1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: on which this podcast was produced, the Galligall people of 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: the orination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present. 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 2: It's November twenty twenty two and we're in the Blue 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 2: Mountains at the base of the Sweet Dreams rockface. Gus 6 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 2: Taylor has climbed here many times. Sweet Dreams is known 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 2: in the climbing community as being a beginner friendly spot. 8 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,240 Speaker 2: It's the perfect place for Gus to take his mate 9 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 2: Millsy on his first ever climb. Helmets on ropes fastened. 10 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 2: They're both excited. Gus pulls out his phone to capture 11 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 2: the special moment. Millsy smiles from ear to ear. They 12 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 2: both keep climbing, but soon after setting off, there's a 13 00:00:54,720 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 2: freak accident and tragedy strikes. Millsy won't make it home 14 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 2: that day, and because of his strength, he'll keep his 15 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 2: mate alive. I'm at Middleton and this is head Game today, 16 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:21,199 Speaker 2: Gus Taylor on Climbing out of the Darkness. Gus, welcome 17 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 2: to my podcast, head Game. Was climbing always in your blood? 18 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 3: Yeah? Look, as a kid, I was always climbing trees. 19 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 4: I think. 20 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 3: Just climbing anything. So in a way, I guess, I 21 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 3: guess it was sort of always there. I think one 22 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,680 Speaker 3: of the earliest memories I have is being out in 23 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 3: the backyard stuck on the back fence, which was just 24 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 3: like two meter tall, like wooden picket fence, and I 25 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,639 Speaker 3: was just hanging upside down by my undies. It seems 26 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 3: to have always been there. But yeah, I think I 27 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 3: did fall in love with climbing until much much later 28 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 3: in life. 29 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 2: So yeah, and all this is self taught you. This 30 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 2: was just something that you just committed to, became a 31 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 2: hobby than a passion. And then you jump, You take 32 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 2: quite a serious jump. You go to America to Joshua 33 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 2: Tree climbing Joshua Tree back in two thousands and eight. 34 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 2: What's a phenomenal place. You feel like the place literally 35 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 2: swallows you up. There's so much to do there, from 36 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,519 Speaker 2: bouldering to climbing, to hiking, you name it. And it's 37 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 2: just vast, isn't it to get from one location to another? 38 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong. There's some nice little barbecue sort 39 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 2: of areas and stuff like that. But you found yourself there, 40 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 2: didn't you. When what year was that? Twenty seventeen, So yeah, 41 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: nearly a decade after myself. Who are you there with 42 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 2: and what took you or what brought you to Joshua 43 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 2: Tree in the States. 44 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 4: So I was on this. 45 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:59,959 Speaker 3: Sabbatical really from work and life and just about everything else, 46 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 3: and we were climbing. I was climbing with friends in 47 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 3: Utah in the desert for about close close to eight 48 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 3: weeks and it was absolutely out of this world. It 49 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 3: was incredible. And the last part of this trip we 50 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 3: sort of just got talking about, you know, how do 51 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 3: we seal the deal, how do we you know, what's 52 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 3: a good sign off here to this trip? And Joshua 53 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 3: Tree wasn't too far away. It was probably about a 54 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 3: five hour drive, which you know, it's not too bad. 55 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 3: So we decided to go there for the week as 56 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 3: just a way to experience something different before coming home. 57 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean, as you say, the place follows 58 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: you up. It's amaze you get lost there, you know. 59 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 3: But yeah, for that week, we just decided to absorb 60 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 3: the history of the place. And that's probably one of 61 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 3: the most I guess interesting aspects of Joshua Tree for 62 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:03,119 Speaker 3: climbing is it was one of the birthplaces of climbing 63 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 3: in the US, and you have all of these stories 64 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 3: of these guys in the sixties and seventies. 65 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 4: You know, there's no climbing shoes. 66 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 3: Then they're wearing like tennis shoes on opposite feet so 67 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 3: that they can get their big toe closer to the 68 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 3: edge of the shoe, you know, like and the gear 69 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 3: that they're using is really archaic. And to be honest, 70 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 3: like you hear some of these stories about these roots 71 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 3: that you're climbing with modern gear, you know, and thinking 72 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 3: about how it was done, and just it just blows 73 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 3: your mind. You're like, I cannot believe how brave these 74 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 3: guys were. You know, they're hard, yeah, hard men and yeah. 75 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 3: So we found ourselves sort of trying to sample the 76 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 3: history of this area. And one of these roots that 77 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 3: was put up back in the seventies was this big, 78 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 3: beautiful boulder called the White Rastafarian. 