1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:25,281 Speaker 1: Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I 2 00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:29,081 Speaker 1: A Bad Mom? Podcast? Or on Instagram too. Please feel 3 00:00:29,121 --> 00:00:30,081 Speaker 1: free to send us. 4 00:00:29,961 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 2: Your memes Instagram at am I A Bad Mom? Do 5 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,841 Speaker 2: you see them all go up all at once because 6 00:00:35,881 --> 00:00:38,601 Speaker 2: I sort of am hit and miss on Instagram at 7 00:00:38,601 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 2: different times. 8 00:00:40,281 --> 00:00:41,641 Speaker 1: Do you know it's nearly school holidays? 9 00:00:41,801 --> 00:00:41,961 Speaker 2: Yeah? 10 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:42,201 Speaker 3: I do. 11 00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:44,161 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just thinking that then, Yeah, it's nearly 12 00:00:44,161 --> 00:00:44,761 Speaker 2: school holiday. 13 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,161 Speaker 1: Someone said that to me this morning. I was like, 14 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,001 Speaker 1: we've literally just had the holidays. 15 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 2: I actually think that your girls are nearly going to 16 00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,721 Speaker 2: be on holidays right. We are in the changeover of 17 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:57,721 Speaker 2: term three to term four. This is the official countdown. 18 00:00:57,761 --> 00:00:59,401 Speaker 2: This is when people start coming up to you and go, 19 00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:03,441 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, only like twelve weeks still Christmas, and 20 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:07,281 Speaker 2: you're like, shut up, I haven't even thought about presents yet. 21 00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:10,881 Speaker 1: I do love Christmas, but I definitely haven't planned for 22 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,681 Speaker 1: the expense of it. Again, remember that one year you 23 00:01:13,721 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: did lay by. Remember that you were so planned. You 24 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,921 Speaker 1: did it all in like June July, and then it 25 00:01:18,961 --> 00:01:21,361 Speaker 1: came bit by bit, you paid it off bit by bit, 26 00:01:21,441 --> 00:01:23,601 Speaker 1: and you took it to the ladies at the charity 27 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: and the shopping center and wrapped it all there you 28 00:01:27,041 --> 00:01:31,361 Speaker 1: were sat with a Champagne Christmas sing was once done. 29 00:01:31,441 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 3: I nailed it once. 30 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,361 Speaker 2: I think it was Target and Big w I did 31 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 2: their mid year toy sales extravaganza. I think that they 32 00:01:39,401 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 2: call it, which is like forty to fifty percent off 33 00:01:42,241 --> 00:01:44,121 Speaker 2: and then just lay by it. And I was like, 34 00:01:44,161 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 2: that's great, because I did. I've got some mighty fine bargains. 35 00:01:47,961 --> 00:01:51,321 Speaker 1: I'm wondering whether I mentioned this last year. I was like, 36 00:01:51,321 --> 00:01:53,441 Speaker 1: wouldn't it be great? This was after I saw like 37 00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,921 Speaker 1: from the boxing Dale sort of January sales and I 38 00:01:55,921 --> 00:01:58,561 Speaker 1: saw everything go on sale that I would read all 39 00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: and it really annoys me. I remember saying, why don't 40 00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:05,841 Speaker 1: next year just we don't buy Christmas and then we 41 00:02:05,881 --> 00:02:07,241 Speaker 1: all have an amount of money we can go and 42 00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:09,921 Speaker 1: spend in the sales. It takes the fun out of 43 00:02:10,001 --> 00:02:14,361 Speaker 1: the actual Christmas Day stuff. But I'm wondering whether my 44 00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:16,321 Speaker 1: kids are now at the age where I could just 45 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,481 Speaker 1: give them money, like wrap it up in a box 46 00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:22,561 Speaker 1: or something, make it look pretty and just go here, go, 47 00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: here's a Westfield gift card or whatever. Yeah, look yourself out, 48 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: and then you're buying. 