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Speaker 1: Approach production for the record.

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Speaker 2: I'm don't try and make you un comfortable for the record.

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Speaker 2: You ain't trying to grow downy stuff for your fort

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Speaker 2: the record, laugh on me going hard the way way

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Speaker 2: photo record.

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Speaker 3: Ain't trying to link, No trying to waste for the record.

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Speaker 4: For the record, for the for the record, for the

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Speaker 4: rate for the record.

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Speaker 3: Photo record. I don't try and make you uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: That's right.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to part two of my chat with Chris Booth.

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Speaker 1: If you haven't heard part one, hit pause and go back.

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Speaker 1: It's essential listening. In this half, go deeper into the

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Speaker 1: state of crime today, the younger generation, and how Chris

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Speaker 1: is turning his lived experience into real impact. I'd rather

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Speaker 1: be broke, not have to look over my shoulder, be

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Speaker 1: the best father and husband I can be, and be

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Speaker 1: a good human in the community, and then talk myself

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Speaker 1: about how proud I am about committing myself to helping

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Speaker 1: others and making a better option through my own lived

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Speaker 1: experience than flex it on fucking who I thought I

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Speaker 1: was or what I've war stories, walked and done like

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Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. You know, really, there's nothing on

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Speaker 1: it to flex it.

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Speaker 5: Everybody's got a sup for my little girl friend.

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Speaker 6: Everybody's got keys from overseas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got the ninety percent pill, bro, I got

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Speaker 1: the fucking I got the ap and the rollie and

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Speaker 1: let's ulimited, like fucking shut. This is why I laugh

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Speaker 1: at people now, you know, you hear about all this,

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Speaker 1: but they don't realize technology is caught up. Whatever they're

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Speaker 1: sticking in their veins and their nose that I am

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Speaker 1: is about ten percent and the rest of it is

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Speaker 1: cemically fucking shit. You know what, It's been a blessing.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a blessing for our generation that have

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Speaker 1: you know, lived in addiction or enjoyed the coke or

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Speaker 1: enjoyed the echis or whatever it was, because we got

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Speaker 1: to have it for what it was and it was

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Speaker 1: the real deal. So when you look at it today,

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Speaker 1: you go, I wouldn't piss on it alone and take it,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it's it's yeah, but

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Speaker 1: our young and that we need to help and support

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Speaker 1: and educate are caught up in this world. And unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: and I'd like to just touch quickly, I mean, it

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Speaker 1: is your story and this is a little bit left field,

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Speaker 1: but I know you would be having a valid input

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Speaker 1: in this conversation of the type of crime over there

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Speaker 1: at the moment and the type of criminal that now

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Speaker 1: is evolving, you know, Like I read a man got

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Speaker 1: stabbed to death out in front of a harm casino,

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Speaker 1: walked out with a rolex on his hand, just for

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Speaker 1: Isn't it like what the fuck is up with that?

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Speaker 1: Like blatantly middle of the street pumped just.

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Speaker 6: For because there's a different way for drugs coming through

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Speaker 6: now like stuff like that. It might it might not

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Speaker 6: be drug related that crime, but to be fair, when

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Speaker 6: somebody's going to rock up outside the casino and stab

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Speaker 6: someone up for a bloody roll lex, nine times out

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Speaker 6: of ten, that's going to be a joug related crime,

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Speaker 6: you know.

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Speaker 5: But do you know what bothered me about that?

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Speaker 6: Obviously that the gentleman's lost his life, and then these

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Speaker 6: families and all the other chaousts and kinds that comes

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Speaker 6: with that, and they're the horrible stuff.

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Speaker 5: But Ben, I'll be honest with you, I've got a.

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Speaker 6: Couple of watches, a couple of nice watches, and if

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Speaker 6: you look.

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Speaker 1: At him, I had to sell on mind brow to

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Speaker 1: pay my legal costs.

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Speaker 5: If you look at these watches. This is the truth

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Speaker 5: of it.

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Speaker 6: You'll think that they're whatever, I maly tens of thousands,

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Speaker 6: but they're not.

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Speaker 5: But they look the part.

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Speaker 6: So then do you know what I sat there thinking,

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Speaker 6: what about if somebody rocks up.

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Speaker 5: Thinking they're taking a twenty thirty.

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Speaker 6: Grand we're like Roldier for your risks when he's not.

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Speaker 6: It's a hundred, one hundred and fifty pound.

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Speaker 1: There.

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Speaker 6: Society's going to absolutely mad, you know, for people to

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Speaker 6: go out and do that type of stuff.

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Speaker 1: And that's a very good point, brother, that's a very

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Speaker 1: very good things.

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Speaker 5: Those are people out there that they do the same thing.

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Speaker 5: You know, everybody. I don't see the points when money

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Speaker 5: on watch on furst off. I haven't got that.

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Speaker 6: Type of money and I never will have because I'm

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Speaker 6: not involved with that life no more.

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Speaker 1: But imagine if you're I don't know exactly.

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Speaker 6: You decided to splash out with the missus one one weekend.

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Speaker 6: You've saved up for a bit for we're going to

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Speaker 6: go somewhere nice for some food, babe, So you put

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Speaker 6: on your fake fucking bit of time and all the

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Speaker 6: rest of it. Next thing, you're both looking nice because

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Speaker 6: you're you know, you know our women are.

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Speaker 5: We've got a Choppel vehicle.

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Speaker 6: They can look fucking catwalk beautiful for a tanner from Primal,

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Speaker 6: but you'd never tell, do you know.

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Speaker 5: What I mean?

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Speaker 6: So then you go out looking all nice, you come out,

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Speaker 6: you come out of the food place and lecturing someone's

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Speaker 6: walking up on a scooter and wanting to do whatever

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Speaker 6: it's here for this watch on your wrists. That ain't

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Speaker 6: really worth for weeks worthy shopping, do you know what

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Speaker 6: I mean? It's like, it's what's going on, And I

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Speaker 6: think what's going on now is in the Nycities. What's

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Speaker 6: happening is you getting You're getting the gang members and

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Speaker 6: what they're basically doing.

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Speaker 1: Even the armed robberies like the heightst the jewelry heights

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Speaker 1: and stuff. Bro like we okay, and I can speak

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Speaker 1: openly about this because I've been convicted of it and

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Speaker 1: that's that's it. But we back in the day with

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Speaker 1: what they called the original banky boys, So we literally

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Speaker 1: before they put shutters in, would pull up, run in

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Speaker 1: and jump over counter, clean out the drawers and be gone.

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Speaker 1: And we never ever used weapons because there was a

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Speaker 1: charge where if you used obviously a weapon, it would

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Speaker 1: be our robbery, but if we jumped the counter with

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Speaker 1: our weapons, it was demand money with minutes. Yeah basically,

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Speaker 1: So realistically you're looking at a difference of you know,

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Speaker 1: twelve months or eighteen months as opposed to four or

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Speaker 1: five years, and that depending on whether or not you

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Speaker 1: offloaded the trigger or you actually had to use the

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Speaker 1: weapon to get the money. So there was a difference.

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Speaker 1: And you know, like ATMs and ram Ray, we were

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Speaker 1: the original crews of all that sort of stuff and

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Speaker 1: we paid for that deally in time, but we didn't

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Speaker 1: actually physically hurt someone, do you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like we were going and stabbing somebody for

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Speaker 1: a fake rolling or you know, like we were going

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Speaker 1: to literally pull up in a bank, tooled up and

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Speaker 1: start spraying the bankup, or a jewelry heights with machetes

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Speaker 1: where they come in six out, seven out and next

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Speaker 1: minute they're chopping these people to pieces for what a

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Speaker 1: couple hundred k where the jewelry is realistically you're not

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Speaker 1: going to get that's what the retail value are, but

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Speaker 1: that's not what what's what's life worth in England at

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Speaker 1: the moment?

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Speaker 6: Well, but you know what it is it's like when

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Speaker 6: they're going in with the with their machine, you know,

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Speaker 6: with the firearms.

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Speaker 5: Or when they're with the machetes and stuff like that.

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Speaker 5: Then these are people that if they're going to.

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Speaker 6: Get put in a certain situation, then they're gonna they're

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Speaker 6: going to be using that stuff, you know. So what

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Speaker 6: I like, I always used to say to the lads

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Speaker 6: when he used to get up to bits and bobs,

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Speaker 6: to say, if you go in with sort of obviously

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Speaker 6: he's still going to be the same charge. But if

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Speaker 6: you go in with it, and then and then so

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Speaker 6: if you go in and say, if you go in

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Speaker 6: to do a job and you take a side beside

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Speaker 6: a shot or something like that, just make sure that

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Speaker 6: you haven't got the stuff in there, because then if

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Speaker 6: you're not, if you do, you're going to still get

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Speaker 6: a time because it's possession of a firearm. But there's

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Speaker 6: no chance to be letting off. Don't ever ever take

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Speaker 6: any sort of sharp blady then anything like that, because

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Speaker 6: you've got more.

