WEBVTT - New season, not new us! 0:00:05.921 --> 0:00:07.281 Approche Production. 0:00:10.161 --> 0:00:12.881 Welcome to Behind the Drapes. I'm your host Brent Draper 0:00:13.001 --> 0:00:14.241 aka Drakes, and. 0:00:14.201 --> 0:00:16.881 I'm Shanlee Draper and we're here to talk about stuff 0:00:16.921 --> 0:00:17.961 according to us. 0:00:18.481 --> 0:00:20.041 Hey guys, it's Draper here. 0:00:20.281 --> 0:00:22.361 And I was naked on the Golkos Highway. 0:00:23.481 --> 0:00:27.921 Yoh, buddy is made to give birth. You are a 0:00:28.161 --> 0:00:36.601 strong woman. Welcome back to the second season of Behind 0:00:36.641 --> 0:00:40.921 the Drakes. I'm Bran, I'm Shanley. Twenty three was one 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:44.561 hell of a year for us. It was as busy 0:00:45.321 --> 0:00:49.201 and as rewarding as you can possibly get. I think, 0:00:49.480 --> 0:00:53.241 obviously at the top little Bowie, you know, bringing a 0:00:53.281 --> 0:00:57.041 new life into the world amazing. So I moved to 0:00:57.081 --> 0:01:02.001 Melbourne and obviously took out the trophy in Marster Cheff, 0:01:02.001 --> 0:01:05.801 which is top five things of my life what I've done, 0:01:06.281 --> 0:01:08.801 and then Bang twenty twenty four hits us. 0:01:09.081 --> 0:01:11.600 Obviously, we had a lot of highs in the year 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.240 and they were like bang bang bang after each other. 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:16.641 You know. Our biggest low was that we lost Jock, 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:21.840 and then I think because of the way Master Chef 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:23.481 ran and how it was on TV and all that 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:26.560 kind of stuff, it was like high, really really low high. 0:01:26.601 --> 0:01:28.121 You know what I mean, like it felt like there 0:01:28.161 --> 0:01:30.441 was that you know, kind of you went back up 0:01:30.441 --> 0:01:32.481 when you had the win, obviously in terms of how 0:01:32.521 --> 0:01:35.201 busy you got and how much energy you're putting out 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:37.521 into the world, and I think obviously maybe at distraction 0:01:37.601 --> 0:01:39.881 as well. But so I just want to say that 0:01:39.881 --> 0:01:42.280 as well. I think we did have some lows for sure, 0:01:42.481 --> 0:01:45.041 but that year was very special in terms of the 0:01:45.041 --> 0:01:46.481 fact that you did win the show, and also we 0:01:46.521 --> 0:01:49.081 had a beautiful bowie and we moved to our favorite 0:01:49.081 --> 0:01:50.361 place in the northern New South Wales. 0:01:50.761 --> 0:01:51.681 Yeah, we love it. 0:01:51.921 --> 0:01:53.361 We love it there and we feel so lucky to 0:01:53.401 --> 0:01:56.721 live there. But I think today it's really important. So 0:01:56.961 --> 0:01:59.201 we were like talking about this episode and what we 0:01:59.281 --> 0:02:01.001 want to talk about. But Jpes was like, oh, you know, 0:02:01.001 --> 0:02:02.921 I don't want to just get on there and like 0:02:02.921 --> 0:02:04.601 talk about my own shit and you know, make it 0:02:04.641 --> 0:02:06.961 all about me. And I was like, well, the reality 0:02:07.041 --> 0:02:09.721 is it's behind the drapes. You'r draper. And I think 0:02:09.761 --> 0:02:12.921 it's important for us to not just like share how 0:02:13.001 --> 0:02:16.721 great things are, but to also in the moment, probably 0:02:16.841 --> 0:02:20.521 more important than ever, tell people when things aren't so great, 0:02:20.561 --> 0:02:22.641 because I think we hear a lot of hindsight stuff, 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:25.521 you know, like your story with your mental health with 0:02:25.641 --> 0:02:28.481 Master Chef was very much like you told the story, 0:02:28.481 --> 0:02:30.720 but you were telling it past tense. So you told 0:02:30.761 --> 0:02:32.800 it six months you know, it happened six months ago. 