49 00:02:26,481 --> 00:02:29,041 Speaker 2: It all in sale. Yeah, I like that idea, and 50 00:02:29,161 --> 00:02:32,601 Speaker 2: especially the older that they get is better because we 51 00:02:32,721 --> 00:02:33,921 Speaker 2: sort of lose track of. 52 00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:36,401 Speaker 1: What they want to choose their own stuffy because they 53 00:02:39,321 --> 00:02:43,561 Speaker 1: anyway I can buy my kids close even stuff that 54 00:02:43,601 --> 00:02:46,361 Speaker 1: I look back on, Rachel. I've got some like little 55 00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:48,881 Speaker 1: mini skirts and stuff that you know, I wore back 56 00:02:48,921 --> 00:02:50,681 Speaker 1: in the day, and I'm like, that's really nice, Like 57 00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:52,201 Speaker 1: that would I'm too old for it now, but that 58 00:02:52,201 --> 00:02:54,921 Speaker 1: would look really cute on you. And they literally look 59 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,361 Speaker 1: at it, and I reckon if one of their friends 60 00:02:57,401 --> 00:02:59,841 Speaker 1: had the exact same thing and said would you like this? 61 00:02:59,921 --> 00:03:02,281 Speaker 1: They go, yeah, I love it, but literally because it 62 00:03:02,361 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: was owned by me, they want to do with a 63 00:03:05,841 --> 00:03:09,561 Speaker 1: disgusting gross I wouldn't seem dead in that from like 64 00:03:09,761 --> 00:03:18,321 Speaker 1: years ago. It's like a social suicide. 65 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:26,041 Speaker 3: Am I a bad mom for party on a phobia? 66 00:03:27,361 --> 00:03:29,441 Speaker 3: I don't know, but it's a phobia actually is a 67 00:03:29,441 --> 00:03:30,561 Speaker 3: phobia fear. 68 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:33,721 Speaker 2: Definitely something that proves like that moment of like oh 69 00:03:33,721 --> 00:03:37,761 Speaker 2: I really can't cope when that happens. I think you 70 00:03:37,961 --> 00:03:40,561 Speaker 2: think about it a little bit more as your sort 71 00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:42,241 Speaker 2: of kids get older and you can see sort of 72 00:03:42,481 --> 00:03:46,641 Speaker 2: certain patterns start to happen or conversations you might have 73 00:03:46,761 --> 00:03:53,881 Speaker 2: with them. And I have always had the wonderful add 74 00:03:53,921 --> 00:03:56,641 Speaker 2: on of when I was a kid, and I only 75 00:03:56,681 --> 00:04:01,041 Speaker 2: started like when I was probably Gracie's age now. If 76 00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,481 Speaker 2: we took long car trips, I was always that kid 77 00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:06,081 Speaker 2: in the back with the bucket it because I got 78 00:04:06,081 --> 00:04:07,041 Speaker 2: really bad cast sick. 79 00:04:07,161 --> 00:04:08,841 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you get seasick too. 80 00:04:08,961 --> 00:04:10,321 Speaker 3: I get se sick, so do I. 81 00:04:10,401 --> 00:04:12,401 Speaker 1: And I remember the time and I saw it on 82 00:04:12,441 --> 00:04:14,881 Speaker 1: your Instagram and the pictures look beautiful. You stayed on 83 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,561 Speaker 1: a beautiful boat. You slept on the boat for a 84 00:04:17,601 --> 00:04:22,401 Speaker 1: few days, and I remember seeing the highlights real being like, 85 00:04:22,521 --> 00:04:25,281 Speaker 1: oh my god, that looks so beautiful. What a lovely trip, 86 00:04:25,361 --> 00:04:27,721 Speaker 1: she said. And then you were like, I literally you 87 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,641 Speaker 1: went to shore one day and you wanted to cry 88 00:04:30,961 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: at the thought of getting back on the boat because 89 00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:35,281 Speaker 1: she felt so sick. I was like, oh, that's the. 90 00:04:35,201 --> 00:04:36,161 Speaker 3: Worst some of it. 91 00:04:36,361 --> 00:04:39,161 Speaker 2: I was like, and it was really interesting, actually, now 92 00:04:39,201 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 2: that you bring me back to that is like, say, 93 00:04:41,361 --> 00:04:45,481 Speaker 2: for instance, on that particular trip, the child of mine 94 00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:49,481 Speaker 2: that was right next to me and just feeling it 95 00:04:49,761 --> 00:04:50,801 Speaker 2: so badly. 