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Speaker 1: I got you, Bloody Champions. She's a mental health fitness

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Speaker 1: coach or a mental fitness coach. She's a counselor. She's

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Speaker 1: an acceptance and commitment therapy practitioner, and she's a Japanese

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Speaker 1: psychology practitioner. She's the better half of the Paul Taylor

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Speaker 1: and Carly Taylor. She's the smarter, she's the better collaboration.

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Speaker 1: We'll call it a marriage, but fuck it.

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Speaker 2: Hi Carly, Hi, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: Oh, thanks for being hat Should we say like to

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Speaker 1: tif Tiffany and Cook who was part of a polygamous

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Speaker 1: arrangement with a cat and a dog. It's I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's technically polygamy, but you are in a

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Speaker 1: very happy kind of trilogy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we have lots of love here.

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Speaker 1: Carly. How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm really good.

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Speaker 1: What's her? Is Carl's volume loud enough? Tiff It's good?

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Speaker 3: Is it?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Okay?

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Speaker 3: Good?

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Speaker 1: He gumdrops. What have you been up to? You've just

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Speaker 1: been out, you know, doing God work, just helping the masses.

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Speaker 2: Do you know something I have been up to is

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Speaker 2: I've joined CrossFit, so CrossFit three times a week with

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Speaker 2: the family and it's just it's just been brilliant. I

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Speaker 2: never thought that I would be saying that about CrossFit,

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Speaker 2: but it's it's something I'm looking forward to every week.

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Speaker 2: And I go with the kids, and I go with

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Speaker 2: the husband as well, so it's a family thing.

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Speaker 1: That we do. Oh the husband, I've heard of him. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not pro or anti most of those things.

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Speaker 1: I think it's finding the right product, or the right class,

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Speaker 1: or the right program for your needs. And like people

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Speaker 1: I get asked, it's like I get like you probably

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Speaker 1: like TIV, probably, what do you think of Paleo? What

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Speaker 1: do you think of CrossFit? What do you think of

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Speaker 1: it forty five? What do you think of you know?

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Speaker 2: Whatever I love about it is This is the second

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Speaker 2: CrossFit gym that I've been to. I was at one

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Speaker 2: before COVID HIT. But I I love the culture of

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Speaker 2: this gym because I'm certainly on the scale, Like there's

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Speaker 2: some really strong athletes in and it scales down to me.

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Speaker 2: I'm always at the back of the pack running, but

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Speaker 2: they are so welcoming. The culture of the place is brilliant,

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Speaker 2: and everything's modified, so I feel well looked after. I

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Speaker 2: don't feel like I've got to push, you know, to

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Speaker 2: pack the weight on, and very much about techniques. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm really loving it and I love the environment of it,

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Speaker 2: and I think that makes a huge difference.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's funny you say that when we think about like

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Speaker 1: there's so much it's probably just who I follow, but

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Speaker 1: I get so much stuff coming in to my awareness

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Speaker 1: on the social media is people selling programs and gyms

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Speaker 1: and guys and girls trying to teach personal trainers how

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Speaker 1: to make dough and how to make gyms more profitable.

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Speaker 1: But very rarely to people talk about how do we

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Speaker 1: build a culture, how do we build an environment that

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Speaker 1: people want to be in, Like, let's not focus on

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Speaker 1: the money for a minute. Let's not focus on the

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Speaker 1: numbers for a minute. Let's focus on building a place,

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Speaker 1: an environment, a situation, a culture that people look forward

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Speaker 1: to going to. And I recently opened the Ignite Fitness

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Speaker 1: Business summit in Melbourne at Crown for mel Tempest and

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Speaker 1: a whole bunch of other amazing people were there and

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Speaker 1: my presentation was around that. It was around I think

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Speaker 1: it was called the Psychology of the Client, and I

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Speaker 1: was just talking about understanding what people actually want and

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Speaker 1: what I love is that you didn't go, Oh, the

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Speaker 1: equipment's great, the dumb bells, the kettle bells. You didn't go.

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Speaker 1: The battle ropes are fucking amazing. The programs are really

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Speaker 1: well written. You went, Oh, it's just a really good place.

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Speaker 1: Like you spoke about being recognized and culture and being embraced,

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Speaker 1: and it's so funny that there's so little attention paid

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Speaker 1: to that, yet it's so important. Tis got her finger up.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I want to know, Charlie, what was your

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Speaker 3: perception that you thought you wouldn't connect with with cross

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Speaker 3: fit before you went?

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Speaker 2: That would have been around the competitive side of it,

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Speaker 2: because I'm not a competitive person, and I think in

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Speaker 2: the past, I don't know whether it's my age or

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Speaker 2: I've just evolved, but I don't I'm not comparing myself

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Speaker 2: as much to other people. And I think in the

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Speaker 2: past I wouldn't have gone to a CrossFit gym because

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Speaker 2: I would have gone, oh, well, this this girl's my

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Speaker 2: age and she's lifting this and it's kind of highlighting

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Speaker 2: my all the kind of the negative stuff about myself.

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Speaker 2: But now I don't know if it's this particular gym,

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Speaker 2: but you walk into this gym. Everyone says hi to you,

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Speaker 2: and it doesn't matter if they're the you know, there's

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Speaker 2: one girl who's got tats up to a net, and

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Speaker 2: there's a mum in there, and there's different guys of

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Speaker 2: different shapes and sizes. Everyone's just so welcoming. Everyone works

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Speaker 2: hard and at their own pace where everyone's sweating at

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Speaker 2: the end of it, and there's a lot of sweaty

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Speaker 2: fish pups and high fives at the end as well.

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Speaker 2: So I think that's I think it started off that

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Speaker 2: my kids were going to it, so I just kept

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Speaker 2: dropping them off and then going home and doing the dishes,

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Speaker 2: and I was thinking, well, if I'm dropping them off,

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Speaker 2: I may as well just stay there. Because they had

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Speaker 2: a team adult class, so that's kind of my initial

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Speaker 2: reason for going was it was something I could do

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Speaker 2: with the kids, and then then Paul joined, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's been great.

