Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad Mom?
Speaker 1: A podcast?
Speaker 2: Is the question we constantly asked three times a week,
Speaker 2: am I a bad Mom?
Speaker 1: It's funny because when you tell.
Speaker 2: People that we have this podcast and it's called am
Speaker 2: I A Bad Mom? I think the assumption is, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, you're not really a bad mum. But
Speaker 2: then I think if they were actually to listen to
Speaker 2: some of the shit we do, like, oh wow.
Speaker 1: When we think about it, Okatie, people listen and they go,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, they did it too, because that's what
Speaker 1: I do when I hear other people stories. I'm like,
Speaker 1: we're in the same boat.
Speaker 2: But it's kind of that stuff that you feel like
Speaker 2: you shouldn't talk house. Should it all as mums? You know,
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, yes, I do that too, But you
Speaker 2: don't really want to stay out.
Speaker 1: No, no, because you're to take ownership then of your
Speaker 1: ship behavior, clearly talking about shit behavior. I spoke about
Speaker 1: it briefly on a podcast maybe last week, and it
Speaker 1: was about the cake bake sale at Netball, and I
Speaker 1: replied to the group saying, I'm so sorry. I'm really
Speaker 1: bummed that I'm missing not being there for the bake sale,
Speaker 1: and what did my sister in law? She messaged me
Speaker 1: back and was like, are you really though? Like I
Speaker 1: can already see through this. So fast forward another week.
Speaker 1: My nephew is turning three. It's his birthday party. I
Speaker 1: miss it because I'm out of work function and I
Speaker 1: sent a group text to my family saying I'm very
Speaker 1: sad not to be there. Give Leo a big hug
Speaker 1: for me. Two family members sent me back private messages
Speaker 1: circling it going But are you really though? And like
Speaker 1: sarcastic things going, You're not really though? You're not really
Speaker 1: sad about missing a three year old's birthday partty?
Speaker 2: Were you going to be asked to bake something?
Speaker 1: Absolutely not? But anyway it got called out on it again.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're in a safe space now, how do you
Speaker 2: really feel about missing out?
Speaker 1: Am I a bad mum for not wanting to know
Speaker 1: you feel like this? I know, deep down you feel
Speaker 1: like this because you've got too near sixteen year old
Speaker 1: girls that I can't even imagine what's going on in
Speaker 1: their lives behind the scenes.
Speaker 2: They even say that they're like, you don't want to last,
Speaker 2: you don't want to know it you don't want to know.
Speaker 2: I'm like, how much do you know about blah?
Speaker 1: And they go, you don't want to know. It makes
Speaker 1: me so nervous. For sixteen, as we know, Gracie headed
Speaker 1: off for a week long camp.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to ask you how that one,
Speaker 2: because that's a long time.
Speaker 1: A week. We spoke about this and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's going to be great. Monday to Friday, it'll fly by.
Speaker 1: Got to Wednesday night. We were sitting there eating dinner,
Speaker 1: and I just have this moment, like this overwhelming, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I really miss Gracie. I wonder what she's doing.
Speaker 1: You know, you haven't spoken to them, you have no communication.
Speaker 1: I wonder if she's having great time, you know, like
Speaker 1: all the But at the same time, my tummy was
Speaker 1: like in this turmoil of just missing her, but also
Speaker 1: like a little bit of worry. And this is where
Speaker 1: that comes from.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is well, yeah, it's on for a month thing.
Speaker 2: Because I don't feel like dads feel the same.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think she haven't even noticed
Speaker 1: that she was gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so four nights yeah, yeah, see, mine have
Speaker 2: only ever gone for two nights, and it's usually a
Speaker 2: Monday Tuesday, which is annoying because I'm like, we can't
Speaker 2: do anything.
Speaker 1: Katie would have loved it. It was seven thirty eight
Speaker 1: m drop off on the Monday, three pm pick up
Speaker 1: on the Friday. Yeah so good, not even an early mark.
