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Speaker 1: Hello, I'm torri Archbold. For two decades, I've nurtured the

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Speaker 1: world's top performing retail brands and celebrities. Now I'm asking entrepreneurs, CEOs,

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Speaker 1: and influencers to share their own secrets to success. They're highs,

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Speaker 1: their lows, the game changing moments, and how they got

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Speaker 1: to where they are today. It's a podcast equivalent of

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Speaker 1: opening the best Little Black Book of Contacts Ever. If

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Speaker 1: this resonates with you and you're ready to step outside

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Speaker 1: of your comfort zone and into your power zone, I

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Speaker 1: invite you to join my exclusive community via our website,

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Speaker 1: Powerful dash Steps dot com. Welcome to the Powerful Stories podcast,

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Speaker 1: where we bring you exclusive interviews with some of the

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Speaker 1: most inspiring and influential people around the world today. I

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Speaker 1: am delighted to welcome DeAndre Simmons, are a nowned businesswoman

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Speaker 1: and star of the Housewives of Dallas. She's joining us

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Speaker 1: to share her incredible journey, her experiences and insights that

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Speaker 1: will make you want to take your own powerful steps

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Speaker 1: in business and life. So DeAndre, are placing yourself outside

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Speaker 1: of your comfort zone and can be tough as a female, lada,

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Speaker 1: a wife, a step mom. What has been your most

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Speaker 1: challenging yet rewarding time in this lifetime.

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Speaker 2: There's so many and we were chatting before Torri, let's see.

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Speaker 2: I definitely think that being a step mom was a

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Speaker 2: difficult segue for me because I wasn't a parent and

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Speaker 2: my own right and my husband came along with two boys,

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Speaker 2: and even though they lived in South Carolina, they lived

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Speaker 2: with us. Actually they just moved out about in December.

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Speaker 2: They lived with us for a year and a half.

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Speaker 2: And if Housewives was continuing on, that would have been

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Speaker 2: another part of our story. The first year I was

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Speaker 2: on Housewives, I was not. I was kind of like

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Speaker 2: this with my step my step son Keaton, but we

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Speaker 2: worked things out because I'm a very ambitious person and

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Speaker 2: trying to instill that into someone else's children. I was

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Speaker 2: trying to do what I thought was the best thing

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Speaker 2: for them. However, that may not be their path, and

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Speaker 2: I had to learn to let go and not try

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Speaker 2: to force it because they have to come to their

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Speaker 2: own decisions about what their path is. My path overachieving

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Speaker 2: and success may not be theirs. They may just be

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Speaker 2: happy with the status quo, but that's okay. I have

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Speaker 2: to be okay with them being okay. With what their

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Speaker 2: choice is. So that was hard. Of course you're going

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Speaker 2: to ask me, I mean, pausewise, what was the hardest

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Speaker 2: thing I've ever done in my life? That was a

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Speaker 2: crazy ride. And it's it's not over yet, so we'll

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Speaker 2: see what happens. We're just on hiatus and all the

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Speaker 2: other goals. I think think it's over, but I've heard

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Speaker 2: from network executives that it's it's not over, so we'll see.

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Speaker 2: I think they were looking at Miami and kind of

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Speaker 2: seeing where they were and what they were going to

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Speaker 2: do with that show, and they brought it back to network.

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Speaker 2: But that was probably the most difficult I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: think and rough time in my life because I wasn't

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Speaker 2: used to the persecution online and I always want everybody

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Speaker 2: to like me, and being an actress, you want people

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Speaker 2: to like you, and you're told no all the time, rejection, rejection, rejection,

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Speaker 2: and you have to get used to it. But then

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Speaker 2: this is such an invasive way of people seeing your

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Speaker 2: life because it's reality TV, so they think they know

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Speaker 2: you and you signed up for it, so you're you're

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Speaker 2: guilty because you signed up to be on this TV

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Speaker 2: show and they can do whatever and ask anything and

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Speaker 2: say anything about you. It doesn't matter. There's no holes barred.

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Speaker 2: That was difficult for me because I would, no matter

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Speaker 2: how much I dislike someone, I would never go on

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Speaker 2: to a social media channel and say that because it's

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Speaker 2: just not in my character and my personality. Also, there

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Speaker 2: is something most people don't know about me, is that

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Speaker 2: I'm a survivor of domestic violence. And when I told

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Speaker 2: that story to the Salvation Army Women's luncheon in Dallas,

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Speaker 2: my mother was mortified. I did it because I thought

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Speaker 2: it was really important for people to know that women

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Speaker 2: like me can have that situation and can overcome and

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Speaker 2: become empowered through something like that, because you learn a

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Speaker 2: lot of lessons about who you are and how to

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Speaker 2: not repeat those mistakes. And telling that story was the

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Speaker 2: hardest thing I ever probably did personally in my life.