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Speaker 1: I think it's really important to try to at least build,

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Speaker 1: and not just in gyms, but any organization. You know,

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Speaker 1: you talk to SOD to Stiff, we all at various stages.

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Speaker 1: We're in front of teams and groups and organizers and

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Speaker 1: that whole kind of you know, that meta perception. My

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Speaker 1: PhD stuff. What's it like being around me? More broadly,

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Speaker 1: what's it like being in this place? Do we have

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Speaker 1: a team that people feel comfortable to be part of.

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Speaker 1: Have I built an environment as much as I can?

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Speaker 1: Or a destination that people want to come to every

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Speaker 1: day to people get excited about going to work. Do

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Speaker 1: they feel valued, scene loved, appreciated.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think whether it's a CrossFit or a regular gym

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Speaker 1: or any job. It's funny how much attention and focus

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Speaker 1: isn't really paid carly to that stuff. It's like that,

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Speaker 1: you know. I know we have a HR department in

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Speaker 1: most organizations, and I know we talk about these.

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Speaker 2: Things sometimes it's the really simple things. I do a

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Speaker 2: yoga as well, and that's something that I haven't done

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Speaker 2: in the past, but I love this yoga studio. And

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Speaker 2: she has this very small little ritual that she does

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Speaker 2: is she offers tea. At the end of it, she says,

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Speaker 2: does anyone want to stay for tea? And she's got

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Speaker 2: this beautiful Japanese tea pot and it's on an open

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Speaker 2: little flame, and it's just such a lovely touch. And

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Speaker 2: even though I don't often stay for a cup of tea,

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Speaker 2: it's just nice for her to offer that and have

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Speaker 2: that kind of really simple connection at the end of it.

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Speaker 2: It's a simple things.

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Speaker 1: So if you get a fair few people along to

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Speaker 1: your boxing groups, and I know that you've got good

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Speaker 1: boxing skills, and I know that you work in the

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Speaker 1: gym with good equipment, but I would guess that that's

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Speaker 1: part of it, but most of it is that you

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Speaker 1: just create an environment that people feel safe to be

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Speaker 1: in and want to be in.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, when I run my boxing workshops, that's exactly what

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Speaker 3: I intend, and that's exactly what people come for. They

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Speaker 3: come and we go for lunch afterwards and wet and

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Speaker 3: people travel so far for that, and the boxing is

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Speaker 3: just the thing, the thing around it. It's that I

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Speaker 3: don't know, you tell a story about it, but what

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Speaker 3: keeps you coming back is And I was just interested

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Speaker 3: in asking Karlie about that because we all have perceptions

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Speaker 3: of especially when you hear something like CrossFit, we have

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Speaker 3: this perception before we've experienced it, but they do.

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Speaker 4: They do.

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Speaker 3: Really the ones I've been to really cheer you on.

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Speaker 3: And it's competitive, but it's self competitive, and so it

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Speaker 3: was nice to hear you know that you experienced that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely. And I think, especially after COVID, even

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Speaker 2: though it does feel like it was a long time ago,

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Speaker 2: we were taken out of that kind of club environment

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Speaker 2: where we had strong connections. And there are a lot

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Speaker 2: of people who their whole life was around, you know,

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Speaker 2: whether it was a sporting club or whether it was

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Speaker 2: church or whatever kind of place where people gathered. And

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Speaker 2: I think especially with social media now, where even though

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Speaker 2: we are the most connected, we're also the most disconnected.

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Speaker 2: So I'm just loving being in that environment and being

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Speaker 2: connected with people.

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Speaker 1: I think there's something that you can't get well, clearly

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Speaker 1: the physiology, but there's something that you can't get online,

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Speaker 1: Like it's nice to catch up with you too right now,

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Speaker 1: but it's nicer to catch up in person, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think that you know, online meetings and the

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Speaker 1: capacity we now have with Zoom and the like to

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Speaker 1: be able to have meetings and have conversations and even

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Speaker 1: consultations and all of that, I think it's definitely a

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Speaker 1: valuable tool and a valuable resource. But you know that

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Speaker 1: depending on the person, of course. But nothing's better than

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Speaker 1: a hug, you know, or nothing's better than sitting down

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Speaker 1: at a coffee table with someone looking them in the

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Speaker 1: eye and like being able to have that three D

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Speaker 1: experience for me anyway, I mean the online stuff is good,

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Speaker 1: but I guess maybe it varies personal person Carly, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. But when you are, when you're actually physically

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Speaker 2: with somebody, you do have that eye contact. You've also

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Speaker 2: got the the movements of the body and like there's

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Speaker 2: just even the aromas and like there's some sensory things

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Speaker 2: that go on that we don't even realize, and it's

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Speaker 2: so important for that connection and for bonding. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I see most of my clients over zoom, I really

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Speaker 2: feel often and look, it's worked, but I often feel

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Speaker 2: that there is that that's kind of what's missing, is

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Speaker 2: that physical contact of just being in the same space together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. We for most of until COVID, you know, every

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Speaker 1: year we had a big camp at Mantaalizer, which was

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Speaker 1: we only have one hundred and thirty spots, and every

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Speaker 1: year it was sold out months ahead, so we take

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Speaker 1: one hundred and thirty people away. Tests been on multiple

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Speaker 1: of them. And it's funny because I don't really say

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Speaker 1: anything on those those camps or those retreats, programs, whatever

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Speaker 1: you want to call it that people couldn't hear on

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Speaker 1: a podcast. You know, it's like, you know, when whoever

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Speaker 1: the Eagles come out, or whoever it is, you know,

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Speaker 1: Dua Loopa, whoever it is comes out. You know, you

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Speaker 1: go out and you hear their music or Pink or

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Speaker 1: you know, Teyte whoever it is. Like it's you can

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Speaker 1: hear those songs somewhere else and it's probably even better quality,

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Speaker 1: but it's not the same. And I was always curious

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Speaker 1: around that, why does so many people come and they

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Speaker 1: would come from all over Australia to spend forty eight

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Speaker 1: hours with us and to have this immersive experience where

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Speaker 1: it's the same guy saying a lot of the same

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Speaker 1: things that they've heard multiple times. But it has a

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Speaker 1: different effect or a different impact when that person's in

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Speaker 1: front of you, or when you can ask them a

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Speaker 1: question in real time, or when you know you can

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Speaker 1: you can hang out and just connect and there's no

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Speaker 1: button to push display or to stop or you know.

