1 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Paul Tayler Podcast. So today there's actually 2 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 1: no Paul. There's just me so referred to by Paul 3 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: as coach Carli. So welcome everybody. So Paul. What happened 4 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,440 Speaker 1: was Paul released our mojo Monday on Saturday. So this 5 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: was a mistake, of course, but so thank you to 6 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: everyone who listened and was probably slightly confused given it 7 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: was Saturday. But we've decided to do another mojo Monday 8 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: and actually release it on Monday. But Paul is away 9 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,200 Speaker 1: in Brisbane doing what he does best, talking as talking 10 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 1: to a corporate group up there, so we thought, rather 11 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: than just leave it, yours truly would do the episode. 12 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: So I want to delve into the power of perspective. 13 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: Taking My daughter Kira once said to me that she'd 14 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 1: often get so frustrated when she was little at my 15 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: response if she was ever having trouble at school with 16 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: her friends, so she'd come home, you know, she'd be 17 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: in the car and maybe she was complaining, and all 18 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 1: she wanted was for me to validate that she was 19 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: right and being hard done by and that they were wrong. 20 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: And rather than doing that, I would try to teach 21 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: her things from their perspective, So maybe they were tired, 22 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: or maybe having problems at home, or maybe they're taught 23 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: different sort of values to us. And now she's eighteen, 24 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: she's actually thanked me as now she does try and 25 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: look at things from the perspective of others rather than 26 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: jumping into sort of a conclusion or taking a righteous 27 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: sort of judgmental stance. And I often refer to and 28 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: I love the metaphor of the camera lens. So if 29 00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: you imagine your mind as a camera lens, and it's 30 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: capable of capturing the world around you. And at times 31 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: this lens may be focused narrowly, sort of limiting your 32 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: view to what's directly in front of you. But what 33 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: if you could actually widen that perspective and go on 34 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: what you shift the lens from a normal lens to panoramic, 35 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, we're seeing things from 36 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: a bigger picture. And you know, it's easy to really 37 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: get caught up in our own perspectives. And I could 38 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: recall many times in my life where I wish I 39 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: had widened my perspective, and because I didn't, there have 40 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: been times where the outcome could have could have probably 41 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: turned out differently, but we're all on this journey and 42 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: I've certainly learned from that and have definitely grown from 43 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: the things that I also regret. You know, we few 44 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,799 Speaker 1: situations through this lens of our own experience and our 45 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 1: own beliefs and biases, and it's good to really recognize that, 46 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,639 Speaker 1: you know, to be aware that, just like a camera lens, 47 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: our perspective can be adjusted. This is where sort of 48 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: psychological flexibility comes in. So if you can consciously practice 49 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: perspective taking, we can expand our view and gain this 50 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: sort of deeper understanding of the people in our lives 51 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: and the world around us. Let's look at a really 52 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: simple example. So imagine you're stuck in traffic and you're 53 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: really frustrated and impatient. If you look at this through 54 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: a narrow lens, all you see other cars ahead of you, 55 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: You see the congestion and the fact that you're going 56 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 1: to be late. This is a major inconvenience to you. 57 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: But what if you zoomed out to panoramic What if 58 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: you see there's an accident that someone's life has suddenly 59 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: been taken, maybe they've been seriously injured. You know, think 60 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: about all the people that this is going to affect. 61 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: So suddenly your perspective shifts. You realize that beyond the 62 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: inconvenience to you, there is another story, a different story 63 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: to the narrow lens viewpoint that you originally thought. And 64 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 1: perspective taking isn't just about seeing things from a different angle. 65 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:31,600 Speaker 1: It's about empathizing with others and understanding their viewpoints. And 66 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 1: I guess this is the thing that I was trying 67 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: to teach my kids when they were little, And it's 68 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: not about whether you agree or disagree with what they're doing. 69 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: It's just about understanding and recognizing that there's more. Often 70 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: there's more to a situation or a person than our 71 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: initial judgment suggests. So this is a skill and we 72 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: can develop this skill in our daily lives. So one 73 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 1: thing that you can do is start by really actively 74 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: listening to others and just try to push your judgment 75 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,039 Speaker 1: aside or try not to focus on your judgments. You know, 76 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: it might come up and you can recognize that and 77 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,239 Speaker 1: go okay, yep, I can I can feel myself judging 78 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 1: this person and then just let it be there while 79 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,919 Speaker 1: you go back and to really listen to them to understand. 80 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: You know, this is about putting yourself in their shoes 81 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: and trying to understand their feelings and their motivations, whether 82 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: you agree with them or not. And it's also about 83 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 1: challenging our own assumptions and our biases, and you've got 84 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,040 Speaker 1: to be aware of those. You've got to be aware 85 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: of your biases obviously first to be able to challenge them, 86 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: and really importantly is approach every situation with an open 87 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 1: mind and a willingness to learn. So to wrap this up, 88 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: I invite you to reflect on your own perspectives. So 89 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: maybe you are going through a challenging situation now, maybe 90 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: it's an argument with a friend or family member, or 91 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,919 Speaker 1: maybe there's a situation that you're really struggling with. Have 92 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 1: a think about how you're viewing the situation. Are you 93 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: viewing this through a narrow lens or are you expanding 94 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: your view through a panoramic lens. And practicing this perspective taking, 95 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: we can really enrich our lives and we can deepen 96 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: our connection with others and ultimately create a more compassionate 97 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: and understanding world. So thank you for listening, and as always, 98 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: if you love the podcast, please leave a review and 99 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 1: consider subscribing so you get updates on the new episodes 100 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: because this helps us grow the podcast and help others 101 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: find it. Hope you have a great week. See you, 102 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: oh boy.