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Speaker 5: Chance of like I just you know, you go in

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Speaker 5: for somewhere and.

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Speaker 6: And before you know, all your vitals are here, before

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Speaker 6: you know that you didn't mean to. It's actually you

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Speaker 6: took someone's life, So what's wrong? We're just like, well,

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Speaker 6: there is something wrong with it. I'm not saying that,

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Speaker 6: But what I'm saying is what's wrong we just work

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Speaker 6: rocking up with some something this heavy. You know, it's

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Speaker 6: just like you got you got less chance of killing

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Speaker 6: someone with a bat than what you have with a

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Speaker 6: knife or god, you know, you got less chance of

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Speaker 6: locking up, like even when it comes down.

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Speaker 5: To the scrapping and all the rest of it.

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Speaker 6: So, yeah, you fell out with someone, that's it, and

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Speaker 6: you just want to take that one little step further

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Speaker 6: than than your hands, then don't don't go get don't

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Speaker 6: go get a strap, don't go get a bloody knife.

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Speaker 5: What's wrong with a pair of brass knuckles and just

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Speaker 5: waking up in.

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Speaker 6: The morning and your eyes all over the place and

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Speaker 6: you might end up with that's.

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Speaker 5: What done my jaw? Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 6: I'd rather wake up with a boss draw in a

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Speaker 6: broken nose and not be able to see you for

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Speaker 6: a few days. Then I've lost five points of blood

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Speaker 6: and I've not got a breath in my body.

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Speaker 5: It's gone crazy.

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Speaker 6: I believe what it is is it's the older generation

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Speaker 6: now making it acceptable to your younger generation, and over

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Speaker 6: over generations and generations and generations, it's getting.

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Speaker 5: Worse and worse and worse and worse. You've got this gang,

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Speaker 5: You've got gang members over here.

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Speaker 6: They're basically they're basically grooming kids, brother, because what they're

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Speaker 6: doing is they're like, rather than they're not sending them

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Speaker 6: out to do sex work and all that type of stuff,

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Speaker 6: which that's badly of that goes on, but they're grooming

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Speaker 6: them to make them think, you know, it's okay to

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Speaker 6: pick up a knife.

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Speaker 5: They're grooming them to telling them that this is the

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Speaker 5: only life to be.

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Speaker 6: I'm basically mind fucking them, you know, and then that

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Speaker 6: gets passed on. And then when they're not doing it,

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Speaker 6: they're terrorizing their families, and they're terrorizing they're there spraying

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Speaker 6: their faces for the bloody paint and cutting their air

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Speaker 6: of the girls and stuff like that.

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Speaker 5: So they're not actually sending.

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Speaker 6: Them on the street to do all sorts of eating

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Speaker 6: your stuff with met but they're still sending them out

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Speaker 6: and fingering them. So to be honest, it's just a

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Speaker 6: society fuck up, brother, That's what it is.

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Speaker 5: And it's allowed to go on.

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Speaker 1: Look and I know the work that you do and

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Speaker 1: want to do, brother, is to really bring awareness to

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Speaker 1: you and prevent these things from happening. And I love

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Speaker 1: it for that, brother, but I can't help but ask

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Speaker 1: you because I know how big and how bad the

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Speaker 1: crime is over there at the moment and we see it.

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Speaker 1: The thing that blows me away is the fact that

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Speaker 1: everyone's so blat and to pull their phone out. Like

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Speaker 1: back in the day, you know what I mean, if

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Speaker 1: someone give you up or wrote a statement, then they're

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Speaker 1: a snitch or a dog, and you've got a witness

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Speaker 1: against it. These days, people are blatantly filming it while

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Speaker 1: they're doing the crome. Next minute they'll turn around and say,

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Speaker 1: oh me, cal we give me up, or some and

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Speaker 1: so giving me up, or he's a snitch, or the yeah,

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Speaker 1: fucking idiot, you walked in there and filmed it, like

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Speaker 1: use your fucking head. What for glorification or what you know?

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Speaker 1: For what Instagram follows for a snapshot?

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Speaker 5: Whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: It's just crazy. And I wonder how men like yourself,

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Speaker 1: who are real men, stand up men that have lived

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Speaker 1: a proper life, that are respected in the community, now

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Speaker 1: connecting with our young people over there to be able

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Speaker 1: to I guess, get into that mindset and showing them

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Speaker 1: that there is a better way and they don't have

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Speaker 1: to go out there and prove and don't have to

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Speaker 1: strap up and run through on these what do they

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Speaker 1: call it drill groups and all this sort of stuff

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Speaker 1: where they're not one out, They can't stand on their

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Speaker 1: own two feet one out and knuckle. Those days are

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Speaker 1: go on. You've got to be prepared that if someone's coming,

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Speaker 1: there's a team coming and they're all armed up, and

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Speaker 1: you just got to be armed up and go on

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Speaker 1: with yourself because if you don't your kid, you're not

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Speaker 1: going to get a fair what I try to.

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Speaker 6: Like, so with a younger generation, we're putting something together

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Speaker 6: at the moment called called street though is there's a

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Speaker 6: few things that's going on. I've always had a passion

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Speaker 6: to help out a younger generation. But the way I

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Speaker 6: see it's like if you've got all the people that

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Speaker 6: are basically you know their hierarchy, telling them is good

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Speaker 6: to live this life and this life will being fresh trainers,

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Speaker 6: this life will being a fresh car, This life will

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Speaker 6: get you up with your super my little girlfriend. This

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Speaker 6: life you'll be stacking money underneath your beds, in with

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Speaker 6: your shoe boxes and all that. Then what I've bring

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Speaker 6: to the table is truth. I'm telling them what the

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Speaker 6: other side of that is, because they don't get told that,

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Speaker 6: you know, they get told about all the glorified and

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Speaker 6: they're going to be celebs in on the man in

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Speaker 6: a sleb on a corner, on a street corner and

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Speaker 6: all that type of stuff, you know, or so they

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Speaker 6: have been their fast food bellefing on a weekend, whether

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Speaker 6: it're all outside. I tried bring some realness to the table,

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Speaker 6: and so well that's not the case. This is what

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Speaker 6: goes on. This is what this decision led to. This

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Speaker 6: is what this two second decision got me four years

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Speaker 6: in jail. And when I was in jail, this is

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Speaker 6: the people I messed. Did I quite in the prison stuf?

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Speaker 6: Yeah I did.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. Did I feel vulnerable in the prison show? Yeah

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Speaker 5: I did. So I'm not saying to him.

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Speaker 6: Oh, when you get there, don't worr him and all

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Speaker 6: your team's are you'd be nice.

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Speaker 5: They don't tell you that the opposition is there as well.

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Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean? You don't tell you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And nine times out of ten you're going to

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Speaker 1: get left on your own, You're going to end up

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Speaker 1: running into somebody or a crew that you ain't got,

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Speaker 1: no one left a right. You're on your own. Oh,

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Speaker 1: your brothers are already robing you, and then they're rooting

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Speaker 1: your missus, trying to fucking tell you that she's cheating

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Speaker 1: on you with somebody else, but it's your best mate

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Speaker 1: that's doing it, and you get out and then you've

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Speaker 1: got nowhere to live because he's sleeping in your bed.

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Speaker 6: So that I think there's two things that except your

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Speaker 6: free and what I know because I've practiced it and

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Speaker 6: I've been there with other people and they've done it,

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Speaker 6: and that is truth and forgiveness, you know. So basically,

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Speaker 6: if you've lid this ship life and like I'm not

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Speaker 6: saying like from the chaos and cartage, there was some

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Speaker 6: good times, but when you got ut the good times

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Speaker 6: and fuck it, the bad times out well a way

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Speaker 6: the good times but one percent. But then everybody just

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Speaker 6: seems to like, let everybody know about the good times.

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Speaker 6: That's not real, you know, bring some realness to the table.

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Speaker 6: Let people know how you felt, Let people know what

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Speaker 6: you know. The money led to the money. He started

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Speaker 6: off with money but then there was a lot of

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Speaker 6: money in it, and we ended up with addiction, and

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Speaker 6: then from addiction, then it broke down family relationships, and

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Speaker 6: there was there was shit going on all over the place.

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Speaker 6: There was fucking loads of victims. And when you've got

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Speaker 6: the awareness, like you said before, like oh could we

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Speaker 6: can't take back what we got up to, But what

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Speaker 6: we can do is have an understanding about it, you know.