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:35.560 Whereas I think what we're kind of feeling and going 0:02:35.601 --> 0:02:40.440 through and like living through at the moment is really relevant, 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:42.721 and I think we should talk about it. So I'm 0:02:42.761 --> 0:02:44.321 going I open up to you, Drapes. I want to 0:02:44.321 --> 0:02:48.520 ask you, how are you feeling in twenty twenty four. 0:02:49.561 --> 0:02:52.800 Look, I think I don't know. This is the first 0:02:52.881 --> 0:02:56.641 year I think where I haven't been like, oh, yeah, 0:02:56.800 --> 0:03:00.121 this is twenty twenty four. This is my year. There's 0:03:00.121 --> 0:03:03.680 my purpose, there's my north star. That's where I'm heading. 0:03:04.121 --> 0:03:07.120 I've flowed into twenty twenty four of the back of 0:03:07.121 --> 0:03:09.240 twenty twenty three. Last sort of three months or twenty 0:03:09.361 --> 0:03:13.560 twenty three. You know, obviously baby and Christmas, I sort 0:03:13.561 --> 0:03:17.561 of just I had sort of nothing on, which isn't amazing, 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:19.800 Like it's how good is that to be able to, like, 0:03:19.921 --> 0:03:21.881 you know, be at home with your little newborn. 0:03:22.001 --> 0:03:23.281 Well, yeah, and that's what we've talked about. 0:03:23.281 --> 0:03:23.321 This. 0:03:23.361 --> 0:03:25.041 You would have dreamt of that when you had Alphae, 0:03:25.121 --> 0:03:26.721 you had two weeks off with Alfie, you had to 0:03:26.721 --> 0:03:28.281 go back to work, and you hated going back to work, 0:03:28.321 --> 0:03:31.201 Whereas this time around, you had November and December and 0:03:31.401 --> 0:03:34.321 you were like chomping at the bit to do some work, 0:03:34.361 --> 0:03:38.081 and realistically, like, let's be honest, you actually weren't that happy. 0:03:38.441 --> 0:03:41.361 We need to do something in life. You can't just 0:03:42.201 --> 0:03:45.281 cruise around. You need purpose in life. Yeah, I think 0:03:45.361 --> 0:03:49.281 everyone needs a purpose, whether the purposes their kids, or 0:03:49.481 --> 0:03:53.801 their purposes their career, or their purposes making people feel 0:03:53.841 --> 0:03:58.521 good by being a yoga, instructoring, volunteering, whatever it is. 0:03:59.201 --> 0:04:01.561 And you know, I think at the end of last year, 0:04:01.561 --> 0:04:05.161 I sort of lost a bit of my purpose. And 0:04:05.241 --> 0:04:07.161 I know a lot of people because I've talked to 0:04:07.161 --> 0:04:08.521 a lot of people, and I know a lot of 0:04:08.521 --> 0:04:11.201 people are going to feel the same where they just 0:04:11.281 --> 0:04:14.921 feel like I'm just floating around at the moment, no traction, 0:04:15.801 --> 0:04:21.041 no direction, no sort of goals, and just sort of 0:04:21.081 --> 0:04:24.001 I've just felt like I've stumbled and landed in twenty 0:04:24.041 --> 0:04:26.241 twenty four and now I'm just getting up and I'm like, 0:04:26.681 --> 0:04:29.320 where the fuck do I go? What do I do? Yeah, 0:04:29.361 --> 0:04:31.760 Like I thought, Hang on a minute, do I go 0:04:31.841 --> 0:04:34.001 back to being a trade e or do I try 0:04:34.041 --> 0:04:36.640 another trade? I love a lot of things. 