1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. 2 00:00:10,961 --> 00:00:14,041 Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:16,881 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment. 4 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 3: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most 5 00:00:19,241 --> 00:00:20,841 Speaker 3: authentic version of yourself. 6 00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 7 00:00:23,361 --> 00:00:26,281 Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 8 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,841 Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about. 9 00:00:28,441 --> 00:00:31,121 Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self. 10 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:36,601 Speaker 4: Hello everybody, I'm scared. Welcome back to She Rises. 11 00:00:36,681 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 2: We've got Tiana Ashy and our producer Katie. 12 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,881 Speaker 1: It's Tiana that should be scared today. 13 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:42,841 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. 14 00:00:42,961 --> 00:00:45,481 Speaker 2: I am a little scared. You guys know, when Katie 15 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:50,561 Speaker 2: steps into the studio, it's a mystery episode wow, which 16 00:00:50,601 --> 00:00:52,681 Speaker 2: means we have no idea what she's gonna ask us, 17 00:00:52,681 --> 00:00:56,401 Speaker 2: And it's always juicy, very nosy questions about us. But 18 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 2: she kind of like puts herself in all of your 19 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,561 Speaker 2: guys shoes and thinks about the questions that she thinks 20 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 2: you guys want to know. So they're juicy, Yeah, they're dramatic, 21 00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:04,681 Speaker 2: they're deep. 22 00:01:05,641 --> 00:01:09,001 Speaker 1: I'll start off fairly tame. I'll lull you into a 23 00:01:09,041 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: full sense of security. Now, okay, So question number one 24 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,361 Speaker 1: for you, Tiana, is what is something about you that 25 00:01:17,441 --> 00:01:18,681 Speaker 1: someone would never know? 26 00:01:19,081 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 3: I feel like what most people wouldn't know about me 27 00:01:21,721 --> 00:01:25,441 Speaker 3: is that I spent five years working in construction from 28 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,521 Speaker 3: fifteen to about twenty. I decided that I was going 29 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:32,401 Speaker 3: to follow suit my dad's footsteps family business, you know, builders, 30 00:01:32,441 --> 00:01:36,121 Speaker 3: in construction, developing, and I ended up going and getting 31 00:01:36,121 --> 00:01:39,401 Speaker 3: my carpentry trade. So I was in my carpentry trade 32 00:01:39,441 --> 00:01:42,121 Speaker 3: for like three years and got qualified and yeah, I 33 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 3: was doing that for like five years. 34 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. 35 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,561 Speaker 3: So I worked on site most of the time with 36 00:01:46,601 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 3: like just me. My sisters also qualified trading as well, 37 00:01:49,721 --> 00:01:51,201 Speaker 3: So it was like us to you on the job 38 00:01:51,281 --> 00:01:53,921 Speaker 3: site full of men all the time, cat calls everything, 39 00:01:53,961 --> 00:01:55,961 Speaker 3: you can name it, like people were doing it. 40 00:01:56,201 --> 00:01:56,841 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. 41 00:01:56,841 --> 00:01:59,681 Speaker 2: I can't imagine you on a job site like a trade. 42 00:01:59,921 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 4: She was a trade. 43 00:02:00,881 --> 00:02:03,081 Speaker 1: Yoh did you wear high vis? 44 00:02:03,361 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 3: No? 45 00:02:03,641 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 2: At the time I didn't. 46 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,521 Speaker 3: They were residential jobs, so they were a little bit less, 47 00:02:07,641 --> 00:02:09,601 Speaker 3: like huge on the pipe and things like that, so 48 00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:12,201 Speaker 3: I had work it on, but they weren't like high 49 00:02:12,321 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 3: vis like what you'd see on a commercial job site. 50 00:02:14,841 --> 00:02:15,001 Speaker 4: Yeah. 51 00:02:15,041 --> 00:02:17,121 Speaker 1: People when you like rocked up at people's houses, to 52 00:02:17,161 --> 00:02:21,921 Speaker 1: do their Like, would work a TV cabinet, would I like, 53 00:02:22,081 --> 00:02:24,321 Speaker 1: hang on for a second if someone ordered a striper? 54 00:02:24,721 --> 00:02:29,441 Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, Like, we did more jobs for my dad, 55 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,841 Speaker 3: so he was like building development sites at the time, 56 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,001 Speaker 3: so it wasn't necessarily like going to people's places. But 57 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:38,961 Speaker 3: what I did notice is that anyone who would deliver materials, 58 00:02:39,081 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 3: any new workers, any young guys on the job especially, 59 00:02:42,281 --> 00:02:46,521 Speaker 3: would be like double looking, triple looking, hey girls, like 60 00:02:46,641 --> 00:02:49,561 Speaker 3: cat calling, whistling, that sort of thing, until that they 61 00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:52,001 Speaker 3: would learn that we're like the boss's daughters, and then 62 00:02:52,121 --> 00:02:54,521 Speaker 3: like things would stop, you know. But I think I 63 00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:57,601 Speaker 3: got more of that when I was in tafe. When 64 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,641 Speaker 3: you're in the workshop where you're actually building, it's not 65 00:03:00,721 --> 00:03:03,681 Speaker 3: just you and one class, it's you and three classes. 66 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,081 Speaker 3: I was the only girl of like me and like 67 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:11,041 Speaker 3: ninety young guys, and I remember walking into the tape 68 00:03:11,081 --> 00:03:14,321 Speaker 3: classroom and I swear to god, I could hear like 69 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:17,161 Speaker 3: a pin drop, Like everyone's head turned, and I was like, 70 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 3: oh shit, I'm gonna die. 71 00:03:18,721 --> 00:03:20,401 Speaker 4: Yeah how scary? Yeah? 72 00:03:20,561 --> 00:03:23,361 Speaker 1: Were you also a bit like Wow, I'm the only 73 00:03:23,481 --> 00:03:26,081 Speaker 1: girl here. I've got the pick of this whole class. 74 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 3: Who do I want I mean, I mean, I'm not 75 00:03:29,841 --> 00:03:30,281 Speaker 3: gonna lie. 76 00:03:30,321 --> 00:03:34,361 Speaker 2: I love the attention. Yeah, like Tasiana, she loves the attention. 77 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 3: But it was more this energy of like I need 78 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:41,121 Speaker 3: to prove what I've got, you know, because it's like 79 00:03:41,441 --> 00:03:44,201 Speaker 3: people are paying attention more than what they normally would, 80 00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:46,801 Speaker 3: you know, And it's like people are probably though, yeah, 81 00:03:46,841 --> 00:03:49,561 Speaker 3: people are probably wondering like or does she even do anything? 82 00:03:49,681 --> 00:03:52,281 Speaker 3: Like people had asked me that. So you're a carpenter. 