1
00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,241
Speaker 1: Apogae Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy

2
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:15,201
Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is.

3
00:00:15,201 --> 00:00:18,761
Speaker 2: About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest,

4
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:20,800
Speaker 2: and most authentic version of yourself.

5
00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,281
Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.

6
00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241
Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

7
00:00:26,241 --> 00:00:27,801
Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.

8
00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,721
Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self.

9
00:00:30,961 --> 00:00:33,961
Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to another episode of She Rises.

10
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,521
Speaker 1: Today we're talking about having it all but being fucking

11
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:40,361
Speaker 1: miserable in the process. Just to put it lightly, just

12
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,161
Speaker 1: to put it bluntly, I think you guys are gonna

13
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,201
Speaker 1: really enjoy the different insights we have on this because

14
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,360
Speaker 1: we both have been at a point where like, holy shit,

15
00:00:47,441 --> 00:00:49,881
Speaker 1: We've got everything ever wanted. Yeah, why am I so

16
00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:52,240
Speaker 1: fucking sad? But before we do, watch your share of

17
00:00:52,281 --> 00:00:52,601
Speaker 1: the week.

18
00:00:52,681 --> 00:00:54,721
Speaker 2: My Share of the Week is actually a quote. It

19
00:00:54,881 --> 00:00:58,121
Speaker 2: is a person's true priorities are revealed by what they

20
00:00:58,161 --> 00:00:59,721
Speaker 2: abandoned first in chaos.

21
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,681
Speaker 1: Oh isn't that true?

22
00:01:01,921 --> 00:01:06,681
Speaker 2: Carl Jung? Wow, just a really cool perspective of like, okay, cool,

23
00:01:06,681 --> 00:01:09,081
Speaker 2: what's the thing that you abandoned in chaos? What's the

24
00:01:09,121 --> 00:01:11,720
Speaker 2: first thing that goes and do you actually prioritize it

25
00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:12,961
Speaker 2: in the way that you say that you do, and

26
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:15,401
Speaker 2: if not, how can you improve to make sure that

27
00:01:15,521 --> 00:01:18,080
Speaker 2: in chaos that thing you don't give it up?

28
00:01:18,241 --> 00:01:21,360
Speaker 1: The mean meditation goes out the window and I'm busy,

29
00:01:21,521 --> 00:01:24,841
Speaker 1: but my exercise never Yeah, isn't that true? Everyone will

30
00:01:24,881 --> 00:01:27,720
Speaker 1: be listening going, oh, I don't eat as well, or

31
00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:28,920
Speaker 1: that's a really cool.

32
00:01:28,801 --> 00:01:30,360
Speaker 2: Quote my week.

33
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:33,440
Speaker 1: Mine's a shameless plug, but it's our hideaway lip balms.

34
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,761
Speaker 1: They've been out of stock for so long and they're

35
00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:38,561
Speaker 1: finally back in stock, and we've brought some of our

36
00:01:38,601 --> 00:01:42,241
Speaker 1: favorite flavors back, including qutberry Bang, strawberry Gulato, and they're.

37
00:01:42,121 --> 00:01:44,441
Speaker 2: Just so good. I love them so good.

38
00:01:44,601 --> 00:01:47,200
Speaker 1: They sell out so fast, and for good reason. They're

39
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:47,680
Speaker 1: so popular.

40
00:01:47,921 --> 00:01:51,761
Speaker 2: Vanilla one is my favorite, is a vanilla caramel caramel.

41
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:54,641
Speaker 1: I love the fairy floss, Quberry Bang and strawberge Alato.

42
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:57,881
Speaker 1: They're just beautiful and so hydrating. I feel like a

43
00:01:57,921 --> 00:01:59,361
Speaker 1: lot of lip balms you apply, but then you have

44
00:01:59,401 --> 00:02:00,761
Speaker 1: to reapply all the time.

45
00:02:01,161 --> 00:02:01,481
Speaker 2: You don't.

46
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,281
Speaker 1: They just feel so hydrated and beautiful. My favorite look

47
00:02:04,441 --> 00:02:09,361
Speaker 1: is the Mecha lipliner in Shade Classy that lipliner and

48
00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:11,561
Speaker 1: then smudge it in with the lip um. It's just

49
00:02:11,721 --> 00:02:14,521
Speaker 1: natural and pretty Okay, do you want to start?

50
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:18,280
Speaker 2: There's almost this expectation when you are perceived to have

51
00:02:18,561 --> 00:02:21,521
Speaker 2: quotations all of the things that you're not allowed to

52
00:02:21,561 --> 00:02:26,881
Speaker 2: be sad, unhappy, depressed, not happy with your circumstances, or

53
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,121
Speaker 2: like you're not even allowed to have a bad day. Yeah,

54
00:02:29,321 --> 00:02:31,680
Speaker 2: And there's this pressure almost because it's like the way

55
00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:33,641
Speaker 2: that people are perceiving you is like oh but you know,

56
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,001
Speaker 2: they might look at you and go, oh wow, but

57
00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:38,121
Speaker 2: she's got all the things, but then inside you're having

58
00:02:38,121 --> 00:02:40,841
Speaker 2: a completely different experience. And I think it's really important

59
00:02:40,841 --> 00:02:44,841
Speaker 2: to talk about because sometimes you do, on paper have

60
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:48,520
Speaker 2: all of the things, but when you're emotionally inside, not happy,

61
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,881
Speaker 2: not fulfilled, not filled up by your life and not

62
00:02:51,361 --> 00:02:54,441
Speaker 2: actually fulfilled because you're not maybe doing the things that

63
00:02:54,481 --> 00:02:56,560
Speaker 2: you want to do, or maybe you just feel like

64
00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:59,121
Speaker 2: this sense of loneliness inside and you're just like, what

65
00:02:59,321 --> 00:03:01,000
Speaker 2: is actually happening? Yeah?

66
00:03:01,121 --> 00:03:03,921
Speaker 1: I so agree, and I can totally relate because there

67
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,601
Speaker 1: was a point in my life where I literally had

68
00:03:06,641 --> 00:03:08,201
Speaker 1: it all. I feel like I've got it all now.

69
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,561
Speaker 1: But this was on the peak of my career. I

70
00:03:10,561 --> 00:03:14,281
Speaker 1: had the waterfront mansion, a beautiful, healthy baby, supportive husband.

71
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,400
Speaker 1: I had friends. I had more money. I didn't even

72
00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:18,001
Speaker 1: know what to do with it. I could literally shout

73
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:20,800
Speaker 1: my friends trips around the world, buy them everything. I had,

74
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,721
Speaker 1: the nice car, I was buying, designer everything. I literally

75
00:03:23,721 --> 00:03:26,321
Speaker 1: had everything that tick tick tick I thought I wanted.

76
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,441
Speaker 1: Yet I would go to bed at night and just

77
00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:32,121
Speaker 1: feel really miserable. And I remember not even sharing this

78
00:03:32,161 --> 00:03:34,560
Speaker 1: because then I had so much guilt. I'm like, would

79
00:03:34,601 --> 00:03:36,801
Speaker 1: battle with myself, Well, you've got everything you wanted. How

80
00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:39,481
Speaker 1: can you can't be sad? Everyone else wants what you have.