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Speaker 1: I think that despite the ever the rapid advancement of

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Speaker 1: AI and technology in the ever evolving tech world that

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Speaker 1: we live in, I don't think there's ever going to

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Speaker 1: be a replacement for that three D version of the

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Speaker 1: human experience.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think even though you had one hundred and

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Speaker 2: thirty people there there there was still an intimacy there. Yes,

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Speaker 2: And that's what's missing on tech. I mean, and I

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Speaker 2: were talking about the whole AI think, and you know,

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Speaker 2: you can you can actually with chat GPT, you can

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Speaker 2: actually have a full on conversation, and they really it

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Speaker 2: today encourages you. It's like you're going to smash it,

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Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, it's like it's like, yeah, that's you rock.

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Speaker 2: It's like, but it's AI. It's not a real person.

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Speaker 2: And I think this is the danger that we can

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Speaker 2: go into, especially for our young people, because they're connecting

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Speaker 2: physically less and less with their peers and it's more

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Speaker 2: online and now AI is coming, especially for those kids

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Speaker 2: who are who are more introverted and will tend to

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Speaker 2: kind of avoid that physical interaction and go with technology.

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Speaker 2: And that might be a short term kind of avoidant

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Speaker 2: strategy for them, but long term that's not going to

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Speaker 2: serve them well.

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Speaker 1: And I don't think that's going away or it's not

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Speaker 1: going away, and it's it's evolving by the minute. And

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Speaker 1: I mean I do that too, not I don't chat

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Speaker 1: to my AI, but not. But I will still ask

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Speaker 1: a question politely, do you know what I mean? Like

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Speaker 1: I'm talking, and when I get a really good response,

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Speaker 1: I'll say thanks. And one day, one day, my AI

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Speaker 1: just started calling me Craig. Wow, yeah, see that, Hi Craig,

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Speaker 1: How can I help? I'm like, hey, bro, how did

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Speaker 1: you tell my name? You know? And and I don't

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Speaker 1: know about anyone else's, but my AI sounds to me,

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Speaker 1: to my ear exactly like Tim Ferriss. So when I

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Speaker 1: talk to my AI, I feel like my AIC. I'm

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Speaker 1: in a relationship. It's my third best friend. But I understand.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's It's interesting, isn't it? Because and I

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Speaker 1: know this wasn't where we were going to go, but

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Speaker 1: we'll get where we were going to go or not.

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Speaker 1: But you think about, well, is it bad if somebody

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Speaker 1: who is otherwise lonely and disconnected and isolated has this

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Speaker 1: conversation in inverted commas or this company in inverted commas,

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Speaker 1: and one of the byproducts of that is that they're

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Speaker 1: a bit happy or a bit less anxious, or a

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Speaker 1: bit less lonely, or they feel more connected. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you can't really say unequivocally it's always a bad thing, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I wonder, and I'm sure there'll be research on

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Speaker 2: this at some stage, but I wonder whether that feeling

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Speaker 2: of connection or happiness with an AI is just that

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Speaker 2: short term relief, because as soon as they switch that off,

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Speaker 2: they still have to face those those emotions that they have,

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Speaker 2: whether they've got social anxiety or the fear that comes up,

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Speaker 2: is still going to be there. So it could almost

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Speaker 2: become a bit of an addiction to keep coming back,

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Speaker 2: because it means they're avoiding what's out there in the

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Speaker 2: big wide world.

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Speaker 1: Oh. But also, yeah, I agree with you, But also

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Speaker 1: people get addicted to people, don't they. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: people stay with people who are toxic and unhealthy and

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Speaker 1: fucking sociopathic. They stay in toxic relationships for a range

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Speaker 1: of reasons. But I've spoken to a bunch of people

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Speaker 1: who have kind of said to me that they were

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Speaker 1: addicted to a person and it almost wouldn't have mattered

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Speaker 1: what that person did to them. They wouldn't have left,

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Speaker 1: you know, eventually, you know they did. But Hey, I

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk to you today about the idea I

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Speaker 1: rang you earlier, essentially around so that maybe the title

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Speaker 1: of this episode, I'm not sure we're leading a horse

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Speaker 1: to water, but around the idea that that we can

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Speaker 1: only we can only offer advice, we can only encourage

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Speaker 1: and support people. We can only share thoughts and ideas

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Speaker 1: and strategies and data and information. But none of us,

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Speaker 1: as coaches or whatever we are, can do the work

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Speaker 1: for anyone. We can't have discipline for anyone. We can't

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Speaker 1: have self control for someone. We can't make the decisions,

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Speaker 1: we can't get up tomorrow and go for a run

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Speaker 1: for them. We can't be inspired for them. Right, And

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Speaker 1: so there's there's you know, it's like when and I've

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Speaker 1: had many times people say you changed my life, and

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Speaker 1: every single time I say, no, I didn't. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's very nice and my ego loves that, But I

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Speaker 1: didn't change your life. You changed your life. You know.