83 00:03:52,361 --> 00:03:54,841 Speaker 3: Oh so you lay carpet and make these like little 84 00:03:54,881 --> 00:03:57,881 Speaker 3: comments and jokes. So you actually like you build things, 85 00:03:57,961 --> 00:04:00,281 Speaker 3: You build walls and frames and I'm like, yeah, like 86 00:04:00,321 --> 00:04:01,241 Speaker 3: the foundation of a house. 87 00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:04,721 Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, like the prettiest training. 88 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,961 Speaker 3: You And now I'm a princess, Like, don't ask me 89 00:04:09,001 --> 00:04:10,281 Speaker 3: to hang anything, please, I. 90 00:04:10,201 --> 00:04:12,601 Speaker 4: Don't want my hands. Daddy, my name's done. 91 00:04:12,881 --> 00:04:15,321 Speaker 1: Yes, what's your worst quality? 92 00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 3: Oh? 93 00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:17,041 Speaker 4: I don't reckon. 94 00:04:17,081 --> 00:04:19,361 Speaker 2: She's going to answer this. Let's call your mom. Oh 95 00:04:19,441 --> 00:04:22,041 Speaker 2: my god, No, let's call your sister. Let's call both, 96 00:04:22,121 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 2: let's let's call both. 97 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,121 Speaker 4: Where's my phone? 98 00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:26,081 Speaker 2: I don't tell them you're on a podcast, so okay, 99 00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:27,961 Speaker 2: you just have to ask that speaker. 100 00:04:28,041 --> 00:04:29,921 Speaker 3: Oh my god, my mom's going to say something unhinged. 101 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 4: Just a really random question, be honest, be so honest. 102 00:04:33,761 --> 00:04:37,081 Speaker 4: What's the question? What's your worst quality? Hello? 103 00:04:37,281 --> 00:04:37,801 Speaker 2: Hey mom? 104 00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:38,361 Speaker 4: Hello? 105 00:04:38,561 --> 00:04:39,121 Speaker 2: What are you doing? 106 00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:42,721 Speaker 3: Oh? I was just talking to Dan on FaceTime. 107 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 2: Oh it's cute. 108 00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:47,281 Speaker 3: I have a really random question for you. Can you 109 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,641 Speaker 3: tell me what you think my worst quality. 110 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,281 Speaker 4: Is your worst quality? 111 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:56,081 Speaker 3: Yeah? A, god, you would have to. 112 00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:58,241 Speaker 4: Be You're annoying. 113 00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:04,681 Speaker 2: I'm annoying. What do you mean when you you're always annoying? 114 00:05:05,161 --> 00:05:06,121 Speaker 4: Take my answer? 115 00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:07,561 Speaker 3: All right, thank you, mum? 116 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,801 Speaker 4: Bye? Okay, cool to see. 117 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:17,681 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm scared. She's so honest. Hallo, friend, 118 00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:20,361 Speaker 2: I have a really random question for you. 119 00:05:20,641 --> 00:05:24,401 Speaker 3: Okay, I would love to know what you think my worst. 120 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,521 Speaker 2: Quality is your worst quality? 121 00:05:26,681 --> 00:05:32,481 Speaker 4: Yeah? I'm really bad of these questions. Fuck, I really 122 00:05:32,561 --> 00:05:33,401 Speaker 4: can't think of one. 123 00:05:33,641 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 3: You have too many, and I'm done. 124 00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:41,721 Speaker 1: You can be really flaky. 125 00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:46,681 Speaker 4: That's not really a quality. 126 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 2: That counts though. Alright, I'll agree you light up. 127 00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:52,921 Speaker 3: But that's so funny, the flakiness and then doesn't take no. 128 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,161 Speaker 2: For an answer. I feel like they're on different ends. 129 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, here's another question. What were your first thoughts 130 00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: of Ashy when you met her at the gym, and 131 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,041 Speaker 1: did you know anything about her before you met? 132 00:06:04,161 --> 00:06:07,561 Speaker 3: Oh? I love this, So I loved the outfit that 133 00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:10,121 Speaker 3: you were wearing. I remember starting the conversation with Ash 134 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 3: and saying something like about her outfit, and then we 135 00:06:13,761 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 3: just like got talking and I loved that. Like, obviously 136 00:06:16,281 --> 00:06:19,161 Speaker 3: i'd like heard of your name, but I didn't recognize 137 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,721 Speaker 3: you when I met you. And then I realized once 138 00:06:21,921 --> 00:06:23,561 Speaker 3: i'd like followed you on social media it would have 139 00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:26,321 Speaker 3: been months later. I was like, oh, like I've heard 140 00:06:26,361 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 3: of that name before. Yeah, so it was really interesting. 141 00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:31,481 Speaker 3: But it was cool because I didn't know who you 142 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,601 Speaker 3: were or I didn't like come up to you being like, 143 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,721 Speaker 3: you know, let's fangirl or anything like that. I just 144 00:06:36,081 --> 00:06:39,161 Speaker 3: was saying in another episode that like I started doing 145 00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:40,761 Speaker 3: this thing where I was like, I'm just going to 146 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,001 Speaker 3: go up and speak to everyone that I possibly can't 147 00:06:43,121 --> 00:06:45,721 Speaker 3: like get in the face of rejection. And yeah, when 148 00:06:45,761 --> 00:06:47,161 Speaker 3: I saw Ashi, I was just like, she looks really 149 00:06:47,201 --> 00:06:48,841 Speaker 3: good and I want to compliment her and I want 150 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,601 Speaker 3: to like let her know that, and then yeah, we 151 00:06:50,721 --> 00:06:52,001 Speaker 3: just like spark the conversation. 152 00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:55,081 Speaker 1: When you realized who she was, did you have any 153 00:06:55,601 --> 00:06:57,841 Speaker 1: preconceived thoughts of what she might be like. 154 00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:00,881 Speaker 3: No, because if you look at my account now, like 155 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,561 Speaker 3: I don't really follow anybody, like I follow like very 156 00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 3: minimal people and so preconceived notions, just being like once 157 00:07:06,921 --> 00:07:09,201 Speaker 3: I saw her following, did I assume anything about her? 158 00:07:09,801 --> 00:07:11,521 Speaker 3: I feel like I try not to have an opinion 159 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,841 Speaker 3: on people when I first meet them because I never 160 00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:16,081 Speaker 3: want people to do that for me. And I just 161 00:07:16,201 --> 00:07:18,841 Speaker 3: like went off our first interaction and I was like, oh, 162 00:07:18,921 --> 00:07:21,321 Speaker 3: that was a really nice like conversation, and then we 163 00:07:21,521 --> 00:07:23,361 Speaker 3: spoke a couple of different times and I was like, 164 00:07:23,601 --> 00:07:25,001 Speaker 3: and it keeps feeling better. 