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Speaker 6: And you know, for instance, even when say like we

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Speaker 6: used to walk up and we used to think, we

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Speaker 6: know these people are doing this and we're going to

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Speaker 6: go there and leave them or whatever, and then you've

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Speaker 6: got him there for like a I don't know however

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Speaker 6: many hours, and you're doing whatever is happening to try

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Speaker 6: to find certain information out, you know, and then people

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Speaker 6: who still got to go back to their families. Then

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Speaker 6: people are still probably got moms and dads and kids

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Speaker 6: and that. So these people are then gonna have to

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Speaker 6: go see him in the hospital and all that. So

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Speaker 6: rather than glorify it, rather than say that they deserve this,

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Speaker 6: they deserve that. If you've got a younger generation around you,

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Speaker 6: isn't it our job to tell let them know how

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Speaker 6: we felt about that? The truth of it and not

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Speaker 6: the Johnny big spunts are. Yeah, I don't matter about you.

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Speaker 6: He's just another one, another one who kicked him to

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Speaker 6: the curb and all that type of No, man, it's

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Speaker 6: fucking bring some truth to the table.

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Speaker 5: And that's like, I believe that as I may.

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Speaker 6: When I read in scripture, Brent, I know you're I

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Speaker 6: know you're a faith guy as well. So when I

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Speaker 6: heard in scripture like I would turn your sorrows into joy?

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Speaker 5: What's the big mountain down by you? What you got?

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Speaker 5: What's the big mountain?

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Speaker 1: What you got? Uh, we've got a few, but mountain

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Speaker 1: close to you, that.

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Speaker 6: Mountain that is, you said, Yeah, so you're at the

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Speaker 6: top of that mountain morning. Yeah, so you'll be at

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Speaker 6: the top of that mountain. You've got your sorrows on you. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: you roll they're on a toilet, Well you roll them down,

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Speaker 6: they roll that far, they knock on your front door.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm Brent sorrows.

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Speaker 6: I bred sorrows because there's that fucking many of them,

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Speaker 6: you know. But then what what people think is when

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Speaker 6: it says I will turn your sorrows into joy, They're like,

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna get some I'm gonna get some joy out

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Speaker 6: of this. But what happens if you look at it

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Speaker 6: like this, What happens if your sorrows are meant to

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Speaker 6: be other people's joy? And you see, well, I was

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Speaker 6: that meant to be? Then, Chris, Because what happens if

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Speaker 6: you've made a lot of fucking shitty decisions in your

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Speaker 6: life and it's brought a lot of sorrow to your life,

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Speaker 6: and you can be a part of the process of

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Speaker 6: helping people not to make them some mistakes, what does

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Speaker 6: that bring to their life?

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Speaker 5: Joy? And then it was like click click.

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Speaker 6: Click click, And then that's when I just literally literally

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Speaker 6: so I got I've got them all up their right.

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Speaker 5: So I'm what, don't worry, I'm not going to discerning.

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Speaker 6: But yeah, I'd open it and I'd open it and

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Speaker 6: it just it just it would be like life coming

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Speaker 6: at me.

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Speaker 5: So then what what I try?

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Speaker 6: I know, everybody goes and gets a book the Idiot's

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Speaker 6: Guide to This or this transformation book, this transformation book

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Speaker 6: and all that type of stuff. It's already all in here. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: you know people are on about the manifesting thing. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 6: if I want a new I want a new set

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Speaker 6: of clothes. So what I'm going to do when they

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Speaker 6: clear out my wardrobe, then I'm going to imagine all

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Speaker 6: the clothes that i want. Then I'm going to imagine what.

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Speaker 6: Then I'm going to imagine what people are saying. Buck

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Speaker 6: He's in there teen thousand years called I believe Received, Brother,

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Speaker 6: he says it in there.

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Speaker 5: You ask, you believe, you receive. It's just it's just

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Speaker 5: what I was just.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I'm actually You've just put it

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Speaker 1: in perspective, and I've never looked at it. Really, if

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Speaker 1: I could be very honest in that way, if you

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Speaker 1: were to pick up any book of religion, really it

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Speaker 1: all bases around the similar sort of strip scripture and

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Speaker 1: and yes, you know, people have their beliefs and whatever's look,

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Speaker 1: there is one God or God, God Allah or you know,

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Speaker 1: whatever whatever it is. You know, I believe in spiritual

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Speaker 1: and I've done a lot of deep reading and research,

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Speaker 1: most especially in jail. It's it's it's just what you

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Speaker 1: do because there is nothing else to do but to

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Speaker 1: surrender and give your heart to the Lord or to Allah.

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Speaker 5: Or to home.

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Speaker 1: It may be.

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Speaker 5: Really good Muslim.

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Speaker 1: Listen, I'm telling you now, anybody that takes the time

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Speaker 1: out to actually read and understand Quran. It's a beautiful time.

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Speaker 1: It is a beautiful book. And in the Quran it

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Speaker 1: states it's not okay to be violent, It's not okay

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Speaker 1: to it does state to basically stand by your brother

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Speaker 1: or sister of Islam, but basically the same you know,

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Speaker 1: and if you look at I think you know Hinduism

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Speaker 1: and Buddhism, and you know, just the piece within those

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Speaker 1: religions or what you know, let's call them ways of love,

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Speaker 1: because are they really a religion or are they a

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Speaker 1: way of life? You choose to follow a path that

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Speaker 1: allows you to live humbly and peacefully. But the scripture

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Speaker 1: comes from those books that we speak of, are either

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Speaker 1: Bible or the Qoran. You know, there's the relative history

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Speaker 1: of religion. And without going down the rabbit hole, because

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Speaker 1: you know, we could sit here all day and night

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Speaker 1: and everybody's entitled to their own experience and opinions. But

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Speaker 1: I truly do believe be b peace. Faith. Faith. Faith

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Speaker 1: is huge faith.

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Speaker 6: Just in general, even if to say if we say

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Speaker 6: not faith but not in like a godly sense, just

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Speaker 6: faith in itself is a beautiful thing. You wake up

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Speaker 6: in the morning. I'm not saying faith in the law

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Speaker 6: or faith in our faith in any type of religion,

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Speaker 6: but you just wake up in the morning. We just

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Speaker 6: that give faith. You know. That's the faith that can

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Speaker 6: literally it can it can move mountains, it can get

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Speaker 6: you started.

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Speaker 5: You know. Like for instance, this time, when I wracked.

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Speaker 6: Up and I was in general and I just on

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Speaker 6: my last one, I've i think four year, nine month

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Speaker 6: and a few extra days. Yuh So when I got

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Speaker 6: there and COVID happened, so then we're pretty much behind

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Speaker 6: our doors quite a lot.

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Speaker 5: I had faith that when that door opened.

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Speaker 1: I had three months twenty four and one and then

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Speaker 1: you had you had to do fifteen days sigarette just

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Speaker 1: to walk into jail.

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Speaker 6: I had faith that when when this every situation stopped

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Speaker 6: in the system, that I would be coming out of

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Speaker 6: that seally different man. And when I came out of

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Speaker 6: that cell, because of what I was saying earlier about

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Speaker 6: my injuries, I went to jail on aureum off and

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Speaker 6: quite a lot because I've been I've just come out

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Speaker 6: of ICU and I've been in there for four or

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Speaker 6: five days. And then after that, I then got an

436
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,400
Speaker 6: osma morning because of what happened another violent thing. So

437
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:27,441
Speaker 6: I got recalled on my sentence for it.

438
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,801
Speaker 5: So then I had to come off the roam off.

439
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,360
Speaker 6: I got down to about six mil, I think, and

440
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,801
Speaker 6: I said, I said, I'm not coming up for it.

441
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,041
Speaker 6: Now They're like, Chris, you don't understand. It's going to

442
00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:39,921
Speaker 6: be fucking mad. I said, I've got this man, I says,

443
00:20:39,961 --> 00:20:42,281
Speaker 6: I'm coming out of this sell a better person. So

444
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 6: then on my last sentence, what happens was is in

445
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,880
Speaker 6: the first six months, I come off everything. I come

446
00:20:47,921 --> 00:20:51,041
Speaker 6: off my diazy pad to mazzy pa, my pa gabbling,

447
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,561
Speaker 6: my auroam off. So come off from more separately within

448
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,881
Speaker 6: a six month period. So then what I had them

449
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,761
Speaker 6: Brent is of them and nearly two and a half

450
00:20:59,921 --> 00:21:04,120
Speaker 6: years of being clean in jail. Yes, So then rather

451
00:21:04,201 --> 00:21:06,881
Speaker 6: than just getting clean just before you get released and

452
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,361
Speaker 6: everything being a fresh idea, I give myself enough chance

453
00:21:10,761 --> 00:21:14,001
Speaker 6: to be able to formulate and I you know, where

454
00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:16,521
Speaker 6: I wanted to be and what I wanted to do,

455
00:21:16,681 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 6: and you know, and then because I was clean, then

456
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,921
Speaker 6: the real me starting to come back.