81
00:03:40,121 --> 00:03:42,001
Speaker 1: You have all these fans that love you. You've got

82
00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:45,481
Speaker 1: literally everything you'd ever wanted. And it was so hard

83
00:03:45,721 --> 00:03:48,281
Speaker 1: to navigate. But what I learned through that is money

84
00:03:48,321 --> 00:03:50,961
Speaker 1: does not buy happiness. We think it does. We think

85
00:03:51,081 --> 00:03:52,841
Speaker 1: when we get money, and trust me, I've had all

86
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:54,161
Speaker 1: the money in the world that I could ever dream

87
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,801
Speaker 1: of and more. It does not make you happy. Yes,

88
00:03:56,841 --> 00:03:59,801
Speaker 1: it takes away stress, Yes it gives you freedom. Yes

89
00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:02,921
Speaker 1: you can be very generous and do cool shit. But

90
00:04:03,441 --> 00:04:09,161
Speaker 1: true happiness comes from having a passion, purpose, deep connection,

91
00:04:10,201 --> 00:04:15,161
Speaker 1: aligned dreams, taking care of yourself. That's not something money

92
00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:17,961
Speaker 1: can buy. Yes, money can make it easy, but trust me,

93
00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:21,201
Speaker 1: it does not make you truly happy. Such a big

94
00:04:21,281 --> 00:04:22,161
Speaker 1: thing to talk about.

95
00:04:22,361 --> 00:04:25,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, money is a resource and it gives you freedom

96
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:30,001
Speaker 2: and opportunity. It might create happiness temporarily, and it might

97
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:31,801
Speaker 2: be like, oh, I can buy myself this thing, Cole.

98
00:04:31,841 --> 00:04:34,361
Speaker 2: I'm happy in the moment, but the underlying feeling of

99
00:04:34,521 --> 00:04:36,801
Speaker 2: am I happy within myself as a human? Am I

100
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:40,440
Speaker 2: happy within my life? Am I happy within my relationships?

101
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,601
Speaker 2: That is like a deeper level of happiness that can

102
00:04:43,681 --> 00:04:46,921
Speaker 2: only be fulfilled by you looking at those things and

103
00:04:46,961 --> 00:04:49,921
Speaker 2: not the temporary fun things that we kind of slap

104
00:04:49,961 --> 00:04:50,801
Speaker 2: on top.

105
00:04:51,081 --> 00:04:53,561
Speaker 1: You know, it's very easy for someone in an audience.

106
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,121
Speaker 1: I see on social media all the time, and I

107
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:57,161
Speaker 1: saw a video a few years ago when I was

108
00:04:57,201 --> 00:04:59,721
Speaker 1: going through something hard. It was a little gossip page

109
00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:01,400
Speaker 1: that made this video, and it was a video of

110
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,841
Speaker 1: me saying I feel really depressed. Then they put music

111
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,361
Speaker 1: on the background and they showed my car, and they

112
00:05:06,401 --> 00:05:08,880
Speaker 1: showed my house, and they showed me shopping, and they

113
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,161
Speaker 1: showed all these clips of me doing really fun stuff,

114
00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:13,400
Speaker 1: as in like paying me out, saying how can she

115
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,561
Speaker 1: be depressed? Because she's got all of this that we

116
00:05:15,601 --> 00:05:18,121
Speaker 1: all want. But little did they know that I was

117
00:05:18,121 --> 00:05:20,841
Speaker 1: going through a really hard time my relationship. Little did

118
00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,681
Speaker 1: they know that I was struggling with the online world.

119
00:05:22,801 --> 00:05:26,201
Speaker 1: Little did they know that I was exhausted. Little did

120
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,681
Speaker 1: they know that I was going through stuff with my

121
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,121
Speaker 1: child and unpacking that with a coach and really feeling

122
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,921
Speaker 1: quite low day to day. Little did they know I

123
00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:36,641
Speaker 1: was struggling with my hormones. Like what you see visually

124
00:05:36,641 --> 00:05:39,721
Speaker 1: on someone's life, you don't actually know what's going on

125
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:42,921
Speaker 1: behind closed doors. And then when you put that expectation

126
00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:44,601
Speaker 1: on yourself, like oh, I should be happy and I

127
00:05:44,641 --> 00:05:46,641
Speaker 1: shouldn't be sad and I can't be sad because I've

128
00:05:46,641 --> 00:05:50,720
Speaker 1: got XYZ, you kind of just bury how you're actually feeling,

129
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:53,001
Speaker 1: and that just builds and builds and builds until one

130
00:05:53,081 --> 00:05:55,320
Speaker 1: day it explodes and you have a massive breakdown, like

131
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,320
Speaker 1: I'm not fucking happy. Yeah. Actually, the first step is

132
00:05:58,361 --> 00:06:01,880
Speaker 1: to just really feel and honor exactly how you're feeling,

133
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,721
Speaker 1: regardless of all the shiny shit that you have, because

134
00:06:03,721 --> 00:06:05,801
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter that's the first thing I do is

135
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,841
Speaker 1: just fully fully feel it. I love that.

136
00:06:07,841 --> 00:06:09,921
Speaker 2: That's so beautiful. You really do need to hay. And

137
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,760
Speaker 2: I think in my own experience when I went through

138
00:06:12,761 --> 00:06:16,041
Speaker 2: something similar, I was financial trading at the time. So

139
00:06:16,081 --> 00:06:18,401
Speaker 2: I like bounced and jumped from like temp job to

140
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,481
Speaker 2: temp job because I was like this young, like driven

141
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:24,080
Speaker 2: little girl who wanted this big dream life and you know,

142
00:06:24,121 --> 00:06:26,881
Speaker 2: wanted to create financial success for herself and live the

143
00:06:26,961 --> 00:06:30,001
Speaker 2: dream life and all the stuff. And I remember being like, Okay,

144
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,801
Speaker 2: I've got to find my passion and I've got to

145
00:06:31,841 --> 00:06:33,681
Speaker 2: find my drive, and I've got to find the thing

146
00:06:33,721 --> 00:06:36,601
Speaker 2: that's going to fulfill me in a career, right, And

147
00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:39,081
Speaker 2: so I bounced from all these different temp jobs and

148
00:06:39,121 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 2: then I landed myself into investing and trading financially. And yeah,

149
00:06:44,241 --> 00:06:47,161
Speaker 2: I remember investing this money. I was working like a

150
00:06:47,161 --> 00:06:49,280
Speaker 2: temp job at the time. I was doing traffic control

151
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,400
Speaker 2: of all jobs at the time, and I was like

152
00:06:51,481 --> 00:06:53,520
Speaker 2: making pretty good money. So I was working seven days

153
00:06:53,521 --> 00:06:55,161
Speaker 2: a week for like a good year, and I lived

154
00:06:55,161 --> 00:06:57,561
Speaker 2: off two hundred and fifty dollars a week and I

155
00:06:57,641 --> 00:06:59,681
Speaker 2: invested the rest and I was making anyway up to