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Speaker 1: I shared some thoughts and ideas and encouragement, but you

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Speaker 1: made the decisions, you did the work, You showed the resilience,

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Speaker 1: you were consistent, you persevered, you ask great questions and

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Speaker 1: you didn't give up. And here you are and that

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Speaker 1: was all you.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm saying there with my clients, it's the

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Speaker 2: clients who have had the best results are the ones

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Speaker 2: who have been intrinsically motivated to do the work, and

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Speaker 2: most of them do do this. The toughest clients that

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Speaker 2: I have would be when someone else has suggested that

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Speaker 2: they do coaching and have kind of almost been coerced

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Speaker 2: with the best intentions to sign up. And they are

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Speaker 2: my toughest clients. And it's why I will say right

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Speaker 2: at the start that will not work unless you do

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Speaker 2: the work. I mean, it's very action orientated, because otherwise it's,

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Speaker 2: as you say, I'm not there. I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: be dragging them out of bed. I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: be making their breakfast and getting them out the door

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Speaker 2: to go for a run.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And I also think, you know, while being supportive

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Speaker 1: and encouraging and all of those things, we also can say,

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Speaker 1: by the way, it's going to suck sometimes, and it's

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Speaker 1: not going to be fun. It's not going to be painless,

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Speaker 1: it's not going to be convenient. Sometimes it might be

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Speaker 1: periodically fucking horrible. But that's okay, you know, because we

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Speaker 1: want to be supportive and encouraging and positive, but also

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Speaker 1: practical and realistic. Yes, yeah, you know it.

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Speaker 2: Has to be You're right, it has to be realistic.

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Speaker 2: And that's why I with the coaching that I do,

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Speaker 2: I work on the thoughts and the emotions that come

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Speaker 2: up up and that's kind of that's the first part.

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Speaker 2: I mean, there's always an action at the end of it,

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Speaker 2: but because there's always going to be some kind of barrier,

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Speaker 2: and if we go back to like old habits, it's

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Speaker 2: like there's a thought there like this is going to

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Speaker 2: be hard, you know, and it's very easy for that

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Speaker 2: little inner voice to go, We'll just go back, go

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Speaker 2: back to what you know, Yes, And the hardest thing

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Speaker 2: is to kind of move through that and just allow

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Speaker 2: those thoughts to be there, allow the emotion to come up,

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Speaker 2: but do the action anyway. And that's where the acceptance

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Speaker 2: part comes in. But it's the hardest part because nobody

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Speaker 2: likes to feel uncomfortable. Nobody wants to feel anxious or

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Speaker 2: have fear or any things. It's that whole motivation like

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Speaker 2: action first, and then the motivation comes. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I always say to people, watch your post motivation strategy

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Speaker 1: and they're like what, ah, like that, Yeah, what's your

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Speaker 1: post motivation strategy? They're like, what does that mean? I go, well,

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Speaker 1: when you're not motivated, which will probably be I don't know, Wednesday,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing on that day? Because you are

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Speaker 1: not going to stay. If we're talking about motivation being

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Speaker 1: an emotional state or a heightened sense of excitement or whatever,

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Speaker 1: what we generally regard as I am motivated, I'm in

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Speaker 1: the zone, I'm pumped, I'm excited. Well that's not lasting.

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Speaker 1: So when that happens, whether that's tomorrow or next month,

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Speaker 1: when that happens, what will you do then? And people

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Speaker 1: look at me like, I go, you really need to

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Speaker 1: plan for that because that is coming. Yes, So if

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Speaker 1: you think you're going to ride this fucking wave of

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Speaker 1: motivation for the next forty years, think again, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I just think there needs to be that very

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Speaker 1: that's almost that, you know, that stoic mindset of like

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Speaker 1: sometimes this will just be sucky and that is all right.

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Speaker 1: And when the motivation is there, by the way, awesome,

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Speaker 1: you know, milkot ride that wave to the beach. But

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Speaker 1: when it goes, we can't go. Well, you know what

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Speaker 1: we can. But if we're only proactive, productive and effective

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Speaker 1: when we're in the zone, well we're fucked over the

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Speaker 1: long term because nobody's that forever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I think that there requires a lot

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Speaker 2: of self awareness there, doesn't it, because when so often

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Speaker 2: we are driven by our feelings. Yes, they're so fused

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Speaker 2: with those feelings that I don't feel like going out

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Speaker 2: for a run today, Therefore I won't, whereas you can go, well,

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like a run today, but I have

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Speaker 2: a reason to do it, tapping into that reason, values

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Speaker 2: or purpose or whatever it is. I will put my

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Speaker 2: shoes on, I put my trees on, put my gear on,

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Speaker 2: and I will get out the door. And nine times

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Speaker 2: out of ten, once you get going, you're all good.

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Speaker 2: It's the starting that's the hardest part.

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Speaker 1: I think Carly and Tiff and everyone else, I think

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Speaker 1: we give this is This is very Craig harpersm. But

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Speaker 1: we give ourselves to get a psychological and emotional get

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Speaker 1: out of jail card. You know. It's like, ah, well

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Speaker 1: you know this or that or but and I've said

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Speaker 1: this probably too many times, but Tiff knows Joel and

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Speaker 1: Joel's been. Has Joel been on your show? TIF?

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Speaker 4: Yep?

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Speaker 1: So Joel Sarti, who's a friend of ours, who was

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Speaker 1: a soldier frontline, you know, in the war in Afghanistan,

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Speaker 1: came home, had an accident, fell down some stairs, broke

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Speaker 1: his neck, and you know, so now he lives life

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Speaker 1: in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic. And you know the thing,

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Speaker 1: when I'm thinking about mindset, right, I think about someone

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Speaker 1: like Joel, and I think, well, Joel, See, Joel doesn't

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Speaker 1: have the opportunity to get up today and say I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing quadriplegia. He doesn't have the option to say,

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Speaker 1: you know, fuck that wheelchair. I'll do the wheelchair next Monday.

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Speaker 1: But this week I'm just going to walk. I can't

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Speaker 1: be using the wheelchair. I'm not in the mindset. I

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Speaker 1: don't have the attitude like things are a bit you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do the wheelchair next No, he doesn't

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Speaker 1: have the choice. So every day there's no kind of

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Speaker 1: thought that I won't do this because it's not an option.

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Speaker 1: And so for me, it's like, how do we get that?