457
00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:23,561
Speaker 5: So for instance, all my thoughts and my feelings would have.

458
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,161
Speaker 6: Numbs no more and then I got my head back

459
00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:28,641
Speaker 6: into the book. When I say the book, I'm in

460
00:21:28,801 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 6: the Bible. And then it just all clicked into place.

461
00:21:32,521 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 5: You know.

462
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:38,441
Speaker 6: When I first put my first prayer, Ben was about awareness. Yeah,

463
00:21:38,681 --> 00:21:41,481
Speaker 6: so I said, Lord, I said, help me to keep

464
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:45,761
Speaker 6: understanding how I keep ending up in Satan's playground. You know,

465
00:21:45,801 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 6: earlier we were talking about victims. Yeah, so I know

466
00:21:48,681 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 6: about all that. So then I wasn't ready for what

467
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 6: he sent me to. What he sent me down is

468
00:21:55,321 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 6: give me a fucking massive awareness of all the times

469
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,281
Speaker 6: i'd had my kids sat on a bench saying I'm

470
00:22:00,281 --> 00:22:02,761
Speaker 6: not going back to jail. You give me the times

471
00:22:02,801 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 6: of all the time of all the people that I've

472
00:22:04,561 --> 00:22:06,641
Speaker 6: ripped off in the past, and all that, of all

473
00:22:06,681 --> 00:22:09,641
Speaker 6: the victims, of all the false promises of all that.

474
00:22:10,041 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 6: And it was a dark place, I mean a dark

475
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,681
Speaker 6: place to the point where all sorts of madness happened

476
00:22:15,681 --> 00:22:16,801
Speaker 6: and I didn't want to be around.

477
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,561
Speaker 5: I just thought, wow, man, it's just like I can't believe.

478
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,481
Speaker 6: I was like, oh man, it's just yeah, I know, man,

479
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 6: I just like not literally didn't come down on a

480
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,761
Speaker 6: white fucking cloud of his staff and all that type

481
00:22:27,761 --> 00:22:29,561
Speaker 6: of stuff, but I just near he was talking to me.

482
00:22:29,921 --> 00:22:32,961
Speaker 6: But then it was like then that's when the awareness

483
00:22:32,961 --> 00:22:35,281
Speaker 6: came afterwards, because it says in scripture, we trust you

484
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,441
Speaker 6: the little things. He trust you with a little bit more, Brent,

485
00:22:37,801 --> 00:22:40,441
Speaker 6: So he trust you that little bit, and he asked

486
00:22:40,481 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 6: you to hold that and to gain some awareness. But

487
00:22:43,241 --> 00:22:46,001
Speaker 6: then after he helped me, that's when he helped me

488
00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:49,041
Speaker 6: to understand that the sorrows can get turned into other

489
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,801
Speaker 6: people's joys. And then it came, and then before you

490
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 6: know it, within a week, I was in myself thinking

491
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,801
Speaker 6: about how how much time it took me, you know,

492
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,641
Speaker 6: the minutes in time it took me to actually get

493
00:23:00,681 --> 00:23:04,121
Speaker 6: that much jail. Then I was like, so I need

494
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,281
Speaker 6: to get I need to kids about this when I

495
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,360
Speaker 6: get out of jail. So I said to the big Man,

496
00:23:08,441 --> 00:23:09,561
Speaker 6: I said, this is when I said the big man,

497
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 6: I said, the Lord said, Lord, I said, when you

498
00:23:12,321 --> 00:23:14,441
Speaker 6: release me, if you put me in the best possible

499
00:23:14,481 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 6: position this time, I will go out there and make

500
00:23:16,721 --> 00:23:17,241
Speaker 6: a difference.

501
00:23:17,801 --> 00:23:19,481
Speaker 5: So he put me in a position he said, I

502
00:23:19,521 --> 00:23:20,681
Speaker 5: won't get into it because I'm long.

503
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,481
Speaker 6: Yeah, but you put me in a certain environment where

504
00:23:24,521 --> 00:23:28,121
Speaker 6: everything was accessible. All more good stuff. Then within six

505
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,360
Speaker 6: months I got my talks into the schools about quiring

506
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 6: rehabilitation and punishment and about two second decisions from that.

507
00:23:34,521 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 6: Then I was putting it like at first when I

508
00:23:36,921 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 6: got when I've got out, I was walking up to

509
00:23:38,761 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 6: my local chain stations that getting off for different areas

510
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 6: in tel food. Everyone was like, because I know a

511
00:23:44,041 --> 00:23:47,120
Speaker 6: few people on the manner they're like personal or person

512
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,601
Speaker 6: lord like not taking a piece, but just thinking.

513
00:23:49,281 --> 00:23:51,521
Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, you found guard and all that type of stuff.

514
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,281
Speaker 6: Yeah, it just went along with it, you know, yeah,

515
00:23:54,561 --> 00:23:55,961
Speaker 6: God bless you. And then I had a bit of

516
00:23:55,961 --> 00:23:59,001
Speaker 6: a laugh at them. But then from that then what

517
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 6: happened is I then started doing a few of the

518
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 6: things like in the community helping, like in community projects

519
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 6: stuff like that.

520
00:24:05,721 --> 00:24:06,681
Speaker 5: Then got invited to.

521
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,241
Speaker 6: A table with a men's mental health company and then

522
00:24:09,521 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 6: they absolutely smashed it and they're doing that.

523
00:24:11,721 --> 00:24:13,161
Speaker 5: They're still doing well now.

524
00:24:13,481 --> 00:24:16,801
Speaker 6: But now we've actually got our own men's mental health

525
00:24:16,801 --> 00:24:19,041
Speaker 6: company where we create safe spaces for men.

526
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,201
Speaker 5: And some of the people that I'm to say we've.

527
00:24:22,001 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 6: Got, we don't like they were founders or directors or nothing.

528
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 5: I had.

529
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 6: It's a fucking ego thing. We're all facilitators. We're all

530
00:24:27,961 --> 00:24:30,801
Speaker 6: there for the same reason. It's a community interest company.

531
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,801
Speaker 6: So when I'm sat there now and one of the

532
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,961
Speaker 6: facilitators is a consulting that builds kids children's arms, Yeah,

533
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,161
Speaker 6: from all the kids that have been abused and everything

534
00:24:41,241 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 6: like that.

535
00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:43,801
Speaker 5: Yeah. The other geezer that.

536
00:24:43,721 --> 00:24:46,201
Speaker 6: I sit down with used to be my probation officer

537
00:24:46,481 --> 00:24:49,001
Speaker 6: and used to write my reports before I went to jail.

538
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:52,441
Speaker 6: The other geezer is a preacher. But when I say

539
00:24:52,481 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 6: a preacher, is the type of preacher that I tell

540
00:24:54,241 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 6: you and all that type of stuff.

541
00:24:56,001 --> 00:24:58,801
Speaker 5: She's a real preacher. Yeah, he's a guide.

542
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,001
Speaker 6: Man.

543
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,241
Speaker 1: I heard the the other day. You did a post

544
00:25:01,281 --> 00:25:04,121
Speaker 1: about this. You actually said he'd be the sort of blake. Yeah,

545
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:08,321
Speaker 1: you know, you're a proper prick, ivie'rew. He's a stand

546
00:25:08,321 --> 00:25:11,001
Speaker 1: proper stand up, proper stand up. It's amazing.

547
00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 6: So then for me to then go from the life

548
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,521
Speaker 6: that I was living in the cause that I was causing,

549
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,880
Speaker 6: to then ask the Lord to come into my life,

550
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 6: plain and simple, and then for him to ease the architect,

551
00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 6: and for him to move all the pieces, and for

552
00:25:24,681 --> 00:25:26,641
Speaker 6: me to gain awareness and on standing along the way,

553
00:25:26,681 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 6: and I'll be sat amongst people that are just absolutely

554
00:25:30,001 --> 00:25:33,121
Speaker 6: amazing team of given back as well as we've got

555
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 6: like a couple of business owners that they're in the

556
00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 6: roof and business or this business. We've got a great

557
00:25:37,481 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 6: team there, a great team that is creating spaces for them.