165 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,481 Speaker 1: So you've talked previously on the podcast about bumping into 166 00:07:28,521 --> 00:07:31,081 Speaker 1: Ashley a lot when you first became friends, so at 167 00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:33,481 Speaker 1: the gym and then you bumped into each other at 168 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,601 Speaker 1: the movies. Were you stalking her? 169 00:07:35,961 --> 00:07:37,681 Speaker 3: Absolutely? 170 00:07:38,641 --> 00:07:41,841 Speaker 2: I just wanted to be close to her. To my friend, 171 00:07:42,241 --> 00:07:43,121 Speaker 2: I like, where is this woman? 172 00:07:43,161 --> 00:07:44,561 Speaker 4: I want to keep her? 173 00:07:45,521 --> 00:07:48,121 Speaker 3: My answer is yes, and as I can see, I 174 00:07:48,161 --> 00:07:49,121 Speaker 3: haven't left her side. 175 00:07:49,281 --> 00:07:51,561 Speaker 4: Yeah, continues and no. 176 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:54,121 Speaker 3: It was so interesting because I think it was three times, 177 00:07:54,521 --> 00:07:56,681 Speaker 3: so it was like we bumped into each other first 178 00:07:56,681 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 3: when we had that conversation. Didn't see you for a while. 179 00:07:59,681 --> 00:08:01,961 Speaker 3: It felt like a while ran into it the movies, 180 00:08:02,601 --> 00:08:05,641 Speaker 3: and then not long after that I saw you again 181 00:08:05,681 --> 00:08:07,601 Speaker 3: at the gym, and then that's when we passed each 182 00:08:07,641 --> 00:08:11,481 Speaker 3: other and it was like oh hey, yeah, and then yeah, 183 00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:12,801 Speaker 3: it was literally like I've been trying to find you 184 00:08:12,841 --> 00:08:15,081 Speaker 3: on social media, like what's your social media account? 185 00:08:15,321 --> 00:08:15,521 Speaker 2: Yeah? 186 00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:17,921 Speaker 1: Yeah. How do you feel about coming in as a 187 00:08:17,961 --> 00:08:20,841 Speaker 1: new co host on a show that was so established? 188 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:22,721 Speaker 4: That's a good question. 189 00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:26,881 Speaker 3: I think like initially when we first had the conversation, 190 00:08:26,961 --> 00:08:29,121 Speaker 3: I was just like straight away just like yeah, I 191 00:08:29,201 --> 00:08:32,081 Speaker 3: mean I love doing this sort of stuff. But also 192 00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,801 Speaker 3: in the same breath, it is scary. There's already an 193 00:08:34,841 --> 00:08:38,081 Speaker 3: established audience. They already have connections with, you know, the 194 00:08:38,201 --> 00:08:40,441 Speaker 3: initial co hosts, and that can be a scary thing 195 00:08:40,481 --> 00:08:42,641 Speaker 3: because you in some way kind of have to like 196 00:08:43,921 --> 00:08:48,401 Speaker 3: without like replacing, like fill somebody's shoes and also maintain 197 00:08:48,481 --> 00:08:50,601 Speaker 3: the connection with the audience that are already there. And 198 00:08:50,641 --> 00:08:53,361 Speaker 3: I think that in some ways, like there's pressure on that, 199 00:08:53,401 --> 00:08:54,721 Speaker 3: you know, because it's like you want to do a 200 00:08:54,761 --> 00:08:57,281 Speaker 3: good job and you want to you know, also be 201 00:08:57,561 --> 00:09:00,761 Speaker 3: liked and you know, have accepted a real connection with 202 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:03,081 Speaker 3: the audience as well, and you like want to uphold 203 00:09:03,081 --> 00:09:06,161 Speaker 3: that standard not only for the audidience, for us and 204 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:09,201 Speaker 3: for you and you know, everyone involved in the podcast. 205 00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:12,401 Speaker 3: So initially I had this thought, like, and I spoke 206 00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:14,721 Speaker 3: to Ashley about this, where I was like, oh my god, 207 00:09:14,761 --> 00:09:17,521 Speaker 3: what if people don't like me? Like, I'm fucking terrified, 208 00:09:17,601 --> 00:09:19,121 Speaker 3: you know, because it's you do when. 209 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:20,521 Speaker 2: You put yourself out there to be seen. 210 00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:23,121 Speaker 3: You don't get to control how people judge you and 211 00:09:23,161 --> 00:09:25,881 Speaker 3: what assumptions they might make up about you and things 212 00:09:25,921 --> 00:09:29,721 Speaker 3: like that. So being okay with whatever does happen, and 213 00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:32,241 Speaker 3: knowing that potentially that could happen and they are going 214 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,641 Speaker 3: to be people who maybe don't like me and that's okay, 215 00:09:34,921 --> 00:09:37,321 Speaker 3: but also knowing that, like, maybe there will be people 216 00:09:37,321 --> 00:09:39,801 Speaker 3: that will love me and what we bring to the 217 00:09:39,961 --> 00:09:43,481 Speaker 3: table together and what the new podcast is about. So yeah, 218 00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:47,801 Speaker 3: there definitely was pressure. But I think also in saying that, 219 00:09:48,201 --> 00:09:49,921 Speaker 3: what's the point of doing anything if you're not willing 220 00:09:49,961 --> 00:09:50,841 Speaker 3: to overcome the fear? 221 00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:52,841 Speaker 4: You know, such a beautiful. 222 00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:54,561 Speaker 2: Thing and what we bring doesn't take away what I 223 00:09:54,601 --> 00:09:58,201 Speaker 2: had with co hosts all of you. The conversations are 224 00:09:58,241 --> 00:10:00,361 Speaker 2: amazing and beautiful and the experience is cool. It's just 225 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,561 Speaker 2: very different, very different human Yeah. 226 00:10:03,081 --> 00:10:04,801 Speaker 3: And our dynamic would be different. 227 00:10:04,481 --> 00:10:07,561 Speaker 4: To what yours was so different. 228 00:10:07,281 --> 00:10:09,201 Speaker 3: You know, And it doesn't take away from the last 229 00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:11,641 Speaker 3: two years of your podcast. You would have had beautiful 230 00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:15,081 Speaker 3: conversations and spoken about it's had so many beautiful memories 231 00:10:15,121 --> 00:10:17,921 Speaker 3: as well, you know, And it's just like one beautiful 232 00:10:17,961 --> 00:10:20,241 Speaker 3: thing doesn't have to take away from another beautiful at all. 233 00:10:20,361 --> 00:10:22,841 Speaker 2: Like it is scary though, like stepping into something, especially 234 00:10:22,841 --> 00:10:25,801 Speaker 2: I suppose because you've had a little taste and seeing 235 00:10:26,601 --> 00:10:29,481 Speaker 2: what can happen when trolls come on board, Like it's 236 00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:32,561 Speaker 2: not fun. Yeah, I'm pretty resilient, but it's not fun. 237 00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:36,201 Speaker 3: I'm grateful to have witnessed you in a little bit 238 00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:37,761 Speaker 3: of that and to just see the way that you 239 00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:41,121 Speaker 3: hold yourself throughout that speaks volumes to your character, you know, 240 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,241 Speaker 3: does the fear that I have of like being seen 241 00:10:44,321 --> 00:10:47,201 Speaker 3: or judged or ridiculed, or people making assumptions about me 242 00:10:47,841 --> 00:10:50,761 Speaker 3: worth like me putting out into the world what I 243 00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:53,641 Speaker 3: know can help other people, you know, and help women 244 00:10:53,681 --> 00:10:56,801 Speaker 3: on their journey of like self discovery and connection and 245 00:10:56,881 --> 00:11:00,921 Speaker 3: finding themselves and community and like showcasing what we want 246 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:04,601 Speaker 3: this podcast to be about and giving other women hope 247 00:11:04,721 --> 00:11:06,561 Speaker 3: and permission that they get to have that too. 248 00:11:06,761 --> 00:11:09,361 Speaker 2: There's spears for all of us, but it's so quickly 249 00:11:09,401 --> 00:11:12,961 Speaker 2: overridden with like excitement, and we know what we want 250 00:11:12,961 --> 00:11:15,161 Speaker 2: to do here, and we're not gonna let anything or 251 00:11:15,201 --> 00:11:19,001 Speaker 2: anyone or fucking Karen Underscore nineteen eighty nine get in 252 00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:19,881 Speaker 2: the way of what we're doing. 