156
00:06:59,761 --> 00:07:02,561
Speaker 2: like twenty two hundred per week and I was living

157
00:07:02,601 --> 00:07:04,881
Speaker 2: off two fifty and I invested the rest of it,

158
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,041
Speaker 2: and then I remember making like quite a significant amount

159
00:07:08,081 --> 00:07:11,161
Speaker 2: of money within like the investing space. It was all

160
00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:13,601
Speaker 2: good and well, and I was like, oh cool, Like financially,

161
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,161
Speaker 2: I feel free, and I'm like quite young, so I

162
00:07:16,161 --> 00:07:17,521
Speaker 2: was like, holy shit, I've got all this money that

163
00:07:17,561 --> 00:07:19,961
Speaker 2: I can play with. But I just remember feeling so

164
00:07:20,161 --> 00:07:24,361
Speaker 2: lonely because I was so isolated. At the time. I

165
00:07:24,441 --> 00:07:26,161
Speaker 2: was working a full time job where I was working

166
00:07:26,201 --> 00:07:28,921
Speaker 2: seven days a week. I was also really protective of

167
00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:31,681
Speaker 2: myself of new people because of the sex tape and

168
00:07:31,961 --> 00:07:34,481
Speaker 2: fearing that people had, you know, seen it and watched it.

169
00:07:34,481 --> 00:07:36,081
Speaker 2: When they would meet me, that'd be like have they

170
00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:38,441
Speaker 2: seen it? Have they watched it? Do they know about

171
00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:40,361
Speaker 2: it already? Or do I have to explain this to them?

172
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,281
Speaker 2: And it was just such a big cloud that kind

173
00:07:42,281 --> 00:07:44,761
Speaker 2: of sat on top of me that I just completely

174
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:48,681
Speaker 2: isolated myself from everyone and anything. And so I had

175
00:07:48,721 --> 00:07:50,441
Speaker 2: like a brand new point one hundred and sixty thousand

176
00:07:50,441 --> 00:07:53,001
Speaker 2: dollar portrait nineteen right because I bought that, and then

177
00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:54,321
Speaker 2: I was living that life and I had all this

178
00:07:54,401 --> 00:07:57,081
Speaker 2: financial freedom and like on the outside, I was showing

179
00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:59,521
Speaker 2: that and I was showcasing that stuff, but I was

180
00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:03,521
Speaker 2: like literally depressed, like I was alone, I was lonely.

181
00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:05,561
Speaker 2: I felt like I didn't have anybody I could lean

182
00:08:05,601 --> 00:08:08,801
Speaker 2: on obviously, like outside of my family. And I just

183
00:08:08,961 --> 00:08:11,561
Speaker 2: remember thinking in that time, like what does it all matter?

184
00:08:11,761 --> 00:08:14,121
Speaker 2: Well for like what I'm gonna go fucking cry my Porsche,

185
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:17,521
Speaker 2: Like it sounds like a really privileged thing to be

186
00:08:17,601 --> 00:08:20,801
Speaker 2: able to say, but it's also that wasn't deeper than that.

187
00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:23,521
Speaker 2: It wasn't what mattered to me. Like, yes, it was

188
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:26,521
Speaker 2: a cool goal to have hit and achieved and be like,

189
00:08:26,561 --> 00:08:28,641
Speaker 2: oh cool. I was able to do that for the moment,

190
00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:32,280
Speaker 2: but it didn't really mean anything on like the underlying

191
00:08:33,281 --> 00:08:36,041
Speaker 2: like what I actually craved and valued out of life.

192
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:40,921
Speaker 2: I wanted connection and love and impact, and even me

193
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:43,521
Speaker 2: doing that as a job like financially trading, I was

194
00:08:43,561 --> 00:08:47,561
Speaker 2: like cool, But then what, I'm not impacting anybody. I'm

195
00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:48,521
Speaker 2: not helping other.

196
00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:50,441
Speaker 1: People fill you up and light you are.

197
00:08:50,561 --> 00:08:52,561
Speaker 2: No, it was very self focused and it was more

198
00:08:52,561 --> 00:08:54,401
Speaker 2: something that I was doing for myself. But I was like,

199
00:08:54,561 --> 00:08:58,161
Speaker 2: but there's still something missing. I didn't feel genuinely happy

200
00:08:58,161 --> 00:09:00,081
Speaker 2: in that time of my life, and I honestly felt

201
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,201
Speaker 2: the most lost in my life in that time, and

202
00:09:03,441 --> 00:09:06,361
Speaker 2: I remember just thinking like I can't continue doing this,

203
00:09:06,641 --> 00:09:09,321
Speaker 2: Like this isn't it for me? Because what I crave

204
00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:12,361
Speaker 2: is so much deeper than what I'm currently choosing, that

205
00:09:12,561 --> 00:09:15,561
Speaker 2: something about me has to change. I have to choose

206
00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:17,881
Speaker 2: different things. I have to look at the career that

207
00:09:17,921 --> 00:09:20,001
Speaker 2: I'm in and go, Okay, does this actually fulfill me?

208
00:09:20,121 --> 00:09:22,441
Speaker 2: Or is there something more for me? And be willing

209
00:09:22,481 --> 00:09:25,841
Speaker 2: to lean into that curiosity of the fear that I

210
00:09:25,881 --> 00:09:28,801
Speaker 2: felt of like changing that career yet again after doing

211
00:09:28,841 --> 00:09:31,761
Speaker 2: like fucking six temp jobs and having the pressure of

212
00:09:31,801 --> 00:09:34,161
Speaker 2: being like, well you didn't find the job, Another job

213
00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,121
Speaker 2: down the drain, another year lost, Like that was the

214
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:39,521
Speaker 2: mentality I was in at the time. But then also

215
00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:43,281
Speaker 2: same thing. With each job, I got closer to my passion.

216
00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:46,041
Speaker 2: I got closer to the thing that was fulfilling. Yeah.

217
00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:47,721
Speaker 1: And it's interesting too, Like we were talking all the

218
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,441
Speaker 1: way up about celebrities, yes, and how many of them

219
00:09:50,481 --> 00:09:53,321
Speaker 1: have done documentaries and they talk about how lonely they

220
00:09:53,361 --> 00:09:55,961
Speaker 1: are and from an outside it's like Taylor Swift and

221
00:09:56,041 --> 00:09:59,801
Speaker 1: Katy Perry and Salina Gomez, and it's sharing all these

222
00:09:59,801 --> 00:10:01,801
Speaker 1: celebrities that look like they have it all. They have

223
00:10:01,921 --> 00:10:05,321
Speaker 1: endless money, they have ravings, fans screaming how much they

224
00:10:05,361 --> 00:10:07,641
Speaker 1: love them. They have the house, they have the cars,

225
00:10:07,681 --> 00:10:09,521
Speaker 1: they can fly first class everyone, and you just look,

226
00:10:09,561 --> 00:10:11,921
Speaker 1: you think that's it. Yeah, But most of them, they've

227
00:10:11,921 --> 00:10:15,321
Speaker 1: said on the documentaries, have gone to bed so fucking lonely,

228
00:10:15,801 --> 00:10:18,961
Speaker 1: like it's just not it. As humans, we just crave

229
00:10:19,121 --> 00:10:21,961
Speaker 1: feeling like we belong to something. We want to help

230
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:24,721
Speaker 1: other people. We want to know that we're making a difference.