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Speaker 2: But there were so many women that you would be

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Speaker 2: shocked if I told you the names that came forward

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Speaker 2: and said thank you so much, and they were crying,

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Speaker 2: and I knew they were in the same situation or

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Speaker 2: have been in the same situation. So even though it

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Speaker 2: wasn't my parents and like me doing it, I did it,

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Speaker 2: and it was good for me.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I can relate to that because I

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Speaker 1: think that, on one hand, you and I are very

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Speaker 1: similar because you have this success, You've built these companies,

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Speaker 1: You're an entrepreneur. I've also blended my family. I have

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Speaker 1: a step son, I have an eighteen year old daughter.

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Speaker 1: But before I met my husband, we had a success

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Speaker 1: in survival story as well. And I always felt that

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Speaker 1: if I came forward and spoke about what happened behind

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Speaker 1: closed doors, I was going to be judged, people would

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Speaker 1: walk away, it would affect my business, and we were

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Speaker 1: approached by Marie Clare magazine to tell the story. It

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Speaker 1: took me four months to make that decision. Wow, And

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Speaker 1: when I went to print, it was actually after we'd

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Speaker 1: had Drew Barrymore launching Flower Beauty in Australia. And I

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Speaker 1: waited until she left because I didn't want to take

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Speaker 1: the spotlight of what we were doing for her. But

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Speaker 1: I also knew that it was going to be one

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Speaker 1: of those breakthrough moments where I was literally stripped bare

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Speaker 1: and excuse my French, but what the fuck were people

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Speaker 1: going to I was so scared and it wasn't just

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Speaker 1: my story, it was my family's story. But what I

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Speaker 1: noticed him stepping forward. Was that the most incredible people

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Speaker 1: stepped forward as well. And by actually breaking down those

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Speaker 1: barriers and standing in your truth, it's incredibly empowering. How

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Speaker 1: hard was it for you to make the decision to

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Speaker 1: step forward and actually stand in your truth?

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Speaker 2: Well, of course I had to tell my husband first,

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Speaker 2: and it was it okay if I told the story

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Speaker 2: and would he be supportive? And my husband's very supportive,

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Speaker 2: so he said, you have to do what's right for you,

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Speaker 2: and if you can help other people, other women, then

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Speaker 2: you definitely need to tell the story. My mother said,

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Speaker 2: that's a bad idea because you've got to look at

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Speaker 2: my mother generation, she's eighty two, my grandmother, they were

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Speaker 2: all people that read an Lander's column, and Landers says,

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Speaker 2: don't air your dirty laundry, so don't tell about you know,

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Speaker 2: don't take out the trash, don't tell about what's happened

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Speaker 2: in your life. My mother, I think it was the

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Speaker 2: most difficult with my mother and my aunt. My mother

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Speaker 2: is the only living relative really, my stepmother and I

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Speaker 2: don't really speak, and my step brother. Unfortunately, that's a

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Speaker 2: very difficult thing in my life because my biological father

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Speaker 2: committed suicide, and it caused cavalcade of issues afterwards with

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Speaker 2: the family, inheritance and things of that nature. And that's

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Speaker 2: a big regret too, because I did my best and

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Speaker 2: I tried to split everything evenly, but that's not what

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Speaker 2: they wanted. And so you know, I'm always trying to

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Speaker 2: be fair, so that was hard, but it was hard

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Speaker 2: for my family. I'll be honesty. Back to your the

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Speaker 2: very core of your question is it was hard to

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Speaker 2: talk to my mother about it and have her sit

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Speaker 2: there in the audience, and I'm sure she was a

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Speaker 2: little bit embarrassed and ashamed that it had happened to

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Speaker 2: me and that I was telling the story. So it's

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Speaker 2: just a different generation. But then you think, okay, fast

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Speaker 2: forward to housewives. I went on housewives. On Housewives, it's

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Speaker 2: a reality show, so that prepped me for let's talk

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Speaker 2: about what's really happening. I could care less if we

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Speaker 2: are having an issue with my companies, which we did financially. Otherwise,

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Speaker 2: all these women were trying to embarrass me by saying

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Speaker 2: I was poor, I was this, I was that. Okay, fine,

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Speaker 2: you can try to embarrass me, but I've been through

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Speaker 2: so much more as a woman. This is nothing. I

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Speaker 2: can overcome that. And it also allowed me to be

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Speaker 2: feel free to speak about anything and everything that was

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Speaker 2: actually happening, because I'm not embarrassed because so many people