253 00:11:20,121 --> 00:11:22,521 Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, one person who says something negative, but 254 00:11:22,601 --> 00:11:25,401 Speaker 3: like eleven people who say something positive and impact their 255 00:11:25,441 --> 00:11:29,841 Speaker 3: life forever, like that is like invaluable. I can put 256 00:11:29,841 --> 00:11:32,961 Speaker 3: myself in the front of things like this so that 257 00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:35,001 Speaker 3: I can become the woman I want to be and 258 00:11:35,081 --> 00:11:36,881 Speaker 3: also help others become the woman that they want to 259 00:11:36,881 --> 00:11:37,361 Speaker 3: become too. 260 00:11:37,441 --> 00:11:40,161 Speaker 1: So cool, you've kind of answered my next question, because 261 00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:42,841 Speaker 1: my next question was do you worry about trolls? Do 262 00:11:42,921 --> 00:11:44,921 Speaker 1: you worry that as She's gonna drag you into a 263 00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:46,121 Speaker 1: world of cybervilion? 264 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:48,881 Speaker 4: No, I don't. 265 00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,161 Speaker 3: You know, it doesn't matter what is said. I know 266 00:11:52,201 --> 00:11:54,681 Speaker 3: who you are, and I know who I am, and 267 00:11:54,841 --> 00:11:57,601 Speaker 3: I know that people's words don't hold weight unless you 268 00:11:57,641 --> 00:12:01,441 Speaker 3: give them power. And so no, I don't think that 269 00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:04,201 Speaker 3: I think I'm putting myself in a position where I'm 270 00:12:04,281 --> 00:12:07,321 Speaker 3: choosing to be here with you guys on this podcast 271 00:12:07,321 --> 00:12:10,601 Speaker 3: a part of this journey, which also has risk of 272 00:12:10,641 --> 00:12:13,321 Speaker 3: being exposed to things like that. So I don't blame 273 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,881 Speaker 3: ashy or don't feel like I'm being forced into anything. 274 00:12:15,921 --> 00:12:18,161 Speaker 3: It's a choice that I'm making and I'm willing to 275 00:12:18,201 --> 00:12:20,481 Speaker 3: do that because i know the benefit of what we're 276 00:12:20,481 --> 00:12:22,601 Speaker 3: going to be able to create, and that excites me. 277 00:12:22,761 --> 00:12:26,121 Speaker 3: That trumps any fear that I have of being like 278 00:12:26,361 --> 00:12:28,721 Speaker 3: somebody's gonna have something nasty to say about me. You 279 00:12:28,761 --> 00:12:30,681 Speaker 3: take the good vi the bad, like you know, you 280 00:12:30,721 --> 00:12:33,481 Speaker 3: can't just have all one thing, expect to have both 281 00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:34,841 Speaker 3: and you maybe will be okay. 282 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,041 Speaker 2: And I think the cool thing with this podcast is 283 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:38,761 Speaker 2: like people don't realize it's not just me and you here, 284 00:12:38,761 --> 00:12:40,241 Speaker 2: but we have the support of you and Jay, and 285 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,961 Speaker 2: I know that's really helped me in some tricky moments 286 00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:44,841 Speaker 2: where I've coped, p had It's just like when you've 287 00:12:44,881 --> 00:12:46,801 Speaker 2: got that solid support system around you, they give you 288 00:12:46,881 --> 00:12:48,841 Speaker 2: the strength and confidence and remind you why you're here. 289 00:12:49,041 --> 00:12:51,761 Speaker 4: Yea, And over time that does just dissolve and go away. 290 00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:54,121 Speaker 2: And it's a storm like things can feel heavy one 291 00:12:54,201 --> 00:12:56,361 Speaker 2: day and then it passes through, Yeah, and you move on. 292 00:12:56,681 --> 00:12:56,881 Speaker 4: Yeah. 293 00:12:56,961 --> 00:12:59,161 Speaker 2: You know, we've got each other and that holds a 294 00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:01,081 Speaker 2: lot of weight. And the right people can see who 295 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,721 Speaker 2: you are. Yeah, I can see what you're doing. 296 00:13:02,801 --> 00:13:05,401 Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have to like prove your self to 297 00:13:05,441 --> 00:13:07,401 Speaker 3: the people who know you are, because your actions speak 298 00:13:07,481 --> 00:13:10,201 Speaker 3: so much louder than words. Anyway, I think that speaks 299 00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:12,281 Speaker 3: more volumes of somebody's character than anything. 300 00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:16,561 Speaker 1: Yeah, I do have your back despite these questions. 301 00:13:18,961 --> 00:13:19,921 Speaker 3: Shaking in my boots. 302 00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:22,721 Speaker 1: You talked in a previous episode about a sex tape 303 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:26,001 Speaker 1: being sent out without your consent. Was there a part 304 00:13:26,081 --> 00:13:29,081 Speaker 1: of you that thought about how successful it became for 305 00:13:29,161 --> 00:13:30,641 Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton? 306 00:13:30,721 --> 00:13:33,041 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I did not think. I did not 307 00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:37,041 Speaker 2: know that question was going to get well, Oh my gosh, 308 00:13:37,121 --> 00:13:37,841 Speaker 2: it's so funny. 309 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:42,321 Speaker 3: I mean, initially I felt like really like impure, like 310 00:13:42,761 --> 00:13:46,121 Speaker 3: something was stripped away from me. My innocence almost was 311 00:13:46,121 --> 00:13:48,241 Speaker 3: like taken away from me. You know. It felt like 312 00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:51,121 Speaker 3: something that was so private and intimate was like no 313 00:13:51,201 --> 00:13:54,361 Speaker 3: longer mine to be special and you know, something that 314 00:13:54,361 --> 00:13:56,201 Speaker 3: you would share with somebody that you love. It was 315 00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:58,121 Speaker 3: like all these people that I didn't even know their 316 00:13:58,201 --> 00:14:01,321 Speaker 3: names watching videos of me, you know. And I think 317 00:14:01,361 --> 00:14:04,241 Speaker 3: that was really hard to overcome because it I haven't 318 00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:06,601 Speaker 3: told many people this, told you this ashly, but like 319 00:14:06,761 --> 00:14:09,321 Speaker 3: it took me probably like a good three years to 320 00:14:09,361 --> 00:14:12,441 Speaker 3: actually be able to like self pleasure after that experience 321 00:14:12,521 --> 00:14:15,561 Speaker 3: because I was so shut down. I shut down my sexuality. 