96 00:04:50,641 --> 00:04:53,281 Speaker 1: Was else so same scenario. 97 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:56,681 Speaker 3: She was like, we're both very much land animals. 98 00:04:56,801 --> 00:04:58,841 Speaker 2: And the way that that boat was broken up was 99 00:04:58,921 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 2: that two of us had to sleep on the top 100 00:05:01,681 --> 00:05:04,601 Speaker 2: deck and the chop deck had more windows and it 101 00:05:04,641 --> 00:05:07,481 Speaker 2: was more open that I felt way better there. 102 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,281 Speaker 3: Than down below and tucked in. Yeah, and I know 103 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,041 Speaker 3: that they say. 104 00:05:11,241 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 2: The shop is going to be rockier and all the rest, 105 00:05:12,961 --> 00:05:15,201 Speaker 2: but I didn't like the idea that I was down 106 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:18,361 Speaker 2: the bottom, which is so weird when I think about it, 107 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,681 Speaker 2: because I flew on an aircraft for a living for 108 00:05:21,761 --> 00:05:24,521 Speaker 2: three years, and where you sleep on that bad Boy 109 00:05:24,641 --> 00:05:26,361 Speaker 2: is tucked right down the bottom of the air. 110 00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,041 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's different. I get what you mean, because 111 00:05:29,281 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: I've never felt sick on an airplane ever, doesn't matter 112 00:05:32,481 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: how much tablence there is, I've never felt like that. 113 00:05:34,921 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: But on a boat, I'm exactly the same. In the 114 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:41,081 Speaker 1: thought of being down underground. Jay and the girls have 115 00:05:41,161 --> 00:05:43,121 Speaker 1: gone on and on at me for years about going 116 00:05:43,121 --> 00:05:45,441 Speaker 1: on a cruise. I'm like, I can't see because I 117 00:05:46,201 --> 00:05:51,121 Speaker 1: can't cope with being stuck somewhere and not being able 118 00:05:51,121 --> 00:05:52,121 Speaker 1: to get off, and phebe, I. 119 00:05:52,161 --> 00:05:54,001 Speaker 3: Think that's probably a little bit to do with mine. 120 00:05:54,081 --> 00:05:56,721 Speaker 2: Is like that idea, like people come to you and 121 00:05:56,761 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 2: go cruisers and cruisers and when we love it, we 122 00:05:59,521 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 2: just get there and we unpack ones and we do this. 123 00:06:01,641 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 2: And I can understand and see why people would love it, 124 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,161 Speaker 2: like I can see from a holiday perspective why you 125 00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:11,561 Speaker 2: would love it. But the idea of putting me on 126 00:06:11,601 --> 00:06:13,561 Speaker 2: a boat for two weeks and I'm stuck on that 127 00:06:13,561 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 2: boat for two weeks would not go. It doesn't matter 128 00:06:17,361 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 2: where you could put me on the bottom of the 129 00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 2: boat or the top of the boat. 130 00:06:20,761 --> 00:06:21,601 Speaker 3: It's just not going to work. 131 00:06:21,641 --> 00:06:24,521 Speaker 1: And I feel like with cruise ships, like we've really digressed. 