79 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 2: And White Rastafarian love it. 80 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's sort of just it's it's a little 81 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 3: bit unique because most of the bouldering there is like 82 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 3: you get these like lumps of stuff that's you know, 83 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,359 Speaker 3: all sitting there in one place. This boulder is sitting 84 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 3: on its own out in the field and it sort 85 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 3: of just it magnetizes you, like if you're walking through 86 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 3: the place, you would you couldn't help, but look at it, 87 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 3: you know, and we decide to, you know, spend our 88 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 3: last day trying to climb this piece of history. And 89 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 3: you know, one of the things about this area is 90 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 3: again I guess these these guys back then were it 91 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 3: was like a tall poppy syndrome or something where they 92 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 3: would climb something really hard and they'd be like, oh no, no, 93 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 3: it's it's not that hard, you know, so that they could, 94 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 3: you know, in climbing we say sand bag, you know, 95 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 3: to try and get your friend to climate and then 96 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 3: watch them have a hard time. 97 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 2: And one of those you finished it in your head 98 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 2: you're just like so close to. 99 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 4: Yeah. 100 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, So that's really what I feel. This this climb, 101 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,919 Speaker 3: you know, and its history was was it's a total 102 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 3: sand bag. 103 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 4: I mean. 104 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 3: It says it's this grade of V two, which is 105 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 3: i mean one up from one. It starts with one, 106 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 3: so it's it's meant to be really approachable. 107 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 4: But yeah, look it was. 108 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 3: It was really hard and really high, and we had 109 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 3: a bouldering mat because all of our other equipment was 110 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 3: packed away but yeah, the accident that sort of happened 111 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 3: on that boulder changed everything for me. 112 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:06,359 Speaker 2: So wow, you to see in your face changed everything? 113 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 2: How what what happened? And bouldering is different to climbing, 114 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 2: Like bouldering is sort of like you know, it's you 115 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 2: sort of free climb, don't you use in some of 116 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 2: the areas you put the mats down and you know 117 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 2: you might make your way across the boulder or up 118 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 2: the boulder. There's no real top ropes and no prodes 119 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 2: put in. It's it's not like climbing where you're you know, 120 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 2: you either lead climbing or there's a there's a top robe, 121 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 2: or someone's on belay. This is the case. You've got 122 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 2: mats down and like you said, all your kits away. 123 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 2: You know you've got more where you go. You didn't 124 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 2: did you realize how high it was? Or or too 125 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 2: late before you realize because you hit the deck. 126 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:46,119 Speaker 3: Well yeah, I mean I'd actually climbed up to the 127 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 3: upper part of the boulder multiple times. And yeah, I 128 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 3: mean to your point, I guess that what what draws 129 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 3: climbers to bouldering at all is is you know, sort 130 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 3: of began as a way to train for climbing much 131 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 3: bigger things on rope. The reason is because these boulders 132 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 3: are pretty unwieldy things. You know, they're big, round and 133 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 3: you know, smooth most of the time, and so the 134 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 3: movement is really difficult. It's all about trying to do 135 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 3: the hardest single moves as opposed to you know, something 136 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 3: that's like about endurance and strategy and everything else. So 137 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 3: I dropped down to the mat from this same spot 138 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 3: multiple times, and the last move to finish this boulder 139 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 3: is to what I refer to as a blind hold. 140 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 3: You know, you can't really see the conter of the hold, 141 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 3: you don't really know how good it's going to be, 142 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 3: And to get to that hole you have to launch 143 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,959 Speaker 3: your body sideways. 144 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 4: And so I sort of kept getting up to that 145 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 4: spot and just thinking. 146 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,199 Speaker 3: Something doesn't feel right, you know, and looking back down 147 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 3: at the mat and thinking, yeah, look at it. You know, 148 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 3: you've taken the fall number of times it's okay, and 149 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 3: just sort. 150 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 2: Of okay, but it's not okay, Yeah okay, But you 151 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 2: know I've been here multiple times. There's got to be 152 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,079 Speaker 2: something there, right, Because there there was. 153 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 3: There was a gut feeling that I was wrestling with 154 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 3: and you know, you sort of go through this thing 155 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,559 Speaker 3: as a climber where a lot of the time you're 156 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 3: trying to rationalize your own fear, and ninety plus percent 157 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 3: of the time it is totally irrational. You know, it's 158 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 3: because you're in some extreme position, there's exposure, and your 159 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,199 Speaker 3: mind is going, well, this is kind of crazy why 160 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 3: you're here. 161 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:53,719 Speaker 4: But you realize that's just. 162 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 3: You know, if you think rationally, you've got four points 163 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 3: of contact, you're I wrote, everything's really safe, you know, 164 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 3: there's there's not too much to actually be afraid of. 165 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,680 Speaker 3: You know, it's it's just coming from from the mind. 166 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 3: And so I sort of was warring with where that 167 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 3: was and and going is it rational, is it not? 168 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 3: Should I be should I be worried? Or is am 169 