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Speaker 2: come back and they say thank you. There was one time,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you if you ever saw the

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Speaker 2: show or not, that one of the girls tried to

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Speaker 2: talk about my past when I was in my twenties

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Speaker 2: and I was an actress in Hollywood and just like

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Speaker 2: anybody in the nineteen eighties and nineties, got involved with

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Speaker 2: the wrong crowd and I did go to a rehab program. Well,

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Speaker 2: I was twenty seven years old at the time. She

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Speaker 2: mentioned it on the show in front of Andy Cohen

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Speaker 2: at the reunion. Had nothing to do with the show,

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Speaker 2: nothing to do with the show, was just she was

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Speaker 2: trying to retaliate. She thought I would lie, and Andy said,

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Speaker 2: is that true? I said, yes, Andy, it's true. I

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Speaker 2: said I was twenty seven, I'm fifty one. Does it

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Speaker 2: matter at this point? And I said, next question, please,

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Speaker 2: And that was it. And then people from all over

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Speaker 2: the country and all of the world were saying, thank

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Speaker 2: you for being honest. What did happened? Tell me about

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Speaker 2: your story and the fact that you actually stood up

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Speaker 2: to these women and said, yeah, that happened to me,

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Speaker 2: and let's move on instead of trying to hide it.

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Speaker 2: So I don't hide anything about my life. That's my

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Speaker 2: mother says, it's I'm My husband says I'm an overshare,

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Speaker 2: and so does my mother. But that's my generuption.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I love about Indianda. I love

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Speaker 1: the fact that you're like, I'm owning my truth. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I've got happiness in my heart and that's all

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Speaker 1: that maddens. And I honestly think that when you anchor

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Speaker 1: a remove to your you know your truth, your values,

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Speaker 1: to your intent and your purpose, you can actually create

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Speaker 1: and deliver a bigger impact. And I've never understood on

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Speaker 1: those shows, why are the women want to drag others

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Speaker 1: down rather than being there to actually lift others up

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Speaker 1: and show other women how they can be empowered to

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Speaker 1: live their best life.

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Speaker 2: What your past is? Your past? Who gets well? I

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Speaker 2: think the genesis of the show is a little bit

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Speaker 2: they want that drama and they want those kind of things.

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Speaker 2: I don't know the last season when we had my

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Speaker 2: friend tiffany on and there was all this in our country,

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Speaker 2: I'm sure in Australia too, a mention of racial tensions

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Speaker 2: that are happening the last five years, and so I

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Speaker 2: really tried to handle that in a I would say

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Speaker 2: the best way I could, above board and just say

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Speaker 2: you know, I didn't know. I would love to learn

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Speaker 2: some lessons. I should have had maybe a luncheon or

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Speaker 2: a dinner and had Tiffany explain to us how when

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Speaker 2: she came to this country what it was like, and

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Speaker 2: then we could have had understanding. That's my mistake and

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Speaker 2: I owned it, but everyone else wanted to fight about it,

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Speaker 2: and that's not a fight that's not across you want

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Speaker 2: to die on. So it's better to learn learn something

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Speaker 2: from the situation. I learned a lot from how I

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Speaker 2: handled it, and I thought I handled it well at

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Speaker 2: the time. I couldn't handled it better. So there are

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Speaker 2: times where you can uplift and there are times when

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Speaker 2: they they they're really going to make you downship no

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Speaker 2: matter what, because that's what they want. They want the fights,

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Speaker 2: they want the silicious material. Let's face it, they want

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Speaker 2: the clickbait.

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Speaker 1: So Sydney Housewives they ran it and they couldn't get

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Speaker 1: syndication anywhere in the world because it was known as

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Speaker 1: the bitchiest season globally, and.

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Speaker 2: It's taken them what's wrong with that? Didn't they like that?

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Speaker 1: It was awful? Like it was awful, it was toxic,

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Speaker 1: it was just it just was not a good reflection

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Speaker 1: of women. And so they've taken a lot of time

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Speaker 1: to actually select the next women so that it actually

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Speaker 1: is more empowering versus taking people down a funnel that

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Speaker 1: they don't want to go.