231
00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:28,161
Speaker 1: So it's a huge thing to talk about. I've got

232
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,561
Speaker 1: a few different steps that I learned throughout the process

233
00:10:31,601 --> 00:10:34,721
Speaker 1: that sound really simple, but help me learn as I

234
00:10:34,761 --> 00:10:37,081
Speaker 1: was going through this. Number one is to feel all.

235
00:10:37,521 --> 00:10:41,361
Speaker 1: To not put shame on feeling sad or depressed or anxious,

236
00:10:41,401 --> 00:10:43,241
Speaker 1: even though I have all the things. Do you think

237
00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,961
Speaker 1: about it? You know, when you're fighting with your partner.

238
00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:46,801
Speaker 1: We always talk about this. You're fighting with your partner.

239
00:10:47,241 --> 00:10:50,561
Speaker 1: It's the most draining fucking thing. Nothing feels good.

240
00:10:50,681 --> 00:10:53,641
Speaker 2: It impacts every everything. If your relationship is not good,

241
00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:54,961
Speaker 2: everything else suffers.

242
00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:57,561
Speaker 1: Can't work properly. I can't show up as a parent properly.

243
00:10:57,841 --> 00:10:59,441
Speaker 1: I can't buy my way out of that. I can't

244
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:01,801
Speaker 1: go buy a nice handbag. I feel better about my relationship.

245
00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:05,001
Speaker 1: It's the same thing, right, like money can't get you

246
00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:08,201
Speaker 1: out of feeling sad if you're feeling sad inside. So

247
00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:11,321
Speaker 1: just really feel all take the time to let it

248
00:11:11,361 --> 00:11:13,561
Speaker 1: all come out, come up, process it, and once we

249
00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:16,281
Speaker 1: always say that thing gives you clarity, remind yourself that

250
00:11:16,321 --> 00:11:19,121
Speaker 1: you're human. Just because you're rich doesn't mean you're exempt

251
00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:20,641
Speaker 1: from feeling sad or depressed.

252
00:11:21,121 --> 00:11:21,641
Speaker 2: You're human.

253
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,761
Speaker 1: Just because you're fit and healthy to have a six

254
00:11:23,841 --> 00:11:26,161
Speaker 1: pack doesn't mean you're going to have days where you

255
00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:29,041
Speaker 1: don't feel insecure, doesn't exempt you from anything. So just

256
00:11:29,081 --> 00:11:31,961
Speaker 1: remind yourself you're a human and what you're feeling is okay,

257
00:11:32,201 --> 00:11:35,001
Speaker 1: it's natural, it's normal. That just dissolves any shame, which

258
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:37,761
Speaker 1: helps you move through it. And then my next thing

259
00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:40,081
Speaker 1: is to explore and journal what exactly is coming up

260
00:11:40,121 --> 00:11:43,201
Speaker 1: for me and be completely honest about it. Don't sugarcoat it,

261
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,161
Speaker 1: don't tell yourself it's wrong or anything like that, Like,

262
00:11:45,321 --> 00:11:47,681
Speaker 1: really sit with that. In journal, I find just brain

263
00:11:47,761 --> 00:11:52,201
Speaker 1: dumping onto paper helps so much get help from friends, family,

264
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:54,281
Speaker 1: always talking about this, but just reaching out for support

265
00:11:54,361 --> 00:11:57,001
Speaker 1: through these times is so important to validate how you're

266
00:11:57,001 --> 00:12:00,041
Speaker 1: feeling because anyone close to you, I know now even

267
00:12:00,081 --> 00:12:02,961
Speaker 1: having this conversation doesn't matter what we have. We want

268
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,481
Speaker 1: to make sure that we're feeling fulfilled in your lit up.

269
00:12:05,521 --> 00:12:07,761
Speaker 1: And even when we get in little ruts, it's like, okay,

270
00:12:07,801 --> 00:12:10,481
Speaker 1: well have you been exercising, you haven't done dancing for

271
00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:12,521
Speaker 1: a while. Yeah, what have you been eating? Like all

272
00:12:12,561 --> 00:12:14,481
Speaker 1: those little things that make us feel really good. You

273
00:12:14,521 --> 00:12:16,161
Speaker 1: let go of those, of course you're gonna feel shit

274
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,281
Speaker 1: once again. It's not something money you can buy. You've

275
00:12:18,281 --> 00:12:20,641
Speaker 1: got to really actively do those things that light you up.

276
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,201
Speaker 1: We talk about this in a previous episode. But being

277
00:12:23,241 --> 00:12:26,081
Speaker 1: okay to change your mind. I once thought, once I

278
00:12:26,201 --> 00:12:28,641
Speaker 1: have the car, once I have the house, once I

279
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:31,321
Speaker 1: have the baby, once i'm married, once I have tick

280
00:12:31,361 --> 00:12:33,161
Speaker 1: tick tick the white, like all the things that you

281
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:36,401
Speaker 1: think you want. Once I got all that, I was like, shit, no,

282
00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:38,321
Speaker 1: it's not actually it for me. I'm going to change

283
00:12:38,361 --> 00:12:39,921
Speaker 1: my mind on what I want. I actually want to

284
00:12:39,921 --> 00:12:41,721
Speaker 1: feel more fulfilled. I want to make sure I'm making

285
00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:43,401
Speaker 1: more impact. I want to try new things, I want

286
00:12:43,441 --> 00:12:46,321
Speaker 1: to do this and that, and being okay to change

287
00:12:46,321 --> 00:12:49,481
Speaker 1: your mind. It's so important. And then one of the

288
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:52,361
Speaker 1: other things that just really gets me through is leaning

289
00:12:52,361 --> 00:12:54,921
Speaker 1: on gratitude. Yeah, it sounds so oh, of course she

290
00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:57,641
Speaker 1: says that, but it really helps. It really highlights what

291
00:12:57,681 --> 00:13:00,681
Speaker 1: you do have in your life and what's really important.

292
00:13:00,761 --> 00:13:03,441
Speaker 1: And it's not superficial things. It's what you choose to

293
00:13:03,441 --> 00:13:06,241
Speaker 1: focus on. If you focus on you will always get

294
00:13:06,241 --> 00:13:08,161
Speaker 1: what you find right. But if you focus on the

295
00:13:08,161 --> 00:13:10,041
Speaker 1: gratitude of what you do have, you're going to focus

296
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,961
Speaker 1: on the positivity of that and how those things make

297
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:15,441
Speaker 1: you feel, as opposed to highlighting all the things that

298
00:13:15,681 --> 00:13:17,281
Speaker 1: maybe don't feel the best right now.