322 00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:17,321 Speaker 3: I was like, you're not allowed to do this, You're 323 00:14:17,321 --> 00:14:19,401 Speaker 3: not allowed to see anybody, You're not allowed to be intimate, 324 00:14:19,481 --> 00:14:22,561 Speaker 3: you aren't deserving a pleasure, like all of these judgments 325 00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:25,761 Speaker 3: on myself. And I literally didn't self pleasure or do 326 00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:27,921 Speaker 3: any of those things for literally like three years because 327 00:14:27,921 --> 00:14:30,361 Speaker 3: it was just so cut off from myself. And then 328 00:14:30,441 --> 00:14:34,481 Speaker 3: to switch tunes to the Kim Kardashian thing. Honestly, I 329 00:14:34,561 --> 00:14:36,041 Speaker 3: used to think, well, at least if I get fucking 330 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,721 Speaker 3: famous from it, it'll be alright. If I can get 331 00:14:38,721 --> 00:14:40,441 Speaker 3: something from it, it'd be fine. You know, I launch 332 00:14:40,481 --> 00:14:42,361 Speaker 3: of product or do something with it, like at least 333 00:14:42,361 --> 00:14:44,121 Speaker 3: like that would be fine, Like you wouldn't mind becoming 334 00:14:44,161 --> 00:14:47,321 Speaker 3: a billionaire, like you know what I mean. But also 335 00:14:47,641 --> 00:14:49,921 Speaker 3: I did a speaking event like a couple of months ago, 336 00:14:50,241 --> 00:14:51,641 Speaker 3: and that was the joke that I put in there. 337 00:14:51,681 --> 00:14:54,001 Speaker 3: It was like, you know, well, I kind of always 338 00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:56,561 Speaker 3: wanted to be famous like Kim Kardashian, but I didn't 339 00:14:56,601 --> 00:14:59,161 Speaker 3: quite think it would turn out like this, you know. 340 00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:00,801 Speaker 3: And it was like, you've got to be able to 341 00:15:00,801 --> 00:15:04,561 Speaker 3: make light of situation. And I can now, I definitely 342 00:15:04,641 --> 00:15:07,521 Speaker 3: can now, but before no, but it just brings light 343 00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:10,601 Speaker 3: to the situation. I think, not being so serious about 344 00:15:10,641 --> 00:15:14,001 Speaker 3: life and bringing play to everything that you experienced, whether good, bad, 345 00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:16,441 Speaker 3: heavy or not. Like, once you've gone through it, okay, 346 00:15:16,481 --> 00:15:17,961 Speaker 3: once you've gone through and you're on the other side, 347 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,841 Speaker 3: you're like, oh, cool, Like I can joke about those 348 00:15:19,881 --> 00:15:22,721 Speaker 3: things because it doesn't carry as much weight anymore. 349 00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,521 Speaker 1: Did your parents know about it? 350 00:15:24,641 --> 00:15:27,081 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I told my parents straight away, so as 351 00:15:27,121 --> 00:15:28,961 Speaker 3: soon as it happened, and that's what I was saying 352 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,761 Speaker 3: to Ashley. I was terrified of like telling my dad 353 00:15:31,961 --> 00:15:33,881 Speaker 3: because I was just like, how am I supposed to 354 00:15:33,921 --> 00:15:37,321 Speaker 3: tell my dad that his youngest girl of four girls 355 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:40,401 Speaker 3: has literally had a man release a sex tape of her. 356 00:15:40,841 --> 00:15:44,201 Speaker 3: The fucking judgment and shame that like ran through my body. 357 00:15:44,281 --> 00:15:47,041 Speaker 3: I was like, but I'm Daddy's little girl, like you know, 358 00:15:47,241 --> 00:15:49,921 Speaker 3: and I was so terrified of that. But he's always 359 00:15:49,921 --> 00:15:52,321 Speaker 3: been somebody who has always had a really positive outlook 360 00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:55,841 Speaker 3: on life and mindset and very like, it doesn't define you, 361 00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:58,201 Speaker 3: This doesn't mean anything about what you want for yourself 362 00:15:58,201 --> 00:16:00,921 Speaker 3: in your future, and you're gonna be okay. I was 363 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,561 Speaker 3: really grateful that I never really felt judgment from my 364 00:16:03,601 --> 00:16:04,321 Speaker 3: parents around that. 365 00:16:04,481 --> 00:16:05,441 Speaker 4: It's beautiful. Man. 366 00:16:05,521 --> 00:16:08,441 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's such a hard conversation. 367 00:16:08,881 --> 00:16:10,441 Speaker 2: Honestly, I was mortified. 368 00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:13,321 Speaker 3: And then like the process of having to go into 369 00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:15,841 Speaker 3: the police station with them, with my mom and my 370 00:16:15,921 --> 00:16:19,001 Speaker 3: dad tell my statement in front of them, I was like, oh, fuck, 371 00:16:19,161 --> 00:16:23,041 Speaker 3: this is the worst, Like, you know, like what is 372 00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:24,961 Speaker 3: my dad thinking, Oh, well done. 373 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:25,761 Speaker 4: To get through that. 374 00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:32,201 Speaker 1: You've previously spoken about not wanting kids. Why and what's changed? 375 00:16:32,841 --> 00:16:33,721 Speaker 2: My silver fox? 376 00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:39,521 Speaker 3: I'm just kidding truthfully, vulnerably, my mom, like my mom 377 00:16:39,521 --> 00:16:41,801 Speaker 3: and my dad, like they had five kids, and they 378 00:16:41,841 --> 00:16:43,841 Speaker 3: were so good, like so good to us. They did 379 00:16:43,881 --> 00:16:46,121 Speaker 3: everything for us. They always made sure that we, you know, 380 00:16:46,201 --> 00:16:47,961 Speaker 3: had everything that we called and did the best that 381 00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:50,241 Speaker 3: they called at every level of where they were at. 382 00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:53,281 Speaker 3: And you know my mom, you know, she had five kids. 383 00:16:53,321 --> 00:16:55,881 Speaker 3: It was her sole responsibility while my dad worked a lot. 384 00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:59,521 Speaker 3: And I think I just growing up, I always heard 385 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,641 Speaker 3: a lot of things of my mom's real experience of 386 00:17:01,761 --> 00:17:03,521 Speaker 3: like how hard it was for her and how she 387 00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:06,241 Speaker 3: didn't really have, you know, anything outside of being a 388 00:17:06,281 --> 00:17:08,521 Speaker 3: mom because she didn't have the time and she had 389 00:17:08,521 --> 00:17:11,281 Speaker 3: five children to look after, and my dad was providing 390 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,001 Speaker 3: for the family, like he couldn't be at home a 391 00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:15,041 Speaker 3: lot of the time, so it was her sole responsibility. 392 00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 3: And so I think what I saw growing up was 393 00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:20,801 Speaker 3: that she didn't have a lot of time and space 394 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:26,120 Speaker 3: for herself, and that meant potentially losing herself in motherhood 395 00:17:26,281 --> 00:17:29,521 Speaker 3: and not having anything outside of that. And that really 396 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,561 Speaker 3: terrified me because I always thought, like, you know, am 397 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,880 Speaker 3: I too selfish to want to have kids? I do 398 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,480 Speaker 3: what I want, when I want, when I want to 399 00:17:37,481 --> 00:17:38,680 Speaker 3: do it, that sort of thing. And I was like, 400 00:17:38,721 --> 00:17:41,041 Speaker 3: I couldn't imagine what that would feel like, not having 401 00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:43,321 Speaker 3: those things and not being able to do that, and 402 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,400 Speaker 3: it scared me, and I was just like, fuck, like, 403 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,041 Speaker 3: maybe I'm too selfish to be a mom more. I 404 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:51,041 Speaker 3: remember saying this to myself, maybe I'm not maternal enough 405 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,481 Speaker 3: or nurturing enough to you know, want that for myself. 