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Speaker 2: I wish they would do that, honestly, I wish they

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Speaker 2: would have Ours was a little campy. I was the

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Speaker 2: oldest person on the show. It was a little campy,

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Speaker 2: which is kind of more fun. But still I do

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Speaker 2: believe that you can be inquisitive and interesting and comedic

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Speaker 2: and not necessarily have to get in the dirt. So

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Speaker 2: when I was thrown in the dirt about my business

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Speaker 2: and I handled it, the other girl that did that

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Speaker 2: to me, I wanted head and said, well, what about

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Speaker 2: your relationship? Because she was hiding all this stuff and

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Speaker 2: then off the cup, I called her pr person. I

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Speaker 2: said it'd be better for her to tell the truth

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Speaker 2: because every woman in America is going to really have

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Speaker 2: this experience of someone cheating on them or being unfaithful

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Speaker 2: or having what I had domestic violence? So why not

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Speaker 2: go with the truth. It's much more interesting than this

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Speaker 2: fairy tale story. That's a bunch of bs and everybody

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Speaker 2: knows it. So, yeah, that's what I would have done.

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Speaker 2: That was why dear Simmis would have held it, but

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Speaker 2: she didn't. Yeah, it's like standing your truth.

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Speaker 1: Now I want to switch speeds because you are a

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Speaker 1: successful entrepreneur. You've had success in survival in your businesses.

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Speaker 1: You've got two one's called hard Night Good Morning skincare,

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Speaker 1: and you've also got a supplement company which boosts your

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Speaker 1: immune system, which I love this stuff. Right, How do

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Speaker 1: you turn up with so many different masks on?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: Yes, stepmom, wife, entrepreneur, actress, housewife. How do you do it?

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Speaker 1: What drives you but also what keeps you saying?

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Speaker 2: So I was it's funny that you said that, because

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Speaker 2: today I was on the way home and now I'm

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Speaker 2: a chef. I don't know if you knew that or not.

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Speaker 2: Fun So I finished. I finished my executive culinary school program,

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Speaker 2: and immediately as I was driving away from the center,

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Speaker 2: I got a text about opening a restaurant from a

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Speaker 2: very prominent restaurant developer in Dallas, and I'm like, what

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Speaker 2: is going on? So now I think I'm in the

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Speaker 2: restaurant business too. So at three in the morning and

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Speaker 2: I was on the way home today, I was texting

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Speaker 2: him about an idea I had for the restaurant, and

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Speaker 2: I had twelve other things I was doing at the

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Speaker 2: same time. But I'm the best one. I'm the busiest.

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Speaker 2: So with a skincare hat. Before I was talking to

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Speaker 2: him the restaurant tour, I was on the phone with

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Speaker 2: my CEO talking about the skincare line and our meetings

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Speaker 2: that we're having with Nemon's and with a couple other

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Speaker 2: spas and things like that, and where are they and

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Speaker 2: have you talked to the person today? Also we're talking

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Speaker 2: to Central Market again about my nutrition supplements. We had

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Speaker 2: this skincare of it really doesn't fit there, but the

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Speaker 2: nutrition does. So and then so I was getting all

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Speaker 2: the run down because I'm leaving town. And then I

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Speaker 2: have Simply Simmons, which has also the food products that

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Speaker 2: we're coming out with, which are going to be rubs

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Speaker 2: and spices and sauces and different fried pies and things

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Speaker 2: like that. And then we also have a perfume launch

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Speaker 2: and it's called U Dutay and I own that as well.

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Speaker 2: I own about ten trademarks. I own everything that I

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Speaker 2: can think of. As soon as I think about it,

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Speaker 2: I just buy it. So I do. I think it's

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Speaker 2: more fun to have to wear a lot of different hats.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure my COEO who is COO of Ultimate Living

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Speaker 2: Nutrition Supplements, which my mother started because she's a cancer survivor,

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Speaker 2: and our most important product in that line is the

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Speaker 2: green Foods powder that she created. She was the first

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Speaker 2: woman to create a green food powder. And then in

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Speaker 2: my other line is Hard Night Good Morning Skincare because

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Speaker 2: I had her skincare line before, and so we're in

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Speaker 2: that kind of offshooting. We also make essential oils. We're

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Speaker 2: doing a line of perfumes next. So I think she

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Speaker 2: probably is telling me she wants She doesn't say slow down,

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Speaker 2: but I just said, I want to kind of be

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Speaker 2: a Martha Stuart without the crafsy stuff. I'm not crafsy.

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Speaker 2: I'm domestic, but I'm not crassy.

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Speaker 1: Your mom is telling you to slow down, or the

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Speaker 1: COO colo says slow down because I've got too much

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Speaker 1: on my plate a little at times, so yeah. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: how do you manage this is a coo across all businesses?

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Speaker 2: She is, she is.

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Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, okay, so you got one direct client of contact.

