1>tell me. I don't want to hear it from everyone else. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>that was Camp. Didn't want to know, found out more

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<v Speaker 1>information than I wanted to, But.

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<v Speaker 2>You still don't know because I'm like, well, how did

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<v Speaker 2>this relationship start?

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<v Speaker 1>Who said? What?

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<v Speaker 2>What was said was their hand holding?

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<v Speaker 1>I asked that. I asked what I said, oh, what

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<v Speaker 1>do you do? Hold hands on the bus? She went

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<v Speaker 1>bright red. I said, did you kiss? She was like, Mom,

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<v Speaker 1>don't even sat like got really offended. So if I

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<v Speaker 1>was to take her word off of her body language,

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<v Speaker 1>I can tell which one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>Lucky. It was just what was it?

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<v Speaker 2>Year six? Year six camp?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what my mom said? Nanad was sitting at

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<v Speaker 1>the table. Let me get said.

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<v Speaker 2>Nana D said, at least it wasn't band camp.

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<v Speaker 1>It's fun time at camp. No, it was worse. She

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<v Speaker 1>saw me out in front of my kids. She sat

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<v Speaker 1>there and she goes, well, do you want to start

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<v Speaker 1>talking about what you did when you were in grade six? Rachel?

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, what are you talking about? And then

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<v Speaker 1>in my head I was like, what camp was I

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<v Speaker 1>out in grade six? Fuck? Fuck funcks. No we're not

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<v Speaker 1>talking about that. What did you do? I was just

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<v Speaker 1>caught kissing a boy. I always got caught