558
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 6: Do you know how much our nice is. We've got

559
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,481
Speaker 6: a few spaces, so like that's yesterday, We're done. It

560
00:25:46,481 --> 00:25:49,121
Speaker 6: would have been Saturday a UK Force and fashion. Then

561
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 6: we've got a talking circle. Then we've got a couple

562
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,521
Speaker 6: where it's not just for the men, but you get there,

563
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,761
Speaker 6: you get their families down, their kids and everything. Brent,

564
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,721
Speaker 6: there's no better feeling, Bobby. Yeah, And I don't care.

565
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 6: Why can I've been a dickhead. I can earn all

566
00:26:02,961 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 6: the cause and cornage I can earn. I can know

567
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 6: them words lovely, beautiful, amazing. You know when someone's wife

568
00:26:11,721 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 6: comes up to you and you're one of them family

569
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,281
Speaker 6: meetups and they go, do you know what my husband

570
00:26:17,321 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 6: come back to the other Saturday? You put all the

571
00:26:19,201 --> 00:26:22,281
Speaker 6: music on, you know what I used to put on?

572
00:26:22,561 --> 00:26:25,321
Speaker 6: All the kids were dancing around in the kitchen. He's

573
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,281
Speaker 6: turning back into them. Man that I fell in love

574
00:26:27,321 --> 00:26:29,801
Speaker 6: with and when you know that you've been a fucking

575
00:26:29,801 --> 00:26:34,441
Speaker 6: part of that process. But it's beautiful and that and

576
00:26:34,481 --> 00:26:35,561
Speaker 6: that's what it's about.

577
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: Brother.

578
00:26:36,321 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 6: But for me to get to that place, for me

579
00:26:39,961 --> 00:26:42,961
Speaker 6: to get to that situation, first of all, I had

580
00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:45,041
Speaker 6: to quite have some bad fruit. Go always say we

581
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,241
Speaker 6: don't produce through chop off and took it in the fire.

582
00:26:47,481 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 6: So I had to do some chopping on my tree.

583
00:26:49,481 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 6: And then I had the white tree. Then from that

584
00:26:53,241 --> 00:26:57,761
Speaker 6: hight tree, then I surround myself with people that is team. Yeah,

585
00:26:58,041 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 6: if you're down there in the trenches, they ain't seeing

586
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 6: you down in the trenches. There's sympathy, there's empathy, there's everything,

587
00:27:03,961 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 6: and they're pulling you up same way like will find life.

588
00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:10,561
Speaker 6: They do all that and then just just to be

589
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,161
Speaker 6: a part of that. It's just like it's mad man.

590
00:27:13,241 --> 00:27:16,801
Speaker 6: It's just like it's literally it's called the breath of life.

591
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 6: It's what it is. So like what I'm big on

592
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 6: is I say to people, and believe me, I fall

593
00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 6: short of this because my words either give life or

594
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:24,721
Speaker 6: they give death.

595
00:27:24,721 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 5: There's no in between. Yeah, because that's all I'm a

596
00:27:27,001 --> 00:27:27,921
Speaker 5: little I am.

597
00:27:27,961 --> 00:27:31,361
Speaker 6: I'm a literal man, like like I can have conversations

598
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 6: in a good lady. You should say one word and

599
00:27:32,961 --> 00:27:34,881
Speaker 6: I'll be literal all over it, you know, and then

600
00:27:34,921 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 6: before you know it.

601
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:36,801
Speaker 5: But I know that, I.

602
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,401
Speaker 6: Know that I have got got It's not about perfection,

603
00:27:39,481 --> 00:27:40,241
Speaker 6: it's about progress.

604
00:27:40,241 --> 00:27:43,561
Speaker 5: I'm working with it. Yeah.

605
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:48,801
Speaker 1: So it's all little steps, brother, It's all little steps.

606
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,721
Speaker 6: If you say, let the words that leave your mouth

607
00:27:51,761 --> 00:27:55,001
Speaker 6: give life and not death. But what creates some words,

608
00:27:55,041 --> 00:27:58,041
Speaker 6: It's the breath that creates some words. So that's why

609
00:27:58,041 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 6: the group's called the t shirts are there and about you.

610
00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:03,201
Speaker 6: And but that's why the group's called the Breath of Life,

611
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,441
Speaker 6: you know, because that's what we want you to walk

612
00:28:05,481 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 6: through your front door with, after you come to our events,

613
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 6: after you come to our safe spaces. We want you

614
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:13,681
Speaker 6: to be a breath of life when you walk into

615
00:28:13,681 --> 00:28:16,281
Speaker 6: your workspace, when you walk into your gym, when you

616
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 6: walk into your.

617
00:28:17,441 --> 00:28:18,561
Speaker 5: Your family house.

618
00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:21,761
Speaker 6: You know, you know how it is, as blokes man,

619
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,321
Speaker 6: what we do, Brent, Like, you go play rugby, you

620
00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:27,441
Speaker 6: go to the gym, you go to work, you make

621
00:28:27,481 --> 00:28:30,761
Speaker 6: sense to your See yeah man, I'm fucking I'm sound sound.

622
00:28:31,961 --> 00:28:34,481
Speaker 6: Someone else is saying to you said, yeah, Sam, The

623
00:28:34,561 --> 00:28:36,241
Speaker 6: truth of it is, we've got a bit of shit

624
00:28:36,281 --> 00:28:37,961
Speaker 6: on our back. We just don't want to talk about

625
00:28:38,001 --> 00:28:40,361
Speaker 6: it because that's what's been passed down to us, our

626
00:28:40,401 --> 00:28:43,241
Speaker 6: granddad's ways, thinking that a brui is going to help,

627
00:28:43,681 --> 00:28:46,041
Speaker 6: and bloody a bruise going to help in a bit

628
00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 6: of fresh air, No man, the superpower of today is

629
00:28:49,521 --> 00:28:53,001
Speaker 6: our thoughts and our feelings. That is a superpower when

630
00:28:53,041 --> 00:28:55,721
Speaker 6: you can open up and have and you can't take

631
00:28:55,721 --> 00:28:57,601
Speaker 6: your forts and feelings to the wrong table because what

632
00:28:57,601 --> 00:28:59,641
Speaker 6: it does it comes back is bitterness or it.

633
00:28:59,601 --> 00:29:01,561
Speaker 5: Comes back to some sort of it's in a black

634
00:29:01,641 --> 00:29:03,401
Speaker 5: mouth older someone. Do you know what I mean?

635
00:29:03,721 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 6: You can't do that, and that's what that's how we

636
00:29:06,321 --> 00:29:06,841
Speaker 6: try to do it.

637
00:29:06,961 --> 00:29:08,241
Speaker 5: Yeah, you got to bring.

638
00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:13,801
Speaker 1: It to Yeah, well said the vulnerability. This is the

639
00:29:13,841 --> 00:29:17,361
Speaker 1: hardest thing is for us as and I speak men

640
00:29:17,401 --> 00:29:19,521
Speaker 1: and women because there's a lot of broken women as well,

641
00:29:19,561 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: but we as talking as men, and you know, I

642
00:29:23,481 --> 00:29:28,321
Speaker 1: feel that vulnerability is something that look as I say

643
00:29:28,361 --> 00:29:31,001
Speaker 1: to people, you know, like my phone doesn't ring. You know,

644
00:29:31,041 --> 00:29:34,681
Speaker 1: I went from living you know, a bikey life, gang life,

645
00:29:34,721 --> 00:29:36,841
Speaker 1: you know, the phone three four phone sitting on the

646
00:29:36,881 --> 00:29:40,161
Speaker 1: table NonStop ringing here there. I'm on a plane tonight

647
00:29:40,201 --> 00:29:43,641
Speaker 1: going overseas. I'm in another state. Like in the last

648
00:29:43,681 --> 00:29:46,401
Speaker 1: ten years, I don't know the last time I can say,

649
00:29:46,601 --> 00:29:48,881
Speaker 1: unless it's been work related on my kids, that my

650
00:29:48,961 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: phone's rung from a buddy saying hey, I'm proud of you,

651
00:29:52,281 --> 00:29:54,761
Speaker 1: or you know, let's catch up for a meal, or

652
00:29:55,241 --> 00:29:56,881
Speaker 1: or what are you doing? You know, like we want

653
00:29:56,881 --> 00:29:59,041
Speaker 1: to get trained together. I don't train with anyone. I

654
00:29:59,081 --> 00:30:01,281
Speaker 1: don't do shit. Everything I do is with my children

655
00:30:01,401 --> 00:30:06,081
Speaker 1: or on my own. Now, being vulnerable, I think scared

656
00:30:06,121 --> 00:30:09,001
Speaker 1: a lot of people off because they knew this person,

657
00:30:09,561 --> 00:30:13,281
Speaker 1: and this person was somebody whom well, look, let's just

658
00:30:13,281 --> 00:30:15,681
Speaker 1: be frank and be honest. We can still be who