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Speaker 1: So when you wake up in the morning, what do

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Speaker 1: you do to ground yourself? So, for me, in the morning,

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Speaker 1: like I got this Buddhist monk years ago who was like,

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Speaker 1: slow down, otherwise there is no life. And he told

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Speaker 1: me I needed to learn how to meditate. And I said,

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Speaker 1: I've got no time to meditate. I'm busy, I'm running

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Speaker 1: a business, I'm a single mom, I'm traveling all over

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Speaker 1: the world. And he goes, I don't want to hear

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Speaker 1: the bullshit. And he told me that I could meditate

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Speaker 1: in the shower every morning because it was the only

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Speaker 1: place that I was on my own right. Every morning,

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Speaker 1: I get like three drops of lavender oil, I put

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Speaker 1: on my decolage and I inhalexcel and it grounds me

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Speaker 1: and I'm able to navigate my day. And then before

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Speaker 1: I go to bed at night, I repeat it but

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Speaker 1: with gratitude. So this is like how I ground myself. Well,

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Speaker 1: I juggle my life right, but it brings me into alignment. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so what's your ritual? Like how do you get up,

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Speaker 1: How do you start your day? How do you set

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Speaker 1: yourself up for success?

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Speaker 2: I hate to start my day. I'm a horrible morning person.

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Speaker 2: I don't talk to me before my coffee. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: after my shower. I'm a very good person in the morning.

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Speaker 2: I don't like to do interviews before eleven am. That horrible.

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Speaker 2: So when we're doing press tour and we had to

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Speaker 2: be up at four or five in the morning, and

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Speaker 2: for you know, I was just like, oh God, because

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Speaker 2: I start having all these inspirational ideas at three in

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Speaker 2: the morning, and I get up, turn my light on

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Speaker 2: and write them down. Because my husband sleeps with like

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Speaker 2: a canopy over his head so he can do his

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Speaker 2: little TV watching, which I don't do any tea or anything.

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Speaker 2: And then I can make my notes. But I do

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Speaker 2: so I have about twenty meditation apps to answer your

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Speaker 2: question that sit on my phone and I pay for

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Speaker 2: and I'm always going to do it, always going to

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Speaker 2: do it. And then I don't make time. The only

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Speaker 2: time I take for me, so to speak. So I

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Speaker 2: get up, I have my coffee, I kind of look

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Speaker 2: at the stock market, which I used to be a stockbroker,

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Speaker 2: so I trade some of my own accounts. So I

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Speaker 2: look at the stock market, see if I'm doing having

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Speaker 2: a good day or bad day, if I should even

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Speaker 2: look back. So and then I do. Sometimes I'll read

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Speaker 2: a devotional, Sometimes I'll do oracle card, sometimes I'll do

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Speaker 2: little mantra. It depends. I try to do something. The

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Speaker 2: benefit's small.

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Speaker 1: What's your favorite mantra? Because mine is a happy heart

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Speaker 1: is a magnet for miracles.

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Speaker 2: Well, probably my favorite mantra is what my purpose I

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Speaker 2: came up with for my life? Your purpose? So yeah,

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Speaker 2: my purpose for my life, which I try to live

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Speaker 2: by every day, is to live my life withuthenticity in

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Speaker 2: order to inspire others. That's it beautiful. So if I

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Speaker 2: wake up every morning and I have that written on

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Speaker 2: a piece of paper, so then and it's also it's

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Speaker 2: other places. But I came up with that because my

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Speaker 2: husband just looked at me one day, gause, what's your

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Speaker 2: purpose in life? And I was like, oh, And I

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Speaker 2: wanted to get it down to one sentence because I

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Speaker 2: didn't go through an exercise with a gentleman that was

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Speaker 2: a pr person years ago, and he had me do

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Speaker 2: this whole long exercise and I started with one hundred

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Speaker 2: and fifty words and I had to get it down

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Speaker 2: to six or five and it was the hardest thing

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Speaker 2: I ever did. And then when my husband looked at

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Speaker 2: me and said that, I thought, yeah, I really probably

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Speaker 2: need to do that because I need to come up

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Speaker 2: with one thing and stick to the one thing, because

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Speaker 2: that makes it a lot easier when you're trying to

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Speaker 2: live your life authentically. So inspiring other people and living

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Speaker 2: authentically is my two things. And so that, I guess

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Speaker 2: would be the closest thing. That's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: And then you've got authenticity. Do you live and die

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Speaker 1: by a value set as well? Because I'm assuming that

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Speaker 1: authenticity is in that value set, So I break mine

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Speaker 1: down into trades, passion, integrity.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So mine would be if I look back, going

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Speaker 2: back to the list of words I believe, and I

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Speaker 2: don't have him here. It's been a couple of years,

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Speaker 2: but dynamic was one of my words. Authentic was a word.