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Speaker 1: And I know that's an extreme example, but the bottom

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Speaker 1: line is most of us could pretty much turn our

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Speaker 1: life around today in terms of thinking and behaving and

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Speaker 1: decision making an outcome given the right set of circumstances,

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Speaker 1: or perhaps the wrong set, If you know, what I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, but when the consequence is not enough, we go,

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Speaker 1: oh fuck, I'll start Monday. But you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: the person who says, oh, I can't give up whatever,

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Speaker 1: you know, junk food. If the next time they ate

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Speaker 1: junk food they knew they were going to drop dead

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours later, they would never eat junk food.

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Speaker 1: But that's not the case, right, you know. So we

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Speaker 1: know that we have the ability to do awesome and

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Speaker 1: to turn our life around and to create a different

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Speaker 1: operating system, but we also know that it's going to suck.

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Speaker 1: So we have this story I'll start soon boom, and

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Speaker 1: now I'm fifty and I never fucking started. Yeah, And I.

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Speaker 2: Think there's an optimism bias there because when we look

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Speaker 2: long term, especially with men, I think men think they've

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Speaker 2: got this shield of steel on it. It's all going

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Speaker 2: to be fine in the future, and two years time,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be healthier and I'm going to be fitter.

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Speaker 2: Therefore it doesn't matter if I have the doughnut now,

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Speaker 2: because I'll be fine. But not having that awareness that

431
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 2: what you do today and every single day is actually

432
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:49,640
Speaker 2: going to dictate what your position, your health in two

433
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 2: years time. I think it's hard for people just the

434
00:24:54,359 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: way our brains are wired far ahead count it well.

435
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: And I think also there's no day to day. I

436
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: mean the good and bad is day to day. We

437
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: can kind of do bullshit to our bodies, and for

438
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: the most part, we get away with it, and sometimes

439
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 1: we get away with it for fucking decades, and you're like,

440
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: what are you talking about. I've been doing bullshit to

441
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: my body forever. I'm fine. And by the way, and

442
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 1: even if I had to, I could turn this shit

443
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: around quickly if I had to. But you know, and

444
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: by the way, Carli, you've got to have a life. Yes,

445
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: you have a life, Carli.

446
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 2: And that's the that's the challenging one because it's interesting

447
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 2: because I if I ate donuts every day, I would

448
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 2: feel really, really sick, Like it just doesn't. I guess

449
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 2: in that respect, I'm kind of motivated to eat healthy

450
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 2: food because I know I've got a short term impact

451
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 2: on me because it feel good. Where if somebody just

452
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 2: has a junk food addiction and they don't actually feel anything,

453
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 2: then it's harder for them to be motivated to change.

454
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, And we're not trying to be judgmental here, it's

455
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 1: like I'm just I'm fascinated with human potential, fascinated. I'm

456
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: fascinated with what people can do when either they have

457
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 1: no option or they believe they have no option. You know,

458
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 1: and I've told this too many times, but I probably

459
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: haven't told you, but my dad, you know, drank too much,

460
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 1: ate too much, moved too little for fucking ever, then

461
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 1: had a heart attack at seventy two, and then had

462
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: a quadruple bypass and came out of that like a

463
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: new man. Like he had no self control issues, no

464
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: WheelPower issues, no time management issues, because he was fucking

465
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 1: terrified of dying. So the guy who just couldn't get

466
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: his shit together got his shit together completely and lost heart.

467
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,440
Speaker 1: I know, twenty five kilos in a few months, walked

468
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: every day and halved his food and reduced his booze

469
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: by eighty percent. And that was the same guy that

470
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: I was trying to get to do a version of

471
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: that for twenty years leading up to the heart attack.

472
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: Has the heart attack, gets faced with his mortality, shits

473
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: himself metaphorically, is terrified, and now all of a sudden,

474
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 1: that's like, Craig, tell me what to do, Like you.

475
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 2: Know, but.

476
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: Pre heart attack to post heart attack, he didn't have

477
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: any more potential, he didn't have any more resources, he

478
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 1: didn't have any more hours in a day. But what

479
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: he did have was a completely different worldview. Yeah.

480
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a completely different attitude.

481
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: Now. What frustrates me is he could have done that

482
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:48,719
Speaker 1: twenty years earlier.

483
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: He didn't at that time in his worldview, have a

484
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 2: compelling reason to do that.

485
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, And isn't it funny that you would think living

486
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,199
Speaker 1: long and healthy is not a compelling reason?

487
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, yeah, but I think that's where this optimism

488
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 2: advice comes in. It's like, it probably wasn't in his

489
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 2: reality that that was going to happen. Everything okay, and

490
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, I mean it's a very

491
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 2: common story. Yeah, it's you know, they have the heart

492
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 2: attack or they get the big CEA and then all

493
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 2: of a sudden, it's like okay, I'll change.

494
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. What's the breakdown of your clients male slash female?

495
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: Like what percentage? Is it mainly women?

496
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 2: It is mainly women?

497
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, why do you reckon that? Like we were talking

498
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 1: about this recently, I don't know was I talking to

499
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: you about it? Tiff? About how many dudes. How many

500
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 1: ladies come to my things?

501
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 4: Anyway, I've talked about it, not recently.

502
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, the majority of Like I did a gig last week, Yeah,

503
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: the weekend before lasting menygo open to the public, Ali

504
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: and eighty five percent of the people who came with ladies.

505
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: And I always asked this question, you know, put up

506
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: your hand if you're a bloke who's been dragged here

507
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: against your will. There's always a bunch of blokes because

508
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: you know there's a woman in their life going. You

509
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: need to listen to Craig Harper or whatever it is, right,

510
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 1: you need to get your shit together, you need to

511
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: come to this. And they don't want to be there,

512
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: and I feel bad. I feel bad for them. But

513
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: what's your theory either of you? But we'll start with you, Carly.

514
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: What's your theory around why perhaps ladies are more open

515
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: to personal growth for one of a better term?