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 3: I just you know playing this up? And I ended 170 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 3: up just making a call and I was like, just 171 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 3: do it, you know, And I feel like this is 172 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 3: this is this learning process through climbing. I felt like 173 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 3: I'd been on a constant journey of going I can, 174 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 3: I can, if I just try, if I just apply myself, 175 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 3: I can. And this was the one moment where I 176 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 3: really found out that I couldn't you know, which is. 177 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's hard to sort of sit with that. 178 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 3: But I ended up throwing myself at the whole and 179 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,280 Speaker 3: it was nowhere, you're as good as I hoped it 180 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 3: would be, And my body sort of peeled off the 181 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 3: top of the boulder and instead of landing square on 182 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 3: the mat, I landed, you know, on on one angle. 183 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean the bones completely disintegrated. They came 184 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 3: out of my out of my leg, through my jeans, 185 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 3: and through your jeans. 186 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 2: So you're you find yourself a heap on the floor. 187 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 2: You look down and your your left leg right, yeah, 188 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 2: your your shin bone or your your what do you 189 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 2: what's your reaction when you see that? Because obviously you 190 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 2: know you've taken appeal, because you know you've committed to 191 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 2: the jump again. You get a little bit of traction 192 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 2: on any part of the surface, you're gonna you're gonna 193 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 2: peel off, right, Like you said, you're there on the deck. 194 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,720 Speaker 2: What's going you know you've peeled off. What's going through 195 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 2: your head when you see that bone protruding? 196 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 4: The first thing. 197 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 3: Was, oh, no, I've sprained my ankle and I'm not 198 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 3: going to be able to go to Thailand. I went 199 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 3: to stand up because I wasn't looking at my left leg. 200 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 3: I was looking at my right leg because that's where 201 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 3: the pain was coming from for some really weird reason. 202 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 3: And so I went to stand up and then felt 203 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 3: obviously immediately felt fell back on my on my ass, 204 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 3: and I was just like, oh, well, that's that's really odd. 205 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 4: Why and went to stand up again. 206 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 3: And then I looked and and then the thoughts started 207 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 3: shifting pretty pretty rapidly, because what I was looking at was. 208 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 4: I mean, it's just so surreal. You don't you like to. 209 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 3: You really can't connect with your body being in that 210 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 3: sort of a state, like it just seems like you're 211 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 3: trying to disassociate with the reality of the thing. The 212 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 3: leg was completely off in a direction it shouldn't have been. 213 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 4: And then the next thing. 214 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 3: Was, you know, I think naturally you'd think, okay, well, 215 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 3: you know, people are going to be thinking about the 216 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:37,200 Speaker 3: pain and how intense the experience is. All I could 217 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 3: think of was that I was in America and the 218 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:46,080 Speaker 3: hospital horror stories that I'd heard about, and insurance and 219 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 3: everything else. All I could think about was this was 220 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 3: going to financially ruin me. I was going to wind 221 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 3: up in a hospital and end up in a lifetime 222 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 3: of you know. Yeah, And honestly, that's all that I 223 00:13:59,080 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 3: was worried about. 224 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 4: I was like, leg, you know. 225 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 3: And we had some first wilderness responders who were climbing 226 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 3: not too far from us that heard the commotion. They 227 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:15,359 Speaker 3: came over and then they were able to get an ambulance. 228 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 3: The ambulance came, got in the back of an ambulance, 229 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 3: went to a hospital, and yeah, the story from there is, 230 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 3: I mean, one in a million. The surgeon that was 231 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 3: looking after me, the first thing he said to me 232 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 3: when I got to the. 233 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 4: Hospital was. 234 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 3: What were you climbing? And I was like, why does 235 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 3: that matter? You know, don't worry about that, worry about 236 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 3: my leg, you know. And he was like, no, no, no, no, 237 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 3: Like what were you climbing? Like I go out there 238 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 3: every weekend. I climb, like I love you know, I'm 239 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 3: a climate And I was like, right, well, you know, 240 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 3: in that case, I was climbing a thing called the 241 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 3: white Raster fire. 242 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 4: In and he was like, what were you doing on that? 243 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 4: He was like, what on earth were you doing up there? 244 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 2: So the surgeon is obviously massively on side. He's a climber. 245 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 2: He knows how important obviously your legs are, and you 246 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 2: know how important it is to make sure that you 247 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 2: can utilize it again. However, I know that due to 248 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 2: complications and multiple surgeries and years of rehab, you ultimately 249 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 2: came to the decision of amputating your leg. But when 250 00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 2: did you realize the extent of the damage that was 251 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 2: to your left leg? Was it when you woke up 252 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 2: out of surgery or was there was therever a conversation 253 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: that was had that someone said to you, whether it's 254 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 2: a surgeon or someone said, look, you're not using that 255 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 2: leg again. When did you realize? When did the penny drop? 256 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 3: Honestly, you know it's wild to think about this, but 257 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 3: you know it was probably not until like the fifth 258 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 3: failed surgery. 