406 00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:56,801 Speaker 3: You know. Along the way, I've always been in this 407 00:17:57,001 --> 00:18:01,361 Speaker 3: like I don't know energy where I've been like yes, no, maybe. 408 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:01,440 Speaker 4: I don't know. 409 00:18:01,521 --> 00:18:03,640 Speaker 3: I'm not sure, like just on this I don't know train. 410 00:18:04,241 --> 00:18:06,761 Speaker 3: And then I met the man that I'm seeing now, 411 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 3: and you know, we have like a fair bit of 412 00:18:08,281 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 3: like a bit of an age gap, and he's just 413 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 3: the safest, most beautiful, intelligent, like emotionally intelligent man, and 414 00:18:17,441 --> 00:18:19,480 Speaker 3: he's so drooped just all the things, and he just 415 00:18:19,561 --> 00:18:22,481 Speaker 3: makes me feel really safe. And that's been a big 416 00:18:22,521 --> 00:18:27,321 Speaker 3: thing for me in relationships and noticing being and wanting 417 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,041 Speaker 3: to spend time with him. The more that I spend 418 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,721 Speaker 3: time with him, the more I have these little moments 419 00:18:31,761 --> 00:18:33,360 Speaker 3: where I'm like, oh, that could be nice, or like 420 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 3: I wonder what it would be like to experience like 421 00:18:35,801 --> 00:18:38,601 Speaker 3: falling pregnant, or like being in a delivery room, or 422 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,521 Speaker 3: you know, even like getting married and stuff like that. 423 00:18:40,561 --> 00:18:43,361 Speaker 3: Like I'm you know, not obviously unmarried and haven't had 424 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:47,241 Speaker 3: that experience yet. So with the evidence of a man 425 00:18:47,321 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 3: who embodies the qualities that I would want for myself 426 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,561 Speaker 3: and that I would you know, want my daughters to 427 00:18:52,561 --> 00:18:55,521 Speaker 3: have as a dad, I'm like, oh, wow, I wonder 428 00:18:55,561 --> 00:18:57,121 Speaker 3: what that experience would be like with him. 429 00:18:57,921 --> 00:18:59,441 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful. 430 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 3: Yes, which is a scary fucking thought to have. 431 00:19:04,521 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 2: I'm like, did I just say that out loud? 432 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 1: That is beautiful and I'm really happy for you. But 433 00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:12,441 Speaker 1: he's sixteen years older, so is he rich? 434 00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:18,041 Speaker 3: Ah? Okay, oh my god, stop it. I do feel 435 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,201 Speaker 3: very well provided. And I don't just mean provided for, 436 00:19:22,281 --> 00:19:23,521 Speaker 3: I don't mean like necessary. 437 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,121 Speaker 2: She means yes, she's like beating around the bushes and tea. 438 00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 3: I just like he's very driven, successful businessman, Like he 439 00:19:31,281 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 3: knows what he's moving towards, and he's very sure of 440 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,881 Speaker 3: what he wants, including me. And yeah, when I'm with him, 441 00:19:38,921 --> 00:19:41,721 Speaker 3: I can just like soften my feminine side comes out 442 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,481 Speaker 3: and just like provide emotional and mental safety. 443 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,241 Speaker 2: And I think we've had conversations around this too. It's 444 00:19:47,281 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 2: like the judgment that comes with like, oh is he wealthy? 445 00:19:50,441 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 2: It's like I get it, ham gold digger or whatever. 446 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 2: But it's a conversation we have of like the importance 447 00:19:55,681 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 2: of actually wanting to be softer and being taken care of. 448 00:19:58,521 --> 00:20:01,801 Speaker 2: That is not a bad thing. Yeah, I can be 449 00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 2: independent of my own money. I'd be so fine on 450 00:20:04,201 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 2: my own Yeah, I want to. Yeah, I like it 451 00:20:06,921 --> 00:20:09,801 Speaker 2: when takes care of me. Yes, you know, yeah, I 452 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,640 Speaker 2: know that he can protect me and provide for me. 453 00:20:11,761 --> 00:20:14,281 Speaker 2: I definitely could do it my own. But like that's beautiful, 454 00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:17,401 Speaker 2: and it's like polarity. Like they're made and they're wired 455 00:20:17,441 --> 00:20:19,521 Speaker 2: to protect and provide for us, and we're made and 456 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,880 Speaker 2: wired to nurture them and love on them and create 457 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,681 Speaker 2: the home. You know, it feels good for both of us. 458 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:25,561 Speaker 2: It's so funny. 459 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,041 Speaker 3: I love that you brought that up with such a 460 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,561 Speaker 3: beautiful conversation to have, because I remember going through this 461 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,680 Speaker 3: phase where I was in this mentality of like, oh, 462 00:20:31,721 --> 00:20:33,761 Speaker 3: I don't need a man, I'm just so independent. I'll 463 00:20:33,761 --> 00:20:35,521 Speaker 3: make it myself and like, you know, go out and 464 00:20:35,521 --> 00:20:37,281 Speaker 3: build a business and I'll be fine and all things. 465 00:20:37,441 --> 00:20:39,400 Speaker 3: But I rejected the part of me that wanted to 466 00:20:39,441 --> 00:20:42,561 Speaker 3: be taken care of emotionally, mentally, financially, all the things. 467 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 3: And I remember I came to you and I was like, 468 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,041 Speaker 3: you know what, I used to judge and shame myself 469 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,361 Speaker 3: for wanting to be taken care of and provided for, 470 00:20:49,761 --> 00:20:52,961 Speaker 3: but in terms of like safety, as if we don't 471 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 3: want that as a woman, you're gonna like, you know, 472 00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,241 Speaker 3: get married have kids, do all the things be mother naturally, 473 00:20:59,281 --> 00:21:01,880 Speaker 3: you want to know that, like one, you're provided for, 474 00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:03,921 Speaker 3: Your children are going to be safe and provided for, 475 00:21:04,281 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 3: and money doesn't have to be the thing that is 476 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 3: the biggest pain point in your life. Like when do 477 00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:13,761 Speaker 3: we start judging wanting to have security? 