132 00:06:24,521 --> 00:06:27,121 Speaker 1: But I feel like with cruise ships they've come with 133 00:06:27,161 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: a bad rap. Yeah literally, you only ever see a 134 00:06:29,961 --> 00:06:32,081 Speaker 1: cruise ship on the news when it's coming and they've 135 00:06:32,121 --> 00:06:33,561 Speaker 1: all got gastro with. 136 00:06:33,721 --> 00:06:36,361 Speaker 2: Kind of digress, But it's still around the theme of 137 00:06:36,721 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 2: I as a kid, I remember if the power went out, 138 00:06:40,841 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 2: I would vomit. If there was something pretty bad like 139 00:06:43,641 --> 00:06:46,041 Speaker 2: go down, my first thing that goes is my tummy. 140 00:06:46,081 --> 00:06:46,521 Speaker 3: I vomit. 141 00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:50,041 Speaker 2: I then started getting car sickness vomit, and so this 142 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:53,561 Speaker 2: fear I think came from obviously being younger, but at 143 00:06:53,561 --> 00:06:56,001 Speaker 2: the same time it carried over Now I was sort 144 00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:57,561 Speaker 2: of hoping out of my two kids, I was like, 145 00:06:57,761 --> 00:07:00,961 Speaker 2: not that, because it makes it hard, right, Like I 146 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:04,881 Speaker 2: am a head case when gastro is going through your household, 147 00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:08,801 Speaker 2: it brings me unstuck. But Gracie is taking on little 148 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,561 Speaker 2: tendencies of having like even when she talks about it, 149 00:07:11,601 --> 00:07:15,041 Speaker 2: she gets really like and I thought, oh my god, 150 00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:19,241 Speaker 2: out of everything I could have passed down, I don't 151 00:07:19,281 --> 00:07:21,321 Speaker 2: want you to have that part. But I think it's 152 00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:25,041 Speaker 2: a little bit like especially getting older hormones, you know, 153 00:07:25,281 --> 00:07:27,481 Speaker 2: heightened things for young girls. 154 00:07:27,601 --> 00:07:28,401 Speaker 3: And so I was. 155 00:07:28,401 --> 00:07:31,081 Speaker 2: Hoping that maybe it would just be like a short 156 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,281 Speaker 2: stint and then it will sort of pass. 157 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:37,241 Speaker 3: But Gracie is like the world is ending and she's 158 00:07:37,601 --> 00:07:39,201 Speaker 3: throwing herself on the ground. 159 00:07:39,681 --> 00:07:42,561 Speaker 1: I feel like, no matter how hard you try to 160 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:47,321 Speaker 1: not put on certain phobias to your kids, there's something 161 00:07:47,441 --> 00:07:50,401 Speaker 1: inside that it just happens. Anyway. I've always been a 162 00:07:50,441 --> 00:07:54,681 Speaker 1: bit OCD in my life, but I've actively tried to 163 00:07:54,921 --> 00:07:58,081 Speaker 1: not say anything around my kids and tried to not 164 00:07:58,241 --> 00:08:01,441 Speaker 1: be super so they're not aware of it. But merely 165 00:08:01,521 --> 00:08:03,241 Speaker 1: is definitely the same. And I look at some of 166 00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:05,201 Speaker 1: the stuff she does and I'm like, that's exactly the 167 00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:07,521 Speaker 1: same as what I do, but she's never seen me 168 00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:07,961 Speaker 1: do it. 169 00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:09,641 Speaker 3: Maybe there is something in genetics, so. 170 00:08:09,761 --> 00:08:11,481 Speaker 1: Like nature versus nurture or something. 171 00:08:11,881 --> 00:08:14,841 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, because if you're not actively doing it, So 172 00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:16,681 Speaker 2: it's going back to like what you know, what we 173 00:08:16,721 --> 00:08:19,761 Speaker 2: always talk about, which is like actions speak louder than words. 