0:04:37.201 --> 0:04:39.241 Which is so like I said that the time, You're so 0:04:39.281 --> 0:04:41.681 lucky to have somebody have hobbies and passions, which I 0:04:41.721 --> 0:04:42.721 had as many as you do. 0:04:42.961 --> 0:04:45.640 Yeah, and then you know, I've figured out that I know, 0:04:46.361 --> 0:04:50.121 for my own mental health, I don't want to go 0:04:50.201 --> 0:04:53.601 back to a job just to do a job. I 0:04:53.641 --> 0:04:57.121 want to do something that I just absolutely love, but 0:04:57.201 --> 0:04:58.681 I don't know how to get there. You know, I've 0:04:58.721 --> 0:05:01.880 got a lot of things that I could do. I 0:05:02.041 --> 0:05:03.841 just feel like I'm a little bit lost, and I 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:05.601 know a lot of people out there it would feel 0:05:05.601 --> 0:05:08.841 exactly the same, you know, especially the price of everything 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:11.041 in life at the moment, it's kind of keeping people 0:05:11.081 --> 0:05:15.041 locked into maybe jobs that they hate. But I really 0:05:15.121 --> 0:05:17.401 want to go, you know, find that thing that lights 0:05:17.401 --> 0:05:19.400 them up. But obviously sort of you know, you can't 0:05:19.401 --> 0:05:22.400 with you know, your finances tied up in like the 0:05:22.521 --> 0:05:25.281 job that you've got that's paying so well, or you know. 0:05:25.721 --> 0:05:27.241 Yeah, they feel stuck in a different way. 0:05:27.281 --> 0:05:28.441 So they feel stuck in a different way. 0:05:28.481 --> 0:05:30.001 They don't have the opportunity to go for things that 0:05:30.001 --> 0:05:32.401 they want. You feel stuck in the way that you've 0:05:32.401 --> 0:05:34.760 got so many things you could potentially do, but none 0:05:34.801 --> 0:05:36.961 of them are quite sticking, and none of them are 0:05:36.961 --> 0:05:40.041 giving you purpose like you really want them to. Yeah, 0:05:40.041 --> 0:05:42.001 because even as a trade I think you had purpose, 0:05:42.041 --> 0:05:43.840 Like you love that you said you had that feel 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:44.361 for steel. 0:05:44.721 --> 0:05:46.760 I have the Okay, here it is in the plan, 0:05:47.401 --> 0:05:49.641 and now go and build it. And you know you've 0:05:49.641 --> 0:05:51.321 got to work it out how it's going to work. 0:05:51.641 --> 0:05:54.161 How is it going to do this? And it's always 0:05:54.201 --> 0:05:56.281 like thinking building, thinking an end. 0:05:56.161 --> 0:05:58.440 Product product, and right now you don't have an end product. 0:05:58.761 --> 0:06:00.721 And like you know, we've talked about it. Maybe it's 0:06:00.721 --> 0:06:03.561 almost like you had like when you were a trade 0:06:03.601 --> 0:06:06.001 you felt like you had no options, and now you 0:06:06.081 --> 0:06:07.801 have so many options and you don't know which one 0:06:07.841 --> 0:06:09.640 it is. That sounds like such a first word problem, 0:06:09.641 --> 0:06:11.721 but it kind of is. When you're so lost and 0:06:11.761 --> 0:06:13.841 you're not doing much because you don't know what to do, 0:06:13.921 --> 0:06:15.681 Like it it's almost like you're paralyzed a bit at 0:06:15.721 --> 0:06:16.041 the moment. 0:06:16.081 --> 0:06:17.761 I don't want to really talk about this too much 0:06:17.801 --> 0:06:19.841 because it seems like it's just a fucking the first 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:21.921 world problem and get over yourself, brand and move on. 0:06:22.161 --> 0:06:25.681 But not having any purpose and just being drifting around. 0:06:25.961 --> 0:06:30.521 I've actually noticed my mental health has absolutely deteriorated. You know, 0:06:30.601 --> 0:06:33.121 the things that I should be doing that I preached 0:06:33.161 --> 0:06:36.760 everyone that I always do myself, I was no longer doing. 