259 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 2: You know, whil so you're going in and out? So 260 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 2: is that is that complicated? 261 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 3: Yeah? 262 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 4: There were? 263 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 3: There were over ten major surgeries over the course of 264 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 3: three years. Couldn't hold down a job in and out 265 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 3: of hospital every other week. 266 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 2: And well you say you couldn't hold down a job. Yeah, 267 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 2: people forget that. So why if you're going through this 268 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 2: one you can't climb? I take it too. That's really interesting. 269 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 2: That you said that you couldn't hold down a job 270 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 2: because you were in and out, and also was it 271 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 2: due to your mental state as well? 272 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 3: No, not really. I mean I was rearing to go. 273 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 3: I was anything that I could hold on too. I 274 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 3: was holding onto whether it be work, you know, relationships 275 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 3: with people. I was trying to function in as much 276 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 3: capacity as you know, as I could. But people don't 277 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 3: want to hire someone with a giant cage on the leg. 278 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 2: So you have one of those giant cages with all 279 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 2: the screws going in. 280 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, wow for eighteen months and then outside of that, yeah, 281 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 3: I mean you're in for a surgery, then you're laid 282 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 3: up for multiple weeks, if not a couple of months. Yeah, 283 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 3: you know, engaging with life becomes really hard. 284 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 2: It must be a quite a unique headspace to be 285 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 2: in as well. No, because obviously you're living it and 286 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 2: people are seeing you coming in and out. And was 287 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 2: there anyone during that time that you really latched onto 288 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 2: or did you find that journey quite quite lonely? I? 289 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 3: Look, I'm blessed to have some really amazing friends. They 290 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 3: were really there for me. They definitely made me feel 291 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 3: like I had support. But I think Ultimately, you know, 292 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 3: anyone that goes through something like this is going through 293 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 3: an internal struggle, and that's something you can only do yourself, 294 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:39,880 Speaker 3: regardless of what supports you have. You know, it's ultimately 295 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 3: something that you have to find the energy and the 296 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 3: motivation too, you know, wake up and do something about 297 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,399 Speaker 3: every day. By the time we get to the end 298 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 3: of that three year period, even though I was waking 299 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 3: up every morning and putting on my best face and 300 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 3: trying to focus on all the right things, appreciate, appreciation 301 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 3: and meditation and thinking about not even climbing, Like climbing 302 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 3: was over here, distant. It was just let's get back 303 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:21,119 Speaker 3: to working and you know, participating in life in a 304 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 3: quote unquote normal way. But after that three years, I 305 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 3: was really burnt out, trying to pull myself up by 306 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,439 Speaker 3: the bootstraps over and over and over again. You know, 307 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,199 Speaker 3: you come out of a surgery and the surgeon's like 308 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 3: this is the one and your hopes get brought up 309 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 3: and you're back in there in a month's time and 310 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 3: he's like, there's We're sorry, there's you know, it didn't 311 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 3: work the way that we thought it was going to work, 312 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,439 Speaker 3: and so you just you're on this roller coaster of 313 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 3: you know, expectations and then having them completely flattened expectations, 314 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 3: having them flat. 315 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 2: The emotional and psychological as well. Three years. Yeah, that 316 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 2: decision to go, let's do it. Do you remember it 317 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,159 Speaker 2: going let's go? 318 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 5: Yeah? 319 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:13,359 Speaker 2: Yeah. 320 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 3: The surgeon gave me a call. Yeah, it was a 321 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 3: very frank discussion. He sort of said, hey, look, do 322 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 3: you mind if I dial your parents in So Mom 323 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 3: and Dad ended up on the phone. 324 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 4: And. 325 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 3: He just said, look, I can keep trying, but at 326 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 3: the moment, you've rebroken your legs somehow, and after this 327 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 3: last surgery, and. 328 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 4: We've got two options. 329 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 3: We can go back to square one and restart this 330 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:55,880 Speaker 3: journey for another three years, or we can amputate. And 331 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 3: he said, look, I promise you. I promise you will 332 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:04,919 Speaker 3: be charging. You'll be out there getting after life in 333 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 3: the full capacity that you want to in a few 334 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:13,159 Speaker 3: months if you decide to take this other option. And 335 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 3: I mean that's it's actually quite an easy decision to 336 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,639 Speaker 3: make when you're given those two realities, right, It's like, 337 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 3: do I really want to put myself in this mental 338 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:27,639 Speaker 3: prison for another three years or do we want to 339 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,159 Speaker 3: get on with it? 340 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,639 Speaker 4: You know, mental prison. 