1
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,440
Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to the heart of it. We are

2
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,680
Speaker 1: recording this on gaddigal Land.

3
00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:14,320
Speaker 2: Hello, my wife, good morning, I should say to you, indeed,

4
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 2: good morning, good morning? Is still morning? Yes? Yeah, we're

5
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,320
Speaker 2: just still morning. Well, it's just you and I.

6
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,439
Speaker 1: Honey, Yeah, you and I and Xanderander.

7
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,960
Speaker 3: Hello, I'm actually known I don't know if you guys

8
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,640
Speaker 3: know this as producer X, producer X. Yeah, that's actually

9
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,000
Speaker 3: my little producer name.

10
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,479
Speaker 2: Is that kind of like your your rap name as well? Oh?

11
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,360
Speaker 4: My spy name? Yeah?

12
00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:39,639
Speaker 2: Okay, I like that.

13
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:43,839
Speaker 1: A mystery to it.

14
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:44,760
Speaker 4: It is, isn't it.

15
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,160
Speaker 3: I used to use it when I was in radio

16
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,440
Speaker 3: all the time. Did you bring it back into podcasting?

17
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 1: So this is not new?

18
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:55,080
Speaker 2: No, No, when you were when you were first born

19
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,240
Speaker 2: and the name Xander, was that an unusual name back then?

20
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,120
Speaker 4: I'll and now every second kid's name Xander.

21
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,520
Speaker 2: And I'm furious because I still think it's quite an

22
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,840
Speaker 2: unusual name to start with an X as well. You

23
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:08,880
Speaker 2: don't get a lot of names.

24
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,200
Speaker 4: We know it's not my real name. Why do you wait?

25
00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:11,440
Speaker 2: Oh?

26
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,200
Speaker 1: His producer X going to give up his real name.

27
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,320
Speaker 2: He's going to lift off his face in a minute.

28
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:18,520
Speaker 1: Tom cruise.

29
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 3: No, I'm Alexander really legally, legally okay, but no one.

30
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,280
Speaker 4: I don't think anyone's called me Alexander in years.

31
00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,440
Speaker 1: Not my parents, no one, did they ever?

32
00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,520
Speaker 3: Yes, So how the name Xander came about is that

33
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,920
Speaker 3: I when I was being naughty, I'd never listen to

34
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,600
Speaker 3: Mama dad when they be like Alexander. And then one

35
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,959
Speaker 3: time one of them said Xander, and I started crying.

36
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:45,639
Speaker 4: So it's stuck.

37
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it had a response, had a response, so

38
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,240
Speaker 3: obviously didn't like it.

39
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,120
Speaker 4: But yeah, stuck.

40
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,640
Speaker 2: But but you're still now you're mister X producer producer X.

41
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,840
Speaker 1: Okay, all Rightander, Xander's going to read out, honey, he's

42
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,920
Speaker 1: going to He's got three questions from that he's hand picked.

43
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,600
Speaker 4: Yes, stop piling.

44
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 1: You've curated these questions from our listener. Yes, listeners. Thankfully

45
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,480
Speaker 1: we have listeners. Yes, And so Xander, you can fire

46
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,200
Speaker 1: away with question one when you're ready, or we can

47
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,120
Speaker 1: keep chatting about monicas and you know names.

48
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,200
Speaker 4: That's all right, said, I've said my piece.

49
00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,560
Speaker 1: Producer x X, what would you be?

50
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,200
Speaker 2: Well, I get Pali Ali?

51
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,160
Speaker 4: What's that mean?

52
00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,520
Speaker 1: She was my pal? I called it Ali? And then

53
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,600
Speaker 1: saying someone flipped it around the other way.

54
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,200
Speaker 2: That's your sister. She always I love it.

55
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,079
Speaker 4: What's yours?

56
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,520
Speaker 1: Then Cam Lately it's turned a million. Lately it's turned

57
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:53,040
Speaker 1: into Cam Dad, Cam Dad. Good. They came Dad, they came.

58
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,800
Speaker 3: I said something the other day and everyone in the

59
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,960
Speaker 3: office was like, don't do that, something like daddy can

60
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,320
Speaker 3: or Cameron daddy and.