299
00:13:17,481 --> 00:13:20,081
Speaker 2: And I love everything that you just shared, and something

300
00:13:20,121 --> 00:13:22,921
Speaker 2: that I would share to my clients is if you're

301
00:13:22,961 --> 00:13:26,521
Speaker 2: constantly chasing the thing outside of you to make you happy,

302
00:13:27,121 --> 00:13:29,721
Speaker 2: you are forever going to be following and chasing the

303
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:34,081
Speaker 2: dangling carrote but you never reach it. You never actually

304
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,121
Speaker 2: reach it. And you know what as well, Like, if

305
00:13:36,161 --> 00:13:39,361
Speaker 2: you haven't had some kind of financial success and that's

306
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,521
Speaker 2: your first goal, I feel like you almost need to

307
00:13:41,601 --> 00:13:44,801
Speaker 2: hit that to hit that realization of Oh my god,

308
00:13:44,881 --> 00:13:47,441
Speaker 2: this isn't it. You need to have that like awakening

309
00:13:47,481 --> 00:13:50,321
Speaker 2: moment of wow, this is not the fulfillment that I

310
00:13:50,401 --> 00:13:51,961
Speaker 2: was chasing and that I thought it was going to

311
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:55,041
Speaker 2: give me. But if you can condense that time, if

312
00:13:55,081 --> 00:13:57,801
Speaker 2: you want to skip that step and just look within

313
00:13:57,961 --> 00:13:59,961
Speaker 2: first and go, what is the thing that's actually going

314
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:03,881
Speaker 2: to create fulfillment within me? Now? How can I be happy? Now?

315
00:14:04,001 --> 00:14:06,761
Speaker 2: How can I find joy in the things that I choose?

316
00:14:06,961 --> 00:14:10,561
Speaker 2: Now you're going to completely skip that step of spending

317
00:14:10,721 --> 00:14:13,401
Speaker 2: years chasing the dangling carrot of the thing you think

318
00:14:13,681 --> 00:14:16,041
Speaker 2: is going to make you happy, and you actually get

319
00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:17,641
Speaker 2: to create that now, Like what you were saying about

320
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:20,801
Speaker 2: the gratitude you creating the happiness now within you. Now,

321
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,601
Speaker 2: with whatever it is that you have, whatever situation you're in,

322
00:14:24,241 --> 00:14:26,961
Speaker 2: you're going to only manifest more of that. You're only

323
00:14:26,961 --> 00:14:29,361
Speaker 2: going to create more of that because you're focusing on

324
00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:32,241
Speaker 2: what is good as opposed to what is lack. And

325
00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:34,641
Speaker 2: when you focus on lack, you get more lack.

326
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:36,921
Speaker 1: What you focus on is what you feel. What you

327
00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:38,201
Speaker 1: focus on expands more.

328
00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:38,681
Speaker 2: Yeah.

329
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:41,441
Speaker 1: So true, I feel like we keep relating it back

330
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,641
Speaker 1: to money. But I'm sure if you're in a position

331
00:14:43,721 --> 00:14:45,561
Speaker 1: right now you think money is going to make you happy.

332
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:47,881
Speaker 1: You could go and get a job that you fucking

333
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,241
Speaker 1: hated to earn more money, but you'll be miserable.

334
00:14:50,361 --> 00:14:50,601
Speaker 2: Yeah.

335
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,481
Speaker 1: I've used its example before, but it's like I've let

336
00:14:53,521 --> 00:14:55,881
Speaker 1: go of an active wad label that was making amazing

337
00:14:55,921 --> 00:14:58,441
Speaker 1: money and doing podcasting. Now it just doesn't earn nearly

338
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,681
Speaker 1: as much. This is like pocket money compared to what

339
00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:03,601
Speaker 1: I used to earn. But I am ten times happier.

340
00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:06,161
Speaker 1: I'm so much more it up. I'm so much calm

341
00:15:06,161 --> 00:15:08,361
Speaker 1: with my kids. I'm so much more excited for my days.

342
00:15:08,881 --> 00:15:11,961
Speaker 1: I love the whole process and journey. Whereas I felt

343
00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:13,401
Speaker 1: like Baseline got to a point where I was like,

344
00:15:13,441 --> 00:15:14,921
Speaker 1: I have to cover the bills and I've got to

345
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,241
Speaker 1: hit these goals and sell this amount. And once I

346
00:15:17,321 --> 00:15:19,361
Speaker 1: hit those goals and I had to make a bigger goal.

347
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:21,401
Speaker 1: I want to sell more, I want to do more collections.

348
00:15:21,481 --> 00:15:24,361
Speaker 1: I need to And it was constantly chasing more and more.

349
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,881
Speaker 1: But for what. Once I hit that goal, I wasn't

350
00:15:26,961 --> 00:15:29,601
Speaker 1: even celebrating. It was like straight away onto the next

351
00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:30,121
Speaker 1: big goal.

352
00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:33,361
Speaker 2: I was like, for what different energy? Isn't it whereas

353
00:15:33,921 --> 00:15:36,801
Speaker 2: even within the podcast, it's like we naturally have this

354
00:15:36,881 --> 00:15:39,121
Speaker 2: beautiful flow where things will just come up and then

355
00:15:39,121 --> 00:15:41,481
Speaker 2: we'll work on it. Yeah, celebrate and we have fun,

356
00:15:41,521 --> 00:15:42,801
Speaker 2: and then we work on the next thing. So it

357
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:46,201
Speaker 2: naturally has that progression. But it doesn't feel like chasing

358
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:48,081
Speaker 2: or chasing after a goal.

359
00:15:48,201 --> 00:15:51,361
Speaker 1: It's it's enjoying the process and journey. Yeah, because it

360
00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:53,161
Speaker 1: makes impact. It ticks the boxes.

361
00:15:53,321 --> 00:15:55,161
Speaker 2: Something you actually said to me when we did our

362
00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:58,121
Speaker 2: first in person event, and you said, I actually really

363
00:15:58,241 --> 00:16:01,641
Speaker 2: enjoyed the whole process of creating that event. It was like, yes,

364
00:16:01,681 --> 00:16:03,361
Speaker 2: the event was over in a couple of hours, but

365
00:16:03,561 --> 00:16:06,801
Speaker 2: the months leading up to that, so creating and getting

366
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:09,201
Speaker 2: everyone together and getting the teams together and us working

367
00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:11,961
Speaker 2: on a project together, all of it was so much fun.

368
00:16:12,001 --> 00:16:14,041
Speaker 1: I enjoy that just as much as what I actually

369
00:16:14,081 --> 00:16:16,641
Speaker 1: enjoy the event. Yeah. How cool is that to say?

370
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:18,481
Speaker 1: People would think it's just the event that you enjoy.

371
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:20,561
Speaker 1: The other stuff's hard, But it's like, no, I actually

372
00:16:20,641 --> 00:16:22,441
Speaker 1: enjoyed the whole process. And if you can do that

373
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,201
Speaker 1: in your everyday life, you are winning. That is successful.

374
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,561
Speaker 1: To me. Yeah, that is successful. Love it.