174 00:08:19,961 --> 00:08:22,521 Speaker 2: You're not physically saying it, but maybe your actions are 175 00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:26,281 Speaker 2: displaying it without you knowing it subconsciously, right, Yeah, because 176 00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:28,761 Speaker 2: when we start to do things, and when it comes 177 00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:32,921 Speaker 2: to patterning and behaviors, we are doing it sometimes without 178 00:08:32,961 --> 00:08:36,401 Speaker 2: subconsciously knowing what we're doing, and they're always watching. Maybe 179 00:08:36,401 --> 00:08:38,481 Speaker 2: that's where it comes from as well. My whole thing 180 00:08:38,521 --> 00:08:40,921 Speaker 2: with vomiting and stuff like that. I mean, I don't 181 00:08:40,961 --> 00:08:43,321 Speaker 2: know that she's actively like you know, being around or 182 00:08:43,361 --> 00:08:45,761 Speaker 2: seeing it. I have no idea, but this is one 183 00:08:45,761 --> 00:08:48,081 Speaker 2: of those things that I don't have too many, like 184 00:08:48,681 --> 00:08:53,081 Speaker 2: extreme fears or phobias. Cane toads, Okay, cane toads is 185 00:08:53,121 --> 00:08:56,881 Speaker 2: another one of mine. Yeah, just I think growing up 186 00:08:56,921 --> 00:09:00,561 Speaker 2: in North Queensland just put something in the back of 187 00:09:00,561 --> 00:09:02,921 Speaker 2: my brain that if it starts to jump or move around, 188 00:09:02,961 --> 00:09:06,041 Speaker 2: I am on this, like I am where It's like 189 00:09:06,081 --> 00:09:09,321 Speaker 2: if a snake goes past, I'm like, oh look, wow, 190 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,361 Speaker 2: a bit like, oh, I might stand back here, but 191 00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,801 Speaker 2: I'm not like shit or a. 192 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:17,681 Speaker 1: Spider, even though like the snake would kill you, but 193 00:09:17,721 --> 00:09:20,201 Speaker 1: the cane toad isn't. And those cane toads don't even 194 00:09:20,281 --> 00:09:22,121 Speaker 1: like they're so dumb. They don't even get out of 195 00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:22,681 Speaker 1: the way. 196 00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:23,921 Speaker 3: Like you can. Don't. 197 00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:26,601 Speaker 1: They're not fast enough to move. I don't if you 198 00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:27,601 Speaker 1: stepped on one. 199 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:27,921 Speaker 3: I don't know. 200 00:09:28,481 --> 00:09:30,881 Speaker 2: I have stepped on one many times, because in North 201 00:09:30,921 --> 00:09:35,441 Speaker 2: Queensland you can not walk across grass without either kicking 202 00:09:35,481 --> 00:09:37,801 Speaker 2: one or stepping on it or having it jump right 203 00:09:37,841 --> 00:09:39,841 Speaker 2: across your feet kind of thing. Because there's so many 204 00:09:39,881 --> 00:09:43,161 Speaker 2: of them. And when we were out there, you'd hear 205 00:09:43,201 --> 00:09:46,961 Speaker 2: all the things like people, oh, they're a pest. 206 00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:47,321 Speaker 3: You know. 207 00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:50,441 Speaker 2: This was very far North Queensland, because they are truly 208 00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:52,401 Speaker 2: a pest up there, because they live in the cane 209 00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:53,041 Speaker 2: fields whatever. 210 00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:56,441 Speaker 3: But they're a pest and so people used to do awful, 211 00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:58,441 Speaker 3: awful things to get rid of them. 212 00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,721 Speaker 2: One of the most traumatic scenes of one of my 213 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,961 Speaker 2: childhood with a cane toad was so much chucked it. 214 00:10:02,921 --> 00:10:03,521 Speaker 3: On the fire. 215 00:10:03,921 --> 00:10:07,481 Speaker 2: Oh it blew and I was just like, I thought, 216 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:10,041 Speaker 2: it's one of the most traumatic moments. I was like, 217 00:10:10,201 --> 00:10:12,601 Speaker 2: I don't know why, because I don't like them, but 218 00:10:12,641 --> 00:10:13,841 Speaker 2: I don't need to hurt them. 219 00:10:14,121 --> 00:10:16,041 Speaker 1: No, that's cruel, that's horrible. 220 00:10:16,721 --> 00:10:17,641 Speaker 3: That was Grade seven. 221 00:10:17,841 --> 00:10:21,881 Speaker 1: If we're gonna bring cane toads back to parenting and children, 222 00:10:22,361 --> 00:10:24,521 Speaker 1: I just was thinking to myself, you said cane toads 223 00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:26,441 Speaker 1: are a pest. Yes, cane toads are a pest. They're 224 00:10:26,481 --> 00:10:31,641 Speaker 1: an introduced pest. We introduced that pest to Queensland, just 225 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,961 Speaker 1: like kids introduced pests.