659
00:30:15,721 --> 00:30:18,641
Speaker 1: we need to be today. Yeah, we can still be

660
00:30:18,921 --> 00:30:21,401
Speaker 1: the man we have to be today. We choose to

661
00:30:21,441 --> 00:30:24,641
Speaker 1: be better men. We choose not to be violent, we

662
00:30:24,761 --> 00:30:28,721
Speaker 1: choose not to be be destructive. We choose to walk

663
00:30:28,761 --> 00:30:32,081
Speaker 1: away and wear it on the chin as much as

664
00:30:32,081 --> 00:30:34,081
Speaker 1: it sometimes hurts, and you want to just go, hey,

665
00:30:34,121 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: fuck you, what you've really got to just you know,

666
00:30:38,121 --> 00:30:41,161
Speaker 1: but that then makes us vulnerable. Now. The thing is,

667
00:30:41,201 --> 00:30:44,121
Speaker 1: like you said, you've got to be able to be

668
00:30:44,241 --> 00:30:48,761
Speaker 1: comfortable at the right table for me. Look, I'd like

669
00:30:48,801 --> 00:30:50,641
Speaker 1: to be able to find that table. I still haven't

670
00:30:50,681 --> 00:30:52,841
Speaker 1: found that table, and one day I may will find

671
00:30:52,841 --> 00:30:55,681
Speaker 1: that table. But moments like this and networking, connecting with

672
00:30:55,761 --> 00:30:58,121
Speaker 1: brothers like yourself, we don't have to be in the

673
00:30:58,161 --> 00:31:01,081
Speaker 1: same house to be sitting at the same table. And

674
00:31:01,121 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful thing. And I am so blessed and

675
00:31:04,001 --> 00:31:06,921
Speaker 1: grateful for that, and I think everybody needs to understand

676
00:31:06,961 --> 00:31:10,041
Speaker 1: that you don't need to have that as beautiful as

677
00:31:10,041 --> 00:31:14,841
Speaker 1: it feels like that that next to you physically to

678
00:31:14,921 --> 00:31:17,321
Speaker 1: move forward or to feel good, you can you can

679
00:31:17,441 --> 00:31:24,641
Speaker 1: open up vulnerably, be vulnerable from a distance. Yeah, you know.

680
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:29,641
Speaker 1: So it's about, though, finding that inner strength and believing

681
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,401
Speaker 1: and having faith that you can walk on your own

682
00:31:33,041 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: And you don't need that phone, you don't need that

683
00:31:35,801 --> 00:31:39,281
Speaker 1: social media, and you don't need the approval of anybody else.

684
00:31:39,961 --> 00:31:42,321
Speaker 1: All you need to do is believe in you and

685
00:31:42,361 --> 00:31:45,321
Speaker 1: believe in there is a greater and higher power that

686
00:31:45,361 --> 00:31:48,521
Speaker 1: we need to just put all our faith into and

687
00:31:48,641 --> 00:31:51,081
Speaker 1: allow our path to be there for us to walk.

688
00:31:51,321 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: It's not a fucking easy path and you are going

689
00:31:53,561 --> 00:31:55,721
Speaker 1: to trip over and it will hurt you at times,

690
00:31:55,921 --> 00:31:57,761
Speaker 1: and you're going to get up and question it. You're

691
00:31:57,761 --> 00:32:00,401
Speaker 1: going to ask why why am he God? Why why

692
00:32:00,441 --> 00:32:03,321
Speaker 1: am I here? Why it's going to happen? Like that's

693
00:32:03,361 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 1: not bullshit? You know, this is act. But if you

694
00:32:07,601 --> 00:32:13,081
Speaker 1: can have faith and self belief and truly just focus

695
00:32:13,161 --> 00:32:16,681
Speaker 1: on your journey and be kind, compassionate and caring along

696
00:32:16,681 --> 00:32:18,601
Speaker 1: the way, life can be beautiful.

697
00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:20,201
Speaker 5: It can as well.

698
00:32:20,401 --> 00:32:22,521
Speaker 6: I totally relate to what you just said there, Ben,

699
00:32:22,641 --> 00:32:25,321
Speaker 6: you know, like Queen said, we can be that person.

700
00:32:25,481 --> 00:32:26,761
Speaker 5: So it's like what.

701
00:32:26,801 --> 00:32:29,681
Speaker 6: I say, turnament with well, what the ways that come

702
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,401
Speaker 6: out of my mouth is turnament to dust?

703
00:32:31,521 --> 00:32:34,561
Speaker 5: It's like that's light work. You know. If that needs

704
00:32:34,601 --> 00:32:37,041
Speaker 5: to happen, then that you can go do that.

705
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:39,921
Speaker 6: But can you actually sit down with someone you know

706
00:32:40,561 --> 00:32:42,641
Speaker 6: and just say, do you know what I'm struggling today?

707
00:32:42,721 --> 00:32:45,641
Speaker 6: This is what's going on in line? There's the fucking power.

708
00:32:45,961 --> 00:32:48,641
Speaker 6: That's the hard thing to do. That's a strong thing

709
00:32:48,721 --> 00:32:51,521
Speaker 6: to do, to actually say, but it doesn't have to.

710
00:32:51,961 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 6: We I touch quite a lot of means. It's Amend's

711
00:32:54,521 --> 00:32:57,881
Speaker 6: mental health group. But if the man is suffering, there

712
00:32:57,881 --> 00:33:00,081
Speaker 6: were more than aware that there's there's a woman and

713
00:33:00,241 --> 00:33:04,081
Speaker 6: morea daughter or whatever suffering somewhere as well, because they're

714
00:33:04,081 --> 00:33:06,401
Speaker 6: going through it as as a role.

715
00:33:07,241 --> 00:33:07,521
Speaker 4: You know.

716
00:33:07,881 --> 00:33:10,761
Speaker 5: So even you just got to make sure that people

717
00:33:10,801 --> 00:33:11,161
Speaker 5: are just.

718
00:33:11,161 --> 00:33:14,561
Speaker 6: Out there have got they've got to have that person

719
00:33:14,641 --> 00:33:17,881
Speaker 6: to talk to, because going into your own head sometimes

720
00:33:17,881 --> 00:33:20,801
Speaker 6: by yourself, is a fucking mindfield and it's just like

721
00:33:20,841 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 6: you're chucking your aides in your own head. You know,

722
00:33:23,841 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 6: you have to have that one person. It doesn't have

723
00:33:25,801 --> 00:33:27,601
Speaker 6: to be a man, it doesn't you know, it can

724
00:33:27,841 --> 00:33:31,401
Speaker 6: just be someone that that you trust. But people don't

725
00:33:31,481 --> 00:33:34,921
Speaker 6: like being vulnerable like that, especially if you're from life

726
00:33:35,521 --> 00:33:39,401
Speaker 6: and you've been like in this system and got this

727
00:33:39,761 --> 00:33:42,521
Speaker 6: facade about us and you know, and we're meant to

728
00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:43,001
Speaker 6: be this way.

729
00:33:43,081 --> 00:33:45,441
Speaker 1: Mental, well, you all of a sudden you come weak.

730
00:33:45,601 --> 00:33:47,561
Speaker 1: You're a week, You're a week. And as you know,

731
00:33:47,721 --> 00:33:51,521
Speaker 1: vulnerability in jail or in that that world that we've

732
00:33:51,561 --> 00:33:55,121
Speaker 1: both lived is the out of warm you know what

733
00:33:55,121 --> 00:33:57,361
Speaker 1: I mean, in the out of wars to pull the threads,

734
00:33:57,841 --> 00:34:00,241
Speaker 1: find the thread and pull the thread and the clothing

735
00:34:00,281 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 1: will fall apart. So okay, I'm sitting here, you're sitting here,

736
00:34:04,321 --> 00:34:08,601
Speaker 1: and where up ourselves to our deepest and darkest vulnerabilities,

737
00:34:08,841 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: which is also giving somebody else m o that we

738
00:34:12,081 --> 00:34:15,401
Speaker 1: may have who knows what in the past, or you know,

739
00:34:15,441 --> 00:34:17,641
Speaker 1: they may be bitter and want to come, and all

740
00:34:17,641 --> 00:34:19,601
Speaker 1: of a sudden they start to see holes in the

741
00:34:19,681 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 1: threads and the holes get bigger and bigger. Next minute

742
00:34:22,521 --> 00:34:25,041
Speaker 1: they step into that, They're in your space, They're in

743
00:34:25,081 --> 00:34:28,641
Speaker 1: that realm, They're in that area of your vulnerability. So

744
00:34:29,921 --> 00:34:33,761
Speaker 1: it can be very, very testing at times. And hence

745
00:34:33,801 --> 00:34:37,321
Speaker 1: why I say never take the kindness as a weakness,

746
00:34:37,361 --> 00:34:40,121
Speaker 1: because we can always be who we have to be.