0:06:37.361 --> 0:06:41.400 It's exactly what happens every time. It's a vicious cycle 0:06:41.641 --> 0:06:44.721 of falling in that little rut or being whatever it 0:06:44.801 --> 0:06:47.001 might be, and then all of a sudden you can't 0:06:47.161 --> 0:06:50.841 get around to doing you know, the cold showers, running 0:06:50.841 --> 0:06:53.681 in the morning, the exercise, the you know all those 0:06:53.761 --> 0:06:56.961 things that when I had a purpose and I was excited, 0:06:57.241 --> 0:06:59.681 those things were just chicken feed in the morning. They 0:06:59.681 --> 0:07:02.521 were like, oh yeah, five k run, ten k run, 0:07:02.601 --> 0:07:05.601 let's go feeling good and doorphins at the moment. I'll 0:07:05.641 --> 0:07:07.481 go for a run, you know, and I just don't 0:07:07.521 --> 0:07:10.841 really feel much after it. Or I go fishing and 0:07:11.561 --> 0:07:13.401 I'll come back in. I'm like that was you know, 0:07:13.441 --> 0:07:15.641 it was good, it was fun. But it's like that 0:07:15.841 --> 0:07:18.001 used to freaking Like I used to come back in 0:07:18.361 --> 0:07:21.841 just like so excited. But you know, everything feels a 0:07:21.841 --> 0:07:25.761 little melancholy, like it's dulled a bit. Because obviously that's 0:07:26.121 --> 0:07:29.161 my mental health and I'm not finding the joy in 0:07:29.241 --> 0:07:32.241 those things that I used to Now obviously I can 0:07:32.321 --> 0:07:35.321 see that because I've gone through it before. I know it, 0:07:35.401 --> 0:07:38.641 and I'm making changes now. And you know, this morning 0:07:39.521 --> 0:07:41.961 was one of the best mornings I've felt, and all 0:07:42.001 --> 0:07:44.881 of a sudden, I could feel those little neuro bloody 0:07:45.241 --> 0:07:47.961 pathways in my mind going, oh, Brent, you know what 0:07:48.001 --> 0:07:50.321 you should do? Do this? Do that, do that? You know. 0:07:50.361 --> 0:07:52.201 I could see on Instagram there was a couple of 0:07:52.321 --> 0:07:55.441 openings for some jobs, and I was like, yeah, I 0:07:55.481 --> 0:07:58.161 could do that, and you know, I'm applying for them. 0:07:58.801 --> 0:08:01.361 None of them have worked out, but that's better than 0:08:01.481 --> 0:08:04.001 a week before where I was like just scrolling on 0:08:04.041 --> 0:08:07.921 Instagram and just like now, I'm like, well, you know, 0:08:07.961 --> 0:08:10.041 I could do this, I could learn how to do this, 0:08:10.041 --> 0:08:11.601 This could be a really good you know, this could 0:08:11.641 --> 0:08:13.401 be my purpose, this could be my new thing. I'll 0:08:13.761 --> 0:08:15.921 bite into and have a crack ad And you know, 0:08:15.961 --> 0:08:18.761 I'd apply for it and didn't quite make it. But 0:08:20.041 --> 0:08:20.481 that's all right. 0:08:21.121 --> 0:08:24.121 And I think what you've done, babe, is you've taken action, right, 0:08:24.201 --> 0:08:27.121 take an action. So it's like action creates traction. Like 0:08:27.241 --> 0:08:30.281 once we start to take action, some sort of traction 0:08:30.561 --> 0:08:33.161 usually happens. But you weren't taking any action. Let's be 0:08:33.201 --> 0:08:35.441 really honest here, you weren't taking any action. You had 0:08:35.481 --> 0:08:39.641 me nagging at you to get up and get moving 0:08:39.841 --> 0:08:42.521 and put your feelers out, and I was just trying 0:08:42.561 --> 0:08:44.721 to get you to take some sort of action. You 0:08:45.081 --> 0:08:48.601 continuously made excuse, but that's what you do when you're struggling, 0:08:48.681 --> 0:08:51.481 absolutely because it's the easiest way out. 0:08:51.481 --> 0:08:55.481 Like I had an excuse for everything over all. Right, 0:08:55.761 --> 0:08:59.761 there's a slight opportunity for a taco food van, you know, 0:08:59.841 --> 0:09:03.481 in a very very very good place. Now, I love 0:09:03.641 --> 0:09:06.921 taco is a thing that lights me up normally. And 0:09:06.961 --> 0:09:09.481 then so we would talk about it and I'll be like, yeah, 0:09:09.481 --> 0:09:11.361 that'll be the purpose of me. That'll be it. But 0:09:11.401 --> 0:09:15.121 then not even like ten minutes later, I'm like, it 0:09:15.121 --> 0:09:17.401 won't even able to get this place. And if I 0:09:17.401 --> 0:09:19.761 don't get this place and it will not work, like 0:09:20.321 --> 0:09:22.161 I only live on the northern rivers, there's not that 0:09:22.241 --> 0:09:24.961 many people. Then I'll be tied to