341 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is an opportunity not only for me to 342 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 2: get back at life, but to get out of this 343 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 2: mental prison. 344 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,960 Speaker 4: Wow, we booked it in. We booked a date on 345 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 4: the phone. Look there. 346 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 3: There's definitely a sense of loss. You know, you miss 347 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 3: very simple things like you know, putting your socks on 348 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 3: or getting up in the middle of the night really 349 00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 3: quickly when you need to go to the loo and you. 350 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 2: Can't find yourself. Yeah, land up here. 351 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 4: Yeah. 352 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 3: But you know, if I'm really to to look at it, 353 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 3: everything after that decision has been a huge positive. 354 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 4: So I love that. 355 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:30,400 Speaker 2: So you get back into your climbing gus and then 356 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 2: power of Yours mealsy. He he rocks up one morning 357 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,239 Speaker 2: and it wants to go climbing with you. Right, So 358 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 2: you're getting back into your flow. You know, life is 359 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 2: good again. Right, It's you're you're starting to to really 360 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 2: you know, accept your leg You start to figure out 361 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,480 Speaker 2: how to get back to doing what you love doing. 362 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 2: So you go up with with with your power mealsy. 363 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 2: How does the day start off? 364 00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,159 Speaker 4: Uh? 365 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 3: One of the reasons why it took so long is 366 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 3: because you know, he's a loose cannon and he was 367 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 3: always out at gigs and you know, we you know, 368 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 3: we ended up. That's that's how the friendship began, was 369 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 3: through music, and so he was always out doing that. 370 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 3: So the day began how I expected it to. Was 371 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,600 Speaker 3: a voice memo from from Millsey absolutely shagged. 372 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 4: He was like, I'm on my way. 373 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 3: I'm coming now, you know, so sporadic a yeah, And 374 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,400 Speaker 3: I was like, all right, all right, well i'll meet 375 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 3: you up here. 376 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 4: You know, do you want a coffee? He's like, no, no, 377 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 4: don't worry about that. 378 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:38,439 Speaker 3: We're just he was so he was so keen he 379 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 3: didn't even want to start for a coffee, you know. 380 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 3: And yeah, we meet at the Sublime Point lookout and yeah, 381 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 3: hug it out and packed the bags and started heading down, 382 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 3: and yeah, he was. He was just like cheek splitting grin. 383 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:03,159 Speaker 3: He was so psyched. Yeah, he'd been bugging me for 384 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,240 Speaker 3: quite a long time. 385 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 2: So and you picked quite a quite an easy route 386 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 2: for him, obviously, because it's he's a beginner, and you know, 387 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 2: you want him to actually fall in love with it 388 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,919 Speaker 2: rather than give him something too hard to climb and 389 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 2: him to go, ah, I'm never going to do that again. 390 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, spot on. 391 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we call this climb a vertical bushwalk. 392 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 3: It's a glorified ladder, you know. And I'd sort of 393 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 3: been thinking like that entire week. Okay, how can I 394 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 3: combine all the best parts of a climbing experience into 395 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 3: into one one thing, you know, taking views, how beautiful 396 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 3: the place is, the climbing itself, and whether or not 397 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 3: that's enjoyable, how high it is, you know, basically just 398 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 3: trying to pack in as much you as possible in 399 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 3: a first climbing experience. And this route is called Sweet Dreams. 400 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:13,680 Speaker 3: It's the trade route of the Blue Mountains. Just about 401 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,720 Speaker 3: everyone who's climbed in Australia, at least in the Blue Mountains, 402 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 3: knows of this climb or has been up it. It's yeah, 403 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 3: I could probably call up my eighty year old grandma 404 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,159 Speaker 3: and take her up the scene, you know. 405 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 4: So it's perfect. 406 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:39,199 Speaker 3: We get down there, and you know, of course there 407 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 3: are it's a really popular route, so there are actually 408 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,720 Speaker 3: three climbing parties above us on the route, and so 409 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 3: we're just going through the motions of all right, you know, milsy, 410 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 3: here's what you need to do. Don't worry about anything. 