61
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:11,080
Speaker 1: Well someone someone said on Instagram once recently Cameron Zaddi,

62
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:16,640
Speaker 1: Zaddy zaddy, and and then it was it was reiterated

63
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,520
Speaker 1: by Luxury Escapes main man Eugene Loan, who we do

64
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,200
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff together, and he goes, yeah, come on,

65
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,280
Speaker 1: give me the zaddy shot. I'm like, hang on, what

66
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,239
Speaker 1: what did you understand that I didn't know? And he goes,

67
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,840
Speaker 1: You're a zaddy. I'm like, what is a zaddy? And

68
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,320
Speaker 1: then explained it to me. I said, you can't do that,

69
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,040
Speaker 1: you can't.

70
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,600
Speaker 2: Well, our kids knew what it meant because they were

71
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:42,080
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, I don't even

72
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:42,800
Speaker 2: say the word.

73
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:48,040
Speaker 3: So we got Pally Pali Ali and Cameron Daddy.

74
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,280
Speaker 1: Cam dad or they called me. They called me, they

75
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,680
Speaker 1: call me love songs down at.

76
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,440
Speaker 4: The they would with your guitars.

77
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,640
Speaker 1: It's more about smooth I think late Night on Smooth

78
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,160
Speaker 1: players love song give us a dedication love songs.

79
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So.

80
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,320
Speaker 1: All right, now we've established that it's it's it's producer

81
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:12,160
Speaker 1: ex Palli Ali and.

82
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:15,480
Speaker 4: So we do.

83
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,719
Speaker 3: We have a few questions in from our marvelous listeners,

84
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,440
Speaker 3: and question number one is from Jenny. You've shared plenty

85
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,840
Speaker 3: of great relationship wisdom, but I'd love to know what

86
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,320
Speaker 3: the most important relationship advice you have ever received is

87
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,200
Speaker 3: and who was it from?

88
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, this was This is a really hard question to answer,

89
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,599
Speaker 2: I find because the amount of relationship wisdom that we've

90
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:44,000
Speaker 2: compiled over five years of doing this podcast, which we

91
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:50,279
Speaker 2: figured out the other day five years, that's wild. Is like,

92
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:55,359
Speaker 2: there's so much, there's so much I do come back to.

93
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,760
Speaker 2: Almost anything actually that comes out of the Gotman Institute

94
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:05,680
Speaker 2: is always bang on for what resonates with me. They

95
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:10,800
Speaker 2: talk about doing you know, a deep check in sort

96
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,680
Speaker 2: of every Sunday, just putting aside time to be with

97
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,200
Speaker 2: each other and doing a check in and you know

98
00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:19,640
Speaker 2: what worked for you this week? Was there something that

99
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:24,080
Speaker 2: you needed more from me? What else can I do?

100
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,480
Speaker 2: You know? For this relationship? Like those sorts of questions.

101
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 2: I think is really beautiful. I think though it is

102
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:38,240
Speaker 2: probably I think choosing to keep finding the good in

103
00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,000
Speaker 2: each other I think is really important. It's all too

104
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:45,000
Speaker 2: easy to sort of nitpick on the things that are annoying,

105
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,520
Speaker 2: but I think choosing to still find the good in

106
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,760
Speaker 2: each other and staying curious is probably my best tips.

107
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,719
Speaker 1: I like that. Just the Gotman Institute. How do you

108
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,440
Speaker 1: find that? Where is that? Because I agree with you?

109
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:02,920
Speaker 2: What do you mean?

110
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,760
Speaker 1: How do you online? Is that an insid Instagram?

111
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,520
Speaker 2: It's online?

112
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,840
Speaker 1: You're just you're just typing Gotman.

113
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,560
Speaker 2: G O G O T T M A N institute. Yeah,

114
00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:15,080
Speaker 2: because the courses and everything.

115
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:23,479
Speaker 1: Okay, I think that's beautiful. And yeah, I think I've

116
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:28,440
Speaker 1: taken that. Just keep focusing on on what you have. Yep.