the food van 0:09:25.081 --> 0:09:25.761 and this and that. 0:09:26.081 --> 0:09:28.801 Like you were being quite negative. Yeah, that's what your 0:09:28.801 --> 0:09:29.281 brain was. 0:09:29.401 --> 0:09:31.761 That's where my mind was one hundred percent. I know, 0:09:31.841 --> 0:09:34.401 there's people out there listening now that are like, fuck 0:09:34.481 --> 0:09:37.361 that I feel that because you know, I've talked to 0:09:37.641 --> 0:09:39.601 people I know about this and then like, mate, I 0:09:39.641 --> 0:09:41.681 actually feel the same way you do. I was talking 0:09:41.801 --> 0:09:45.441 in particular one guy. He is the reason that I've 0:09:45.481 --> 0:09:47.961 only gone to the gym four times in the last 0:09:48.481 --> 0:09:53.401 three months, three months because he fucking recks me. He 0:09:53.441 --> 0:09:56.881 doesn't have an off switch and I have to have 0:09:56.881 --> 0:09:57.961 two weeks recovery. 0:09:58.481 --> 0:10:01.401 We're not even joking, like, can you please stop going 0:10:01.481 --> 0:10:03.321 so hard at gym because every time you do this, 0:10:03.401 --> 0:10:05.161 you go once for the week and you can can 0:10:05.241 --> 0:10:06.481 not even walk for a week in. 0:10:06.401 --> 0:10:10.961 Away honestly come home shivering like I've been in Antarctic naked, 0:10:12.001 --> 0:10:14.681 and he probably goes home to go for a run. 0:10:15.401 --> 0:10:17.321 I was talking to him and I'm like, I'm thinking, 0:10:17.361 --> 0:10:19.761 you know, this guy works out all the time, he's 0:10:19.761 --> 0:10:22.081 an animal, he's got his shit together, and he's like, 0:10:22.121 --> 0:10:24.521 you know what, I'm fucking floating too, man. I totally 0:10:24.561 --> 0:10:27.441 feel you. So from that moment I think I knew, okay, 0:10:27.561 --> 0:10:29.681 like I'm not the only person You're just drifting around, 0:10:29.721 --> 0:10:32.041 and a bit of a wake up call to myself, 0:10:32.121 --> 0:10:35.001 like you know, I'm in a very privileged position, but 0:10:35.041 --> 0:10:36.121 that doesn't mean you don't struggle. 0:10:36.161 --> 0:10:38.361 But I think when you are in a privileged position 0:10:38.561 --> 0:10:42.561 sometimes you almost feel like your stuff isn't valid, so 0:10:42.601 --> 0:10:43.961 you don't want to talk about it, like you don't 0:10:44.001 --> 0:10:45.681 want to be, like like you said before, just as 0:10:45.761 --> 0:10:47.281 the problem, so you just keep to yourself. But that 0:10:47.361 --> 0:10:49.201 just makes it worse as well. Yeah, and I think 0:10:49.601 --> 0:10:51.081 so you know, we've talked about the things that I 0:10:51.081 --> 0:10:53.121 guess you weren't doing, and then the action steps that 0:10:53.161 --> 0:10:55.121 you have taken, Like, for example, you did speak to 0:10:55.121 --> 0:10:56.721 a friend and you did open up to him, and 0:10:56.721 --> 0:10:58.441 then you called Justin. You had to chat with Justin 0:10:58.481 --> 0:11:00.641 and you sort of found out how Justin was feeling 0:11:00.641 --> 0:11:02.841 about things. And I think, like I could see an 0:11:02.961 --> 0:11:05.801 instant shift in you. But that's because you finally took 0:11:05.841 --> 0:11:08.401 some action. And the crazy thing was, this is what 0:11:08.521 --> 0:11:11.521 you do preach to people, people call a mate, tell 0:11:11.601 --> 0:11:14.921 someone how you're feeling. But you have literally taken probably 0:11:14.921 --> 0:11:17.921 two months realistically, you started probably feeling a bit shitty. 0:11:17.961 --> 0:11:21.041 I reckon mid November, Yeah, when we're waiting for the 0:11:21.041 --> 0:11:22.761 baby to turn up, and we turned out a lot 0:11:22.761 --> 0:11:24.361 of work because we thought the baby was coming early. 