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Speaker 2: Inspiration was a word. Oh curious, I'm very curious. My

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Speaker 2: husbands me curious. George like the little book the Monkey

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Speaker 2: ask twenty five thousand questions. He's like, shut up, stop

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Speaker 2: asking questions. And there was one other word and not

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Speaker 2: that may not even exist anymore because I can't think

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Speaker 2: about it. But passion was all. I think Passion was

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Speaker 2: in there as well. Dynamic passion, curious, authentic, and inspiring.

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Speaker 2: Those are kind of the things that really drive me

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Speaker 2: every day. And am I doing those things to help

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Speaker 2: other people? So oh, compassionate. I believe it was compassionate.

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Speaker 2: Compassionate And people think I'm not compassionate because of my

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Speaker 2: personality that they see on the show, and I think

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Speaker 2: that comes from being, like I said, a survivor domestic

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Speaker 2: violence and not being real as touchy, feely and affectionate.

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Speaker 2: My husband's very affectionate. I have to learn that process

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Speaker 2: because of different things in my life. So it's not

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Speaker 2: that I'm a hard, bitchy woman. It's just that I'm

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Speaker 2: maybe not as soft as some of the other women

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Speaker 2: in my delivery. It's in my heart, but my delivery.

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Speaker 2: It all comes down to experience.

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Speaker 1: But also I love the fact that you say that

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Speaker 1: you're working on these and as women, I think as well,

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Speaker 1: it's so hard to ask for help, you know, Like

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Speaker 1: I know, my first business, I had it for two decades,

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Speaker 1: end up at the top of my game, but I

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Speaker 1: was afraid to ask for help because I was afraid

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Speaker 1: of being judged. Right, how do you ask for help

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Speaker 1: when you get stuck?

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Speaker 2: Well, i'll give you an example, though. It's just right

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Speaker 2: Aproposta right now in my life. So I when I

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Speaker 2: was looking at this culinary world, and I love to cook,

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Speaker 2: and I always cooked on Housewives on purpose. Every season

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Speaker 2: I did a show that was a cooking show because

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Speaker 2: I wanted to translate into a cooking personality. And I'm

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Speaker 2: a decent coker that I went to the culinary school program.

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Speaker 2: So when I left Housewives, Okay, there's so many women

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Speaker 2: on TV. But where is there a darth of women?

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Speaker 2: Where there's not a lot? And I looked around, I thought,

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Speaker 2: m barbecue. There's not a lot of barbecue women, and

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Speaker 2: they don't look like me. So there's a few, but

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Speaker 2: not a lot. And so let's see if I can

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Speaker 2: get into the barbecue world. So I shoved my way

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Speaker 2: and broke down the door and just started asking people

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Speaker 2: to teach me. And why would they teach me their secrets?

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Speaker 2: Why would they be interested? And they all said yes.

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Speaker 2: So I had to have the courage to go to

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Speaker 2: them and have them. I figured they would all laugh

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Speaker 2: at me because I was a housewife, make fun of

430
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 2: me and think this is ridiculous. This woman doesn't want

431
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 2: to learn how to barbecue. Why would we do this?

432
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 2: Why we waste our time? But I became friends with

433
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 2: them and then I asked and they they all said yes.

434
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 2: That one person that said no to me.

435
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 1: So I've got a question about these So for anyone

436
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 1: listening to these podcast, Tianja, what you're saying is, don't

437
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,640
Speaker 1: be afraid to ask for help. People are gonna say yes.

438
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 1: And mimall showy is is if they say no, there's

439
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 1: away someone else.

440
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 2: If they say no, it's no right now and maybe not,

441
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 2: maybe it's not a know forever, and you're right, there's

442
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,440
Speaker 2: always someone else. Go to the next person. Don't even

443
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 2: waste your time. Just go to the next person because

444
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: the next person will say yes, or the next person,

445
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 2: and don't be discouraged.

446
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: And you've really stepped into your passion and you're not

447
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: afraid at any age to try something new. For those

448
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 1: people listening that have been sitting on a big dream

449
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 1: and they're really scared about stepping out of the hot

450
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 1: mess that they might find themselves in now to actually

451
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 1: step into something which is purposeful, that's going to light

452
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 1: them up, that's going to give them that happy heart.

453
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 1: How do you recommend stepping into that moment in time?

454
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 2: The first thing is you just have to take that

455
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 2: leap of faith, and you have to get yourself to

456
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 2: where you have to believe in yourself first and have

457
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 2: the value and the self worth that you need to

458
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:48,959
Speaker 2: be able to do that. And a lot of people

459
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 2: if everything starts at home, and when I say it

460
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 2: starts at home, it starts within ourselves. So we have

461
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 2: to have the light inside of our heart in our

462
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 2: lives before we can go out and show it to

463
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 2: other people and express our desires. And I always think

464
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 2: that if if I'm living and I'm true to myself,

465
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 2: if you're true to yourself, it's really hard to go wrong.