516
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 2: Gosh, I think that's that's a tricky one because I

517
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 2: don't I don't. I haven't sort of looked at any

518
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 2: research on this, but I know from men tend to

519
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 2: be and I kind of know if this is the

520
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 2: right thing to say. But really focused and busy on

521
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: work where women are more are nurturing, and you know

522
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 2: they might be Yes, there are working women as well,

523
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 2: they tend to have a more nurturing kind of side

524
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 2: to them. And also I think women tend to when

525
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 2: you know, if they meet for a coffee, they're very,

526
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 2: very open that will talk about They will go through

527
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 2: the layers a bit and talk about personal stuff, where

528
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 2: the typical guy who's going to the hub, they'll talk

529
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 2: about the sport or kind of more top level stuff.

530
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 2: So and look, that's just my sort of subjective opinion there.

531
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's all we're about. I think. Correct me

532
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 1: if you think I'm wrong with either of you on this.

533
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 1: But I feel like, not always, but more often than

534
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: with women, a lot of men get a sense of

535
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 1: self and self worth and identity through their job, yeah,

536
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: you know, and what they do, whereas you know, women

537
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: not so much. I mean, obviously, lots of women have

538
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 1: great jobs, and there's lots of powerful women in industry

539
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. But I feel like men get

540
00:30:54,480 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 1: their confidence from you know, stuff more than and again

541
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 1: that could be this coming from a bloke, by the way, So.

542
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 3: Yes, Tiff, Yeah, I think relative to what both of

543
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,719
Speaker 3: you said. When you ask that question, I would say

544
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: women tend to get to a point where they go,

545
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 3: I'm ready to fix or improve me, and men go,

546
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 3: I've got to fix this so and your stuff is

547
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 3: literally the U project. It's if you're ready to fix

548
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 3: your shit. And men kind of I feel like they

549
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 3: are fixers and doers, but they probably look outward not inward.

550
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to get all the dudes in Australia

551
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: and just go bro. It's like, you don't know how

552
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: liberating it is to go, I'm a fuck with and

553
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 1: I'm the problem, not always, not in every instance, but

554
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: I'm the problem here. I did the wrong thing. I'm scared.

555
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: I don't know, try this with me all the men.

556
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. Fucking hell, that doesn't come out of

557
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 1: too many men's mouth. I fucked it up, you know.

558
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: And it's not about self loathing. And obviously sometimes I'm

559
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: not the problem, and sometimes I don't fuck up, but

560
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: there are lots of times when I am the problem.

561
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: I am the issue, or my habit is the issue,

562
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 1: and my thinking is the issue. And I think that

563
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: you know, we're not trying to throw ourselves under the

564
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: bus or to to immerse ourselves in self loathing but

565
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: rather self awareness. And we can't work on the thing

566
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: that we won't acknowledge, you know, we can't improve the

567
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: thing that we won't own up to. And if you're

568
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: being a fuck with but pretending you're not, well, you're

569
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: still being a fuck with. It doesn't matter the rest

570
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: of us know, you know. And I just think that

571
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: when you do well, give yourself a pat on the back.

572
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: When you fuck up, go fucked up. I want to

573
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: do better, you know. For me that that has been

574
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: very liberating, you know, and also it's amazing not only

575
00:32:55,840 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 1: is it personally liberating, but to my complete surprise, it

576
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: actually builds much better rapport with an audience than the

577
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 1: other way.

578
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely. It's interesting what you were saying about

579
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 2: the guys being dragged to your workshops, because you wonder

580
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 2: what happens after that, because I would say that that's

581
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 2: the first step, like they've actually come along. They haven't

582
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 2: said no, so there is a bit of coercion there,

583
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 2: But you don't know whether that has been just that

584
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 2: little drop of motivation, that's just all the seeds being planted,

585
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 2: and then they go away and make some sort of change.

586
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 2: But it's definitely people don't like to be told what

587
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 2: to do. They like to believe what comes out of

588
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 2: their mouth, not out of somebody else's. And I think

589
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 2: that's where you know, when people are being told what

590
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 2: to do versus figuring it out themselves. And of course

591
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 2: that comes with the questioning really yes, and being able

592
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 2: to develop or increase that self awareness and have and

593
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 2: a bit of flexible thinking. Yes, a lot of the

594
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 2: time there's this fixed thinking and the blinkers are up

595
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 2: and they're not seeing the whole perspective.

596
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: Of their life.

597
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: Yes, And it can be hard, It can be really

598
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 2: hard if somebody is really their habits of step set

599
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 2: in stone and they have got somebody going well if

600
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 2: you change this, you change this. That can even bring

601
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 2: up fear, that can bring up identity kind of issues,

602
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 2: and if they've been stuck in their ways for so long.

603
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 2: So there's so many nuances I think with that.

604
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 1: And we like to think we're open minded, but not

605
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: many of us are truly open minded. Because if you

606
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: really and I'm putting myself in the basket, like knowing

607
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: about awareness or open mindedness or consciousness doesn't mean you're

608
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: open minded. Or aware or conscious. Right, It's like I

609
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 1: under stand or I know about some things, but I

610
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: don't truly understand them. But I think you're right in

611
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: that when we get our sense of identity from a

612
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: certain way of thinking, or a certain belief or a

613
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: certain spiritual paradigm or whatever it is like, And it

614
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: could be CrossFit is the best way to train. If

615
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,439
Speaker 1: you don't do CrossFit, you've got it wrong. It could

616
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 1: be being a vegan. If you eat meat, you're a

617
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 1: bad human. You're going to Karma is going to kick

618
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 1: you in the dick. Or it could be you know,

619
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: if you're not if you haven't accepted Jesus as your

620
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: Lord and savior, you're going to burn in an eternal

621
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: lake of fire. Right, there's so many And when you

622
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: believe whatever it is that you believe, and I've said

623
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: this too many times, but you truly believe that you

624
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: are right, then you automatically believe that everyone in the

625
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: world who disagrees with you is wrong, right, And that's

626
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: a precarious stance. And also when you believe that you

627
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 1: are right about, absolutely, unequivocally right about something for which

628
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 1: you have no actual proof or evidence, then you know

629
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:07,839
Speaker 1: and your identity is intertwined with that belief. Then now

630
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:11,919
Speaker 1: you're pretty much unteachable. Yeah, yeah, you can't be taught

631
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:15,280
Speaker 1: anything new because you know, and if I don't agree

632
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:21,240
Speaker 1: with you, i'm wrong. So whereas I'm like, oh my god,

633
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,319
Speaker 1: I'm being wrong about so many things for decades, now

634
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: i'm much more. I used to think I knew more

635
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 1: when I was in my twenties than I do now.