0:11:24.521 --> 0:11:25.801 Turns out he came to the end of the month, 0:11:26.361 --> 0:11:27.681 so we were home for a lot longer. We had 0:11:27.681 --> 0:11:30.161 a home birth, which we couldn't really travel too far 0:11:30.201 --> 0:11:32.641 from our house for like the month before because we 0:11:32.641 --> 0:11:34.841 were conscious of having the baby, you know, at home, 0:11:34.881 --> 0:11:36.481 and we didn't want to be too far from home. 0:11:36.841 --> 0:11:39.321 So that I think all that kind of that started it. 0:11:39.401 --> 0:11:41.041 And then this is the thing. I love that we 0:11:41.081 --> 0:11:43.121 can just talk about this kind of stuff to each other. 0:11:43.361 --> 0:11:45.641 But it has not been fucking easy, Like talking to 0:11:45.721 --> 0:11:48.081 you has been hard lately, and You've been frustrated and 0:11:48.081 --> 0:11:49.241 I've been frustrated. 0:11:48.841 --> 0:11:53.441 Me in Alpha's okay, And here comes the cream on top. 0:11:53.801 --> 0:11:55.841 Whoever said terrible terrible too? 0:11:55.961 --> 0:11:56.881 Oh my god, they've got. 0:11:56.761 --> 0:12:02.481 Nothing understand fer five F five that, Oh my god, 0:12:02.601 --> 0:12:05.521 the little testostery and kick that he's just gotten and 0:12:05.561 --> 0:12:08.241 he arcs up to everything. Now. I know he's an 0:12:08.281 --> 0:12:11.561 amazing kid, and I love him dearly, but oh my god, 0:12:11.601 --> 0:12:12.681 he's pushing the buttons. 0:12:12.841 --> 0:12:15.441 You love him dearly, But you said to me recently, Sean, 0:12:15.641 --> 0:12:17.361 I love him, I just honestly don't really like him 0:12:17.361 --> 0:12:19.521 at the moment. And I was like, whoa, And that's 0:12:19.561 --> 0:12:21.281 like you've never said it that before. 0:12:21.361 --> 0:12:24.121 So I'm frustrated at him, and then you're frustrating me 0:12:24.201 --> 0:12:27.721 because I'm just frustrated in general. And then you're saying, like, baby, 0:12:27.761 --> 0:12:29.121 you need to get up and do something other and 0:12:29.241 --> 0:12:32.401 I'm like, you know, it's just like I can see 0:12:32.921 --> 0:12:37.481 how quickly a family can just be like start to separate, 0:12:37.601 --> 0:12:39.721 you know, and if there's no one in that family 0:12:39.761 --> 0:12:43.921 that is aware and can be like, hang on a minute, guys, 0:12:44.081 --> 0:12:46.801 this isn't personal attacks. This is just that, you know, 0:12:46.841 --> 0:12:49.041 there's a few things that aren't working proper here. You're 0:12:49.041 --> 0:12:51.121 probably not feeling the best. I'm not feeling the best. 0:12:51.281 --> 0:12:53.721 We need to make some changes here to keep going, 0:12:54.481 --> 0:12:58.921 which luckily enough we both are and you know, so yeah, 0:12:59.001 --> 0:13:01.721 back on the bandwagon. I'm feeling really good. Got back 0:13:01.761 --> 0:13:04.241 in here. Juices are flowing and that, babe. 0:13:04.001 --> 0:13:05.521 That's what I was going to say before you said 0:13:05.561 --> 0:13:07.841 I had the best morning this morning, and that's because 0:13:08.281 --> 0:13:10.721 you knew you were coming here today. You had purpose. 0:13:10.881 --> 0:13:13.001 Well, I went for a run again, I did everything 0:13:13.001 --> 0:13:15.401 that you know. I went on the beach, had to meditate. 0:13:15.481 --> 0:13:18.521 I looked around. I could see that like, I live 0:13:18.561 --> 0:13:22.001 in the most amazing place. You know, my problems are 0:13:22.041 --> 0:13:24.881 my problems, but there are only problems I can get solved. 0:13:25.441 --> 0:13:28.641 And then you know I can fix those problems. You know, 0:13:28.721 --> 0:13:31.561 none of us unwell and I can't fix it. I 0:13:31.561 --> 0:13:34.321 can fix these problems. You know, I'm feeling good again, 0:13:34.401 --> 0:13:38.401 and I just thought this episode would be really good, 0:13:38.481 --> 0:13:42.921 you know, for anyone out there who is kind of lost, struggling. 0:13:43.081 --> 0:13:44.961 You know what pisses me off at the moment. Not 0:13:45.081 --> 0:13:47.601 at the moment, I'm good now, but before when I 0:13:47.721 --> 0:13:51.321 wasn't one hundred percent these fuckers running, so many. 0:13:51.121 --> 0:13:53.441 People running, everyone. 