375
00:16:27,761 --> 00:16:29,681
Speaker 2: I think something that's really important to note as well

376
00:16:29,761 --> 00:16:33,641
Speaker 2: for anyone listening, is to just be willing to explore

377
00:16:33,641 --> 00:16:36,401
Speaker 2: what it is that the real you wants, because I

378
00:16:36,441 --> 00:16:40,201
Speaker 2: think there's a lot of pressure in society or like

379
00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:43,841
Speaker 2: social conditioning, or even from your peers social media, right

380
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:46,601
Speaker 2: especially in social media, that there's a specific way of

381
00:16:46,641 --> 00:16:49,561
Speaker 2: doing life, there's a specific way of doing things, and

382
00:16:49,601 --> 00:16:52,401
Speaker 2: you need to quotations fit inside that box. And it's

383
00:16:52,441 --> 00:16:55,481
Speaker 2: just not true. Like you are such a unique human

384
00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:58,641
Speaker 2: and you deserve to live the life that genuinely lights

385
00:16:58,641 --> 00:17:02,201
Speaker 2: you up and creates happiness and like genuinely makes you

386
00:17:02,241 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 2: excited to get up in the morning, Like it makes

387
00:17:04,121 --> 00:17:05,521
Speaker 2: you go, oh my god, I get up in the

388
00:17:05,561 --> 00:17:07,321
Speaker 2: morning with a skip in my step and I'm ready

389
00:17:07,321 --> 00:17:08,921
Speaker 2: to make my coffee and do all the things that

390
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 2: I want to get done for the day. But you've

391
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,440
Speaker 2: got to be able to dig deep and really be

392
00:17:13,521 --> 00:17:16,201
Speaker 2: honest with yourself about what you truly want, because right

393
00:17:16,241 --> 00:17:18,521
Speaker 2: now you might be living a life or leading a

394
00:17:18,561 --> 00:17:21,961
Speaker 2: life that you think others want you to live, but

395
00:17:21,961 --> 00:17:24,120
Speaker 2: that's not going to make you happy, No, it's just

396
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 2: going to feel like you're like living in this empty

397
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 2: shell of a life, like the lights are on no

398
00:17:28,761 --> 00:17:33,401
Speaker 2: one's home. They're just existing, and no one has their

399
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 2: sparkle when they're existing, when they're not truly living in

400
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:40,561
Speaker 2: alignment with what they genuinely want. Same thing goes for Actually,

401
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:42,921
Speaker 2: the same thing goes for me. We both experience that too,

402
00:17:43,001 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 2: and maybe if you're here, just be willing to discover

403
00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:49,720
Speaker 2: what it is that actually lies underneath your deep desires. Yes,

404
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:50,360
Speaker 2: I love that.

405
00:17:50,921 --> 00:17:54,441
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. I've spoken a lot about the different stories

406
00:17:54,481 --> 00:17:58,281
Speaker 1: that you tell yourself and when I quote unquote had

407
00:17:58,321 --> 00:18:00,041
Speaker 1: all the things, it was when I was going through

408
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,761
Speaker 1: the most hate online and it was really fucking hard,

409
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:05,481
Speaker 1: to the point where I just did not think there

410
00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:07,441
Speaker 1: was any light at the end of the tunnel where

411
00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:09,041
Speaker 1: I wanted to end my life because I thought this

412
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,880
Speaker 1: was it. And some of the stories I was telling myself,

413
00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:16,001
Speaker 1: which made me feel so stark and so depressed regardless

414
00:18:16,041 --> 00:18:19,001
Speaker 1: of everything that I quote and quite had, stories were like,

415
00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 1: the trolling is never going to stop. Everyone hates me,

416
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,761
Speaker 1: no one wants to be around me. This is my

417
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,920
Speaker 1: life now, there is no light at the end of

418
00:18:26,961 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 1: the tunnel. I should be happy because I have it all.

419
00:18:31,041 --> 00:18:33,241
Speaker 1: And I had to really change the way that I

420
00:18:33,281 --> 00:18:35,561
Speaker 1: spoke to myself because you can hear in that language.

421
00:18:36,041 --> 00:18:39,041
Speaker 1: It's first of all, it's very victim mentality. It's not

422
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,360
Speaker 1: the truth. Comments like no one wants to be around me,

423
00:18:42,441 --> 00:18:43,561
Speaker 1: that's not true, it's bullshit.

424
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,801
Speaker 2: It's an absolute statement.

425
00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:46,321
Speaker 1: There's a couple of haters that don't want to be

426
00:18:46,321 --> 00:18:48,880
Speaker 1: around me, for sure, But saying no one that's just

427
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 1: so limiting and so isolating. As well, everyone hates me. No,

428
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 1: everyone does not hate you. Yes, there's a pack of

429
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:58,360
Speaker 1: people that don't like you, for sure. There's thousands of

430
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 1: people that are literally screaming yourn in an arena. You

431
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 1: can't say everyone hates you. Yeah, but that language was

432
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,001
Speaker 1: so powerful, so I had to really switch that up.

433
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,001
Speaker 1: And how I did that, which I've spoken before, is

434
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:09,361
Speaker 1: getting professional help. That really got me out of it.

435
00:19:09,761 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 1: And also what I was using my money for changed.

436
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,721
Speaker 1: So when I first started to come into a lot

437
00:19:16,721 --> 00:19:18,961
Speaker 1: of money, it was just like buy the range drover,

438
00:19:19,561 --> 00:19:22,440
Speaker 1: buy the handbags, buy as many friggin' shoes as I wanted,

439
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 1: buy my friends everything, which just by bye by things, things, things,

440
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,761
Speaker 1: And yeah, that was fun and I still love doing

441
00:19:28,761 --> 00:19:30,120
Speaker 1: that now. If I can, don't get me wrong. I'll

442
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,721
Speaker 1: always love doing that. It gives me a little hit

443
00:19:31,761 --> 00:19:34,761
Speaker 1: a dope for me for sure. But it was actually

444
00:19:35,201 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 1: using my money to make a big difference. And I

445
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,321
Speaker 1: didn't even post about this because it wasn't for anyone

446
00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:42,561
Speaker 1: else's for me, But helping other families donating money where

447
00:19:42,561 --> 00:19:44,321
Speaker 1: I felt like they needed that kind of really gave

448
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,121
Speaker 1: me a lot more fulfillment and got me also out

449
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,120
Speaker 1: of my own head of what was going on in

450
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,921
Speaker 1: my life. Yeah, just seeing that there's actually people struggling

451
00:19:50,921 --> 00:19:53,521
Speaker 1: with so much and this is a collective thing. I'm

452
00:19:53,521 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 1: not special to be going through something really hard, Like,

453
00:19:56,201 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people and when we come together

454
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,281
Speaker 1: and we help each other, it gets you moving again,

455
00:20:00,681 --> 00:20:02,281
Speaker 1: and it gets you grateful for the problems that you

456
00:20:02,321 --> 00:20:04,521
Speaker 1: do have because you see some fucked up shit when

457
00:20:04,521 --> 00:20:06,281
Speaker 1: you put your head in the rabbit hole. And I

458
00:20:06,321 --> 00:20:08,801
Speaker 1: started using my money for different things rather than just

459
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,641
Speaker 1: materialistic things, and that really helped me find more happiness

460
00:20:12,681 --> 00:20:14,201
Speaker 1: with the money that I had. It sounds so crazy

461
00:20:14,241 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 1: to say, because anyone listening, I feel like they'd be like,

462
00:20:15,961 --> 00:20:17,641
Speaker 1: why is she complaining about having lots of money? I'm

463
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,281
Speaker 1: not complaining about it. Moral of the stories. It won't

464
00:20:20,281 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 1: make you happy. And what you do with your money

465
00:20:23,721 --> 00:20:26,801
Speaker 1: can contribute to your happiness, yes, of course. And fulfillment

466
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 1: and contribution and making impact because that's all the things

467
00:20:29,281 --> 00:20:31,481
Speaker 1: that I really value. I didn't value the handbag, Yes,

468
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:34,041
Speaker 1: I love them, I didn't value them. I valued making

469
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,561
Speaker 1: a difference. I wanted to use my time, my resources,

470
00:20:36,561 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: and my money to be able to make huge impact.