117
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,640
Speaker 1: So I relate to that one. I don't know where

118
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:36,000
Speaker 1: this advice came from for me, but it was. It's

119
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,120
Speaker 1: it was, it was. I think it is the most

120
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:43,880
Speaker 1: important for me that the person you who is your partner,

121
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:49,839
Speaker 1: who has chosen who chooses each day to walk beside you, uh,

122
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:55,479
Speaker 1: that is to treat them with respect, absolute respect, because

123
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,880
Speaker 1: it's the highest compliment that they could give you. Is

124
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,240
Speaker 1: that is that they're choosing to walk with you so

125
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,960
Speaker 1: or through all the bad stuff, whatever's going on, the

126
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:11,600
Speaker 1: difficult times in a relationship. When that just get back

127
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,640
Speaker 1: from the edge, step back from the edge and look

128
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:17,120
Speaker 1: at that person who you're walking with, who's your partner,

129
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,280
Speaker 1: and be grateful for the fact that they are choosing

130
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:26,720
Speaker 1: to live their life with you beside them. It's a privilege. Yeah,

131
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,840
Speaker 1: And I think that has made a huge difference to

132
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:35,640
Speaker 1: me through all the different permutations of day to day

133
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:40,440
Speaker 1: where I find myself in relationship with you. Ye, sit back,

134
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:46,160
Speaker 1: all right, she's amazing, she's walking with me. So thank you.

135
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,120
Speaker 2: Got it right, that's very Matthew McConaughey, have you then.

136
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:55,960
Speaker 4: I agree with that.

137
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,040
Speaker 3: I think it would be a privilege for anyone to

138
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:58,920
Speaker 3: have me beside them.

139
00:07:59,000 --> 00:07:59,960
Speaker 2: So correct.

140
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,040
Speaker 4: Yes, you're to say.

141
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,280
Speaker 1: Honey, we anyone to have Allison.

142
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,120
Speaker 4: That is a real privilege.

143
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,440
Speaker 1: Because dude, Cam Dad, you are punching Cameron Daddy.

144
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,520
Speaker 2: Only some would say someone say the opposite.

145
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:21,120
Speaker 3: Yet question number two is from Michael. He says, Hi,

146
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 3: Ali and Cam, I was wondering, how do you both

147
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,520
Speaker 3: navigate fights? I know every relationship has them, but some

148
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 3: people can do it in a healthy way and fight.

149
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:34,319
Speaker 2: Well yeah, yeah, Oh we've never fought, right, honey, not once.

150
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:39,200
Speaker 1: Well it's funny, okay, So I went back, that's a

151
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:42,440
Speaker 1: lie by that into So, Michael, it's a great question.

152
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:49,600
Speaker 1: And Ali and I very early on in our podcasting career.

153
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,720
Speaker 1: It was back in twenty nineteen, I believe we did

154
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,360
Speaker 1: a podcast. It's a good one to go back and

155
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:57,080
Speaker 1: have a listen to. It's about no punching below the

156
00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,079
Speaker 1: belt and fight fair. And I had to listen to that.

157
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,559
Speaker 1: And one of the things that we did talk about

158
00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,000
Speaker 1: it's escaping mind brain now.

159
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:14,800
Speaker 2: Is forget, forget it all, just keep swimming, just keep

160
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,960
Speaker 2: saying that's how you do fights, and just forget what you.

161
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,719
Speaker 1: Actually did say that in that one. Just go I

162
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,840
Speaker 1: remember sometimes what we were fighting.

163
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:31,640
Speaker 2: I know, I know, well you think about it. Number.

164
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,240
Speaker 2: I mean the thing that we and I know that

165
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:38,600
Speaker 2: we've talked about this before for whatever reason when you

166
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:43,800
Speaker 2: and I got together, We've never been name callers in fights.

167
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:49,720
Speaker 2: We've never been cruel in our fighting because we always

168
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,280
Speaker 2: talk about you can't unring a.

169
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,440
Speaker 1: Bell, you can't unsay a cruel word.

170
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,360
Speaker 2: That's right, And I think that that is. I think

171
00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:00,560
Speaker 2: that if you can stop yourself from being rule in

172
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,440
Speaker 2: a fight, then you can fight fair. And I think

173
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:09,840
Speaker 2: you know, it's sort of also understanding. Sometimes things come

174
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,480
Speaker 2: up in the heat of the moment, you can't keep

175
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:15,040
Speaker 2: your mouth shut. But also if you can go we

176
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,080
Speaker 2: need to discuss this, when would be a good time

177
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,800
Speaker 2: to discuss this, because that person might be walking out

178
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,200
Speaker 2: the door and it gets more heated that way, or

179
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,040
Speaker 2: they might be in the middle of working, or they

180
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,560
Speaker 2: might have a headache, or they might be getting ready

181
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,840
Speaker 2: to go to bed, and you're trying to get into

182
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,160
Speaker 2: this argument, and none of that sets the scene for

183
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,560
Speaker 2: a healthy environment. So find a place where you can

184
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:43,479
Speaker 2: discuss the argument. Yeah, don't fight mean that just never works.