411 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 3: I've got your sorded you'll just be climbing up to 412 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 3: me all day. Just enjoy it, you know, take in 413 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 3: the view. All you need to worry about, Millsy is 414 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 3: when I'm climbing, just your right hand on the rope. 415 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 3: Just don't don't take that right hand off the rope. 416 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 4: And we're good. 417 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:24,359 Speaker 3: And yeah, we have an absolute ball where climbing is. 418 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 3: The people up above us so having an amazing time 419 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 3: as well. But they there's there's like a queue going on, 420 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 3: you know. And we get to the half way spot 421 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 3: and it's like this big, beautiful ledge and they call 422 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 3: it the lunch ledge and we're hanging out and. 423 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 4: Millsley had to get back to Sydney to work. 424 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 3: He worked at Grifter the brewery in Merrickfield there, and 425 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 3: we've been talking all day about going to grab a 426 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 3: beer at the local Tumber brewery before he had to 427 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 3: go down the road. 428 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 4: And so there's these queues of people above us. 429 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,359 Speaker 3: And we're going, oh my god, how long are they 430 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,640 Speaker 3: going to be? You know, we have our lunch, we 431 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 3: sit around talk about the cricket for half an hour. 432 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 3: We get to a point where we're like, look, you 433 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 3: know they are going anywhere anytime soon. We should we 434 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,160 Speaker 3: should probably think about taking this other this other route, 435 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,359 Speaker 3: which is, you know, the lesser known exit off the 436 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,880 Speaker 3: top of this thing. But the party, one of the parties, 437 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 3: had had just finished that, so we're like, it's clear, 438 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,399 Speaker 3: let's go, let's just do that. Go get this beer 439 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:51,439 Speaker 3: and get out of here. And yeah, I start climbing 440 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:59,760 Speaker 3: up and yeah, I mean it's Look, it's really difficult 441 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:06,280 Speaker 3: to to relive the you know that the moment's here. 442 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 3: But effectively what happened is I'm sort of making my 443 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:20,680 Speaker 3: way across this little ledge and the ledge disintegrates and 444 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 3: I start falling into space, and this rock just starts 445 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 3: making its way towards Millsey, and I spin around and 446 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 3: just start shouting rock, you know, at the top of 447 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 3: my lungs, you know. And he's got a helmet on. 448 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 3: I've got a helmet on, and I don't I don't 449 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:54,040 Speaker 3: know why. I guess, you know, there's like a it's 450 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 3: almost like a deer in a headlights scenario. You know, 451 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 3: it's all happening too fast. I don't think he really 452 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 3: understood what was happening. And yeah, this this rock found 453 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 3: its way to Milsey, and yeah, he he was he 454 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 3: was not in a good way. And you know, I 455 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:31,120 Speaker 3: was just hanging there in space, and he somehow, you know, 456 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 3: he I wouldn't say he was, he was conscious, you know, 457 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 3: and somehow he was still holding the rope with his 458 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 3: right hand. And if he if he hadn't, like if 459 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 3: he'd let go, you would have. Yeah, I'd be with 460 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 3: him right now. 461 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 4: I wouldn't. 462 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 3: I wouldn't be here, you know, because you're dangling there, 463 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 3: just dangling in space. 464 00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 4: Wow. 465 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:02,080 Speaker 2: And he's been hit by this this rock. He's on 466 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 2: the floor. 467 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 3: No, he's he's he's like trying to like come to 468 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 3: you know, he's like half standing. 469 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's unconscious on his feet basically. 470 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 4: Yeah. 471 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 3: And I you know, immediately, you know, realize the severity 472 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 3: of the situation and how immediate I need to turn 473 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 3: things around. So I start swinging back and forth on 474 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 3: the rope and get onto the rock, and I mean 475 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 3: the only way down to him. Like he can't he 476 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 3: can't do anything. So I have to untie, and I 477 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 3: untie the rope and I climb down. And I'm really 478 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 3: just at this point trying to trying to make sure 479 00:30:54,960 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 3: that he, you know, he feels comfortable. I think it 480 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 3: occurred to me pretty early on that what we were 481 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 3: looking at here was yeah, you know, it just wasn't good. 482 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 3: It really wasn't good. I thought we were going to 483 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 3: get out at the very least, you know. And something 484 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 3: that's really hard for me to sit with is, you know, 485 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:35,160 Speaker 3: after fifteen years of climbing, you have all of this 486 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:40,720 Speaker 3: rope knowledge and rescue skill and all of these ways 487 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 3: that you can use the tools that you have to 488 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,240 Speaker 3: be able to get out of a situation. 489 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 4: And I could not. There was nothing, there was nothing 490 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 4: I could do. 491 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 3: And that it really still, you know, plagues me that, 492 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 3: you know, I just I just had to sort of 493 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 3: sit there and wait. And so that's you know that 494 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 3: the only thing that I could do was to make 495 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 3: him feel comfortable. But you know, like I made him 496 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 3: a little bed out of the rope, and you know, 497 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 3: we just kept talking about the cricket and I just 498 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 3: kept his mind on other things. 499 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 2: And he couldn't move at this stage. He was You're 500 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,719 Speaker 2: doing exactly what you should be doing, mate, And and 501 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 2: you know in your head that's not good. When do 502 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 2: you realize when does milty sadly, sadly pass? 503 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 4: We were there for a long time and. 504 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 3: The chopper couldn't get in because it was windy, so 505 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 3: the paramedics had to set up this you know, really 506 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 3: complicated police system from the top of the cliff down 507 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 3: to down to Milsey and that took hours for them 508 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:13,840 Speaker 3: to set up. So during his time, you know, someone 509 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 3: had obviously been able to get down to him and. 510 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 4: Give him some pain relief. 