471
00:20:39,041 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 2: It was like, you use that money as a way

472
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,521
Speaker 2: to make it go further. Yes, because it created impact

473
00:20:43,561 --> 00:20:45,441
Speaker 2: within you and impact in other people's life.

474
00:20:45,561 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 1: Made me happy? Yeah, Yeah, it wasn't the things that

475
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,561
Speaker 1: made me feel truly happy. What a journey to go on.

476
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,041
Speaker 1: Even saying this out loud, I'm like, wow, I just

477
00:20:53,041 --> 00:20:54,601
Speaker 1: grew up in a family with no money. I never

478
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,521
Speaker 1: thought i'd be in a position where I had as

479
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,761
Speaker 1: much money. Yeah, but it's a cool journey to go on,

480
00:20:58,801 --> 00:21:00,321
Speaker 1: and so many lessons in there that I got to

481
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,801
Speaker 1: learn throughout that and really realized what is important.

482
00:21:02,921 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 2: It's like what I was saying before, It's like you

483
00:21:04,201 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 2: kind of need to go through the experience of getting

484
00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:08,321
Speaker 2: the things that you want because you think that's what

485
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 2: you want, and then once you get there, you're like,

486
00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 2: oh wait, there's more to this. There's more here for

487
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:16,281
Speaker 2: me to explore, because I want more out of life.

488
00:21:16,321 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 2: And it's not more materialistic, even though we love materialistic things.

489
00:21:20,521 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 2: You want more depth, you want more substance, you want

490
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,481
Speaker 2: more fulfillment, you want more love like growth.

491
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,481
Speaker 1: I had this conversation with Steve a little while ago

492
00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:29,160
Speaker 1: because we were talking about what we want to do

493
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 1: with the podcast and whether it's the end of this

494
00:21:31,321 --> 00:21:32,921
Speaker 1: year or next year. We want to be bringing out

495
00:21:32,961 --> 00:21:35,641
Speaker 1: courses and stuff. And I get excited about all of it,

496
00:21:35,801 --> 00:21:37,801
Speaker 1: the development of it, the impact we get to make,

497
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 1: the money that's been made.

498
00:21:38,961 --> 00:21:39,880
Speaker 2: And he pulled me up.

499
00:21:39,921 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 1: He was like, but you don't need to make more money, bag, Like,

500
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,281
Speaker 1: we're good. I had to explain to us it it's

501
00:21:44,321 --> 00:21:47,121
Speaker 1: not about the money that we get from it. It's

502
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:51,961
Speaker 1: the sense of achievement. It's the growth. It's actually celebrating

503
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:55,001
Speaker 1: that Tiana and I have done that together because I

504
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 1: found in base sline and previous businesses, even high Toway like,

505
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 1: we just we don't celebrate when we hit a milestone

506
00:22:01,201 --> 00:22:03,201
Speaker 1: or we have amazing launch. It's like, cool, that's done.

507
00:22:03,241 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 1: Now onto the next we have spoken about consciously when

508
00:22:06,801 --> 00:22:09,361
Speaker 1: we achieve things and do things, we're going to celebrate

509
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 1: it with a weekend away. We got by ourself something

510
00:22:11,681 --> 00:22:14,521
Speaker 1: special and we really go, fuck, yeah we did that.

511
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 1: Not only are we making impact, but it's not about

512
00:22:17,281 --> 00:22:19,521
Speaker 1: the money. It's the journey of getting the money and

513
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,681
Speaker 1: hitting those goals and feeling it's a sense of achievement.

514
00:22:21,761 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 1: And the money feels really good because it's helped a

515
00:22:24,721 --> 00:22:27,160
Speaker 1: lot of people. Yes, it's a different meaning behind the

516
00:22:27,201 --> 00:22:27,681
Speaker 1: money now.

517
00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:30,761
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like the money is a representation of

518
00:22:30,801 --> 00:22:33,561
Speaker 2: impact made. Yeah, and being able to do that together

519
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:37,761
Speaker 2: and experience that together. It's shared achievement and shared experience

520
00:22:38,001 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 2: in impact because we both have that same value one

521
00:22:40,801 --> 00:22:43,561
Speaker 2: hundred and then also connecting with other women who also

522
00:22:43,761 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 2: have that value as well of us. That's unworrying. It

523
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:50,001
Speaker 2: really is. It's the growth seekers, fabe, it is. It's

524
00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:50,961
Speaker 2: for the growth seekers.

525
00:22:51,001 --> 00:22:52,881
Speaker 1: Mum's always said, since I was a little girl, I've

526
00:22:52,921 --> 00:22:55,481
Speaker 1: just had this like inner drive that was just so

527
00:22:55,561 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: strong that I just wanted to do a lot of things,

528
00:22:58,041 --> 00:23:00,401
Speaker 1: and even for money. For us, we've spoken about when

529
00:23:00,441 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: we hit certain goals, we earn certain amounts of money,

530
00:23:02,721 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: like where we can help, what charities we want that

531
00:23:05,521 --> 00:23:07,481
Speaker 1: to go. It was like an instant, easy conversation and

532
00:23:07,561 --> 00:23:09,120
Speaker 1: of course we want to do that. What do we

533
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,001
Speaker 1: want to do with that? How much can we donate?

534
00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 1: Where can we do that? When can we do that?

535
00:23:12,441 --> 00:23:13,561
Speaker 2: Where can we go? Yeah?

536
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,201
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really cools, such a different energy behind it.

537
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,961
Speaker 2: I loved the point that you were making before around

538
00:23:19,201 --> 00:23:22,561
Speaker 2: celebrating what we're doing together because it just like it

539
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,041
Speaker 2: brings in the fun that we were talking about, and

540
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,401
Speaker 2: like the impact it allows us to enjoy what we're

541
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,521
Speaker 2: doing so much more. And I really really want to

542
00:23:30,561 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 2: like stress the importance of how having fun on the

543
00:23:34,281 --> 00:23:36,360
Speaker 2: journey makes it such a better journey.

544
00:23:36,921 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: You know.

545
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,281
Speaker 2: It's like, yes, you can have the goals, and yes

546
00:23:39,321 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 2: you can want for the car and the house and

547
00:23:41,241 --> 00:23:44,121
Speaker 2: the whatever it is that you desire. There's nothing wrong

548
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,241
Speaker 2: with that. Like, actually, I encourage you to have those

549
00:23:46,281 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 2: goals because it will push you to be better. But

550
00:23:48,481 --> 00:23:52,601
Speaker 2: it's not the destination. It's literally the journey. And if

551
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,961
Speaker 2: you can enjoy the journey, amazing. If you can find people.