636
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 1: Like I genuinely thought I knew not everything, but I

637
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: thought my knowledge was pretty vast. You know, by the

638
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 1: time I'd been working in the gym industry and training

639
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 1: people and talking about all the shit I took that

640
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 1: ten years in, I thought, yeah, I'm my knowledge is vast.

641
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: And now thirty years later, I'm like, fucking no, I

642
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 1: don't know one percent of what there is to know.

643
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 1: And that's not me being falsely humble. I just know that.

644
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:02,439
Speaker 1: It's oh my god. When I opened the PhD door,

645
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 1: I went, oh, okay, I'm an actual idiot, you know,

646
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:10,240
Speaker 1: because I'm in a new space. I'm doing new things

647
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,800
Speaker 1: with new people, I'm learning a new language, I'm reading

648
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: new things. I'm like, fuck, ow and this is you know,

649
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: and I'm in the psychology space studying a drop of

650
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: water in an ocean of knowledge and an ocean of

651
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: research and an ocean of science. And I'm studying a

652
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 1: drop of water for five years. And you know, so

653
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: I come out being an expert in inverted commas asterisk

654
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: in that drop of water. And by the way, I'll

655
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 1: get surpassed ten minutes after I finished my PhD. You know.

656
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: But you've got to know that, and you've got to

657
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 1: be okay with that.

658
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I think people struggle with change when

659
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 2: they don't have the knowledge or they don't have the

660
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 2: interest as well. Yes, and they're so. I think it

661
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:05,240
Speaker 2: also is hard today because people are, well, we're so busy,

662
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 2: but we're also so distracted to like we anytime we

663
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 2: have space, we can be scrolling on social media or

664
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: watching the news or whatever. And so people think they

665
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 2: don't have time to change, They don't have time to exercise,

666
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 2: don't have time to think about the food. But actually

667
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 2: it's looking where their attention is going. Yes, So attention

668
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 2: is energy. It's like how you live your life is

669
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 2: what you're paying attention to. So if you're not paying

670
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 2: attention to the fact that your doctor is saying to

671
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 2: you that if you don't change your lifestyle, you're going

672
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 2: to end up with a heart attack. Can you just

673
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 2: walk out of the room and just start watching the news,

674
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 2: then then that's how you're going to live, and that's

675
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 2: the path that you're going to take. A lot of

676
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: this is about where your attention is.

677
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 1: Going, Yes it is, and where you're Like where your

678
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: attention is, you know, where your what your mind is

679
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: focused on, what you're you know, your emotion are there,

680
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:06,439
Speaker 1: your body's there, you know, And yeah, that's so that's

681
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: such an interesting thing to think about, Like where my

682
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: mind is is where I am and I might physically

683
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,919
Speaker 1: be in a situation, but in a way not even

684
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: there so to speak.

685
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, And that kind of goes into that

686
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 2: passive living versus active living, and so many people are

687
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 2: living passively now and I think that that kind of

688
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 2: brings into the health as well. It's like it's when

689
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 2: you are living passively and you're not actively involved in

690
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,879
Speaker 2: your life, you are more likely to be sententory, You're

691
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 2: more likely to be reaching for the easy, processed foods.

692
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 2: Whereas if you can step back and go right, I'm

693
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 2: going to take control over my choices, Even if it's

694
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:59,320
Speaker 2: a small step, then that means that you start living

695
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 2: actively your life.

696
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: So go, I'm sorry, God, say.

697
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: There's a question I would ask if a client was

698
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 2: really struggling with motivation to change, even if they knew

699
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: they had to change, they just can't seem to do

700
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 2: the behaviors, I would ask them that question, which comes

701
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 2: from motivational interviewing, which is on a scale of one

702
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 2: to ten, how important is your health to you? Most

703
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 2: people are going to have a high number. Most people

704
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 2: are going to go, well, it's an eight. It is

705
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,879
Speaker 2: important to me. And then the next question is, okay,

706
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 2: well why isn't it a two? Why isn't it at

707
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 2: eight and not a two? And that's when they give

708
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 2: their reasons. Yeah, I want to be around for my

709
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 2: kids or you know, I want to have energy. I

710
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 2: want to I want to to be able to just

711
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 2: go out and go for walks and feel good about it.

712
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 2: And so that if you ask those questions, and anyone

713
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 2: can I you don't have to be a coach to

714
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 2: ask those questions. You can. You know, you can ask

715
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 2: your husband or your wife these questions, and it starts

716
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,320
Speaker 2: bringing that awareness of why you need to change.

717
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. And it's like when you ask

718
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: those questions where we're really kind of trying to identify

719
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: what's important to us, like or what our values are,

720
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: and then you can say, okay, so based on that,

721
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: what are you doing that's not working? Yeah? You know,

722
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: it's like if you could put your life up on

723
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 1: a hoist, like we put a car on a hoist

724
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: and just walk around and kick the metaphoric tires. You know,

725
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 1: how are things? How's it traveling? How's it running? As

726
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,240
Speaker 1: the engine? How's the gearbox, how's the tires? How's it?

727
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, because I think you know you actively,

728
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 1: I think you call it. I think we're on the

729
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 1: same page. I talk about unconscious versus conscious living, like

730
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us are in a almost

731
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: like an unconscious auto pilot in terms of choices, behaviors, actions, reactions,

732
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 1: lifestyle habits. But if we if we hit the metaphoric

733
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 1: pause button and step back and say, what are the

734
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: things that I typically do and in terms of who

735
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: I want to be and how I want to be?