747
00:34:40,721 --> 00:34:43,761
Speaker 1: We know the men that we can be. We choose

748
00:34:43,881 --> 00:34:47,281
Speaker 1: to be better, and I think that is the best

749
00:34:47,321 --> 00:34:51,201
Speaker 1: way I look at We make that choice. Don't underestimate us,

750
00:34:52,121 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 1: but we make a choice to be kind, caring, compassionate

751
00:34:55,881 --> 00:34:59,321
Speaker 1: and wanting to give and help. And you know what, brother,

752
00:34:59,441 --> 00:35:01,521
Speaker 1: I love what you're doing. I love what you're staying

753
00:35:01,561 --> 00:35:08,041
Speaker 1: for I'm truly blessed and grateful. And you know, I

754
00:35:08,081 --> 00:35:10,841
Speaker 1: ask of all my guests, and I will start to

755
00:35:10,841 --> 00:35:12,681
Speaker 1: bring it to a little bit of a close, because

756
00:35:13,041 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 1: it's we could sit here all day, but I ask

757
00:35:15,521 --> 00:35:18,081
Speaker 1: all my guests to leave two tools in the toolbox

758
00:35:18,121 --> 00:35:21,561
Speaker 1: as we call it. You know, for you, what are

759
00:35:21,601 --> 00:35:24,601
Speaker 1: two really special tools that you'd pass on to somebody

760
00:35:24,601 --> 00:35:28,561
Speaker 1: else out there that really wants to I guess in

761
00:35:28,601 --> 00:35:31,681
Speaker 1: your case find that in a strength to be vulnerable,

762
00:35:31,761 --> 00:35:35,921
Speaker 1: one that the shame doesn't come attached when the fear

763
00:35:36,001 --> 00:35:38,401
Speaker 1: of being lonely and people turning their backs on you.

764
00:35:39,241 --> 00:35:42,281
Speaker 1: What advice would you give to someone around that? And secondly,

765
00:35:42,841 --> 00:35:46,921
Speaker 1: a man whom has obviously lived in addiction, giving into

766
00:35:46,961 --> 00:35:50,401
Speaker 1: the devil and falling into the you know, the relapse

767
00:35:50,561 --> 00:35:53,001
Speaker 1: as it's commonly known, and we all do it. It's

768
00:35:53,121 --> 00:35:57,641
Speaker 1: just that's life. What would you give as two tools

769
00:35:57,681 --> 00:35:58,561
Speaker 1: in those spaces?

770
00:35:59,001 --> 00:36:02,921
Speaker 6: Well, so the second one was about the eviction, and

771
00:36:03,201 --> 00:36:06,361
Speaker 6: that's all if you keep forwarding by into the relapse

772
00:36:06,441 --> 00:36:09,641
Speaker 6: and somehow just keep going back to you to your poison.

773
00:36:10,281 --> 00:36:13,601
Speaker 6: So what I would say that is like on forty

774
00:36:13,641 --> 00:36:18,281
Speaker 6: five and I had addiction from fifteen, you know, not

775
00:36:18,641 --> 00:36:21,801
Speaker 6: it started off with cannabis obviously, but from fifteen right

776
00:36:21,841 --> 00:36:22,401
Speaker 6: the way through.

777
00:36:23,241 --> 00:36:26,401
Speaker 5: So just now that you just have to just keep

778
00:36:26,721 --> 00:36:27,161
Speaker 5: just you have.

779
00:36:27,161 --> 00:36:31,001
Speaker 6: To keep trying, never stop trying, you know, don't everybody

780
00:36:31,041 --> 00:36:34,641
Speaker 6: everybody says, oh, I've been that a thousand days sober,

781
00:36:35,161 --> 00:36:37,201
Speaker 6: the truth of it is a day sobers just as

782
00:36:37,281 --> 00:36:38,841
Speaker 6: powerful as a thousand days.

783
00:36:39,201 --> 00:36:39,681
Speaker 5: You can do it.

784
00:36:39,761 --> 00:36:43,641
Speaker 6: Then, to just remember it's it's not about it's not

785
00:36:43,721 --> 00:36:44,801
Speaker 6: about the numbers.

786
00:36:44,841 --> 00:36:46,681
Speaker 5: It's about it's about.

787
00:36:46,401 --> 00:36:49,521
Speaker 6: The faith that you've got inside you and the belief

788
00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:53,601
Speaker 6: and every single time that you try, it's another time

789
00:36:53,601 --> 00:36:56,521
Speaker 6: that you can try again. Basically, don't fucking give up.

790
00:36:56,561 --> 00:37:00,761
Speaker 6: We don't give up because it happens. If someone like

791
00:37:00,841 --> 00:37:04,321
Speaker 6: myself can live that life and become clean and now

792
00:37:04,441 --> 00:37:08,681
Speaker 6: actually my life being clean, then you can do it.

793
00:37:08,881 --> 00:37:11,401
Speaker 5: So and what was the first one? Because that was

794
00:37:11,481 --> 00:37:12,241
Speaker 5: that makes me think?

795
00:37:12,321 --> 00:37:14,681
Speaker 6: That second Quesson makes me think because he's a dism

796
00:37:14,721 --> 00:37:15,641
Speaker 6: passionate about.

797
00:37:16,081 --> 00:37:19,041
Speaker 1: No too ye, And thank you very much for answering

798
00:37:19,081 --> 00:37:21,521
Speaker 1: that with such once again vulnerability and that was the

799
00:37:21,561 --> 00:37:25,441
Speaker 1: first question. Now, someone that wants to be vulnerableppens.

800
00:37:24,841 --> 00:37:26,001
Speaker 5: When I leave these podcasts.

801
00:37:26,081 --> 00:37:30,481
Speaker 6: Yeah, I always right, So look after I spoke to James,

802
00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,921
Speaker 6: he's an amazing guy, and give me some advice about

803
00:37:32,961 --> 00:37:34,881
Speaker 6: the trials and all that type stuff in about the way.

804
00:37:35,361 --> 00:37:36,561
Speaker 5: It's just an amazing guy.

805
00:37:36,641 --> 00:37:39,761
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I always we when we go, I'll be

806
00:37:39,801 --> 00:37:43,041
Speaker 6: out of my dag and I'll be thinking it was

807
00:37:43,201 --> 00:37:46,521
Speaker 6: too vulnerable? Did I say too much? Because I'm just

808
00:37:46,721 --> 00:37:49,321
Speaker 6: like that. I'm a deep thinker, you know. Then I

809
00:37:49,401 --> 00:37:52,761
Speaker 6: was thinking, oh, I'll just questioned everything. You know, I'll

810
00:37:52,761 --> 00:37:54,041
Speaker 6: turn into a police officer.

811
00:37:54,641 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: Well, let me just reassure you on this. I am

812
00:37:58,201 --> 00:38:00,241
Speaker 1: a bit of a veteran at this now and being

813
00:38:00,281 --> 00:38:03,121
Speaker 1: around a long time, and I guess if I can

814
00:38:03,161 --> 00:38:06,241
Speaker 1: put it this way, I never ever put anybody into

815
00:38:06,241 --> 00:38:09,601
Speaker 1: a position where they feel that they're either vulnerable for

816
00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:13,921
Speaker 1: anything they've said or anything to come back and bite

817
00:38:13,961 --> 00:38:17,041
Speaker 1: them in the ass. Because we still have to live

818
00:38:17,081 --> 00:38:19,321
Speaker 1: a certain way. We still need to remember where we

819
00:38:19,401 --> 00:38:22,881
Speaker 1: come from, and not everybody sees things today the way

820
00:38:22,921 --> 00:38:26,321
Speaker 1: that we do and live the way we in a

821
00:38:26,321 --> 00:38:29,441
Speaker 1: better way and through better choices. So it is a

822
00:38:29,561 --> 00:38:33,801
Speaker 1: very much a realization. Look, I'm the same I've done podcasts.

823
00:38:33,841 --> 00:38:36,521
Speaker 1: I won't do generally podcasts anymore with anyone because I've

824
00:38:36,521 --> 00:38:38,521
Speaker 1: done so many of them, and I feel the same.