552
00:23:56,681 --> 00:23:59,481
Speaker 1: To go on the journey with better let's say, with

553
00:23:59,561 --> 00:24:02,001
Speaker 1: weight loss, right, Yeah, you think it has to be

554
00:24:02,521 --> 00:24:06,201
Speaker 1: hard and restrictive and punishing and just, oh, I've got

555
00:24:06,201 --> 00:24:08,121
Speaker 1: to do six months of dieting like this to get

556
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: to my goal. That's a bullshit story. Actually doesn't have

557
00:24:10,761 --> 00:24:12,961
Speaker 1: to be like that. You're better off finding a way

558
00:24:13,001 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 1: of eating that you actually enjoy. So it's beyond the

559
00:24:15,201 --> 00:24:18,481
Speaker 1: six months. You can maintain your body and feel confident

560
00:24:18,521 --> 00:24:20,880
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life because you thoroughly enjoy it.

561
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: Why does it have to be hard? It doesn't, And

562
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:26,041
Speaker 1: celebrating is so important. I want everyone listening to think

563
00:24:26,041 --> 00:24:28,961
Speaker 1: about your last achievement, your last five achievements. Did you

564
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 1: actually celebrate it or do you quietly sweep under the

565
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: rug because you dont want people thinking you're cocky or

566
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,880
Speaker 1: you're want to rub it in anyone's faces.

567
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,161
Speaker 2: Or worried about tall poppy syndrome.

568
00:24:36,281 --> 00:24:38,241
Speaker 1: No, it's not the right time. Someone else is going

569
00:24:38,241 --> 00:24:40,921
Speaker 1: through something and you've just like swept your stuff under

570
00:24:40,921 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 1: the rug. Not a way to live. You deserve to

571
00:24:43,561 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 1: enjoy the journey, You deserve to celebrate, and the right

572
00:24:45,721 --> 00:24:47,521
Speaker 1: people around you want to celebrate that with you.

573
00:24:47,961 --> 00:24:51,161
Speaker 2: I think also it's important to note with that it's yes,

574
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 2: other people might be going through their things as well,

575
00:24:53,041 --> 00:24:55,041
Speaker 2: but it doesn't mean that they can't hold you in yours.

576
00:24:55,281 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 2: And the people who love you and care about you

577
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 2: are going to want to hold you in that. So

578
00:24:58,481 --> 00:25:00,561
Speaker 2: they're not going to want you or encourage you to

579
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,241
Speaker 2: hold back the things that are important to you simply

580
00:25:03,281 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 2: because they're going through something. Thing we talk about often

581
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 2: where maybe I'm in the trenches and then you're in

582
00:25:08,441 --> 00:25:10,561
Speaker 2: the trenches too, and we're like going through some shit together,

583
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 2: and I'm like, babe, bring it in. Yeah, Like I know,

584
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 2: I've like cried to you yesterday for like twelve hours,

585
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,360
Speaker 2: but you know, bring it in because I've got space

586
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 2: for you and I want you to bring it in.

587
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,321
Speaker 2: Whether it's good, bad, heavy, scary, ugly, whatever it is, like,

588
00:25:22,561 --> 00:25:24,361
Speaker 2: you always can bring it in. And I think it's

589
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 2: important to know that you're allowed to take up space,

590
00:25:26,561 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 2: and especially when it comes to achievements, You're allowed to

591
00:25:29,481 --> 00:25:32,001
Speaker 2: be big, you're allowed to be audacious, shit, You're allowed

592
00:25:32,001 --> 00:25:32,761
Speaker 2: to take up space.

593
00:25:33,801 --> 00:25:35,681
Speaker 1: We've spoken about this before on TikTok. At the moment,

594
00:25:35,681 --> 00:25:38,481
Speaker 1: I love seeing business owners talk about their achievements. Yeah.

595
00:25:38,521 --> 00:25:40,721
Speaker 1: I used to judge and think it was cocky. Yeah, oh,

596
00:25:40,761 --> 00:25:42,680
Speaker 1: look at them bragging how much they've made I'm like,

597
00:25:42,761 --> 00:25:45,241
Speaker 1: hell no, now, I'm like, fuck yeah, you're celebrating yourself

598
00:25:45,281 --> 00:25:45,761
Speaker 1: and you should.

599
00:25:45,801 --> 00:25:47,561
Speaker 2: They're proud you have put so much.

600
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,640
Speaker 1: Work in and you've achieved a huge goal. Good on

601
00:25:49,681 --> 00:25:52,321
Speaker 1: you for celebrating that loud, Like, good on you. It's

602
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:53,041
Speaker 1: so freaking cool.

603
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 2: It's so funny as well. It depends on who you

604
00:25:55,041 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 2: focus on, right, It's like, Okay, those people might be

605
00:25:57,281 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 2: posting that to celebrate because they know the other business

606
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 2: owners and people who are inspired by that are going

607
00:26:02,441 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 2: to run with that and go, holy shit, look at

608
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,641
Speaker 2: what's pop. Yeah, But then it's like, you can also

609
00:26:07,721 --> 00:26:09,801
Speaker 2: focus on the opposite. If you choose to, it's not

610
00:26:09,801 --> 00:26:11,841
Speaker 2: going to benefit you. What about all the people who

611
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,681
Speaker 2: are going to judge me for being materialistic or superficial

612
00:26:14,761 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 2: or egotistic or whatever the label. But like, what you

613
00:26:18,001 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: focus on grows like you can either choose to impact

614
00:26:21,041 --> 00:26:22,801
Speaker 2: the people who are like you, or you can choose

615
00:26:22,801 --> 00:26:25,041
Speaker 2: to be scared about the people who are going to

616
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,681
Speaker 2: say something about what you're choosing and doing. But ultimately

617
00:26:28,681 --> 00:26:31,001
Speaker 2: you get to decide, and it's just so much better

618
00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 2: on the other side when you can just choose to

619
00:26:33,441 --> 00:26:36,561
Speaker 2: assume the best about other people and know that people

620
00:26:36,561 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 2: will actually see you and hear you on your journey

621
00:26:38,481 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 2: and it's safe to do those things.

622
00:26:41,281 --> 00:26:43,881
Speaker 1: So to wrap up, money doesn't buy happiness, and get

623
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,281
Speaker 1: clear on what you really really want and find a

624
00:26:47,321 --> 00:26:50,321
Speaker 1: way that you can enjoy the journey, not just when

625
00:26:50,321 --> 00:26:52,561
Speaker 1: you get to the destination, and celebrate your fucking winds

626
00:26:52,561 --> 00:26:55,801
Speaker 1: when you deserve too. Yeah. Absolutely, hope you guys enjoyed

627
00:26:55,801 --> 00:27:00,120
Speaker 1: today's episode and we'll see you say on Wednesday.

628
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:00,881
Speaker 2: Bye bye,