185
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true what I was thinking of what we said,

186
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,640
Speaker 1: we acknowledged that early on in our relationship we didn't fight,

187
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:56,679
Speaker 1: we never fought, and now we do have constructive I

188
00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:02,000
Speaker 1: think constructive fights or arguments. Thing that I did remember

189
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,960
Speaker 1: was that that fights are also people who when we

190
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,960
Speaker 1: avoid fights, we avoid that opportunity to actually go deeper

191
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,080
Speaker 1: in our relationship. And if you can look at that

192
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:18,079
Speaker 1: discussion as as an opportunity to grow, you know, and

193
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,800
Speaker 1: sometimes sometimes as difficult it is and as painful it

194
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,600
Speaker 1: is to feel all those feelings, that's often going to

195
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:33,280
Speaker 1: push the boundaries out in the relationship to make things evolve.

196
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,880
Speaker 2: You know, we did a podcast too with remember James

197
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:42,559
Speaker 2: gill Fish. Yeah, he was great, and he had really

198
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:47,120
Speaker 2: great advice on conflict resolution and just really being able

199
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,160
Speaker 2: to understand where the conflict is coming from from the

200
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:55,280
Speaker 2: other person and you know, where the steps that you

201
00:11:55,320 --> 00:12:00,439
Speaker 2: can take to resolve something where you can take moment

202
00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,840
Speaker 2: to just step into those that other person's shoes sometimes

203
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,079
Speaker 2: and understand where they're seeing their perspective from. It can

204
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,679
Speaker 2: be really difficult, especially if it's a really you know,

205
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,160
Speaker 2: there might be content in there that's really hard to

206
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,000
Speaker 2: understand why the other person is doing what they're doing.

207
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:22,640
Speaker 2: But I like that too, to just kind of, you know,

208
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,480
Speaker 2: ask questions sometimes that really helps too in a conflict

209
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:31,079
Speaker 2: to figure out like sometimes when I've gone when I've

210
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:35,880
Speaker 2: been angry with you, it's through just a miscommunication or

211
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,560
Speaker 2: a not understanding of what actually has taken place. And

212
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,200
Speaker 2: then when you've gone, oh, I thought it was this,

213
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,960
Speaker 2: this and this, and you were saying this, and I'm like, oh, no,

214
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,959
Speaker 2: that's not what I was saying. So it's sometimes it's

215
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:48,760
Speaker 2: as simple as that.

216
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think you talk a lot about sleep.

217
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,680
Speaker 2: I sure do do talk.

218
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:02,280
Speaker 1: A lot about sleep, and though I'm beginning to understand

219
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,120
Speaker 1: the power of sleep, and let's just put this can

220
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:11,120
Speaker 1: we just agree to put this down and sleep, go

221
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,199
Speaker 1: to sleep, you know, get to a place where you

222
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,120
Speaker 1: can put it down and sleep on it, and let's

223
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:22,160
Speaker 1: revisit this tomorrow after we've recalibrated, after a after a sleep, well.

224
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:27,920
Speaker 2: Sleep literally, I mean they've proven this through science. There

225
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:32,560
Speaker 2: is matter and stuff that happens in the brain that

226
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 2: rinses the brain literally, and so you're working things out

227
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,160
Speaker 2: in your dreams and in your own consciousness. So you

228
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,440
Speaker 2: often wake up going, oh, right, now I understand this,

229
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:46,240
Speaker 2: or now I've got a great idea, or now I

230
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:50,400
Speaker 2: can deal with this issue. It's actually a proven technique,

231
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,400
Speaker 2: So it's a good one.