825
00:38:38,561 --> 00:38:40,601
Speaker 1: Every time I walk away, I go how people got

826
00:38:40,601 --> 00:38:44,201
Speaker 1: to take that? I know what I didn't say, I

827
00:38:44,281 --> 00:38:48,121
Speaker 1: know what I didn't do, but sometimes people take it

828
00:38:48,161 --> 00:38:51,481
Speaker 1: out of context. The next minute, Oh, you've said you No,

829
00:38:51,521 --> 00:38:53,321
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't speak about it. I have never

830
00:38:53,361 --> 00:38:57,481
Speaker 1: said I never mentioned no name. I've spoken about factual times,

831
00:38:57,561 --> 00:39:00,761
Speaker 1: places or anything like that, and I never will. It's

832
00:39:00,841 --> 00:39:03,641
Speaker 1: not in me, you know. But my question was, and

833
00:39:04,401 --> 00:39:08,241
Speaker 1: I think is really important, is how does somebody feel

834
00:39:08,521 --> 00:39:12,921
Speaker 1: exactly like we're just talking now, comfortable being vulnerable and

835
00:39:12,961 --> 00:39:17,801
Speaker 1: not happening to worry about what others may perceive or think.

836
00:39:17,841 --> 00:39:21,441
Speaker 5: All right, So got the answer that I've got that

837
00:39:21,601 --> 00:39:22,281
Speaker 5: is ownership.

838
00:39:23,121 --> 00:39:26,481
Speaker 6: Right, So what you have to do is basically, if

839
00:39:26,521 --> 00:39:29,081
Speaker 6: you're going to be vulnerable and say it says. For me,

840
00:39:29,241 --> 00:39:33,481
Speaker 6: my vulnerabilities came from basically the ship stuff that I've

841
00:39:33,521 --> 00:39:34,601
Speaker 6: been up to in life.

842
00:39:35,201 --> 00:39:36,161
Speaker 5: I had to be one.

843
00:39:36,481 --> 00:39:39,281
Speaker 6: I had to one hundred percent own that, you know,

844
00:39:39,401 --> 00:39:43,801
Speaker 6: just to sit down, feel it tasted, smell it, remind

845
00:39:43,801 --> 00:39:47,521
Speaker 6: myself of it, because then I own that. Because then

846
00:39:47,561 --> 00:39:50,161
Speaker 6: if I fully own that, it's not for you to

847
00:39:50,281 --> 00:39:52,921
Speaker 6: own it. So then if you come to me and

848
00:39:53,081 --> 00:39:56,561
Speaker 6: you go, oh, yeah, well this happened, and that happened,

849
00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:58,521
Speaker 6: and you did this, and you did that, and you know,

850
00:39:58,601 --> 00:39:59,641
Speaker 6: everybody remembers are bad.

851
00:39:59,681 --> 00:40:01,881
Speaker 5: Things that I remembers are good. It's just the way life is.

852
00:40:02,241 --> 00:40:04,761
Speaker 6: But if you fully own it, it's not for them

853
00:40:04,761 --> 00:40:06,441
Speaker 6: to put it in their back pocket and take it

854
00:40:06,481 --> 00:40:08,841
Speaker 6: somewhere else and have their fite piece worth or their

855
00:40:08,881 --> 00:40:11,401
Speaker 6: whatever is worth, their dollars worth, you know, and it's

856
00:40:11,401 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 6: not it's not about that.

857
00:40:12,721 --> 00:40:14,681
Speaker 5: You've completely owned that. That's your ship.

858
00:40:14,841 --> 00:40:18,361
Speaker 6: You own it, and just basically it doesn't open the

859
00:40:18,401 --> 00:40:19,761
Speaker 6: door for anybody else to own it.

860
00:40:20,001 --> 00:40:23,641
Speaker 5: There are there are sorrows, you know, or anything like that.

861
00:40:23,721 --> 00:40:27,001
Speaker 5: This is our badness that we created. So own it.

862
00:40:27,281 --> 00:40:29,041
Speaker 5: And then but that's a process.

863
00:40:29,121 --> 00:40:29,321
Speaker 1: You know.

864
00:40:29,601 --> 00:40:31,961
Speaker 5: The first time someone.

865
00:40:31,681 --> 00:40:34,841
Speaker 6: Comes and goes and go, yeah, well I've got that,

866
00:40:35,081 --> 00:40:38,281
Speaker 6: and like, yeah, I spoke about that, and it hurts

867
00:40:38,281 --> 00:40:41,601
Speaker 6: a little bit, and then the second time it like

868
00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:43,161
Speaker 6: a little bit less.

869
00:40:43,201 --> 00:40:45,801
Speaker 5: This is like it's like a process thing. It's like, for.

870
00:40:45,721 --> 00:40:48,041
Speaker 6: Instance, when you get the same sort of on the

871
00:40:48,081 --> 00:40:50,561
Speaker 6: same ballpark, when you get cleaned from drugs.

872
00:40:50,921 --> 00:40:52,841
Speaker 5: The first time someone says.

873
00:40:53,241 --> 00:40:56,081
Speaker 6: Fancy going through a smoke and you go, oh more,

874
00:40:56,321 --> 00:40:59,081
Speaker 6: you know, this is bit hard, But after you said

875
00:40:59,121 --> 00:41:01,081
Speaker 6: that fifty times, you just go, now, I'm all right, man,

876
00:41:01,201 --> 00:41:01,921
Speaker 6: go and do whatever.

877
00:41:02,241 --> 00:41:05,681
Speaker 5: Just becomes habit. Ownership is key. Ship is key.

878
00:41:06,441 --> 00:41:10,521
Speaker 1: Chris Booth, thank you. I truly appreciate you. Brother. We

879
00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:13,161
Speaker 1: truly have a friendship that will grow and blossom for

880
00:41:13,201 --> 00:41:17,961
Speaker 1: many years to come. We will be in contact and look, mate, brother,

881
00:41:18,161 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: just keep on that path. You're doing great things and

882
00:41:21,161 --> 00:41:25,601
Speaker 1: your experience and life is so valuable to so many others.

883
00:41:25,641 --> 00:41:27,201
Speaker 1: And there's going to be many out there that don't

884
00:41:27,241 --> 00:41:29,761
Speaker 1: even realize it yet how much you're going to bring

885
00:41:29,801 --> 00:41:33,121
Speaker 1: to their life. Have that faith, keep that belief, and

886
00:41:33,201 --> 00:41:37,001
Speaker 1: just keep pushing forward and keep putting up those amazing posts.

887
00:41:37,081 --> 00:41:39,281
Speaker 1: And for everybody out there, tell them where they can

888
00:41:39,321 --> 00:41:40,281
Speaker 1: go across and see you.

889
00:41:40,601 --> 00:41:42,601
Speaker 5: That will be Knowldgugement hate you Wine.

890
00:41:42,921 --> 00:41:44,761
Speaker 6: If he wants her in Israel, he wants her in

891
00:41:44,801 --> 00:41:47,921
Speaker 6: this war, and you want to sit down and maybe

892
00:41:47,961 --> 00:41:52,201
Speaker 6: have some judgment for them to be no judgement, get involved, Bran.

893
00:41:52,681 --> 00:41:54,841
Speaker 1: There we have a guys, Chris Booth, all the way

894
00:41:54,841 --> 00:41:57,161
Speaker 1: from the UK, a real man with a real story

895
00:41:57,201 --> 00:42:01,161
Speaker 1: and definitely lived experience. Season eighteen, as I said, is

896
00:42:01,321 --> 00:42:04,401
Speaker 1: just absolutely going off and the numbers don't lie. And

897
00:42:04,441 --> 00:42:06,881
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, I've got to say that

898
00:42:07,401 --> 00:42:09,841
Speaker 1: it's only because of you, the listener, And thank you

899
00:42:09,961 --> 00:42:13,281
Speaker 1: so much. I hope that you've enjoyed this. Stay tuned

900
00:42:13,321 --> 00:42:15,761
Speaker 1: for the next week's episode as well. I won't tell

901
00:42:15,761 --> 00:42:18,361
Speaker 1: you much more at the moment. Chris, thank you for

902
00:42:18,441 --> 00:42:21,601
Speaker 1: your time and for everybody out there. Stay blessed and

903
00:42:21,641 --> 00:42:24,761
Speaker 1: remember be the best you can be, even if it's

904
00:42:24,761 --> 00:42:28,721
Speaker 1: one percent. Just be that best for the record.

905
00:42:28,881 --> 00:42:32,121
Speaker 2: Don't try and make you uncomfortable for the record. You

906
00:42:32,161 --> 00:42:34,841
Speaker 2: won't try a world and stuff for your for the

907
00:42:34,961 --> 00:42:38,561
Speaker 2: record lab on me going all the work for the record.

908
00:42:38,681 --> 00:42:41,521
Speaker 3: Ain't trying link, not trying to watt for the.

909
00:42:41,481 --> 00:42:48,361
Speaker 4: Regged for the record, for the record, for the recon

910
00:42:49,401 --> 00:42:51,641
Speaker 4: for the record, for the regged