511 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 3: And yeah, and he's, you know, the conversation just started 512 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:31,320 Speaker 3: getting a little bit thinner. 513 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 4: You know. 514 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:37,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, he's breathing. 515 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:45,480 Speaker 5: Shallower and shallower, and and gave him, you know, a 516 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 5: really big hug and and I just I just started saying, 517 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 5: you know, I made I'm so sorry, and you know, 518 00:33:58,720 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 5: I was like. 519 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 4: You know, what what can I do? 520 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,800 Speaker 3: Is you know, did you want me to call your 521 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 3: your mom, your your girlfriend, like tell me anything. And 522 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:17,920 Speaker 3: he just looked at me and he just he just 523 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 3: smiled and he just shook his head and he said, 524 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,960 Speaker 3: it's cool, man, It's cool. 525 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,160 Speaker 4: And and that was that was that was. 526 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:45,920 Speaker 3: It, you know, he he was he was gone, And yeah, 527 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 3: I relive that moment. 528 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:50,879 Speaker 4: Every day. 529 00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:58,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can see how painful it is for you. 530 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,280 Speaker 2: You obviously go down a quite a dark, dark passage, 531 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,920 Speaker 2: a spiral in your life. Due to that incident. But 532 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 2: then you have this moment of calamity, which I suppose 533 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:14,120 Speaker 2: really works is Millsy wouldn't want me to go down 534 00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,440 Speaker 2: this path of self destruction. Millsy wouldn't want me to 535 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,040 Speaker 2: never climb again. Mealsy wouldn't and rightly so, mate, you 536 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 2: know it's one hundred percent that. And you speak about 537 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 2: that moment and ultimately you have because you went on. 538 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 2: You're now part of the power Olympic climbing team, You're 539 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,040 Speaker 2: representing your country, you know, talk about doing him, doing 540 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:39,320 Speaker 2: him proud? Is that still very much at the forefront 541 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,840 Speaker 2: of your mind now after having gone down that spiral 542 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 2: and going do you know what, Mealsy, I'm going to 543 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:44,759 Speaker 2: do this for you? 544 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, And. 545 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 3: That last last phrase there is really like the pointy 546 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,560 Speaker 3: end of this view. You know, there's so much of 547 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 3: this of the fire and the motivation that comes from one, 548 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 3: I'm doing this because you would be bloody doing it 549 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:15,799 Speaker 3: if you were here, and two you wouldn't want me 550 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 3: to to you know, not you would You wouldn't want 551 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 3: this any other way, you know. So this this feeling 552 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,279 Speaker 3: of I Am doing this for you is like a 553 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,759 Speaker 3: fire under my feet, you. 554 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:34,040 Speaker 2: Know, fire you're right, and it is like a fire, right, 555 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,440 Speaker 2: It's like a burning, it's like right almost like right, listen, 556 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,719 Speaker 2: I've got no choice but to do it, and it 557 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 2: is Yeah, I love that. 558 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 3: Love that yeah, and you know that day coming back 559 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 3: to that feeling of not being able to do anything. 560 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 4: I really just want to, you. 561 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,759 Speaker 3: Know, show him that I can, you know, and it's 562 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:03,840 Speaker 3: coming back to that I can not, I can't, And. 563 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to walk around with that in 564 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:08,040 Speaker 4: my head. 565 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 3: Milsy had a can do attitude and I think, you know, 566 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 3: hard work and dedication there are two key ingredients to 567 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,879 Speaker 3: get any any anything right. 568 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,000 Speaker 4: And yeah, I mean. 569 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 3: It looks it's still hard to swallow. Every time I 570 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,400 Speaker 3: pull on the wall. There's there's a feeling, you know, 571 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 3: that I need to absorb, but there's also joy and 572 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:46,759 Speaker 3: there's also this feeling of being freed when I'm doing this. 573 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 3: And you know, for a long time I didn't climb 574 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:54,360 Speaker 3: after the accident and the thought of it revolted me, 575 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 3: you know, I didn't. I just couldn't engage with it. 576 00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,759 Speaker 3: And I had friends take me out for a day 577 00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:08,400 Speaker 3: and somehow they ended up convincing me to just just 578 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 3: to tie in and just not even climb, just touch 579 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:18,359 Speaker 3: the rock, you know, and try to reconnect. And I 580 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 3: was really expecting this feeling of negativity and nothing good, 581 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:33,160 Speaker 3: and the complete opposite happened, and I felt the only 582 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,440 Speaker 3: way I can describe this is it I felt like 583 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:44,520 Speaker 3: I'd lost myself and it was like giving myself a handshake, 584 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,440 Speaker 3: you know. It was like this moment of like, ah, 585 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:52,520 Speaker 3: there you are. You forced this out of the equation 586 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,399 Speaker 3: and you haven't felt like yourself for six months, and 587 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:56,959 Speaker 3: all of a sudden. 