478 00:21:13,921 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 2: Just security is the minimum freedom to I don't have 479 00:21:16,721 --> 00:21:18,281 Speaker 2: a life that we want and get a babysit we 480 00:21:18,321 --> 00:21:20,440 Speaker 2: want or have the shiny things and go on the 481 00:21:20,441 --> 00:21:22,360 Speaker 2: trips and do all the things, Like why should you 482 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,441 Speaker 2: be shamed for wanting that? 483 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,241 Speaker 3: And like wanting to experience life and in a beautiful way, 484 00:21:26,321 --> 00:21:29,761 Speaker 3: and you're allowed to want what you want, Like there's 485 00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:33,561 Speaker 3: no shame around wanting or for yourself and wanting the bigness. 486 00:21:33,281 --> 00:21:35,440 Speaker 2: And anyone listening that's like, oh that's lazy or she 487 00:21:35,441 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 2: shouldn't be like that, Like it's just what's coming up 488 00:21:37,481 --> 00:21:39,561 Speaker 2: for you. Someone along the line has told you that 489 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,481 Speaker 2: you have to do it all to be a great mum, 490 00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:43,281 Speaker 2: or to be a great person, or to be the 491 00:21:43,281 --> 00:21:44,041 Speaker 2: best wife. 492 00:21:44,201 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 3: I remember having like a bad experience with a man 493 00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 3: and being like I never want to have to rely 494 00:21:48,921 --> 00:21:50,680 Speaker 3: on a man like that again. And whilst I make 495 00:21:50,721 --> 00:21:54,120 Speaker 3: my own money. I'm also like, why can't I be 496 00:21:54,441 --> 00:21:57,201 Speaker 3: secure in relying on a man without trying to push 497 00:21:57,281 --> 00:21:59,601 Speaker 3: away that out of like a pain point? 498 00:21:59,921 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 2: Does that make sense, you know? 499 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 3: Of being like, well, I don't want to be like, oh, 500 00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:05,041 Speaker 3: I'm this independent girl with this and that and reject 501 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 3: the part of me that wants to be nurtured and 502 00:22:06,801 --> 00:22:09,721 Speaker 3: loved and taken care of because I had one bad 503 00:22:09,761 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 3: experience that you know, told me I have to do 504 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:12,880 Speaker 3: it all myself. 505 00:22:12,561 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 2: And most secure masculine men want to take care of 506 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,241 Speaker 2: their women. I don't want this independent boss pabe, I've 507 00:22:20,241 --> 00:22:21,281 Speaker 2: got it under need you. 508 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,360 Speaker 4: It's not cute. 509 00:22:22,721 --> 00:22:24,721 Speaker 2: They want to take care of you, but it's. 510 00:22:24,561 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 3: Just one part of being a woman. It's like, you 511 00:22:26,481 --> 00:22:28,961 Speaker 3: can be independent and get shit done and be in 512 00:22:29,001 --> 00:22:32,400 Speaker 3: your masculine, but you can also still be feminine. 513 00:22:33,481 --> 00:22:33,920 Speaker 2: You got it. 514 00:22:34,001 --> 00:22:35,640 Speaker 3: I don't not take my phone anywhere. 515 00:22:35,801 --> 00:22:38,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, be on no timeline. 516 00:22:37,961 --> 00:22:39,640 Speaker 4: Either the book, the restaurant that picking you up and 517 00:22:39,961 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 4: the things. 518 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 2: Yeah you ready at this time? Wear this. 519 00:22:43,441 --> 00:22:45,880 Speaker 1: I think it's so nice that you were so honest 520 00:22:45,921 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 1: with that answer, because I don't think that's the answer 521 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:52,801 Speaker 1: that I expected you to say. But it's like so valid, 522 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,361 Speaker 1: like we get it and coming from like the listeners 523 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 1: wouldn't know this, but all three of us are dating older. 524 00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:58,201 Speaker 3: Yeah. 525 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: When I say dating, I'm married is twelve years, nine years, 526 00:23:04,241 --> 00:23:06,401 Speaker 1: your a sixteen. So we all get it. 527 00:23:06,441 --> 00:23:08,801 Speaker 2: We love the silver foxes all those. Steve has no grays, 528 00:23:09,001 --> 00:23:10,721 Speaker 2: like when are you going to become a silver fox? 529 00:23:11,201 --> 00:23:12,321 Speaker 2: Like a silver fox and he's. 530 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:12,681 Speaker 4: Got no graes. 531 00:23:12,801 --> 00:23:13,281 Speaker 2: So good. 532 00:23:13,321 --> 00:23:15,561 Speaker 4: He's aging well, good time, he's aged very well. 533 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,521 Speaker 1: Talking of money and earning your own money, you've talked 534 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,561 Speaker 1: about investments that you've made. What's the most money you've 535 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:28,201 Speaker 1: made from your investments? Which ones should we be doing? 536 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,360 Speaker 4: I love it. Yeah. 537 00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:31,921 Speaker 3: I went through this sphase where I was like going 538 00:23:31,961 --> 00:23:34,001 Speaker 3: through like all these temp jobs and trying to figure 539 00:23:34,001 --> 00:23:35,801 Speaker 3: out what I wanted to do in life, and I 540 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 3: ended up investing. Dabbled in trading that sort of thing 541 00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:41,001 Speaker 3: like four X and crypto and that sort of stuff, 542 00:23:41,001 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 3: but mostly I made money in stock market. So I 543 00:23:43,761 --> 00:23:47,201 Speaker 3: invested in gold companies and the most that I made 544 00:23:47,201 --> 00:23:51,521 Speaker 3: from this one company was like five hundred thousand. Wow. Yeah, 545 00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 3: over like a span of like six to eight months. 546 00:23:55,041 --> 00:23:57,681 Speaker 3: I think I held it for that long and then yeah, 547 00:23:57,721 --> 00:23:58,881 Speaker 3: it was able to like cash out. 548 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,521 Speaker 1: And how much did you put in? 549 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 3: I invested twenty thousand, twenty thousand and a half a million. 550 00:24:04,001 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, what did you do with half a million? 551 00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:10,201 Speaker 3: So I reinvested it back into cryptos. So I dispersed 552 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:13,561 Speaker 3: it over cryptos, and then I invested back. I probably 553 00:24:13,561 --> 00:24:16,281 Speaker 3: invested like one hundred and fifty thousand back into myself 554 00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:19,521 Speaker 3: in personal development in like business coaching, that sort of thing, 555 00:24:19,801 --> 00:24:21,880 Speaker 3: and then the rest of it I reinvested it into 556 00:24:21,921 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 3: like cryptos. 557 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:25,361 Speaker 1: WOA, And is it still in crypto? 558 00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 2: Is it still in crypto? 