Speaker 2: Yeah so good. This is the thing, though, right, and
Speaker 2: this is the same as if you were to have
Speaker 2: like a weekend away. So forget school camp for a second,
Speaker 2: but you have a weekend away without your kids, and
Speaker 2: you're so excited for it. It's needed, you need that
Speaker 2: time apart. And then you spend the entire time talking
Speaker 2: about your kids, whether you're with your husband's friends or whatever,
Speaker 2: and the whole time talking about them, and then you're
Speaker 2: texting them, and then they're texting you, and then they're facetiming.
Speaker 1: When they FaceTime, and you're on a weekend where you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm not answering, I don't want to connect right now.
Speaker 2: That's why when I went to that in health retreat,
Speaker 2: no Wi Fi was the best thing, no face time,
Speaker 2: no text messages. So anxious about it ended up being
Speaker 2: the best I know.
Speaker 1: I was telling someone else about that actually, about how
Speaker 1: you were sad to be coming home because during COVID
Speaker 1: you never wanted to leave the house, and now this
Speaker 1: is the first time I've ever heard you say you
Speaker 1: were sad about coming home. I was fucking spun out.
Speaker 1: I was like, who this This is not my friend Katie.
Speaker 1: Anyway back to not wanting to know though my child,
Speaker 1: smallest one. I went over and picked up Gracie. I
Speaker 1: turned around, went back to get Elsie because they were
Speaker 1: like seven minutes apart, right of the bell going. In
Speaker 1: the seven minutes, my second born child has been able
Speaker 1: to get information from Gracie's friends, who is still floating
Speaker 1: around the school waiting for parents, to the point Katie,
Speaker 1: She's literally looking at me with the biggest smile walking
Speaker 1: across the oval, and I thought, what's that smug look about?
Speaker 1: And I'm looking at else, going what is she doing?
Speaker 1: She goes, Oh, she comes across and she looks at me.
Speaker 1: She goes, I know everything that happened on camp everything.
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, I just picked up your sister literally
Speaker 1: lack seven minutes ago, and obviously I'm not going to
Speaker 1: go what happened? Tell me everything in the seven minutes.
Speaker 1: I've got a structure this right for the information to
Speaker 1: come right you can't just be straight up, mind you.
Speaker 1: She did jump off the bus, and she looked so happy,
Speaker 1: like she was beaming. She was so happy.
Speaker 2: Right, I'm just sorry, just imagining my kids when they
Speaker 2: get back from camp. Honestly, like last time, and they
Speaker 2: camped in actual tents last time. They had to do
Speaker 2: all the shit themselves and build the fire and all
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. When they dragged themselves off the bus,
Speaker 2: they looked like they'd been to war. They literally looked
Speaker 2: like they'd just come home from like being on the
Speaker 2: front line.
Speaker 1: And they got in the car.
Speaker 2: I was like, you stink. And as we know, my
Speaker 2: girls the ah are now they love to smell nice.
Speaker 2: It's all about showering and putting all the sprays on
Speaker 2: and everything.
Speaker 1: I just looked at them.
Speaker 2: They look completely deflated and when you stink, and they went, yeah,
Speaker 2: I know, And Hally looked at me and went, Mum,
Speaker 2: I'm wearing the same war yesterday morning.
Speaker 1: I don't know how bad Graceie was down that rabbit hole,
Speaker 1: but she still looked like she'd been at war. But
Speaker 1: she was so happy, like she'd had the best time. Yeah.
Speaker 1: A few of the other kids were getting off and
Speaker 1: I was looking at him. I was like, they're rough.
Speaker 1: They haven't slept for four days, like they're rough. The
Speaker 1: teachers look so rough. I was like, enjoy sleeping for
Speaker 1: the next two days, because you don't need that. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I just looked at Elsie when she started to try,
Speaker 1: and she wanted to divulge everything before we even got
Speaker 1: in the gate. Now Gracie's been home ten minutes. I
Speaker 1: said to her, I don't want to know. I don't
Speaker 1: want to know else she's mum, and I went, I
Speaker 1: want Gracie to tell me when she's ready to tell me.
Speaker 1: And she goes, Okay, can I just tell you one thing?