0:13:52.761 --> 0:13:55.001 Running, It was like, yeah, I got my new Nike 0:13:55.081 --> 0:13:57.961 shirt on. Baby, I'm feeling good. I'm looking at them. 0:13:58.001 --> 0:14:02.401 I'm driving and I'm like, fuck, why is there so 0:14:02.481 --> 0:14:03.681 many people running? 0:14:03.921 --> 0:14:06.201 And isn't that interesting? No, because if you were in 0:14:06.241 --> 0:14:09.321 a different place mentally, you would be cheering those people on. 0:14:10.161 --> 0:14:12.841 You're feeling shit, You're like, fucking. 0:14:12.601 --> 0:14:13.361 Isn't it powerful? 0:14:13.361 --> 0:14:16.161 But here's a thing. We've both had a really really 0:14:16.201 --> 0:14:17.961 rough couple months. And we also need to preface this 0:14:18.041 --> 0:14:21.481 by saying we have a new baby, right, but our problems, 0:14:21.481 --> 0:14:24.721 I guess have been definitely with Alfhi. Alfie is obsessed 0:14:24.721 --> 0:14:28.801 with this baby, but he has definitely taken the transition 0:14:29.081 --> 0:14:31.601 from having just one kid to two differently to how 0:14:31.641 --> 0:14:35.281 we thought. And then dealing with you not feeling like 0:14:35.281 --> 0:14:36.721 that you don't have your purpose at the moment, and 0:14:36.761 --> 0:14:39.361 then I'm postpartum. So I think if you're listening to 0:14:39.361 --> 0:14:41.441 this and you're like, oh, fuck, this is our family, like, 0:14:41.481 --> 0:14:43.921 you're not alone, I honestly think that where one of 0:14:44.401 --> 0:14:48.001 millions of families that would feel like this. By this 0:14:48.081 --> 0:14:50.281 time every single year, I would have had my word 0:14:50.321 --> 0:14:53.321 for the year, and I would have had journal entries 0:14:53.441 --> 0:14:55.801 full of what my goals were. I have nothing right now. 0:14:55.881 --> 0:14:58.361 I literally have blank pieces of paper, which is so 0:14:58.481 --> 0:15:00.841 unusual for me. I just haven't been out of mentally 0:15:00.841 --> 0:15:03.441 find the space to actually sit down and put this 0:15:03.481 --> 0:15:06.081 stuff together. And also I don't even know what it 0:15:06.081 --> 0:15:08.121 looks like this year. So for you and I, we 0:15:08.321 --> 0:15:11.561 usually have a grip on these things, and right now 0:15:12.081 --> 0:15:13.961 that couldn't be further from the truth. We're both kind 0:15:13.961 --> 0:15:16.601 of just floating and trying to figure things out. So yeah, 0:15:16.601 --> 0:15:18.881 I thought it was important that we came on and say, actually, 0:15:19.161 --> 0:15:22.041 you know, in real time talked about what's going on 0:15:22.121 --> 0:15:24.201 as opposed to being like, oh, yeah, three months ago 0:15:24.241 --> 0:15:26.081 we're going through really hard time, Like no, this is 0:15:26.081 --> 0:15:28.321 the hard time right now. Like realistically, it's been a 0:15:28.441 --> 0:15:30.481 very hard couple of months. And the thing with us 0:15:30.561 --> 0:15:33.641 is we're not very good at probably asking for help 0:15:34.121 --> 0:15:36.201 or putting our shit on other people. I think we're 0:15:36.321 --> 0:15:38.761 very good at like listening and being the friends that 0:15:38.961 --> 0:15:41.361 everyone comes to if they've got stuff, which we love, 0:15:41.521 --> 0:15:43.921 Like I love being that person for friends and family. 0:15:44.401 --> 0:15:46.601 And I think because we are pretty we've always been 0:15:46.761 --> 0:15:49.201 very strong, and especially in our marriage, we've been so 0:15:49.201 --> 0:15:52.201 solid in our marriage, people almost like assume that, like 0:15:52.241 --> 0:15:54.601 we don't have stuff, so we don't talk about it, 0:15:54.681 --> 0:15:55.961 and so then we just kind of deal with it 0:15:55.961 --> 0:15:57.961 with each other. But then it's, yeah, it's kind of 0:15:58.041 --> 0:16:00.441 nice to just, i don't know, talk about it and 0:16:00.481 --> 0:16:02.321 let it all out and vocalize things. 