232
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:57,960
Speaker 1: Two things that have helped me with navigating fights. One

233
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,840
Speaker 1: thing that often stops me from actually even entering into

234
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:07,319
Speaker 1: one too, And I've said this. If I've said it once,

235
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,079
Speaker 1: I've said it twenty times over the years on this podcast,

236
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,679
Speaker 1: is give up that need to be right. And I

237
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,599
Speaker 1: was a witness to a couple of guys at a

238
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,560
Speaker 1: dinner table the other night, both both needing to be right,

239
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,480
Speaker 1: and it went on for gosh, they went on for

240
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:29,400
Speaker 1: ten minutes, not listening to each other and just trying

241
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 1: to be right. And they probably were both in a

242
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:37,880
Speaker 1: way correct, but it just just seemed to go nowhere. Yeah,

243
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,600
Speaker 1: you know, so give up that need to be right

244
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,560
Speaker 1: and also learn the art of apology from the heart,

245
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:45,760
Speaker 1: from the heart of it.

246
00:14:47,120 --> 00:15:00,400
Speaker 5: Nice time, next.

247
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:05,800
Speaker 4: Question, producer back in the house. Last question is from

248
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,400
Speaker 4: Lucy Hi Cam and Ali.

249
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,920
Speaker 3: My daughter is getting married soon and it got me

250
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,120
Speaker 3: thinking about how I'd do my wedding differently if I

251
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,040
Speaker 3: ever did it again. If you had to plan your

252
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,920
Speaker 3: wedding again, would you do anything differently?

253
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:26,960
Speaker 2: Yes, you I would. I love the idea of what

254
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:32,240
Speaker 2: these young'uns are doing now, where it's like a three

255
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:36,840
Speaker 2: day event where you do the night before, you do

256
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,080
Speaker 2: like a pre party, then you have the wedding, and

257
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 2: then you have the recovery breakfast.

258
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 1: Oh I like this recovery breakfast.

259
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,440
Speaker 2: I loved this idea. I know it makes it and

260
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,840
Speaker 2: if you can do it without like I mean that

261
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,400
Speaker 2: sounds really expensive, but like if there's a way to

262
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,360
Speaker 2: do it on a farmstead or something where everyone can

263
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,600
Speaker 2: be I don't know, glamping or something where you just

264
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,280
Speaker 2: all together. I really liked that idea because you get

265
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,760
Speaker 2: such little time in the moment of the actual wedding

266
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,840
Speaker 2: to spend time with the people that you love, people

267
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,960
Speaker 2: that have traveled sometimes from overseas or out of town.

268
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,960
Speaker 2: And you know, the way we did our wedding, you know,

269
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 2: in ninety ninety one, it was there were people there

270
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,960
Speaker 2: that I didn't even get to talk to, you know,

271
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 2: because it was that wedding, and then we were out

272
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,160
Speaker 2: of there and it got.

273
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 1: So ridiculous as well. The way, I mean, no one

274
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,200
Speaker 1: instructed us really on what to do. The fact that

275
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 1: we had to get up at five o'clock in the

276
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 1: morning the day after to get an aeroplane out, you know,

277
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 1: for our honeymoon was it was insane. I know, We're

278
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 1: staying in this luxury hotel in Sydney on the harbor.

279
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had about six hours in it and that

280
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:52,160
Speaker 2: was not.

281
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,000
Speaker 1: Even honey not even I think we were there for

282
00:16:55,040 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 1: four hours. I mean, what was great, Park Hyatt, Thank you, Jess. Yeah,

283
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:04,640
Speaker 1: in Sydney was for our thirtieth wedding anniversary. We went

284
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:09,640
Speaker 1: back there and had such a lovely, lovely night. Yeah,

285
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 1: we actually woke up in the daytime. We're dark when

286
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,240
Speaker 1: we woke up there. Yeah, So to have a breakfast

287
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,359
Speaker 1: there or something.

288
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. And then you get to hear other

289
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,600
Speaker 2: people's stories of your wedding, you know what I mean?

290
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,159
Speaker 2: How was that from yesterday? And oh I love this,

291
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,960
Speaker 2: you know, I just it just makes it a fuller

292
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,200
Speaker 2: event to really enjoy the people who who were there.

293
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,080
Speaker 2: So that's what I would do it. How I would

294
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 2: do it differently?

295
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, well can I jump on yours?

296
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:39,000
Speaker 2: Then?

297
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,200
Speaker 1: I don't know how to do it. I mean, all

298
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:48,320
Speaker 1: I can think of was on a recent trip with

299
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: Luxury Escapes, I was sitting at the end of a jetty.