559 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,841 Speaker 3: I have a little bit, but not as much as 560 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 3: I would like because I ended up pulling out, reinvesting 561 00:24:31,681 --> 00:24:34,721 Speaker 3: more back into myself and growing my coaching business now. 562 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:36,841 Speaker 3: But yeah, it was cool. I got to like take 563 00:24:36,921 --> 00:24:38,801 Speaker 3: me to that profit. Yeah that's aw cool. 564 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your biggest fear? 565 00:24:43,281 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 3: I think my biggest fear is not like realizing my 566 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,281 Speaker 3: potential in this life. Like I know I have like 567 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:52,400 Speaker 3: a lot to give, and I think a lot of 568 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,241 Speaker 3: the things that I've battled with in my own self 569 00:24:55,281 --> 00:24:58,880 Speaker 3: worth is not feeling capable enough. I just know that 570 00:24:58,921 --> 00:25:00,400 Speaker 3: I would regret if I got to the end of 571 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,801 Speaker 3: my life, and I didn't do the things that absolutely 572 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,161 Speaker 3: terrified me that helped me grow into that potential, even 573 00:25:06,201 --> 00:25:08,721 Speaker 3: like decisions like this, you know, doing things that are 574 00:25:08,961 --> 00:25:12,121 Speaker 3: stepping outside of my comfort zone and pushing my edge 575 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 3: of what feels comfortable for me to do, because I 576 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,561 Speaker 3: know that what I have to share could be really 577 00:25:17,681 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 3: valuable to like anyone who's listening, you know, from my 578 00:25:20,521 --> 00:25:24,921 Speaker 3: own personal experience, you know, went from feeling so unworthy 579 00:25:24,961 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 3: in myself and like punishing myself all the time and 580 00:25:28,561 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 3: drinking and just not liking the person that I was, 581 00:25:30,921 --> 00:25:33,360 Speaker 3: making bad choices and all those things to someone I'm 582 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 3: really proud of being. And I'm like, even if I 583 00:25:35,921 --> 00:25:38,281 Speaker 3: shared that story with one person that could help one person, 584 00:25:38,281 --> 00:25:40,481 Speaker 3: like I'd be happy. So I think my biggest fear 585 00:25:40,521 --> 00:25:42,801 Speaker 3: is not one hundred percent fully living up to my 586 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 3: potential to experience what I want to experience in life, 587 00:25:46,321 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 3: and the other fear is naturally just abandonment. It's a 588 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,801 Speaker 3: deep rooted fear, but I feel like I can manage 589 00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:53,360 Speaker 3: it a little bit better now with like tools that 590 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 3: I have from like personal development, being a coach, running 591 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,521 Speaker 3: myself through different processes and stuff. But it's definitely always 592 00:25:59,521 --> 00:26:01,561 Speaker 3: in the back of my mind, especially when you get 593 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,241 Speaker 3: close to somebody you really love them, you know, it's 594 00:26:04,281 --> 00:26:07,001 Speaker 3: like really close, some really vulnerable. It's like those views 595 00:26:07,001 --> 00:26:09,561 Speaker 3: do come up of like what if this isn't forever? 596 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,401 Speaker 1: What does ten years time look like for you? 597 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:14,160 Speaker 4: That's a good question. 598 00:26:14,761 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 3: I'd love to have my business be like super established 599 00:26:17,681 --> 00:26:20,761 Speaker 3: on its own and to just not have to worry 600 00:26:20,761 --> 00:26:23,440 Speaker 3: about money. So for me in ten years time, I 601 00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:25,561 Speaker 3: would love to have, you know, been able to speak 602 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 3: on multiple stages and like lead women into a journey 603 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,041 Speaker 3: of their own like that for me terrifies the absolute 604 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,400 Speaker 3: shit out of me. But it's for some reason. Since 605 00:26:34,441 --> 00:26:37,481 Speaker 3: I was probably sixteen, I've said to myself, no, I'm 606 00:26:37,521 --> 00:26:39,681 Speaker 3: going to do it that in that area for sure. 607 00:26:39,961 --> 00:26:42,480 Speaker 1: And what's at home? The silver Fox? 608 00:26:43,321 --> 00:26:44,761 Speaker 2: The silver Fox. 609 00:26:46,721 --> 00:26:49,761 Speaker 4: Is so edgy or having like living on the same land. 610 00:26:50,001 --> 00:26:53,041 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, getting a compound and like living with all 611 00:26:53,041 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 3: your closest people and creating your own community like that 612 00:26:56,001 --> 00:26:58,481 Speaker 3: would be an drink, Like if I could do that, that 613 00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:59,481 Speaker 3: would be an ultimate dream. 614 00:27:00,041 --> 00:27:01,241 Speaker 1: Your chosen village. 615 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,041 Speaker 2: Yeah, we grow our own vegetables, have all our stuff there, 616 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,761 Speaker 2: self sufficient. Kids just run into each house, like everyone 617 00:27:06,801 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 2: just shares everything, got. 618 00:27:07,681 --> 00:27:10,120 Speaker 3: Buggies to each house, you know, like you live with 619 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,041 Speaker 3: the people that you love, or you've got family there 620 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,640 Speaker 3: and you'll live in this one space. 621 00:27:13,681 --> 00:27:15,721 Speaker 4: To get us every Sunday night, everyone just comes together. 622 00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:18,360 Speaker 2: Oh my god, stop so fun. It'd be so fun. 623 00:27:18,561 --> 00:27:21,241 Speaker 3: But yeah, definitely my silver fox, someone who I can 624 00:27:21,441 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 3: do life with, is got my back. We're for each other. 625 00:27:24,961 --> 00:27:25,281 Speaker 4: Kids. 626 00:27:25,321 --> 00:27:28,721 Speaker 3: Maybe when I think of ten years time, I think kids. Yeah, 627 00:27:28,721 --> 00:27:31,481 Speaker 3: lots of travel, just like, lots of experience and adventure. 628 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:32,561 Speaker 2: That's what I want. 629 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 3: I want my life to just feel like I can 630 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,640 Speaker 3: look back and be like I really did all the 631 00:27:36,681 --> 00:27:38,360 Speaker 3: things that I wanted to do with my life and 632 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 3: I had fun doing it. 633 00:27:39,721 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 4: You know. 634 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,841 Speaker 1: That's all my questions. Thank you so much fun answering 635 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:43,641 Speaker 1: them so honestly. 636 00:27:43,921 --> 00:27:48,120 Speaker 3: Thanks thank you for having me and asking really good questions. 637 00:27:48,321 --> 00:27:49,321 Speaker 2: Very edgy, but I love it. 638 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:52,041 Speaker 1: I'm an open book always. I'll keep writing them. 639 00:27:52,241 --> 00:27:53,801 Speaker 4: I know we're back in a couple of months. 640 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,041 Speaker 3: Time for another way I go ham on me, don't 641 00:27:57,041 --> 00:27:57,521 Speaker 3: hold back. 642 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us, guys, We'll see in the next episode. Bye.