Speaker 1: I'm thinking Fuck if I say yes to one thing anyway,
Speaker 1: I said, yep, go hit me with it. This was
Speaker 1: before we even got to the gate, so we're standing
Speaker 1: at the gate. Hadn't even said she because she's got
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. Oh, I said, who is it? She is?
Speaker 1: You really want to know? I said, oh, I thought
Speaker 1: there's one particular child's name that if I hear, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna absolutely roast her about. Yeah, she told me who
Speaker 1: it was and all the rest, and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's enough. Do you feel better now? She's yeah, she goes,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to go, and I said, no, let
Speaker 1: her tell you. And then, in true Elsie style, like
Speaker 1: a bulleted gate, she was just straight in there, great hate,
Speaker 1: I know everything.
Speaker 2: So Elsie has gone running over to Gracie, and Gracie's
Speaker 2: dive velged.
Speaker 1: Yeah oh yeah, yeah yeah. So gave each other a big,
Speaker 1: big information and then went straight up to the room.
Speaker 1: And I didn't try and follow or listen or do
Speaker 1: anything because I thought, I don't want to know. I
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I do want to know, but
Speaker 1: I wanted to come from Grace. I don't want it
Speaker 1: to be like gossip. I want it.
Speaker 2: Did she tell you about it?
Speaker 1: N We sat down to dinner that night, and she
Speaker 1: was dead set, like you know when you're drunk and
Speaker 1: you're trying to pretend that you're not drunk. That's how
Speaker 1: tired she was.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So she's like like her eyes were really stretched and
Speaker 1: she's just trying to talk a million miles an hour,
Speaker 1: but it was all stumbling, and I was just sitting
Speaker 1: there like, and she was telling me the most monotonous,
Speaker 1: boring stories, like stepping me through, like step by step
Speaker 1: by step, and then I was just like, I know
Speaker 1: you're tired. You don't have to keep telling me about
Speaker 1: your boyfriend. Tell me about this, so tell me about
Speaker 1: what else went on camp. She looked at me and smocked.
Speaker 1: I said, do you have a boyfriend now? She goes yeah,
Speaker 1: and then she told me obviously who it is, and
Speaker 1: she goes, oh, it doesn't matter, I'm going to dump
Speaker 1: him tomorrow. Anyway, I said, well, you can't because it's
Speaker 1: the weekend, and don't be one of those girls. I
Speaker 1: was like, that's not kind. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I was like, why do you invite him for dinner?
Speaker 1: I'd love to get to know him. Maybe he's a
Speaker 1: really nice boy. She's like, this is so embarrassing, and
Speaker 1: I was like, so.
Speaker 2: What she didn't want to tell you? Oh god, no,
Speaker 2: I's inviting move for dinner.
Speaker 1: I know. I was like, I just want you to
Speaker 1: tell me. I don't want to hear it from everyone else. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that was Camp. Didn't want to know, found out more
Speaker 1: information than I wanted to, But.
Speaker 2: You still don't know because I'm like, well, how did
Speaker 2: this relationship start?
Speaker 1: Who said? What?
Speaker 2: What was said was their hand holding?
Speaker 1: I asked that. I asked what I said, oh, what
Speaker 1: do you do? Hold hands on the bus? She went
Speaker 1: bright red. I said, did you kiss? She was like, Mom,
Speaker 1: don't even sat like got really offended. So if I
Speaker 1: was to take her word off of her body language,
Speaker 1: I can tell which one.
Speaker 2: Yourself.
Speaker 1: Lucky. It was just what was it?
Speaker 2: Year six? Year six camp?
Speaker 1: You know what my mom said? Nanad was sitting at
Speaker 1: the table. Let me get said.
Speaker 2: Nana D said, at least it wasn't band camp.
Speaker 1: It's fun time at camp. No, it was worse. She
Speaker 1: saw me out in front of my kids. She sat
Speaker 1: there and she goes, well, do you want to start
Speaker 1: talking about what you did when you were in grade six? Rachel?
Speaker 1: I was like, what are you talking about? And then
Speaker 1: in my head I was like, what camp was I
Speaker 1: out in grade six? Fuck? Fuck funcks. No we're not
Speaker 1: talking about that. What did you do? I was just
Speaker 1: caught kissing a boy. I always got caught