588 00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,160 Speaker 4: You come out your Cookaine. 589 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,279 Speaker 2: Wow, this is this is who I am as well 590 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,400 Speaker 2: meant to be, This is what people would want for me. 591 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,239 Speaker 4: Yeah. 592 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,239 Speaker 2: I love that when you said coming back round to 593 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,160 Speaker 2: I can do, you know, and all those I can't, 594 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,399 Speaker 2: I can't, I can't, I can't, and you come back 595 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,759 Speaker 2: three sixty of I can talk to me, and let's 596 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,560 Speaker 2: finish off on the I can of your career now 597 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 2: representing your country and and and being a para climber. 598 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:33,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, not a journey that I, you know, remotely saw 599 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,160 Speaker 3: in the pipeline at all, but. 600 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,520 Speaker 4: An amazing para climber. 601 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:45,680 Speaker 3: Sarah Larcolm, who's been a multiple medalist for for Australia. 602 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 3: She reached out and yeah, she just through Instagram. She 603 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,440 Speaker 3: was just like, hey, you know, I got this comp 604 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 3: on in Melbourne. You should come along, and you know, 605 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,680 Speaker 3: and look she's she's been a really wrong advocate for 606 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 3: trying to build the community, you know. And I was 607 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:14,240 Speaker 3: just like, sorry, nah, I'm good. Yeah, I've never competed 608 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 3: in my life. You know, I climb on rocks, I 609 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:22,800 Speaker 3: don't climb on plastic. And she she said something that 610 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,480 Speaker 3: that stuck with me, and it just like planted a 611 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,400 Speaker 3: seed and sort of just kept popping up every now 612 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,160 Speaker 3: and again. She said, you know there's a chance that 613 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:36,360 Speaker 3: para climbing will be in the Paralympics. It hasn't been 614 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,359 Speaker 3: announced yet, but you know, just so you know, just 615 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,440 Speaker 3: you know, it was. 616 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,800 Speaker 2: Just got yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 617 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,479 Speaker 3: She planted the seed and and it looked long story short, 618 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,759 Speaker 3: I ended up going, okay, well I'll just throw throw 619 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,960 Speaker 3: my hat in the ring and we'll see how we go. 620 00:40:55,120 --> 00:41:00,840 Speaker 3: And I went down and ended up time in first 621 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,319 Speaker 3: place with the guy who gave me a climbing leg, 622 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,480 Speaker 3: the same guy around. 623 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:09,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 624 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,320 Speaker 4: So so crazy. 625 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:15,000 Speaker 3: And then from there it's it's been dive, you know, 626 00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:21,840 Speaker 3: pretty much diving headfirst into another world entirely where this 627 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 3: sport is just filled with the most inspiring people and 628 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,360 Speaker 3: stories you could possibly imagine yourself. 629 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,960 Speaker 2: Make sure that, you know, honestly, make sure. 630 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,880 Speaker 4: You put that in the pot, because it's true, so true. 631 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,759 Speaker 3: And yeah, look, I mean while I was in the 632 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,640 Speaker 3: it was in Europe earlier this year for a World Cup, 633 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:45,440 Speaker 3: and while we were there, it got announced and you know, 634 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,480 Speaker 3: fully approved that climbing para climbing will be in the 635 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:54,120 Speaker 3: Paralympics in twenty twenty eight for LA. 636 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:58,239 Speaker 4: And you know, the mood over there was palpable. 637 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,960 Speaker 3: You know, it was just this electricity after this announcement 638 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 3: and the level of psych and motivation from all of 639 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:06,680 Speaker 3: these athletes, it's just. 640 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:09,800 Speaker 4: Orders of magnitude greater. 641 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,840 Speaker 3: You know, if it wasn't already there, it's now just Yeah, 642 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 3: I mean if you could bottle that, yeah, well. 643 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,720 Speaker 2: You're gonna have to bottle it mate, right because twenty 644 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,880 Speaker 2: twenty eight. Yeah, that's that your next goal is that 645 00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,320 Speaker 2: were you're headed towards. 646 00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:30,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been NonStop working, working, It's six days a 647 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 3: week training and it'll be NonStop really for the next 648 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,799 Speaker 3: three years to get there. 649 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,560 Speaker 2: So there you go, mate, Listen, we will wrap up 650 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 2: there because that is your next I can do right, 651 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:47,640 Speaker 2: absolutely get to the twenty twenty eight Paralympics and you know, 652 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,680 Speaker 2: takeaway medle Mate, you've got There's no doubt in my 653 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 2: mind that you know. I know it's a big ask. 654 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,440 Speaker 2: But if there's big asks and if there's anyone that 655 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,840 Speaker 2: can stand up and front those big asks may issue 656 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,439 Speaker 2: especially with the life that you mate. Thank you ever 657 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,879 Speaker 2: so much for coming on my podcast, head Game. It's 658 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,680 Speaker 2: been an absolute pleasure to keep inspiring mate, and listen 659 00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 2: to twenty twenty eight Let's go after. 660 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:09,240 Speaker 4: It for Milsy. 661 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,600 Speaker 2: My guest today was Gus Taylor. I hope you enjoyed 662 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,000 Speaker 2: this episode of head Game. If you did, please share 663 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,520 Speaker 2: it with a friend. I'm Att Middleton. Catch you in 664 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,799 Speaker 2: the next episode.