0:16:02.361 --> 0:16:06.441 So I'm here talking about struggling in that, and I 0:16:06.521 --> 0:16:09.841 know that there's people out there who are struggling to 0:16:10.081 --> 0:16:13.241 and you know, might not even have a way out, 0:16:13.441 --> 0:16:16.601 and you know, might not have something that they can get. 0:16:16.641 --> 0:16:19.121 They've got to just knuckle down and you know, to 0:16:19.201 --> 0:16:22.041 talk to I'm thinking of you, I feel you, and 0:16:22.881 --> 0:16:25.201 you know, you just got to keep pushing until you 0:16:25.241 --> 0:16:27.041 can get sort of you know where you've got to be. 0:16:27.121 --> 0:16:29.761 And I think the biggest thing is to look after 0:16:29.801 --> 0:16:32.801 yourself but also take action. Like that is it, babe, 0:16:32.801 --> 0:16:36.761 Because when you weren't taking action, nothing was changing. If 0:16:36.761 --> 0:16:38.321 you're not changing it, you're choosing it. 0:16:38.561 --> 0:16:40.801 If you're not changing it, you choose choosing it. 0:16:40.841 --> 0:16:42.721 So it's like, if you're not changing the way you 0:16:42.761 --> 0:16:45.001 feel about something, you're choosing to feel that way. That 0:16:45.121 --> 0:16:47.241 is a choice, right, Like if you're not changing the 0:16:47.321 --> 0:16:49.161 fact that you know you feel like shit every day 0:16:49.161 --> 0:16:50.961 when you wake up and you're not going for a run, 0:16:51.121 --> 0:16:53.321 or you're choosing to not go around and you're choosing 0:16:53.321 --> 0:16:55.041 you feel like crap, something on those lines, I probably 0:16:55.041 --> 0:16:55.481 would did it. 0:16:55.521 --> 0:16:57.561 But yeah, for sure. 0:16:57.601 --> 0:16:59.401 And I think this whole podcast episode, if we can 0:16:59.481 --> 0:17:01.321 just wrap it up right now and just kind of 0:17:01.561 --> 0:17:03.681 give you the life lesson, I guess that we've learned 0:17:03.721 --> 0:17:05.961 recently out of it. It's just you have to take action. 0:17:06.041 --> 0:17:07.801 And it can be very small, it can be a 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:10.920 big action. It can be you know, talking to a friend, 0:17:11.001 --> 0:17:14.360 it can be googling what to do if I feel X, 0:17:14.441 --> 0:17:17.200 Y and Z. It could be calling lifeline, it could 0:17:17.241 --> 0:17:19.400 be reading a book, doing something makes you feel good, whatever. 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.041 Just take action. That's the most important thing because it 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:23.920 creates traction. 0:17:23.761 --> 0:17:27.281 Big action and one step at a time. I can 0:17:27.321 --> 0:17:30.521 promise you in you know, a couple of months time, 0:17:30.561 --> 0:17:34.321 if you've done that every single day consistently, you will 0:17:34.321 --> 0:17:38.041 be feeling so much better. Yeah, it's so easy, but 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:42.961 it's so hard. And I know how hard it is to. 0:17:42.120 --> 0:17:43.840 To know what you've got to do to feel better 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:44.920 but not be able to do it. 0:17:44.961 --> 0:17:49.080 And last night I'm like, yeah, babe, five am, five 0:17:49.120 --> 0:17:51.561 am club, get the alarm. I'm going for a run 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.960 along the beach. Alarm goes off. Am, I are you 0:17:54.041 --> 0:17:56.160 fucking kidding? I feel like I just went to sleep 0:17:57.001 --> 0:17:58.680 and you know what, I got up and went for 0:17:58.721 --> 0:18:00.401 the run and when I got back from the run, 0:18:00.561 --> 0:18:05.240 I was alive. So you're talking like nothing, And now 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:09.680