466
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 2: When you start fearing and doing things that other people

467
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 2: tell you you should do instead of what you want

468
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: to do, that's when it all goes to pot. It's

469
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 2: my dad, you say it's all going to pot, you know,

470
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 2: and mean pot in a cattle, not like Pot's book. No,

471
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,119
Speaker 2: I mean it's just you know, it all goes wrong.

472
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 2: So just stay true to yourself. But you have to

473
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 2: step out and you have to take the first you

474
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 2: have to take the first step, the baby step of trying.

475
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 2: And if you don't know how to do that, ask

476
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 2: people or go online. There's lots of inspirational people that

477
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 2: can teach you that. You can go on YouTube and

478
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,119
Speaker 2: get lots of free things and watch these people that

479
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 2: are successful. You don't have to pay for everything, and

480
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 2: or read a book about it, and I do my

481
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 2: research and then like with the barbecue thing, I did

482
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 2: my research, I found the people. I went to the

483
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 2: barbecue fest and I just started saying, I'm Deander Simmons,

484
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 2: I'm a real housewife. Don't like I really want to

485
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 2: learn barbacue. I just love that.

486
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 1: I absolutely love it because it's like, this is what

487
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: I'm doing, I'm stepping into it, and this is what's happening.

488
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: How do you know to trust your intuition? Oh, that's

489
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 1: very How do you trust it? Like, how do you

490
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: trust Obviously you use oracle cards. I love oracle cards

491
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:23,439
Speaker 1: as well. How do you trust yourself when you receive

492
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: a message?

493
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 2: I think that's something that we can all contend. That's

494
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 2: a lifelong process. And in fact, I was just thinking

495
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,199
Speaker 2: about this the other day because I was thinking, you know,

496
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 2: my intuition is pretty I'm a Pisce's son, so my

497
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 2: intuition is pretty good. But sometimes it's not so great,

498
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 2: depending on where the planets are and all those kind

499
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 2: of things. But normally, in my gut, it's my first instinct,

500
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 2: that's the right instinct when and I'll still. I'll tell

501
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 2: you a little example. When I was in school, I

502
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 2: think I was in like third grade or something, and

503
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 2: we had to do a little project and they said

504
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,199
Speaker 2: pick a number from one to ninety seven, and I

505
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 2: had thirty six my head. I didn't go with thirty

506
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 2: six because I was like, oh, it can't be thirty six.

507
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 2: It was thirty six and I would have won a prize.

508
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 2: So just that was my first lesson as to, okay,

509
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 2: I need to trust my intuition because it's normally right.

510
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 2: If I have a bad feeling about someone in my gut,

511
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 2: it's normally right. So that I think you just have

512
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 2: to listen, be still, so a couple different things. Be still, meditation.

513
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 2: When you're still, you hear and learn and get downloads.

514
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 2: In the Bible it says be still, know that I'm God.

515
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 2: That's one of my favorite verses. So when I'm still

516
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 2: is when I'm getting my best information and I can

517
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 2: get a download on something i'm confused about beautiful and

518
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,479
Speaker 2: if I go against it, if I go against it,

519
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 2: then it's probably not. It's tough.

520
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 1: I do that every morning, that shower, Rachel, is when

521
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: I get my beautiful downloads and I trust that wholeheartedly,

522
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: which is, you know, it's such a beautiful way to

523
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: live is in flow and alignment. So for those people

524
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 1: that are really struggling with trusting themselves, what do they do?

525
00:24:59,440 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 2: What do they do?

526
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: Oh?

527
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 2: Goodness, Well, I've had I'll be honest with you. I've

528
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 2: had years of therapy. I mean, and I'm still going

529
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: to therapy and it helps me just having somebody to

530
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 2: talk to about not feeling worthy. You got to think

531
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 2: about how unworthy I felt as a woman that was abused.

532
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 2: So that's a big step from somebody in that situation

533
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 2: to where I am today and feeling like I can

534
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 2: do anything. I'm empowered to do anything. Nobody's going to

535
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 2: hurt me, nobody's gonna touch me, nobody's going to make

536
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 2: me feel fat, ugly, not good enough, not successful enough.

537
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 2: I mean, that's those are the things I struggled with,

538
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: and I think as an actor. As a child, I

539
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: struggled with that because my family wasn't really into me

540
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 2: doing that, and then I didn't look the part when

541
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 2: I was trying out in my teens and my twenties

542
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 2: because that was when there there were no curby women

543
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 2: and acting back then. So I just, you know, I just,

544
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's very difficult, but there's just so

545
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: many tools that are available now to educate yourself and

546
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 2: find a woman that you are inspired or empowered by

547
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: reach out. You will never know a lot of these people.