300
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 1: It was in Fiji, and it was the end of

301
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,720
Speaker 1: a jetty at a table. And this is not so

302
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,120
Speaker 1: much would I do a wedding differently, but you could

303
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,480
Speaker 1: easily do it. Maybe it was at the end of

304
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,399
Speaker 1: a jetty is the sun was going down and this

305
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:10,800
Speaker 1: Fiji and warriors there with his torch and and it

306
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,800
Speaker 1: was just so beautiful and I was sitting there with

307
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 1: Rebecca Gibney, and I said, God, this would be a

308
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 1: place to renew wedding vows or ask someone to get married.

309
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 1: And that's I know this. I know that's not that

310
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 1: we're talking about a wedding. And I really I hadn't

311
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 1: really thought about what how I would do a wedding. Differently,

312
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,160
Speaker 1: I think that's a brilliant idea, though, make it, make

313
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 1: it a few days. You know, what about a wedding

314
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 1: renewal three days?

315
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,119
Speaker 3: Kiss of death? Yeah, I think wedding renewals are the

316
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 3: kiss of death. I think there's a reason people are

317
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 3: doing them, and it's usually not because they're still in love.

318
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 4: I think they're trying to save. No offense to anyone

319
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,200
Speaker 4: out there. He had renewal.

320
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,120
Speaker 1: Watching that Apple TV show with Steve Carell.

321
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 3: It's because I watched The Real Housewives, and every house

322
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 3: that's on a wedding on you has gone to divorce.

323
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 2: Oh, there it is if it's on the.

324
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:16,679
Speaker 3: Real house Real TV, know TV kind of.

325
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,960
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying. If like, if it's the

326
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 2: last desperate bid, then maybe that's not gonna There's other

327
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,400
Speaker 2: ways you could try to save your marriage than trying

328
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,120
Speaker 2: to renew.

329
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,920
Speaker 1: Well, I think an acknowledgment of love and where you're

330
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,199
Speaker 1: at it is a great thing to do.

331
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 2: But no, I wouldn't do three days for that, no.

332
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:39,159
Speaker 1: Right, okay, so that's just the wedding different. Yeah, okay,

333
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:43,959
Speaker 1: good on you, Lucy. Thank you. Well. Our niece Lucy

334
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 1: did a three day right, didn't they?

335
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,120
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, it was great fun. Yeah, that's that's what

336
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,679
Speaker 2: has made me think of it. Plus just other people

337
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 2: like her ages seems to be that's a more common

338
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 2: thing now. Yeah.

339
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: And the wedding photos that come out of it studios

340
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 1: is so cool. Now, get the drone up in the air.

341
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, it's like a full movie production.

342
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 1: To keep your questions coming, we love getting your questions

343
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,359
Speaker 1: and we'll do we could do this every every few weeks.

344
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:22,880
Speaker 1: Answer your questions. Your Instagram handle is ol come on, come.

345
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,879
Speaker 2: On, okay, Cameron is Ali Dado?

346
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,679
Speaker 1: Sorry, Pali Ali? What is your.

347
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 2: Very hard Ali daddo? That's it?

348
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm thinking of changing mind to Cameron Zaddy. Please

349
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 1: don't know what, Okay, I might have already.

350
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 2: Have you got a little secret Instagram mind with pictures

351
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 2: of your toes and stuff?

352
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 1: Gross?

353
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 4: Sounds like an only fan.

354
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 2: I think so. Not one of those apps I'm going

355
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 2: to find you.

356
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 1: No, I'm at Cameron Dada. Just yeah, send them, send

357
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 1: them along.

358
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 2: Yep, or into the Nova podcast. We've got an email address, don't.

359
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 4: We do we you?

360
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 3: Yes, we do? Do I remember it off the top

361
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:13,680
Speaker 3: of my head.

362
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 2: No, but it's in the show notes, in the.

363
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 1: Show notes.

364
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,440
Speaker 2: In the show notes, we have an email address you

365
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 2: can also send it to. Yeah.

366
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: Great. We love your questions, thanks, and we love your curiosity.

367
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 1: So that's cool. Thank you.

368
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: Indeed, indeed, all right, that's it from us till next time.

369
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: Cheers