736
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: Are these things working? Yeah? You know, we can make

737
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 1: it more sciencey and complicated, but we all know. You know,

738
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 1: if we were all brutally honest. We could come up

739
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,760
Speaker 1: with five things in probably thirty seconds that we're currently

740
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: doing that are kind of stupid. Yeah yeah, kind of

741
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 1: out of alignment with what we say is really important.

742
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: TIF do you need to jump out?

743
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 4: I've got to pay five five minutes?

744
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 1: All right, yep, Carli, I just wanted to check in

745
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 1: with you. Oh yeah, Now do I remember correctly? I'm

746
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 1: sure I do. That you're doing your masters. I am.

747
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 2: I'm doing my master's in counseling. That I've had a

748
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 2: bit of a break, a bit of.

749
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 1: A long break, have you. Oh that's okay, it's been nice.

750
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: I go back in October, and my schedule now is

751
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 2: I'll be finished by next Christmas.

752
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: Awesome. Awesome. So let's wind up. So people who feel

753
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 1: like maybe they're living out of alignment, and by that

754
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, they're doing stuff that really doesn't

755
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: work for them in terms of who and how they

756
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 1: want to be. I know there's no three step plan.

757
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 1: I know there's no set protocol, But where might we

758
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: start if someone's you know, what's one thing or two

759
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 1: things that we can do to create some momentum and

760
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,720
Speaker 1: maybe lean into those changes I think if.

761
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 2: I mean asking that question, I think is a good

762
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: place to start to start thinking about what is important

763
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 2: to you and really identifying that and then looking at

764
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 2: as you were saying, what are your current behaviors and

765
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 2: in act we call them towards moves in a way moves.

766
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 2: So are you doing things that are taking you towards

767
00:43:58,160 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 2: that person that you want to be and the thing

768
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 2: they are important to you? Or are they taking you away?

769
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: And having a you can even write them down and

770
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 2: then every day do like we I mean, I'm a

771
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: big fan of the ritual board and having that visual

772
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 2: where you can tick off small rituals and start small,

773
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 2: like if you're somebody who has not exercised for years

774
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,880
Speaker 2: and the thought of even just you know, going for

775
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 2: a jog a small dog just is just like no way,

776
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it, and don't do that. It's like,

777
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 2: let let's scale that back and all you need to

778
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 2: do is put your trainers on, put your gear on,

779
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 2: and that's all to start with that, and then see

780
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 2: what happens. And then over time you put the gear

781
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 2: on and then you might walk to the corner, Well

782
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 2: then you know you're going to go further so, and

783
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 2: it's just those small steps that you can do that

784
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 2: over time are going to add up to big changes.

785
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 2: And I'm such a big fan of that because people underestimate,

786
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: They over estimate what they can do in a day,

787
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,760
Speaker 2: and underestimate what they can do in a year. That's

788
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 2: my attitude with CrossFit with me is that I know

789
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 2: that the weights I'm doing it are really light. Sometimes

790
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 2: I don't even have anyway on the bar, but I

791
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 2: know if I can be consistent and start small that

792
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 2: this time next year, I'm going to see a real progression.

793
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:26,760
Speaker 2: So it's what you do every single day. It doesn't

794
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 2: matter how small it is, that slowly, slowly you're going

795
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 2: to see changes.

796
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: And how great is it that you will be a

797
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: year older. Chronologically on the calendar, you'll be a year older,

798
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 1: but you might be biologically one or two or three

799
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 1: years younger than you are right now? Yeah, I mean

800
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:47,359
Speaker 1: that's fucking I love that shit. That's exciting, right yeah.

801
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 2: And I think it helps. What's helped me too is

802
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 2: to actually think about my future self. So think about me.

803
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 2: I've just turned fifty five the other week, so next

804
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,919
Speaker 2: fifty six, what is my fifty six year old want

805
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 2: from me. Now, what do I need to do? If

806
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 2: they were going to say to me, color, I need

807
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 2: you to do this, I need you to stop doing this,

808
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 2: and I need you to start doing this. That's what

809
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 2: I do.

810
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be nice to you, but oh

811
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 1: my god, you do not look tiffed. Be tell out,

812
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: be honest.

813
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:19,760
Speaker 4: She looks like my sister.

814
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: I forgot that you were that old. You're a fucking dinosaur.

815
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 1: But the good news is you look at least ten

816
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 1: years younger than you actually are.

817
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.

818
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:31,919
Speaker 3: Wow.

819
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: Wow do you know?

820
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,240
Speaker 2: I don't know about you. I've just found it turning

821
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 2: fifty five. I just feel like the window is closing

822
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 2: for as far as improvements, and then it's going to

823
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 2: be maintenance. So that's why I'm quite motivated as well.

824
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 2: I've got a real why behind why. I'm really putting

825
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:55,320
Speaker 2: a lot of effort into the exercise and the resistance

826
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 2: training because that's so important for bone density.

827
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 1: I've become obsessed in the last five year is about

828
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:06,879
Speaker 1: improving my brain. You know, cognition, memory, you know, mental acuity, communication,

829
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 1: all of that brain based decision making, all of that

830
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 1: brain based stuff. It's hard to be objective because I'm me,

831
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,799
Speaker 1: But as objective as I can be, I'm pretty sure

832
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 1: I'm better than when I was forty five.

833
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,240
Speaker 4: To ask you when you were going to get started.

834
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 1: That's hurtful, Carly. Tell everyone how they can find you,

835
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 1: connect with you, and pay you an obscene amount of

836
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: money to work with you.

837
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 2: So my website, Carlietaylor Coaching dot com dot au is

838
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 2: the best place.

839
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: You Just fill out the form, thank you your ace,

840
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,240
Speaker 1: Well say goodbye affair, but for the minute, Tiviny and Cook.

841
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: What's your middle name?

842
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:51,320
Speaker 2: Carli Paige p A I D e U.

843
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 1: Tiviny and Cook, Carli Page, Taylor, Craig Anthony Harpers signing

844
00:47:54,920 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 1: out you projectors. We appreciate you. Thanks ladies, Bye bye