548
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 2: People reach out to me a lot, and I do

549
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 2: take the time if I can to, I'll reach back out.

550
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 2: And if it's not me reaching out, then I'll say,

551
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,400
Speaker 2: somebody will send me the message and then I will

552
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 2: do my best to do something for that person to

553
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 2: help them or to give them a negative information or

554
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 2: inspiration or this is what I did, or this is

555
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 2: how I overcame that. I know what the struggle is

556
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,440
Speaker 2: like and I've overcome it. I don't know if I've

557
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 2: helped by answering the question the way I did, because

558
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 2: there's not one thing. It's a life. Everything is a process.

559
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 2: For me, it's everyday process. There's some days I don't

560
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 2: feel worried about myself. That's just life.

561
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 1: And I love what you've also said about paying for

562
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: the stories and asking other women because I found when

563
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 1: I was at a crossroad, listening and tapping into the

564
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 1: power of what other people had experienced helped me step

565
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: into my power. Because there's something in this story that

566
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: you can always relate to that triggers you going, I

567
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: can take that step forward.

568
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. So like, look, for instance, your podcast, Okay, I

569
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 2: hope if somebody's just listening to it for the first

570
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 2: time today, go back and listen to the other episodes,

571
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 2: because you have inspiring women, empowered women every single time.

572
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 2: I don't know all of their stories, but I'm sure

573
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 2: one story will resonate with another woman that doesn't resonate

574
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 2: today with a woman. So that's how you do your research.

575
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 2: If you're not willing to work on yourself, then you

576
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 2: shouldn't get the reward.

577
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely right, Absolutely right, Deander, What is your next powerful step?

578
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 2: My next powerful step is deciding whether or not I

579
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 2: want to be a restaurant tour Do you do?

580
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 1: I'm coming to America so that I can eat and

581
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 1: experience all the goodness that you are creating. So I

582
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 1: hope you make that happen.

583
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: And I'm working on a play now. I can't really

584
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 2: I'll tell you. I'll go back and tell you later.

585
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: But it's a very it's a women's it was a

586
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 2: women's it Calm in the nineties, and working with my

587
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 2: acting coach on one of the lead roles, I'm very

588
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,239
Speaker 2: excited about it. So that'll be a fun thing for

589
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 2: me to come up to do in the next probably

590
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 2: a year, because a lot of these theaters are backed

591
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 2: up due to the pandemic.

592
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: Do you know what, I'd love to see a documentary

593
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: on your life with a pay it forward with all

594
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: of these experiences, because there are so many chapters that

595
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 1: will inspire people because you've worn so many masks and

596
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: you've stepped up and conquered each challenge. I think it

597
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 1: would be incredibly inspiring for women to tap into the

598
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 1: power of that.

599
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 2: Well. I appreciate that. I always my husband has a

600
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 2: podcast called Last Letters and as if tomorrow was your

601
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 2: last day, what would your last letter be? And he

602
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: always wants me to come on. I said, well, I

603
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 2: don't have any I haven't done anything with my life yet,

604
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 2: so you read so much. I said, I don't have

605
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 2: anything interesting to talk about her in part, I don't

606
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 2: think my life is that it's not inspiring enough. Yet

607
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 2: he thinks I'm wrong. But I listen to these incredible

608
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 2: stories and I think, how could I even compete with

609
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 2: these people that are on Medal of Honor winners. I mean,

610
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 2: people that have been shot, brought back to life, all

611
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 2: kinds of I mean, you know, just celebrities. It's very

612
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 2: it's scary to listen to it and think, what am

613
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 2: I going to say? Do you know what? I think?

614
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: The power of you is the fact that you show

615
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 1: up and you share, thank you, and you pay.

616
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 2: Forward your knowledge. I appreciate that. Thank you, sir, and

617
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 2: that's a blessing. So thank you for joining us today.

618
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 2: Thank you, Tory, Thank you.

619
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: For being here with me today. I trust that you

620
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 1: enjoyed listening to yet another powerful story. Sometimes we can

621
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: forget just how incredible we are as women and how

622
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: important it is to support each other. I'd love for

623
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: you to take a moment to review the podcast and

624
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 1: help support the show. You can also take a screenshot

625
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: of this episode and share it across your social media

626
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 1: be sure to tag me so that I can give

627
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: you a shout out too. I'm a true believer of

628
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: women supporting women, and I look forward to connecting with

629
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: you again soon. Much love, Tory,